The Frank Skinner Show - Distorted WhatsApp Jingles

Episode Date: August 28, 2026

Frank is joined in Edinburgh by Katie Norris and John Kearns. The WhatsApp jingle decides to give up in this episode, Katie’s into tarot cards, Frank’s loving his freedom pass, and John realises he may have offended Sue Perkins. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. It's Frank off the radio It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know

Trailers for a sale or rent Rooms to let 50 cents Okay, this is Frank Off the Radio I'm joined by John Kearns and Katie Norris Follow the podcast on X and Instagram You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio Tavilon UK.com As for WhatsApp

I don't about you. I couldn't hear a damn word on that. Oh no. There was someone singing on that? Apparently, they used to be, but it's gone very, very wrong. I did wonder what the listener would be doing. Yeah, well, that was our WhatsApp number. Apparently it's...

Can I just add a WhatsApp? I don't know what's happened. I just think it sounds like wherever that's been recorded is underwater. It was distorted. I looked at Katie like, what people like, people like go, oh yeah, WhatsApp. Yeah, that was terrible. I sounded like my ex's music. Oh, do you know what I actually thought?

I was like, I don't know what to do here because I think maybe that sounds like Frank's like recorded that himself. Yeah, and then you want to be kind. I'm like a sort of shoe gaze when the vocals are really down in the mix. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm talking about? Anyway, you can watch up us on 07457-417-769. That was clearer. Yeah, yeah.

What a weird experience because we play those every week. I'm just going to ask you, does that, did it sound clear to you guys? No, and everyone checked, thank God. I thought I was having an exorcist type experience. or everyone else could hear it clearly. The devil speaking backwards. Yeah, I could just hear the devil doing it. And devil doing your WhatsApp.

You've arrived. You know you've arrived. The devil does your... I pulled my tarot before I came to this podcast this morning. I got the devil. Okay. So there you go. You just pull a card out?

I did. I just fancied it, yeah. And it was the devil. So there you go. Are you a tarot enthusiast? Yeah, before it was cool. Okay. So last month.

But not before it was cruel. I know, I know. I hate tarot. I had a horrible tarot experience. Oh, go on. No, I can't even relate it without crying. But it led to, it predicted it had death and all that in it. And then someone I was very close to didn't die, but they got very, very ill indeed.

And I, and Melvin Bragg, who I was playing with, I remember him saying to me, he said, yes, I used to to play with a woman who got death twice and then she took her own life and I thought I'm never ever playing tarot again play well you know it was it originated as a card game it was a game it's like because it's in suits yeah there's like ask a dumb question

what does the devil represent the devil isn't actually represent necessarily death they always say that yeah yeah the tower is the one that's representative of something happening that's like a big kind of catastrophe I thought the tower was going to be in my first direction since 2022 do. But that didn't come up. It came up with death. We couldn't separate them. Oh man. I hate. I'd never, ever go anywhere in the tarrow again.

Be careful. Thank God. Be careful, Katie. This is something that... I've got into it in lockdown when the friends would do it. Yeah, yeah. And I can read them all. Oh, you can? Yeah, yeah. Has it come true? Do you... Yeah, I mean, I just, I don't think it's magic or anything. I wouldn't say that. Well, I just feel like it's almost like a therapeutic technique. It brings forward like maybe things in your subconscious or whatever. Sometimes it doesn't necessarily resonate, but yeah. Crystals are big up here.

I've got my crystal here too. Oh, you're a crystal person, right? Yeah. Well, Edinburgh is full of shop. I got interviewed on Radio Scotland and they said if Edinburgh was a shop, you know, you get questions like this. People think, oh, God, what hasn't he been asked? They said if Edinburgh was a shop, what shop would it be?

Books and crystals, I said it would sell funereal candles. That is the feeling I get from. The shops are also dark and occult up here. Yeah, they really are. There's one near my flat where I'm staying in a Leith and I've been going, I've gone there five or six times, and every single time I go, there's a sign on the door hunting written saying, I'm not feeling very well today, so I won't be opening the shop.

And I'm like, where's my fucking crystals? And she's like, I'm feeling a little under the weather. You were last Wednesday. It's Sunday, it's Saturday and you're never here. Oh, God. I think they died in the 80s, and that sign's been off ever since. Oh, man. I find the shops a bit freaky.

Even my local pound land has got actual human skulls in it. Wow. Not really. Thanks for Ronnie with that guys. Horrible thing to call the staff. Yeah. I don't know. They take it as a compliment.

Look at your horrible human skulls on minimum wage. I can honestly say I didn't think that about them. I mean the human bit. It's a pound an hour in those shops. I suppose it would be. But yeah, they get past the minimum wage thing. But there's nothing in there that's a pound. I know, not anymore.

That's all gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a shame that all we old ways are dying out. What are you doing in a pound shop? Oh, I just, you find... I'd hate to see you in a pound shop. I, yeah. Kill me.

I know, it's a bit... Some people who get very angry about me being in a pound shop and it's not for the likes of you. That's what they'd say. That's what people say when you go see the Reddenborough shows as well, isn't it? Yeah. You like the bus pass, right? Yeah.

I heard you talk about that? Yeah. Freedom Pass, I've got. Yeah, you love that, yeah. I sought freedom most of my life and got it when I was 66. When it was too late to really do anything much. I love the bus pass. Some people think that someone like me shouldn't have a bus pass.

That's wrong. Yeah. My dad has a mate who if he lived across the road would get a free bus pass. But he's just on the wrong side of the council. Oh no. Yeah, yeah. And he won't like meet up with them. And then he kind of like takes, he kind of sulks about it a little bit.

He's like, yeah, well, you guys can travel for free, but I can't. He's like 70. Well, the way I see is the people who say, you know, someone, with a few bob in their pocket, you shouldn't get a boss pass, is I get that boss to a place where I might spend maybe two million quid. So it's good for the economy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot in a pound shop, though. Yeah. You're clearing them out. I'm thinking of a Lamborghini dealership. Just get the boss there. She don't want to drive there. Otherwise, you're leaving your old car on the forecourt.

Well, yeah. You've got to think about that. You've got to think ahead. If you're going to buy a Lamborghini, get the fucking bus pass out. I want to see you wearing, you know, these Ray bands that have cameras in. Oh, yeah. I want to see you leave your house. Get on a bus, your point of view.

Hello, Frank. Yeah, you're right, mate, yeah. Walking into Lamborghini in Park Lane. The trouble is, if you look back over my, the topic areas of my stand-up, if I went out in those glasses, everyone would assume I was up skirting. Yeah. because you're always crawling on the floor

Yeah, I could never have those glasses Yeah, very high My very highly polished shoes Standing very close to women in dresses Now, I know people would not They would think the worst He's always dropping his glasses near me Yeah, exactly

I mean, how long a land yard Do you need on glasses Your readers Tranging behind you I could have those, you know I was once on sticks in films when people are at the theatre. They have glasses on a stick. I could have that.

Or a monocle. Oh, gosh. No, I wouldn't. I'm a married man. Why don't people just trust me? I was called a gentleman the other day. That's when you know you're getting on a bit. I let a woman into the flats where I'm living at in Edinburgh.

And she got the phone call. And she said, no, I'm in, I'm in now. And there was a pause with him obviously, or him or her saying, how'd you get it? She said, a gentleman let me in. Oh, God, like I was in a top hat, and a guy. The butler let me in. Like Mr. Monopoly had let her in. But it did make me feel old.

Oh, I would have been a guy, even three years ago, I think it would have been a guy. Some guy let me in. Some bloke. No, as a gentleman's let me in. Well, we're coming to the light. Oh, man. I've just been nominated for a new award in Edinburgh. The Mother Award, and I've just been nominated for that. Wow.

Is it a hip-hop thing? No, but I was like, oh, that's the Mother Award. Really? Yeah. But you, aren't you, your show is called? Mother Suckubac. Yeah. So I did sort of sort of, is there any other mother-based shows in Edinburgh that were up for the award?

A couple. What is mother energy? What's Anne Hathaway? She's like... She's like... She's like regarded as like mother. Well, it's a vibe, not necessarily like, you don't have to have children.

No, no, no, I know. But like what is the vibe? The vibe is kind of like an all-seeing, all-knowing kind of presence. Oh, you don't have to have children to have mother energy. No, no, no. Is it like kind of a... Mother energy, in my experience, is...

Oh, fuck. It's like no energy at all. Oh, shit. Why? I remember when my child was born, my wife said to me and she never says things. You know my wife, John. She said, I didn't know what life was about until we had this baby to change everything. And I thought, oh-oh, that's the least Kath thing you've ever said.

She's called Kath. I thought this won't bear well. In a week, she said to me, we were pushing the boggy, and she said to me, we have made the biggest fucking mistake of our lives. And I thought, oh, thank God, she's back. She's back.

Yeah, that was a dicey week. I thought I'd lost her, but now she was still in there. Oh, man. Oh, is it not? Is it a... I hadn't heard of it before, my friend. Is it like a sexy thing?

No, it's like a kind of, it's like, a queer thing, isn't it? Is it more Earth mother? It's a queer thing? Yeah, yeah. It's like, RuPaul has a song called Mother. And it's kind of, yeah, it's a queer thing. It's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, well, well done. Thanks. I didn't see you on that. Is there a father? No, oh, there's daddy. Obviously, there's daddy, yeah, yeah. I was up for the Suspicious Uncle Award. Suspicious Uncle, yeah.

Yeah. That would be a great award, actually. Not one I'd want to get that, really. No, no, no. Really, but I bet I'd be on the, yeah, suspicious uncle energy. That's what I've got. And they are in endless. Then there's the weekend dad energy.

It's your one. Just kidding. Oh, man. So that's great. You've been nominated for someone. something. Yeah. Isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, as we record this, I should say, the nominations for the main Edinburgh Award have not yet been aired. A few hours now, isn't it? So there's a tension in the air. Obviously, I don't, you don't get one if you're my old, my age, my old. If you're my old, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to start using that, I think, as a noun, old. Yeah.

If you win it, Frank, you can't win it again. I thought Al Murray won it twice. You've won it twice? Yes. Oh, well, there you go. A newcomer and then the main one. I thought Al Morrie won the main one twice. No.

He got nominated four times. Oh, okay. Wow. They won it on his fourth time. Yeah. I mean, when I won, I don't know, when you won it, was he? You gave it to me. I know, I remember.

And you opened the envelope went, oh, I like this guy. My wife's his agent. Yeah. And I thought, oh, well. I think that's our showbiz presentations. A few people went, fuck me. Yeah, I bet. That's a bit close.

Did they think it was fixed? I did hang around and find out. Well, I got nominated for 19 television, sorry, comedy. Remember the British Comedy Awards that used to be on TV? Jonathan Ross used to host. Over the years, 19 nominations, they only won it once.

And that year, my manager was on the judging. There you go. And I got up and I said, I'd like to thank my manager for this. He was on the judging panel this year. And afterwards he said to me, I really appreciated you thanking me, completely missed the deep sarcasm of the management. It just took it as a personal tribute. I left it there.

I didn't correct him. I remember at the photo shoot, you know, you have any photo done, the photographers are always telling you to do shit. And, you know, after a while you're like, yeah, whatever. So he goes, why don't you cop your glasses? Like, I was like, what, like Captain Manoring? What does that mean? Like that?

Oh, to make them a big crooky. Yeah, I went, yeah, all right, sure. And you were in the room. So anyway, we're having these photos taken. And then afterwards, I'm just stood there and you went, you got to regret that photo for the rest of your career. Oh, my. Did I?

Oh no. And he was like, ha ha ha. But your point was like, don't let them do, like just do, don't let them, don't let them, don't let them tell you what to do. Yeah. But it's the thing is, when I did it, yes, last year, it was like, it's like seven in the morning and it's like you haven't been up that early for a month. And you've got people asking you all these questions and getting you to do that with

your glasses. Do these photos. And also you've got a pose with the trophy, isn't it? Like, you've won it? Yeah, that's bad. Yes. Yeah. And then you, yeah.

And then you're like, you never get the photos. And then I remember the, I think it was a Scotsman interviewing me. It was 7.30 in the morning. And they're like that in your face. What's your favorite bit of your show? And you're like, and I was like, I've got a joke about eating my twin. And then everyone just looked horrified. And obviously I wouldn't have said that.

That's not my favorite joke. But I just felt really under the, I couldn't, I hadn't slept very long. Well, there's better jokes than that. I know. That's one of the best concepts in a comedy show I've ever heard. They look horrified. I've got to say, I'm completely chubbed. my philosophy on photo shoots now.

I just do exactly what they tell me and don't even question it. It's the same way I do not, I'm not one of those people who tries to beat the green man when I'm crossing the road. I always think, let technology do the fucking thinking for me. I'll just stand you thinking about other stuff and then when I hear the beep, I'll go. Why do I want to be calculating where the traffic is?

Take it easy. When I do a photo shoot now, it's like a post-mortem. I just move wherever I need to be moved for them to get, you know, the right information. It's true. And relax. So would you say you've had, have you done the whole thing, Kate? You haven't you from the beginning this year?

Yeah, I've been here the whole month. Yeah, yeah. Has it been wonderful? It's been great. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I know the fringe much better now, so I know what I need to get through it. But this is the first year I've started swimming every day. Oh.

I've joined a leisure centre. I'm amazed when people do. do what I would call on the road projects. But it's my ninth fringe and it's the first time I've done that. And I was like, well, that's actually really helped. And you've actually kept that up? Yeah, because it helps. I live next door to the leisure center.

Oh, yeah, that would be good. If it was a bus ride away, I wouldn't have taken up that. Yeah. I live next door to a cinema. You've been going to the cinema. You've been going to the cinema a bit. A lot of people do that. I realized if I live next door to an abattoir, I'd probably go in and do some

slaughtery. Yeah. It's just if someone's really a. Jason, it's such a drawer even if you know. I don't, you know, I only really watch films with aliens in, but I went, I've been to see some, you know, films. What were you saying? I saw The Odyssey.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I saw the new Green Day movie. Yeah, no aliens in either. Green Day, the band? Yeah, they don't, there's a movie that's not, it's about a band who are inspired. by them. It's a drama, comedy drama rather than it's not like a documentary thing. But I love

Green Day. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free. from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. Your playlist might get you through the workday, but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs? What work helped them build a life? How did they adapt as the world around them changed? With ancestry, you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs

in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search, free until August 31st. Visit Ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. Do you, how much do you swim in? I don't, I only go for about half now. There's a sauna and a steam room there as well. Oh, there we go. There we go. But it's, you know, I go in and then, and then I'm like, oh, this is nice. And then there's like, then a lot of men just come in. And then I'm in there and it starts to smell. And I'm like, oh, gosh. You know what? They're drawn in by the mother energy. Yeah. No. They probably want to be sockled. you I'd get out of there fast.

I do. You know what? They can smell tween on your breath. Is this pre or post show? Is this to chill? Pre-show, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm coming down at sort of half-ten. We've got something in common.

Yeah? Both in our audience yesterday, we both had Sue Perkins. I love Sue. Are you joking? Oh, yeah. No. Did you not know if she'd been in? Is that true?

Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. Wow. I do a joke about her. Do you? Yeah. Kind or unkind?

Anyway. Is that true? Yeah, I think so. How'd you know that? I can't remember who said it. Someone in the courtyard yesterday. Because she was still raging about your joke when she arrived at Knazsche. Oh, no.

Did you enjoy? Yeah. Oh, really? She's good crack, though. She's, if whatever you did. I say it's a compliment that she gets the brand recognition. Yeah. As in the laugh is big.

Right. Oh, God. John, I wouldn't have said anything if you'd... I wouldn't have not said it if they're, you know, you've got to say, if someone's in, you've got to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Floored him. You have flawed me, yeah.

Whatever, I'll stand by it. Stand by it. You know, there are worse people you cannot say it. Gangland leaders. Yeah. Matthew Kelly. Yeah, I really upset. Michael Barrymore.

You ever seen that? I upset Matthew Kelly. An interview that lasted 25 minutes of him being upset. But you know what? There was no physical retribution. That's what counts when you upset someone. It's a great bit of television. Oh, I need to see that.

If you imagine, if you imagine awkwardness, awkwardness was set. You know, when people do those reductions in cooking and they get something, they keep cooking it till it gets more and more dead. Yeah. That's what it's, if you did that with awkwardness, you would get that interview. Okay. I'm going to watch that as soon as I leave. Oh, just the thought of it.

It's one of these ones, it was super awkward. But the other half of my brain was thinking, this is fucking great. Well, it is interesting. It's, he called, Matthew Kelly calls him out on his chat show for a joke that he made. Right. And then Matthew Kelly says, would you say it in my face? And it's that atmosphere. Right.

And to be fair, to frankly does. And then he says... Which I think is incredible. And then he says, it didn't get many laughs, did it? I said, no, it does change the dynamic of it if you're here. Yeah, great. Which I thought was a fair comedy point. It's super.

It is. But I thought the key of that thing was... Because I'd said something, he'd been accused of, or it was suggestion of some sort of paedophile thing, which I have to establish he was not found to be guilty of in any way. But at the time, it was, you know, there was rumours around, which again were unfounded. Have I done enough now?

Anyway, I said, but you'd do a joke about Michael Jackson, wouldn't you, of that nature? And he said, yeah, but I'm not on screen. And I said, but that's the difference between your branch of entertainment and mine, is the gap between on and off screen in yours is a massive cast. them, I said, you know, that mainstream people come over as so decent on stage and obviously most of them are monstrous, whereas in our thing, we're monstrous on and off. That's my view. I met him once because I did.

I liked him, don't get me wrong. I mean, he was, I think he was. He's very talented. He was courageous to pull me up, I thought, on it. Oh, yeah. And he's a big man as well. He is a big man. He sits there.

I met, yeah, I met him when Harry Hill. brought back stars in their eyes. And I worked on the show. And the idea was Matthew Kelly. There was a joke at the beginning of the series where there's a handover. Matthew Kelly gives it to Harry Hill. And he comes out of the...

It was like a... They did a sketch or something. You come out in the smoke, did they? Did he do that? Did he? I don't know. I think it might have been maybe like a dressing run thing where they're having a joke. But what was interesting was I don't think the show went well, where it didn't go well. I don't even remember.

I didn't know Harry Hill, I'd bought it back until you just mentioned it. This is like a decade ago. Okay. I was alive then. Yeah, you were. If anything, I was fresh. So, yeah. But yeah, what was interesting about it was, obviously Harry Hill was his version of that show.

And it was all sketches, gang. with the general public kind of, you know, making fun of a bloke saying, yeah, I work in, you know, toothpaste factory, but tonight Harry I'm going to be George Michael or something. And it didn't work because Harry Hill was basically taking the piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matthew Kelly, the genius of him on that show, was he cared. He put his arm around people.

Yeah. He went, you're going to be Tina Turner? Yeah, I'm going to be Tina. Well, when you did the show, They had formed a nest for Matthew Kelly backstage, which was all made of chiffon. Like a man cave. Yeah, but like pink chiffon fabric formed into a cove where he sat.

He called it Fruit Corner. And you would go in there and talk and have like, and then when you got in there, you could talk about, you know, the real world. You didn't have to be mainstream entertainment, but when you stepped out of there, you had to be, you know, a prime time. Did you go on that show?

Did you sing to me? I did it twice. Stars and Rise? Yeah. Who are you singing? I was Elvis Costello the first time. Wow. And the second time,

I was someone who no one in the studio had heard of called Johnny Ray, who was a 50s. singer who many people think began rock and roll because he was very very physical on stage. He also, he was deaf in one ear and he got a deaf aid that was three times bigger than the normal deaf aid because he was worried they wouldn't see it in the cheap seats because he thought it was a great sympathy thing and got him a lot of love. Did you win? No, I didn't win either time.

Who won? Boy George, I remember. Boy George! He was being David Bowie, but he wasn't really. He was just singing really beautifully as boy George, whereas I was really, Don't stop me talking.

I was really going for the Elvis Costello. The generation now, their equivalent of stars in their eyes, their smoke is the mask singer, is the head coming on. Yeah. That's our equivalent of the smoky doors. Yeah, but I like the impression, the impression thing.

I met a man who did a brilliant Tina Turner, and he was bitter, deeply bitter that they didn't allow men to play women. And he'd applied and he'd had the letter and he'd written back and protested. And I think he said he'd written, I think he honestly said he'd written to his MP about it. But you know what? They would let him do it in America. Kind words, butto-no, parsnips. It didn't get him on the show. That's a shame.

I don't know. Who would you do? I mean, obviously, yeah, if you had to go on it again. If I was walking out the smoke. Yeah. Do you know what, I would actually, I would give, well, I record I could do like a Guy Garvey. Oh, okay.

Elbow. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I have that build. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Would you be prepared to shave for the... No.

I've only shaved once in 15 years now. I know, but how many times have we been offered stars in their eyes in those 15 years? Yeah, zero. All exactly. George Michael could do the fade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the hair done. Yeah.

Who would you? Because you'd be great on there. I'd love to do something like that. Share, Celine or Kate Bush. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Or a trilogy. Medley.

Yeah. Do you believe? And then whatever Celine does. First person to do three things. In fact, the WhatsApp jingle could have been an outtake from you mean we're going. You know the film Amadeus? Yes.

You know when Mozart turns around there's the mask on the back of his head? Yeah, yeah. Be like that. Yeah, would you. You have Celine on the back, Cape Bush. Well, you can have the whole. half thing. You could have half a costume. I don't know if you remember the goodies. The goodies on top the pops. You know the goodies? They did a thing called the in-between us, strangely enough. And too old to be a

teenage idol, too young to be a mother's pet. This is before mother energy was really analyzed that deeply. So when they turned one way, they were in like sort of rock and roll outfit. The other decide they were a bit more old man in Cardigan type. The goodies? Yeah. You lived down the road from a goodie. Yeah, who died recently, Bill Ardy. I used to see him quite a bit about...

His funeral was yesterday. Is that right? And they did the thing on the heath. And everyone carrying his casket had badger heads on. Wow. You're sure Harry Hill hasn't died? Yeah, Harry Hill has taken over. of a Bill Hardy's funeral from Bill Ardick.

They were all walking on the heath. Wow. And there's these four blokes in paper mashay beaver heads. That's beaver now or... Oh, badger or beaver. Badger, sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

Beaver's slightly different, isn't it? That sounds like a pagan ritual. Yeah. Well, I used to... Yeah, because he lived near there. I walked past his house. I always knew his house because... Do you remember Cecil the lion?

Do you remember? Yeah, Cecil the lion is in the... In his front garden? Yeah. It was... Do you remember the dentist shot the lion? Do you remember this? I don't know.

I think he was in the drawing room. This was early Cludeau. Before they'd really got the characters and sorted. Yeah, this is an early prototype. The dentist's killing the lion. I mean, he killed a lion with a fucking candle sick. It's beyond me. But he had a little statue of a lion

and a little thing saying, remembering Cecil. I always remembered that was his house. Yeah. I never met Bill Oddy, but, you know, rest in peace. No, we talked a lot. Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah, every time I saw him.

I saw him. He went to, I think he got ill and then I didn't see him for ages. Oh, okay. But generally, I would see him at least twice a week and we'd stand and talk. Like, you know. Was it like a mad thing for you,

looking like a goodie? No. What I liked, I mean, his reputation is he was, you know, people would say he's a bit of a nightmare. I remember they had him on Bozcocks, I think, when Simon Amster was hosting it. And they did a very on kind montage at the end of him, I don't know, being a bit grumpy with music over it, which I thought was pretty merciless. But anyway, when I talked to him, we would talk about, like, comedy. and wildlife, you know, all that stuff.

And he was great. I really liked him. Yeah, and also like, when he died, I read his bictories and stuff, and the childhood he had and stuff. You're like, well, about my badges. He was hard to spot.

He had a really rough, like, yeah. He was hard to spark because he was always in, like, camo. He had, you know, those coats that have, you think, how many pockets has that got? He had those things. He looked like he was always about to go bird spot. or he'd just come back.

Because he was a big birds man, wasn't he amongst other natural history things? Well, again, that's how I, we're probably the same age. I didn't really know the goodies, but I knew he was the guy from Springwatch. And it's like these people that used to be comedians, and because of the age that you are,

you don't know that they did comedy, and then you have to go back. Growing up, this might sound crazy, but I thought Steve Martin was just an actor, like the movie guy and then you know my dad has a vinyl and then you know as you get older and you think oh he was the biggest

comedian in the world and quit famously when he saw an empty row is that right I didn't know that yeah that was it and that was it he quit when he saw an empty row good job he wasn't a priest wow

that's that's the massive It was a, it was a huge, you know, he was at stadiums and stuff. Can you imagine one incident that would make you quit comedy, just one thing like, I can't imagine what that would be. I mean, I've had some, I've had some debates with people in the audience who weren't enjoying the show. And I can't leave that alone. I have to go to those people and make the show about them and ruin my whole night.

And I've come back from them thinking, that's it. I'm not doing it. But last about an hour. Yeah. I think what's interesting is I'm sure it's the same. Like in the early, say that first five years when you're going, you have many incidents where you go, I should walk away from this. Yeah.

And you don't. Yeah, but then I'm close enough to real work to remember how terrible it is. So that keeps me going. But at this stage in my career, I might forget. And also, I don't think I'd have to go back to a factory now, but I would have had then. You had the Thatcher thing, the money. Didn't you have a bit of cash every month or every week while you did stand-up? No.

No? Really? What, like you're paid by the government? Like, in France they have this thing, where if you should prove you're trying, like. Actors have a kind of like state wage, but it's just like a bit of money. No, all the time I've been doing stand-up, I had a day job. Yeah. Oh, you did?

Yeah. I've still got a day job. Have you? Yeah, I'm a tour guide. Have you? Yeah. Wow. Where?

Do East London and Soho. I take Americans around and we do food. That sounds great. Do you know what? Obviously I want to be full time. But like I... What, as a tour guide? Yeah.

I only do comedy to support my career as a tour guide. Okay. It's just that Tarot keeps coming up as a microphone. Yeah. The comedy just plays too good. That's really interesting. Can I come on your tour? I'd love to take on a two.

food tour. So I do bricklay and do all the history of bricklay. See, I love, I love that about London. We go to six restaurants as well. I remember on my, one of my birthdays, me and my wife talked, walked to Bon Hill Fields, which was about three, four miles to see William Blake's grave. You walk all through the city and stuff, and it's great. I'd love someone who actually knew. Well, the Soho history is really interesting. All that Soho Square stuff and, you know Soho Square. It's underneath Soho Square, it's the largest World War II bunker in London. You know that little mock Tudor house in the middle? Oh yeah. You go down there and it's

like the own, it's underneath. And then you've got all the sort of amazing houses around there and stuff. Who was the guy? Oh, names escape me now. Young Frankenstein, the wandering eye. Marty Feldman. Yeah. He slept rough under that Tudor. Oh wow. That's what I always think of him.

Yeah, yeah. And there's that Charles the first statue. Yeah, by Collie Sibber, is it? Yeah. I think it's by Collie Sibber, the 18th poetry poet laureate who got ripped to pieces by Alexander Pope's poetry for being shit and Paul McCartney's office is there yeah yeah yeah and you've got um Casanova used to live on Greek Street Karl Marx used to live above Soho Theatre I mean there's some some of the plaques you can't quite believe those people with this like Jane Austen and stuff Voltaire there's a Voltaire plaque

and that happened baritalia baritalia yeah yeah that's where the television was first demonstrated. Oh yeah. In the window. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's still one in there. Yeah, they're in the window.

There is. Yeah. Yeah. The delight, imagine the delay on that. But do you know why they did it there? Because, well, you do probably. Yeah, so it's John Logie Bird, isn't it, who first demonstrated the TV. Yeah.

Why they did it like. He lived there or so? Is that where he did it as well? Yeah, but also it's like hundreds of people were like watching in the street to see it happen for the first time. But yeah, he lived there, yeah. Fantastic. Yeah.

And East London is obviously amazing as well. Because I live in West London, I never really get the chance to go over to East London. And so it's nice to kind of do that, really. I'm going to have to wind this up because we're going now for Ethananus. It's really interesting. Oh, should I finish with the gift? I brought you both.

Well, we've got another. What are you going to do the next podcast, aren't you? Oh, yeah. Why don't you do that? Ugh. Oh, okay. That is. Oh, I go swimming.

Now, that sounded like Mother Energy. I didn't wonder if this is gutted way of you're swimming. I'm usually asleep. Sorry. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going.

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at avalonuK.com. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer.

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