The Food Medic - S10 EP1 How to eliminate excuses and start achieving your goals with Marie Forleo

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

In this episode Dr Hazel is joined by host of MarieTV, Entrepreneur & Philanthropist, Marie Forleo. Her #1 New York Times best-selling book, Everything is Figureoutable is available now.This episode covers: How to get out of your way when it comes to being consistent with our goals and habits. Eliminate the “I don’t have time excuse” with this one practice. Understanding fear vs intuition when it comes to decision making Getting clear on your goals and letting go of old ones. How to stop caring about what other people think. Why you should “start before you’re ready” Interested in more content like this? Check out www.thefoodmedic.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and a big welcome back to a brand new season of the Food Medic podcast. I'm your host as always Dr Hazel Wallace. I'm a medical doctor, nutritionist, author and founder of the Food Medic and I'm so very happy to be back in your ears. So this is season 10 of the Food Medic podcast which is absolutely crazy to me. So thank you for staying with us over the years and if you're new around here hello and welcome to the podcast and I hope you stick around too. If you are new make sure to go back through our previous seasons as we have so many great guests and great episodes for you to just work your way through. Now I know I say this each season but I promise you that this season is so good with guests like Marie Forleo, Dr David Spiegel, Joshua Patterson and the runner

team and even my own fertility doctor. So make sure to subscribe if you haven't already so that you're the first to hear about any new episodes. I also hugely appreciate it when you do and every time you leave a comment, a rating or a review I promise it means the world to us and allows us to keep bringing awesome guests and amazing episodes. This season we're also going to continue with our mini episodes of Ask Dr Hazel where I answer your questions in a slightly shorter format. So if you would like to submit your questions or request a topic, please send your voice recorded questions to info at thefoodmedic.co.uk for your chance to be featured. So that's enough ramble from me. I'm really excited to be back and so incredibly excited

to introduce this first guest, Marie Fordio. Named by Oprah as a thought leader for the next generation and owner of one of Inc's 500 fastest growing companies, Marie has created a socially conscious digital empire that inspires millions. She's the star of the award-winning show MarieTV with over 75 million views and host of the Marie Fortio podcast with nearly 26 million downloads. Marie has taught entrepreneurs, artists, and multi-passionate go-getters from all walks of life on how to dream big and back it up with daily action to create results. She runs the acclaimed business training program B-School with the writing program The Copy Cure and the joyful productivity program Time Genius. Her New York number one Times bestseller Everything is

Figureoutable is available now. Marie, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me on, it's such a joy. Oh it's so nice to see you, like we were saying it'd be so nice if you're here in person but I get the joy of seeing you across this platform. For those who have never heard of you, which there is probably not very many people can you tell us in a couple of sentences who you are and what you're about so as a being I am really about helping myself and other people discover the tools the practices practices, the ideas, the concepts, the mindset shifts that we all need to live an extraordinary, joyful, creative, expansive, expressive life. And that can take many forms. So it might be exploring our livelihoods. What are our gifts that we're on the planet to give

and how can we do so in a way that is profitable and fun and a full expression of our being? If it relates to our productivity and our time management, which is something that is profitable and fun and a full expression of our being. If it relates to our productivity and our time management, which is something that is extremely important to me, it's helping people understand the difference between living in the world of what I call time stress and the world of being a time genius, two completely different paradigms. And I'm also very passionate about health and fitness, well-being, energy, and spirituality.

So that's me in a nutshell. I love that. I love that. And a lot of people who listen to this podcast are also very passionate about their health and fitness. We are a health podcast after all. And one of the questions I would love to start with is, how is it that some days it is so easy to get up and go out for a run or go to a workout class

or do something that's healthy, move our bodies. And other days, even if we love doing that activity, it's so challenging. Yeah. Well, we human beings are pretty fickle creatures. And I think, first of all, it's really normal to have these bursts of incredible energy where you're like, I've got it and I'm on top of the world. And then other times, as you very well know, depending on our sleep patterns, what we've eaten, what's happening with us emotionally or psychologically, those things can really impact how we feel when we get up in the morning and how much energy and verve we have to get going with our day. And so I think one of the best things that I've discovered that really supports me is one, being absolutely kind with myself and recognizing that I am not a machine. You know, we're all in this era of technology where we're on our phones 24-7. Most of us rarely turn them off. We're on our computers or some kind of device. And so oftentimes, I know I've mistaken this,

I almost think that I'm a machine and that I should be operating, right, the same way every single day, get up super early, you know, be productive all day and then go to sleep and have everything have this level of evenness like a machine. And it took me a while, honestly, to realize like I am so not a machine. And treating myself like one is the fastest way for burnout. It's the fastest way to throw my hormones out of whack. It's the fastest way to sink myself into a place of feeling depressed, sparking a lot of anxiety, sparking a lot of comparison

and feeling overall like I'm just not good enough. So one of the other things that I've done in my own life that's helped me is actually to lower the bar a little bit. You know, I don't have to work out six days or seven days a week in order to be my healthiest and strongest. Now, am I gonna move all those six or seven days a week? Yes, but there healthiest and strongest. Now, am I going to move all those six or seven days a week? Yes. But there are going to be days where I'm going to do a workout that is

perhaps a little more vigorous, a little more intense. And there's going to be other days where I'm wise enough now to listen to my body and say, you know what? 20 minutes of yoga is going to be better than my 50 minute HIIT class on this particular day because I need something a little gentler. And there's sometimes when if there's a lot happening for me emotionally or mentally, or something's happening at work, a 10 minute easy workout is way better than beating myself up because I didn't get to that again, intense level of pushing it to the max. So I don't know if any of that helps, but I think that we have to be a lot kinder to ourselves. And I think that we have to pay really close attention to some of our habits and patterns of thinking, of eating, of drinking, and of feeling if we want to kind of not fall into those

pits of overwhelm and having big highs and low crashes. Yeah, I love that. And I think it is about being intuitive and exercise for taking that as an example is quite stressful on the body and a good stress. But if you're already very stressed, then maybe like you said, the HIIT workout isn't going to be helpful for you right now. And the best thing for your energy is probably something low impact, maybe outside, maybe with friends, and finding ways that you can make it fit into your life and fit into how you're feeling. I'm absolutely for that. And not just doing what we think we should do, because we haven't done that class this week. So we should do we have to get it done. It's the weekend. So I think that's the best piece of advice. But one of the things I think I'm definitely guilty of is, especially when work gets busy,

is I don't have time to go to the gym or I don't have time to prioritize sleep or do the things I know that are good for my health. And I think time is something we could all do with more of, some people more so than others, but we don't have a time machine or a magic watch that we can get that extra hour. I wish we could. And from reading your book, I know that you are not a huge fan of using time as an excuse

or the no time excuse. Yes. And I would love to know what are your practices around getting out of that mindset of constantly saying that instead of saying, I'm not prioritizing this. Yes. Okay, so let's talk about time a little bit.

And I try and strive and certainly not perfect at it, but I like living an excuse-free life. You know, my book, Everything is Figureoutable, I believe to my core, I've seen this to be true and I know this to be true for everyone, we have this innate power to figure anything out. And whether that is how to get into the best shape of our life, whether that's how to change our career, whether that's how to get into a new relationship, whether that's with ourself or someone else, we have this innate creative ability and power to figure anything out. And once you buy into that notion, and it's a really

powerful notion, what often comes up for people, like you mentioned, is the fact like, oh, but Marie, but I don't have the time to write that book. I don't have the time to completely overhaul my health. I don't have the time to go start that new career or business or whatever it is. And so this notion of really getting interested in where are we telling ourselves little lies that really are excuses that hold us back from our truest potential. And time is really one of the biggest ones that I've heard and I've used again and again and again. And here's how we want to think about this. So one of the best ways to start to live an excuse-free life is to realize that there's a major difference between two little four-letter words that can make all the difference as how we relate to time.

And here's what I mean. Most of us, we will say the words, I can't do so-and-so because I don't have the time. I can't get up early to work out. I can't make the time to go write my book. I can't seem to find the time to get my side hustle off the ground, whatever it is. And what I've seen is that can't, 99% of the time, is a euphemism for won't. What does won't mean? Won't means that we're not willing to.

Whatever that thing is that we say we can't, we don't really want to. It's not a big enough priority. We don't want to make the sacrifice. We don't want to be uncomfortable. We don't want to change our routine. And all of a sudden, whenever you're about to say the word can't, if you switch that out and use the word won't, something shifts and you feel a lot more honest. So when it comes to thinking about this word, I can't, we have to ask ourselves, why is it not a great word to use? Here's why. The moment any of us say the word can't, we start to feel like a victim. We feel restricted. We feel controlled as though there's some external authority that's holding us back from doing what we want to do. But the moment we flip that and say, well, I won't get up early because my sleep is actually more important to me right now because that's my priority.

Or I won't make the time to start my side hustle because the truth is I want to sit around and watch Netflix because that's how I'm spending my time. And you tell yourself the truth about that, all of a sudden, the moment you use the words won't, you feel empowered. You feel at choice. You feel like, yeah, that's actually what I'm doing. And it is my choice right now. There's

this freedom that comes, Hazel, when you really recognize that. And I always tell people, if you don't want to do something right now because you would rather watch Netflix at night, don't beat yourself up about that. There is nothing wrong. It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you honest. And one of the ways I called myself out on this is I remember in my mind, I was saying, oh gosh, I really wish I could learn Italian, but I can't right now. I'm just so busy, right? I've got so many things going on at work, so many things going on in my career. And yeah, you know, I just can't do it. And then when I really took a look at how I was spending my time, you want to know the truth? The truth is every night I'm watching the nightly news and then I'm watching a favorite show. At the time, it was Game of Thrones. So it wasn't that I couldn't learn Italian because I don't have the

time. It was that I was unwilling to change my habits. And so I think that there is just a lot of fun and freedom that we can have when we start playing with our language and just being willing to catch ourselves. Anytime we say the words, I can't, to just pause and check yourself before you wreck yourself. Say, is this really I can't or is it I won't and I'm not willing to? Again, it doesn't make you bad. It doesn't make you lazy. It makes you honest. And then all of a sudden in that honesty opens up some space so that you can make real choices about how to spend that most precious resource that we all have that is non-renewable called our time. And I'll say this. Each of us get the same amount, is 168 hours a week. That's it.

No more, no less. 168 hours a week. There's a certain amount that's always going to be devoted to sleep. There's a certain amount that's always going to be devoted to our basic needs of self-care, showering, eating, doing the things that we have to do to be a normal functioning human. And then for those of us who work, most of us do, there's going to be a certain amount devoted to work. But when you start to do the math on your time, and I've taken people through this exercise a lot, there's often a lot of extra time that we don't even realize is being flittered away, mostly on our phones, technology. It just gets sucked out and it leaks out in these little cracks and we don't even realize it. But when you start to do the math on your own time,

and then again, you just account for sleep, eating, showering, sleeping, working, there is still quite a bit extra to devote to our dreams, whatever they might be. And it takes living an excuse-free life and being really honest with yourself to start to recapture some of that time and reallocate it towards what's most important. Yeah, that's so powerful. And I think so eye-opening when you do reflect on where your time's going. And from personal experience earlier this year I launched a course and it took me quite a while to actually get it off the ground and you know my team were checking in all the time how close are we to launching this and I was like I just need

more time I just need more time I'm like finalizing things and I was procrastinating so hard and spending my time doing things that were not important because I was so afraid of like launching this and releasing it to the world and I realized that what was holding me back wasn't that I didn't have time it was because I was it was fear of failure fear of launching something and it not being perfect, fear of having judgment, whatever it might be. And, you know, most of them are completely irrational. But I think when it comes to goals, be that like fitness or business or life, what holds us back a lot is that fear of failure. What if I try and I don't get through it? And I wanted to talk to you about that, how if someone's kind of knows that they want

to go for something, but they're so worried they'll fail. And second to that, how do we know the difference between that fear of failure and intuition that it's not for you right now? Yeah. Let's talk about the first bit though, and then we'll get into fear versus intuition because I can give people a really tactical exercise so they can tell the difference and it works every time and involves your body wisdom. But I really want to just commend you and congratulate you for talking about the course that you launched, by the way, congratulations. Because there's so many folks

listening, I'm sure that have an idea for a project that they also would love to launch, whether it's their own course or a book or some kind of project or initiative that they've been dreaming about in their heart. And similar to you, they're like, oh, I don't have the time. I can't find the time. But the truth, if you really peel down underneath procrastination, the root is really fear, fear of failure. Sometimes we also fear success because if it works, am I going to be able to keep up with demand?

Am I going to be the person that people expect me to be? Am I going to be able to handle it? And you nailed it. The fear of criticism, the fear of judgment. For those of us who've struggled with perfectionism, again, hand raised, and I'm sure there's a lot of folks in your audience, you want it to be perfect because you've spent your whole life overachieving and hitting those A's and trying to be the best for everyone. And then when something new comes out, and especially when you've had even a little bit of success, it can feel really terrifying because you don't want to flop on your face. You don't want to disappoint people, big ego bruise, all of that. So I just want to acknowledge and appreciate you for mentioning

all that because it's the kind of stuff that we don't talk about. And when you can start to bring awareness to those kinds of fears, which again, we lie to ourselves and say, I don't have the time. And it's like, no, there's a whole lot of insecurity that's underneath it. We can take a gentle approach and we can start to soothe ourselves and guide ourselves through a way to what I like to say, starting small doesn't mean thinking small. With any project out there that you want to get out into the world, there is a way for you to not have it be this big, scary monster and to not have it be that thing where you feel like you have to get it perfect right out of the gate. And if you don't, your

entire career is going to be over or people are going to judge you. They're going to criticize you. They're going to say this thing is crap. It's not any good. And so one of the things I just want to emphasize for everyone listening is if you can relate at all to this conversation, write this down. Starting small doesn't mean thinking small. Find some small way to start taking action on your dream and to lower the expectations of how great it has to do right out of the gate. You know, beta experiences are kind of awesome for online courses. Finding a small way, like rather than doing, I'm going to launch a year-long coaching program. It's like, can you do a week-long coaching program instead? All things like that.

So those are just a couple of fun tips to consider if you find yourself being stuck in that place of fear and procrastination. Now let's move on to your question about how do we tell the difference between fear and intuition? And I love talking about this because there's so many times in life that an opportunity will come before us. Maybe it's an invitation to go speak at a conference. Maybe it's an opportunity to get promoted. Or there's a collaboration that you might be able to do with someone. Or it's a relationship opportunity that comes in. And oftentimes in these circumstances, our ego is being fed. Someone wants us. There's this

interesting thing, and it might have prestige or money or visibility that's attached to it. And on paper, it looks good. It looks amazing. When you talk to your friends about it, they're all like, you should say yes to this. This is the most incredible opportunity in the world. But something in you is unsure. And this is a place where most of us can get confused because we're like, gosh, is this my imposter syndrome piping up? Is this me afraid to kind of step out and be the bigger me? Is this me not sure if I can handle that spotlight or stepping into this level of greatness or opportunity? Or is this

my intuition telling me that this is maybe not the best thing for me? Even though it looks good on paper, even though everyone says you should be so lucky, you should be so happy, you should jump on this thing. There's something in you that's not wanting to sign the contract or not wanting to reply to the text. And so being able to tell the difference between that natural fear of growth and your intuitive signals telling you to hold back is really important. And here's the test that anyone can do at any point. It doesn't cost you anything. And it really does lead you and guide you into the right direction.

So what you need to do is get into a nice, quiet place. Ideally, you don't have any technology around you. Someplace you can be peaceful and alone, even if you have to go into your bathroom, go into your bedroom, where it's nice and silent. You think about the opportunity that's before you and you imagine yourself saying yes, right? So you imagine yourself going for this thing, signing the contract, doing the collaboration, going on the state, whatever it may be. And you ask yourself this question, close your eyes and say, in this instant, does the idea of saying yes to this make me feel expansive or contracted? And I guarantee you in the nanosecond after you genuinely ask yourself that question,

there's going to be a visceral response. Now, some people feel this as, for example, expansion is like their chest lifts up, their shoulders relax. It's as though their heart center opens and their physical body moves forward in space. Some other people receive that answer in the form of like an image in their mind where it says expansive, or maybe they see clouds or sky or galaxy or just some light that they feel that they want to move forward in space to. If you get the opposite, a contracted signal, you might actually feel your shoulders crunch in. You might feel a heaviness in your belly, almost a pit in your stomach, or your whole body starts to kind of

ball up and move back into space. Or maybe you just find that your head gently shakes no, or you just start pulling back, or you see some kind of image of a little bit of darkness or something that doesn't feel very pleasant. The reason I'm describing all of this is because most of us don't realize how much internal wisdom we already have within us and our instincts, our intuition, our gut instinct. It wants to speak to us all the time, but we're usually so caught up in our mind or so busy asking other people what they think that we completely ignore the signals that are coming from within. And so this notion of asking yourself, does the idea of saying yes to this make me feel expansive or contracted? It is an awesome way to hear your

own natural knowing and let that guide you on the decision. I love that. It's so important. Like you said, there's so much internal wisdom and it's very easy to be distracted or feel because something's a big opportunity, exciting, or maybe exciting for other people, then you should say yes, because who would be crazy enough to say no? But not everything will feel good to you. And that's something that I'm learning to practice with saying no and trying to say yes to more things that do give me that expansive feeling. Yes. And again, some of this won't make sense. And in our world, that has conditioned us really to constantly want to climb and get ahead. And you know, our egos are fed in some degree by the attention that we get from others or being desired or wanted. And of course,

you know, money and prestige, those can be really attractive carrots for all of us. And it can take a lot of courage, a lot of courage and a lot of self-conviction to tap in. And if you get that contracted feeling for some reason to be able to say, you know what, thank you so much for this opportunity, but I'm going to pass on it right now. But I will tell you, Hazel, in like over 22 years of doing what I've done, the times when I have disobeyed my own internal wisdom, it has cost me so much, so much, the pain and the stress and the angst and recognizing that I was saying yes to something again, because I was saying it out of a fear of missing out or fear of missing an opportunity or fear of not getting ahead or something like that.

And it created so much havoc. So that's why I love passing along this little tool because each of us, I believe, are our own wisest advisors, but we haven't had any training in how to listen to that internal wisdom. And that's just a really simple practice. And I've also heard people say like, Marie, I don't know, I don't feel anything. That's usually a great opportunity for people to get in deeper touch with their bodies. Like you

might need to go for a walk around the block just for 10 minutes in nature, or maybe do some stretching and not listen to a gajillion podcast or have social media coming in and out of your ears. Like get really quiet and still because there is incredible wisdom within your body and it's always trying to speak to you, but we need to get still enough and quiet enough sometimes to listen. Yeah. Those moments of clarity are never when you are sitting at your desk or sitting over the laptop or a piece of paper. It's always like washing your hair or doing something super mundane or being completely free out in the open with your mind undistracted. Yes. And Dr. Hazel, can I give your listeners one more question that can help them? So I want everyone to write this

one down. Does this give me life? Does the idea of saying yes to this, give me life. That's just another frame and another way in. Cause usually a project or an opportunity, like for me, there's times when I've said yes to things that I am absolutely terrified of. Like meaning I have no idea how I'm going to accomplish it, but the idea of saying yes to it, a hundred percent gives me life. So I can be terrified. I can be insecure. I can be insecure. I can be full of self-doubt. I can say, I don't know, but I know everything is figureoutable. And the notion of moving ahead with this gives my body so much life. It sounds like so much fun. Even if I fall on my face, which I probably will, I'm going to learn so much in the process

where there's other times where again, stuff slides in and it's like, everyone's like, this is, this sounds great, great opportunity, great money. And I'm like, oh, I want to go to sleep. Like I'm tired already. This sounds like, but just no, just no. And I think that's one of the awesome things for every listener. One of the joys of getting older is how much more in tune you are and how much more honest you are about how valuable your time is. And you start getting closer and closer to realize like, wow, you know, I have this beautiful life. It's not going to last forever. And I am done saying yes to things that I'm dreading already. I'm done putting dates and appointments in my calendar that I'm already like, why the hell did I say yes to that?

It's like, no, get that out of there. Completely agree. I have a friend, Adrienne, she's author of The Power Hour and she always says, Hazel, more is not more. And I always think of her in my head when we're booking up jobs or there's more podcasts or more um kind of webinars and talks to do and I always hear her in my ear Hazel Moore is not more because I love

doing all those things but it doesn't make time for the things that bring you life and so it's finding that balance it is finding that balance and you know there's this great saying I didn't say this but it was um in a conversation somewhere, you know, art imitates life. And in order for you to be a great artist, which is what you are and what I am and what so many of your listeners are, you have to have a life as well. You do. And it's just, we've been so enculturated to only prize achievement and only associate. It kind of goes back to where we started. Like, we've almost

associated ourselves, like we should be on 24 seven, this 24 seven, three 65 culture that we live in constant content, constant engagement, constant creation, constant putting out more, more, more. And as your friend so wisely said, more is not always more for me. It's like more is not better. And bigger dreams aren't even necessarily better dreams. They're going to shift and change with the seasons and stages of your life. And one of my favorite phrases that I would invite you and anyone else to use whenever it's appropriate, simplify to amplify. Sometimes when we want to grow our businesses, we actually need to do less so that we can

reach higher in our lives. Sometimes we need less physical clutter and less things around us to amplify the spaciousness that we feel or to have that psychic and emotional bandwidth that we need to create what's new. And even when we're in a state of transition, maybe you've been in one part of your life or career

and that was beautiful and you loved it and you can feel that something new is wanting to be born within you, it doesn't happen overnight. There is a period of re-fertilization. And in that period, you can't fill it with busyness or static and expect to give birth to something new or become that next best version of who you're meant to be. And I don't think we talk enough about that in our culture of the value of rest and of spaciousness and that notion of simplify to amplify. You know, I love to garden. We were talking off camera before we came on. I'm heading out to a home that we have that's near the ocean

and we have beautiful gardens and I love plants. And one of the most important concepts to have a really beautiful, luscious garden is this idea of pruning. So pruning is the notion that if you have a big bush and it's got gorgeous flowers on it or an awesome tree and it's growing really tall, that sometimes you have to cut some of the branches if you actually want to keep that bush or that tree healthy and vibrant. Because if it's spindling out in too many directions, there's not enough energy to make everything really full and vibrant. But if you're courageous enough to cut it back and give it a little bit of time to rest,

what then is reborn is so much more luscious and strong and healthy. I get a lot of questions from people who are mostly women who are pivoting in their career, be that they're looking for a career change or they're just starting their careers and what they're doing doesn't feel right for them. And so very different to what we spoke about in the beginning where there's people who are very clear on their goals and they're just a bit afraid or they're holding back on achieving them. What advice do you have for people who are unclear

about what their goals are, what their purpose is, and they're trying to find those answers and that inner wisdom? Yeah, it's a really challenging place to be in and I've been there several times in my life where I've felt myself in this kind of transitional phase and unclear on what I should be focused on next. And my own experience was I felt like I was in a torture chamber because I felt like time was passing me by so fast and that everyone else seemed to know exactly what they were doing and they had all of this focus and all of this drive and I was kind of just hanging out in space or falling behind. So I resonate very deeply with how angsty that feeling can be. There's a few things that can help. One is that if you start practicing bringing passion, so let me just back up and just state something. We've all, I think, been sold a lie that you have to find your passion, meaning you have to go out and be an explorer

and go discover something outside of yourself that's going to all of a sudden light you up, right? And you're going to go discover it like a treasure. And then you're like, oh, I found my passion and I'm off. And what I've seen is actually the opposite, is that passion is something that you cultivate from within, and then you bring it to your life. And all of a sudden, if you develop this habit of being a pretty passionate person, and again, not 24-7, 365, so you're a maniac, but I just mean you train yourself in bringing that attitude and that energy to the small things in your life, all of a sudden it's as though this channel opens up inside of you and you have more access to understanding

and knowledge and wisdom. And so let me tell you a real concrete example of how this happened in my own life. So there was a time after I had failed at so many corporate jobs before I started my business and I knew I wanted to have this beautiful coaching business. And this was like back in the late 90s, early 2000s. So like over 20 years ago. But I didn't, I wasn't earning enough money yet to keep a roof over my head. And I was living in New York City, expensive place. And so I was bartending and waiting tables during the day while I was figuring out how to build a coaching practice.

And I was doing all of that work at night. And I remember being behind the bar and feeling so angry and frustrated because I knew I was meant for more, but that was not happening yet, right? That was not my reality. And I had this big aha moment. And I was like, you know, I spend most of my time behind the bar and waiting tables. And my attitude was so crappy. Like this isn't it. I shouldn't be doing this anymore. I'm better than that. Like I was just angry and upset and like, this isn't my life. What's going on? What's wrong with me? And I realized that I was practicing being miserable. Like literally based on, you know, 24 hours a day,

I'm sleeping eight of them. I'm working another eight bartending and waiting tables. And during those eight hours, I'm constantly thinking I wasn't where I should be by now. Now, what was that doing? I was training my brain and training my emotional health to be in a state of misery. And then I was going to expect to spend like two or three hours at home, all of a sudden flipping a switch and being passionate about my coaching practice and this new business I was trying to build. That is not realistic. Not to mention, I realized that that kind of miserable, angsty, complaining Marie that I was being eight hours a day, it made me exhausted because anytime you're resisting your current reality,

it's misery making, right? And all of that, it drains your energy. And so I started a little experiment with myself. I said, you know what? I'm going to show up at the bar and pretend like I've got the best job in the world and I'm going to really bring the passion as much as I could. Now I was not perfect at it. Do you know what I mean? But this was my, it was like almost my spiritual practice. And so when people would come in, it was like a whole new Marie was showing up at the bar and I was really like making the best martinis and like putting out the little placemat and telling them all about the specials and just bringing that same Marie who I envisioned to be this powerful coach. She was showing up even when she was restocking all of the wine bottles.

She was showing up right when she was serving the spaghetti. She was showing up at the end of the shift when she needed to wipe down everything. And I will tell you the most miraculous thing happened for me. My passion became a habit. My enthusiasm, it opened up so many creative channels for me and I started getting more clear like, oh, this is what I need to focus on. Oh, this is what I should do. It's like the ideas and the crystallization and the focus started to happen as a by-product of how I was being. And so it's just a little suggestion for anyone is just to start practicing being passionate with all the little things. Like if you're going to get some yogurt in the morning, in the morning for yourself, like make the most passionate little yogurt bowl

ever. Like, like, like you're a professional. Do you know what I'm saying? If you've got to vacuum your living room and you're like, I don't really, it's like, no, I'm going to turn this beat around. You're going to be the most passionate vacuumer. And I say that because when you are in that state of being where you're engaging with life exactly as it is, and like you're meant to be there, it changes something neurobiologically. It changes something in how your emotional state is showing up every single day. And there is a creative channel that opens that you start to get the clarity, not to mention for me as well, my interactions with people changed and opportunities started coming my way. And people are like, what else do you do?

Are you an actress? I'm like, no, I'm a coach. And I was getting all these people on my newsletter list because who I was being was showing up differently. My world started showing up differently. And, you know, like when you went through that transition and when people are going through a pivot in their life, how do you deal with, do you, did you worry about what will other people think? What will my peers think? What will my friends think? Of course. A hundred percent. And that's, I think, our egos and our fears of what others will think of us, especially when we're not at our peaks, when we have decided like, oh, you know, I'm not the most powerful version of me. I don't have it all together right now. I've either quit my job or I've left my job or this business didn't work out the way I version of me. I don't have it all together right now. I've either quit my job or I've left my job or this business didn't work out the way I thought it would. And I'm not yet

clear on what my next move should be. Those voids that we have in our life from an ego perspective, they're terrible. But if we can surrender into that and to remember, I like to think about a farming analogy. If you farm the same land over and over and over again, and you never rotate the crops and you never give the soil a chance to regenerate, it dies, right? So there's no more nutrients in the soil. You've just, you've run it dry. It's just, it's not fertile anymore. And in our lives, spiritually, we know this again, the ego, when it takes over, that's the thing that tortures us. But if you surrender and just ask for some wisdom and really tap in, and if you know like, oh, this is a transition period for me, this is a period for me of re-fertilization,

I may need to find some new inspiration. I may need to test out a few new things and not pressure myself to figure it out right away. I may need to have the grace to give myself a bridge job for a little while. If I need money coming in, I mean to be humble and to take that job at whatever store or organization that's just going to help me keep my finances in order until I have the clarity I need to make that next move. I think that of course it's going to feel scary. Of course your ego is going to kick and scream. But I would invite you to ask, is there a deeper part of you that knows that you might need a break and that you might need you be in this transition right now and to have a little

bit of trust? You know, you cannot rush clarity. You cannot. It's just like if you planted a little seed in the ground and you planted that bulb in the fall and then all winter long, you're like digging it up. Like where's my flower? Where's my, like it'll never come up. But if you plant that little seed or that little bulb and you have it safely in the soil and it's in the right environment and there's sunshine and there's water and you have patience in the spring, what's going to start coming up from the ground is the most beautiful plant that you can imagine. The most beautiful flower is going to bloom. But if you got so impatient, you were digging around, you would have killed it. Yeah, I hear you. I feel like I struggle with this because I agree with you. I think when you've got space, it breeds clarity and it's so important. But I think for someone like me, I run the risk of waiting too long and holding

off until like, it's perfect. And I think you say this in your book, like start before you're ready. Oh yeah. And there's also, there's one more thing too. So yeah, having that space is cool. And then there's two things we'll talk about. Start before you're ready. And we'll talk about clarity comes from engagement, not thought. So let's say that you're like, okay, got space, cool, but I need to start doing things. The notion is clarity comes from engagement, not thought. So what does that mean? Let's say you have an inclination of something that you want to go explore or something that you might want to be or something that you think is cool.

Can you find a way to go dip your toe in the water and do it in a low stakes way? Is there a class you can take? Is there someplace you can volunteer on the weekend? Is there a way that you can get involved in this thing to see if your idea is actually, oh my gosh, I would love this. And this is the thing that you want to devote the next chapter of your life to. Or if you dip your toe in the water and you're like, oh, this was a cool idea. Maybe it's a hobby, but I don't want this to be my career or I don't want this to be my business. So clarity comes from engagement, not thought. Only means go find low stakes ways to test whatever you think might be your next gig, your next career, your next business. And then starting before you're ready, this is a great way if you're like,

I kind of know what I want to do, but I'm terrified to do it wrong, right? So that's a different state. So starting before you're ready is one of the best ways to train yourself when you're in a season of production and when you're in a season of like, let's go, like let's make something happen. It's a great way to bypass your perfectionism. You know, all of us can feel like we're not ready to make that next big leap into our career. We're not ready to launch that course, write that book, start making our videos on YouTube, start our podcast. We don't know enough.

We don't have the right certifications. What if people judge us? Don't worry about that. Start Before You're Ready is about getting your butt out there, doing it imperfectly, and letting yourself gain confidence, skills, and really credibility as you go. I completely agree. Because I think it is, you know, a lot of that will come with experience. And while I do think, obviously, that, you know, my line of work credentials is really important the only way that you're gonna

get out there is when you do start and I think you know there's so many people who listen to this podcast who are interested in you know getting into nutrition or perhaps pivoting into health care or they want to they are a nutritionist and they want to grow on social media and one of the things that I often hear is, hey, like I'm really interested in doing this or this has really inspired me, but it's all been done before or I'm not unique enough. I don't have anything different to bring to the table. And then they just park it because someone else has done it and they've done it better and they did it before me. So I shouldn't do it. Yeah I'd love to hear what's your kind of, what would you say to that? Oh gosh, yes. That's probably one of the biggest excuses

we all use to hold ourselves back is it's all been done before. It's all been said before. And one of the things I always like to share, you know, I'm Italian American and I absolutely love a good eggplant parm. And so ask yourself this, like if you have a favorite food that you love, you know, I'm here in New York City, right? There is probably 1,200 if not 2,000 different Italian restaurants just in Manhattan alone. But there's one place called Pepe Rosso who I think has one of the best eggplant parms in the city. And I often think to myself, can you imagine if Pepe Rosso, when they started their business, they were like, oh, there's already 2000 Italian places in New York city. Like we're not going to put eggplant parm on the menu because everybody

else has already got that handled. There would be so much joy that I would miss out on in my life if they didn't put their eggplant parm on the damn menu. Same thing. Could you imagine if Beyonce, who I just saw her in concert, like last week, could you imagine if she was like, there are so many pop singers out there, like they've got it handled. We would have missed out on so much. And so for everyone listening, it's like, yeah, there are lots of folks out there, but there's also 9 billion people on the planet. You or I is never going to be at, we're never going to be able to reach all the people in the world. All of the health coaches right now able to reach all the people in the world. All of the health coaches right now that exist or people that are in the kind of advice,

nutrition, fitness, that umbrella, still not enough of us giving these messages out based on what we know about the statistics, about the shape that we're all in, our metabolic health, our fitness, levels of depression, anxiety, all that we're clearly not doing it right. So we need more voices. So I think that that notion that it's all been said or done before is really just one of those excuses that can hold us back from sharing our gifts with the world. No one has your voice. No one has your experience. No one has your exact story. And if you don't get your butt out there and start sharing what you need to share, you are stealing from those who need you most. And I do mean stealing because right now I guarantee there are thousands,

if not hundreds of thousands or millions of people who can't hear it. As amazing as Dr. Hazel is, for whatever reason, she's not their person. Just like for me, when I talk about time management or starting a business, I'm not their person. But there's someone else out there who says it in the perfect way at that perfect moment that really lights it up for someone else. And so, yeah, that's what I've got to say about that. I think that it's all been said or done before. It's like, who cares?

It's like, add your voice to it because there really are people that need you right now oh that's so powerful such a powerful way to wrap up the podcast but before you go i'd love to finish with three questions um you're our first guest of the season so you're the first person to get asked these questions no pressure um it's just a quick round and a bit more about you but the first question is if you had an extra hour in the day, how would you spend it? I actually came up with this question thinking of you. Extra hour in the day, how would I spend it? A portion of it would be more time with my best friend. We have calls almost every week and we have such a good time together. A portion of it would be taking walks with my partner, Josh. We love

walking wherever we are and just like catching up on our day. And I think another portion would be cooking. I love cooking. Like it's one of my favorite things to do is to try new recipes and to create delicious food. I love that. And the next question is, if you're going to a desert island, what three things are you bringing with you? Concealer, music. I'm Italian American. Are you kidding me? Like, I think I was born with dark circles under my eyes. So concealer comes with me everywhere.

Music, because music and we need to dance. And snacks, like healthy snacks. You know what I mean? Like if I have concealer, music, snacks, ideally I'd have a person. So I'd probably try and snuggle in, you know, Josh with me. But if it was like three object-y kind of things, concealer, music, and snacks. I love how you're putting a whole category of snacks as your shared item. Just all of the snacks. All of the snacks.

I love that. And finally, I know it's the start of your day, but what's one thing that you're grateful for today? One thing I am grateful for today is actually waking up and seeing that Josh had taken really good care of me last night. I just happened to have this killer headache, which I don't usually have often. And I woke up and I saw all the ways that he had cleaned up and took care of me last night. I just happened to have this killer headache, which I don't usually have often. And I woke up and I saw all the ways that he had cleaned up and took care of me because I needed to hit the bed early. And it was just one of the sweetest things. Oh, that's so lovely. Well, thank you so much for the most inspiring conversation. What a way to like open the season and where can we send people to find out more about you to find out more about your work to get involved with your work and get more amazing content like you've shared today

i am at marie forleo on all of the socials um including instagram tiktok all that good stuff marieforleo.com so it's m-a-r-i-e-f-oR-L-E-O dot com. We've got a great free training there called How to Get Anything You Want. It gives you three keys to start bringing your dreams to life with clarity and confidence. So it's a totally free download. And yeah, we've got, I think, over 500 or 600 episodes of MarieTV and the

Marie Forleo podcast. So all different kinds of conversations and Q&As and different pieces of content to keep people inspired and motivated. Thank you so much for your time today. Have the best weekend gardening and your workout classes. Oh, thank you so much. That was so fun. What an incredible episode. I hope you're feeling as inspired as I am after that. And if you're hungry for more, make sure to check out Marie's latest book, Everything is Figureoutable, available now. But before you go, I would

love if you could take two minutes to rate the podcast and share it with someone you know will benefit from it too. That's all from me. See you again next time.