The Frank Skinner Show - A Tense Week

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

Frank has had an argument thanks to the neighbourhood Whatsapp group and Emily has had an experience at a Sam Ryder gig. There's also chat about a free chair, Chuck Berry and watching the cricket with Tim Key. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio, featuring him and that posh radio, and the one with the French name, who from South Africa came, they're all here open brackets to rain, close brackets, today. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can Instagram. Instagram would be good, wouldn't it, for exams. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Or like a sort of deliveroo. Yeah. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonukk.com. Furthermore, Bacetta, 07457474-1-17679, leave a voice, no trouble line. It's Frank off the radio gold every time. Laf so strong, they should be a crime. Beautiful.

What genre is that? What would we say that is? Billy Joel. Yeah. That was Martin Gardner, by the way. Yeah. My Billy wouldn't have composed that. I mean, I love you, Martin Gardner.

But I would describe that. It's like a disco robot. No, I tell you what it is. Fun robot is singing at me. It's the theme music to a certain type of show. Maybe a makeover show in the 80s. Okay. Did they have makeup?

over shows in the 80s. That's all they had then, late 80s, early 90s. So I'm in a... What do you think of this? Imagine this was Moral Mays. Okay. I get up in the morning. Worst blues song I've ever heard.

To take my kid to school or to the boss. It's so nice you to walk him to school. I'm going to take him to the boss top. That's nice, though. Then I take him to the dog. for the proper walk. Anyway, so I get up and Kat says to me

oh I just look, there's like a neighbourhood WhatsApp thing where people tell, where people used to stand and talk over the garden wall, now they talk on the internet. I have one of these. And they said, apparently your car is parked outside someone's

house and he wants to park so he can charge, he wants to park there so you can He can charge his electric car. He can charge it from, you know, from his... From his house, yeah. Yeah, I said, no, I'm not moving the fucking car. Oh, Frank, why are you so uncooperative?

I said, what do you mean? You're never going to get to pick up leaves on the road at this rate, you know, I would love to park outside my own house, of course. But in our road, it's really difficult. You part where you can. We all start phoning each other and saying, oh, can you mind move in your car? Where does that end?

With people cooperating with each other and being made... Look, there are places. There are places you can, there are little green lights in the thing where you can charge your car, where you have to pay for those. Oh, and he didn't want to. No, he didn't want to pay. Anyway. So you said no, what did Cass say?

Well, Katz always, whenever I say no, Katz says yes. And I say, I'll fuck it then. So I went out, I went out to move the car. And I've never told, if Katz listened to this, I haven't told her this part of the story. I was furious. the bloke for his cheek. It's not that bad, Frank.

It is. It's bloody privilege is what it is. Anyway. I can't imagine anything. If someone was blocking my drive, I'd ask him to move it. Right. So he wanted you to move because he couldn't be bought. He didn't want to have to pay for the charge basically.

He's paying anyway, though. That's what I mean. So why was he, how was he benefiting? I think you're paying more a few years. Oh yeah. No, he's right. You would pay more. Anyway, I don't know the bloke. So... Well, let's keep it that way. Yeah.

So I got out. Oh, I moved the car. She said, I've got to tell him you're moving the car because he's going to move into... Someone else might have the spot. I said, well, let's just do that as an actor to God. Someone else parks there. He can fucking tell him to move it.

Anyway, so I got in the car. I couldn't find... You're not built for this neighbourhood. I couldn't find a space. I could not find the space and I thought now I've moved the bloody car and now I can't

and I thought there'll be probably going down the bus so I turned the car around anyway I found the space parked in it got off right left the car started walking down the round look around I'd parked in the same space

I'd took it out of I'd just put it back facing the other way hopefully he'd come out and see that the car was still there but now in a different day Like I'd done it to taunt him. Anyway, I got back in the car, and I got back in the house.

I myself moved a fucking car. And she said, yeah, I just looked, actually, it wasn't your car. No. She said it's not your number plate on the thing. So, because it was a Lexus like mine. It turned out it was my sister-in-law's car, so incidentally. Did she move there, Rachel? So she phoned her sister-in-law and said,

oh God, I've got a big, massive round with Frank. Got him to move his car. It's not, his Lexus, it's your Lexus. Rachel said, I'm not moving the fucking cock, cheeky bastard. So when I got in, Katz said, I'm thinking that you might have been right about that bloke, because Rachel says it's a real cheek as well. Anyway, so I'd part the car somewhere else.

but I'd parked it and the back of it was I know I'm not sure about the legals on this The wheels were inside the bay But a bit of the actual car The overhang The junk in the trunk is hanging over

Was out, you know that thing Welcome to my life Yeah so I can make that joke So it was just over the line As I think Jeff Hurst said Hang David Badele is obsessed by this

Is he? I've parked with him a few times and he said, but it's hanging out, it's hanging over. Hanging out? He shouldn't bring that up. He gets really obsessive. Very insensitive. He gets very obsessive about it, Frank.

Well, I, so anyway, I thought, it was only just over. And I went in the house and I thought, oh, I'm not easy. I'm going to move it because I'd hate to get a ticket for a little stupid. You won't get a ticket, Frank, it's the wheel. Probably won't, but. Okay. So I thought I'd move it. Go in the kite, it wouldn't start.

The car wouldn't stop. Let me guess needed charging. You're going to have to get back into that auto repair car. It was a reliable car you never had. I knew where I was with that car. I certainly knew where I was. You had a big sign on the side. Yeah, you were in an episode of I'm Alan Partridge.

I tried to get a bloke out to charge my battery. Are you joking? Who was the bloke? Some bloke. So now you're the charger car guy. He looked at me like, you know, any man who lets his battery go for that, he's not a man. I could tell him that he's a bloke. If this was an episode of Kirby enthusiasm, Frank, he would have had to have ended up asking that man to move his car.

So I tell the bottom line is, since I've had my car nicked for the second time, I've had what they call an immobiliser fitted, which makes it much harder to steal. And apparently the immobiliser is sapping the power out of the thing and making the battery go. so they can't steal it unless they can't carry it but I can't drive it and then suddenly they can't steal it because no one can drive it

We've set it with these special square wheels that make it unstealable so I can't move it and now all these yellow signs are up and down the road saying Friday they're chopping the trees down all the cars have to be cleaned from the road I can't move might

so I don't know what would have to call the council and say I can't move mine, I'll have to, there'll be branches landing on it. All because I moved a car that wasn't even mine. Oh, man. And then, and then, I'm going to carry on if I may. You please do. There's a, again, on this bloody WhatsApp thing, there's a chair.

There's a chair come up. Somebody says, I've got a nice chair, if you come and get, it's yours. So my sister-in-law found me, said, there's a, So grandma wants that chair. Can you go and get it? We're at somewhere. So this is your whole life. We're at a ceramics exhibition.

I said, okay, I'll go get the chair. So I turned up at this bloke's house. My car was going now because the bloke had done the battery. I turned up at the bloke's house. And I said I've come for the free chair. How embarrassing. How embarrassing. I haven't got long.

My car's running out of the battery. Exactly. The look. Look was, but surely you're a multi-minute... Never mind that. Where's the chair? Where's the free chair? Who's at the door?

Frank Skinner, M.B.E. After a free chair. Exactly. I didn't come round for an audit. I came round for a chair. Look, you said there was a free chair. There was no mention of means testing. This is the winter fuel allowance all over again.

So anyway, I couldn't get the fucking chair in the boot or anything. This big chair. Well, hang on. Were you in your street? Well, I know I'm in his house. street. Okay, where's his street? Near? Nearish, yeah.

Okay. So I got bars on the back seat with a friend of ours, Molly, and she sat and they held onto the chair so it didn't fall there. Victorian chimney sweep. And I drove back with the boot open

with the car going, uh, uh, like, you know when those blokes that drive through airports with the elderly on those trolleys like one of those folks the car really didn't like having the boot open it's a big like hatchback boot up with this

bloody thing sticking out you imagine if someone saw you god I saw that frank skin he's such an attention seeker yeah exactly yeah I thought I'd be nice of a five-seater car so I got this so did you manage to get a I got it to grandma is it nice because grandma's moving in down our road I've heard about this you're like Michael Owen's family He just bought all the street for his family.

So is the chair nice? Yeah, what does it look like? Purple. It's an purple armchair. Purple armchair? Which I think was a rough draft of the Prince hit. And I said, Prince, look, man, I know you're a genius, but does it have to be a armchair? Yeah.

Release that in 50 years, Prince. Yeah. Purple chair. Yeah, let's just lose the whole furniture. So was she pleased, Sandy Mason? She was absolutely good-like. Oh, well, it was worth the humiliation, Frank. Yeah, exactly.

This bloke's telling that story. Multi-millionaire, come round for a free. Never mind that. Oh, dear. He said, when I went for the chair, this bloke's giving us a really nice chair. And he said, it's a two-man job. I said, that's a bit sexist.

He said, and he started apologising. And then you brought out two children you were forcing to do unpaid labour. Children can work as well. That led to another argument with Kath. Why? Because she doesn't know how to carry your chair, let's face it. There's a skill. What do you mean there's a skill?

Well, you've got to manoeuvre and court. If you're having a free chair from somebody's house, you can't take a big chunk out of the wall on the way out. Yeah, this look like a bloke who wouldn't punch her in the face. He'd sue. Oh, would he? Yeah, he didn't have his shoes or socks on. He looked a bit litigious.

He just looked like, you know, he's a man of the world. So what, Kath can't carry the chair? There's just, you've got to be, there's a way of, you've got to turn, spin the chair round and you've got to make a judgment about legs first. To me, to you? It's a bit like that, yeah. But it did. That was another row. It's been a tense week.

Oh, Frank. But you know what? The important thing is, you got, you got what you wanted. I got grandma's chair. It wasn't even for me. I was doing a good, I said that to Kath. I said, I'm moving that fucking car when we had an argument. I was doing a good turn, is.

Some are undermined by the, the aggressive. Yeah, okay. But, you know, a good turn is a good turn. Never mind the trimmings. So I'm moving a car so some bloke could save 20 pence. Some bloke who lives in a four million quid house could save 20 pence on his electric bill. And then I was getting a free chair for grandma, and both occasions led to a massive row. Is that fair? So what would ESOP say about this, Faber?

In an ESOP story, a chicken laid two eggs in a road, one in a sports. face where another chicken used to lay an egg and one for its grandmother and then the chicken got run over. Is that fair? Says Isop? Question mark and exclamation mark which is the only time

ESOP does that in all his fables. Once there was a purple chair. Frills, delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca.

I need to tell you about my experience. I've been meaning to tell you both about something. You know, I went to see Sam Rider live. I didn't. I love me a bit of Sam Rider. Well, you know you're not going to get Autotune. Now let me get this. That's right.

The voice. There's two people I get, is there another rider? What do you mean? I think I get him mixed up with Sam Fender. No. Sam Ryder is Eurovision Space Man. Yeah, I know. I've met Sam Riders. He's got the red hair, lovely.

Very nice man. And properly talented. He was a download festival. He likes a bit of metal. Yes, he's about to play Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh. Is he really? Do you approve of Jesus Christ Superstar, Frank?

Or do you struggle with it as a follower of the Nelsary? I don't approve of any Andrew Lloyd Webber. At all. Well, that's ever since you took a picture of him without his consent in the audience of something recently. No, well, that is true. But also, I upset him, if you remember, when I told him how to do a better curtain call at the end.

Which was incorporated. Yeah, which he did do after he'd gone on stroppy about it. I took my niece to see Sam Ryder, because I do love me Sam Ryder. He's a talented, he's a genuinely talented man. And actually, Buzz would have been impressed because he's a very, very good guitarist as well. He is, yeah.

And he brought out, it was a lovely thing, which you would have loved, Frank, because he said, ladies and gentlemen, this is Wembley Arena, and he brings out his old guitar teacher. And when this guitar teacher, to play with him, which was a lovely thing, he was everything I wanted the guitar teacher to be. Very Sam, right. Spectacles, old stooped man with spectacles. He had grey curly shoulder length hair. A bit too long.

Oh, yeah. A leather waistcoat. Oh. It was every tick. box you wanted. Yeah. I couldn't have been happier. He was called Mr. Pratt.

He was his teacher at school. Oh man. Are you sure this? It was like, it was like, cast. It was so heartw me, I was almost crying. I loved Mr. Pratt. Mr. Pratt was, I mean, it was the kind of amazing guitar play. Again, you and Buzz would have loved it.

But anyway, as the gig went on, I'm enjoying this so much, I start to get beyond irritated by something. And it's a woman directly in front of me. I was seated, but she chooses to stand. That's fine. as that Australian Prime, was he a minister who said, people who are entitled to their proclivities? Let a thousand blossoms bloom.

That my bloody Valentine gig I went to, there was one woman who I could see in the opposite sort of seating. One person stood up and it was one woman. She looked like Emily Dickinson. She had a long white dress, but quite a tall woman. Oh, amazing, though. And I just could see the faces of like two people sitting behind his view was totally blocked. I don't know if they told

her or whatever. It ruins your night. But people, I think at a gig, if you're going to get up and down, I don't think you can stop that happening. No, I wouldn't have stopped it. As I said, what was irritating to me about this? And I wonder if you all understand this as a, you know, someone who has misophonia. She's

talking to piano. I am. Sorry, yes. It was the repetitive motion of the swaying. It was the way that she was swaying. And I've had this before, Frank. You know about this and I know it's a me problem not a her problem. I mean...

I've had this before in the studio I've had to tell people working on this stop tapping your leg. It's me so can easier. It's a problem. If people are doing constant movements, I can't bear it. So it was driving me mad. She had a t-shirt saying Tokyo on the back. You're sure it's not called dancing.

No, it wasn't. It was something I kept seeing the T and the O bobbing up and down of Tokyo and I thought, I can't bear this. I'm going to have to leave. So I said to my niece, I'm really sorry, Mimi. I know this is intolerant but it's making me feel sick this woman. What? You've got

motion sickness from a woman dancing as a music gig. It was the way she was doing it. Was it quite rapid? It was the way she was doing it. Other people were dancing. Craig Revelhael. What did you say? Is it quite rapid? Yes, it was... Like sort of like

not like headbagging. I imagine it was with the music. Was it though? Anyway, Mimi knows I'm a bit weird. Mimi, you can say that again. She's had this. this before with me at Hamilton when I took her to see Hamilton and there was a woman constantly twirling her hair

and I said I can't bear this I complained to Hamilton because there wasn't someone standing in front of me Frank had a Donald Trump experience Hamilton but yeah I was very so I knew it was my problem but I just had to be away from it so I said look this is my and she said no

she said look at that Tokyo that Tokyo woman is quite irritating by the way she wasn't Japanese she was American I think. She had a t-shirt saying Tokyo on it. I believe she was American. So I said, can we just go and, can I just think about what I want to do? I just need to get away from it. We went to the side and stood there. And the woman in high viz comes over. She says, you cannot stand here. No, you can't stand in the aisle. I said, oh, she said, why are you standing here?

And I didn't know what to say because I knew I was unreasonable. Yeah. I said that. I'm so sorry. I couldn't say. A normal human being. The woman in the hyphenosis said, oh, it's the old repetitive swaying complaint. Do you have misocanesia? So I said, it's just, and I didn't know what to say. She has mesocanesia. She's not Japanese, by the way. Frank, I didn't know what to say.

So I just said vaguely there was an incident and I just decided to call me here. It wasn't an incident. And the woman said, what incident? Oh, no. What incident? I will call security. She's getting a taser out. But they're there for incidents.

I said, no, no, no, don't call security. It's not, it's a me thing. It's not a her thing, but there was an incident and I was getting distressed. Why are you distressed? Was there alcohol? Is Samriders still playing? He's on to Space Man by now. And she said, is there alcohol?

I said, well, she had had a few drinks. I will call security. I said, she wasn't drunk. It's just the incident was distressing me and we're going to move. There were two seats over there. We found some other seats. I mean, weirdly, she swallowed my incident vague explanation. I think she just thought I was a bit unhinged and want to push it. And I sat there and I could relax for the first time,

but Tokyo was out of my sight. But as I was sitting there and Mimi said, do you feel better now? And I said, yes, I do. I just see at the corner of my eye, Frank, a little O, bobbing up and down. It was like a Memento Mori. But how could you... Even in Arcadia, death, there I am. You'll never be free of me.

The bobbing Tokyo woman. Yeah. But how could you see it? Because I'd moved behind five rows, and she was five rows in front. Oh, I see. So, I kind of think it taught me something that incident. Because I'd learned to, I thought I can never get away from this woman. I'm just going to have to, maybe tolerance it taught me.

And then you turned around and she was gone. Once you learned the lesson, she was gone. No, she didn't go, sadly. No. But it's nice to imagine her as a kind of ghost that was there to teach you how to just endure suffering. Well, maybe she was. There was some point. in that I couldn't let go of her.

Yeah. She wouldn't quit. Wherever I looked in that arena, I could see one of those letters on that T-shirt. Oh, that's incredible. Good, good morning. Good, good morning. Good, good morning to you.

Was that your way of saying you find my anecdote boring? No, no. It's a, I'm doing a funeral director's company. That's our jingle. Oh. It's morning with a you No, I'll tell you what, I'll be honest with you I was looking at the jingles here

And we used to have one that was Good Morning Tokyo And I thought that would be a funny one to fly But Frank, I'm not being racist about Tokyo, I promise She was America No, I remember when we went to the Rolling Stones And somebody had one that said Mexico is the shit Oh, he had a sat in warmer jacket With Mexico is the shit

Yeah, that's nice I think it was a compliment That is, that's very proud of Mexico And then we looked up the jacket I looked it up and it was three and a half-ground that jacket. What? Yeah.

It was really, it was... But anyway, I know it was intolerant of me and I felt bad because I potentially ruined it and I've got to get to grips with this in-top, make me so can easier thing. It's not easy though because it's not... You can't attack it rationally.

Do you not get irritated by movements, Frank? By people doing... You know, like by people twirling hair or tapping their feet? Um, a cat's a bit of a hair twirler. And it doesn't bother you? Not compared to all the other things. Frank? Being made to move a car when it wasn't even mine.

You know, that's a strange tale because I just think, I've saying this to Kath a lot. You just have to accept that other people, you know, they don't do exactly what we want them to do. I know, and I wish I didn't react in this irrational way, but I can't help it, Pierre. Yeah, what's the same? with me and sound.

It was a phase where people with long nails went through where to emphasise they would use their long nails to like tap glasses or tap their phone screen. Yeah, surely that drives you mad. People with fake nails tapping on the phone. I would say to them, can you stop that please? Could you please cut your nails? I've got some snippers here.

On the train. No, I don't really have that problem. It's weird because you're quite an intolerant person. But with these sort of things, you're very tolerant. Other things are not. me. Tim Key came around my house to watch the cricket. Oh, how was it? It was lovely. I loved Tim Key

and he's a big cricket fan, but we were watching it like half eight in the morning. He had two fucking work calls. Did he? I kept looking at my phone. But no, it wasn't on silence. There's just no fucking work. Simple as that.

What were the work calls? Do you know? Well, I guess you can't say. No, I can't. It could be toxic. That's all great. Yeah. He's doing very. Very well, Kiki. He is. He's doing very well.

And then, I don't know if you ever add this, and Kathy is the least trad wife of all time. But when men come round to watch sport, sometimes women do this thing, which he did. On the coffee table in front of him, she put two packets of biscuits, some chocolate chunks and a packet of Pringles. Oh, yeah.

It's just that, I once went to someone's house. me and David Padil went there to watch the FA Cup file and his wife had made a cake with the FA Cup on it for us. Oh, wow. That's plastic of them pigment. The men folk will want their refreshments. Oh, man, it was incredible.

Anyway, look, I did Chris McCausland's radio show. Oh, has you got a radio show? Yeah, I think it's series three. And how was it? Well, as you can imagine, it sounds applied to you and things and you have to identify it like that. And it's like, I suppose it's a sort of, whoops, it's like a blind man's view of the world.

Yes. And I was on a team with Diane Boswell from Strictly. Oh, yes. The red hair played. Who dance with Chris. Oh, yes. and obviously they know it. Isn't she married or her partner is someone?

Joe Sog? Yes, very good, Frank. Yeah, and it was interesting enough because she was the only non-comedian and it's difficult, I think, being a non-com comedian. And I met her in the dresser of her. She was very friendly.

But she's quite competitive. Is she? She's a woman who's danced in dance competitions and she was six. And always done well, Frank. Yeah. And so. She was very competitive on the show, which was unfortunate mainly for her.

Oh, why? Because, you know, when people are wrong with tremendous conviction? No. So I would say there'd be multiple choice, and I'd say, I think she can, no, no, no, no way. It's definitely the blah, blah, blah. And I'd say, I really don't think. No, it's definitely, I'd say, okay, okay, you go ahead and we'll do that. The way one lets a child touch the fire.

in order to teach them a life lesson. I do that to you sometimes, always. I think it's because she's a teacher. Oh, yeah. It's all that. She's a dance teacher. But, oh, man. Did you manage to resist being I told you, sir, when she was wrong?

No, I never said I told. Because there was one where I said, I absolutely am certain that this one is correct. She said, no, I don't think so. And I said, I really am. You've had two, and they were both wrong. Let me just have this one. So we did it

And I was right And Chris said You can't imagine her furious Diadis at the moment That bloody Frank Skinner Anyway, it was great It's at the end of it I mean she was, you know

She was very entertaining And all the rest of it And I love strictly So we had lots of chats Anyway So at the end We had a sheet And I want a photo

I want a photo So me Chris and her got together for a selfie and all that. It was very nice. So I had a look at her, whatever it was, Insta or whatever the next day. She'd cropped me out. Are you joking?

Another nail in my career, coughing. Frank, I've got an awful thing to tell you. I think I saw that picture on Instagram this week. Yeah, you probably did. Could you sit my shoulder on it? Your correct shoulder Oh God, I hope I didn't like it That would be awful

That's really funny Why crop Frank? She's never forgiven We forget that answer right Do you know what Frank It's very false stuff I know the not old man Yeah exactly

It is that You deserve better than that Oh a how Oh the prince howless of it all Yeah I can't bear it I'm actually quite angry about this Oh no don't

I love Diane. I adore Chris. I don't know them, but I like the concept of them and I enjoy their work. But don't crop my frank. That's a good phrase. Don't you dare crop my frank. She was very nice. But yeah, she was like pull my leg. You're cropping my frank. Yeah, exactly. You're twisting my melon. We've used it in the S&M community. Don't crop my frank.

Satan's temper. Exactly. We've never found out what that was. Can I ask you, this is a trixie one. I'm going to ask Emily this if I may. This is an etiquette question. Oh, I love an etiquette. A dog owner etiquette. Okay, bring it on.

My dad used to call antiquity. I don't know if you knew that. I love that. Absolutely insisted that that's how you said it. And also Somerset Matham, the writer. Yes. Anyway, so I was taking my dog for a walk. And a couple came, a man and a woman came walking up.

And they had a big black dog. Okay. My dog's quite smallish. Any indication as to the breed? We're talking lab size. Black. That's not a breed, but that's as close. Okay, I'm getting a picture.

I'm the same with cars, if it makes you feel any better. I say to the try, if I got an Uber, you part by that blue one. And you'll say, what do you mean, the toy out? I don't know. Yeah. Colorblind. What? Anyway.

Big black dog. This black dog really started chasing Poppy in a, that kind of way. Was it on a lead? No. So Poppy's quite fast, especially when she's being pursued by a terrifying big dog. And it was horrible. She was really frightened. Anyway, in the end, the dog gave up, couldn't catch her and came back.

And the owner said, oh, God, we're so sorry, sorry about her. And I thought, should I say to them, you know if it had caught the dog, I don't have had to have kicked it until it got off. You know what I mean? I might do worse. Well, I mean, I would kick it to death if it came to it. I wouldn't want to do. I wouldn't want to do that.

But you've got to, you know, it's a dangerous animal. Yeah, it's like Russia and Ukraine. You have to give them the weapons. But I thought, I'll say this to Emily and she'll say, no, no, you shouldn't do that, you know, because, I mean, what are you supposed to do? Be a bit distant with the owners, why that one's written. I would have gone absolutely mental.

Exactly, yeah. I mean, he didn't catch her. But I just thought, am I supposed to say her romp as I remove the collar from a blood collar. had caught. Yeah. No, I mean, I say I would have killed

the other dog if I had to. And maybe even the owners. I would say, I would have started with the owner because it's, Ricky Jervais told me this when we went, he came on my podcast,

he said, it's always the owner, it's never the dog. He said, look, if someone's walking towards me and they've got no teeth, I'm going to think maybe you're not going to be able

to look after a dog. But I, and you've got a can of special brew. But I do think, why does that owner don't have big dogs off the lead if they don't have proper recall and they're not behaved? No, absolutely, I'm so team frank on this. Yeah. Okay.

You should have gone for the owner because I don't blame the dog. They were very nice to the owner. And it was a woman and a man from an ethnic minority, so my, you know, my hands were tied. Why didn't you chase them around? What do you think I am? What did they say when, did they say? when, did they say I'm really sorry? They said I'm really sorry.

Well, sorry's not going to bring my dog back. Well, a dog was still alive because the dog gone. I don't know. If the dog had caught, I say I would have kicked it today. It would have took me 20 minutes to get to the scene of the crime. Oh, my dog, man, really, I didn't know she could move that fast. Really? Oh, good on her.

Yeah, God, she really shifted. If you don't have a dog, you can recall on command, it should be on. lead. Yes. Well, I had a Rotweiler coming straight for Ray once. And the owner shouted out to me, grab him then, grab him. What, grab the Rockviler or your dog?

About the Rockviler? And I was holding Ray in one hand. He meant, you should grab him. Why didn't you stop him? I said, I'm not going to lunge my hand into a Rotweiler's mouth. There was a guy freaking people out in a vestibule once with a massive dog.

Was that, I'm trying to remember, but they don't realize how to... Isn't that the one who had snorbitz? I don't know. Well, Bernie Winters. Yeah, Bernie Winters. See, in a vestibule. I love any anecdotes that in a vestibule.

Remember the first time I heard the word vestibule was in a chockberry song called My Dingling, which was a sort of a... The word vestibule is in my dingham. Yes. Then when I started, and then when I started school, yeah, I started school, I stopped off in the vestiblingling. Although, Frank, I had a real letdown with Chuck Berry this week. What? Well, I was in my garage, and he plays motor-themed songs. Yes.

So I had run along my automobile. Just carry up and fix the handbrake, mate. But what was interesting, well, it was terrifying. I didn't sing that when I was moving that car, by the while. You know. I always thought, he said, you know, he said, my baby beside me at the wheel and then he says I ventured to tell her the way I feel

is what I thought he said and I always respected Chuck Berry for using the word ventured which seemed in that context slightly poetic. I'm just trying to remember, no what he says. I then realised it wasn't that because I was singing along to it and it wasn't. I was anxious to tell her. Oh anxious to tell her the way I said. So for years I thought it was ventured. It's really put me off

Chuck Berry apart from that other video which we won't talk about is discussing. No well that was older then. What do you mean? He was old enough. No excuse for that behaviour in a sauna or wherever he was. It wasn't in a sauna. It was a hot tub. It was a bath.

Oh no, that was a very odd. I thought he meant the general use of videos in his hotel. Oh, I don't know about that. He had hidden video cameras in his hotel. Oh my God, I didn't even know about that. Yeah. Yeah, we've all been let down by Chuck Berry, morally. Yeah.

Well, never mind that. What about the poor woman ride along on the automobile? The weird thing was when he got to court. He stole the kiss at the turn of a mile. When he got to court, he wasn't at all anxious to tell them the way he felt. He was very keen to deny it, in fact. Oh, Chuck, great man, the poet laureate of rock and roll. Truly.

Anyway, the next episode of Frank Skinner's radio days is out on Wednesday. Our best bits are still from 2011. Okay. We are as the hair. Yeah. No, the tortoise. Oh, God, it was a 50-50 shot and I bossed it all. Esau's going to be living.

He's off, yeah. You can never hear the end of it? He's up saying, can we do that again? I don't like the writer in the room. I've told you that. He wouldn't say, can we do it again? He'd say, once there, once a kid backer. And a fox didn't.

Oh, man. This time I've been to, this is what it's about. I've been to a party thrown by the Archbishop of Canterbury. Oh. You're still getting those invoits, too. No, I don't think I haven't heard anything from The Lady. Oh, yeah, the Lady now, Frank. Yeah, yeah.

Progress. Catholic Church, only about 600 years behind. It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, it's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frank off the radio at avalonuK.com.