The Frank Skinner Show - Falling into a Void

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by Katie Norris. Frank’s been falling into a void, Em discusses Obscure Crushes, or what the kids call “hear me outs”, and Katie reveals her crush on Jeremy Clarkson. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Got an old slouch hat. Got a roll over my shoulder. I'm as free as a breeze and I do as I please. Just bombing around. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Katie Norris.

Follow the podcast. I've got spit in my mouth. Where did it come from? Follow the podcast on. on X and Insta... Have you got one of those... These are bibs? I've got a bib.

You've got one of those sockers there at the dentist. That's better. What about when they talk to you? Anyway, Cameron. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frankoff the Radio at Avalon UK.com.

WhatsApp. Oh, 7457474-17679. Leave a voice note. Trouble line. It's Frank off the radio. or gold every time laugh so strong they should be a crime

golden time I've tried to incorporate you know on the last one we talked about to do lists my son used to have at school a thing called golden time are you aware of this phenomenon

oh no what's golden time so they'd be doing their lessons and then they'd say right we're going to have golden time now and you have half an hour when you can just do whatever you like or do nothing Just put your head on the desk, go to sleep, stare, read a comic book.

I love God. Do you give yourself golden time ever? Well, I've tried incorporating it into my working day when I've just had up. But I'm too anxious about wasting time. Do you ever give yourself a nap in the middle of the day? No. Have you ever done it? Only when I've been falling over drunk.

Oh, fine. It's so depressing. So not a nap then? Not really a nap. No. more of a whirgh. Yeah.

No, I don't, I think maybe in the early days when we did a radio show together and had to get up. I remember you said to me once, it's like flying to Melbourne every weekend. That's what it felt. I was doing a radio show.

Well, it was six. It was early morning. It was the breakfast show, so we had to be in at seven. And it just... I would sometimes go home and go to bed then, yeah. Yeah. But I do feel like that's a terrible waste of sunlight.

Oh yeah, I feel tremendous shame, but it will happen. I sometimes feel quite ill after a nap. So do I. Speaking of tremendous shame, I did. Do you ever do corporate gigs, Katie? I have done a couple of corporate gigs, yeah, yeah, yeah. Un't? I did one in Hull. Oh, yeah.

And it was a Bond holder's breakfast. And they wanted a show and I did a series of show tunes. Yeah. We've been expecting you, Mr. Bond. But with a whole accent. Do you do Corporate Day? Yes, I do. I did one not long ago.

Can I mention who the company is or do you think it's not inappropriate? I don't give a fuck. That was my opener. Okay. It was for Apple. Okay. And it's you, my corporates are often dog related, as you can imagine.

And it was because they were creating a film about dogs for their Vision Pro. Can I say I recently read a sort of financial, this year's financial report. I think it was the 75, 35% of the year. Is that what they call it? The three-quarter financial report for Apple, Inc.

Oh yeah, the quarterlies. Yeah. This was the three-quarterly for 20. And so far they've earned. Do you want to have a guess? I don't know, but whatever it is, I'm going to call my agent. I'll tell you.

Yeah, because how much? I think I was under pay. It's 93. 5 billion. Oh. And what I... I'm glad I asked for a cab home. But what pissed me off about it is you know when you read or hear of something and think

oh there's a pawn in that and they didn't, no one got it. The idiots there didn't get it. And I thought shouldn't the headline have been Apple Turnover? That's so good. Frank they should have you writing these things. Gone gone and never called me mother. So you did a corporate this week. I did a corporate and I'll tell you what I've done, I've copied down what I wrote in my diary that night. All right, Samuel Pepys. This is, I've just three little snippets. First one, and these are not written as jokes. This is me to me written at 2 o'clock in the morning.

Felt as if the flesh was being ripped from my bones. No. Why, Frank? Second one, headed to door, thinking of retirement. Wow. I love these. Such a drama queen. These are actual quotes.

But it's for me. I didn't intend. But when I read it back, I thought, you know what? I'm going to read this out, fuck you. At one point, I had the sense I was falling into a void. But how exciting to feel that again after such a long and successful career. But hang on, can we just establish also? it's not like he had to do what we've both had to do, presumably,

where I've had to really immerse myself in that product. All he had to do was stand up. That's all I had to do. But stand up into a void. How long? Did you have to be up there for? Half an hour. When you said it was it, that's a long show, actually, I would say.

Believe me. Were they talking over you? Is that what was bad about it? There was some of that, some heckling, some people just walking about talking. They must have been excited when they saw you. I think a lot of them didn't know who I was. Really? What age group? A lot of them were drunk by it was quite late in the evening. Were they sort of 20s, 30s?

Some, but it went up to about 60. Oh, well then you had some fans. Oh, thank you very much. No, it was really. Was it grim? Was it brothers grim? Well, I mean, I wouldn't write, I felt if the flesh was being ripped from my bones after a good gig. No, it's true. No, it was horrible. It was just horrible.

Would you not do it again? Well, it's good to do a corporate now and again to remind yourself why you don't do corporates. Really? Yeah. Did they say anything to you afterwards? No, I got out there as fast as I could. It wasn't a place I wanted to stay for dancing after that.

Really? Wow. Oh, just talking about it and how I can feel it. But was it to do... I can feel the blood on my shoulders. I could ask you a question? Good, because I will. What aspect of it do you think bothers you the most?

The fact that you feel it's a bit like selling out to the man or is it because you genuinely just don't like the energy at those gears? No, I wouldn't have been bothered about selling out to the man if I'd stormed it. Got it. Because any audience where it goes well will do me. Yeah. Hear that, Nigel, when you're doing your bookings.

No, my job. I was thinking the reform. What do they call them? Convention. Yeah. What do they do? Labor party? Conference. Yeah. Conferences. Yeah.

No, so it wasn't. I bet reform do call it convention though because they don't get it right. They get the spelling's wrong and things. But I don't, I went, I didn't go to it highty-tighty at all. No. I thought, you know, I thought any good gig is a good gig. But half an hour is a long time to feel like your flesh is. It's a long time when it started to go wrong after 45 seconds.

How did it go wrong after 45 seconds? I just, I knew from the beginning, from when I walked on, the response before I'd said anything. I thought they don't want, they really don't want this. Were you the only act? No, I was followed by a singer who I can't remember now. Were they singing you're just too good to be true? No, they were more R&B.

Okay. Interesting. But I've that's so ungrateful. They're so lucky. You're lucky to get half an hour with Franks. No, not really. Yeah. But it's true.

No, but let's be honest. I know you can't say it, Frank. You regularly sell out. Yeah, but corporate world has always been a completely different world, you know. It doesn't feel... I have done corporate gigs that have been great. Yeah. But generally, I've done more like that.

I don't know what it is. It's like I don't belong... It's like they don't really respect the acts. Do they? They're not really there to what? You know when you watch strictly and you think this is a house of lies? Yeah.

Hell, it's turned into elf. You sit on a throne of lies. No, but don't you? You know when you think that people, they're not all smiley and happy like this all the time? When I did my first ever corporate was when I was doing sketch comedy

and I got paid to write a they wanted a sort of 15 minute mini show with songs and characters. And so me and my comedy writer, partner, Shanade, wrote this sort of piece for them. And we performed it for them before the event. And the woman in charge, we performed it. And then her face just dropped.

And then she went, nobody wants to hear about your pussy on 9 a.m. on a Monday morning. And then walked out, and we had to rewrite the whole thing. So I just did a series show tunes. So you had to do it for? I think she said pussy, she said bush.

Oh, dear. I think I had one joke which was like shepherd's bush, my bush. I mean, I live there or something terrible. We were younger. What about, it's all right on Gardner's. We were younger. It's all on Gardner's question time, but not okay for you. And actually, we kind of thought, I think everyone will want to hear about my bush on 9am on a Monday morning, actually.

I don't mind hearing about it. You do you, darling. I saw Sybil Shepherd. Oh, do you remember her, the actress. She was in moonlight. And she famously dated Elvis, didn't she? She did. She said she taught Elvis how to do oral sex.

Oh, Frank. Please don't pass on some of your ribble. She said it on stage. Keep that between you and your friends. She said it on stage. Stories you taught. What's it called? The jazz.

There's a pizza jazz place. The jazz cafe. No, but I's only got the word pizza in it as well. Pizza Express Jazz Club. There's pizza on the park. There's jazz cafe. There's all sorts. There's something like that's got jazz and pizza.

in it. The jazz pizza cafe. That sounds like jazz. But she was on there and she said, is there really a place in London called Shepherds Bush? Does she? And everybody went, ha-ha. And then she sang like the Great American Songbook.

Oh, yeah. She will do that. Always terrible. Okay, fine. So anyway, so the corporate, I don't think we'll be seeing you doing these corporates again. Well, who knows? Everyone's got their price.

That's the problem. I talked to someone just lately who said, oh, you do a podcast, don't you? And I said, yeah. He said, I'm making thousands every week. On podcasts? Yeah. And I thought, if I press the wrong fucking button, what?

Really? I think some, yeah. Well, apparently at Patreon, 50% of the subscribers to Patreon are women, 50% of men, and only 3% of the high earners on Patreon are women. What about the hyenas? Oh, Frank, don't be so silly. Oh, Frank.

Hey, don't steal my catarrows. Well, I don't know. You are allowed to say, oh, Frank, by the way. This time in unison. So what am I doing wrong? What do you mean? Get funnier, I'm going to put on my to-do list. What are you doing wrong?

What do you mean? People actually making thousands every week, or are they lying? I know someone making 17,000. pounds a month on their podcast. What? Well, I'm not going to, Frank. Frank, that's very hard to listen to. Stop it.

I'll stop. I'm not going to disclose my financials. Of course, you do a podcast. I know I do, but I, you know, between me and HMRC. Well, I never asked. It's doing all right, thank you very much. I'll tell you what I get for this. That's awesome.

That's awesome. I'm profoundly ashamed. Me too. Oh, well. Anyway, I don't know why we got into the No, it's interesting there, isn't it? Because, you know, they are the new way of making money for comedians. Really?

Yeah. But Frank, you know what's interesting? What the fuck's going on? Can I tell you how a lot of them make their money is not, you're absolutely right. It's not through the podcast. It's through the Patreon. Patreon. They make all their money saying, hi, guys.

You know, the people will, it's their subscribers. So it's the equivalent of buy me a coffee, isn't it? What do they pay? Five pounds a month? And if you've got 900 subscribers, paying five pounds a month. But don't they say Patreon is the last refuge of the scoundrel? Anyway, let's do some outside world.

Yes. There should have been saying it's moaning about my money. I mean, people out there got no money. In fact, most of the people are into this, I should think. It is all getting a bit my can of pay hell. It is. So, Vicky and Catherine have got in touch. Vicki and Catherine living on love.

Well, yes, they are, is it going? Because they describe themselves as the very tattooed lesbian. And assume you met at Edinburgh. Oh dear. I met so many tattooed lesbian. Does Cass know about this? It'll come back as me. Keep telling me.

No, there's a lovely photo of them. Oh, okay. In your standing, I'm not sure quite where it is, but they're hugging you. They look happy. You look happy. Good. Everybody's happy.

I always remember that frankism of loving it when TV people talk about shows. For example, an assistant answering the phone in the Loose Women Office saying, Hello, Loose. It was something Frank Ward's brilliantly pointed out. No, I had, it was fools and horses, and the director answered the phone, said, hello, fools.

Oh, that's so cool. Well, I do a radio show on Radio 4, which Katie did the other night. Yes, so are here. Brilliant, I hear. It's called one person found this helpful, which is a mouthful. Right.

And I haven't yet come up with which word I have to use. Katie, what do you think? Would it be person? Hello person. No, helpful. It doesn't really work. It's got to be helpful. I don't say one.

No, that could be one. That's the one show of stolen that. Or it could be like you'd found up a Spanish bloke. One. That's just going to confuse me. I don't think. I'm not sure it works. No.

But one person found is helpful. That's a long time. Could you have a hygnify? acronym. I don't think it's going to work. That's what they put on the emails, but I can't even... What do they have?

O.P. Oh, no. I would just say helpful. Yeah, or what have you got for me? Yeah, wouldn't really be that. Hello, talk to me. I hate that. What have you got for me?

What have you got for me? So my dad used to bring up the phone and say, did your parents ever answer the phone with the three digits? Because you'll be much younger. They're probably mine. Yeah, no. Yeah, 64-179.

Oh, I love that. Did yours? Frank? We didn't have a phone. Oh, I'll forget. All right. My dad used to walk her into the house and say, any phone calls, messages or excitements?

I love him. That's what I say to my agent. Never. Well, I do a hybrid of those anecdotes because my mom would say, get off the phone. My agent may be trying to call. And my dad would always say, but he never is. Oh, and he never was.

But that is the tradition, I suppose. But in those days, that was it. You had that one phone line, didn't you? But yeah. No other way of getting hold of you. And then you had one, the family computer. And what if you got apart in Sherlock Holmes or the bill? You would never find out.

Vicky and Catherine... Oh, you made me want to know if I did. I tried a joke on stage, which I was quite pleased with... Is this at the corporate of hell? No, no, I wouldn't have tried. anything there. I was doing stuff like from my past thinking, well, this always gets like, oh no. Oh no.

Oh, that's painful that one. Anyway, this joke was, I've been offered a part in casualty. You have. Yeah. And some people think, oh, you know, a little bit sniffy about casualty, but I don't get, I don't mind getting my hands clean. That was the joke, but nothing. I don't got nothing.

But thanks, Katie, for a snort. at least. Good, you're good. I bet you've been thanked for a snort before, you know what I'm saying? Don't drag it down. Okay.

Can I continue... It was a... It was a... It was a... Yeah, but they're still dragging it down. Is it okay? Vicky and Catherine, can I continue with...

Hello, Luce. Well, Vicky and Catherine, the reason that they remembered you saying this, Frank, is they were watching Will I Am being interviewed. Oh, yeah. And he referred to his time.

I love this, being in The Peel. Because he was in the black-eyed peas, obviously. Oh, yeah, of course. And I've just absolutely lost it. The idea of the peas from the very tattooed lesbians who you met it in Edinburgh. I like that. I don't know if you can really do that with bands. The black-eyed peas, when I was in the peas.

Yeah. It's like you earlier with Ed. How was Ed, Katie? Oh, you need, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. We should say the producer asked her if Katie was after over Ed. And I thought, oh, no, there's been some terrible ex.

She split up with Ed Gamble. Are you over Ed? But it was Edinburgh, which no one's ever called Ed, in my experience. Oh, Frank, you're so strict, honestly. But, I mean, it's all right to invent an abbreviation, I suppose. Well, in fairness, we do call her Sandy, and her name is Emily. I know, but we can't have two emily. So I keep saying that.

Confusing. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, he invent the rules. Yeah. So, have we heard from... Oh, sorry, was that the end of that thing? Yes, I'm sorry. I don't know quite what you were expecting.

Is there a picture of them? Jonathan's... Is there a picture of them together? Yes. Sandy will dig out that picture. We will show it to you soon. A shot of them in... If you just put in search, Ed.

Oh, you're so... Gross. So, we've also... And the bloat that won the comedy award. is now known as Mr Red. Do you know Mr. Red, Katie? Do you mean, well, this year? He had veneers before.

It was a talking horse. It was a weird show. Where was it, Frank? The 1950s. I think it was. And what was it? Was it all about a horse? It's about a talking horse. Simply that, there's your treatment. That's the pitch.

It's about a talking horse. Okay, we'll do it. Oh, yes, I remember these ladies. Do you remember Mickey and Catherine? Oh, that's such a lovely photo. They were jolly. Oh, we love them. We've heard from someone else.

Well, that's... I'm saying someone else because they don't appear to have left any indication of their name. I don't know whether they're ashamed to listen to us. Oh, God. Is it written in letters cut out of magazines? But there's at least, there's a handshake emoji. There's a smiley face emoji. It's very amazing.

emoji laden. It's okay. Do you remember we used to call them emoticons? And some people struggle to let that go. I'd forgot. Do you remember that? I do. Do you, Katie?

We used to call it emoticons. And then the shift happened. And it's tough on us middle age people, because we've got to go with it. But I like a motocon. It's nice because it's got more of a sort of sci-fi feel. Don't you think? I'm sending you an emoticon.

You imagine a fabulous. Also, I like it. because it's linked to emotion. It feels like there's a language sort of point to us. I do like it when you lose a lovely word for a more usable one. Like, I used to love it when audio books were called talking books. So did I. Yeah, you can still call it that, though.

And when vapes were called e-cigarettes. Electronic. Got my vape here next to me. Uh-oh. Oh, no. My e-cigarettes, sorry. Anyway, this lover of the emoji says, Hello Team, I felt the need to make you aware

that what you guys refer to as an OC, that's obscure crush. We talk a lot about obscure crush on this show because I had, can you remember who some of mine are, Frank? Vince Cable, the Liberal Democrat. Oh, shut up, Katie. Shadow Chat. Was he Shadow Channel? He was former leader, I think you'll find.

No, no, but he was. No, he was actually Shadow Chancellor. You're absolutely right. And Henry the 8th. Oh, no, I'm not sure. Oh, Vince Cable, it's like a shoe, thumb. Oh, Katie, it's so cruel. He looks like a turtle without a shell.

Don't be so horrible. He's a kind man. I like... Duke of Wellington was another one, Katie. Yeah, but only on the five-pound note. Well, I don't know. How many other shots of him have you seen? Mind your own beeswax.

I'm on OnlyFans. Have you done now? He's Duke of Wellington. Duke of Wellington Only fans page There's a lot of activity on that. Duke of Wellington and Google images, see him. If there's any other shots of him. It's almost like I like my men old, pale and male.

And dead? Yeah. And stale. That's my special thing. I've got a crush on, this is awful, Jeremy Clarkson. Oh, wow. Well, it's very funny you should say that, Katie. Because emoji fanatic continues.

Yeah. Obscure crush, you refer to it as an obscure crush. It's currently trending on social media under the new guys, and it's called a hear me out. So if I would put a picture of Vince Cable and just simply caption it, hear me out. Yeah. And everyone would know what I mean.

Because people are going to say, Vince Cable, and you're going to say, oh, hear me out. Hear me out. I get it. I get it. Google describes it as Google always ends up sounding like Jeremy Paxman. an internet slang used to express an unconventional, bizarre or humorous crush on a fictional character, monster or non-human figure. It's also, you know, Sue Pollard, you know, that is Katie.

She got interview. I saw an interview with her when she described me as would but shouldn't. Yeah, she did. And I thought, would but shouldn't for Sue Pollard. That's quite bad. What could be? twice. So you mean like a kind of fancying the fox in Robin Hood or something like that?

Loving that for you. Simba. Yes. In Lion King. Yes. And there's a lot of men who are very attracted to the Karamak bunny, aren't there? Oh, yes. I've heard of that one.

I used to like the tiger in Kung Fu Panda. That's one of the weirdest crushes you've ever had. She had a sensual movement. Yeah. I fancy the dad in Bluey as well. Yes. I get that. I love Bluey. Do you know what? I know this is tragic as a middle-aged woman.

I watch Bluey. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I watch Bluey with my niece and nephew. Yeah, I love it. Because so many people are watching, so many kids are watching Bluey now. Apparently, a lot of, my niece says, how are you going? Oh, because of me. The Australian. That happened with neighbours, of course, in the 80s.

Everyone's sort of saying, good day. Good day. Anyway. Yeah. I will let you know. well, there's an interesting thing at the end of this that I think will particularly appeal to Katie. Personally, the emoji fan continues,

I have several, but mine are all human. It feels cruel to refer to Jeremy Clarkson as a non-human figure. Long-time reader, second-time writer. So, this is me, the way. Imagine if we found out it was. First time was about your yellow leather Christmas hat, Frank.

Oh, yeah. So this person also I was a tongue twister. It was a bit. I was really stressed about saying it. You did it beautiful. Oh, lovely. So another clock, is this a thing?

I just find him revolting in a way that's like... He's got a very large face. But he's kind of, you know, he's just... But if you were kissing him, I mean... I don't think I'd kiss him. If you kissed him from one side of his face to the other, I think you'd have to move your chair. to cover the full distance.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's probably very bright, isn't he? Yes, I believe he is. I've met him. I have met him, yeah, but he was asking me questions. And he didn't like that.

Well, it was, who wants to be a millionaire? Oh, wow. Right. Did you do well on that? No, I did so badly. No, you did the first time, don't like. You and David the deal. I know, but when I did Clarkson, I did it so badly

that the researcher said to me, your car won't be here for a while. because we thought you'd be on longer. Because, but no, but let's celebrate the victories as well. When you and David did it, you won one of the most that had been won at that time by any celebrities. Oh, wow, okay. We won 250, though.

Which was amazing. And so, you know. Well, that was in the golden out of Tarrant. Yes. Britain's got Tarrant. When you could cough and then you'd know. Yeah, exactly. And then there was COVID, of course, ruined that stuff.

So anyway, clocks, you're not. alone which is nice to know. Great. There's another Clarkson fan out there. And who's yours? So hear me out. We can start.

Who's your hear me out? Is it the tiger from Kung Fu Pan? I think it's, well, or Velma from Scooby Do. I could see Velma from Scooby Do. But a lot of people go for Daphne. Do you ever like human beings, Frank? Yeah.

I like her. You like your wife? Oh, I know what I used to like? Do you remember there was a TV show called Rhoda? Valerie? No, but Valerie Harper. She had a sister in it called Brenda, who I really fancied.

And then Brenda went on to be the voice of Marge Simpson. That's it. Wow, and that turns you on, does it, that voice? I thought she was just... No, Frank! She was a lovely... Did you take our phone call last night? Lovely sort of quite plain, I suppose.

Jewish-American woman who won't really, really fancy. That's nice. Frank, you can't say play. Can't say playing anymore? I think she's dead now. Can you say dead? You can say dead. Okay. I think she's dead. Is that right? Does that sound right? Yeah, I think it's probably safe to say.

That's all right, Frank. People die. I know. Is it all right to still fancy them, though? When they're dead. Well, look at my roll call. No, or two, Henry the 8th. What about Duke of Wellington? Yeah. More recent than Henry the 8? What about Richard the 3rd?

Apparently he was... Do you know what? What? Careful. Careful. Why? He's not... I don't love his haircut.

Which is the third. Do you know, I have a problem with what I call medieval hair. And it's... Do you know what I mean? It was Lego hair, isn't it? It's the high fringe. I cannot bear it. Wasn't he quite Claudia Winchleman?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she even dresses like Montratus. With the sort of rough collars. Yeah, it's fair. It's that. It's quite fashionable, actually.

Richard the Third Sheik, that's what she goes for. Yeah. No, I never really, I never really... Well, my image of Richard the Third, I suppose, was mainly informed because my parents made me watch a lot of old films and Shakespeare, was Lawrence Olivier playing him in that. Do you remember that film production? Oh, God, yeah.

Yeah, it was quite famous. I mean, that's when people started saying that sort of a... Now is the winter of our discontent. That's right, though. I'd love to play Richard III. I mean, I probably won't ever get. Would you? I was in Rich the Thirds.

You was in it? Yeah. Where were you? I was, oh God, not his mom. Queen Elizabeth. I was Queen Elizabeth. Oh, okay. I can see you being quite good at it is that.

That was quite good, yeah. Well, the French queen. She was the mother of the two boys that get killed in the tower. Oh, no, okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's a great part in that. That's a shame. That's such a good part.

Oh, that was. That was a shame that was. It was. Terribly sad. There's no, I don't think he was never convicted. We talk about it. Do you like that I sound like an elderly nana talking about a neighbour getting divorced? That's a shame.

Speaking about the princes in the tower. That's a shame. It was never proven. Why are you turning to Richard the third apologists? And the moon is made of cheese. Honestly, Frank, you defend the weirdest people. There's a lot of the staircases in those towers have very treacherous. You defend the strangest people, Frank, sometimes.

Well, I just, you know, I think you need to. some bit more evidence. He's got a very over-committed sense of justice. I get it. I'm the person who released the doves outside of the Michael Jackson trial.

I released a dove for every charge he was found innocent of. He did it. God. Oh, God. My dad was a bit like that. Sometimes he could just be a bit like, oh, come on. Like when Winestein went to jail.

clearly guilty. My dad was like, well, I hope he did it. And you're just like, he obviously did it, dad. But he's like just living in a, under a rock. Yeah. Well, you know, that's why we got the justice system. Check these things out. Have you guys ever done jury duty? I have.

That's so fascinating. It was brilliant, but it was a long time ago. And I was a student. So I didn't really appreciate how incredible it was. Right. Okay. Yeah. I got asked to do it again. Do you remember this, Frank?

few years ago. It's a long time ago. They actually hanged. Oh, here we go. They hanged as a person. Here we go. Here we go. You find incredibly sexy, obviously.

Obviously, that was a bit of me. They weren't sexy enough. Hang them. When I did jury duty, Lord Walsingham was involved. I mean, we're going back in the day. And I tell you what. Actually, no, I was asked

recently when you won the plane with candy. That's what I said, I was on the plane. That's what happened last time. In case anyone's forgotten, last time Katie was on, I referred to being friends with Gandhi, and I think she thought I was friends with Mahatma Gandhi until I pointed out, Frank, did not.

It was a marvellous example of a multicultural society. Both underwear models. Did I point out he died? One deliberately. One by default. One slightly more inadvertently. But then I did have to point out to Katie that Gandhi died in 1948.

Yeah. There we go. He loved a roundcloth. Still missing. Yeah, he was very cubits. He liked us a little round of particles. He did that fashion statement. He loved those glasses.

He did. Anyway. So you did jury duty. I did jury duty. Was it an interesting case? I had three cases and it was highly unusual, I've been told. Which was, it was. I've travelled with you and you usually have at least three cases.

And the hat case It was a... You're not allowed to tell us, are you? No, I can tell you what court it was. It was a coroner's court, which is very unusual. They don't normally have a juror. Jurors in there. But this would have been about early 90s.

And they had... So it was sort of cause of death? Exactly that. Oh, okay. And we had to decide should this transfer to Crown Court? Is it, you know, whether the death was death by misadventure? Cause of Death was the cause fourth album. Oh, fine. Really?

Do you know the cause? Yeah, it makes very inappropriate jokes. I would run away with you. Oh, I love that. Can you come round to mine and just sing? Yeah, I'd love to. We did. It'd be like a corporate.

That's why he got to sing at corporates because that's why I love doing singing as part of my routines. Can you do corporates and offer the singing? Oh, I would always offer the singing. But they want the singing because then they can kind of talk. Yeah. I love having a song. when I know it's coming up

because you can think my jokes will fall flat but you can't you can't doubt you can't deny a girl can sing you can't take my voice from me but my jokes are subjective I know but what if you're singing and they're still talking

that's okay do you know what I am envious of Katie though oh I just am she young gorgeous no but I am envious of Katie because having a skill like that which is very portable I know you've got your jokes bang And Casey's got her jokes.

They are fragile. They're not fragile. They are there. But I think it's, when you've got a voice like that, it's undeniable, isn't it? It's not like all the rooms are bit split. Well, that's what I mean? Comedy is subjective, isn't it? If you saw someone they were really good at juggling, you wouldn't be like,

their shit, they're juggling. Do you know what I mean? Or like the violin or something. Yeah, I don't want to be juggling your pussy nine o'clock in the morning. You'd never say that. What are you doing? I was quoting back. Yeah, but you do it.

I don't. It's a call. I don't believe you. What were you thinking? It's a callback. I don't care. I don't want to get sucked in. Emily doesn't want to hear about your pussy at 308 on a Wednesday.

I don't know about anybody's pussy. But you can't really offend with juggling, is my point. You can. You'd find a way. Yeah. I juggled massive vibrators. You've done it again. That was just an example of people.

But just taking it back? into a tasteful area. That's what you need to incorporate into your corporates, I think, juggling. Yeah, I might as well have done. Yeah. It's a juggling convention. I can't do that either. Have you got any, have you ever had another sort of skill that,

you just don't you, in your, you have done songs? I have done any of ones. You've ever done anything else. Excuse me, you've had a few number ones. Yeah, that's awesome. Cheers. But I've only really done one comedy song, Because I said to you, I saw Katie's act and thought,

oh man, I should write more songs. It's really good when people are. It's good to be inspired by talent. I want to write a musical. Do you know what? Do you know what I really want to be in? O'Mary, have you seen that yet? Oh, I've heard the sound.

Should we go and see that, Frank? I think that's quite up our stras. It's been true. It's about Abraham Lincoln's wife. It's meant to be brilliant. And it's meant to be gags every second, isn't it? It's one of the, if not the best Western show, I think I've ever seen. Is it of the genre?

The modern genre, this is all very well, but what about Mother Christmas? Is it that genre? No, I think it's pure comedy, isn't it? Comedy play. Catherine Tate did it for a few weeks. And then who's taken over? Lolly had a focus in the moment. I love her.

And I watched it with Mason Alexander Park. But it transferred over from Broadway and it's in the West End now. And honestly, I'd see it again. I'd go, but I'm desperate to be in it. I've already said that to Avalon. I've got it on my vision board. Oh, I love that. That's a callback.

Thank you. Well, do you know that's funny because I've got the Duke of Wellington on my vision board. I know. It's not a musical about him. I've just stuck a fibre up there. But I know about it wasn't going to mention it on it.

Frank, I knew you were going to say that. My brother-in-law sent me a message. When we talked about the Duke of Wellington, I mentioned that his horse was called Copenhagen. Right. And at the end of the Battle of Waterloo, which Wellington won, Or as I call it

He'd been driving He'd been riding Sorry, his horse for 17 hours nonstop That would be sore And he got off it and he slapped it on the backside I said thank you And the horse did a massive kick And everyone said had it connected

It would have killed the Duke away Having survived Waterloo Death by Horse kick He could kill by his own horse kick Yeah I'm good for the horse I think I'm not into horse riding No

I fell off and I was 10 and I lost two teeth. Never got back on a horse again. That makes sense. And that's the... There'll be more from Katie Norris's equine tails. That's a bit of a cliffhanger. Well, I got very into it. Do you remember that, Frank?

I do. You were obsessed. I was obsessed. I got all the gear. And then a friend of mine said, oh, where are you doing your riding? And I said, oh, I'm doing it up near Barnet. And he said, oh, that's great. That's handy because there's a great spinal. injuries unit, I just stopped the road from that. So I never did it again. Well, people are so negative.

Oh, because I'll tell you who that was afterwards. I'm not hanging around. I never know whether we're recording anymore. I think we're about to stop recording. Oh, okay. Okay. Katie, it's always lovely to see you. It's been nice, yeah. Thank you. I hadn't met Katie Norris about two months ago and since then I've worked with her about six, seven times. It's very weak.

It feels like the flash has been. peeled off my bones. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Have you fallen into a void? I've fallen into a void. Taxi's already here. Oh.

No, it's been lovely getting to know you. And, you know, I'd heard of you. But, you heard of your work. Well, you probably did me in history. Yeah. I did you in history. You did everyone in history. How dare you?

I kept myself tidy. Yeah. You were nearer. Can I say by the before we go, I got a lovely letter from, do you remember Martin Cheek? I used to write. I do. And you know what he sent me?

What do I love and what do I use more than most human beings? He sent me coasters. Oh, how sweet. But he'd made and designed himself. Oh, that's nice. They're very lovely, I must say. Adorable. So thank you, thank you, Martin.

Love that. Putting the letter away. Yep. On Radio 4 Drama. I love that. Can I say the next episode of Frank Skinner's radio days is out on Wednesday. We're talking about dreams. Embarrassing and unusual ways we've injured ourselves and airports.

And airports? Yeah. It doesn't really work. No, I don't fancy that. Frank, you're meant to be promoting it. You've just ruined the whole thing. I've never really sorted out the PR concept. No.

You never have. You're meant to say, Everyone listen to it, this is great. Don't find you that one. It's so terrible. You ruin everything. I know. It's the Frank Skinner podcast.

A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.