The Frank Skinner Show - A Butchers Heckle

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

Where else will you find a podcast that discusses entrails, clowns, Terrifier 3 AND Arrowords... It's Frank Off The Radio with a live theme tune to boot! Get in touch with Frank, Pierre and Emily via [e-mail] The Frank Skinner Podcast is an Avalon Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank, off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o, and the one with the French name. Who ca- Oof. Come on. Yoda. Sorry, can I go again? No. Again? Can I go? Shall I start again? oh, come on. Hoof, and the one with the French name. Hoof from South Africa came.

They're all here, open brackets, hooray. Close brackets, today. I mean, it's work in progress, but isn't life, isn't life work and Yoda he doesn't get the amount of work he used to. His star has fallen I think, Yoda. Yeah and yoga. Now yoga actually is going great. And I called him Yoga. Yeah he hates being called, that's one of his worst things. No but he needs the money now so he has to, he's doing that it's a commercial sponsorship deal, he has to change his name doing that. It's a commercial sponsorship deal. He has to change his name to Yoga.

You know, I had a joke in my stand-up act, which Arnie ever did once, I think. When I did it, I thought this shows such faith in the British public that if it works, I think I'll just quit. But I just, what'll actually happen is people go, huh? And that is exactly what happened. And I did, there's a quote from Yoda, and if a joke failed, this was when I was putting the show together, obviously they never fail now. But I said, I'm on tour at the moment. And I said, my favorite Yoda quote is, failure the best teacher is. Which

is, I like that, it's a good, I'm sure we'll quote it many times over the next few podcasts. That's the review I think. What he never said was, syntax was my best teacher was the suggestion that the person who taught him syntax was good and people did just look at me as if syntax sounded like some sort of brand name for drawing pins. One of the people that Yoda has to help you fight, Syntax the Great. Yeah, exactly. From the grammar nebula.

Syntax, that's confession, isn't it? What's that?. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm a gramma nebula. I don't think syntax that's confession, isn't it? What's that? Oh, yes syntax. Yeah, that's what it is a scent effectively after I want to tread carefully around this No, no, I'm good. I think that'll be good if they advertise their scene The penance would be syntax. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. There you go By the way, I know there'll be a lot of people who Resisted looking this up, but I have it written down George Jeffries the hanging job Starting with the hanging job. It's a cliffhanger

He condemned 320 people to hanging. Good morning everyone. Hope you're having a lovely day. And he transported 800 people to Barbados. By which we mean I suppose he sent. Yeah. He didn't say, I'll drive. Hang on.

What a lovely thing. They got to go to Barbados because they committed a crime. It was a game show hosted by Judge Jeffreys that if you failed you were hanged and if you won the holiday, you got all your hair hairfares. Look what you could have won. Do you think back when they were hanging judges and they were not just fine with it, I'm sure Mr Jeffreys thought he was doing the Lord's work and so on, do you think they were competitive about their count? Oh I hope not.

That would be, yeah. I like to think. League table up in the... This is always true with the legal system, you want to believe it works, otherwise it's anarchy. Yep. I'll tell you who doesn't follow it. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram, or you can email the podcast via frankofftheradioatavalonuk.com. Okay.

It's alright, get the, oh, just get the, I'm scratching myself. The housekeeping at the Y with the Judge Jeffreys. Now we can relax. Judge Jeffreys, email address, quick scratch. By the way, are you keeping notes? Yes, yeah, yeah. That's the housekeeping. I didn't know you were doing minutes for this.

Listen, as I said, I'm on tour at the moment and Pianne Valley can no longer support me because he's too big. Oh, it's all gone a bit Star is Born. Yeah. Have you walked into the ocean? I might. Did I tell you, when I watched the original Star is Born, which is James Mason and Judy Garland, and at the end, because his wife has got more famous than him, he walks into

the ocean, he can't cope with it. And my dad, who I watched it with, it was really, it is sad. I mean, now you think you sexist monster, you deserve to drown. But then he was a tragic figure, had been a big star and you know, he'd been eclipsed. And as he walked out at the end and the music started, my dad who I was watching it with said, they should have had my Barney Liza over the ocean. My Barney Liza, can you imagine it? One of the close-up of Bartlett Hat floating on the surface.

As if to imply that he was trying to walk towards his Bonnie. I think it's because he was Judy Garland's Bonnie. She loved him. And he didn't really lie over the ocean. That was the problem with it. He was more under. Yes. V's the varying depths. So anyway, so now I'm being supported by Steve Hall, who used to occasionally sit in on the radio show of yesteryear. And Steve said to me, we're just having casual bants in the dressing room. Oh. And he said to me, oh yeah, I remember that time when the show started and you said, we've

got Steve Hall with us this morning. He said, and he said somebody sent in a... Somebody, you know, he's very hanged dog, Steve. That's just Judge Jeffery used to call him. He said to me, he said once you announced that it was me and then somebody sent in a picture of some entrails and he said they were... What? He said it was a butcher. It wasn't one he got off the internet. He just took the picture.

He just took the picture. Hang on, he says a butcher. A butcher literally took a photograph of entrails. And sent them in, which he took as a response to the fact that he was on the show. And he said, I remember, I, not Amy, Amy wasn't there, Emily said... Oh, don't suck me into the entrails. Yeah so he said to me, Emily said, oh don't even worry about it Steve, you know you're doing a great job. And I thought what you... What do the entrails mean though?

Can I just say I would never have said that, I would have said I've never been sent entrails in my entire 15 years in or is anyone else I would call the police No, but it might have been as we heard on the last podcast you being kind when appropriate or It's quite ancient Greek isn't it reading the entrails it's quite prophecy. Yeah, but I don't think it's a heckle. But yeah, it's a butcher's heckle. Like a baker's dozen. It's a measurement of food. Oh, and a top gig last night, got a butcher's heckle in the first 10 minutes. They cover the stage and intestines and lungs. So I said to Steve, I'm not reading, and I don't mind reading entrails with the best of me.

But I said, I don't see the derogatory nature of them. It's quite a whimsical butcher who's sort of is mid disemboweling some animal, hears Steve Hall say hello on the radio and thinks, well, I'll show him. I don't think he'd actually spoken at this point. I'm trying to get in early. His name alone.

Yeah, exactly. Surely it wasn't intended to be threatening. Or an expression of disapproval, a flash of the entrails. Oh, possibly. Yeah, I think the feeling was it was disapproving. I don't think so. I think it was celebratory. OK.

Yeah. So yeah, if you're that person who sent in the picture, can you tell us what one on earth you were getting at? That's what I'd never send us any entrails ever again Yes, funny to reply to an email of a picture of entrails with and what did you mean by this? Just sorry. Can I just ask are these good or bad? Yeah, exactly. We need we need some footnotes on the entrails. Yeah. But don't send any more in,

because as they say, you can't have the same party twice. I love that Frank went slightly serious there. No. Don't send any more entrails in, okay? We've had our fun. Well, that thing about, one of the things that worried me about this podcast was I have long used the phrase, you can't have the same party twice, which is basically what we're

doing. But I was doing a gig in Blackburn and I met former West Bromwich Albion winger Dick Kruiswicky. And the only time I ever did a pitch invasion at West Brom, I was a little boy and I ran on the pitch and Dick Criswicky, I remember, was playing at number seven, I remember, and I patted him on the shoulder as a sort of a, you know, well played. And I remember he was very solid and muscular. I never touch men like that back home. And when he was in the dressing room, I was an older man now, obviously.

He was playing in the 60s. So I tapped him on the shoulder again and he still felt solid as a, I mean, now he's probably hardening of the arteries. But I did have the same party twice. I felt that same thrill. What I'm saying is I think we're okay. Dick Chriswicky's shoulder, that's what I'm based on. I can't speak this morning.

I was great on the first podcast we did, and now I'm all over the place. Of course, that was 20 minutes ago Times have changed. Oh, no, we're not supposed to mention that Before we move on can I say that a lot of people might feel that my career went into the doldrums After we were kicked off the radio, but can I tell you I had one of my greatest ever After we were kicked off the radio, but can I tell you I had one of my greatest ever Achievements, I'm gonna share it with you now. We're gonna go to audio commentary He reaches into a tote bag at his side and takes out a magazine

That response is because what I'm holding up is a magazine called Arrow Words, which is from, I think one could say the school of Pozler. When you get these crossword magazines in Motorway Services and stuff, you get a celebrity on the front, it's me. The brilliant thing about it, I'm backed with a sort of crossword grid and someone has filled in, there's a clue that says Skinner, pictured star. And someone has got it. Fair play. Frank. I was on my way back from a festival, imagine my joy at seeing this. I'll put a picture of it up on £3.70, that's how thrilled I was. I thought about just taking a photo but then I thought I'll go hard copy.

Well I ended up, you know David Baddiel who I saw, it must have been the weak. What the activist David Medeo? It literally was the week Arrow Words dropped. Oh. And we discussed it because I said well Frank was on you. I know about Arrow Words, of course I know about Arrow Words. Look at the LRB. Everyone was talking about Arrow Words that week because it was it. Do you know what I felt so proud of you Frank Well, I'm very made up on it. I never knew I mean whoever did the makeup on this What in the photo? Yeah, I Would just say you look you look yeah, very TV ready. I would say you look camera ready

No, I look I'm Matt Matt finished. That's what I am. Anyway, it's I shall keep that forever. I might have it I might honestly have it framed. I Should yeah Because it's sort of Suggesting that you're famous, but that you're a bit ironic and not mindy about yes Yes, which is a good place to be. Yeah, Did you hunt for arrow words or did you come upon it? No, it was just why would I why would I hunt for arrow?

Why would anyone? It's in that category. Hold on. Are they on our list of potential sponsors? Yes, no, I have it every week I'm never without arrow. Yes. Yes, I've actually had. You can buy it from the merch, a quiver, to keep your Arrow Words copies in. So that's, I've did that without even thinking about it. I am always amazed when you go into a services, which is quite a comedian thing to do. I love the services.

You look around the sort of W.H. Smith or whatever outlet they have and there's a big pile of puzzle books Mmm, big pile of romance novels big pile of car magazines, which feels like gilding the lily when you're already Yeah, you've driven to a services. It feels like you should have had your fill of cars and I always wonder who's who's buying all three Who's buying in what combo who's's buying the coffee table book Princess Diana? Yes. Yeah. Yes, who's buying the instant tent? Yeah.

That's happened on their journey. Who's buying World War One fighter planes? Who's buying the, for three pounds a month you get a piece of Nelson's flagship. Yeah. As well as some... Well that's what they call a part work I believe. Oh I love the part work. My favourite one was Victorian delivery vehicles.

Oh man that was... How many were there? Loads. Well I don't know. I mean who knows? They just kept coming. They always deliver the Victorian vehicles. Yeah, I don't know if you've built them or if I'd be a very lumpy gift, wouldn't it?

Yeah. They were only like, you know, corgi toy size. I don't know if you remember corgi toys, toy cars. Surely Victorian delivery vehicles is mainly, I mean, there's what? There's maybe a sort of early van, kind of cart. Or some Lion's T. I don't know if they're sponsoring. Yeah usually. Okay now I don't know if we've worked out the tea contract. With lions. Yeah I remember there was a tea called Shakespeare tea you could get

in Birmingham there's a picture of him on it. Yeah. And it says tea as you like it was their slogan it was absolute eerie it's the worst tea I've ever had. I haven't listened to that radio station. Oh it'll come. I think we were offered now actually as a compensatory measure. We can put you on absolute URI. What are you taking? Anyway. Ryo, is it really disgusting? I mean it was all... One of the things, I was unemployed at the time and I cut a lot of corners. But I couldn't, I'm not on tea. Well I sampled a lovely tea at your house the other day. Kath allowed me to dig into your stash. Not that one. It was caramelized biscuit or something. Oh yes. I'm very keen. There's biscuit tea and caramelized biscuit tea and jam and toast tea.

It's a whole new Aladdin world. So your whole snack can be liquid. You don't need actual hard-copy jam and toast. So it tastes of jam and toast and tea. Is it a satisfying? I really like it. I mean, I like the standard biscuit tea. Are you sure we're not being paid for this? I won't mention the brand. You send the money I mention the brand. What's this character? That's the deal. Frank, whilst we're on the subject. We could all be sipping this tea under the right circumstances.

Yeah, if the money was right. Frank, whilst we're on the subject of tea, am I allowed to mention the Fortnum and Mason tea that we had? Oh yes! Because we had a sort of farewell tea, didn't we? It wasn't a sort of, there was no sort of about it. What happened is one of the seniors at our former radio station gave us high tea vouchers, not IT, that was where he thought it was gonna work.

High tea so that we could go to Fortnum and Mason's and have all that. And it comes, you get tea, which you choose. If you remember, I went for wedding breakfast blend, which had been especially blended for Prince William and Kate. Yes. Which was a lovely choice.

You went royal. Well what a height cut! Not a million miles away from the urine of my urine. It's all right. But when the food comes it's on a triple tray and the hierarchy is cake at the top, triple tray and the hierarchy is cake at the top, scones in the middle, sandwiches at the bottom. I think it's based more on sugar content than any social. Yeah. So it's interesting that's your memory of it, because my memory of that tea was the waiter came and greeted us and said, are you here to celebrate? And Frank said in a very

loud voice, no, we've been sacked right well We've often made redundant And then he did say it with a question mark he wanted to know In a very loud voice we haven't got any money, so we're paying with vouchers Was warming to the redundant theme. I'll say fair play to the guy. He maintained a cheerful demeanour throughout and even offered us suggestions. What did he say? He said something like maybe you could get a black tablecloth.

Yeah, he went with us on it. He said maybe we can sort of... That's because he thought we'd be dirty on it. He sort of said, maybe we can sort of do this. That's because he thought we'd be dirty on it. Don't get me wrong, if ever you go to, if ever you've got to spare 80 quid and you want to go. It's a lovely... Was that what it cost? 80 pounds each? I think so. I counted. We don't know. Can I say we paid with vouchers? As Frank told the entire tea rooms, we don't have any money we're having to pay with vouchers. As various Russians glowered at us.

I was edgy that we'd get there and hand them over at the end and then we'd find that it was an absolute prank and they just printed some off on their thing. I mean it's a bit weird that one of them had got buttocks on. It felt like a photocopy prank. It would be a very sort of 1800s prank for a modern radio station to pull. I tell them they could have high tea, but actually there's not a reservation under their name. Call in if you've ever pulled a jape like this. Normally it's something to do with a prank phone call. Speaking IT, a partner would make such a... But what you want to do is make the bookie.

Fancy prank for all the drivers listening, taxi drivers, they were going, ha, I stitched you up like a kipper mate. There was no tea there. Next week on aristocratic old-fashioned pranks. Next week on carriage drive time. Yeah. Imagine if there's anyone at home laughing as much as we are. Fingers crossed. Daisy's going to get cross with us. Daisy, do you know, Daisy's really gone giving it loads with the old iron fist.

Next week, the dropped faux suede glove. Listen, speaking of horrific things. What, Fortnum and Mason? No, being made redundant. I've never seen this before. There's a film out called Terry Fire 3. And they had, we're not being sponsored by a, don't panic. They had clips of people, rather than a clip of the film, they had clips of people watching

the film on someone's phone and going, oh god, oh that's disgusting. A bit like a very horrible version of Gillette's soccer Saturday. When you got like Paul Merson saying, oh well he's just Mr. Sitter there. But it's them talking about this terrible gore in this... That's rude, you've interviewed him and he was lovely. Oh Al Gore, yes. And of course I went to the Gore lecture and got Dom for speeding. They've called this some excessive gore, haven't they?

Even says... Excessive gore would be a great... That's his podcast. That's a sort of hillbilly relative of Al Gore it would be a good knife yeah it's much better than what was this thing called the unconfidential truth the the inconvenient truth oh yes yes I am I've seen terrifier one I didn't I wouldn't say I was at any point terrified. I'd say you could accurately call it Revolta one.

Oh. There were instances where I was... Why didn't you go and see that? I really feel a bit shocked. Well, it was during the Fringe and I was living at that... That year I was living with among other people the comedian Glen Moore. Oh, he's a nice boy. He's very nice.

He's also immune to horror films. Yes, I am too. I find them funny. Yeah, he's on an eternal quest to find one that will actually scare him. And so as part of that quest, we sat down and watched Terrifier. Did it work?

No, no. Gosh, I honestly, I just read this thing in the paper with these people and I was worried I might not get to sleep that night just hearing. Honestly I'm as a cannibal Santa. Yes. Oh but have you seen him? He's ridiculous. This is why I can't take it seriously. I don't know what it is Frank. I think it might be him who sent the entry house to Steve Hall. You know when people take photos of their meals on social media. Why are those guys having a go at me?

I just sent a nice update. I thought I was eating today. Exactly. What's wrong with them? Yo ho ho. What art's the clown? Is it yo ho ho or just ho ho ho with Santa? Does he begin with a yo and then he sort of develops it?

What? Santa? Ho ho ho Santa, yo ho ho pirates. Hang on, hang on. There's no yo with Santa. Okay. There's no yo with Santa. He doesn't go near yo. He's ho ho ho.

If it's yo you hear, a pirate is near. That's the rhyme. What's that rhyme? Okay, okay. Have you just made that up? That's good. Yeah. That's good advice.

That's quite clever, Frank. That we'll always know. That is good advice. That's quite clever Frank, that we'll always know. That is good yeah. Yeah I don't know about the sound of cannibal Santa. Hang on, he's a bit confused, that's my issue with Art the Clown. What are you? Are you, is he, I mean he's a killer, is he demonic clown killer? Demonic clown killer.

But he's a Santa as well? I suppose seasonally. You think he's a Santa just in this one? Yeah. I think this is a Santa just in this one? Yeah. I think this is the Christmas. Terrifying. This is the Christmas hybrid. But he was wearing a really cheap Santa costume and I have a real problem with cheap Santa.

You know when they've got the very thin Santa there? People roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nibbling at your nose. Yeah, exactly. I have a real problem with... Is it nose or toes? Well I don't think he's fussy, Art the Clown. No.

He'll go for either, whatever you're offering. Yeah. He's a great guest like that. Whatever person, section you're offering, he'll eat it. He's not fussy. He had a very thin, you know, I call them like doll call them like doll belts oh you know what I mean by that was just a strip the buckle doesn't even open properly looks I mean there's a what is it with films with scary clowns remember poltergeist had a scary clown it yes

the classic there's been a lot of it. I mean, they're big shooters to film. No, but why is it, why clowns? I don't get it. Were people afraid of clowns and then they started popping up in horror or has horror created the phenomenon? When was the first scary clown? Well, the first person I ever heard say that clowns were scary was the popular comedian John Thompson. Was it? And he said he found clowns not very funny and a little bit scary, was what he said. And then everybody started saying clowns were scary, but I don't think they obviously are

if they're eating people's intestine. Sure. But that would be true of, you know. Almost any profession. That would be true of Pierre. Exactly. But if a plumber ate someone's intestines you'd think yeah. But this guy is part of a long tradition I would say. I do think it would take some of the terror out of the moment if you were confronted by art the clown and you found the time to say, well, I understand you're part of quite a long tradition. Why is he called art as well?

That seems quite poetic. Because he represents people's general irrational fear of art and creativity. He only murders Philistines. That same instinct that when people graffiti on a banksy. Yeah. That, that, he represents that. People's fear of art, people saying anything that sounds intelligent or poetic. That's the real horror.

That, yeah, exactly. I think I've read that somewhere from the director person line. I'm actually making that up. Just trying to give it a bit of fillet, you know what I mean? Why do they always have so many of them, the horror films? It's always five. Nightmare on Elm Street, five.

I don't want to hear one nightmare, I don't know now. I don't want to hear one of your nightmares. Five? Populous? Horror fans have just got an infinite appetite for this stuff. And once you get a hit, you know, because they don't cost a lot to make compared to other types of film. Horror apology.

No, no, that's just, it's just the reason why, like Blair Witch is the most famous one, right? It costs sort of $200,000. Yeah, but there's no gore in it. That's just like, that's psychological horror. That's like a phone going through trees, isn't it? Camera phone. Whereas this, I think he cuts, we won't go into too many details, but he cuts someone into pieces with a chainsaw. That was so silly. Yeah, so bad

for the environment. But wearing a Santa outfit, who does that? He takes it off first. There is a practicality to that. Like a tan bard. It was either that or Cardinal and I'm glad they went Santa. Has there Pete Frank, I don't wish to be in delicate, but have they done that? Do they mix the clergy up with horror ever? Exorcist. Oh yeah exorcist. Yeah but he's a good guy. What the hell keep telling Frank that. Yeah he's a lovely guy. I just I think it's sad, mean, I think, you know, you could argue that me and Pierre are in the same Venn diagram as the clowning profession. What do you mean? Oh, I see. What? You're like, oh, the clown, I'm not having it.

No, but we're sort, we are sort of clowns for a living. We're in the same section of the careers guidebook. Yeah, I don't, I mean, don't get me wrong, I always like to see gingers getting center stage. But I think, I think the idea that clowns are, you know, naturally evil is a bad thing to tell. Yeah, I've been to the clown service in Doston, the clowns church. Oh I thought you meant it was like on the motorway. The clown's services. They've got everything you need. I thought it was some way...

The car park though is just littered with doors. Glitter. Bonnet, hood, hood, oh. A lot of horns being honked as well in the car park. Yeah, I bet. Well, I remember a comedian telling me, I won't name who it was, but he's not a million miles away. Tell me that the clown community, the current modern clown community, are the most promiscuous comedy folk.

Oh, they're not. They're quite into the polyamory of the clowns. Are they? Yeah. It's certainly, they're more likely to be into it. Because it's all about going to France and learning how to do clowning the way that... Well, once you've gone to France. I mean, that says it all, doesn't it? Yeah, quite a bit. And also they don't have the risk either because if you do exchange bodily fluids... Oh, Frank! ...it manifests as confetti usually. Oh my god. Now I wonder why that is though.

You think it's because they've been to France? Do they do well with clowns with the, you know, whoever their partner is. Is it with each other or do they go with the laity? I think it's both. It's both. I think, well the modern clowns are always very physically fit, I think, because they do lots of sort of jumping around and- Oh, Frank, and clowns.

I think it's the kind of people who used to be more into sort of interpretive dance and sort of life modeling and things now are the kind of people who are clowns, whereas all the clowns, if you go to the Fringe, they're quite an athletic bunch. Yeah? Yeah. Whereas you're imagining a sort of like a guy in just massive trousers sort of honking his nose and falling down but it's not quite. Do they still wear the wigs? No. Okay. Sometimes. I bet they don't drive the cars. It's not green. They're not clowns then. It's not green. They're in a clown tree. No I mean apparently Terrifier 3 begins with the police stopping him and asking him

for his MRT certificate. And he just cuts him into a thousand pieces. Honestly, it looks so terrifying. Offering him a speed awareness course. Yeah. We've got a very special guest here today. Art? Art the Clown!

And the others are going, Art! I'm having nothing to do with this. It really, I couldn't, I wouldn't go and see if somebody gave me 10 grand. Wouldn't you, can I ask a question? Why do you get so, because you are a bit Walter the Softie. I am. When it comes to any, do you know this Pierre? It was my favourite Walter the Softie gang member. Oh. From the Beano. Walter the Softie was in the Beano in the days when bullying was...

Sort of glorified. People were less edgy about it. Bullying was kind of celebrated. Yeah, I mean obviously bullying's terrible and now they've sorted it out. Walter now is a powerful figure. They've swapped it around. Walter now has more the personality of old Dennis the Menace. And what's Dennis like now? He's quite nice.

Yeah, Dennis is, he's not, you know, he's, Walter was very wet, that was the idea. And the gang, Walter's gang, were like the wet versions of Dennis's gang, but my favorite character was called Doddley Nightshirt, which is a brilliant character name. You can't go wrong with that. Is that his main trait, is that he was just in pajamas?

He was from Dodley, I think. But you do get very frightened, Frank, don't you? Well, I think most people who've got fear in their life naturally must look at people who go to horror films and think, are you thinking, you know what's missing from my life? Terror and fear. It's like rich people wearing ripped jeans, you know, or in jeans. It's a think of wouldn't it be great if my life was a bit worse? I'll just play at it being a bit worse for an hour and a half. Be frightened. This horrible clown, yeah.

Because nothing frightens me because I'm living in quite a nice life. That's what people are saying. I do find it strange because I mean, yeah, like I say, I don't think I was terrified at any point, at least from Terrifier One, but at lots of points I was, ugh, like they really go in hard on the gore.

It really is gross gross doesn't sound cheap you see I I would have thought making cutting someone up with a chainsaw look real most Must involve a bit of expense my domain that good No, I get the trouble is I have a very poor suspension of disbelief. So I cannot, that's why I can't enjoy No Offence Frank, Doctor Who. It's all of that. I just go, no but listen, I just go straight to the bit,

maybe it's growing up in a theatrical household. You've seen too much behind the scenes. I've seen too much behind the scenes. So honestly, if I'm seeing that art, the clown, going, ah, whatever, with a chainsaw yeah I immediately go to that poor actor going back home wiping off all the black eye makeup and fake blood. Well that's what I was like after that arrow shoot. No I don't see that. You know what I mean and then I imagine them saying I turned down Leah for this I just poignancy of them having to do that humiliating job. Having to go up to the director and saying, now darling, do you think the clown would

really do this? I mean. Exactly, it's like a grown man having to go into Dalek or something. Well, I think that's fine personally. I would say our recommendation is don't see. I think that's why they're showing the reactions as well, because if they showed you the actual clown bit, there's nothing more frightening than the unknown. So you watch these people in the street being forced to watch a horror film, and you see them going, oh, and you're imagining something much worse than a clown sort of going oogly boogly and

some fake... I mean they might be watching just the caption that says can you look frightened please and we'll give you eight quid. There's a five read for you. Yeah that's true. Anyway I won't be going to see Terrifier 3 but it's people like it. I once did you say it's in 3d now as well No, no, I think you mentioned 3d No, I think I'm saying like 3d effects actually cost more than making like a big mannequin full of full of entrails I saw a film called love in 3d, which was an adult 3d. What is this? Yeah, love in 3d, yeah, where did you see that cinema? Was it on those cinemas? Was that the cinema? I bet it was. It wasn't the cinema you'd want to recommend. But yeah I remember actually docking at one point. That's what they call it.

Anyway we'll leave it there I think. So remember, if you have any interesting or fun things, you can email us on frankofteradioatavalonuk.com. Many of you already have. And we love it. Bye. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com.