The Frank Skinner Show - Brandreth in the Wild

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

Frank, Em and Ruth debate the ideal length of a live show. Frank’s been to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and he’s spotted Gyles Brandreth in the wild. If you want to message the show email us on [e-mail] or Whatsapp us on 07457 417 769 We’re currently sponsored by BT - behind brilliant things! Search ‘Why BT’ to find out more or click on the following link: https://www.bt.com/broadband/why-bt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Baby, we belong together. You and I forever and ever. I'm in a way. This is Frank Offs, I'm picking up on the football theme. Lovely. This is Frank Off the Radio.

I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosco. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast. via Frank off the radio at Avalonukk.com. What's up? 0757-4-1-4-7-6. I keep hitting that one. Yeah, funny that, isn't it?

It's been a long time. Oh, Frank, really? So, you know, whenever I meet comedians, stand-up comedians, who are like touring comedians. I always ask them the same question. How long do you do? Do you? I've developed a quest in later life

of how short a show you could do and as long as it's consistently funny throughout, the audience would be satisfied and go home. American comics often will do like an hour. Okay. And everyone thinks it's fine. Really? And obviously you can do an hour if you're, you know,

Edinburgh are doing smaller geeks. Because they're by design, they're sort of an hour of those shows, are they? Yeah, but if you do a big theatre, people think you should be doing a minimum of like an hour 25. Yeah, exactly. And it's a sense, I think, of getting your money's worth. But I think even if you're a comedy genius, people have had enough after an hour and ten. It's too long.

Yeah. In Edinburgh, I don't want to kill anybody. Well, with your fans, you do have to better. that in mind. I don't. Well, some of them haven't got an hour and a half in them

by the time they get to a big. I've barely got an hour and half in me. Well, I would say yours was the perfect length your show. Well, I've been told

that for many a long year. Why'd you have to bring Slees into it? I don't know. You always start I'm nice and early at 5 o'clock as well. You know,

when you're on the show. No, 5.30 at the Bill Murray. But I'm on about when you're out doing theatres. When he's doing his big gigs at the Gilgood and things.

You know those ones? I think an hour and ten is plenty. Do you factor in a booze break for these characters? You have to do that for the theatres. Well, they love a booze break, don't they? Yeah. Yes, but anyway, the reason I bring in up is I was reading a review of Lily Allen's new concert.

A bit controversial this one, isn't it? She is, the tickets range from, and I don't doubt it's brilliant. The album was a, a bit of a game changer. It's fantastic, yeah. I feel a bit edgy about it because I'm a massive Stranger Things fan, and it is sort of an attack on Hopper, that character.

But, you know, I don't know what went on. It's not my business. No. Anyway. So the tickets range from 38 quid to 86 quid, and she's doing 50 minutes. Because she's doing the album from back to back, isn't she? But nothing out.

Well, I think front to back. Okay. but no own stuff, as it were, as Pete Waterman would call it. I think there's three cellists begin the evening by playing instrumental versions of some of her earlier work. Is that for a row? In some of the concerts. An icekeeper Jacqueline Dupre.

Yeah, exactly. Three cellists? I won't be doing that. Can you imagine if you got three cellists playing do, do, do, do, do. I'd know going to be in the tour boss with three cellists. I thought you're going to say playing your old jokes. Oh yeah, that'd be great. Some of the blue material.

Yeah. Yeah. My blue period. Yeah, well, anyway. No, I know. We don't have vehicles on my tours that have the boot space for three cellists to be in the car. No, you couldn't have three cellists going around with you. So, so she has a sort of, so no support, essentially either.

Well, I think the O-2, I don't think she had a support. I could be wrong, but I don't. She's doing 50 minutes at the O2. I think she just won and did 5-0. And there's also a compliance that she didn't speak in between the songs. But to be honest, I don't sing in between the jokes. Good point. Good point.

But I think if it was a brilliant show, I'd be absolute. When it ended on 50 minutes, I'd think, oh, lovely. I'll be at home, you know, watch a super store before I go to bed. It'll be light when I go out. My chances are being killed in the street. It'll be reduced by 40. 40%. I'm glad for it to end early. I don't know what people want.

If I want to go on tour now, the matinees sell out first. I know again that's got something to do with my audience going to bed at 7. It's very old. The matinees are selling out. The advertisers are getting a stair lift. But apparently West End matinees now, that's become a pattern that they sell faster than the evening. I wonder why that is. Because people don't want to get killed at 11 o'clock at night.

You can't make a sweeping staph. statement like that, people don't want to get killed. You think there are people who do want to get killed. Well, I don't think you can say that you're going to get killed if you go out in the West End. You're sounding like an out-of-towner. I think you've got less chance if it's 5 o'clock than if it's 11 o'clock. These people like the cover of dark. These people.

The underworld. Felons. The underworld. It's like Fagin's gang coming out. They emerge. from the shadow. That is how it works. But anyway,

if you went to see Lily Allen, would you be happy with the Fiverr? I'm definitely, yeah. The big Fiverr. Definitely, because I think anything over, as we know, my review of Lord of the Rings was too long,

just three hours, anything under an hour. Because when you're at Edinburgh as well and the shows are an hour, they all have to be like an hour long. You get laugh fatigue. You can't keep laughing at everything. That's true.

What, for an hour? Well, if you go and see a lot of air along shows in Edinburgh. Yes. I was going off you now when you said you can't keep laughing at everything. It's hard not to when you're doing the pod. No, I'd be happy with the big FIvo from Lily. I'm just picking something out of my teeth. Can you make sure not to film that?

Thank you. Yeah, would you be happy with the FIvo? Yeah, and I'll tell you why, because the amount of music gigs, music gigs, specifically I'm thinking of I've been to, I just get tired. After about 35 minutes, I'm looking at my... watch it doesn't matter how much I love them. Yeah.

For similar reasons that I'm thinking about parking. I'm just thinking I don't want to go home late. I've got to get back to my Ray. Yeah. But mainly it's enough for me. It's enough. 50 minutes is more than an hour off. Didn't you, I feel like, didn't you ask for a chair at the Chemical Brothers?

Yeah, I did. And my friend luckily was involved in it, so he got me a camping chair. He did their lighting. That's great. But I just couldn't, I've never really been, if I'm honest, a natural gig person anyway. But 50 is absolutely fine. 50, that's all you need. Perfect.

Anyway, well done. Leave Lily alone. Well done, Lily. So, Frank, with that in mind then, you're going to, am I allowed to say this, by the way? Am I allowed to say you're going to Edinburgh? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, tickets are on sale and it's all. Are you, is that an hour then? Yeah, that's an hour. Okay. I once at an hour and a half in Edinburgh and about eight people left after an hour. and I thought they looked like they were having a great time

and I think people had just made arrangements based on every show being an hour. I really? I thought I'll never do an hour and a half in Edinburgh ever, ever again. They might just have left because they thought oh fuck this. Well usually you've got to get

you've got to go to the next venue see another show. I know exactly. Thank you darling. So speaking of shows I went to see a midsummer night's dream. Oh, at Regents Park? At Regents Park.

Lovely. It was lovely. On plan air. Pardon? On plan air. Open air. Yes. Yes.

I thought it has to Pam air. No, it's en plan air. You talk about eating on plan air. Oh. It means in the full air. I thought that was Al fresco. Yeah, that's an Italian. Oh, okay.

Okay. Italian and French, different language. Yeah. Hi. Hi. T. T. Tell me about Regents Bar.

And how was your bottom? Well, it was a very good bottom. Well, it was actually rear of the year, I think you'll find. No, I don't mean mine. Yeah, I've never given my bottom in Regent's Park. Chance be a big thing. Hank. Why?

You brought it off. We were having a lovely shape of a year. You went bottom. I did go bottom. I did go bottom. I'm not going to lie. Anyway, we arrived my son and I. So nice that you go with that.

off to buzz. It makes me, I think that's so lovely. Can I tell you, there are many parental pleasures, but watching your son at an opening night, absolutely wipe out the hors d'oeuvres is a joy of, I mean like four chocolate strawberries, you know? I mean, really. Good man.

There was Gioza, man. He loves Gioza. And where is this? But I did, he was eating for two. Good. Because I'd had my dinner, but it was great. to watch him. And where is, is there a hospitality?

People coming out with place, they were coming straight to him. You know, because you always think, when you're there in your first go, you think, oh, well, I better not pursue the person

with the plaques, they'll be, of course, they're coming out thinking, the quicker I get rid of this shit, the better on going and have a smoke.

And they were just coming straight to boss and he was devoured. It was great. And where, is there a separate hospitality area? It's out there is. Oh. If you're one of the...

Damn it. Yes. Not made it in there. But I was a little... Well, when we went in, we had to go down Gangway 4. That was on the tiki. Been a wild since I've done that.

So now it's been crazy. Me. So I'm walking down and someone says, oh, hello, Frank O'clock. It's Deborah Meaden. Shut up. What a great spot. And I said to boss, she's a dragon.

And he said, I know Deborah Meadon is. I thought, oh, all right. And then Martin Lewis came along. And I thought, oh, God, they put me in the money section with Meadden and Lewis. I don't want to sit there like that bloke from Monopoly. Mr Money Manit. You were handed a top hat on the way in. And I thought, oh, God, I mean, I don't really want to be, yeah.

Why are you in the money section? There wasn't a perfetus sight. Well, when I went out, I said to Buzz, let's go that way. gangway to go out. We left with Anton DeBeck and Gary Wilmot. I thought I was with my people. Yeah. Yeah, they're a bit more red carpet.

It's not right for you to be in the money section. Did money saving expert talk to you, Frank? He did, he said alone. What does he say? Hello. He said alone. He said to Barzalo, I'm Martin. Did he say anything about money? He didn't mention money, but I could see it was on the tip of his time.

He was itching to tell you about bombs. Me, that had piles of cash just on a trolley with her. She was carrying her own. Do you think they talk these money people about money? Of course they do. What else they're going to talk about? Wait, let me finish. At dinner parties, do they have a night off?

Do you know what I mean? Are they like doctors a lot? Oh, don't ask me about money. Or do you think they welcome it? You like it when people talk to you about comedy. Are they the same? I imagine they get to get. They're like me.

They're saying, how long do you do? On your accruing. Yeah. Of course they don't. talk about money, that's their lives. That's so boring, isn't it? Well, maybe look, it's one man's meat is another man's poison. Exactly. You know,

they love that. That's what I said about the Gioza. Martin Lewis putting Giozes in his bag. Did he have his award? Because he always has his award with him. He wasn't wearing it that night. It was hot, though. He carries that war back. He's probably worried to get hot and then get against his bed. Well, he's got a special, he got the lifetime

achievement. That's what he wants. Of course, the the eternal scorch of his I'll be here against his test. Do you know, he got the Lifetime Achievement Award, which is amazing. No, I know. But ITB, because is it because he's genuinely done a public service? No, but I said to you, he's done lots of other stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he's. No, he has his help with sort of, like, liaised with the government in terms of the energy crisis. I think he's, yeah, I think he's turning to a do good. Frank, don't say do good. It sounds critical. But, you know, also, he's been. been very kind to pensioners, which is why you and I should be nice to him. Yeah, exactly. Well, I've been very kind to pensioners whenever I've had the chance.

Frank, really? Yeah. Get things back on course. Yes. Let's get back to Shakespeare. So anyway, it was, I really enjoyed the Midsummer Nights Trail. It does like it. He did, actually.

I was a bit, he was very tolerant of the set. See, because I'm older, I have. have anticipation of rich, rich foliosh. I know. Mid-Summer Night's Dream. I saw Mid-Summer Night's Dream once at Birmingham Rep. And Birmingham Rect used to have the best set designer in the country. When the curtains open, the people used to applaud the set before the acting could start.

It doesn't seem much for the acting. I'm not joking. So I saw Mid-Summer Night's Dream, oh man, it was lush, absolutely lush. The crowd went mad. It was stark boards. Was it? And of course you're in a park. They could have just had scaffolding

and we could have seen trees. They didn't have them. Oh, yeah. But it was, it reminded me very much of a pencil case I met in woodwork in 1971. It had that very lot. It hadn't been treated. No, it wasn't on varnish, dry.

You can see some of the joints on it. I don't like that. I mean the joints of the wood. They'd made it sort of intentionally shabby almost. Yes. Unfinished. There was, there was, It was a statement, but I couldn't work out what it was.

It's a bit modernist. But I suppose you could argue that I noticed the excellent performances more because there was no leaves in the way. Was it modern day dress or period dress? It was an amalgam. Okay, fine. I would say. There was some string vest.

It wasn't what I call Coriolanus in combat pants and a leather jacket. It wasn't quite that. Okay. Which is my worst thing. Ian McKellen coming on. in a white granddad shirt. No, thank you. I paid to see Shakespeare, mate.

Not you in a bloody Ramon's t-shirt. How were you with Henry VIII in Vague, East European military uniform? That's my absolute worst. I'm not good with anything other than period costume. Thank you very much. And then they mess about with the 20s. What about King Leia on the 8th in Wild West underway? With the button back hatch.

You all right with that? I can't bear it. Just go to that nice old costume shop at Piccadilly Circus. So anyway. Get some velvets. Who should I say? And it was a warm night. It was a warm, it's a balmy night.

So this is going to give us a clue, Ruth. Come on. It was a warm, warm night. Right. Who should turn up. But Brandreuth. Are you actually joking? I'm not joking.

Brantrith. Seen in the wild. So I know what we were discussing recently was would Brandreth wear one of his signature jumpers in hot weather? He's always on GMB. That's why he goes on there. He's got the initials. Somebody said that they'd seen him, didn't they? Someone said they'd seen him and that, or they'd read something about how he refuses to take.

They think, they weren't sure, but they seemed. think he would wear the jumper. Oh my God, the jumper. Ruth, can you talk us through, hang on. Ruth, talk us through what you're seeing in the photograph taken. May I say, without consent by Frank Skinner? No, well, obviously I think consent's an important thing. So I think Brandreth is in brackets after consent.

I mean, Frank Skinner, one of the most loved national treasures, is resorted to taking covert photographs of Giles Brandreth. Well, what we're seeing is, and it looks to me, that's an orange shirt, not a jumper on top of a jumper. No, no, no, that's a shirt, but he has the jumper with him. Too hot to wear, so he's not in it, scarf like around his neck. He can't be without it. It's like his shell. But he's got the logo pointing inwards as well. So it's a reveal when he puts it on.

It's a reveal. I imagine when he leans back on the quite heavy embroidery of the logo, it's a bit like an Uber driver with a beaded seat cover. Providing air circulation, that massage. He has intarsia jumpers, doesn't he? Well, my eyes... What does that mean? What does that mean?

What does that mean? Is that like on plan air? Well, you stop it. Intarsia is when it's knitted into the pattern. So as opposed to sort of a plecade. Do you know what you mean? Oh. So it wouldn't be uncomfortable to lean back on. Entarcia is inherent with the fabric almost.

But in my mind, he would have an intarsia. For that, he would have the theatre masks. on a jumper. Oh, Ruth, I can see that. You have absolutely nailed it. Imagine that in Tulsa. Well, actually he had them, but then they removed from the jumper

and him and his wife wore them as actual knitting masks for the second half. And you know, he absolutely insisted on being comedy. It's functional fashion. If I had two knitted masks, theatrical masks, I don't think me and Kath

would either squabble about who had the smile that who had the scale. No. But do you think, I suspect he's probably got cufflinks with the theatrical double face, hasn't he? Oh, God, yeah. Easily he's got that. Yeah.

Scrabble cufflinks. Yeah, he's got the lot. He's got the lot. Yeah, he'll have that. Crosswell. And also, if we're going through, what cufflings? What cufflings?

It would have been a text. In the radio, dies, he sort of been a texting. What cufflings? I'm guessing Charles III on one and Queen Camilla on the other as well. Lovely. He's proud of that friendship. And I believe

Tedy Bear, extensive teddy bear collection. Has he really? Yes, he's famed for his teddy bear collection. Does he have a connection with a... He's got a connection with everyone. He's a worse networker than me. So John Benjamin on one, former Poet Laureate. Yeah, I love George.

And Dame Margaret Rutherford on the other, both famous teddy bear, not only owners, but took their teddy bear into public. In fact, when... She had a teddy bear out properly. Agatha Christie went to persuade DiMargaret Rutherford to play... Miss Marple. Miss Marple in the film.

She didn't want to play it. And she went to, and she persuaded her. And Diane Margaret Rutherford said, I think you're going to have to talk to whatever it was called. Some horrible agent. Yeah, but it was a teddy bear. Oh, the teddy bear? So fucking Agatha Christie had to go, well, Elginon, I think it'd be really good for Margaret's career.

I'd have to tell the teddy bear. That was the test. That's an insane story. I know. Have you ever seen Charles Brandre's wife? She was with him on the night. I was going to say she's teddy bear. No, no.

So I've never seen her. I would say she's 18 tops. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. You never know. It would have been great. I love that she carried the teddy bear into the work. Do you know the other person who incorporated the teddy bear into the work

in a slightly manipulative way it was Freud. Zygman, not Matthew. He used to, he loved a, it's not a teddy bear actually, I've got this wrong. Why did I think teddy bear? It was dogs. I've got that completely wrong. Let's just forget that. That never happened.

No, it did with chow chowls. It's not teddy bears. Okay. I think of them as teddy bear dogs. Oh, right. But at least if I stopped myself before life, I could have. It was good. You were on the brink. I nearly told the lie.

I would say it was two wheels of the school bus over the edge of the bridge before Spider-Man arrived. Yeah, I thought, shall I just lie? Because it's not teddy bears. It's actually chow-chow dogs. It's an opposite thing. I thought, no, I better not lie. I'll get found out. Well, Grayson Perry features his teddy bear regularly in his art. Does he? He does, yeah. Yeah. I'm fine, you know, this teddy bear thing, I will do this afterwards,

but the Margaret Rutherford Teddy Bear story is extraordinary, frankly. Why are you reading it now? It's fascinating. I don't know if she called the Teddy Bear Stringer after her husband, because her husband was called Stringer. But yeah, she was famously known. You're absolutely right. I read, speaking of Sir John Benjamin, I saw a documentary about him,

and he was, they were talking a woman who knew he, and his wife were talking. And him and his wife had a interesting relationship because he was having an affair with another woman for a long time. Yeah, for a long time. I thought he was a nice old man. Well, he was a nice old man who had an affair. Wow.

But this woman was saying, but no, they were very, very close. Him and his wife, certainly. I mean, I think she did see the point of him. Oh, wow. There's a compliment. She did see the point of him. I thought sometimes the posh get it absolutely spot on. She did see the point of him.

I mean, you want a bit more like that from a marriage, but still. She did see the point of him. That's right. They do nail it the posh. They do. Oh, yeah. They nail it with the handwriting. I mean, they can be vile, obviously.

They can be. What I'm talking about is less you're modern-day posh. and a sort of posh that doesn't exist anymore. Like, you know, the doctor you went to who said, when you complimented his handwriting, Frank. Well, he said two things. He said, yes. Oh, lovely.

He said, when I did handwriting at school, I rather tried. But then he said I was taught handwriting by traitor blunt's brother. His traitor blonde? The assumption that we all know, he didn't have to say, oh, Anthony Blunt. Well, I did know. Of course you did. But the fact that he assumed that you were. I don't know if you know, but he was, you know, didn't mention to a traitor of blunt.

It sounds sort of 16th century, isn't it? I rather try. It's absolutely beautiful. Because what it's to do with is that old school posh sort of underplaying it a bit. It would be boastful. What about when I arrived at the surgery once? And him and Ronnie Corbett were talking about the best shop in London to get pocket handkerchiefs. Oh, I love that. Actually, I'd rather try.

No, no, no, but I have always found. It was all that stuff was going on. Was he a good doctor? I bet he was. No. Well, you know why? He didn't have to rile the tribe. He did a house visit once.

He came to visit me. I was ill in bed. See, like a doctor, because you had to have medicals and things for work. That's how I knew him. For all the medicals you have for TV shows. But he came to my house when I was properly ill. and on the visit he had three glasses of red wine. Say, the posh, just get it right.

It's amazing. But you're right, listen, we're not saying there's nothing wrong with these people, but occasionally we like the old school ways. Okay? Oh, yes, exactly. Nothing wrong with which people? The posh? What I was saying is we're not being entire posh apologists.

But they can be extremely entertaining. The woman said, but she did see the point of him, it wasn't done in a joke as a joke way. She did really see the point of him. I'm surprised she didn't throw her rather in there. Frank, may I just share something with you, which is... Not if it's a hypodermic needle. No, Frank.

Okay. I don't get involved in things like that, really. Quite right. What is that? He used to say quite right. What was he? Quiroid. Was that his catchphrase?

What a shit catchphrase. Well, it was, yeah, he didn't. Even Doctor Now didn't get on a short. There he is. He's on stage. Woo, yeah. Quiroid. Woo!

Eddie, he was called. What was his name? Eddie. He was an old man. He was, yeah, he's probably younger than I am now. But he seemed like a very old man. Did you work with him in the factory? No, he was just a, he was just, he was a old man.

used to go in the pub regularly. But people would be saying stuff, and he would go, in the midst of a conversation here, and you go, Quite right! As they're in agreement. I hate that that's his legacy.

He was just the man who said, Quite Right. It's more. He was more. He was more. Did he have a hinterland? He did have a, he didn't have a hinterland, yeah,

but not one I'd like to talk about on the podcast. Quite Roy. That's what I say. More hint to the most. You know, you used to go to the pub. Did you have friends that you would only see in the pub? Oh, yeah. Really?

So you wouldn't sort of get their numbers and say, let's meet for a coffee or anything? Well, nobody had phones then. Oh, that's true. But you didn't have, just, what I'm interested in is, just talking to Buzz the other day. Buzz said, if you've got a landline phone I can use. I said, you can use a landline? He said, I'd just like to know that if my phone's dead, I can still. call someone if I'm what did you say I said I have got a phone upstairs I'll go and get it

I don't know if we're still connected yeah and he said so when you were like little and you had a phone I said we didn't I didn't have a phone in arrows till I was 15 and he said what did you manage without a phone I said well I didn't know anyone who had the phone and he said oh well there's no point you have in one night Which has never occurred to me. We were all trapped in our own, in each other's not having one. You're right. Snow could have been the one person in that social network.

It would have been awful to have been the one person. Exactly. Yeah. We were going to waste a time just sitting there looking at a phone that could never ring. But you would, so you, I suppose because you didn't have phones, but those are friends? I didn't have friends, did you say? No, I didn't say that. I said, because you didn't have phones, you wouldn't arrange to meet in that sense,

but you still would have had friends out. There were some pub friends. No one arranged to me. What do you mean? If I went to see her Keith, who lived three miles away, I would walk to, this happened many times. I'd walk to his flat. He wasn't in.

I'd put a note to the door saying I called, and then I'd walk back. But you didn't do that, really? You had phones? Well, we didn't have, well, we had the landline, yeah. I didn't have mobile until I was in my 20s. Okay. But as for me, meeting up for coffee, there was nowhere to go and have a coffee.

People didn't know. We didn't go for a coffee. Don't say it's so scathing, Frank. You said, don't know for coffee. It's not, what do you mean? There wasn't anywhere to go. There was no Starbucks or Costa coffee or any of that. There still isn't really in the black country.

Well, I mean, where I'm from, but in bigger places there are. Can't you go to each other's house? Oh, yeah, we've talked about. And Doss is going around to their house doing nothing. Yeah, or just go into the park. Me and my friend Shabnam used to say, in school we'd go, let's meet at the park at six and have a doss. And then you just, you know, buy some sweets.

Happy, happy days. I like buy some sweets. Buy some sweets and go on swings and that is it, and then go back home. Okay. Simpleer times. Okay. A little different for me. Something different.

Yeah, of course. You know. So you were arranging to meet people for coffee? I imagine you had one of those phones. Here we go. Here we go. One party or you're here and the other party on that. Like when Sherlock Holmes gets called.

It was like, hello, Kensington 6'4 2. Exactly. It was somewhat like that. I won't lie. And you had to put on a special glove to answer it. That's how I see it. Michael Jackson. Get the phone gloves.

I went to, they do a thing, they have like a music festival at my son's school. Oh, that's lovely. Somebody did Billy G. one of the kids did Billy Jean and he wore a white sparkly glove. Oh, I wonder if it was left over from the, that was a new purchase.

The parents didn't have that. Oh, they might have had it in the old days before we know. We all had them. We didn't know. Buzz did Dreamer. Do you know that song? Son Osborne. Oh.

Just a dream. I do. I actually love that song. Yeah, I do. He sang it. He sang it and played keyboard. and it has a friend there to play bass on it. Were you proud, Dad?

Kat said to me, he looks really upset. He must have thought it went badly. And I thought, no, I know what it is. It's Aussie. What is it? It's Aussie. And we went up. It was a lovely week. He didn't have to say anything.

I knew what it was. We just did a big We Miss Aussie hog. We didn't say anything, but we both knew. I'm so lovely, Frank. You know, if you're not from our area, Ruth, start to explain quite what Aussie means. No, I understand. I get it. I get that it's, that's huge. That's what a lovely moment to share, though.

And then Buzz played synth on, do you know Joe Curie is? No. He plays Steve Harrington in Stranger Things, and he's brought out a couple of albums. I do know exactly who that is. I've seen him, yeah. He did one of his songs. Yeah. Wow. It was great. I love this concert.

I prefer this to actual. Frank, before we go, can I quickly share something? A four year ago? Johnny Walker. Johnny Walker. He's always leaving. Johnny, let me leave. Johnny, come.

No, no, Johnny. What big strides he said. Johnny, I've been trying to leave for 20 minutes. And what did you go? The length of his stripes are. All right, Johnny, you're not gay. Relax. You don't have to have stride that big.

You're going to hurt yourself. Johnny is so persistent. I just want to share this with you. Johnny's gone. Look, there's his footprint. Well, I can see this. The other one's too far away for me to see. Does he walk like that all that?

Like a big pair of scissors. I wonder he's called Johnny Walker. Does Johnny have britches, Frank? Does he wear bitches? Every day. They always saw Johnny the other day. Anything they say about him. Someone will say,

well, of course with Johnny. always texted in his stride. And they all laugh. They all laugh. Again, the Johnny Walker Jack. Does Johnny have bridges? Yeah, I think he does, yeah. He's a funny old character. We don't know much about his personal life. Is he married? Is there a Mrs Walker?

He has big non-slip dinkies on his heels so that he doesn't, the stride doesn't extend into a splits. Because he's operating at the outer extent and his balance. I want to know more about his home life. Because what does Mrs Walker just have to tolerate him striding around, telling people not to leave all the time? And what's he trying to tell us? Why didn't you want us to go? Why does Johnny?

No, but before you go, that's the whole. He wants you to get drunk because he's so miserable. He can't go home to his wife. I suppose people are leaving Johnny's house and he's saying, before you go. Yeah. I'll tell you he is saying it. That's all he says.

Because they're going. You don't think he's trying to leg them over all the way all the time. Do you want, have we got time to hear Mark from Leeds? It's not that long. Yes. I retired as a police officer a couple of years ago. Okay. I love a police person.

Oh yeah. So does my cath as well. We both love the police. You get in trouble for saying that now. What I mean is we're fascinated by the police process. One of the last departments... You get in trouble for saying you love the police. People get angry with me when I say that.

Yeah. One of the last departments I worked in... What are we supposed to say? Pitch. It doesn't. It's a bit Vivian from the young ones. One of the last departments I worked in had a new inspector join us, who had the glorious name of Dave Struggles.

As soon as I heard his name, I had Frank's voice in my head on repeat. Do you know Dave Struggles? At which point, a colleague saw Dave in his new office, approached me and said the inevitable, Do you know Dave struggles? I tried not to say it. Honestly, I tried. I mean, this is a policeman, to be fair,

knowing that it could lead to me being in a whole heap of trouble, but I just couldn't help myself. And the floodgates were opened. From that moment every day I found a way of shoehorning in a sneaky... No? Thanks for the tip. Exactly. Until one day, I was genuinely taken to one side by my sergeant.

Oh, really? And told in no uncertain terms to stop. It seemed that Dave no longer struggled. That's Mark from Leeds. So, you know, he thanks you, but you also got him in a little bit of trouble. Yeah. I like that he was taken to one side.

That happened to me by Taylor. There's a helmet joke in this, but I'm not doing it. Please don't. We've already had the compass. Oh, God. So listen, the next episode, of Frank Skinner's Radio Days is out on Wednesday. In this episode, this is going to entice them in.

I'm educating Emily and Alan about the rules of Lent. Oh, gosh. Watch those downloads. Wow. You're going to break the internet with that one. And we discuss how long you can drive with an empty petrol tank. It gets richer and more elaborate. Yeah, that would have been me, clearly.

Or a fuel tank as Alan's. I think Alan used to insist on it being called a fuel tank. Yeah. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast.

Make sure to like and follow so you never. miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at avalonukai.com.