The Frank Skinner Show - Blood Moon

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

Frank has been to a book event and it's reminded him of a report he was given in school. There's also chat about lunar events, smoking on planes and using AI. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Featuring him and that posh ladyo And the one with the French name From South Africa came They're all here open brackets to rain Close brackets today Deo This is Frank off the radio I'm joined by Emily Dean and Piano Valli

Follow the podcast on X and Instagram You can email the podcast via Oh, I've just spit on it now. It's all right. It's laminated. What a star. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio Avalon UK.com. You can WhatsApp us, and this is how you do it.

Oh, no. Spit. Light touch, lightness of touch. 47-76-0 1970s chocolate ad and there's nothing wrong with that no it's actually that was actually by Nicholas Hemingway

ring any bells yeah didn't he make the pens and pencils he sent us beautiful stainless steel propelling pencils in the past yeah that was a test for the microphone and that's not AI

that's the man himself singing yeah I don't know what the people have this big problem with AI because I think Nicholas when he sent that in and said yeah and it's not AI like some of your other ones all right if you can't do it with a bloody pencil he's not interested

I love AI mind you love AI what a weird thing to say me and my kid he says give me three topics no matter how wild tell me a genre and we'll get And it'll do a song for us about that. And you just say, I'll have reggae, mournful reggae about my office being locked when I got there. And there was a fire inside and my dog was outside dancing.

And then you get, well, I saw me dog in the street today. And it's, you know, it's brilliant. I've been really put off air. I think it's better than this. Do you? Pleasure working with you as ever. If we had to do that song, you know, in the time it takes, which is four minutes, it'd be embarrassing.

If we had to do a mournful reggae song. Yeah, about a dog dancing outside our burning office. I think it would be embarrassing, yes. I don't disagree with that. There you go. Not that I mind embarrassing. No. What's put you off AI?

Well, someone had said to me, you know when you do interviews, you waste all that time doing research and reading books. What you should do to save yourself a bit of time is just put into chat GPT, what should I ask, say, Frank Skinner if I was interviewing him? And it came up with some questions, and I wasn't that impressed.

And then it will say, would you like me to make them a bit funnier as if we're just having a free-form, fun chat? So anyway, I was interviewing Jedwood. Oh, yes. And I'd done all my questions, but it was the morning. I thought maybe AI will come up with some little gem.

And they said, ask them about the sort of telepathy, you know, if that happens a lot. So you could test them with subjects and say, favourite dog and see what they say. So I thought, well, maybe that'll be fun. It was the one AI question, I asked Jedward, and they went, oh, don't ask us that. That's such a cliche. Everyone asks us that. It's really put me off AI. A robot let you down.

A bit high. You know what I'd have asked them? I'd have said, there's a sort of a thing that when men are together talking, that if you see twins, two twin women, men's minds immediately go to threesome. That's what happens straight. What? Yeah. Oh, that is disgusting.

Does that happen with women's minds when they see Jedwood? I don't think that can happen with women's minds. You see, I don't you to carry on debating. I imagine Jenner. I don't think it happens to anyone's minds when they see Gentwood. I would say to Jedwood, when you've had a threesome on tour. What a horrible question. With your brother.

When the woman goes out the room, do you ever like one of you have your head sticking at and your torso at the top of the duveine, the other one, your legs out the bottom, to make it look really tall? Oh my God. If only there was another context, people could do this prank, but sadly it's just semi-incestuous group sex.

Yeah, well, you know, horses for courses, that's what I say. You can listen to Frank Skinner's poetry, Tomlmast, which I happen to love. Thank you so much, darling. I went, you know, it was the blood moon last weekend. Oh, yeah, that sounded all a bit medieval to me. I didn't want to get involved. Well, the moon appears, it's an eclipse, but the way, manifests is the moon appears bright red.

This is Star-Mas Britain. And so I went, we went up to the, there's a hill near us called Parliament Hill, which is where people go for sightings and things like in the sky. And let's be honest, filming locations. Yeah, well, I did an eclipse up there a few years ago. I remember there was all these people with fancy things. I was watching it through a bin liner.

Which apparently I've told is all right, but don't quote me on that if you're retina, get burned out. So what is the blood moon? It's an eclipse, basically. Oh, it's a red moon. Who cares what else? What course is it? What course? See, this is the mistake with science.

Chapter 1 describes the red moon in poetic terms. Fantastic. I love science. Chapter 2, maths. So, anyway, we missed it. We're going up there. There was me and Bars and our friend Molly. We got the dogs.

The dogs never seen an eclipse before. I've got to learn. Yeah. And there was people walking back saying, oh, you've missed it. Oh, how depressing. So we went up there anyway, just in case it, you know, it came back.

What time was the blood moon? Well, we were told 7.52. Apparently it was 7.30. Oh. So, you know. but I missed the moon landing so after that why did you miss the moon landing

because you were in bed my mum and dad let me stay up I was you know I was it would have been 10 12 yeah 12 I stayed up with the Whippet watching

yeah she was just seen if there's any news on LICA so you come from a long line of introducing dogs to moon based events it's a real theme in your life dogs need to know about the moon.

Yeah, I think they... Incorrectly thinking, dogs, give a down. I think it's cruel to keep them from lunar events. I've always said that. Anyway, I'll sometimes see a dog. I say, that's a lovely dog. You know, if people say, what's in its name?

I always think, why are you asking that? I know, I hate it when you do that. Yeah. I always say, sounds lunar. Anyway... They're always called Luna the dogs as well. So they landed the... whatever it was called, the lunar module.

So me and the dogs, you know, all set. Did it land, though? I'm sure Buzz Alder would love it if I asked him that. It landed in Albury. We weren't our question in there. And I told you that bloke who was sometime after said to me to bust up, old bloke said, weather's never been the same since they landed on the move.

You noticed? Really? Yeah, very good point, man. Yeah, they've not. knocked it off by about a few... I'm not... I don't know what they did. He didn't suggest... He didn't pretend to know what they'd do.

While we're up here, let's do a bit of tinkering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, they stayed in the lunar module for fucking ages, and I fell asleep. When I woke up, they'd already walk and gone back in. Oh, it was all over. You know what it was like? Two blokes, obviously, are going to come out.

And they were doing that thing on the plane when they didn't want to stand up and look like, you know. So they were just... So I'm not going to stand up, yeah. You didn't miss much. It did all look a bit blue-pil. Turned into a sitting contest between Armstrong and Aldrin. Who's the other one, Frank, that was all left out of it, Michael Collins?

Michael Collins. But he wasn't coming out. He probably was standing up, getting his stuff out of the roof rack and all that, because he knew he wasn't getting off anyway. He's like that person on the plane who gets a bit previous. What's your film? Yeah, you know, when you hear the seat bells clicking, when the sign hasn't gone up, yeah.

I think, oh, well, well, done. Why do they still have the no smoking sign on planes? It's impressive, isn't it? There must still be smokers. There must still be people trying to stub out a lit fag in the little seat, ashtray thing. I find it amazing that we all used to smoke on planes. It just seems incredible.

Worst moment on a plane when it was smoking aloud? Milan. Can you imagine Milan to London? Well, I did air Malaysia. It was literally a pea super. It seemed like a tinned bushfire. Incredibly. Literally just packed with Italian men, chain smoking.

Well, I flew to Australia with my publicist and I was in first class and he was in standard. So after a bit, I thought I'll go and see him, you know. I'd love the way you do that. After about eight hours, I thought I'll go and see if he's all right. And the smoke, you had to, there was a fabulous theory. Here's one for the World Health Organisation. You could only smoke in the...

back 10 seats. So the people in front of it obviously were fight. Yes. So I walked down and oh man, there was all these, I mean, you know, so that, I mean, Malaysian people like to smoke. When I got to the first class lounge at Kuala Lumpur, I said to the guy, can you smoke in here? He said, I think you have to.

But I could see the smoke at the back and I could see faces coming through it. And this, my publicist's guy was sitting watching this tiny screen of a movie and he was like absolutely his eyes were glazed over with breathing him but he's still smoke someone who's letting themselves

And you saw a man in a top hat and a doctor's bag emerging from the smoke at the back of the play And then police whistles for the riff there It must have been like refusing to leave at a house fire just thinking I'll sit here and watch this film

on TV and let the flames consume me. Well, they always used to say in things like The Eagle, which was a comic for middle class children. So it had like live hacks. And it used to say, if you're in a fire, just get your face down to the ground. And the smoke, there's a gap where you can go down there and breathe. But I don't know if that's correct or not.

Did you pass that on to your publicist who you hadn't paid for to go in business class? It didn't come to mind. What was that on there? That quote from the... Was he allowed to sit up with you? Because sometimes they let guests. Have you ever had that where the guest is allowed to come up briefly?

No, I think I could go to him, but he couldn't cross the threshold for first. He couldn't go past the nylon curtain. He stunk for a start off. Yeah, there would have been the fire alarms would have gone off if he had coming. Oh man. This episode is brought to you by Square. You're not just running a restaurant, you're building something big.

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I went to, do you know that? No. Rick Nelson. Okay. It's a bit of a classic. I went to Martin Parr, the photographer. Do you know his work? I've heard of his name.

I don't know. If you saw his work, you'd know him. I love his work. It's classically, it would be a woman with not very well dyed blonde hair eating an ice cream at Botlins. Oh, that was kind of very bright colours. I like, yeah. A sort of deck chair with someone holding a union jack with a... Not a hanky on the top of their head.

Yeah. Yeah. So the book is, you know, he's got a new book out. And it's called, let me get this right, it's called utterly lazy and inattentive. And it's a quote from his French teacher at school, so he's used it. But I reminded, I'd completely forgotten

of a quote that I got from Mr. Wearing. What did he say? At our school. And he said that I was, and this is really something, I think. He says, I can't find them. I should, oh, yeah, it's lazy, evasive and uncooperative.

That was what he wrote about it. Evasive and uncooperative. Yeah. I would not describe you as evasive. Well, my parents would have been even angry if they'd known what evasive meant. But they knew what lazy, and they could work out, because we had co-op milk, co-op bread,

they could work out that we were on cooperative. Obviously, I was going to it. the comedy. I don't think of you as lazy either. Notice I haven't gone near the third one. Well, let's just leave, put that in a box. But lazy and evasive, absolutely not true. Well, he was the only person on all the reports I ever had, Mr. Waring, who called me by my surname. Oh, really? So he said Collins is lazy, evasive and uncooperative. Okay. Why do you think he was the only one? Because he hated me. Yes, I think he probably did

That was one of the few things we had in common I also hated him I once had on a report from my mass teacher If we're going to name and shame Let's go there Miss Carruthers Oh yeah A bit

I want to call her she was slightly I doubt she's with us any longer So I feel safe to say She was a bit trunch ball You know what I mean She was your classic If you said draw me a picture Of that type of teacher

The bun The warts everything Big ruler Yeah I don't know. Yeah, she did have big rulers. She used to throw, she would write on your maths books, DSA, damn silly answer her.

Oh, ooh. And DSQ, damn silly question. That's a very Victorian. Damn silly. Yeah. Give you an insight into my school, we said damn. That reminds you. You know Al Morris related to William make a piece?

Thackeray, yeah. It's a great, great, great, great. They put some of his school exercise books up for auction. And someone had written on the front of one of those. I mean, when would he have been? He's Victorian, isn't it? Someone had written William Thackeray is a bloody fool. What a great insult.

Now, we got damsilly answer damsilly question, and then she wrote on one of my reports, Emily is all at sea in this subject and does little to help herself. That was it. All at seas is good. Oh, thanks. What did he make of this? Martin, I mean, Martin Parr,

I, you know, I don't know much about photography, but everyone there seemed to be a photographer judging by the question. Judging by the flat jackets. Yeah, and in that company, he's like a god, you know. But then one of them asked the question, and I had a giggling fit that lasted about four minutes. You did?

Because Martin Pard said, when I took these photographs of, you know, of bottling, and stuff like that, people thought I was mocking the working classes and so, you know, I had to sort of I had to sort of justify that and all this sort of stuff and this guy put his hand up and he said, so how did the

working class folk regard to and I thought, folk? Oh, yeah. The working class. He's trying, Frank. Yeah, do, do, do they come up there. What can I call them?

Father, the men, they're coming up the drive. The folk are here. So, Ned Lither, you'll turn against me. Farther the week. That's all we're asking, Mr. Barclay. Be away with you. Yes, I can see why he did it. It was a terrible idea.

He was thinking, I want people to think that I'm not a snob and that I like the working class people. So if I had folk on it, will add an element of warm. They've been absolutely the opposite. They've suddenly they've become sepia, not rightly called it. It's the most patronising.

He's made them sound like Thomas Hardy characters. They've got clogs on, for sure, in his head. I'll tell you what was great about the interview. There's a woman called Wendy Jones was interviewing Martin Park. She sounds familiar. She's written loads of stuff. And she knows him quite well. So she wasn't worshipping at his altar.

But I think, like she said, he said I take thousands and thousands of photographs a year. He said there's about eight or nine that I'm really, really proud of. She said, so that's a numbers game, really. Anyone who took loads of. Wow. But I, she said she showed me one in the book. You picked out as your favourite in the book. I couldn't see anything in it.

Wow. But it was kind of great. Because she knew him so well He didn't seem at all bothered by it And she clearly was, you know, admired his work But, yeah, so when he called me over He went, I thought he won't know who I am, you know, he lives You know what, he loves working class folk

Oh yeah Frank, what did you think? Do you want to ask him to chat to this working class man over? He was doing a sign in, he called me over and said, Frank, how are you? And I thought, God, he knows who I am. I can't believe he knows who I am. And then he said, you're still going to West Brom

with Adrian Giles. What? So it was, yeah. Was it good? But did you like, did you come away? Did you enjoy the experience? Yeah, it's really, really, yeah. What I thought, he'd be told.

You know, I've always said photography is the last refuge of the scound. You have. Photogenalism, different. People like Brooklyn Beckham bring out a book of photography. Oh, yes. But that's different, right? You took a picture of an elephant, which was basically black.

And who was the woman who went out with Prince Andrew. Koo Stark. Koo Stark. She brought out a photography book. I mean, when you say who was the woman who went up to? I know, but the one that was he sound up to. Oh, and they brought out a photography book, this lady. I think she brought out a few.

Yeah, she did. She was a model, an erotic actress, last month, turned photographer. I see. But he's different. Martin Pard used photography. it's more social commentary, isn't it? Well, I think it's basically, it presents you with a picture and then you've got to make your own mind up, is what I would say.

But anyway, Kustard, I was with Ski-Blow Castle. Okay. With Koo-Star. I'm a bit fancy. Yeah. And I remember I brushed her hair with a Victorian hairbrush that was there. Worst porn film over? Yeah.

Very specialist intro. Someone up. I'm stopping the action there. No, no, that was the culmination. Thank, may I just share this with you? You, a number of people have got in touch with us on this subject. One of whom, well, a couple of these people are all talking about Melvin Bragg. So, I'll explain.

Oh, I think I can guess what this is. Listening to the discussion about whether Frank should wear glasses or not, It struck me that now the In Our Time podcast seat has been vacated by Lord Bragg, there could be no better replacement than Mr Skinner. He would be a shoe-in simply by turning up to the BBC for the interview wearing a pair of spectacles. Well... Lord Brad covered all sorts of topics. He did.

So if Frank wanted to slip in the odd podcast on Roman Catholicism or the exorbitant price of kiss merchandise, no problem. Yeah. I think it would only take a... couple of years before the palace would be tapping him up for a K, thereby completing the great journey Sir Frank has long been travelling. That's for, that's from Charles. I've had a couple of...

Charles. I've had a couple. I'll say it again, Charles Rex. He doesn't get to... Charles R. He doesn't get to pick the TV things. Otherwise, Edward's TV company would have done a lot better. That's a very successful company, isn't it? And Ian Angle, I want to not saying. of pun content.

What? I was a bit shocked. I don't know what to make of this. Frank, I assume you saw the article in The Times on Friday. The Times of London. Terrible paper. Terrible people. Legacy media.

On Friday, recommending you... Used to be a great city. It's not what I hear now. Go on. Recommending you as an ideal replacement for Melvin to take over the Radio 4 show in our time, that really would be something to brag about. He couldn't resist.

He got it. Oh, he did do a pod in the end. I know, he fooled me. But they're not the only ones. A lot of people have been talking about this. So, Frank Skinner. It won't happen. Why?

Because it would be seen as domming down and the BBC, which, you know, is essentially now just a really long apology. Wouldn't want to be accused of domic. And also, you know, it should be a lady or it should be someone. Okay. were less.

I don't you think he'd be good at that? Yeah. Well, how do you feel about disciplining academics when they've been talking for two? Oh, I'd be good with that. Because when I'm listening to it, I think, yeah, Melvin, I might have gone in. I might have gone in before.

Because academics will just keep going, yeah. I think as you're polite, sometimes he's a bit brusque, a bit brusque, a bit brusque, foresight with them. Yeah, but I think you've got that in your locker. Don't get me wrong. If they offered it, me, I'd snatch their hands. But they never, ever will.

I love how suddenly it starts. Did you ever see Frank on question time, by the way? Oh, please. You should look that out. What do you mean, oh, please? Well, you know, celebrities talking about politics. Oh, God, do you know... What I've always said is there's only one thing more embarrassing

than celebrities talking about politics, and that's politicians talking about anything that isn't politics. Okay, firstly, I would just like to say you were very good on it. And secondly, allow yourself to be loved. Okay. Okay? Thank you. Yeah.

That's not all we've heard, Frank. We've heard from David. What? Not that, David. No, okay. My name is David Robinson. This sounds like the beginning of a poem. Yeah.

It also sounds like the beginning of the fugitive. My name is David Robinson. I've been on the run for two years. Did not kill my wife. I wrote to your podcast recently because my dad, it was my dad that remembered Uncle Holley. Oh yes, Uncle Holly was a Birmingham. I think it was associated with Rackham's store.

Was he a sort of snide Father Christmas? He was, Father Christmas couldn't make it. It would be the strap line on his business card. Yeah, a sort of affiliate of the great man. Exactly. But not actually a North Pole, a sort of roving reporter. A local regional manager. Yeah.

And the Santa's UK correspondent. Oh, I'd be so, tonight the part of Santa will be played by Uncle Holly. But he wore it. Green was what he went for with a flash of red, obviously picking up on Holly's original colour scheme. Yeah, okay. He's probably quite spiky as well. Offstage, wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, David continues.

And there was a Miss L. Toe, I think. She was called Linda Toe. Oh, Miss El Toe. Yes, very good. I'm glad it was Linda Toe. My dad has remembered something else. I wanted to run it quite right. Oh, God, this sounds like a report from rushing into that room that the nurses are in.

Come quickly, my dad has remembered something else. I hope he's all right, the dad. What if the dad, what if the twist was, the dad was Uncle Holly. Does Frank remember a spinner? off of Up Pompeii. It also starred Frankie Howard, but was set in the Middle East, and called Whoops, Bad Dad.

I do remember. It sounds so inappropriate. I can't even begin. Whoops Baghdad, American Foreign Policy from 1990 to 2003. Do you want to know some of the characters? No, but can I say, it's interesting. You know, this idea that comedy's tragedy plus time. Yes.

So we're all a bit, oh, are we all right talking about this, whoops bag, dad? Pompeii was about a town being utterly wiped out by a volcano. No one cares about jokes about that. This is true. Okay.

So I'm going to run these characters past you. At any point anyone feels uncomfortable, just signal to me. Okay. And I will... What if I feel unsafe? I can't help you with that. Howard played, okay,

coming up, an potentially offensive name coming up. Oh, good. Ali Upler. Yes, that sounds right. We okay with that? Ali Upler, A-A-L-I and then Upla. It's like Ali-O-O-P.

It's an old sort of... Oh, right. It's an exclamation. Ali-U-U-P? They don't have that in South Africa. It's a bit like... I know that it's a basketball thing, an alley-oop. It's a sort of a working-class English equivalent of, uh, voila.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Ali-up. Yeah. There was also another character you may remember, you may remember, Frank, called Bubiana. Yes, well, she was called... They've really run out of names. She was called Titiana in the original Poppaio.

Okay, very good. Was Ruby on essentially the same as... Mrs. Brest's is here. Yes, I might as well have said that. Was she the same character as the Alo Alo? Alo. Alo had a similar one, didn't they? Mrs. Brest is here and so is Jeremy Fuck. No, no.

They had the Madonna of the big boobies. Oh, come on. They had the Madonna with the big boobies, yeah. But it was a painting. Okay. Well, there's certain things that, you know, you wanted from a sitcom in the 70s. Well, and that's Boo Biana and a bit of racism. Exactly.

Okay. We didn't know. The next is she was, and in fact, David goes on to describe her as, the most well-developed of the Wazir's daughters. What bigger than Boobiana? No, Boobiana was the most well-developed of the Wazir's daughters. I thought someone else, God, it was coming around the corner next. She's been coming around the corner for nearly three minutes.

All right, Groucho. And finally, a peeping Tom neighbour called Mustafa Schifty. Well, they had to use Mustafa, didn't they? Because that's too tempted. That is so offensive. It's probably on talking pictures now, anyone who wants to make a citizen to rest. Channel 699 or whatever it is. I don't remember what it is.

No. Okay. A bit of memory lane for you there, boys. Look, if you start talking about, you know, sitcoms from there, there's terrible. Well, don't, let's not go down the mind your language road. Well, there's just ones that aren't themed on things. They just have casual stuff in, which is almost feels worse. Anyway, let me not turn into someone who's only saying something so they can tell people they said it later.

Well, exactly. Speaking of, finally, long after you guys got, you saw the press night and I couldn't make it, I finally saw George's, our friend George's false stuff at the globe. Your friend. Our friend. Friend of the pod. I don't really know him, do you? Why would you deny people like that?

Three times when the cockrow. I like him a lot and he's a fabulous actor. But the word friend, can't just scatter it around like that. Oh, fine. It's so rude. I will say he's a friend. Regardless. Very, very good.

And I did. On cooperative. I'm co-operative. That's actually, that's our nickname. It's like the seven dwarfs. You work out who's who. I'm happy to be all three, but you're right. Happy also, of course.

Yeah, I love to Frank. I did think, I'd never seen the Merry Wives of Winter, and I did enjoy drawing a direct line from that sort of play 400 years ago to a lot of the 70s comedy where you go, yeah, they're still just sort of bums and like, oh, it's sort of puns. sort of anti-Welish, anti-Skottish, anti-Skottish, anti-French jokes.

But what the fuck is that thing with the horses? I can get that at all. Oh, what the... The sub-plot where they're stealing someone's horses. They're sort of pranking the public and back, yeah. Oh, man, come. Oh, no, I love me a rude mechanical. Oh, no, but I would have cut that.

Yeah. Frank, you can't just come out with things like that. I would have cut that. I think it's really funny when you see a poster for a Shakespeare play on the tube or around London, and it still says, by William Shakespeare. Yeah, that's great.

Oh, that one. I like Frank giving Shakespeare some editing advice. Look, mate, it's not bad. No one gets the horse prank, okay? Yeah, Billy. That's why someone should have sat him down. It's like, you know, we like all the, you know, the shenanigans, the horse things. Can I say in defence of Bill?

So plot too far, Bill. In defence of Bill, wasn't Mary, as we no doubt would have called it in half-amper, wasn't that specifically commissioned for Elizabeth I, because everyone had so fallen in love with the character of Falstaff. So he got his own series, as it were. It was a spinoff for Falstaff. It was basically oops bagdad. He's the Uncle Holly of his time.

Henry the 4th part one. Fubiana and Mustafa Shelfrey. The women in it that could have been. You know, it's very sexy play. Yes. But what I'm, so my point being that presumably a lot of that horse horse play was included by royal request. Perhaps that was the thing people liked.

They still love the horses then. Yeah. I can easily see Elizabeth being a sort of incredibly, profoundly a fan of really stupid pranks and human things. It's a bit like if someone told you to put specific things in Shane or something. Yeah. If Shane got reconcuitously. If Shane got recommissioned and King Charles...

Because you don't know, Shane is a sitcom I did two series. One was broadcast? Dot, dot, dot. No, there is a currently a petition ongov.com. UK to get series two rebroadcast. I signed it. Yeah. Yeah, not re-broadcast.

What if it came back and King Charles said, could you put in something like horses? Do you think of horse perhaps? That might be something about horses for all right. No, I can't remember it. Also, if we put out Shane 2 now, there'd be 25 minutes of stuff at the end with pictures of people and dates underneath.

In memoriam. Exactly. The in-memorium would be longer than the episode. We could call it the Night of the Living Dead. Anyway. Yeah, that's that. Would they play the Jeff Goldblum? It wasn't smoke gets in your eyes.

It was something like that. Yeah. What was this at the Oscars? At the Oscars, but I thought it was Smoke Gets in your eyes. It wasn't. But it wasn't. It was a sound alike to that. I don't know why they died this year.

Do you not like that? Well, the trouble is, I've never ever known A, they died this year. The BAFTAs, the Oscars, that just doesn't result is I can't believe they didn't mention. Eric Maybley, the. director of photography. It's always, it's just about who's not iny. Yeah. Just don't bother.

Just say some people die. Aw. Leave it at that. Can I share this with you from Tim Oaks? I just wondered if Frank has seen what is surely the goat autobiography title. I would dance around the room

celebrating if I came up with such a perfect pun. Can I tell you, shall I tell you the name of the person whose autobiography is? Go on. You could maybe have a stab at it. Okay. Okay. So the subheading of this is comedy, disaster and one man's quest for happiness.

Okay. The book, the person writing the book, is Paul Sinner. Okay. Spell S-I-N-H-A in case anyone doesn't know. Yeah. He's a comedian and quizer. And quizer, yeah. Paul Sinner.

Oh, yeah, I know who he is. Yeah. You know who he is? So it's something, is it on like, on the Saints and Sinners type theme? It's the surname. Mm. Yeah, so that's sinner. Yeah.

Sinner is involved. I, the story of my sinnecure. That would actually be rather good. Now go on. I think he might be upset that he didn't go for that. Now tell me, what did he go for? He's gone for one sinner lifetime. Very good indeed.

I actually do think that's quite good. Obviously, he's going to upset a lot of Buddhists. Once, they'll be saying, I feel unsafe. Safe people to upset the Buddhists. They have to let you get away with it. Yeah, but you don't know when they come back. They might be absolute bastards. In the form of us of crow.

Did we find out, by the way, what he sung Jeff Goldblum? They're like Prime Minister, you don't know. What did he do? As time goes by. As time goes by, not smoke gets in your eyes. Oh, I know, yes, as time goes by, do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-. Yes, exactly.

You must remember this. A kiss is just a kiss. But what I don't remember is the director of photography. He's just a backroom boy. If he wanted fame, he should have took. the risk and gallop on the screen instead he played it fucking safe

let's forget him Frank let's forget him so awful so your proposal here is that the Oscar should end with just a black screen and some letters coming going some people died this year

so sad let's forget them yeah no yes except for the so sad bit it's no good beating yourself up with this it's like George Elliot said, we can't feel other people's pain as well as our own, otherwise life would be unbearable. She said it would be like hearing the grass grow. Then I, and then it ends.

It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, it's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com.