The Frank Skinner Show - Circle Pit

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

Frank has been to a festival this week and watched the Wimbledon final. There's also chat about Emily's jeans, a theatre outing and the Bayeux Tapestry. Email us on [e-mail] or Whataspp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Liam Neeson. Buy your tickets now and get a free chili dog. Chili dog not included. The Naked Gun, tickets on sale now. August 1st. It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh lady-o and the one with the French name who from South Africa came. They're all here open brackets hooray. Close brackets today.

Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na. This is Frank off the Radio, I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. Follow the podcast, follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can WhatsApp us on, let me see, maybe WhatsApp NOL. 07457, 4177, 69. Oh dear. Oh, it's that one. Oh, it's so sleazy. Oh dear. I don't like this kind of... I fell asleep the minute my feet touched the pillow. I enjoyed your cockney accent. Oh listen, I saw a garage the other day. You know they advertise things in places to draw

you in. Hmm. Said... That's a real alien or time travellers thing to say. You know there's adverts to draw you into places. You remember the messiest centre at Spa in Belaarie. It said extra long hoses. Right. Who is that? I thought the only people that benefits are people who've just stolen a car and they don't know which side the petrol tank's on.

So they park and think, thank God I'll go to one of the extra long, because I don't know which side it's on, I'm not going to stop now. What a strange... It's a strange PR strategy certainly. Monster trucks? Very high up on those big wheels? They don't go into your domestic garage. They don't go in because the hoses aren't long enough. Also you're not in Cape Town now love.

Is my sound coming and going or is that my imagination? It sounds like it's coming and going. Okay I'll carry on. It's just your imagination. Okay if I'm right I apologize to all our listeners because it must be very annoying that my sound is coming and going, but the sound man is nodding in a, that sort of nodding, looking like he's confident but with sweat forming on the top lip. That's because you just said if I'm right. Well, you know, who can say. So I had a lovely family night out watching Kneecap.

Oh, a lovely family night out. It was fabulous actually. They were really good. Can you tell me, at the risk of sounding like Dame Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey, what prey is Kneecap? Kneecap is an Irish, sort of West Belfast hip hop trio who've been in the news a lot for their political, they're very quiet political. I know who they are. Yeah. They did a thing where we all had to chant. I didn't because I voted for him. But we all had to chant something about Keir Starmer, which involves what we do. Let's put it this way.

My 13-year-old son said mid-chant, well, I don't like him that much, which is a good response to what we were being asked. Oh, I see. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, I love it when the kids start getting the dirty stuff. So opened up a whole new avenue in our conversation, I can tell you.

But they were actually really good. Were they? Yeah, very. They had a song, it's very Irish based in the main, so it has things like, Your Sniffer Dog's a Shite is the title of one of the songs. I said that to the police only this morning. A lot of it's in Irish, isn't it? Some of it is in Irish, but I can't really tell you any other titles,

because even, we do swear a bit on here, some of it is very top end swearing. But there's sort of a good laugh as well. At one point, one of the guys says, I mean, I know some people are very anti their political views, but just putting that to one side as a gig, it was very enjoyable. And he says, by the way, if you're in, I wanted to do the accent. If you're after being in London and arguing, no he didn't say it. It wasn't like that. Actually it's Belfast over here. It's all the same.

If you're in London. And anyway. Sounds like a threat. He said if you're in London in August. And I thought well that's fair enough. They're plugging their London gig. He said I've got another court appearance coming up. He said, Duke, we're trying to get a load of people for outside the court.

So we're getting some musicians to come along and we'll have a sing-song outside. Yeah. He said it'll be like live aid but with criminals. Which I did like. Although we did, they were going on about the fossils at the back. That's very rude, you were not that old. No, that's what he was going on about. Oh, is that what he meant?

Yeah. Oh, because you know, ageism is still unacceptable, even amongst the most politically aware. Yeah. So I was at the back and I am a bit old for a festival but I mean I wouldn't go in the marsh. What did the fossil say when he called them fossils? Did ever... We all cheered. Oh I love that you cheered, you owned it. Well done, I would have done that. I would

have been a fossil and proud. But there was a circle pit at one point and you can't put me in a circle pit at my age, it'd be like putting chicken in a blender. I'd just disintegrate. And they're gonna rock polish it. Oh, but you know what a circle pit is, Em? Well I assume it's like a mosh pit. Well it's a mosh pit, but they run round and round and round very quickly. Oh, I didn't know about that. Like a maelstrom. Like a human maelstrom. Like the seventh circle pit, I like to call it. But it was, yeah, I enjoyed them. What did you wear?

Well, I wore my trees, one of my collection of trees, because the festival was 2000 Trees. So I'm wearing one today, actually, they gave me another one. But I was wearing last year's at the time. Lovely. Okay. I also saw that night another Irish act, Bambi Thok, do you remember her? No. She was in Eurovision. Yeah, do you know? Yeah, she's dressed like a sort of Celtic kind of monster. Wasn't she at Eurovision? Well, she wasn't addressed, I'd say would be an overstatement. She doesn't wear a lot. But it's the whole thing with like wearing antlers and being covered in something. She's got dancing men.

You know how women have dancing men, like subservient dancing? Sabrina Carpenter I think likes a dancing man. Yeah, well I mean it goes way back to Madonna and all that. Who'd have thought we'd be saying way back to Madonna? Oh my goodness. Anyway, her dancers have got these big leather, like, masks on with massive holes. Tell them to call me. But this would have been a fossil. It was really hot at that festival. Of course, I

spent a lot of time thinking, they must be hot. In them rubber helmets. Oh, I bet they're hot. I'm saying it to Kath. I bet they're hot, aren't they? But maybe the compensation is that they presumably weren't wearing very much else. No, they weren't wearing much else. I rather like the sound of them. Do you know what I love? I love that you're just, not just owning, but I would say celebrating the word fossil in relation to you. No I think it's fair enough. I used to mock people that went to meet people like older people not as old as me. I think I've come back round again to go into

festivals but you know you get those people in their 50s who say yeah I went to Bank Note in Somerset and it was really great. Oh, grow up. Bank Note. That's what Glastonbury should be called. I love that one of Frank's worst insults are still, oh, grow up. Yeah, but 2000 Traces is a great festival, right? So there's no one, it's not like Glastonbury where there's people thinking, you know, if we got rid of the croquet stuff, we could have a festival

in our garden. There's none of that happening at 2003. It was really, and also on the, they were political and there was, there's a political thing, but do you remember at Glastonbury when Jeremy Corbyn appeared and the crowd went into the Five Nation Army? Yes. They went, oh Jeremy Corbyn. Oh Jeremy Corbyn. Well the closest we got to that.

Go on, you can ask me a question. Who was he on stage with? I can't remember who brought him out. Corbyn? Yeah, someone brought him out, a musician. It was a band, wasn't it? Yeah, I can't remember either. Was it Dollar?

No. It wasn't a Mumfordian choice, was it? Who would have brought out Jeremy Corbyn? They're a bit more Soho farmhouse, aren't they? Yes, very much. We'll have a think about that. Anyway, you came out and the crowd went, oh Jeremy Corbyn. Well, we chanted the same chant, except we were chanting, oh baby lasagna. And baby lasagna is another Eurovision star. It was a Croatian who had a hit with with rim tim taggy dim. Do you remember that? No. Rim tim taggy dim rim tim taggy dim rim tim taggy dim. Anyone? And the person who did that was called baby lasagna. It's called Baby Lasagna. It's called Baby Lasagna.

It's very hard to discern the difference I find in my waking life between sort of half remembered dreams. Yeah. Well, it's Croatian. It must be a Croatian name. Baby Lasagna's Rim Tim Tim song. Yeah, you could be making that up. I'll accept that.

No, no, it's absolutely true. And I have to say, I mean, who'd have thought he was like a Eurovision, he was second in Eurovision. Second? What sort of era are we talking about? Well, one he like took a couple of years. Oh, that's the problem. I'm a bit old school with the year, my year and a half. Oh, we're still deep into it in our house. Are you?

But he was brilliant. He did the most brilliant set. That's what we're talking about. Does he theme lasagna into his act? His first song is called Baby Lasagna, in which he sings about himself, which I've always thought when people have those songs with their name in, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Does Garfield come up in his lyrics? No. Is that Garfield's favourite food? Yes, famously. Oh, I don't know.

Garfield the Cat Loves Lasagna. He did one of my favourite intros to a song of all time. He said, okay, this one's about anxiety. It's called Stress. I thought, you could have just stopped. You could swap those. Why did you just... No, but there's the other song called Anxiety, so you had to have a different one. Which one's that one?

It's my anxiety. You know that one. Yeah. There was a famous, there was a, they weren't famous, but there's a famous review in NME of this punk band. And he said there was a moment where amidst all the sort of spitting and swearing and shouting he said, look, this next song is a bit different I wrote it for my father who died a couple of months ago and you know it's from the heart

it's called Dead Dad! Oh my god! They've all done totally seriously and all true! There's obviously a punk who thought I need to write something about my dad but I can't quite work out. I kind of love that they just dispense with nuance and euphemisms. Yeah, I need to artistically express my grief but I'm trapped by my genre. I wish I'd just called my book that.

He probably thought. I mean it's the trick though, right? Now can I just ask you a question? Did you watch the Wimbledon ladies final? Do you still say ladies? Okay. I think it's fine. Well, I don't know.

You know, I'm representative. All the single women. I identify as a lady. And I'm very comfortable with that. Okay, fair enough. Well, as you're here, it's fine. Yes, yes. So no one can do sexism, autism jokes, South African jokes. Oh my god. Muscle man jokes. Yes. Beefcake. October on the firefighters calendar jokes.

Short ladies. Short ladies. I actually looked quite closely at Emily Deen's bomb today at her invitation. Cut that there. And I thought what am I looking at here? How dare you? How dare you? I have had some reviews in my time. No, don't get me right. I was trying not to see you. I was trying to see your jeans. And the point Emily was making... Millard. I was very interested in your jeans and the point Emily was making... Millard. I was very interested in her jeans, Millard.

I was trying to feel the jeans. That was Robert Winston's defense. I'm a connoisseur of fabrics and I was trying... I was trying to find her genetic makeup. If anything, the bum was in the way. I am... Well, happily, the bum was the other side of the jeans. Yes. Otherwise, it bum was in the way. I am well happily the bum was the other side of the jeans. Yes. Otherwise it would have been too intimate. Yeah yeah. But

the point was that. Well to me I did say. I said can I actually touch your. I said I can't. You said you've I've known you a long time just do it. Now what I actually said is you're don't be silly you're like my doctor. So, what it is, it's an optical illusion in that Emily's wearing jeans. Well, they're not jeans, are they? I'll tell you exactly what they are. Go on, tell me. They are Trompe-Loi. You're familiar with Trompe-Loi?

I think I had it on a dim sum once. It's French for trick of the eye. Trompe-Loi, Trompe-L apostrophe. So, trick of the eye. That Loy, Trump L apostrophe. So, trick of the eye. That's a good one to know. And they are called, they are a sweat pant gene. They've gone absolutely viral. My best friend bought them for me for my birthday. Well, you should wash them more thoroughly.

Oh, Frank. For God's sake. And when I open them, I've got to be honest, she said, she knows me very well, because she said when you open these, you'll, oh my god these are disgusting, they're like jeggings or something. Do you remember jeggings? Jeggings were denim leggings and they were horrific. And I did open them and I thought, oh my god these look like doll denim. They look like the sort of denim my Fonzie doll had. Well they look like the denim that used to, when you got them out of a catalogue, you got a denim. Remember I got a denim jacket once that wasn't a denim jacket when it arrived. It looked like denim. But they, they actually have the seat, what I wanted to touch was the top of the pocket. Oh yeah, a likely story. It looked totally 3D. And where was the top of the pocket, Frank? Well, it was, I'd say... It was on the bum. Your lower waist.

But it was, there was no pocket. As I said to you at the time... It was a trompe-loi. Trompe-loi? Loi. As I said to you at the time, touch my bum. Yes, written by their own mother. Yes.

Good night. Anyway, they're designed to resemble genes. They're by a company called Rag and Bone. You know a lot about that. This is a designer. They're only human. Rag and Bone. Remember that headline? Rag and Bone man gets married in trainer. Wow. Unbelievable. Is this the number, Ragenbone Man? They don't live very long. Well, don't. Oh my God, Frank. No, of course he's still around, yeah, but he'll be right. You know, they write. He sounded like that posh woman. Can I say that? When I was growing up, people were always saying of certain sections of society of course they don't live very long. Can I say that thing about... I can't remember what it is but I'm shuddering with fear.

We take nothing out. Okay well maybe I shouldn't then. Anyway, but anyway I'm absolutely thrilled. They look great and they are they utterly fooled me I must say. Because I think the thing is they're a bit more polished than a normal sweat pant. Yes. It's this is what's happening in fashion Frank. It's all about prioritizing comfort over everything. It's a post-pandemic movement in fashion yeah. That's what I was always like at fancy dress parties. You know people who turn up and they're like a fortune

teller's booth, they're dressed. So you think, oh you're getting stared at now but come about 11 you'll wish you weren't wearing that. Whereas I have come as Hugh Hefner in pyjamas and a dressing gown. Although one of my favourites, do you remember you came to Jonathan Ross's Halloween party and you had, did you come as a tombstone or something? Oh yes I did come as a tombstone. That was really good though. But you looked oddly comfortable in it.

Well it was, I mean it was a tombstone mounted on my shoulders. So yeah, I could still sit down and even lie down. And fall down. So I was watching the ladies final and it was a woman called Amanda Anisimova. She got beat six love, six love. Absolutely hammered. Oh yes. And you know they did the speech after and I thought they're not gonna make her do a speech. So poor woman has been tranced and her mum had flown over from... Wasn't it, Frank, one of the worst losses in several decades? I think it's somewhat like 100 years.

So anyway, I thought she won't do it. But what she did, she went off, I think, and composed herself. And she came back and the crowd gave her the most massive cheer. You know, we love a loser in this country. Speak for yourself. And it was great. crowd went mad and she said I just want to thank the crowd's been so good and I want to thank my mom and and they were all eh you know applause and they loved her but man she went on.

Oh. She really went on. Oh no. And all my team and I thought, oh. No, we've given you the floor. And at the end, she finally ended and it went. Oh, yeah. We're glad you lost. Love was too many for that speech. Yeah, I thought, oh, you've lost. If everybody, they loved her. They were so on her side, they wanted to raise her up, but you got to show up.

You got to shut up. That was her chance to have one of those quotes. She just had one or two sentences. It would have been those quotes that get put up in PE teachers' offices all around the world. Yeah. Well, you should have shouted, what's the thing you heard once at the Birmingham football match?

Sit down, we've seen you. Yeah, that's what you should have shouted at the editing. Somebody had shouted that. Sedan with Sydney. Yeah, anyway. I've still always wanted to use that in the theatre. Talking of which, Frank, we had a theatre outing, didn't we? Oh, yes.

We went to the Globe. We went to see your friend. Yes, your friend. George Foracus. We are the loyal friends to him. Yes, I'm very envious. I had to go do a lowly work in progress for the Fringe. Well, we went to see George in Merry Wives of Windsor and he's playing Falstaff. He's playing Falstaff. That did make us feel very, I mean, when the millennials start getting's playing Falstaff. He's playing Falstaff. That did make us feel very, I mean when the Millennials start getting cast as Falstaff, what's left for us? Nursi over here? If I'm lucky, Nursi. And also relatively slim Falstaff. I don't think he's any good. He had a padding on I noticed. He had a bit but you can't do a big, you can't, you can't

actually. He played it, he was brilliant, we should say. Wasn't he, Frank? He was so good. He was. As I said, I texted Pierre. Did you? Because I said he was really funny and sort of horrible the way he is. But he also sort of slightly broke my heart, which is kind of very clever, if you can put it like that. He was brilliant.

He was what my parents... Oh, he's good! Four acres. He's what my parents would have called a bloody good little actor. Oh, four acres. I dream of that. We saw some celebrities. We saw Mark Lawson. Someone was telling me. Mark Lawson we saw, didn't we? I met a friend at the weekend and he bought some.

Congratulations. I knew him already. I don't like any new ones at my age. Not worth it. Oh God, so bleak. He'd bought some land and he said he was a bit worried that he'd paid too much. And he said to a friend, yeah, I've bought this land. And the friend said, no, no, it's good. They don't make it anymore. That's a very good, he said, I felt fine about it after that.

They don't make it anymore. Anyway, sorry. We saw Mark Lawson. He said, he gave Frank a nice nod, but I'm not gonna lie. He didn't stare around and chat. I think he thought we might've been a bit silly to talk about Shakespeare, I don't know. But Frank had, I couldn't help but notice... He's alright Mark Lawson because he writes in the tablet, the Catholic Journal. Oh, it doesn't take much. Frank has...

Wants to write in the tablet? No, I'm saying for you to be worn over. Can I say that Baby Lasagna is also a practicing Catholic. Oh, there we go. And we're everywhere. Really? Frank, you had a rather unfortunate neighbour at the Globe. She was a popcorn fan, it's fair to say. No, but she had.

It was in Cessent, Pierre. But you know those really big... Glad I missed it now. You know those really big packets of popcorn? Yeah. She had four of those. She had four. Oh, come on, mate.

Yeah? You know, you sound like my builder trying to talk in a car... I think it's all right. When my builder tries to ingratiate himself with me, oh, come on, mate. Come on, four. I think it's all right at the Globe though, isn't it? Because you imagine the groundlings eating whelks and things like that. It's got to be everyone or no one.

She had her hand in that salty bag for three... Frank! Well that was the only reason I didn't... Oh my god! Oh my god! You know, a deal's a deal. I'd like to apologise to everyone at the Globe Theatre, everyone involved in the Royal Shakespeare Company. Yes, she did. She would not get her hand out. She was a woman who shouldn't have been at the theatre in lots of ways. An idiot.

No, but she wasn't. Signifying nothing. She couldn't sit still and stuff. And, you know, she was taking photos even though they stand for 10 minutes before holding up signs and don't take photos. So someone had to start. Did they? Yeah. And I just think she was, I felt for her in a way. That's what I saw.

She felt trapped. Well. Had she been lured in there by the bags of popcorn? Do you know, I held out a lot of hope for her initially because she had what I'm going to call... She had glasses on. And she had piano teacher energy, which is always good I think. She had maybe a bright coloured lip, some slightly eccentric glasses.

I thought we're going to be okay with you. She had piano teacher energy. That's why she never took her hand off the salty bay. Frank, really? Well. And then even en route there. En route? En route, trompe l'oeil, check me out. Check me out. It's like jus en frontier in here. Frank, what about on the way there, we're walking there and this man, he was shirtless I'm not wait to get their shirt off. He was ostentatiously shirtless. Yes.

And he was... He was on a bike, he had hair like Max Headroom's, you know what that means? Immaculate hair, shades. He looked ridiculous, let's be honest Frank. He looked like an let's be honest Frank. He looked like absolute, anyway. And then he starts doing, I don't even know what they are, they were sort of showy off e-bike moves. Well there was a red light, he went through the red light as all cyclists do obviously,

he went through the red light but then he went onto the other side of the road, the cycle, and he missed a woman by like three inches. He was sort of doing all these ET moves up in the air. I mean he looked ridiculous and Frank said, so Frank said I'm sorry I know it's horrible but I really wish he'd fall off. But I did. I did. I didn't want him to die but I wanted him to be in hospital for more than two nights. No. He was awful.

He was. Some people like that, that's their only chance of teaching them. It's like people used to get show jumping horses to jump higher by putting hedgehog skins on the top of the fence. I know it's cruel and I don't approve of it now. I know it's horrible. But it worked. Hedgehog skins. Yeah. Not even just a live one on there for an afternoon.

No, you can't keep them moving about. That's the trouble. When we were leaving the globe. You don't want to get round to the big fences and they've left. When we were leaving the globe, there was some more irritants because you know, obviously everyone, there's hundreds of people descending down these, let's be honest, quite, you know, rickety wooden stairs. And there was someone texting. Oh, come on.

But what was great is, and we're all- I am on the stairs. Behind this woman, everyone's about to, and Frank, I just hear Frank saying to me, I know it's horrible, but. And I thought, you know what, I'd buy that book. I know it's horrible, but ellipsis. I would so buy that book, Frank Skinner. Did you see, did you see? With Luke Kennedy? I, you know, you know, we did Harriet Kemsley last show.

She was lovely, wasn't she? It was, I thought was an amazing interview. And we saw a side of Harriet Kemsley that we've never seen before. I thought it was really very very special. Okay, I say that Because I watched the BBC The other day and they got a 15-minute interview with Donald Trump and on both cases That's how they preempted it today. They? They said, like on the news, the evening news, Fiona... Bruce? Question time.

Bruce? Yeah, Bruce. She went, she was like kidding her, oh, and oh, we've got this, oh man, we had this interview with, and I thought, this better be really special, but I'd already heard it on Radio Five with someone else going, it's really the most incredible interview and here it is. And of course he said nothing that he hasn't said before 20 times.

He wasn't suddenly talking about it. And then at the end on both occasions, they had two experts on saying, well this is a side of Trump we've never seen before, very intimate, honest. Yeah, because he's well known for holding back and not offering his opinions. Very guarded back. How did you bring him out of his shell? They were, oh man, they were going, I mean, it's hot in a minute, you won't believe this

interview. And it was just the usual gibberish. Just absolute usual stuff. And then experts say, I mean, this is really groundbreaking. He's never gone off topic in exactly this way before. It reminded me of the smile of evil, which was a thing, somebody had killed somebody and they had a picture of him in the Daily Mail and it said the smile of evil. And I thought, who would believe they killed someone and then he's smiling. And after I looked at it for about 10 minutes, I he's not smiling, he's not actually smiling they've just said the smile of evil and I've gone with it and that's what the BBC was writing. Oh you won't believe this, this Roder DeMille

interview. When they played the clip and he was just going, do dolphins play golf? I don't know, just the usual kind of insane. That smile of evil is a bit like, what was it? Sadness in his eyes. Yes, yeah. Do you remember that? The Labrador. I can't do this as well as Pierre. He said, do you remember we talked about Brexit at the golf thing?

And the guy said, yes, sir. He said, and I called it exactly right. He said, you did, sir. You called it exactly right. He said, yeah, I got it very right. Very right. Very right. Right. Did you hear him talking about going, I got a friend, very rich businessman, very, he got the fat jab.

He gets the fat jab. He gets the fat jab, the fat shot. I call it the fat shot. It's the fat shot. I call it that. He gets the fat shot. Doesn't work. But the experts, one of the experts said, that was really, and I opened it when he talked

about the assassination attempt. I've never, that was really an eye-opener when he talked about the assassination attempt. I've never heard that was really quite. What he said was, and I was there when the thing is, it was very quick. I didn't, so quick. I didn't really, it was too quick. I didn't notice. And he said, but it must have changed you in some way. I don't think about it. I thought, well, this is a real insight into how it affects me. Funny how we've never heard anything about that man. Disappeared. Interesting. Frank, I think it's time we heard from our fabulous readers. Yes. You said a mouthful. No. Go on then, let's do it. I love hearing from our amazing readers. Okay. So we have this in from David. Hello Emily, Pierre and Frank. I just wondered whether the Anglo-Saxon files...

I don't like the billing on that one. Oh yeah, I didn't think you'd like that. The Anglo-Saxon files. That'll be you too. It's like the X-Files. Oh I see. ...are excited about the Bayer tapestry coming home and is Frank worried about the Lewis Chessmen going on tour?

Love the show, oh sorry a bit of praise there, inadvertent praise, that was from David. Not just the Lewis Chessmen but many of the Sutton Hoo treasures are going in. Really? In a Swapsie as well. I don't know if that's a good idea. Well there's a perfectly good copy of the Bayeux tapestry in a Reading museum. Is there really? Just saying. Well, they're displayed, this is going to be displayed, this is 2026. So it's coming home in 2026. So it's an anniversary thing. It's 900 years of hurt. Because also when they say Macron is apparently

generously loaning it to us, but some are suggesting, is it really a loan? It was made here, made in England. Almost certainly. It was made in Kent, I believe. They should do a test. The dream would be to do a little test. But it would have been commissioned for Big Will, wouldn't it? Presumably. Yeah. So its provenance is a bit murky, but the way it's made suggests Anglo-Saxon. So is mine, dear. The way it's made suggests Anglo-Saxon craft. I also discovered reading about this and I didn't know. I never thought of kings having surnames. And it said it depicts Harold Godwinson. Yes. What do you mean Harold Godwinson? Sounds like he lives in the road

next to you. It's too weird. They shouldn't have surnames Pierre. Son of Godwin. No, but that's not right. Well, you're going to call it's too weird. It's good you'd like that though because the Godwins were like the Kennedys, they're really powerful, powerful, morally corrupt, manipulative family. Obsessed. Yeah, no, you'd like them definitely. Okay, I'm going to get involved. Did Norse have the nicknames? Would you prefer those? Svein Forkbeard?

No, I just want them to be one. What's that one, Eric the Boneless? Ivar the Boneless, yeah. Oh, I wouldn't have called him. Yeah. No, exactly. He would not have't have called him. Yeah. Exactly. He would not have been getting anything. I mean, at least he was upfront about it.

He was much more convenient. Well, he was upfront. Much more convenient to eat as well. Yeah, he was very good at the pov. I don't know about that. Oh my God, what's happened to us? Yeah. We've had some...

Well, I think, wasn't William the Conqueror originally known as William the Bastard? Is that right? He was accused of being a bastard, yeah. Oh, those exes do get angry. That was an ex. That would be a good thing. The ex factor of podcasting was you interview your exes and say, what do they think?

Has anyone done that? I wouldn't do it for a million pounds. I was going to say, imagine being the booker. Imagine the difficulty of it. Someone did write an interesting book on it called Remembrance of Fling's Past, which I thought was a very good title. Yeah, whenever you get a title that good, the books are never any good. I couldn't possibly comment, but you may have reason again. I haven't read that. But you remember there was a chat show called Winton Wonderland with Dale Winton.

Oh, was that any good? I never watched it because I thought that won't be any good. That's been commissioned because someone's thought, oh, I'll tell you this works. Title first. We've also heard, we've had several others, so we'll get to them as well maybe next time. But I would like to share this with you because it's made me so happy. Longtime reader, first time caller, all praise redacted. I was delighted to hear your recent anecdote, Emily, about Derek Jacobi winning a business

class flight in a raffle as I too was there. I've been telling that story for years, aware that no one ever really believed me. Me too! It was a charity do. Jonathan Ross was presenting Sir Derek with the prize, which must have been why I was there. Yeah. And I was briefly sitting next to David Furnish, who introduced me to Hugh Grant. Worst name-dropper than me, this chap. I love him.

Right, this guy. He introduced me to Hugh Grant, who insisted that we'd met before. We hadn't. But I realised that this was simply Hugh Grant's charming way of dealing with people in case they'd met him before, but he'd forgotten them. Very good. It's just brilliant. You go,'ve met before, haven't we? Very clever. Yeah, that is good.

Throw in a few. Yeah, yeah. Try it on, you see if it works with you. Hello, I'm Emily. I think we've met before, haven't we? You sound a bit suspicious, Frank. Yeah, well. You've got to sound a bit more sort of urbane. The thing is, it's only a matter of time before I am saying that to you.

sort of her bane. The thing is it's only a matter of time before I am saying that to you. I don't really want to start practicing this early. Oh god Christmas future. Normally when people say brain training they mean to avoid that. When I say to people then do do you know who I am? I'll really mean it. Anyway, when I tell that story in the future and can sense doubt from the listeners, I will simply replay your podcast. That's from, I don't know if it's called Cheshire, oh yeah Cheshire Ian. That's from Cheshire Ian. But can I say how happy that made me? Because I always sense there's a slight... did that really happen? Did Derek Jacobi really... No one believes anything nowadays. Yeah, but it's great when you get a witness. Thank you, Ian and Cheshire.

You watched him do the little bow with the namaste. He did the namaste. Thank you, thank you. You know, I remembered after you told that story that I want a bottle of wine at a raffle at West Bromwich Albion. I just didn't go and get it. I pretended. So I thought, I can't go and get it. I don't know.

Jacoby didn't have any shame about getting a business book. And also, wouldn't you? He had nowhere to go. I wouldn't mind. He just went out there and walked around the airport. But Frank, wouldn't you say, I would have assumed that Jacobi, I was sort of waiting for him to say, listen, this is so generous of you, but I couldn't possibly accept it. For I am a wealthy, famous actor.

I will gift this to someone else. I'll put it back and choose another ticket. Not Jacobi. He thanked us. Thank you. Thank you. And she pulled off to New York. What a winner, Jacobi, he thanked us, thank you, thank you. I love this. And she pulled off to New York. What a winner Jacobi is, by nature.

Everything lands in his lap. God bless him. It's Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, it's the Frank Skinner podcast don't you know. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankofftheradioatavalonuk.com.