The Frank Skinner Show - Floating Burns

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Ania Magliano joins us again this time. The team discuss legal wigs, arcade grabbers of yesteryear and ceremonial cacao. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here.

Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ, built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at OnePeloton.ca. It's Frank Off the Radio, featuring him and that posh ladyo, and the one with the French name from South Africa came, they're all here open brackets to rain, close brackets today. Hey, I'm a real human being, but I don't have a mind of my own.

This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Pierre Novelli and Anya Magliano is back. She's back, she's back, she's on the right track. As a matter of fact, she's back. Can't play him anymore. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast for her,

Frank Offter Radio at Avalonukk.com. And in WhatsApp world, I've pressed the button. It's playing. It's saying play, but nothing is happening. Our WhatsApp number is 0745. 47, 417-7-7-6-9. There you go.

Started badly. That could affect the whole show, I always think. I think it has. So getting a tiny stone in your shoe at the beginning of a walk and thinking it's only a tiny one, I'll coat with it. When you look back, you think that ruined the whole war. Yeah, you have no foot left.

No. Or responding in an argument, but you trip over your words. Oh, God, that's the worst. Yeah, we're the spoonerism. Well, well, you go, all right, you've lost. You've lost. Time to jump up. the canal it's over it's over for you you said flail instead of well or if you're very very close to an

actual fist fight and you feel a twitch going in your face and you think i might as well just give up now i've lost he's seen my weakness it's been a while anyway um so ania welcome back we forgot you called ania yeah just just ready because i always think of you as mags no oh yeah oh yeah care. But it's a good name, don't get me wrong. Yeah, don't forget about the ania. We're back to the two fake Italians. That's who we are. Novelli. Oh, right. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sort of nominally Italian. Yeah, not really deep down. I've got curly hair, though. Do you gesture enough? Do you think? Yeah. Okay. I haven't done it, and now I'm feeling very self-conscious. You're going to put your arms straight. Like when someone says walk normally and you walk like an astronaut. I don't go thumb-to-finger gesture. No.

But I think I go palms. On the curly hair front, I went to see witness for the prosecution. Oh, yeah? Are you familiar with that? Is that where you are in the jury? I was. There was a jury. Right. Which the audience, I think you pay extra to be in the jury.

And it's at County Hall, which is where Boris Johnson and Ken Livingstone and all that when there were mayors used to be I think and so it feels like a proper courtroom and it's a courtroom drama you don't really get courtroom dramas now do you know

I think since they've got rid of the death sentence they've lost a bit of jeopardy yeah inbuilt states with the death sentence yeah you know oh god it's going to get four and a half years and probably do about three of them this is really tense

anyway so there was a guy who I knew the reason I went he's a friend of mine her son was in he was one of his first acting roles so it's quite exciting to see him and he looked fantastic in he and he's a good looking guy anyway

but I mean he looked super good looking and I realised and I thought should I tell him this his look is one of those legal wigs oh I see what you mean yeah did you see Robert Jenrick speech at the Conservative Party conference when he yelled up

and he used a prop at the Conservative Party conference and he had a judge's wig and he held it up like a sort of vent act with making it saying activist things well this guy had got a, you know there's like a

smaller one of those wings he had one of those and I said to him after man that's your look that's your look should have a barrister's wig but you don't want to learn that's your look do you? Yeah, it's quite a big career change. You'd have to keep taking cases.

What could you just wear? I have to keep working. If I'm not at work, I look awful. Yeah, but he's an actor. It means he can only play barristers. Got to retrain. Or pirates, maybe. Big, some pirates have kind of big head and a Captain Hook.

Or colonial governors. No, but they don't have legal wigs. The legal wigs are a bit more swept to the side. Oh, are they? They're not quite the full judges. Oh, I see. Oh, I know the ones you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's more of a. tight perm. That wig. What's your look, Max? Have you worked that out? That's a horrible question to be asked. You had a good look on, or still currently as this is broadcast,

a good look on Taskmaster. Oh, yeah. Everyone gets very styled up for the, in the studio. You wear the same stuff every week, don't you? But in the studio. In the, like, tasks, yes. But then in the studio, it's a bit more glamorous.

It's glam time. Yeah. I think when I did it, and the first series, you had to wear the same in the studio that you wore on the film. Oh, really? That's a bit of insider goss. Yeah, I like a bit of consistent. It's like, Doctor Who. Doctor Who would, like, wear an outfit and he'd wear it, like, for five years.

Yeah. Do you think, Doctor Who must stick? Doctor, can I have a word, man? It's just pretty, I know it's bigger on the inside. It's not fucking big enough. It's big enough to have a washing machine. A laundry line Yeah, I don't know

My look, I generally get told that my look Is like fantastic Mr Fox Sort of Sylvania families Ortumnal Othumnal colours Oh, yeah But I was, yeah Obviously the dream is that no one has to ask you

Have you found your look? No, well I See, I thought I'd found my look In about I suppose early 25 century. I did. No, 98 it would be. We did a world cop song in 98. And when we did, me and, when I say me and David Bedele, and we did a series and I thought, I'm going to go for sideburns. Oh. And they really, I thought they're really suited me. How far down?

Well, it wasn't so much how far. It was, yeah. Down the front to the toes. The problem with them was not so much how far down they went. It's how far off. they went. They didn't quite reach my hair. What? You had your new sideburns? So there was a gap. Floating burns?

Yeah, exactly. No. Yeah. It was like a sort of field sideburns. And it just looked shit. It's supposed to be a peninsula of your hair, not an island. Exactly. Wow, that's so true.

Yeah. That's really profound. I always say that. But the bottom bit looked. you know, sturdy. Yeah. But then there was a gap. So when I did that series,

and there's plenty of photos me with sideburns, if you look closely, you'll see that the makeup woman just colored me in. Just colored in your skin? Yeah, she just collared me in to form a bridge between the sideburn and the hair. How big was the gap? Well, obviously, to me, it felt like...

It yawned like the castle of hell. It was like the Clifton suspension bridge to me. It was probably, I mean, like, a mill, a centimetre, 0.8 of a centimetre. Like a pencil. Eight mill. Okay. I'm going eight mill. But even so, it needed filling in.

And when it filled in, it did look, you know, made me look good, I thought. But there was probably a chance of it sweating off. Oh, well, I had that. See, I had to be. There was a period in my life. I was too drunk to shave safely. So I just grew a beard. So I didn't have one of the...

Pierre's beard is quite neatly... Oh, yeah. It's been groomed. Mine just exploded forth. You're a full cloud face. Yeah, I was very like Irish folk band. Yes. But again, the top part of it,

If my face just kept going down a bit, I could grow a big beard and sideburns. But the top part of it, like the moustache part and the top, I tell what it looked like, you know, when someone in a ply or something is wearing a false beard and then they get wet and it looks like it might be sliding off them. It was like that. It was like I was, only willpower was keeping it on. So the top of your beard, including the sideburns, is just a cent to me, off where it should be

at all. Look, and you haven't clipped a Lego man's hair on, exactly, hard enough to click, click into place. I haven't got the click. I know if I grew it, it'd just be white, so that, you know, I don't want to be growing a white beard this close to Christmas.

I don't want to be followed by local youths. Expecting gifts. With unreasonable expectations. Yeah. So, yeah, so it wasn't good for me. We were discussing before the show

We, Ania, you had an elaborate coffee order. Yeah, I had it. My coffee order was decaf, cappuccino with almond milk. And I was saying that last time I did this podcast, I had just given up caffeine. And you asked why. And I said, I don't know. Something to do, really. Yeah, because to me, caffeine is the one thing that holds my limbs together, I think.

I think if I didn't have caffeine, it would be like, midnight and I'd turn into a pumpkin, you know. Well, that's the thing, that's what I'm kind of... But that would be handy. If you can hold on to that for a couple of weeks. Yes. Oh, yeah, perfect. Then I get carved up.

Hmm. Could be quite fun. So I stopped drinking coffee, but I'm always doing every time... Because I didn't clock this about myself and then one of my friends said a mutual friend had said about me, oh, she's always doing shit like that. It's always scheming.

Yeah, doing the scheme. So, so, right, Well, actually, it was given up caffeine. Now I found out about a thing called ceremonial cacao. Hold on. I didn't know you had a stammer. Ceremonial cacao. Yeah.

So, like, in, I think, I guess maybe it's... Mayan? Yeah, I was just going to say foreign. Foreign, yeah, foreign chocolate. Or I'd stick with that. Sorry, yeah, foreign and broad. In another place. Something from abroad.

In the lands across the sea. Yeah, foreign is fine. Yeah, foreign lands. In abroad, they have, they have like raw, it's I guess it's like the raw cacao that hot chocolate and chocolate is made from. And they make these drinks where it's brewed with a bit of cinnamon, bit of salt. And you have them at part of like this, you can have them at like some yoga classes in East London nowadays.

And I tried it. And it's basically, and now I'm starting to have it for breakfast, and it's basically a way to have hot chocolate for breakfast. But is it sweetened at all? Because it should be really bitter. You can add a bit of sweetener, but I actually don't need to. Yeah, sorry to brag. Well.

It is an odd thing to have, hot chocolates very much, and I'm off to bed now with a hot chocolate, isn't it? It's difficult to start the day with a big old cup of Horlecks, lovely hot milk. I lived with some... Lots of energy. I live with some Algerian guys in Coventry, and they used to go to bed at about 9 o'clock in the morning

and then sleep in the day and then work at night. So they would be saying to me, God, it's so repetitive of British news programs. And they were watching like TVA, you know, breakfast television, last thing at night. so they were leisurely watching the whole show that you're supposed to watch while you've got a piece of toast in one hand and the car keys in the other.

They had a luxurious, deep dive into breakfast telly, which the hot chocolate would have gone well with. They say they've taught a dog to speak, but they don't investigate this properly at all. And then ten minutes later, it was on again. The weather again? I'm going to bed. I think the key part about my schemes,

I don't know if you can relate to this, but is like I set up a new scheme and then I try and find a way around my own scheme. So I have like a scheme. So one of them was I'm not going to eat sugar. I'm not going to eat anything sweet unless I've baked it in my own home to try and make it a bit healthier.

So then within two weeks I was like melting down chocolate bars and re-freezing them with added raisins. It's just like, who is this? Like, why am I just constantly? I'm in this cycle of my own making that I can't get out of. But I've done, I mean, I used to, my thing was that I had to be learning something at all times.

I had to be doing a course. And I did ice skating and salsa and horse riding and French and Alexander Technique. I was always doing, I bought a book. Years ago, I did one. One class on stretching. And all we did was stretch. Man, I loved it.

It's the best thing. I ate all exercise, but I really like stretching. Oh, God, about that. The idea, it's very Catholic, but if you really live in pain, it will ease with time. That's the message of a stretching class. Yeah, wow.

And I bought a book on stretching, and I thought, that's me now, stretching. I'm a stretch every day. Oh, you? And I'll be like some big loose robbery man around the place, you know. And I've never opened that fucking book. It's a bit of a stretch, to be honest. I'm sure it would change my life.

And I always, even though I'm an old man come back, I still think that I'll come up with that thing that will really be a life-changing, life-improving thing. But is this why, because I do these schemes as well. But then I've learned I can't I tried to give up caffeine I just had migraine level headaches for four days and it was asleep all the time after that and I thought I think I need caffeine in my life

I'm told if you get through because my manager used to have double espressoes all the time and he quit coffee and he had a blinding headache for two weeks and then it went away and he was all right so I think it's again again it's the Catholic thing

enjoy the pain but that's like the people who say or if you don't wash your hair for a month, it's not to clean itself. Yeah, that's what stings. At what cost? A, at what cost and B, what if I'm one of the people

where that's not true, then I'm just been a, you know, I'm a stinker for four weeks for no reason. I went to a tantric sex class. Did you? I'm so, I'm interested in the really weird ones. Well, you'd like it because it is ceremonial. Yeah.

Very ceremonial. The idea is you don't, not every time you're, if you're in a part, you know, a thing when you're having sex with someone, regularly. It's not every time

you get the flow of petals out and you... Yeah, the harp. We had to sit with this woman who I didn't really know and we made tea and we had to

gaze at each other's tea and try and transport our spirit into their tea and then they drank it. Okay. Yeah. That was it?

How long did they make? No, then we shook the shit out of them. No, no, no. No, no. No, we didn't. It was very, it was non-physical. There was flower, the idea is you have flower petals.

Oh. You hold each other at the side of the face and very gently. And said sometimes there's no need for like penetration or anything like that. It's such a powerful emotional feeling. Really? It's sort of better than, you know, actual physical. With someone that you don't really know? Well, this, it was, we were all practicing to take this home.

Do you know what I mean? That was the idea. Did you get like a sort of little suitcase gift bag thing of some petals and some teapot? There was now good. And I don't like to leave it anywhere without a goodie bag. One woman had the most enormous loud orgasm. In the class? In the class.

That was... From staring at some tea? Hashtag or... Yeah, I'm going to move my tea out of your guys' sight. She's just very thirsty. Yeah. I'm gasping for her cover doing. I think she had that yorke.

It's that yorke's your biscuit tea pushed her out of the edge. Now she was, I mean, really, I had the worst. Because I think people thought I'd also had one. But I was having a responding, giggling fit to her giant orgasm. Because I just couldn't believe. I mean, she was honestly going, Oh, oh, it's like, oh, this is what happens for other people. Do you think that in that world...

All I get is you have a little bit of sex and then... I like it. I like it. And then we sleep. Do you think in that world, in that type of class, that what she did was the equivalent of when someone accidentally farts in yoga, like, oh, you're supposed to do that at home? We know it's a side effect of what you're learning. I think...

It's a bit embarrassing. You let that one out. I think she made us all feel as if we'd failed in that class. Because she was having an amazing time. She had truly released herself into the experience. I guess if I went to a meditation class and then of the sort of 20 people in the class, one person was genuinely beginning to levitate. You go, wow, fuck, I'm not good at this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at him, showboating. Top of the class? I'd go to the class next door and get a hula hoop and come in and pass it around them to show. that there were no strings. And when I returned it, I'd be wearing him. A glitter. Glittering outfits.

Yeah, exactly. And doing a lot of hands, big hand. That is what meditation is missing. What? Rasmat. Touch of showbiz. Yeah, a touch of jazz hands. Razzle-dazzle.

I want to do salsa classes. How long did you do that for? I did that for, oh, that was one of my longer ones. That was probably three or four months of salsa. And I actually went, this is the worst, most embarrassing thing of all. Me and my girlfriend at the time who was also doing salsa. It was some 20 years, like Junior. We went to say, it was that Cuban band that had a big hit album.

It's something social club. Yes. Anyway, it's... Brenna Vista Social Club. Yeah, so we went to see Buena Vista Social Club and at the Albert Hall and we salsered in the aisle. Oh. There's no fool like an old fool.

That's what I've always thought. That sounds beautiful. No, it is, it wasn't beautiful. She was beautiful I was decrepit Oh it's one of these When you're like bed and say Come into the light

Oh no What do you think is behind these schemes I think I still think That there is a key I haven't turned Which would improve my life I saw It's quite a good sort of thing online, a meme online

where someone was saying they've always felt like there's this mysterious vitamin. They always think they're missing the vitamin. And one day they'll discover the vitamin they're missing. And everyone they know will say you don't have the vitamin. And every doctor will say you've been actually very brave coming this far without the vitamin.

Now that we know we can give it to you and then it'll be over. I'm literally waiting for a hormone test result to tell me that right now. The vitamin. What if the vitamin is in caffeine? Yeah. I've got shit in the post.

Literally at the moment. So we'll see how that turns out. We'll see who gets results first. I feel left out. I need to get some sort of test done. You need to post your sperm in a... Yes. To an enemy. Noids, TSB or something.

Into a cash point. I've still got an old English, a learn old English correspondence course that I haven't begun. They're not going to reply. I've been dead for a long time. They are. I thought they didn't recognise the stamp. The address was the Wattle and Dorb Village near the oak.

Exactly. Never came back. I tried to learn Korean for a bit and I got an app and the first thing it said was add the Korean keyboard to your phone. So I did that and I've never done anything else. So I just keep accidentally sending people messages because I keep switching and accidentally die. It's so accessible.

You keep sending people's terquillowness in Korea. Yeah. Have you seen the K-pop Demon Hunters? Yes. It's good, isn't it? I love Korean art, like South. Yeah. I love it.

I like North Korean military parades. The last one they had, they had the biggest missile. You know, when you go to my management company, when you sit in the foyer eating where there's originals at the bowl and what's, there are videos, the looping videos of all the acts at my management company, me, you, all of us. And when Max comes on, she's looking at Caterpillar Cakes. Is that what the video is that way?

And there's one super long one. Yeah. What is that one called? It's like three times longer than all the other Caterpillar cakes. But anyway, that's what the missile looked like in this, the latest North Korean military parade. Like a col in the Caterpillar. It had a face. It had white chocolate legs.

An angry white chocolate face pointing in America. It looked like it should have a face. If you'd put one of those faces on it, it would have looked perfect. But they don't do many jokes in the military parade context. I'd go like that, Colin the Caterpillar missile coming straight to my face. But I really like her North Korea military parade. And the people cheer. They wave their hands.

You know those inflated... I saw self-esteem last week. Oh, did you? And she had, you know, those billowing giants we talked about? years ago on the radio. You put air through them and they wade. She had some of those on stage. And the audience are like that

at the North Korean military press. They have to wave their hands. I think if you take your hands down, you'll never see them again. I think it's also a, yeah, don't shoot hands on the air as well as a cheering hand. If you take your hands down, they're going straight into a wood chipper.

I could be wrong. So you don't speak Korean. Well, I do, but it doesn't mean anything and it's mostly intense messages. I'm not going to ask you to do it just in case you say anything coarse. But are you scheme-based as well? I do little schemes, yeah. I tried the giving up caffeine, and I didn't get through the two weeks of headaches.

I just thought, what is life for if I'm doing this? Well, see, I give up something every Lent. Yeah? So the worst thing and the hardest thing I've ever given up for Lent, which is essentially 40 days or 40 nights and a little bit more. is tea. That was tortuous. All types, including like herbal?

No, well, I don't like herbal tea anyway. But yeah, I just, teas, I realised I'll never, ever give that up again. I need that. Oh, I love tea. I think caffeine is my tea. Of course, tea has also got caffeine in. Was that before or after the tantra?

Oh, that was post-tantra. Yeah. Well, you thought, maybe I should give this up. There's clearly something else in it. But the tantric sex is a bit like the stretchbook. I've never opened it again, metaphorically, as you might say. Yeah, I do schemes, yeah. I try and little health improvements and things.

My dream is to find a healthy food that I like so much that it replaces all the unhealthy food that I actually like. Can I say that, Mag, that's the worst tea-swallowing sound I've ever heard. It was good. I'm having a tantric orgasm. It was very, I always say, this about people who can make the swallowing sound that it was like gulp.wav

like a sound effect you'd use radio edits. Oh, I didn't even hear it myself. It was like a foley artist. Don't do it again. Or should I... It was like someone on the arches having a sip. Oh. I've tried to make that noise. You can't do it? I can't do it.

Oh my God, this is my silent sipper. I've tried to make that noise, but men just don't believe it's real. Anyway, look, I needed the money. I'm going to sip away. It's another one of your courses. Yeah, we haven't heard it's one of my coarsest. What about our readers, have they chipped in?

Oh, certainly. Andy from Preston has gotten touch. Hi, Frank Emily and Pierre. I was just listening to the episode where you spoke about the grabbers of yesteryear. Oh, yes. BBC 1971 to 1919. Are you on about the game?

Because we talked about Dr. Groper, the Dr. Groper trope. Yes. So I think Andy is referring to the arcade grabbers as opposed to the... You know these, Mags. Got it, yes. I won something on one the other day. What? What?

You're all just saying before no one had ever won anything that we knew. Yeah. What did you win? So I won... I was at the... Seaside. No, I was actually... I was at an event for Chicken Shop Day, which I sometimes write for.

And it was like an anniversary celebration. It's a kind of YouTube interview series that Amelia de Moldenberg does get like musicians on and interviews them in a chicken shop. Oh, okay. And she did an event and they had... What is a chicken shop? Like KFC?

Yeah, like all the non-KFC chicken shops are seed. Oh, okay. And so, and they had a grabber and you could... And it was, the whole event was actually for young creators, like young YouTube people. Sure. But the opening night, like other people were invited. and they had one of those gravie machines

and so I won a lapel mic Really? A working lapel mic? Because I guess the idea was to encourage creators but I think they didn't anticipate someone really playing it on the night when all the adults were there because it's meant to be for the sort of children

who don't have good enough access to lapel mic. I just took a lapel mic. All the prizes themed around being an independent YouTuber or a podcast? Yeah. Really? Yeah, one was like a ring light. Yeah.

Yeah. One was a last will and testament. A penit of colourful one with cartoons on it and hearts. You have to fill it in pink ink. But I want something on it

and it took about 20 tries. Yeah. Was it free? Yeah. Oh no. You had to put a token in it. How did you get your token? From a nearby man.

Free. Free. I'm going to keep tracing this back. It's still free at every day. Free. Did you have to, was the guy supposed to limit it or were you convincing him? Look, man. I was lapping the room and coming back and going again.

Nice. And you kept it. You didn't give it to the underprivileged YouTubers. No, it's currently with me. Okay. In case I need to start my own podcast or something. It's always good to lap the room for something like that or for food on a tray.

There was food as well, so I was lapping the food and that. You have to sort of walk back as if to go, oh, I'm back. This is the same part of the room of all that cheese, isn't it? That's strange. Well, I guess now that I'm here, I'll have another seven types of cheese in my big napkin that I still have in my hand.

That's weird, isn't it? I went to a cheese factory in Amsterdam and you just get one. cocktail stick and then you just circulate. Piece of cheese, piece of cheese,

piece of cheese, like one of those birds you see on the beach. It was good. Every piece of cheese I'd say was like probably four millimetres square

and me and my child at a noff cheese that we didn't need lunch. Wow. We just, the total, it would have been like the size of a football

what we're at. It was great. What are you have for lunch? cheese. What about hundreds of fragments of cheese? Cheese smithereens for lunch. Well, Andy from Preston says, regarding the grabbers of yesteryear

that contained cigarettes, it reminded me of my family holidays to Pontins in the 70s when we arrived at the camp. Book early. Yeah? That was their Fred Ponting. You know, sometimes you get adverts on the telly

where it's the actual owner of the company, not an actor, some mad ego. who thinks I'm going to be on and it was Fred Ponting literally and he would come on give a thumbs up and say book early that was his that was his great moment

we've missed we missed that's not around as much anymore you don't get Alan Centre Parks coming on no Victor Cuyaham of course was the famous one who said I like this razor so much I bought the company oh that's a good advert yeah like George

George the boxer George Foreman Yeah, the grill. Yeah. So good, I put my name on it. Yeah, I don't know. He didn't own the company, though.

He told me he got a dollar for every grill sold. That's pretty good. He told you that? Yeah, I interviewed George. The fat rains out of the meat and into the tray under the grill. I remember that from watching too much TV as a child. Well, I still use a George Foreman. Yeah.

A crilling machine on a regular basis. To give him a pound? Well, he's no longer with us, sadly. And it was a dollar. In Memorium, a plain chicken breast. What a great way to be remembered. I was a toastie. When we arrived at Pontons, all the kids were split into two teams,

and the team names were either Hamlet or Castella. Oh, after the cigars. The brand of cigars. So all the kids' teams, different cigar brands. They must have paid for them. I don't know if anyone paid for anything then. What do you think the cigar companies paid for that? Maybe.

Otherwise, why would they ever be like, well, you know what kids love? The smooth taste of cigars. But if you see that old black and white footage of families at pontins or bottlings, they're all smoking. The kids, everyone is smoking. Oh, so maybe there's just the reference point they all had. The main thing in life is to smoke. Smoking was married. It was so popular.

I can't tell you, it was big. It's South Africa, even until recently, still probably 1960s, UK levels of smoking. Yeah. Yeah, just everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a different world. So for the whole week,

we competed in a variety of games for our team while all the kids cheered a chorus of either Hamlet, Hamlet, or Castella, Castella. I can't remember if my team won, but to this day, even though I'm a non-smoker, I do enjoy a cigar, A glass of wine is a holiday treat.

So I guess the tobacco company's early indoctrination... I love those people who say, I'll have a glass of wine. Oh, God, I won't like my own drinking his drink. I'll have a glass of wine and I'll keep having a glass of wine until I'm lying on a traffic roundabout covered in my own urine. I'll have a cigar as well, if you like. I don't mind. As long as I don't wake up with it lit.

As long as I don't wake up at home and well, I'll do it. That's true. From what you've said, you would drink until you essentially went missing. Yeah, exactly. I bet I lost if I totaled it all over a year of memory. Wow. That is, Matt. Probably for the best.

And you had that. And what did you find in your waistcoat pocket? You woke up and went into the... A slog. A slug? Well, me, at my mate, we'd slept by the side of the railway line. Sure. You thought it was a cigar?

So I got into, I was just looking for change to try and give them the right money in the pub when I went in and put my thumb in my pocket. And yeah, there was a slog in it. It's like that, was it sledgehammer, that video? Who's the guy from, who's the lead singer with Genesis? Oh, Phil Collins. Yeah, no, not Phil Collins, before him. The sort of clever one who dressed as flowers. Oh.

Peter Gabriel. Yeah. There's a video of him when he's sort of underground and all these insects are living in him. It was like that. Like, I'm a celeb. Yeah. That's a reference for Genzi, so that we know what's going on.

Okay, thank you. Thank you very much. A 30-year reference for Genzi. I'm just kind of saying anything's Gen Z in this context. I think I'll get away with it. What, we're into alpha now, aren't we? Yeah, under 21 is alpha. Alpha, alpha, gen.

No. Oh, God. Is it under 21? I thought it was like under 12 or something. They must be beta. Surely? Yeah, it'll go that way. I don't know if beta's arrived.

It'll go the way of the alphabet. Oh, it'll go the way of the Greek alphabet. I don't know if beta has arrived yet. I think they used one to get me out the dressing room. That was a gross. Anyway, listen, the next episode of Frank Skinner's radio days is out on Wednesday. We're still in 2010. You should have listened to it, Max, for the historical reasons.

This time, I have a moral dilemma about a train journey. No idea what that is. So, Mags, it's always great to have you on. Thank you so much. Thank you. And you're always at top of our replacement list. It means the world. Thank you for having me.

And we'll be back soon. Bye. Not me. Not me, though. Not without you. It's Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know?

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.