The Food Medic - S3 E10 - Mental Health with Fearne Cotton.

Episode Date: September 10, 2019

Welcome back to #TheFoodMedicPodcast. On the final episode of season 3, Dr. Hazel visits Fearne Cotton in her home to chat all about her experience with mental health - the highs, the lows and everything in between. Resources mentioned in the podcast:1.Mind - https://www.mind.org.uk/2.Happy Place - http://www.officialfearnecotton.com/happy-place*Warning: contains explicit language* Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There you are, pushing your newborn baby in a stroller through the park. The first time out of the house in weeks. You have your Starbucks, then tea, because, you know, sleep deprivation. You meet your best friend, she asks you how it's going, you immediately begin to laugh. Then cry, then laugh-cry, that's totally normal, right? She smiles, you hug, there's no one else you'd rather share this with. You know, three and a half hours sleep is more than enough. Starbucks, it's never just coffee.

Why do fintechs like Float choose Visa? As a more trusted, more secure payments network, Visa provides scale, expertise, and innovative payment solutions. Learn more at visa.ca slash fintech. Hello, and a very big welcome back to the Food Medic podcast. I'm your host, as always, Dr. Hazel Wallace. I'm an NHS doctor, soon to be nutritionist and founder of the Food Medic, which is an educational platform discussing nutrition and other aspects of health. Okay, guys, so sadly, this is the last show of season three and while I have absolutely loved every episode so far this may be my favorite because I got to interview a woman who I've looked up to and admired for a very long time. It's Fern Cotton. Fern is a mother,

broadcaster, writer, podcast host and founder of Happy Place. Fern has been presenting live TV since the age of 15 when she was spotted by ITV's Disney Club and since then she has presented on a number of TV shows, her most recent being Interior Design Masters and before you guys ask her house is gorgeous. Fern is also really well known for her days on Radio 1 where she presented for an incredible 10 years. In addition to presenting Fern has also written many cookbooks and also books related to mental health and also happiness. Her best-selling book Happy draws on her own experiences to provide practical tips on finding joy in the everyday. Fern is also a mother of two and a wife and continues to find time to support a range of charities. Now before I invite you into Fern's home it's time to share this week's

listener question which is Hazel I often suffer from cystitis is there anything I can do or any foods I can eat to help prevent this? Now if you're interested to know the answer to this question then make sure to stay tuned to the end of the show. Okay guys let's go meet Fern. Okay so Fern the reason that I really wanted you to come on this podcast was really to share your experience with mental health. I know that you've been really open about it online which is something that I guess we didn't have a couple of years ago people weren't really open to sharing those experiences and I think that's really important so from your perspective I'd love to hear like when it all started when you realized what was happening and noticed that

something was wrong and kind of what you did to take steps to look after yourself well i don't think at first i knew what was going on like most people i don't think you go oh wait there i'm having a depressive episode or whatever i just think you're so lost in whatever it is that um you usually need or hope that there'll be some kind of intervention and I was very lucky that I had that in a great friend of mine who I work with he just said look this is getting ridiculous you know because I was calling her all the time saying I can't cope and crying and all sorts of stuff and she was just amazing and she's someone that I don't see all the time but I will forever thank for being like a true friend who's not scared to go wait up this is insane now this is like not normal and I'm gonna do something about it and

she booked me to see a private doctor that she knew because she wanted me to go that day I had no clue what was going on I just got in her car went with her and had a really great chat with this doctor who very quickly diagnosed that I was in a depression at that point and I'd never been on any kind of long-term medication but he suggested to try antidepressants and I thought well I at that point I had no other options I didn't think I did I mean they're of course always options but I didn't feel like I had any others so that for me was kind of just a little elevation from how bad I was feeling and I didn't think it would be a permanent thing but I was certainly you know up for giving it a go and just to get out of that

funk and um and and it did and I feel very grateful for that friend because she really stepped up big time yeah and I think often it's that first step of just admitting to yourself and and to someone either whether it's a doctor or like a friend to just say put your hand up and say I'm having a tough time and it's not always you know some big life change or something like terrible has happened it can be just like you know kind of carrying on in the background so after you went to see the doctor did you take steps to like alter your life in any way or kind of like find ways that you could manage your symptoms yeah that kind of came find ways that you can manage your symptoms yeah that kind of came later I think antidepressants gave me a chance to just get my head above the

ground for a bit um you know some people are on them for life and that's absolutely perfect for them some people don't even want to go anywhere near them it's such a bespoke thing so I'm it's always difficult to sort of talk about it but my own experience and there's no wrong or right I went on them and it gave me a little chance to breathe for a minute where I felt completely like I was just drowning in it and I guess during that time I was probably only on them for about four months that was enough time for me to go right I really need to make some changes here and I've got to make some big ones and that came in many forms changing how I work and my priorities and I'm still doing that I don't think I was like right I'm going to do this this and this and then everything's going to be fine I think you know so often these stories are I I had depression, I did this, and now I feel brilliant.

You know, I took antidepressants, I've made a load of changes, I'm still making a load of changes now, I probably will be forever. And I think you're constantly trying to get that balance to feel okay daily. I don't think there's a final result. And I feel all right at the moment. But, you know, I've still had ups and downs not as drastic as that one but you know sort of ups and downs where I've felt fine great and then pretty awful again but I do things now like I have a regular therapist and I mean I I found one privately but there are I do a lot of work with mind obviously and there's a lot I recently one of my friends lost his brother one of my relatives actually lost his brother and I said look you've got to get in touch with mind and just see what help they can offer and

he's been having regular counselling through them so you know it doesn't have to be that you pay somebody and you go and see obviously there's lots of different ways of doing it and I feel really fortunate that I um that I do that but it's really important that I do I really need it I don't really enjoy it I don't think it's always got to be for like SOS moments it can just be for getting through life's bonkers I mean just getting through life and learning about yourself is the main thing yeah and I think you what you mentioned there is really important because we we often focus on therapy or treatment when something's happened yeah but actually we we should be focusing on it to help us stay healthy and I know that you have like lots of daily practices that kind of I guess you have in your toolbox to help you stay on top of those symptoms and just kind of keep calm and happy.

So what are some of those practices? I know like yoga or even walking into the house today, it smells gorgeous, like candles. Yeah, so yoga is definitely one. I've been, I haven't been in a huge depression like that for a long time. I've had like little bumps, but my thing is still, actually I haven't been in a huge depression like that for a long time. I've had like little bumps, but my thing is still, actually I haven't had a panic attack in quite a while, thank God, because I hate having them, obviously. But I know that they're still bubbling under somewhere,

waiting to jump out. I can feel it. And I think I'll know when that's hopefully sorted out and I've got a grasp on that. But my sleep's terrible terrible terrible I'll go through good patches but I get into really weird mental patterns so at the moment I have got this stupid neurosis where I have to go to bed before my husband and I need to fall asleep before he can come downstairs because I've got this weird panic of him coming down

and waking me up. So that makes me not be able to go to sleep. I mean, it doesn't make any sense. It's so silly. But my brain is constantly on the go and I find it really hard to just slow down and give myself a break. So I give myself a really hard time all the time.

So I'm really prone to any weird stuff like this i've had loads of stuff like probably mild forms of ocd and in senses as well with how i think about things and go about my day but this is like my new great one i've got going on so to help with that it has been yoga i've been doing really gentle yoga before i go to bed at night nothing crazy just in just in the house, just for my breathing, really. I do a lot of online meditations before bed. Sometimes I'll have a bath and read, you know, just, I rarely go out because I know how badly it affects me. And I don't want to always be like that. You know, I think I'll get my mojo back as my kids get older and my life is a bit calmer I mean I'm in the thick of like juggling work kids family stuff going on you know it's

relentless I think it will naturally all just simmer down but at the moment I have to be quite boring and disciplined so that I do the basics like sleep all right and um it's not fun it's not like cool or fun but um that's what I've got to do at the moment yeah well when you've got so many like just stimuli daily stimuli you have to find something that like tones down that sympathetic response that you're probably constantly in yeah I mean it's no um surprise that you're completely like trying to keep your head above water when it comes to those types of periods of your life but like you said it's not all the time yeah it's just there's times where you need to kind of keep things in check I guess totally totally and in one of your books I was reading your list of things that make you happy

and they're really really simple things like your son's dimples or your husband's jokes and I love that because I think when it comes to self-care and things that make us happy we automatically and or maybe this is just how it's sold to us in the media but it seems to be like very expensive things like we're like very indulgent spa treatments and and things like that when actually sometimes it can be as simple as I don't know having your breakfast with your family or going for a walk I mean I couldn't tell you the last I went to a bloody spa I don't even I haven't got a clue and that doesn't happen in my life and I'm not interested in it you know if

someone you know I work on the telly I get offered free facials I don't go to any of them I've got a million things I'd rather do than sit there with someone prodding my face it just doesn't do anything for me I know through trial and error what works yeah and it is always the simple stuff and I think it's the same for most people but as you say we are indoctrinated probably culturally to think that it's all this other stuff you know having the perfect the perfect just so silly the perfect job the perfect partner it doesn't make any difference you have to find your things in the day it'll be different for everyone but that's our simple and usually always free that make you feel good. And for me, it is getting outside.

I love walking, running, just being in the park with the kids, knowing I've stepped out and seen the world that day and done something. Luckily, I love my job. So challenging myself is really important and trying new things and scaring myself a bit. And that's free because you can do that in loads of different ways uh being creative is a huge one for me even if it's like baking a cake it hasn't got to be like designing a masterpiece you know making a cake with my kids or deciding i'm going to decorate a room in the house and planning that in my head just like creative thoughts make me feel good yeah exercise eating well cooking from scratch

being with great people the one I've learned recently is not being scared to let some people go in your life because I think I've more recently gone oh my god either this friendship is drifting or this person doesn't really call me anymore maybe I'm not fun and or maybe I'm really negative or you know worrying about all this stuff and just going well I don't need millions of friends let's just see the good ones will always stick around even if I didn't leave my house in a year they would be there and I know who they are so not having that fear has been a real source of I guess it's never joy but like contentment and acceptance like my book can be misleading in a way because of the title but you know I'm not a person that's desperate to feel happy all the time I just want to feel okay

and that's what the book is the book is a book about depression and it's a book about looking at how you you know have acceptance and contentment it's not about like being euphoric all the time because that's unrealistic and also sets you up for a massive fall every time you get out of bed I just want to feel okay and then everything's all right yeah absolutely and do you think that your experience well I mean most likely your experience with mental health has like put you on a different path in terms of the books that you've written and now you've got a podcast that's been really successful and you've had lots of people on there who have also shared their experiences from doing the podcast who's been your your favorite guest or what's been

your favorite I guess takeaway from it I know I love John French's episode oh she was I have to thank Dawn massively because she was the first person that said yes she was like yes but only if you come to my house in Cornwall I was like what's the downside I'm there so it was I was so lucky but I don't know they've all been lovely in their own way because you know even if it's been friends that I've been interviewing I've got to sort of sit and have a chat that I wouldn't normally have with them like Chris Hellinger who's one of my great mates who's the founder of the charity Copperfield you know we have some pretty great chats and we'll be very honest with each other.

And I've been to hospital appointments with her and whatnot, but I had never sat down and really talked about life and death with her because I don't want to bring that up just willy nilly and hope that, you know, she's cool with that. So it had to be, she wanted to do the podcast.

I was over the moon. She wanted to do the podcast I was over the moon she wanted to do it and we created a nice environment for that chat to take place and I'd never had that with her before so it's been really lovely personally on a lot of moments and that one was a really beautiful episode and there's been some really surprising ones, ones where, like, coming up in the next series, I just did Jada Pinkett Smith. And I was so nervous thinking all of the stupid things we all think. Oh, she's not going to like me. I'm probably not going to come across like very cool or smart. And it's going to be a disaster.

I was being really negative. And she was so lovely. And we just had a really decent chat. And she was just like a mum, a working mum sat in front of me who had loads of stuff going on and worries and all sorts of things and she was just lovely and I really wasn't expecting it I thought she'd be like Hollywood movie star vibes didn't have the time of day for me but we just connected on a the basis that we're two women sat there talking about life and those moments I almost forget what I'm doing and like that I'm there to go through this conversation and to try

and hit x y and said I was just sort of in this lovely bubble of me and her locking in and it was just beautiful I loved it so I'm really excited to put that one out yeah it's interesting how you say that because I imagine a lot of people look at you and think oh I'm sure like Fern has it all together and everything's wonderful but one thing I love about your social media is that you try to break down that barrier and you're not painting a picture for what you you want people to think your life is it's a load of shit it is in every case like'm going at my phone now and i could go and find five instagram accounts that i follow where their lives look insane like not just sort of great but like amazing and i'd put money on the fact that they've got shit going on yeah they've got a

relative they're not talking to that they're stressed about something in their life that something physically doesn't feel great that they're concerned about the future that they're regretting something in the past doesn't mitigate any of that but we are fooled to believe so and that's the huge cultural myth that all of us need to be mindful of even if you're not posting a realistic vision of yourself there's nothing wrong with that doesn't matter you know if that's your thing cool but as observers of it and people that are digesting it we have to take responsibility for the fact that we know it deep down it's not real we can't point fingers and blame and go you only post pictures where you look amazing well maybe that makes them feel good how does

it make you feel bad don't follow them or follow them but look at it objectively it's it's so simple but we all get I mean I get trapped in it sometimes I think oh god that person seems to have it all together and I'm like whoa I'm falling for it again I've fallen for the myth so you know I'm not like posting every minute of my day on there realistically but hopefully the posts are varied enough to give a little bit of what I do at work which I love a bit of my very chaotic home life and you know some other bits in between and you know hopefully that connects with people and you have like an incredibly large following on social media so with that do you feel the pressure of all those eyes on you or you you know, comments that random people make, even if it's a passing comment, whether it's good or bad? Do you feel that or do you just let it roll off your back?

Both. So if it's a post where I have no makeup on and I'm just doing my thing, I think, you know what, that's a really nice real image to put out there. I truly don't care what people think. If someone says you look dog rough you look old your face looks whatever I don't care because I am me I can't do anything about that yeah so that's that but I am wary of if I post something and I don't know it's about work or I have an opinion on something and people start you know saying stuff that's either not true or trying to go for an angle that isn't there you know you've got these like weird sort of Instagram

police out there who are regular people who are just looking for something to moan about so so it's a bit of both some stuff I really don't care and it's things that I know are authentically true about myself but if it's something where I reckon someone's going to have a pop and a dig because they've got an opinion about it and I don't feel strong enough I'm not going to put it up yeah no I completely agree I think I have quite a large platform but nothing on the level that you have and when I'm going through really stressful times like just finishing my master's I just felt like I didn't have the energy to argue not even argue but deal with comments whether it's good or bad and the constant kind of people expect you because you're online to always be there to give them an answer to what they say whether it's just a statement or a question

or an insult because you've said something that they deemed was offensive yeah um especially with what you do because everyone's so opinionated about what they believe is right or wrong medically and it's such a debate to get into and I I think for you that's a really tough one and people will always have their own opinion it is really tough we all need to remember that we all think differently but I think it does still hurt or affect you or you know you're you know although you've got masters and all this stuff going on you're a human who has feelings and emotions and you have delicate days and then you have robust days and I think people don't really think that they just think oh you're not even a human I'm just going to say like I had one woman last night go you know I've cut all my hair off now but I had super long hair last summer oh is your hair ethically sourced

is it even yours and i was like you know what i'm not having that yes it is my bloody hair that is my hair don't have a go at me about the fact that i had long hair last year and i've now cut it off this is not some sort of poor russian girl's hair that i've clipped in yeah so sometimes i do get a little bit like no not taking that not even having anybody else think that what she said is true um it doesn't really matter but I just think sometimes I do want to tell people what's what and go no that's not the case no absolutely I completely agree with you and when it comes to like social media and technology what's your relationship like with it and is it something that you try to like not really have like prevalent in the home like in your family life? I wish I could say that was the case no I

think you know when I'm with the kids I try not to go on it if I've got to post something quickly for work I might go on my phone if I've got to do some emails and they're eating their dinner I'll quickly do them but but you know we're big on our house on art and drawing and the kids are really big on making stuff so more often than not we're baking or we're making things or whatever but I'm a working freelancer at the end of the day so if I've got to fire off some emails and they're eating their dinner I'm gonna do it because no one else is gonna do it so I have to juggle it and just know what feels right to me on that day and sometimes I'm disciplined and it's good and sometimes I'm awful and it's bad yeah and you mentioned that you're like you

know as a family you love baking and kind of creative things like that and you've just announced your new book happy vegan yeah it's really exciting have you always been vegan or no I'm not vegan oh you're not vegan no I'm not vegan I've written a vegan cookbook because I I probably cook 80% vegan in the house my husband loves vegan food I love vegan food we probably eat vegan at home I'd say 99% of the time but my job you know I'm out all the time in weird and wonderful places I could be anywhere in the country like the new show I just filmed it's unlikely you're going to be able to get the perfect vegan meal that you know is going to sustain your energy all day in a random town the middle of nowhere and I can't be making stuff and taking it all over the shop so so sometimes I will eat eggs sometimes a bit of cheese sometimes

butter but at home mostly I cook vegan because I I home cook everything I love cooking so that never fazes me at all but I'm so I haven't eaten meat since I was about 10 then I started eating fish in my 20s because it was hard to be a vegetarian back in the day it was really even in London it was like it was hard and I was I was working from the age of 15 and sometimes I'd just live off cheese sandwiches and it was really depressing so I started eating fish in my 20s and then this year again I've cut out fish but mainly for environmental reasons more than anything just the overfishing of the seas etc so I'm back to being veggie with a heavy vegan slant yeah so I've written that book with a deep passion

for learning more about veganism, basically. And the book clearly states on the front and the back, it's for vegans, it's for people who have never even eaten a vegan meal, it's for people like me that dabble with veganism. And I think anyone encouraging it, or even if they're vegan, like my parents go vegan one day a week and they'll have like, or they'll do like two vegan dinners a week or something.

And my dad's got really into eating like that. And I don't think we have to be black or white and anything else other than that is wrong. So, yeah, it's been a really, I was nervous about doing it, but I feel, you know, if I had the opportunity like this to talk about why I've done it, then it's fine. Yeah, no, I absolutely agree. And I think it's so problematic when we do label our diets because then we almost put ourselves in these little camps. Yeah. We've got like this moral attachment to the way you eat and then you feel like that pressure to always eat that way. And there may be an instance where actually you need to have some animal

products for whether it's because you're traveling or for health reasons and I think I'm very much like don't label your diet but do what you want to do I love that um because how do we backtrack from that because it has gone down that road like most things culturally where you're this or you're that and if you're neither then you are bad or you are wrong or you haven't committed and I've never assigned to that like I said I was veggie for years then I ate fish then I decided not to again and I don't feel like any period of that has been a bad period I've just been through different phases with food and experimenting with food but you do get so attacked by certain groups and it could be from either side and I do wonder how we start to

be a bit more open-minded about you don't have to be anything yeah no I absolutely agree and I think it's almost religious and that like and we take these camps but I think although your book's like titled happy vegan and you're not vegan I think encouraging people to eat more plants is only a good thing and whether that that's your part-time or full-time or one day or like that's that's a good thing so what can we expect from the book is that like all different types of from like dinners and baking yeah everything a little bit of everything breakfast lunch dinner snacks loads of sweet stuff and baking because me and the kids like to bake so much and um and my step kids are like at the moment so i've baked cake has it got has it not got any butter

and eggs in like sorry no i will do a buttery egg one very soon but they can't tell the difference anyway because they're so delicious of course but yeah we do a lot of bakings there's a good sort of sweet treat section which i'm really happy with oh that's so good and in addition to food you are also really passionate about exercise I know we touched on it before so what in addition to yoga you do fit which I love it I just did one this morning I mean it's it's genuinely changed my life because before I had kids I just obviously do whatever I wanted whenever I want so I'd go for a run first thing I'd go for a run at night if I had kids I just obviously do whatever I wanted whenever I want so I'd go for a run first thing I'd go for a run at night if I had jet lag sometimes I'd go running at like

five in the morning if I couldn't sleep I'll just go running whenever I can't do that now I it's so rare that I can get to a class a yoga class a fitness class or even to a gym so I haven't got a gym membership anymore and then I met the fit guys guys and I found out about this sort of new technology they were building and what they were planning to do with it. And I was intrigued to say the least. So I brought home an early model of it and tested it out on my phone

and was like, why would I ever go out of the house again to exercise? I mean, I go running because I love being outside. But to a class for a parent, this is genius. So my husband uses it too. Usually the kids will be eating breakfast or he'll be preparing it i'll do a quick 20 minute hit session then we tag team i go and

make sure the kids get dressed for school or whatever and then he'll do his and in 40 minutes we're both done and it's genius yeah and you're in your house and there's i did yoga last night when the kids were in bed before I went to bed and then this morning I did a 25 minute HIIT workout I love it it's genius yeah and I think especially when you're so busy that you don't have to leave your home you can just do it then and there first thing in the morning for parents it's honestly ideal or if you're just a crazy busy worker and you know you only have 20 minutes before work or you want to do a light yoga thing before bed after work and there's no time in the day. It is absolutely ideal.

Yeah. And do you think for you that's really important for your mental health? It's integral. Yeah. It's integral. It's rarely to do with what I look like or what I want to look like because I've had the same body for 38 years and it's really not changed very much apart from through pregnancy so it's not that I'm aiming to look like anyone or change it because I'm I know that that's a load of crap

it's about knowing that I've put effort into my mental state and I've done something for myself it's really important and I have a real hard time doing that I'm always you know thinking I'm too selfish or I should be doing more for other people and I never give myself time so letting myself have that 20 minutes is so important and just feeling like my blood pumping around my body if I'm doing a hit and then equally like last night I felt quite stiff from I'd been on set all day filming and I just came home I needed to like expand my bones and my muscles and I was all tight it was air conned in there and I just had 20 minutes of lovely breathing and moving gently and for me that's enough yeah yeah no absolutely and I mean the research around

exercise and mental health is so compelling. I often get people, though, who are suffering from depression to say, well, it's all well and good saying that. But on my worst days, it's very hard to get up and actually do exercise. And on those days, if you're ever feeling like that, do you feel the same? Do you just say, well, today I'm not going to exercise or today I'm going to go for a walk instead? Yeah, certainly I'll go for a walk. Like I love putting on music or podcasts and going walking in the park today I'm not going to exercise or today I'm going to go for a walk instead or yeah certainly I'll go for a walk like I love putting on music or podcasts and going walking in the park if I'm feeling terrible yeah sometimes if I'm feeling really awful I leave my phone at home or if we're out driving we've been somewhere on the school run I'll leave my phone

in the car of my husband get him to drop me off an hour from home then I'll just walk the rest certainly I'll do that but sometimes if I'm feeling really awful I know I need it even more so I will just make myself do it and I will feel maybe only two percent better after but it's better than the two percent lower than I was earlier so I'll usually give it a try um but some days it's more like energy dependent say I'm exhausted because obviously being a parent of young kids is beyond knackering then some days it's more like energy dependent say I'm exhausted because obviously being a parent of young kids is beyond knackering then some days I will just do a very light little yoga thing in the evening or just my own little yoga thing and then some days nothing at all because you are that

depleted and just over it and that's absolutely fine I think you've got to listen to your body yeah no that's what you you have to absolutely listen to your body and like as part of your job you've interviewed like so many people now you probably can't even count and I'm sure you've had some really insightful conversations with people what has been maybe it's probably difficult for you to say but been the biggest piece of advice that someone's given you from those interviews oh well I've had one recently actually um what I think my actually going back to your question earlier as well I'd forgotten about this I don't know how probably my favorite podcast and interview that I've ever done is with Elizabeth Gilbert because I've I've been a huge fan for years and read all of her books and when I first started thinking

about doing this podcast a few years ago I wrote out a dream list and she was absolutely the top of it and I thought it would never happen it would never happen and then serendipity and lots of little twists and turns led me to being you know in the studio sat opposite her asking all these questions I've been desperate to ask her for years and there was a couple of bits and a lot of people have talked to me about it recently friends who have listened and one being just to not care about stuff that you don't need to she's this brilliant bit about you know she lost her her partner a year and a half ago to cancer and she remembers being in the thick of it when she was grieving and having this inbox full of emails from all these people you know a lot of them who she sort of knew or someone had

got her email address from someone else and emailed her and she just pressed delete she's like I don't care I don't care about any of these people that I don't really know very well and what they want from me I don't care and I think we all know deep down what we truly care about the people we truly care about the issues we truly care about and there's a load of stuff we feel we should give a toss about and I've been much more focused on that recently. There's some things I think, oh, I probably should go to that work, social thing or whatever. I don't want to go. I don't like doing stuff like that.

Just because I'm on the telly doesn't mean I like going to sort of things where you sit on big tables and have fancy dinners. I don't actually like it. So I've started going, I don't care and just sticking with it. And I'm not being mean or like, I'm not started going I don't care and just sticking with it and I'm not being mean or like I'm not going I don't care I'll obviously send someone a polite response saying

very honestly I'm not in a great headspace or my priorities are slightly different at the moment but the reaction and any guilt I may have previously harbored I've got to push to the side and not care about and she absolutely changed my mind and really enforced and empowered me um to go more in that direction yeah I think that's a reflection of our culture where we feel like we can't say no I know it's very very difficult I've written in my notes, all different responses of how to say no to different... Like that. Like, invites, if I just really can't go because I just don't have the energy after work to go to a social event about something that I'm not super passionate about.

And you just feel like you need to go because... Yeah, I should go. You should go. What? Because... No. Yeah. And I think we need to stop saying that

and actually just doing what we want to do you know I was thinking about this the other day because I really haven't been out socialising in months it's just been

hectic with the kids and and work and my husband and I have had no time to ourselves at all and we know that there are periods like that

and it's fine but I was thinking the other day god like should I be more social should I be going to like bars to meet people for a drink should I be going out to parties and then I thought a hundred years ago people weren't worrying about that that wasn't a worry like oh my god you know in the early 1900s should I be going out no people are going am I surviving good? Good, I am.

Have I eaten today? Yes. Are my kids clothed? Are they warm? Possibly. Good. It wasn't a worry. It's so silly that we're putting this pressure on ourselves now.

And socializing can be great. And I'm not, you know, saying I'm never going to socialize again. But at the moment, I have very little energy. And it's not a priority. And it might be again one day. But I'm not going to feel burdened by guilt again or embarrassment or shame because I'm pretty sure my ancestors didn't give it a thought ever I know they didn't yeah do you think that's because they didn't have social media and FOMO probably yeah because actually in my 20s I don't think I even felt like that like I probably did socialize well I mean I know I did a lot more than I am now but even when I wasn't

and I was in intense work periods because I worked a lot in my 20s I remember periods where I would work three weeks straight without a single day off full day filming and I I loved it I could keep going I absolutely I'd be knackered but I loved it so those could keep going. I absolutely, I'd been knackered, but I loved it. So those periods I wasn't socializing at all, but I didn't cross my mind, probably because like you're saying, I didn't know what everyone else was doing. I didn't really care.

I just thought I'm really lucky to have a job and that's where it stopped. And it's all becoming exasperated because we know too much. We think we know too much. We assume too much. Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, I just asked you about the best advice that someone or has given you or you've picked up from one of your podcasts or interviews

what do you think you would give yourself on reflection what advice would you give you've been in the media since you were like 15 yeah yeah I mean going back to that age I think it works both ways I would probably give myself at that age a little bit of advice later down the line just keep being me because when I was 15 I didn't have the mental capacity to think that I could emulate someone else I was just getting through the filming days best I could and like so I was just being me but I think in my 20s I was like oh good should I be more girly and try a bit more sexy I don't really naturally feel like that but maybe I should and I tried all these different hairstyles looks or whatever whereas

now I couldn't give a toss I just do what feels right to me and I won't be swayed by anyone in that way but I would actually probably rather reverse it and have advice from the 15 year old me to me now. Because I was much more of a risk taker. I was much more relaxed about things. I was much more excited and intrigued about things. I was more curious. I was willing to look like a fool if things went wrong. I was just really gung-ho and I think these days

because I've been hurt and burnt and told things to my face and slagged off and all these things I do have much more anxiety around putting myself in vulnerable situations I'll still do it but with a lot of anxiety thrown in whereas before I used to sleep all night no worries never had insomnia went into jobs nervous but I'd still do them whereas now I'm I'm way more fragile in that way so I would almost take a little bit of that energy and bring it to my older self yeah I like that though um I think we could all probably learn something from our younger selves and yeah we always think it's the other way around like what would you tell that person it's like well she was probably a bit cooler than I am now to be fair like I might know a bit more now but

she had a lot more spirit yeah absolutely and before we wrap up so what's happening next for you I know you've got the book coming out. Book's coming out. I've got a couple of other little launches of design thing, just sort of design work that I've done. Two new projects coming out in October, which I'm really excited about.

And the podcast, I'm nearly wrapped on series five. So that will possibly start. Because we've got like a mini series, which is eight episodes. Then there's a brand new series proper after that and I'm really excited about some of the people on that series like buzzing about that one so I'm really thrilled so yeah it's just lots of really nice stuff that I'm really

passionate about we've got lots more things happening with happy place like ideas that are fetal right now but hopefully will come into fruition maybe next year year after yeah more books and all sorts of stuff like that going on exciting well thank you for giving us your time today and inviting us into your wonderful home um it's been really lovely thank you thank you wow what a lady i can't thank fern Fernana for being so open and so honest during our conversation. She was an absolute joy to speak to. Now, before we say goodbye, it's time to answer this week's question. Just as a recap, the question was, Hazel, I often suffer from cystitis. Is there anything I can do or any foods I can eat to prevent this? Okay, so cystitis means inflammation of the bladder. Some people may call it a lower UTI or urinary tract infection, or you may hear it called a water infection. Now,

women are more likely than men to get UTIs because we have a short urethra, which is the tube that connects the bladder to the outside essentially. and it's only about five centimeters in women compared to 20 centimeters in men. Other risk factors for UTI include things like pregnancy, being sexually active, post-menopausal, diabetes, having a suppressed immune system or having any abnormalities somewhere along the urinary tract. Now in terms of prevention you may have heard about drinking cranberry juice well actually there is some science behind this because cranberries contain a substance that can prevent bacteria sticking to the walls of the bladder. The only thing is evidence is quite conflicting and inconsistent in this area. So cranberry products such as juice and tablets are no longer recommended to treat or prevent UTIs. On the other hand, some people absolutely swear by it.

So if it works for you, then that's fine. What other things can you do to prevent them? Some helpful tips may be wiping front to back after using the toilet, having a wee after sex, avoiding soap or perfumed bubble bath when washing down there, wearing cotton underwear rather than synthetic materials such as nylon. Some people also swear by a supplement called D-manos for the prevention of UTIs. It's not something that we routinely recommend on the NHS but if it's something you wish to try then you can get it in health food stores or in pharmacies and chemists. There's also some evidence that suggests that probiotics may be helpful in preventing UTIs by keeping kind of bad bacteria from growing in that area. However there is no clear guidance as to what strain or dose or

formulation is best just yet so in terms of where we are I think we still need a bit more research behind that before we start advising people to use a probiotic also if you're still suffering please do see your doctor for further advice and maybe investigations and I do have to mention if you are pregnant please do speak to your GP or midwife in the first instance before trying any of that. As always information provided on the podcast is not intended to replace standard medical advice from your regular health care provider or practitioner. Now guys, that's all for me. I hope you enjoyed season three of the podcast as much as I enjoyed hosting it.

If you do want to keep up to speed with what I'm up to over the next while, then please do make sure to follow me on social media. I'm at thefoodmedic as always and my website is thefoodmedic.co.uk. I also have two books, The Food Medic and The Food Medic for Life, which are available to buy on Amazon

and from all good bookstores. I hope you have an absolutely awesome day and I will speak to you again very, very soon. Bye-bye.