The Frank Skinner Show - A Long Awaited Apology

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

Frank and Emily are joined by Rob Auton! This time the team talk about cloning dogs, our favourite Christmas carols and Frank has an apology for Rob. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, it's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Hey there, Toots, put on your dancing boots, come dance with me, come dance with me, what an evening for, some terpsichore. Okay, this is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean, and Rob Alton, he's with us today. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast. by Frank off the radio at AvalonUK.com. When it comes to WhatsApp, 07457-417-7-6-9, 07-457-4-1-7-6-9.

Our producer's very yeha. Oh, she's got a kind, just so you know, Rob, she's got a bit of a country thing going on. Yeah. She has, doesn't she? She's into country culture. Her husband is like a figure in British country. Huge in country.

And Sarah's really all over, country stuff. Do you like country, Rob? I do, yeah. Oh, good. You don't have to say that. I like guitars. And I like, uh... I like guitars is not as time as I like country.

No. can you have country music without guitars? Oh yeah, I'm sure. You can have violins and... Oh yeah, you can. They play jogs, don't they, sometimes? Yeah. Excuse me?

Do I talk about Dolly Park? No, I'm not avoided Dolly Park. It's all right for you to go there. It is, you're correct. I'm not avoiding her because that is the type of country I like Frank. Yeah. Exclusively, I like divas, singing sort of plaintive ballads. I like exclusively female country stars.

Is that okay? Well, our producer likes modern. Oh, yes. And how is it different then? It's not any good. Whereas, you know, Johnny Cash and those guys, Willie Nelson. Do you like Dolly? Yeah, I do like Dolly.

I mean, I'm obviously tarnished forever by a rock album. Oh, yes. Which I have mentioned before on this podcast. You wouldn't have heard it, Rob, by any chance. Which one? So, Dolly Parton did a rock album. Oh, okay. And she sounds now like the granny from the Beverly Hildleys.

So there are songs with her going, We will, we will rock you. It's really like, Dolly, please, lie down. It's funny term, isn't it, country music? It's quite a broad term. You've got country and world. Which one do you prefer, country music or world music? So reform should like country, and it is the home of the redneck.

world is very much sort of people who come to Spiritland. It's a bit more interesting. So it does make sense, really. Yeah. Yeah, town's no town or city music. It's funny how it conjures up so much in America, the concept of country, you know, instantly. Whereas if you did that here, what is that, the Cotswolds, Norfolk?

I like Norfolk music. I tell you, you've got host music. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's, that is, I'm imagining Google Earth, you know, doing all the music. Started with world music coming into country music. There's no continent music, is there? No, I don't think so. There's probably incontinent music.

The tea dances and stuff like Dolly Parton's rock album. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, culminating in house music, very good. I'm glad we've sorted that out. So when I arrived today, I'll come to Rob Orton in a minute. Actually, no, I won't. I'll come to Rob Orton now. In case you don't know, Rob, I'm basically, he's on the show today

because I have born guilt about Rob that I've carried for years now. What guilt? Because did I ever tell you I wrote a shit play? Oh no, not the play. Well, not only did I write a shit play, but I cast Rob in it. So it's like, you know, those early cosmonaut experiments

in the Soviet Russia, where they put people into like containers and see what would happen if we turn the air off. That's what I did with Rob in this play. Was Rob Leica? No, well, yeah, Rob was like... Do you know, Laika, the dog, the dog, went into the fight? Rob was Leica.

And he burnt with everyone else. Well, it wasn't that bad. It was, it was that bad. Rob. You don't have to say it, Rob. I'm going to have to go over to you. Rob's too nice to be honest about the play. What I will say about that is that on the first,

day that we did it in the press day of Edinburgh when I was waiting in the wings to go on and it was my cue my heart was never beaten as fast or as hard as that and it was great because

I was you threw a hand grenade into my comfort zone and I think that was really good for me yeah I think it was an exorcet yeah I think Sir Alec Guinness's heart would have been thumped if he was walking on to that play.

I thought I needed a dramaturish. They never gave me a dramaturish. By the end, on that last day that you came, and we did it. Did you just turn up on the last day then? Kind of book-ended it. Yeah. But it was, I thought we had it down

and I thought it was good. Well, there was bad reports coming back that the actresses were refusing to say some of the lines after the bit and stuff. I don't know, there was some. Well, you didn't do your blue stuff, did you? I remember there was a review that said one vagina joke does not a play, Makers.

Oh, Frank. Yeah, it was really bad. I needed help and I just wrote a play and it was terrible. It's nice of you to be okay about it, Rob. And I'm not blaming anyone who was in it. I blame the writer, Otterly. Do you think it could have a resurgence in a sort of a springtime for Hitler, producers? It could be, you.

I could cut it up. use it in a play about having written a bad play. Yeah. That's what I mean producer style. That's true and have a sort of bottom character like, so that the play that's in Hamlet. Exactly. Play within a play. There you go, Frank.

I was delighted to be in it though. I'm not, you were absolutely, you were as good as anyone could be in that pile of shit. Can I, oh my, Rob, can I ask a question? Did Frank audition you? So was, I'm thinking, I'm

seeing Frank in a sort of chorus line role in the theatre? No, I see what happened. We needed to do some runs in its early stages. And so we just got anyone who was at my management company to come and sit in. So Rob did it. And he was supposed to just come in and help me. And then I said, no, I think he's really good. I think we should go with Rob.

And everyone said, you're fucking... He's never acting in his life. And I said, no, but I just feel he's got that raw. That's why he's good. But anyway, have you ever acted since? Yeah, I was in cold feet. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Were you? What did you play in cold feet? That was, well, I do a lot of poetry gigs at festivals and things like that. And I'd been going for loads of auditions. And the first part I ever got was to play a bad poet. in Cold Feet at a music festival. So they built this massive festival site and I was on stage

reading out a poem about a mobile phone but I really enjoyed it and then I was in The End of the Effing World Series 2. I was just in a film with Danny Dyer. There was a series 2 of the end of the effing world. So they preempted Armageddon. Hang on, he was also in a film with Danny Dyer.

No, that program, with Danny Dyer. It's very... Which program is it? They trialed a shit out of it on... Is it the one on Sky? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's huge, isn't it? No, I wasn't in that. Oh, Frank. How embarrassing.

Oh, you said you were in that? Oh, no, was in a film called Marching Powder. Yes, I know about Marching Powder. Oh. Oh, sorry, I've got very confused. I know about that. Oh, really? Ziggy Kamaza, yeah.

Oh, awesome. Yeah. So, um... Well, it turns out. No, I loved it. But one of my favourite things about working on that play was just being in the rehearsal, room. And it was the, I can't remember which football tournament it was. Was it the World

Cup? I can't remember. It was one of them anyway. I've tried, I've had therapy to remove the hole. He doesn't like football anymore. We'd go to Sains, we'd go to Tesco's in Angel and it was the day and on the night time was going to be a massive game and the amount of people who were coming up to Frank was crazy. It was like, they'd be like, oh my God, I I can't believe I've seen you today of all days. Well, I walked here from the station today, which is about a 15-minute walk. And I shook hands with four separate people on the way.

That's nice you still get asked. Well, I think it's because today I'm wearing a jumper with a large F. With a large F. And I'm thinking now, people, they need a bit of a clue. I think they have a vague sense of, What, that blow? Oh, yeah. So, yes, that's what I'm going to start doing.

I'm going to start wearing clues. Frank, it's a good idea because I found I'm not famous, but my dog has a little following. And when I've worn, that's the only time people have ever come up to me. I have a lot of Ray merchandise, sweatshirts, t-shirts. Do you? You have dog. No, just not specifically merchandise that I've produced,

but I have sweatshirts with his face on it. But his actual face, or a dog of the same breed. No, his actual face. I have one eye had made. My best friend had his face embroidered on a top for me. Goodness. Yeah. Well, have you not done that with Poppy?

No, I mean, Poppy only has followers when they're smelling her ass. But no, if I was going to do that, I'd buy a generic cavapoo jumper and just say it was Poppy. Would you? It's like if I once thought of doing a cloning system for the rich, say if they had a German Shepherd dog and he died, I said, well, we'll clone it and then just get another German Shepherd and give it a little bit of a second. Well, you could do that because Barbara Streisand had her dogs cloned.

It cost 75,000 pounds. She had two cotton de Touliers and she then had two more made when they died. Right. You get them cloned in China. It costs 75 grand. I've researched it. Oh, the Chinese. You can always rely on them.

Yeah, that's interesting. But you have to put the organs, I mean, you've got to, they take them on a plane. Part of what you're paying for is the organs to be taken on a first-class flight over to China. Oh, God. Well, I imagine it just because I'm one of the regular human organ flights. It's just, it's an annex of that. But you know, I would consider that, Frank. know that's awful.

You consider cloning. Oh, yeah. Can I say this? I read about cloning of pets. And one of the things the cloning companies say is it won't be exactly, it won't look exactly the same, and it might not have the same temperament it had in its previous. And I thought, you've just getting another fucking dog. You'll get another fucking dog and charge it 175 grand to Barbara Streis.

Because people are so passionate. Yeah. You're right, because you could just explain, well, that. That's weird because it doesn't have any of the same characteristics. It looks in time. Well, we did say there will be some variations. Yeah, exactly. It's like I'm going to clone old women.

And they said, well, this isn't my grandma. It is your grandmother, but they never come out quite the same. She was an African. I never mind. I'm just saying. Anyway. That would be strange, though, because if you've got the puppy, you're like, oh, yeah, it looks exactly the same.

But you've got older. So you'd be like, oh, I can't play with you like I used to. It's like if you cloned your wife when she was 20 and you were 70. That's not a bad idea, actually, isn't it? How much is it again? 75K. And if they do bring another one, who gives her shit? Well, Frank, if it's 75K for the dog, you're going to have to put a bit more for the human.

Well, I don't know. You're good for it. I don't know. Depends. If we go back to China, I'm guessing it's a flat rate. Oh, my God. So I think you can be unkind about China now because they're basically destroying us. They're a superpower and they're cyber killing us. So I think that's that. Don't get me wrong, you can't do the voice or the face,

but you can be negative about them. They're negative about them. The new head of MI5 or MI6 the other day, I don't know if you've seen her. She looks like she's been cast for a Bond film. She's quite a glamorous woman. She's piled in on the Russian. and just said they were, you know, they were already at war with them.

Just FYI, Frank, quite likes Russians. Oh, really? He likes Russian culture. And he did go through a phase when he liked pictures of Vladimir Putin with sort of livestock. Yeah. But now I've seen, you know, it's like when you see Richard III, the play, starts off he's really, like, colourful and interesting.

And then once he kills the princes in the toe, you think I've been led. I've been led down the wrong path by this monster. When I'm on the tube, I like looking at the people opposite me and thinking that they're all going for an audition to be in James Bond and trying to think of which person would be which. Have you not got any books? That is...

Me and Buzz, my son, used to do this thing that if he went to the theatre and there was two empty seats next to us, we'd try and predict what the people would be like and what age and what they look like and stuff. And we got pretty good, some of them. Oh, I love doing that. One of my favourite, it was older men with slightly unnervingly younger wife. But I don't think we ever actually got one.

But we just became titillated at the idea of them arriving. Get you and your crew to the big show. with Go Transit. Go connects to all the main concert venues like TD Coliseum in Hamilton and Scotia Bank Arena in Toronto, and Go makes it affordable with special e-ticket fairs. A one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel across the network on any weekend day or holiday for just $10. And a weekday group pass offers the same weekday travel flexibility from $30 for two people and up to $60 for five. Buy yours at go-transit.com slash tickets. So Rob, I haven't seen you for ages

because I've been too ashamed to contact you because of what I put you through. Oh my God, you started it on such embarrassing note. Well, no, you did apologise to me though when we... Well, only once. No, when we had been at the lovely eggs gig and we were walking back to the tube.

Yes, we met again in heaven the famous gay club in London. What's going on? Well, look, I'm choosing this moment. No, we are both fans of the lovely eggs. I think you're going to say fans of Oscar Wild. The Lovely Eggs is my favourite living band. Oh, and Rob likes them too?

Well, we also both support them on occasion. So I went to heaven where they were doing a gig, and Rob was the support act. Lovely. Or one of the support acts, I think. They put on a proper show, Lovely Eggs. They put usually two other acts on and they have to be people who they... And is heaven still a gay club?

It is because there was a disco on the way because they were packing up quite quickly there was like, there was a, you know, what you'd expect at heaven. Oh, yeah. On the way. But I didn't, it wasn't a gay event. Okay.

Disco on the way's good, isn't it? I had one thought about, I wonder what that bloc's knob looks like. And that was it. I think that's just because I was in there and it's sort of in the ether. In the Easter. Look, some people cast them in James Bond.

Some people wonder what their not looks like. Yeah. You know, we all have to pass the time. Yeah, exactly. But anyway, yes, did I apologise to you then as well about the play? Yeah. Okay, that's... I like disco on the way.

That's a good name for something. Club night. Anyway. Yeah, disco on the way, yeah. Cut that. When Frank came up to you, does he say, oh, Rob, look, I just want to apologize. again. I think the first thing I said was

that was great. Can I say in case you don't know Rob Orton, I am a genuine fan of his work. He's properly, he's a poet plus on stage but he's genuinely funny but also has made me cry

on stage, which not many people have made me cry on stage. And brought us, and I have to say, this was a great move, Rob. He brought us organic slow-crafted licorice today, it was so embarrassing because before bringing them out, this was awful, this was my moment of shame with Rob, he said, do you like licorish?

Yeah, that's a bad opener. And he said, do you like licorice? And I said, I loathe it. You know what I'm not? I mean, I despise it. I hate licorice. And, oh, I've got you these. Oh, it was liquorish. But that's the first time I've had licorice in my mouth. But this is a company who is trying to reinvent licorice, I would say. Yeah. Unsucceeding. They're called Lackrids in Buello.

I don't know if it's a relation to Klaus von Bulo, who famously was accused of murdering his wife. I remember. Played by Jeremy Irons in the film. Was he gonerated in the end, Frank? Sonny von Buehlo was the wife, wasn't she? Anyway, we don't know. Sonny.

But anyway, Rob. People think I killed you. So that was the theme tune, sung by Jeremy Irons. So you saw Frank, and he apologised. Did you feel awkward? honest when he apologised? No, I don't think so.

I think you just ticked it off, didn't you? It was in your diaries, when the fuck is it? Yeah, maybe today. When he said, I'm going to see the gig tonight, he thought, oh, it'll be the apology. I'm imagining. That'll be that, Don. What have you been up to anyway, Rob?

Because I haven't seen you for a while. Well, this weekend, the curtain was thoroughly raised on my Christmas on Sunday followed a community choir around Nunhead on a pub crawl and then on Monday night went to the Royal Albert Hall

and watched Christmas with the Royal Choral Society Rob can I just say is holding up evidence in the form of a brochure in a programme we thought I'd bet he made off that going to the right Albert Hall

to see the Royal Choral Society I love it you know what he's like trying to impress all the time. So two choral events in a weekend. Yeah. It says Sue Perkins, Compaire and Reader. Okay.

She did. Celebratastic. Really well, actually. Did she sing? No, just a few gags and kept the night going. Yeah. And, yeah, some absolute zingers, actually. Yeah, but I'm a big fan of the roll out, but I'd love to do it.

Have you ever done a gig there? I did. You've done a few, haven't you? No, I just did. I was all. the secret policeman's ball so it wasn't my gig

but I was on the bill at the Royal Albert Hall it's nice it's very in the round which is a bit odd for stand-up comedy I think yeah I struggle with that

how do you feel in the round well I I just spanned for the whole thing is that like that was one in Manchester the exchange or something that's in the round

as well Royal Exchange I took the dervish you know the dervish who spin you were aware of the whirling dervish The whirling dervishes.

What they do is they hold their hand out in front of them and apparently they focus on the thumbnail and they can't see anything else, just the thumbnail. You know when you get someone in a gig who isn't laughing and the entire audience blur except they go into a sharper focus, you do that with your thumbnail. And as long as you keep looking at the thumbnail,

you don't get dizzy. So they spin, spin, spin, spin, spin and it's fine. Well, but no, I loved it. I loved the roll of course, but the thing that struck me the most was the, I mean, I presume you have a favourite, do you have a favourite Christmas carol? Yeah. We were talking earlier about favourite three black and white films. Well, I said, I won't do things on the podcast, Rob, like suddenly I see if you're black and white.

And then you're asking he wouldn't suddenly ask for my favourite Christmas. I think it's probably in the bleak midwinter. That's exactly the one I've got written down here, in the bleak midwinter. I love it because it's from a poem, isn't it? It's Christina Rosetti. Yeah, but in the bleak midwinter, frosty wind, made moan, earth stood hard, as iron, water like a stone. But then it says snow on snow, snow, snow on snow, and I love that.

I just like thinking about loads of snow. Yeah. Quite simple in many ways, but I just like snow on snow, snow, snow on snow. I'm like, yeah, I'm on board. So because I live in central London I only see snow on TV adverts Yeah snow on TV adverts We've got a sledge

Which has barely ever been out of the shed Because we just don't get snow That's the way in London, Frank I like in the bleak midwinter I'm a particular fan of once in Royal David City And I think that's because I associate it With those very posh choristers At Christmas time

I find it's a bit judgmental about agriculture in a lowly cattle shed. It's just a cattle shed. What the fuck do you expect it to be? Can I be honest? That's why I like it, Frank. I think it's a class war thing. Who's looking for on the floor heated in a cattle shed?

Anyway. And stop going on about the virgin thing. We know. Oh, so's you. Yeah. Yes, so. In the, I mean, A Christmas Carol with the word bleak in the title.

I didn't think about it. It's pretty... So that's good. So you settled on your fave after the concert. It's not called a concert. It's what is it called, service, the carol service. Yeah, what do you prefer a service or a concert? Mind your own business.

When did you last have a good service? When did you last get serviced? I tell you, I actually, I don't like concert. I don't like the word concert. I prefer a service. It sounds formal and official, and I like that. And there's a point to it. If I'm playing tennis, I definitely prefer a service.

Imagine if you've got a concert instead. You're all like, you know, they crouch. You crouch at the end of the thing. And you go, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, no, service on. Sorry. I'd love to see that. I'll tell you what I'm looking forward to is that Battle of the Sexies 2.

What's that? Is that one of those Netflix things you watch? Do you remember Billy Jean King played that guy? Well, now they're going to recreate it. Oh, do you know about this, Rob? No, I've heard of Battle of the Sexes. It was when the tennis players. It was men v women, essentially, was it?

Well, he was a bit of a lesser male tennis player. He was a bit of an international playboy. I can't remember his name. Can't remember. I can't remember. But he played Billy Jean King who was the top women's tennis player. Yes.

And, well, should I tell you the result? Well, when did it happen? Spoiler alert. Was it in 1965 or something? No, no, it's a bit later than that. It's late 70s. I think enough times elapsed. Yeah, spoilers.

As she won. Good old Billy. Yeah. Good old BJ. Great blow for one of the first early girl power. things I would say the new one is what's her name is

I'm turning our producer also knows a lot about tennis let me rephrase that used to know a lot about tennis and I looked at her then as if I'd asked her favourite Christmas carol it was one of those moments anyway I want to say Rynard Labuda but I think it was a

West German winger in the old I've got a pair of their shoes as well Salube, Seleube, Seleube, Leibre plays for us, but anyway. Anyway, she's a very, I like her a lot. She's like a big, sturdy East German who's got a sense of humour. Yes, that's his, he likes those ones. I don't think she's East German, she's East European.

Okay. Anyway, so I would balk if someone said to me, do you want to come to see the Royal Coral Society, the Albert Hall? Okay I really wouldn't want to do that No you don't always have to say what you wouldn't want to do No well I do things I'm sure Rob wouldn't want to do Yeah yeah I'm sure

But now do you what which bit of it Don't scratch my bomb Which bit of it All right cheeky girls If they said scratch Would that have put it over the line for IDO1 play If the cheeky girls had said Scratch my bomb

We don't might touch my bomb But scratching is a bridge to far. Exactly. It's the fear of a broken skin. That's why you can't have it on. We don't mind the basic common or garden assault. Oh, the cheeky girls. How lovely they were. Those were the days, weren't they? And that sort of behaviour was

cheeky. Was the song called Touch My Bomb? Yeah. Was it, hang on, was it called Touch My Bomb? Yes, it was. I think it was in brackets, Touch My Bone. What were the lyrics rank? Life is something. Life is shored. Yeah, life is bleak. In a lonely cattle shed.

Life is bleak if you seek rectal skin cells. Touch my bomb. I think that was the worst. Did they refer to mayor? Boom on boom on boom, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It was written by their mother before, you know, it sounds too seet. I think you'll find she was their mother mild.

That's how to refer to it to it. I don't know what she drank. What was her name, Fank? Margit. Margaret was our mother mild. Down to Margaret. You can keep the Costa Brava and all of that palava

I will driver me and my father had a day, there, Margaret, with all the family. Oh, I think I'll go and sell some fruit now off a barrow outside. Frank likes Chas and Dave. Yeah. Do you? I do like, like, I think of them as, country singers for our country.

Would you go to the Royal Albert Hall to see them? I definitely would because one of them's dead and that would be a story to tell indeed. Who died, Dave or Chaz? Oh, I don't know. They're interchangeable in my mind. Oh, that's very rude. Well, that's what happens with double acts. When Badeal goes, there'll be a lot of people leaving reeds

on our doorstep. Hank, so morbid. I think it happens with double axe. Do you? Yeah. You're just become like a companion. to mine horse. What happens with double axes? There's always a sense of the other one

never quite getting over it and being quite sad and forlorn for the rest of their day. I'm honest. Stan Laurel, I wanted to do a program about this. I got very close but it didn't happen. But Stan Laurel,

after Oliver Hardy died, continued to write Laurel and Hardy sketches. Did he? And I would like to do this. them to see what they were like to perform them with you know did he never so they never got with me as well the problem was i look a bit like stan laurel in the right no offense but you do

um but apparently they couldn't approach anyone to play oliver hardy in case they were accused of fat shaming is that right so we couldn't do it yeah but hang on didn't steve kugan do a film with Lauren Hardy, and who played Hardy in that? Oh, some fat bloke. Frank. You ruined everything now. No, I know, but... Wasn't it one of those ones who doesn't mind being approached, like the John Goodman one? There are some ones who don't mind.

Well, yeah, I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Broad-minded as well. Broad-sided. Yeah, exactly. So, I'm just, can we just ask quickly, what would you say, would you recommend? at Christmas with the Royal Coral Society at the Royal Albert Hall. Absolutely, yeah.

But was it a one-off? Is it a run? It was a run. They're doing carols by a candlelight there. But no, just like... Oh, that's flattering. I like candlelight. Yeah.

Much more forgiving lighting. Yeah, a candle's good, aren't they? Cut to the smouldering ruins of the Albert Hall. Do you know I was at the Albert Hall for... Kenny Rogers? Thanks for the tip. That's all right. And they cancelled the gig

because there was a bombs scare. Oh, really? And there was a woman saying to this copper when we left. And it was a bit of a panic. It felt like a real thing. A woman saying, no, no, honestly,

you don't need to cancel the gig. I just had an argument with my boyfriend. I bet it's him. He said he was going to stop. If he couldn't see the gig, I wouldn't see it. either. And I thought, oh, that's just some knockcase. And it was in the paper, like two days later, that they'd had an argument. He'd gone out and phoned in a bombscare. No. And he got

something like two years in prison. Yeah. In a big tantrum. And we were standing outside. Everyone was standing around thinking, well, is it going to happen or not? And Kenny Rogers went past in his limo and I sang, look all yellow's leaving, which is a line from the cacoward of the county. What's the chances of me ever doing that

joke again? Have you ever been in a double act, Rob, close to a double act? I've never been in a double act, no. I don't think I have enough stress for myself on stage. I

think I could take. Maybe it would, Harvey, people do say if they're in a band or something, it's a lot less frightening than being a solo. I couldn't think of a poetic, of a poetry doublet. It's quite an interesting idea. Tim Kee. Well, he's not a doublet. No, exactly.

And he's a comedian and a poet. No, but I mean. He'd be available as part of a dublet. Well, he's too big to work with anyone else, I think. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'd tell you, it was around my own. You weren't too big to work with anyone else. Fielding work calls.

8.30 in the morning. He wears the chaotic, the pretence of chaos well, though. I like that. I don't think we should comment on his clothing. Oh, we love Kiki. So what else, Rob? Anything? On the way here,

I saw, basically I love looking at words all the time and every now and again they just hit you in a different way depending on what mood you're in and I saw the words trespassers will be prosecuted and I thought

who buy and how quickly and you could put that on any building really couldn't you you put that on your home trespassers will be prosecuted all right okay which I thought would be worth sharing maybe not was thinking if you were if you were challenged yeah for trespassing i think i would say forgive us

our trespasses yes as we forgive those who trespass against us the trouble is you get home then there's someone in your garden because you've started a chain reaction have you ever trespassed um yes i have trespassed i have trespassed i was told that trespassing is fine as long as you do criminal damage. Is that right? So although they say trespassers will be prosecuted, they mean trespassers

who break things. I think you can walk more or less anywhere in truth. Really? So I could walk unless it was a security threat. I remember I walked past

Chequers once. You remember him? Checkers please, Pop. I was thinking of chubby checkers. No, Chequers, I've told you, you can't cast him. My chubby checkers. Biopic. Still in the

cupboard. No, I went past Chequers when Theresa May was Yes. There is a public me and my wife do a lot of walking holidays. Yeah. And God, that was a, I never thought. If I heard myself say that when I was 15,

me and my wife do a lot of walking. You are all fucker. Get away from me. I can smell it on you. You can smell the embank. barming fluid. You can, the path goes right next to check us. I mean, you know, it's the residence of the country residence of the Prime Minister. Yeah.

And the public footpath just runs outside. You can sit through the windows. I thought they'd be like barbed wire and electric gates. No. Really? Oh, I might go head down there. You can't. Just what, there's people there's security about, but they don't stop you walking on the park.

Might see Keir in his weekend. You know what I think here is. probably does wear of a weekend. Nothing. That's my guess. Frank, no, be sleazy. I reckon he has. You know those shoes that successful leisure wear shoes, men of a certain age wear,

they're navy or tan, and they have a white soul. Do you know that? They're like a dressy trainer. Do you think he wears them with no socks? Possibly. Very possibly. Then I cannot vote for him again. Why is supposed to be supporting the hosiery industry?

Do you wear socks, Rob? Sox? Yeah, I do, yeah. Okay. Me too. Okay. Do you wear? Absolutely.

Do you wear a liar socks? The socks, you know, that's trying the socks that, when you're pretending you're not wearing a sock. Fucking deceit everywhere we look. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I knew when a change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email

the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.