The Frank Skinner Show - Brown Envelope

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

The gang are back together as Pierre returns from the Edinburgh Fringe. Frank has been on an eventful walking holiday and took issue with a hotel menu. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Or is it croissant? No matter how you say it. Start your day with freshly cracked scrambled eggs loaded on a buttery, flaky croissant. Try it with maple brown butter today at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for limited time. It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh ladyo and the one with the French name who from South Africa came. Hey, oh, brackets, array, close brackets today.

Hey, this is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pienne Valley has returned from the Edinburgh Fringe. You can follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Offder Radio at AvalonUK.com. And as for WhatsApp, Oh, seven, five, four, seven, four one seven, seven, seven, sixty-nine.

Shoot, dear. Oh, filthy, buggers. Very nice. Oh, dear, I sound a little bit judgmental, yeah. Oh, very nice stuff. That was from Ken Docky. Was it? No, it's from Carl Docky.

Oh, was he in Corrid? The Coronation Street. He sounds like he should have been. No. The only other Docky, I know, is Ben Docky, who is a tremendous batsman for England. Is that right? Okay. I wonder if they're related. Maybe. Okay, I quite like that one, frankly.

Yeah, I like that. I like them all. What about that? I love that you're sporting orange today. You've got something of this 1970s cult member about you, and I like that. Yeah, well, I'm reading a very fat manga comic about... an interesting cult at the moment, which I've become terribly absorbed by. What's it called? It's called 20th century boys.

Oh, dear. Yeah. Oh, dear. It's not that. It's not a catalogue. Frank. So I, welcome back. Thank you.

It's very nice to be back. In case you're listening to the show for the first time, does that happen? Do you know, I reckon we might get the old nube. Okay I can't I can't remember anyone Anyway

Pierre is normally on the show But he's been away for four weeks Doing his stand-up show Which I think has been very well received To say Yes very nice Nice rooms, big houses Good

We did some extra shows too Which is always nerve-wracking Lovely I mean he's I'll be blunt with you He's song silverware Oh Frank Why do you have to

say that. Well, you know, you send you away for all weeks. You play the grant and then they come out with nothing. You're like one of those, Venus and Serena. I'd have settled for a third. You're like Richard Williams. Who is Richard Williams? Venus and Serena's dad.

Oh yeah. Yeah, I'll be holding up signs during the podcast. King Richard over here. I know, but you know, I mean I feel it's sort of representing us up there in a way. I feel like I failed. Like a sort of Formula One thing? Team Red Bull.

I don't think you can say he's failed. No, he hasn't failed, by no means. He's got very, very good reviews. And also with this award, what is it? Is there a comedy, there's one award, is it? Is it just the Edinburgh Comedy Award? Well, why don't you ask the man himself? There's the one biggie.

It used to be the Perrier. Is that what Frank won? Yeah, before the old king died. So you didn't get Fosters? I didn't get Foster. I was waiting when my second parent died for the vocal, but no one of them. Why did they introduce alcohol

into the whole proceedings? Small sponsorship. I like that you got the Perrio, a bit more cleaner and, you know. Exactly. There was one, Perrier sounds, it's got a prestige to it.

Foster's less so. There was one year where I always feel bad for whoever won that year because the people who sponsored the award, it was like, holiday travel.net. And it's like the holiday travel.net award. Oh, no.

The Jet 2 Holidays. Yeah, Jet 2 Holiday Comedy Award. Yuck. But mine seems to be losing in its glimmer in retrospect because there was something in the paper saying that there was a big French scandal that the people who bring out Perrier

have been, they've been putting the gas in it. Oh. It's supposed to be naturally. It's not naturally carbonated. Well, I think it was, but the earth is run out of bubbles in that area. I don't want to know how they're putting the gas in. I don't want some Frenchman doing his worst.

Well, maybe they're just doing, a very artistic French size into a sort of mouthpiece. Yeah. And the bubbles are getting in that way. Anyway, so even that, it's like when I did, one of the charities I did

on who wants to be a millionaire, the boss of it was involved in a massive sex scandal. This is the curse of Skinner. It's the oldest of death thing I've got going on. I just can't believe you've mentioned that.

Well, I mean, you know. It was really embarrassing. I don't think we'll be seeing that in vintage. who wants to be a millionaire. Oh, Frank. Well, I thought I was let down, you know. I went on it in good faith,

and then the story started circulating. Anyway, you need to start doing... I also did really badly. It's almost like I was being played for my elites. What do you know? It does make me think, it does, it does, did confirm to me that. You and David Bidil are the dream team.

Because when you did it with David, how much did you make for the charities? 250,000 pounds. I mean, that's incredible. Adrian Charles? I think we did a hundred, no, a thousand. A thousand, just a thousand. Yeah, but I think that was my fault, actually.

I got the wrong. And then on your own, they were... On my own was when they said to me, they're going to have to write a bit for your car because we thought you'd be on longer than that. But you need to start doing charity gigs for your enemies. I ate charity. gigs.

Frank. You need to weaponise your kiss of death though. No, maybe I should. Why do you hate charity gigs?

That's so beautiful. That's a terrible thing. I hate anything when the only people not being paid at the performance. Oh my God. You know,

you do these children and need things. Everyone's getting their normal money and you're at moggings. Muggins. Muggins. Anyway,

so what happened then? How was your festival? It was good. It's still not the same as pre-COVID the fringe, I think. It's so expensive to stay overnight. Pre-COVID the fringe sounds like a Viking leader. Well, that was, of course, before the invasion by pre-COVID the fringe.

After elderly, I'm ready. Imagine what kind of incredible fringe you'd have to have on your head for the Vikings. It'd be full of a twisted sister, look. Imagine if your fringe was so amazing. Not twisted sister, swing-out sister. Although, you know, Twisted Sister still impressive hair, Frank. He had a fringe, but I don't think it was on his head. What, Dee Snyder?

Is that was on his last? Really? I don't remember that. Anyway, back to Pierre in the studio. Yes, so what's happened now, the audiences are very different. People come up for the day because staying overnight is like £400 a night in a hotel, if you're lucky. So you get a lot more people doing day trips from like North Yorkshire, North Lancashire, Glasgow. and that plus big pattern we all noticed this fringe

loads of really rich Americans wasn't that always the thing rich Americans at the fringe they've been gone for a while like a rare bird's they flew away and now they are back it's like polter guys they're back they're back hi there where's the castle the trouble is they don't stand out in the way that they used to

do you remember when back in our day on a white shirt said yeah and tauten trousers and back in our day you knew in America And as soon as you saw one in the street, now they integrate. I see, a few of them would leave my show. And they look, they had the face of people who own yachts. They kind of, just sort of slightly above tasteful amount of surgery. And sort of, she knows with a fold iron in and high-end luggage as they leave.

And they go, thank you. Yeah. Very amusing. these ghouls from Florida Keys they say thank you a lot thank you wow no tips from them their reputation does not proceed they must be so relieved

to get away from tipping culture I think that's it that wasn't me swearing by tontinomo shiree tipping culture yeah I mean I love Japan where you can't tip is not allowed is that right you can't tip in Japan

Right. Yeah, it's very rude. I hate tipping. So do I. I just get stiff with stress. I was hoping, when I saw those yacht-owning faces swimming through the crowd towards me, as they left the show, I thought, here we go. But people don't tip you for, because yours isn't a free fringe show, isn't it? Yeah, it's pay what you want.

It might be very well. Oh, yours is the bucket at the door. Yes, you go. So you can pay for a ticket to guarantee a seat if it's a popular show, or you can risk it. What would happen if I wanted to come? Would you arrange so that I had a seat? Or would I just have to take my chances with everyone else? You can buy a ticket.

Oh, how generous. Oh, gosh, that's a bit awkward. Oh, it's awful. Would you mean that you as a punter or you as my friend? He as your friend? Oh, then you could just walk you in. Okay, thank you. That's what I was looking.

Would you put something in the bucket? Um, I might give a small token. You wouldn't have to. But these Americans, I thought I'd get a little yacht in there. I feel if I went, everyone that had, been at the gig was what would be watching how much they would in the pocket that's why i put a lot out of support to you i think the thing is i get no catholic church if i put money on the plate everybody's watching to see what it is skinner's but only put 20p in no what i do is i pay

up front oh yeah what do you mean they can just commit you know to a so much a week but then doesn't the plate pass you by yes it does but then isn't that a bad visual you should have a card a gold card to show or something. I don't even see the plate. That's how I do it. I'm like Naomi Campbell being greeted as she enters a restaurant. I just don't see or hear. I just keep walking straight to here.

Or not even walking. Yeah, because it's all done. So, you know, I like not putting stuff on the plate. I bet you do. If I was paying in advance, I would still want there to be a, sign of that. I'd be worried about how it would look. I'd want to hold up the plate, nod at the priest, the priest, double thumbs up

pass it to the next person. Yeah, we should get t-shirts that we can wear from our saying I paid up front. I know it's different. In my hairdresser they still, there's... That would work in purgatory. I paid up front and then an area, just a list of people I'd been out with.

Yeah. Baseball hat with the word... Tides. In my hairdresser, they provide you brown envelopes, sort of George Grey Bunn style. Really? Which I rather like because it's a very classy joint. Like George Smiley? Yes. No, it's very football manager bum. And they give you a little

brand number and they go, there you go, there's your envelope. And what's nice... Why don't you like that? I don't like that. Why? Because I think this should be a convention between you that it's a surprise when you tip. Whereas if they've given you a fucking envelope The pressure on the bloody rude that is No, I love the embertsion

Frank, they don't just say here's the envelope If you are a tipper, which I am Because I like my hairdresser I tip my hairdresser How much? It doesn't give me a bloody envelope No, that's because you only give a 20p No, not true

I give them a £5. Do you? But the haircut's only £11,000, is it? Now that's the kind of guy I am. Okay. Well, mine's significantly more. What's your favourite way for? You like the people receiving the tip, but the whole thing is surprise.

That's the best, the optimum. I don't want anyone to assume that I'm going to tip them. That's just, I mean, I don't know why the tip. I just think I just charge more and leave me alone. That's what I think. Don't come on, I've got to do math. That's what I've said to a lot of my clients. And now there's multiple bloody choice thing.

Five percent. 10%, 1⁄2%. Yes, the percentage. I don't like that. I don't like that. You don't like that. You go up a glass of lemonade. So they pour a glass of lemonade and they give me a thing with a...

5%. A space for the tip. Yeah. No, that is mad. And what about then they say press red if you're a kind person and wish to donate to our chosen charity or green if you're a vile person. Green if you wish to see the children suffer. When I see red and green, the only thing I can hear is,

and is this clearer? All this. I like it in the Bond films in the casino where they slide some chips towards the croupier and they just slide it into a little hole and say, sir is most generous. Oh, yeah. That's great. I love that.

The whole tip thing, it's awful. Well, word got through to the yanks that you don't need to tip in Scotland, by God. I didn't know. He was a bucket guy still. Yeah, yeah. That's the monkey barrel way. is it um do you get like foreign coins and all that sort of things that people put in it get some quite odd yeah i got a five pound note from the isle of man which is nice okay but that was given to me as an open novelty from someone who had lived there and they found it and I know who I know who'll enjoy this last year I got a bunch of Turkish lira for some reason do you have yeah bizarre do you have a way that they can pay using cards yes on my phone tap my phone oh lovely contactless it's all very high-tech now You don't even need the car.

I just don't get it. I'm sure. Yeah. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. Well, I was walking this week.

I mean, I generally walk, but I mean, walking like, you know, 16 mile a day type walking. Because you go on one of your walking holidays. With my wife. Oh, I love your little walking breaks. You see all sorts of things you wouldn't see if he was driving around the contrary. Yeah. I noticed it was a big sign. There was a reading festival that was on.

Frank. And then I realised my mistake. So that was unfortunate. Well, that was where we walked. We walked from Ronnie Meade to Redding. Okay. Was there a reason that you chose those two? We just wanted alliteration.

I love that. Yeah. So we were going to stick with that. Ronnie Mead, which is famous, obviously, for the signing of the Magna Carta. Yes. But there is also a Ronnie Mead pleasure ground. which I wasn't aware of. There was an arcade machine in there.

I've never seen one in my long life. It was a big, it looked like a big wheel of fortune type thing. But it had a small seat, like an old 1940s metal seat, like they used to have on kids' swings. And you put your small, it said no older than six years old, it said on it. So you put a small child. I always find that reassuring in a gambling centre.

Yeah, well, this place, though, you put her on the seat. They put this little kid on a seat, and the mum stood facing her. And then it went anti-clockwise, I think to everyone's surprise. So she sort of, she emerged from below, as children do. And then also as children do, she backed her way into the distance. So it all looked wrong. Yeah. And the lights was flashing right next to the child's head.

It was the, what I was anticipating was, you know, that backward speech. Do you remember that guy, was it man from another place, was he called, on Twin Peaks? Yes. It was sort of saying, well, you're like a cop, I'm going off. It felt like everything was going backwards. Do you know how they did that, by the way? What, in Twin Peaks? Yeah.

No, what did they do? Do you know? You can read stuff out for Netflix. So it sounds like English when you reverse it. Well, what they did, they got someone to do the script, and then they reversed it, and then they got the actor to learn the reversed thing, and then they played what he said, the right, the other way.

Yeah. So he's speaking, but by then he's been through so much. So many. Word, you like a cup, a cup, it's all that. That gum you like is coming back, that kind of thing. So in this, what is this? I like about that guy. That guy, he was a very small guy who played the park.

And he really turned on David Lynch and started saying that he was told terrible things. Oh, I hate it when they turn. Oh man, when they do that. When the minor characters get angry. Well, he was quite a big character. No, but he's not done much. He didn't do much since. So they will get bitter.

It was. So this. The place you went to, was it an arcade? It was a house of fun. No, it was a place with lots of children's, you know, things that you're climbing on, climbing frames and slides. Yes. But this was a cafe where we went in for a quick jacket potato carb hit before we went on our long walk. Oh, I didn't know.

You could still get jacket potatoes in a cavern. I didn't want to eat once I was in the child going backwards, pinned to the wall like that. But what was the purpose of this round? You know there's an Alexander Pope line that you break a butterfly on a wheel? It looked like that. The idea was it was supposed to be a bit like a tiny, reversed, fairground ride

except you were tight against the wall rather than in mid-air, so to speak. I can't bear seeing children on fairground rides. I just think they look so vulnerable, and I can't bear it. Well, if anyone's aware of it, could be the specific one in Rodney Mead Pleasure Grounds or any one of these. I'd like to know. I don't even know what it's called. It could be one of those things where they sort of put up a little plaque saying this is the only surviving example of a Brighton frabulator. Yeah, maybe it's true. So

then we finally started walking and we was walking the Thames path. Right? Yeah. So we get onto the Thames and there's these two kids come cycling towards us. Yeah. And I suppose they were, what, 12 maybe? Yeah. They looked a bit like they'd come out of a 1950s newsreel. One of them got like brill-creamed hair straight back. Anyway, they both won bikes, and they went, hello, hello. So I said, hello, and they went, shut up!

Shut up! And then cycled away. And I, I didn't know what to. That was really pissed off about it. I eventually started laughing. It was the way they said. It wasn't even like they were rough work. Shut up!

It's the fact they didn't even swear. They weren't even confusing. Swear. They just said, shut up. They'd let me in to say hello. That was a trap. That's a really... You know what, Frank, they saw you coming.

You fell right into that... They must have been doing that all along the path. You fell right into that hallowed shop trap. That's a great prank. Is that a prank? I think maybe what they were doing, because in a way what they're doing is just, you know, that's a lot of relationships condensed, isn't it?

Just into four seconds. It's a sort of performance off. We'll be good practice for that. Yeah. For their relationship. in later life. Hello, shut up. Yeah, it is, yeah, fast track.

You were in the middle of a hovis advert and then suddenly... How many were there, Frank? Just two. One from 1954 and one from 1957, I would guess. Maybe they were hoodlums. That's what 50s hoodlums were like. Well, you know, I've long held the view

that the whole cycle culture is the best, example of broken Britain you can have because when I was a kid it was like men in men who looked like Philip Larkin who had suits and those metal bicycle clips yes and you know spectacles going to work in it all women would often have things in a basket sometimes a dog or library books being returned or something lovely gentle kindly bookish people and then the Olympics happened when we good and then there's all these men in like stretchy stuff going all those guys with the big bum pads yeah who you know crossing the zebra crossing they just keep going and they sweat and muscle and bums yeah so bumy

it's the the vile child cyclist is the new so it's basically the line bike skirm oh yeah The vial child. You see kids, whenever you see a kid and they've got a scarf up to the eyes, that's not going to be a good thing. They look like they're going to rob a train. Why do they do that so they don't get recognised? Well, because of CCTV. But that's bicycle culture.

It's just because it's got worse and worse. That's really shattered by allusion. You see kids on bikes now. You used to think, oh, famous five, they'll be off on a little adventure. No, you're thinking I'm actually going to get killed and robbed. It's so true, Frank. I remember the days I always say when a moped would honk its little horn at you and you think I might get a chaubella,

now you get your phone stolen. You don't you hear those mopeds? That was always true. On Italian holidays, they always used to say, wear your shoulder strap across your chest so it's harder for them to drag it on the shoulder. Yeah, I know what you mean about the cyclones. What expects it on the continent?

But in England. In Ronnie Mead? In Runny Mead. Shut up. Nothing was going by that bloody charter. The vile children. The vile children of Ranny Mead sounds like a good novel, I think. Have they no sense of place?

They not know where they are. Maybe they sort of, as long as we look like Famous Five, we can do our horrible pranks. We'll respect the aesthetics of Rennie Mead. How many people do you think they do that to a day, the shut up? I mean, were they up for another victim? My worst suspicion is no one else.

Because they just thought, look at these too old. Well, I sat for yourself. We were on the, me and Kath was on the platform. I won't go into details, but there's several detours on the Thames Path walk. So on one of them, it's quicker to just get a train one stop and missed the big horrible off the Thames Dita. So we were sitting on the platform

and we'd bought lunch and we were sitting on a bench on the platform eating sandwiches and cats said, I've never been more embarrassed or a shame. She said we look like an absolute couple of old. Let me translate, vaginas. Like two old vaginas sitting here. She said

Like a couple of vaginas Everyone looking at us Thinking like that I was old fools What are you eating All in old style hats and coats You know old people love sandwiches So once you start eating them publicly

And you've got grey hair Did you have a nice tea with you as well No we didn't have that Just the sandwiches No he might spill that Just sitting not talking Eating sandwiches Absolutely awful

Oh, it's so Alan Bennett player, I can't bear it. You've been heckled by the vile children of Ranny Mead and yourselves. And then we went, we're staying at a hotel in Eaton. Oh, that's a bit more like it. And we went, we had breakfast in the morning, but when you got the dog with you, you can't have breakfast in the restaurant. They put you in the bar, which I don't mind.

Yeah, but why do they always do that? I mean, my dog doesn't want to be in a bar. My dog's tea hotel. Anyway, so we're sitting there, having breakfast, the dog's on the floor, obviously. And the woman comes over with a big handful of blue roll, you know, blue roll? Yeah. No. The big blue roll from behind the bar.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know. And she said, shall I get that up for you? And I said, what? I thought, this is taking an odd turn. A woman arrives with tissue and says, can I get that up for you? Oh, friends. Finally, some hospitality.

Yeah, exactly. And I said, shut up! No, what she was referring to is the dog. The dog had just vomited on the floor. We were just sitting there having our breakfast, as if we thought, well, someone will clean it up. It's fine.

It's absolutely high. There's a pool of vomit. It's a pool of vomit. And Kat likes taking photos. See if I can find it. Cat takes photos. Oh no, you're okay. No, but the thing is, she'd taken a photo in which you could see this.

But she hadn't noticed it either. She just likes a photo of me. Frank is showing us a photograph of him at the breakfast. How could you not see? It is literally nuclear yellow. It is, yeah. It's vivid stuff. It is vivid.

Poppy has the look of a dog that knows. What did you say to the woman? Did you apologise? I had to go back at the end and say, look, I want to make one thing clearly out here. We didn't know. I was not sitting thinking, you know, one of these people, well, do we? And I said, we genuinely. I made a big false ability, so it's fine.

Is someone I want to run by you, actually speaking of eating? Yes, and I have some outside world I need to share with you briefly, but anyway. We went for a meal in a restaurant, and I'm not going to name the place because, well, you'll see why. It was a place we were staying at a hotel, not the eaten one. And so the guy came over, and again, Again, we had to sit in the bar on our own. We wouldn't go in the restaurants. We had the dogs.

But this was for an evening meal. Yeah. And we got the menu, and I looked through, and it looked nice, and Kath found something she could eat, which is a... Amazing. And I was starting to... And then I just started going, continued through the menu. You had a flick.

I found a whole section I couldn't understand called a home. comfort was the heading. And it had really nice food on it that wasn't on the main. What sort of a shepherd's pie type thing? Yeah, exactly that. And I thought, I really fancy a shepherd's pie. But is there something weird about it

that it's at this... It's post-deserts. What? Yeah. I don't like that they're putting you in a strange subsection just because you like a shepherd's pie. No, but there was other things

as well, I can't remember what the other... Oh, well, I took a photo, actually. I know what it will be. It'll be toned in the hole, these lights. I thought you might not believe me because it was so odd. But the fact that it was post-deserts through me. And so I called the waiter over.

Oh, God. This is the bit I drank. No, no, I was very nice. You said, excuse me? Never mind all this dog vomit. Why is the ship is by at the end of the menu? Please tell me, he said, shut up. I'm going to hand this.

over to the guys as everything's because no one believes a fucking thing you're saying nowadays. Frank, what? This absolute paranoia. I totally believed you. Okay. Honestly, so un-trusting. So, Shepherd's Pie, I'm getting the picture.

Scottish beef burger. I'm not sure I'd put King Prawn Linguini down as a house comfort, but there you go. These are quite mainstream mains, which would be hidden away. Anyway. So, I said, when the guy came over, I said, oh, what exactly is

the home conference menu? Why do you have to ask these things? Because there's stuff on there. And he went, ah, ha ha. Is it the shepherd's pie? What? I said, yeah, it is. I really fancy the shepherd's pie. He said, yeah. Yeah, people always love the shepherd's pie.

I said, yeah, but I don't understand why it's post-deserts on the menu. He said, well, the thing is, you see, We changed the menu. We got a new chef. No, they didn't get a new chef. That's not. So they just decided they were going to, you know, it's time for a change. Yeah.

So we got a new menu. So but we get a lot of regulars come here. And they said, oh, I miss the Scottish beef burger. Oh, I miss the Shepherds Pie. He said, so we put that on the end. They know it's there. But people, you know, who just come to the place. There should be more great.

I said, well, let me get this right. So the system is that someone who has never been here before comes and orders a main course. And then when they look at the desserts after, they think, oh, I never saw that section. I would have actually had that. And he said, yes, yes, that's the idea. But the stuff is not harder to make that they're hiding, isn't it? No, but they're trying to introduce the new menu and these stubborn regulars. asking for the fucking Sheppard's pie.

You know what it's like? It's like John Bon Jovi thinking, I'm not doing living on a prayer again. No. It's like a barman being asked to make a mehita. Their nightmare. Same with Shepherd's Pie. They've had enough. No, but you've ordered. You've eaten your meat and then you think I would have had that, though.

I actually think it's very deceitful. That's very tail wagging the dog, isn't it? Just the chef's boredom and ego driving the entire. restaurant policy. A thousand people a day want Shepard's Pie. We'd rather have none of them on it. Who is it? Bob Dylan is working out of kids here. We're doing pork sushi.

I like the chef wanting to do own staff all the time instead of the greatest thing. It's new stuff, isn't it? New material, no, it's at the restaurant. We don't want new staff. No, we want the Shepard's Pie. I had the Shepard's Pie. I'm not kidding. It's one of the nicest shepherds pies I've ever had.

Why can't the chef just accept? That's what he's good at. He's tortured. He's tortured by the fact that he's the best in the world at home comforts. There are six things he can do excellently. Stick to those. That's a lot of things to be excellent at. Next time I'll go there, I'm going to have chocolate proffiteroles

fallen by, Chef, it's fine. And say, look, yes, your chronology. I can get made that look. But he must be a self-esteem thing. He's watching Master Chef thinking, cung-powered chicken cold noodle salad with peanuts i can't do it i can only do to do it in the hole and shepherds pie and still all you want is knob jokes and here i am trying to talk about poetry that's what's happened to him you're like the chef i'm gonna when i did the encore on the next

tour i'm going to call it a home conference yeah it just be obscene the shepherd's pie is your nob jokes it is it is it really is yeah oh frank um have i got time to do you share something with you from the outside world before we head off. Andy has got in touch. Do you remember you shared with us some I'm going to call them sort of, there were news updates outside a branch of the

spa. Yes. A local spa store. Stock tickers. Yes. And Andy says I was driving through the county Antrim Hills at the weekend and couldn't help notice a sign in Blahey. Did I say that right? Yeah.

Remembering the podcast where Frank and enjoyed the latest news alerts and Pierre, I thought I'd share some latest bargains. So Andy has sent some photographic evidence, he's been taking pictures at the spa, thinking you might like to know what the news is. I mean, they're really bang, it's like they go through that, it's like

stock taking. It's like everything gets mentioned. They don't seem to be pushing anything in particular. No, a bit like that chef in that restaurant. I wouldn't get the chef's pie either. River Rock, 1.5 litres, one pound. I had to look up River Rock. Is it wine?

I assumed it was cider, I'm not going to lie, but it's not. It's water, which is encouraging. Radok shower gel, 225 milliliters, one pound. That's the other thing as well. They had things like 225 milliliter. I don't know about you, but for me, that could be something that a mouse could hold in its hand or something that you could use the shelter behind.

It could be Pierre. I have no idea what that means. Yeah, don't give me, I haven't come here to. of maths. No, don't give me millilitres. I don't want conversion. So Andy continues, never mind that. More exciting was the fact that the Spar News Alerts

Board has also become an effective motivational speaker. One alert, and he sent photographic evidence of this, said, good luck, Seamus on your skydive. I've been wondering ever since how well Seamus did do on his skydive. Don't you love

that you, do you think you can hire the... I hope you check this in the local news. you read this thing, yeah. I would say regarding luck and skydiving, the results of skydiving are pretty binary, I'd say. If you're alive, it's gone well. Yeah. If you're not.

You could break an ankle, I guess. I suppose, yeah. Yes, that's true. So exciting updates from the spinal bank. Now, that's good. I'm glad to hear that's still operational. Yes. Okay, so big news.

We are actually moving to 2010. in Frank Skinner's radio days. We've got over the first year. And in tomorrow's episode, we have Tim Key as our guest. Really? Yeah, fresh from his Edinburgh Festival win. I say win. That was in the days.

We had the champs post fringe. It's nice for Tim to be described as fresh. I like that. I don't know if he even had to be it then. No, he didn't. Wow. A smooth boy. What happened to her?

Anyway, so tune in to that and that's all from us. No, shut up. It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Thanks for listening to the podcast.

Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at avalonukk.com.