The Frank Skinner Show - Arguing Inside a Virtual World

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Johnny White Really-Really! Frank has been enjoying the Winter Olympics and Johnny shares his current obsession. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the radio, Frank Off the radio, Frank O, it's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Happy and I'm smiling, walking miles to drink your water. A bit strange. Keep your hands off my water. This is, oh, that reminds me. Remind me about water in a minute, I'll tell you something that happened to me. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean, and Johnny White Really, Really is back.

Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalon. Avalon. Frank Off the radio at Avalon UK.com. Don't edit that smoothie out. That'll make a lot of people feel better as life is an error. And Adam, our sound engineer, is now about to randomly pick one of our WhatsApp jingles. 7-7-6-9-0-0-0-4-5-7-4-1-7-6 now

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I, um, now, Water, I did a, I do a radio for panel show. Of course I do, I'm in my 60s. I've had good things about it. There was someone on it. I don't want to preempt. It's called one person found this helpful. And there was a bit about someone bought something

and the mouthpiece smelt of urine. And I said, and I set this up by saying, I'm about to do a joke that no one would get, but I'm going to do it because I think it's actually quite good. So the mouthpiece is covered in urine. I wonder if they brought it from Sarah Miles. Yes, I got that joke. There you go.

Sarah Miles was a actress. A very successful actress. She was in Ryan's daughter? Was she really? Okay. And, well, you know, it was all kept quiet in those days. But she, since the 70s, has very much, being an enthusiast of drinking her own urine.

Evangelical about it? Yeah. For what reason? Health. Oh. We both said that rather offensively, health. Yeah. We were part of her tribe.

Health. Not for that little zing you get at the end. No. She used to go on things like Wogan or whatever or chat shows and talk about it. I mean, I think she got really fed up of being asked about it. She did, yeah. It was her three lines. Frank. Wogan actually

he sat her down and went you only drink pies. She got really stroppy about it. Massive stropp. What's it supposed to do that's good for you? I'm not thinking about it, I'm just curious. I don't know, Frank. What do you think

urine would do that was good for you? That question for Frank Skinner on our panel. It depends in my drinking days. I could see no hint of anything other than than water there. I mean, if you got desperate in the desert, would it help?

Oh, that, yeah. Would that count as sort of? I suppose, you know, it's the gift that keeps on giving because you keep reproducing it. The perpetual motion machine. Yeah, it'd be like, you know, we know chefs do a reduction. It would be like that.

I'm not, don't try this at home, guys. Yeah. I tried water sports once with a... Frank? Well, it was consenting Adolf. What are you talking about, telling us this? What do you mean? The only place you can do it is in an empty bath, really.

I don't know. Why are you telling us this? I don't know if you've ever got naked into an empty bath. I don't want to know. It's fucking freezing. In the end, I was looking forward to the urine just for the warmth. I'm looking forward to this being over. Okay, we'll stop now.

It's the worst thing you've ever told me. That can't be right, can it? No. No. You're being ridiculous. Speaking of warmth and lack of it, I've been watching the Winter Olympics. Are you loving it?

We're a big Winter Olympics family. Do you watch it, Johnny? I do. What's your favourite? Oh, the curling by a mind. Oh, do you like the curling? I would, if match of the day was curling instead of football, I'd happily watch it every week.

Oh. I cried at the curling. Really? I really did. There's a couple, a mixed doubles thing. It's curling a bit like ice hockey or something. Nothing like that. Okay.

It's like marbles. Oh, marbles, okay. Yeah, it's a bit like that. Yeah. But they do this, you know, to make the stone, if it starts going along and it looks like it's going to fall short, they brush in front of it, furiously, and it goes faster. And it's not often...

That's what you've done for young comics laying the path for them. Well, I've tried not to. You're the curler? Help them. But I really, I really enjoy a guilt-free opportunity to enjoy women sweeping. And that's exciting. That's why men like the curling. They know they can't watch the volleyball now because they get in trouble.

We've rumbled. Oh, no, you can't watch the beach volleyball. Oh, me. If I walked in and saw you watching when she's being that a bit weird. I don't think I could watch it. What about the, do they have winter volleyball? Bit cold for the girls. I've never heard of winter.

But men wouldn't go to that because the girls are being their jumpers and stuff. These weren't jumpers, Frank. When they had a beach volleyball, they put sand in them. You know that bit where they did the trooping of the collar? They filled that with sand. And they had a volleyball thing there. It's sold out in seconds. Who's going to that?

Well, we know they're all creeps. And they're all wearing track suits. We know that game. Well, anyway, but I, they went in the last winter Olympics. Lovely man. We never know, do we? No, he's not. I still see him basically as a stranger.

Frank. This guy hasn't got a water sports bone in his body. Well, again. But anyway, I forgot what I'm saying now. You're talking about beachball. That's the most unreasonable thing you've ever said. You were talking about beach volleyball and curling. Jen and Bruce, it were the mixed doubles curling.

The previous Winter Olympics, they finished fourths, said just missed her. It happened again this time. And Jen said a really great thing. He said, oh man, so top. They were both got it. And the interviewer said, it's what's particularly bad, of course,

is that this happened to you last. time you just miss out on a medal. And she said, yeah, that that is tough because we'd been playing so well earlier in the week and then we just, you know, we let ourselves and everyone else down. And then she said, and actually I'm going to leave it there because I don't want to cry ugly. And I thought, what a great thing. Because like I was saying on the last podcast about crying on Michael McIntyre, people love

that. But crying ugly. It's a different. When you start going, and there's not coming out yet. No one wants ugly cry. Yeah, and I thought that was a really great point that she made. I might watch, so what, I'll tell you what I like.

I don't know if you watch it, Johnny, but I like, what's it called, Frank, the impressive, the high, the ski jump, where they did the telemark landing. I like that, all that. What I don't like is the straightforward downhill skiing. Is that called slalom? No, slalom is when they go in there, this one.

But when they, it's like speed skiing, they just go down a mountain as fast as they can. Well, you know. Luge? Yeah, all that's good. I like the skiing where you have to go down a handrail. Do you know that one? Yeah. They have seen that, really.

You have to hold on to a handrail. No, you have to ski down a handrail. And then you have to do a backflip. Is that like an inclusivity thing or something? Why is there a handrail? Inclusivity. Yeah, with a handrail. No, it's just, you've seen kids in.

What do they call those things? Wheelis are there, those trainers? Oh, yeah, Helis. Heelis. Una Heelis. And you can actually go down a handrail on them if you get it right. Oh, I see. I've not sit.

Oh, I'm going to start. The other thing is, like I say, you know, there's a lot of breaking down of the current trends in that you can, as well as cheering women sweeping, you can also utterly, the opening ceremony ought to be called the let's not get too upset about stereotypes ceremony. It's in Italy. So there was pasta, opera, Roman centurions.

It's like the whole anti-stereotyping thing is at the window. Was there an opera singer? Oh, course. Okay, was the Domino family in attendance? I didn't see that. Okay, they usually do turn up to an Italian gig. Yeah, there was a lot of things.

I might start watching it. Clash. It's a bit late now, but it's on for a bit longer. Maybe I'll get into it. It's brilliant. Who presents Winter Olympics? Mainly Claire balding. I've quite watching the ski jump before.

Do you like the ski? What's your favourite landing? Tell them off. It was, I've got a Polish friend. It was like very, very late at night he was showing me old YouTube clips of ski jump from Polish television in the 80s. And they were saying, what they're saying is fly, fly for Poland. And they made me cry.

So hang on. You make you cry? Yeah. So hang on, he came out, did he come round to you and say, I don't want to do an impression of his accent, but he came around, he said, oh, Johnny. You can't do that one, can you? Can you do Polish?

I think you can. I don't think they're oppressed. Well, my builder, Pavell certainly isn't. About money, I'll leave him in my freezer. Did he say, you'll rather have accents than me, Frank. Can I come, what I'm want to know is, did he, was that part of the offer? The evening. Can I come round to you so we can watch some 80s videos of,

Polish ski jump. I mean, that's a bit weird. It was a long and torrid evening of having a really fun time and it ended up at like six in the morning with us watching these videos of the ski jump. Were there substances? That sounds a bit dodgy to me. Six in the morning.

I would never ask Johnny White. It's really, really about substances. Well, alcohol must have been in place. Was alcohol prison? Yes. Oh, yeah. Burn you a tidily bit, just, you know. A tidily bit?

Okay. Okay, I like your Polish friend. Yeah, he's a gardener. What's his name? Bart. Bartosh. Okay, Bartosh Janik. He's moved back to Poland, actually. So, in case you were hoping to meet him.

Oh, okay. Let's not push it, Johnny. Let's not go mad here. So he actually did fly for parliament. He's taken the advice, literally. Who's doing the best in the Winter Olympics, Frank? Or doesn't it really work like that? I don't focus much on the medal table in the winter Olympics

because we don't get many. Do we not? No. Because we're quite good. We've caught up with all that lottery funding. We haven't caught up in the Olympics. In the main Olympics, we've got up there. That's the thing I wish they'd stop.

Is people been interviewed and thanking the fucking national lottery? Why? You're so mean-spirited. Why? I know, but everybody says it. Well, that's because they mean it. That's one of the worst reasons to say anything. Oh my God.

Anyway, it's brilliant. I'd recommend it to you, people, out there. Okay. I will stop watching it. Well, you still can. I mean, I miss the days of, I used to like those, I like that old school sport presenters. And I love balding, don't get me wrong.

Huge fan of Balding's work. But I like those funny old men. Do you know what I mean? I miss those funny old men. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm doing my bit. So on, go on I'd watch it.

My dad presented the Olympics Of course he fucking did. He presented everything. I know he did. But this was in Australia. When would this have been, Frank? You're good at Olympics. I can't, would it have been Moscow?

It was about, what have been? Did you know that Emily's dad is Richard Madele? No, he's not. He's not as clever as that. It was called Mike Dean. And he did some very high bro. Remember when he used to be intelligent stuff? telling.

Oh yeah. Like kind of Clark's civilisation. Yeah, he did stuff. And do you know it's my greatest tragedy that you never

got to know, Frank, because you would have actually gotten very well, isn't it? No, I think we would have gone well. Yes, there you go. Oh, it got unexpectedly

emotional there. I think he was the eloquence in the room. Yes, I love that. I want to ask Johnny something, Frank. Because Johnny... Keep it straightforward.

He let something... That's my advice. He let something slip earlier? Did they? Well, I thought it was the drains. Oh, wow.

He let slip. Johnny let slip that he'd been a teacher. Oh, yeah. And I'm fascinated by the teacher because prominent used to be teachers. Who do you go to? I go to Greg Davis.

Yes. Rommish? Was he a teacher? Well, obviously not prominent then, but yes, he was. Was he really? Stings. Sting was a teacher

Oh yeah, young teacher No, Frank, that's not what that... No, Frank, that you're taking it a bit distasteful there. Well, I didn't write it. No, I know. Don't shoot the mess. That's so close to me. He shouldn't have written that. We all agree that now. Well, I can't remember the lyrics. There's some dodgy bits in it, but you know...

Well, I think the issue was she wants him so badly is a little bit victim-blamey. Okay? Okay. I can't tell you. It's hard to write a song now. I don't know if people do it. Johnny, you didn't, obviously,

we'll get off the subject of don't stand so close to me. What was your, so you were a teacher? I was a primary school music teacher. Oh. For five years. Adorable. And what did they call you? Did you earn a suit?

No. I don't think so. I thought not. Hey, guess what? Frank was a teacher. Well, I taught in a college of F.E. Because I didn't have teaching qualifications. What's FFE? Further education? Further education, yeah.

Is that like university? No. Okay. It's for people who basically fucked up their A-levels. I have another go. But I liked, I enjoyed it. It's hard work. Yeah.

I have tremendous... Respect. Just a little bit. Walk. Talking to me! I have tremendous respect. Pantera. For teacher, Pantera.

Yeah, I do. No, I was just an instrumental music teacher, but I was there, I had, I had, somehow... She only did instrumentals. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Did you talk to them at all? Or just played music? I took the drums and I taught the guitar.

Frank, your series gone off, Frank. Oh, me Siri. Thank you, Siri. It says you are about 83 feet above sea level. It does say that. That's all very well, Siri, but why bring it up? That's my... I'll put it on what I like to call aeroplane.

Why are we 83 feet above sea level? I don't know. I'm going to find that out with... I'm going to ask chat GPT later to see if it was accurate. Okay. Yeah, I took the recorder, the piano and the drums, and would take the choir sometimes. What did you do with naughty children?

Well, I got a lot of those on the Friday afternoons. The school was quite a big primary school, and it seemed to sort of to be, there was a lot of stuff going on. There was a lot of scope for kids to just be wandering around in the afternoons. Let me guess, you had this slightly older stagged do coming into your class. And so over the course of the, the last years of working there, there were kids that would just start wandering

on a Friday afternoons and then they just come every Friday. So I got the sort of naughtiest kids. Kids who shouldn't have been there? It shouldn't have been there. But it was too, I don't know, it was very, it seemed very poorly organized. That's the trouble with that recorder.

It's like Hamlet. You start playing out the kids follow you anyway. But it was good, yeah. I liked him as quite a bit dispiriting teaching. the same opening kind of few pages of a beginner recorder book for five years. But that really gets

to you after a while. But it's your own fault for doing it. Is that what you said to the children? No, that's what I was saying to myself. How's your recorder now? No, but not. I never progressed past the first couple of books. I didn't need it.

Actually, sometimes kids would get better than I was and then it would be... I think the trouble with music though, is that some children. That's good, though. Isn't that the sorcerer's apprentice? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Don't you think some children are more naturally gifted with music than others? Definitely.

Do you think? So then that seems somewhat cruel. I speak on behalf of the recorder losers who still can't move on from textbook one. I'm just saying have some sympathy for them. Oh, no, they're absolutely fine, though. Overall, I did enjoy it, but, but you can't, I don't know. only so long you can be playing like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, before you start to feel.

Peace pudding, hard. And then kids didn't know what piece pudding was, so that had to be. Teets and the can I was more. Peace pudding actually got cancelled in the 70s. What is piece pudding? Peace pudding is some sort of lentils. No, no, it's a savoury.

I've never ate it. It's a sort of a lentily, based pudding. Maltch. Yeah, it's malt. I'm pro-mulch, I don't know about you. What else have you been up to currently, Johnny? Well, me and my girlfriend, this is,

you're going to be your guys, this idea of an unending hell, I think, but we've been playing a cooperative farming game on the PlayStation. Hold on a minute, what was it called? Stargey Valley. No, he's, you're thinking. No, I played one that was like, supposedly for, Monopoly for non-capitalist. Oh, no, this is like a, was it a farm?

No, this is. What's the farm game? It was about, it was about, I'm going to use the word agrarian, not knowing what it means. I'm being honest. It's about sort of an agrarian economy and you could barter, you could swap corn for. Oh, I rather like that. Well, this is, yeah, you're growing crops and we play out on the split screen, me and my girlfriend. We played it for 40 hours.

It tells us how long we've been. What? 40 hours. How much, when you're your Olympics you could have watched with your Polish friends. It just touched up the time. Not straight through. No, no. 40 hours.

How many hours stints do you do? We did one that was like 10 hours. 10 hours, Frank, on the video games? The days in it are about 10 minutes long. And you just get lulled into, you just think, well, tomorrow we're going to get some more seeds. But then it's sort of mimicking. Johnny, can I just remind you how depressing that is? Tomorrow we will get some more seeds.

Imagine if that was on your to-do list. You'd consider yourself a failure in life. It's kind of mimicking normal life. Do you know that the chairman of the All-England Tennis Club was saying that exactly to me last week. Lee's prang. You can fish on it. So my girlfriend said,

Zoe said to come meet her at the beach and get a fishing rod from a cabin. But I was like, I'm nearer the beach and the cabin. I'll just bring her my fishing road. Charlie, you're not near the beach. When they're flat. She said she wanted us. to both our fishing roads, so I'd kind of messed up.

And she said, well, why didn't you just do what I asked originally rather than trying to modify it? And it just became like a normal argument. How is she saying this truth? Inside this virtual world. It's good that you're arguing about things that haven't happened. Actually, I did that quite long. Are you arguing?

Like me doing the dishwasher, for example, a thing that didn't happen. Are you arguing, I just want to establish, Frank. Is Johnny arguing with his partner on the screen, like typing the argument? And then we're doing it together. In the room. It's on screen. I thought it was a board game. No, no, it's on screen.

No, no. I've gone off it. Have you? Oh, yeah. You know, fuck off. Frank, you can't just tell people to fuck off like this. I'm not telling Johnny to fuck off. You still did.

I'm telling that, that, the concept of that to fuck off. I know. Why don't you like it, Frank? What's it called again? Stardue Valley. Stardue. I can't even fucking say it. You know what, Frankie?

He's like the dad in a sitcom when the daughter says she's pregnant. I'm pregnant. You're what? If I thought that was a board game, I'd have said that perfectly well. As it was, it's stock in my throat. It's cyber nature. So hang on, can I just establish in the video game, your role is to buy seeds. And farm and grow them, you can sell the crops and the seasonal...

Why did you need the fishing rod? You're fishing as well. You can sell the fish. Oh, so you're not... Because if you... If you give a man of fish, you feed him for a day. But if you give him a fish in one, he ends up killing his wife.

He ends up taking it to round mode. He's sort of building a life there, you know. Well, I prefer the, what is it, call catch and throw policy personally. Yeah. I'm a fan of that. It's, I know it because I watch Vinny Jones in the country all weekend. And it turns out that's what Vinny does

because he has a farm now. And Vinny does it, when he does it on the show, He does it in a very performative way, which I love. He's going, we better put that back now, that fish. He invited me to his... Is he an island? No, he's bought... He invited me to some land of his in Ireland.

Are you thinking? Why didn't you tell me I'm obsessed with Vinny Jones? This is years ago. I didn't. I was too frightened. No, he's a nice man. I'm not frightening that way, but frightening. He said it'll be great.

Theo Fennell. It'll be there. I had no idea of that. Do you know who that is? Jula. Father of Emerald. who was the director of Wuthering Heights. I thought it might have been a character from the Herbs.

Do you remember that kids' TV show? You know that Emerald Fenella's the daughter, don't you think? I don't know who she is. She directed Wuthering Heights, Salt Burn, obviously young woman, etc. Okay, all things I would never watch even if I was trapped in a burning house where that was the only alternative.

I'd rather watch my arms bubbling. Could happen soon. Yeah, could do. So Johnny, okay, so this game, will you continue buying the seeds? Absolutely. Yeah, we're just about to get it so the bus starts working and we can go to a different bit of the idea. You have a bus? Well, yeah, but it's not working.

Why would you mean it's not working? We've got to provide, we've got to get the community centre to back up and running. Right. Community centre? Who lives there? Well, no one that is in doing it. It's in disrepute currently, but if you get it back up and. Do you mean disrepair?

Disrepair? Disrepute? What's been going to do in there? Sex workers. Yeah, did you hear about Mr Arnold? Oh, he was taking a while on Friday. Don't say disrepute, Johnny. Disrepair.

Okay. And there's sort of ghosts in there and stuff. Ghosts. Yeah, yeah. And now if you can fix it up, the bus starts working amongst other, you know, amazing things that will happen once we fix it at this community. You have to fix a community centre up. That's the hob.

In order to get a bus? To get the bus and then the bus, I think... That seems a very unreasonable transaction. The way they put it, it's perfectly reasonable. Is they? Big Brother. The bullet boards and the... Can I just... In the midst of this, I just remember how much I hate coffee.

Oh, perfect. I was drinking coffee and I thought, this is... I'm fucking... Found Sarah Miles. Can she send me an alternative? Well, I think what happened is you felt you. You had to drink coffee. You weren't raised on it. And you felt you had to drink it maybe to fit in.

I'm not kidding you. I drank it pre-podcast as a perk, as a sort of a pick-me-up. Really? Yeah. He's gone off it. Anyway, this game, I'm not sure I'll be getting involved. I just don't like the idea of having to build community centres. You can come to work in the farm if you've played.

Have you met me? That's not going to happen. What's Frank going to do on this game? Yeah, you could turn to the animals. I don't like animals. Frank, that's such an awful thing to say. There's a mine. I don't mind them.

I don't mind them when they're supporting Cass. I don't like them in the main. No, he doesn't like them being central. That's why he doesn't mind Ray on my podcast. Because Ray doesn't bark, which is handy. Yeah, there is that. Okay, well, Frank won't be playing that game. I might, Johnny. You never know.

Can I tell you something, by the way, that really... Can you imagine Johnny as a professional comedian, how much this distress me. I got interviewed, and we've all done it, I got interviewed by the Westminster Abbey Journal. At the Abbey? I was interviewed by the Dean. Wow.

Humdrum days in the humdrum ways. Humdrum dee. Do you know that song? The Dean and I. I could have written it about our relationship. Is he nice the Dean, Frank? Very nice. But he, they asked.

me about poetry and I said, look, I like, you know, serious poetry and stuff. I said, but sometimes I said, I think you can find beauty in any poem. And I said, Ogden Nash wrote a poem. He wrote some poems about his view of the various parts of New York. And there's one. I said, it's just two lines. And I just think there's so much brilliance in it. And it's, it goes, the Bronx, no thunks.

Yeah. And they wrote it as the Bronx, no thanks. in the article. Oh my God, that's the worst thing I've ever heard. That's awful. Cath was furious as well, mainly because the journal almost hit her when I threw it across the room.

That's awful. It is awful. Are they going to print a retraction? I don't know. You know, Anglicans. Everything's a little bit wrong. You don't want to fall out with the ecclesiastical community.

They've been good to you over the years. Do they wear the dog? Frank, don't say that in the church. It's not the church. Oh, okay. It's, you know, it's one of the splinter groups. You've changed. Does the dean wear a dog collar, Frank?

Oh, God, yeah. Okay. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. He wouldn't have made that joke before the misprint. I should say, I've had a letter, an actual letter. All right, never changed. Remember these? From Leslie Maguire of South Ayrshire.

And it says, hi, Frank. Something I personally don't like, as I always say, what am I in glee? Anyway, on a trip to Vermont last autumn, I like it so far. So do I. Very, is that right Christmas? Is that winter in Vermont? Winter in Vermont. I visited the Robert Frost.

Stonehouse Museum, Robert Frost, the poet. Roadless travelled. It's not actually called that. No. But that's what people know it as. Having learned from an episode of Frank Off the Radio that you like a novelty pencil, I picked up a pencil bearing a line from his poetry. Two frank things combined.

The line is the woods are lovely, dark and deep, which probably is probably his best known. I actually did a, or I was a guest on an entire Radio 4 show with Michael Simmons Roberts and Jen Hadfield that was just about that one poem. Now I've got it on a pencil. Fantastic.

I've also enclosed what we in Scotland used to call a dabbity. A dabbity. What do you think a dabbity is? A dab or tea. I like it. No, dabbity is one word. D-A-B-B-I-T-Y. Small rap of speed. No. Johnny.

We've heard enough about your You've heard enough about your rib-old anecdotes with your palis friends. I like Johnny better when he was a stranger. Well, old friend. He's going to start talking about drugs. Yeah, but the young people always will. Anyway, I've started a farm now and helping the community. I've enclosed what we in Scotland used to call a dabity.

I think the young folk today would call this a temporary tattoo. But isn't a dabby? I love it. Brilliant. So thank you very much. for that much out of prece autumn as I believe they said in ancient Rome yes yes they did

Frank can I just share something with you you were recently talking about a bass player that you'd encountered I met a bass player at a party at a party and I explained every time I meet a bass player I always say what's it do

the bass I can never hear it I can never identify it and a lot of this is an example of something that our listeners absolutely loved this. We had so many people getting in touch about this bass player. Ideeing him, if you're

comfortable with that. Oh no, I didn't keep his name. No, well, Smithy, I was wondering if Frank knew the name of the bass player. You didn't mention him, you see, on the show. He's called Guy Pratt. This is what they're all saying. They've all guessed it's Guy Pratt. If not, I think it's Guy Pratt. He plays

with Pink Floyd as well as loads of other bands. He does Rockonteurs podcast. I like Rock Ones. rock-on-tours with Gary Kemp. Oh, of course he does. Another bass player. Gary Kemp, who has an extensive collection of the yellow book. You know that thing that Aubrey Beardsley and Oscar Wilesland is writing?

Oh, really? He's very cultured, old Gaza, isn't he? Oh, you said a mouthful. Greg has also got in touch. The bass player you were talking about is Guy Pratt, his dad, Mike Pratt. Do you know Guy Pratt? I don't think so. Frank will explain, but also Greg says his dad Mike Pratt played the part of Jeff Randall

in the detective series Randall and Hopkirk deceased. Well, he didn't mention that, but I looked him up after. Oh, did you? You know when you meet someone, it's always good to look him up just to sort of beef up the anecdote of it. Yes. And yeah, his dad was one to whom Kenneth Cope used to say,

only you can hear me, Jeff. Only you. Oh, is that, do you know Randland and Hopkirk deceased? Yes. Because, Jim, Vic Reeves and, was it, Mom Mortimer did a version of it? It was. Yeah. Anyway, Mike Prattles. It's about a ghost. About a man whose friend dies and accompanies him as a ghost.

And I do like those two, but I just, I draw the line anything ghost related. Well, the ghost is, but just, but just, just, well. I just think it's silly. Yeah, but they're not. I can't take it seriously. They don't play to sort of, they're not in a sheet going, ooh, they're just wear white clothes. I don't care what they're wearing. It's a bit like if you're just

hung out with Colonel Sanders which I'd be happy to do personally. I just, I'm out the minute I see, I mean like with horror films Frank and I have this thing. Do you like horror films? I do quite like him, yeah. I do find him quite scary. Yeah, oh, rude. I've never heard anyone say that.

You know what, Johnny? No, you come to mention it. I am quite scary. I have started to find him quite scary. How do you find pornography? I don't want to know how he finds pornography. It's your partner just right. He finds it in privy, like the rest of us. I know that I don't do that anymore.

No, we do Brazilians now. Yeah, oh, we can't. Sorry, does your partner like horror films? No, his partner might be here, I think. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Johnny's partner's outside, just so everyone knows. Is she? Well, Roshin Connissie's here about to do her podcast,

and I think the partner works on it. The partner, that was weird. Your girlfriend is in the building. Yeah, yeah. He's not commented on it. Fucking weird. Why did you say fucking weird? That's so aggressive.

It's like 43-year-old men, but the doctors were their mothers. It's like that. She's doing something else. It's a weird coincidence. This is a million to one shot. Isn't it weird that your girlfriend is doing a show? It is a bit odd.

Do you know what I'm going to go up to her and say, What the hell's going on at this community centre? Why is it falling into a state of, I quote, disrefuge. You know what? An house of ill refute. I'm going to grab her forearm and say, I can't believe you have to put up with the fishing rod. I mean, why didn't he just do what you fucking said?

Don't worry, I've got the seeds. Yes. Frank. Yes. So look, thanks. Great to see you, Johnny. Thanks very. much guys thanks for having me back um it was a joy

the next episode of frank skinner's radio days remember that is out on wednesday we're in 2012 for our best bits this time i have a very big announcement do you we'll find out yeah it's the frank skinner podcast a new winter change is blowing it's the frank skinner podcast I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.