The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Compares Himself To The Kardashians

Episode Date: March 13, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Milo Edwards! This time Frank has insurance drama, Milo and Emily have been charity mugged and Frank has made a terrible error about Clifford the Big Red Dog. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You might be tempted to let Taco Bell's new Lux value menu go to your head. Because 10 indulgences for $5 or less makes you feel fancy. Like you might think you need cloth napkins. Well, you don't. Just use the ones that come in the bag. Don't let the Lux go to your head. It's Frank Lott, the Radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know?

Taking a trip up to Apoghavani, hoping the weather is fine. If you should see a red dog running free, then you know he's mine. This is Frank off the radio. Red Dog, you say. Microwived? Clifford? Yeah.

Clifford, the big... Can't miss him. Now, this is Frank off the radio. Who was the one who symbolised periods? Which character was that? Was that Clifford? Clifford the dog? He didn't have period. No, there was one who...

He was a symbolic representation of periods. It sounds like one of those rants, one of those mad anti-trans people would go on on Twitter. Clifford the Big Red Dog. did not have periods. Let me. Let him. Let him do his housekeeping.

Come into this bit first. Yeah, do your housekeeping. I need to explain this. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Milo Edwards. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Offeradio at Avalon UK.com.

And in the WhatsApp world. What's up us now? Don't be slow. Tremendous. Now that is. is either a WhatsApp that was done by a bloke called Martin New, or it's a bloke called Martin. Martin has done a new WhatsApp.

I don't know what the... I think it'll be new. Yeah. Anyway, so it was Martin. We know that for sure. Martin with a Y. May we return to Clifford the Dog with the Period? I might be getting mixed up,

but there is a film with a... I tell you what a... A girl gets angry and becomes a red, frightening monster. Really? Oh, is that the Stephen King one? No, no, it's nothing like that. It's like a children, family feeling. The children's film.

So where did the periods come into it? Because you realise eventually the reason she's becoming a monster is because she's like 12, 13. And it's a way of explaining to young girls that this is going to happen. It's a way of explaining them. Oh, like... Women become more. monstrous demons once a month.

I think it was trying to explain PMT in an animated form. Oh, is it? Have I made this film up? Well, there's a film called Are You There God, it's Me Margaret, by Judy Bloom, but it doesn't sound like that. I don't think it's, no, it's not that long. I'd never watch a film, the title was that long, because

when I looked on my sky listing, it said I have dot, dot, dot, and I always think, oh, fuck it. Do you not like that? You can't make it short enough, I'm not watching it. Not even with God in the title, to lure you in? Ah, no, I've got my own. Got my Angarde stuff to be getting on with. There is a Stephen King one though that is a sort of...

Harry. Yeah, because it starts off with like some kind of period-related trauma and that's what makes her start killing people or something like that. I don't think it's quite that simple. But she has sort of... Well, the people are bullying her about periods, I think that's what it is. I think you're right. Yeah.

And they throw the blood on her at the end. Remember in there? Is it Mia Farrow? No, it's Sissy Spaswick. It's a very fine line, isn't it? me a pharaoh, but delicate American people who look like they grew up on a farm. Yes. Very sort of delicate bone structure.

Well, like Clifford the Big Red Dog. Clifford the Big Red Dog, I've completely wronged. I've had him written down as a period symbol. Can we just establish? Was Clifford the Big Red Dog? Was he your character? He's got, who's the Jack Whitehall, isn't he, in Clifford the Big Red Dog? Oh, is that?

Which means his dad will definitely be in it as well. Oh, yeah, soon. Clifford's a normal-sized dad. Frank, that will be you and Boz soon. No, I'm not going down that route. What do you know? I don't like that. No, none of my family or girlfriends

ever wanted to come to work with me when I worked in a fucking factory. So why should I take them now? You should have a soil floor put in in the studio. Yeah, exactly. Well remembered, Milo. By the way, Milo Edwards. so-called.

Yes. I am so. I am. I am. I am. I'm sorry. As they call him in the chattering classes. He doesn't have it.

He's fine. No, well, I don't know. That's not my business. But my wife, my wife, said to me, I listen to the podcast. I always think, if she says I listen to it, that means it's not the L word I was hoping for.

Oh, dear. And she said, yeah, Milo, did a really good joke and no one even heard you. What was it? Any idea where it was, Myler? I don't know. There were a couple of tense moments.

He's full of them. It was when we talked about the, there was a chimpanzee. Was it Punch the Monkey? I think it was either Punch the Monkey or my own personal thing, but it might have been punched the monkey. My own personal thing.

You know my own personal experience. My own personal monkey. But it might have been punched. Let's say it was Ponty. A monkey. And then after you talked about your dog and you said, what kind of dog is it? And you said, it's a Shih Tzu. And Milo said, I wasn't that where that monkey lived.

Very good. Now, see, I didn't hear that. I didn't either. It's very clever. We are quite self-obsessed, that's why. I'm doing a parallel podcast for the eager-eared listener. I'm just slipping stuff in under the radar, Easter eggs. I'm glad Katz picked up on that, though.

Yeah. It didn't quote any of your mind. line. Thank you, Cass. Yeah. I just thought, you know, credit where credits due. Yeah. As you lot saying, the business world.

Oh, are you in this business? Might be the longest payoff on a joke I've ever had, but I'll take it. Yeah, well, exactly. Oh, some of the stuff I do live, they don't get till the next morning. But it's no fucking good to me. Frank thinks, because we open bank statements, we're like Theo Paphetus or something. We're not business people, really, Fang. The phrase corporate law was used in a conversation before.

I'm Deborah Meaden at most, I would say. Oh, Tuka all the way. Frank, we were talking. Can I ask you something? I'd like to continue conversations on air so the listener can hear sometimes. I asked you about your car. I appreciate that doesn't really separate me. Oh, yeah. You said to me, how often do I change my car?

Yeah. Well, let me give you a par example, as I think our friends on the continent say. Oh, yes. I bought a car four years ago when my son was nine. Okay. And I let him choose it. We went to the shower room and I said, what do you think? So there's this nine-year-old walking down.

He said, I like this one. I said, okay, we'll get it. So we got it. I would have been drunk with power if my father would let me do that nine. But someone said to me, why would you learn a nine-year-old? I said, well, because when he? 17, I'll give it in. Oh, yeah, I'd like that idea.

Yeah. But everyone I've said it to said, what, you're going to keep it? Eight years. Well, that's nothing, is it? That's a long time to keep a car. I mean, maybe not from new. I mean, my car's probably nine years old now.

But I haven't had it nine years. Mine is getting on for nine, I think, also. Do you know what I would say, Frank? Can I say mine wasn't new as such? what I did. You know one of those? Yeah, you buy a new one and, Coucher, what I've got to drive it off the car park? You've lost 10 grand.

That kind of thing people say. I went for a test drive. This is what happens when you let a nine-year-old choose your car. We went for a test drive in this car. So we thought we'll have this one because I've been in this one. I know it works. So we bought the one that they used for the test drives. Did you?

You got some money off. That's good. I think I got, yeah, well, I was doing it, you know, I'm going to all the details, but it wasn't. fucking cheap, let's put it that way. You know, us as business people love that. But I I'll give you my ledger book. Send this in Excel

spreadsheet. What I would say is, yeah, I genuinely think when I see people driving like upgrading their car constantly I really lose respect for them. It's a waste of money. It's a waste of money but also it's like what so strangers will think you're rich.

Because that's the only people that really care. I don't know. Some people really care about their car don't they? Do they? Oh yeah. I mean, if I really cared about my car, my life would be a fucking nightmare. My car is stolen and robbed.

I don't think I could be friends with somebody who really cared about that car. I really like cars, but I think there's a difference in people who like, no, no, no, but hey, hear me out. No, too late. Too late, mate.

Still? Milo, I've got to be honest. I'm frank on this. No, no. I'm with him. No, that's been very helpful in my decision-making process. There's a difference, I think, between people who like cars, quar cars, and people who like cars as a sort of flash object.

I would agree with that. Like a gaudy watch or whatever. So like Jonathan Ross, I love it, will have some weird and wonderful... What about a very gaudy one? Machine from the... Jonathan Ross will have like the magnificent men in their flying machines. Anyone out there? I like that.

I like... Do you know what I mean? He's a quirky car collector. He's a quirky collector. I would never buy a new... car. I can't envision a situation in which I would buy a new car. Someone who says come over, I've got the new Range Rover. I mean, I sort of rule that Range Rover.

I'd say what was a good laugh once. In case they sponsored us. I went on, sorry? Unless they sponsor us, Rangerover. Then I would change my mind. Oh yeah. They weren't sponsor us. Why not?

We've just said we hate cars. I don't know. I think I'm associated with cars getting stolen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of become my light motif. Yeah, and that is an image Ranger Rover and desperately trying to get away. No, exactly. Is it stolen frequently then?

I think they're the most stolen car. No, they're the second. What's the most? I drive a Lexus and we've just overtaken. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Chats out to our sponsor this week, Lexus. They were like Arsenal.

They were coasting at the top of the stolen car thing. And then, you know, we went on a bit of a run. I think I like to think I was a major contributor. Well, it's been in every newspaper. The story of Frank Skinner's stone. I'll tell you. What about this then? I had a call from my insurance company.

You like this kind of talk. Oh, God, Frank. Literally, just because we occasionally speak to our accountant. Actually, like with Theo Phafeetis. Get the accountants on next week. My car insurance last year was two grand. Okay. It's quite a lot.

Yeah, it is quite a lot. Not more than mine. I'm an old lady, though. I met the mistake of saying when they asked me what I did for a living, way back when I first got, I said, you know, I'm a comedian. See, you're supposed to lie. They said to me, and we associate that with a late-night drive-in, drink and drugs. Oh.

I mean, I haven't had a drink since September the 24th, 1986. Did you tell them that? They don't know. They don't fucking believe that. They said, the other problem is, we don't know, because you're a celebrity, we don't know who you might have on board. Did you say I don't have that many friends? They said, imagine you did a show with Terry Wogan and then offered him a lift home.

Well, he's dead, isn't he? I wouldn't stop frank. Can I say, it wasn't my fault. They pulled out right in front of it. I told him to put the fucking belt on. Oh, dear, oh dear. Ah, well, here comes a major car. So what happened in the end?

They just... Hold on. When would I ever do a show in such fancy a lift home, Terry? I don't imagine for a second you've got a fucking limousine waiting with the show. It's the sort of thing I'd do. Is it? Yeah, give Terry Wogan a lift-out. I mean, were he still with us?

Yeah. I'd say it was a very nice, but he was very good to me and a very nice man. Who was Terry? Yeah, very nice. I imagine he was. Anyway. Never asked for a lift. Frank, can I just say, I've occasionally given contributors

interviewees a lift home after the walking the dog podcast. Have you? Actually, I shouldn't say that in case my insurance comes from. who's listening. Damn. If you injured Dom Jolly, we cannot afford. Molly King from the Saturdays. Stuart Broad would have something to say, her partner, if anything terrible happened, I'm sure.

So, yeah, I do do it occasion. I mean, I think we all give people a lift back to, I don't. No, you don't really. No, fuck people. Anyway. That's so horrible. I know. It's a really awful.

So I've had to shop around. I say I. When I say I mean my PA. But you know. I haven't given it to us about having an accountant. If we forgot about the PA. That came up last week. Well, this is what people want to fucking hear about, right? Why do you think they're looking at the Kardashians eight hours a day?

Exactly. You should get the arse surgery. I think you could enter a new era. I've had it. I got mixed up and had it on my face. Milo, Frank has just compared himself to the Kardashians. I want to sit with you for a while because he's got to PA. You like the Kardashians, do you, Milo?

I know. Can I give you a hand-on heart compliment, Frank? I think you're much more interesting and talented than literally any of the Kardashians. Okay, but if you had to shag me or Kim. Oh, Frank, don't say that. Well, it's a fact, isn't it? It's a fact. We can all talk high-falutin about it.

But when push comes to shop... It depends who'd put up my insurance more. It's very tacky that's not. She did say a great, I must admit, I have a soft spot for Kim Coddach. I've never watched the program, but she said a thing that I really liked. What is that? I really liked. Go on.

She got condemned for, she had a picture with a baby, and she cropped the baby out and just had her. Oh, yeah. And they said this. is absolutely terrible to crop the baby out and she said, look, he had his eyes shot and I was swearing my best look and then she said, can I live?

Which I really loved. I thought, great. A, she's actually told the truth and B, can I live? Can I live? It's great. I won't let you do anything these days. Oh, anyway, I've got to have a black box in my car. Oh, God.

Why, what are you a pilot? You can't be agreeing to that. Hang on, hang on. What does it do? If I have a black box in the car. It just records everything. If you crash in the Andes in mysterious circumstances. I haven't told you what their latest offer was from the insurance.

I said it was 2000 last year. Because I've had the car stolen twice and lost the parcel shelf. It's six grand. What? Are you thinking? But you're punishing me for what exactly? For having a car that was stolen? Frank, that's too much.

What the fuck have I done? What have I done? All right, all right, calm down. Let me live. Let me live. Yeah, that's what they've said. That is a lot of money, I won't know. What?

I know it is. You need to get that down. Yeah. And they said, what does a black box do to my PA? And she said, well, they said, I like to talk to them through a filter. It's a good job because I might have sworn on the phone. that if you accelerate suddenly or if you suddenly break, breaking bad, I think they call it.

It registers on your box and then if you claim for anything, they might say, well, no, you're a bit of a breaker. On the 14th of January, I noticed you broke very shortly. So if I hit anyone in my car on the next few, bear in mind, I'm a bit stuck really. I can't, if you step out, I can't just slam the brakes. I can't afford it. As Wogan found out.

Yeah. It's cheaper for us to die. But I mean... My last thought was, I understood. I mean, I had a crook on and all that. You know, I did, I try it. That's in the 70s. Do they still have those things?

I don't know. What difference is Breaking Hard going to make to my car be installed? Was that the sequel to Breaking Bad? I never watched it. That was the porn parody. It's the idea. It's the idea if I break hard, my parcel shelf will rattle and that will be like the mating call of the petty thief.

I'll hear that and come a running. What about I'm being, it's victim blaming is what it is. I know what you mean? It feels very unfair that you're suddenly under surveillance as a victim of crime. If I mind surveillance, that my insurance has trebled because I'm a victim man. Did you, did you? Can I live? Did you put this to them?

Maybe you need to get on the phone themselves. Maybe throw some celebrities. at it, Frank. Oh, God, have you ever? I bought two tickets from the Albert Hall yesterday online. Pust me, at 19 minutes it took me. Oh, yeah. Fanny in about.

Can you not get your PA to hold for you? She's on holiday. I can't do anything. You're lucky I made it here today. Can I ask a question? What aspects of your life do you personally handle? Because I see you as quite an independent person. Like you do a long...

Oh, no, no. No, I don't do anything. Okay. Fair enough. I only did that because she was on holiday and I didn't want the tickets to slip away. Per enough. The listener can't see this but Frank's only dressed on the top half.

But top cat. No, but in fairness, I would say he's quite independent. He gets the bus. He gets the tube on his own. I know, I do. So you're talking about your demented uncle. In a way. He doesn't need to go in a home.

He's quite independent. That's an element of that. No, but he's not brand. You know, some of these celebrities have to have a limo and things. He's happy on the beach. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't, you know, I'm still going to gigs and stuff. I might drop in to see Sam Supply out this weekend.

Who's that? Sam Supply. When I walk here, I pass a poster. You know those sort of photocopied posters for DJs you get on Lampost? I do know. And there's a guy called Sam Supplier, who's on every. I think I wouldn't call my. I don't think.

You're Dave dealers on next week. Not unless you've got a warehouse full of Sam's. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He might have. At Desjardin, our business is helping yours. We're here to support your business through every stage of growth, from your first pitch to your first acquisition.

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Actually, on the way here, I got charity mugged. I did too. What was their opening? Because they always come out with a charming line. What was yours? It was always about your... Nice jacket. I didn't get it.

And I was like, nice one, but I'm in a hurry. And then I had to really dodge him like Bulldog. He was like pursuing me. Yeah, he said to me, love your hair. Ah. And I said, thank you. Don't bullshit me. Thank you.

And he said, I said, I'm in a rush. I'm afraid I'm on my way somewhere. He said, I'll walk with you. Oh, no. Do you think that's a bit off right? No, that's not acceptable. I said, no, you can't, I'm afraid. He said, I can walk with you.

It's fine. It's not fine. It's not fine? How did you get out of it? I just said no. I just kept walking. He did stop at that point. But I don't.

What you should have done is just scream as loud as you could. I would have scared the crap out of it. I'm going to do that next time. See, if you had a minder, that could be great. You could have someone forming a perimeter around you. That'd be good, wouldn't you? Maybe you and Frank can do that next time. Yeah, great.

Frank, what would you like? Would you like to hear about my trip to crafts, or would you like to hear something about, from one of our listeners? I'd like to hear both. Whichever order they come in is your business? Well, should we share something briefly from the listeners? I think it might be nice. Oh, sure.

Do you remember we had some discussion about... Can you never, ever start a conversation with me again that begins, do you remember? It's very insensitive. We were talking about Club 69. Oh, yeah. I think you and Milo were talking about it. It's face...

I think it was Milo's term. Well, let's not get this ass about face. Come on. Oh, God. We're not going down... I'm not going down the smut-couldersack again with you. Don't go out of a smoke cold. That's right at Club 69.

Excuse me. It took me a long time to reverse out of there. Stop it, YouTube. Imagine if that happened when you came out of a 69. Frank. Caution. Reverse. Stop it.

Why did I mean that? What, on the car? The usage of sound, and now there's advice goes, reversing. You think, oh, it's really, you know, non-eathing. speakers, just get fucking run over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like walking in front of my car

with a black box. Sorry, Emily. That's all right. It says, hey, gang, just listening to the most recent podcast, I feel I have to inform you guys that there actually is a club called 69.

I'm not surprised. It's in Paisley near Glasgow. Oh, yeah. That's where Stephen Moffing comes from. Is that right? It's underneath an Indian restaurant. Okay. But despite its name.

You can't do that before Club 69. No, it's not a good idea. Please, Guy. Please. But despite its name, it's actually just a normal techno club. I wanted to pass this on, but I'm sorry to disappoint Frank and Milo. No, I forgot there were still techno clubs. That's exciting.

Exciting that it exists. Well, maybe you and Kath next time you're in Glasgow could go to Club 69. Well, you know, my days have gone. But I think I would have liked that sort of club scene. I just about caught the beginning of it. And I like being a really dark room with like somewhat, it feels like someone's hitting you with a baseball bat to the beat. And you're just standing there in complete darkness and moving about.

That was my kind of, see, I'm so self-conscious. When I went to clubs, people could see you dancing. I'm fucking, I can't live with that. But when you're just in there in that blah, that's great. You see, do you like that? I've always loathe nightclubs, even when I was younger. No, but I'm on about those sort of tech now. Yes.

But you can't sit down and talk, though. No, I don't want to do that. Oh, do you not? Why not? Do that at home? Yeah. What am I going out for? Just sit somewhere else and talk.

You sound like that footballer. I don't need friends. I've got my wife. What is it? He said? No, it's a snooker player. And what did he say? I've got a wife and child.

Wife and six daughters also. I don't need friends. It's growing his own. It's quite nice. So what I'm hearing is... He should speak with Sam Supplier. If they film Michael McIntize the wheel inside Club 69, it would possibly be a goer.

Well, that's true. He does dance, but he just doesn't like to be forced into... No, I don't dance at all now. Even in Club 69? In those days, I had to, because I thought it might bring women. It never did. How did that work out for you? It just didn't.

I don't need to dance. I've got a wife. Well, no, exactly. Although as people often point out. It's not like homosexual men, they get married. Oh, God. And then they still go dancing and they go to the gym and stuff. Different culture.

The whole heterosexual tradition of getting married and completely fucking letting yourself go. As George Michael once said, Frank, it's not your culture. No, it's, but I mean, that's the idea you get married, then you can just relax a bit. You'll be going to the gym and dancing. Guys? We need to put on a course for gay men. You know, you guys, you could be having a much better time. They're still relatively new to marriage.

Eventually, I think they'll get the gist that it's about giving up. Oh, okay. Sorry, back to the mailbag. No, I think we should leave it on that lovely. It's about giving up. We've heard from Glenn Maker, remember him? It's not a whiskey. No, but we always say,

I think we had a thing. We've heard from Glameca. Do you know what we're referencing there? No. There's an REM song where he says something that sounds like that, but I don't know what he says. Oh, okay, right, yeah. Do you know the bit we're referencing?

I probably would if I heard it in the song. Very diplomatically dealt with. Thank you. Thank you for your service to do. I thought we did it our best. I thought we did. I feel a little hard. It's quite a short snippet.

Mr. Sniffy. Is it the sideline asleep tonight? Is it that song for you? I don't know. Okay. I'll be straight with you. Well, miserable. I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to do all that stuff.

Like, when people like pretend they've seen a TV show, they haven't. I'll be straight with you, by which I mean, I'll give up. And I did used to do that a lot when I was younger. I lied a lot about things I'd seen. Yeah. Like films. I think we all did. Did you as well?

You're quite an honest person, but we all love. Nowadays, but then I wanted to, you know, I wanted to be in the crowd. And then I realized that was never going to happen. I'm sorry, I just started telling the truth. That kept him at bay. So this is from Glenmaker. Hello, Frank Emily, and whoever you've got on this week. That would be you, Milo.

Is he a Scottish landscape gardener? He's Glenmaker? Very good. I like that. Enormously. Surounds of Club 69 are very well kept. He should do that. The common areas. Well-tamed bushes.

Do you know he should do that? Definitely, just on the strength of that name. In reference to sandwich slash nipple in James Bond, do you remember that, Frank? Oh, yes. Okay? We were talking about, was it nipple counts? You said, has there ever been a sandwich?

And I said I was confident there'd never been a nipple in the films. That was it. So, Glenn Maker. Surely Sean Conneries. Well, I mean, I don't think men's nipples count. I mean, what are they even for? They look so silly. And Roger...

It's so silly. You can't really see his anywhere. There's under a thick mat of hair. What about Roger Moore? Did he have... No, he didn't have a thick mat of hair. Oh, that's very good. I've noticed.

It's hard to get down this for more. Oh, do you know, that's actually done something to me because I've always had a thing for Roger. I don't want you to do that again. It's not someone for me. Shit, agitism, darling. No, I really don't. It's making me uncomfortable.

It's actually my 16. C-Den-19 catchphrase. It's hard to get down there for more. Frank. Please. I don't want to go down that road again. You've got to call it when you see it. Okay.

I really, that disturbed me a bit when Milo did that. But I've noticed, I've done a few, you've noticed, they've crept in. Milo does quite a lot of impressions. He's very good. He wants to tell us. He wants to say, he wants to do that thing when he turns around and rustles his air up and then turns around.

But what he's done is casually slip them in, but they're good. They're all good. There was one I didn't fucking get. Which one was it? It was the guy who does daytime telly who rides a bike. Oh, Jeremy Vine. Why don't you get that?

You've met him? No, I know, but I didn't recognise the voice. If you don't know, Jeremy Vine is call in. I wouldn't have... Oh my God, that's so good. Yeah, but if he called me, I wouldn't say. Is that you Viner? I don't think he'll call him, Frank.

Well, I don't call him. After the clock we're talking about hosts. Sorry, sorry, did we just... Did we just miss one of your brilliant hidden jokes? Yeah, we said after two o'clock we're talking about toasters. Are they too dangerous? It's good. It's very good.

Do you do impressions? No. But I tell you who you are better than. You're quite good at impressions, but I tell you, David Badeel, I love him. Love him with my heart. He's terrible with impressions. He doesn't do them really, does he? Does he do impressions?

There's no point trying. I don't think I've ever heard him try. No. He can't do accents or voices. I don't think anything would upset David more than the idea of him not being David Badeel. No, he did say that to me. I said to him, you're not very good at things like impressions or things like that, voices. And he said, no, that's because I'm so fundamentally me.

No, there you go. There you go. That's an interesting way of putting it. No, but it's true, maybe. Okay, I do apologise. I'm so sorry. We're going to run out of Crofts time. I don't even know if there will be time for Crofts, but we'll see.

We can do it next week. Okay. Glenn Maker, we were discussing the nipple count in James Bond. Yeah. I re-watched Diamonds Forever recently. Diamonds are. Oh, sorry, yes, you're absolutely right. Glenn, your fault, but I should have corrected it. I had dinner with the man who wrote Diamonds of Forever, the song.

Oh, who was it, Farms? Don Black. Oh, yes. Was he nice? Very nice. He wrote Born Free, I believe. He did write Born Free, yeah. Good friend of Moy-Litman's.

Is that right? Yes. I only know that. Because when she was doing Celebrity Apprentice, and she said, I've got some tickets tonight, some celebrities I've invited, Don Black and his wife. And Cheryl Cole and Trinney said, who's that?

And she got very angry. And said, born free, have you heard of that, girls? They went, no. What about when she was a sawman of names in that anecdote? Cheryl and Trinney. I recommend watching it on YouTube. It was great. I remember Maury Lipman being on Good Morning, Britain.

I don't know what she got upset. Not upset, but something about not being paid for something. And she went, yeah, good morning Britain, I don't think so. What's what I'm talking about? She also said, Frank, when someone came in, a woman came into an award ceremony, a daytime award ceremony, dressed in what she believed was a slightly overblown way. She said, Frank. Yeah, but it was like, they were filming it in the afternoon.

Yeah. And she did, she had like a. all going on. This woman. And Maureen went, lunchtime dear. It was fairy. Yeah, anyway. I'm sorry. So. But this was in the green room at the Olivia's where you can imagine the amount of acid remark. Bichiness, yeah. Oh, yeah, Christ. So Glenn rewatched diamonds. There was one that said it went, I won't name the play, but it's currently showing

at the lyric hammersmith. And this guy, though, went, To no one. You've got to have a thick skin in that environment. Oh, man. They couldn't hear it happily. I do love whoever said that. I re-watch Diamonds R forever recently. And I spotted.

It sounds like a diamond wearer. It'd just be the letter R. Yeah. Diamonds are. Yeah, yeah. A toys of our ass. Four. Oh, yeah.

A sort of high street diamond shop. Yeah. Phones for you and diamonds forever. We sell diamonds, phones and vapes. Yeah, absolutely. And I spotted a nipple. I passed a shop today that was called coffee and e- scooters. No, it wasn't.

Seriously, that's what it was called. Are you? Are you doing? You can look it up. It's just down the road. That's so weird. God, yeah. You have the coffee and then your e-scooter to the toilet.

Right? Do you want to hear the rest of this, Ben Maker? When Sean Connery said to a beautiful young woman, I'd like you to get something off your chest and whipped off her bikini top Did he? Yes. You got to see a nipple.

Did you? This is what he's saying. Not one for the PC Brigade, but there you go. I don't believe you saw the nipple, surely Glenn. No, I can't believe that. He said he spotted it. Well, fair enough. He took off her bikini top because in those days...

I find freeze frame very difficult on DVD. In those days, the man could just take off the bikini top. didn't need permission or anything. Yeah, I don't know if that. In James Bond, that was true. I don't think it was true in the world. I'll tell you what, I'd be fucked off if I found out now that it was. Oh, yeah.

Oh, what? Anyway, that's a good reason, Frank, to maybe re-watch. Is diamonds a forever one of your favour? I'll be absolutely honest with you. I've tried to watch James Bond with my son. How does Bells find that? I went, I became so woke, I could hardly breathe. I thought I don't want him watching this.

It's so fucking sexist. It's through the ceiling. What, the Sean Connery ones, but all of them? All of them seem to be. Sean Connery in particular. Yeah. And I think Sean Connery carried that over into his personal life. Did he?

I don't know. Oh, yeah. Not a very nice man, Sean Gray. Is that right? Did you know him? No, what's really of its time of it is, is that nowadays a celebrity would deny this, but there's like a lot of video of Sean Connery on record.

Oh yeah. Sometimes you've just got to slap your wife. Yeah. Not a great guy. Yeah. Perfect for James Bond. And then of course Roger, as we know, once said, I mean I loved Roger, but he did once say, you may not be aware of this story, but it's.

Would you like me to read it? Very good. Didn't he say once to someone's wife, I'm going to kill you? I do keep telling the same stories, honey. We've got to fight it. getting love being in old people's home. I think you'll find people enjoy them, but that's another story. Don't give them what they want.

Frank's fun. The Bob Dylan approach. Ever mind what they want. Yeah. What do any of us want? It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast.

I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline.

It's good to know just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder. anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.