The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Loves A.I

Episode Date: September 18, 2026

Frank, Em and Ruth are back! Frank’s been to a talk about A.I., Em’s delighted that The Prat Pack are back, and Ruth’s been on TV with Joe Lycett, Lenny Henry and Michael Sheen! If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinna podcast, don't you know? Each time I see a little girl a five or six or seven. No, maybe not that one. This is Frank. I think it's all right. You're French. No, no, no.

It's not okay. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosco. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com. You can WhatsApp us on. Oh, 7457. 4-5-7-4-1-7-6-9.

We haven't got the jingle board, so I thought I'd help. No, but you're doing a sterling job. Thanks very much. I appreciate it. I've always found your singing voice. I don't want to do Rahim Sterling. Oh. It's a shame.

Oh, it's a shame. That's what I feel his neighbours would say. It's a shame. Don't do it, guys. No, don't do it. It's bad. It's a bad thing to me. So we were just having a bit of a comedy workshop based largely on ignorance, which all the best conversations are.

And we were talking about Jack D's new, is it a tour he's doing? I think so, yeah. Jack D, obviously a bit of a comedy ledge. But he is, we can't work out whether he's doing Jack D's greatest hits or whether he's doing. Yes. Greatest hits. or whether he's doing the greatest hits of British comedy down the years. Well, I know what we do know is that it's called Jack's Jokebook, 27, celebrating 40 years and stand up.

And he'll be doing. It says, guaranteed no new material. He'll be taking... I'm glad they're guaranteed. I was worried about that. You play the old stuff. Play the ones we like. Yeah, exactly.

So he'll be taking us on a memoir of all his favorite old stories, jokes, and funny anecdotes which have intrigued him for as long as he can remember. But I can understand him doing old jokes, for example, but old stories and anecdotes, is he going to say? I remember when I was working with Lawrence Olivier. No, he's not going to say that. And it's going to be one of my favourite Joan Plowright anecdotes. He can't do that.

He's not going to do that fact. Yeah, I remember when I was with Neville Chamberlain, what? Really? Jack. Yeah, he might be doing some. Ronnie Corbitt's and the producer said to me? Oh yes.

What was Ronnie Corbett's producer always called, by the way? Can you remember? No, he would just say the producer. They were always bloody talking to him, weren't they? Yeah. Well, that's fair enough. Well, do you know, I don't actually, I can't actually establish whether what the format of this was going to be.

Well, I think John Kearns on this podcast said to me that Jack was doing old jokes as a sort of a celebration of old jokes. jokes. It's a bit like Jack Deere has become AI. It's like all the jokes ever in Britain have gone into him and he's become a synthesis of that. D.I. Yeah, but yeah, that's what it's, I'm really intrigued by you. Do you know what? I think we should have a group out. Well, that's how I see it, yeah. Yeah, where's it at? He's playing. No, let's not plug all this thing. You can just look up, Jack, do you?

He'll be out there. I went to, actually, I went to a talk about AI on Sunday night. Did you? Where was that? It was at the Queen Elizabeth Hall on the South Bank of the Temps. Oh, it was a poshion. It was actually my brother-in-law, Jack, talking about the threat of AI to write us.

That wasn't Jack's joke, but that was Jack's. Now, that was Jack's. Very serious talking. Very furious book. No, it was that he was very impassioned. I have to say, I've never seen him like that. He was impassioned. And it was a real, you know, I mean, I love AI personally.

I think it's great. And if it rises up and kills us, you've got to die of something. I remember when I was teaching at a college of FI, we had a big, AIDS was the big thing then, heterosexual AIDS was a big thing. But it was the big thing everyone was talking about. There was adverts on the telly and all the stuff. Yeah. Not for it, but for watching out for it.

John Hart? I had the thing I bet he did. I went in to do a lecture and this, I said, there was the AIDS talk. And this girl said, well, boring. I mean, you've got to die of summer, tell you. And I thought there, it's done it. Well, I used to work with a woman called Joe in Greggs who said that a bit going on the sunbeds.

What did she say? You've got to do some to say, yeah. Oh, you go. So it might as well be having, you might as well die with a nice tan. I can't like her. I like Joe and Greg's. Would I get on with her? Well, I don't know.

One day she came in and she'd been seeing a guy and she came up to me and went, Ruth, what does I remand mean? Oh. He was like, eh. It's never occurred to it before. How close? television on demand is to on remand. There ought to be an on remand section that's just true crime. I bet Kath and I would be all over.

Oh, I would say. So the talk was about, was it specifically about AI or was it AGI? Oh no. That's artificial general intelligence. So AI can basically carry out tasks like chat GPT. AGI is the scary one that's going to take over the world. it reasons and functions like a human, allegedly. It's sort of autistic, isn't it, AGI?

Yeah. So AGI will think, when, I've read some history books, when lockdown happened, all these beautiful creatures you hadn't seen before appeared in your garden. I have deduced from this that human beings are the problem. Let's create a virus which wipes them out. That's exactly right.

It's very logical, isn't it? Well, you know, I see where they're coming from. Yeah. Anyway, it was, everyone there was very, I didn't, I didn't say anything. Did you get a round of applause? Oh, man, more than that. Ovation. Like I say, it was, it was very, like, I love AI, but I had to say this was a great, it was a great speech.

But one thing about AI, it was about writers who aren't, you know, who wouldn't be able to write a novel, just saying to a AI. I don't know how you do this. I don't know the tools, but just say, I want to write a novel about a bloke who goes on to her telling old jokes and he's killed by some old comedians. Can you write?

And then it just writes it. Can that happen? Yeah, and you could even say, write it in the style of Jack D. You could all, I'll tell you what you could do, and I've heard this, which is terrifying, if you wanted to say,

can you create a podcast, so with audio, in the style of a comedian like, Frank Skinner, a Birmingham comedian talking with two women of these ages, and they're talking about AI. Yeah. You could hear that in about 10 minutes.

It would be a fully-fledged podcast. That's brilliant. I don't say that. You're actually talking us out of a job. But the thing is that AI isn't funny. It will say things that aren't jokes. Well, yeah, but let's face it, we have weeks. Well, that's true.

We have weeks when the audience were pining for AI. Yeah. Sweet result. They'd settle for Alexa. Yeah. Can you say, it's Alexa AI actually. Yeah, Alexa's AI. Alexa feels quite old school now, though.

Yeah, definitely. I think of her as domestic slavery without the guilt. What about Siri? That's almost seems 70s. If you banned it, though, Jack's argument was if you use other people's stuff, it should all be credited and paid for. So if you're writing jokes based on 10 different comedians, they should all get.

predicated and pay. But one thing I've always been very proud of with show business is it's always found a home for people who are shit. And, you know, those people, where else do they go? Yeah, thanks everyone, by the way. No, no, but I'm on about, even at the very top of the trip. I mean, we all know, we don't want to name names, but we all know people on tell you and think, for fuck.

So, what? Yeah. Why? Yeah. But it's lovely that they've, you know, they've been embraced. And I think, you know, can't all be talented people. No. You need light and dark.

So I wouldn't want them to be excluded. You know what I mean? What, the mediocre people? Yeah, well, mediocre. That's the top end of them. But then, yeah, you need light and shade because it makes the really talented people look really good. No, but I think you've got to have, you know, packaging and packing.

It's like Shalbiz is like a big Pomey granny You've got the lovely toasty bits But you need that yellow Yes you do Yellow stuff To hold it all together

I'm not going to name anyone But you know Those sorts of presenter people Who are the yellow stuff But it is also the Prince Hal If all the year We're playing holidays To sport would be as tedious as to work

We need those people in there Yeah Because it's right We can't have a Frank Skinner permanent holiday Yes I said it, Frank. Yeah, but I don't want to, so I don't want to drive them out

by getting too strict. Yeah. Do you want the people who always say things like, is everyone having a good time? Well, you know, people love them. They love that more than an elaborate joke that you've worked on for ages. So, yeah, I think there is.

So let's hold on to the hopeless. I love that charity initiative. Yeah. The great thing about AI, And I say it was a brilliant. I have to say again, it was a brilliant speech. And, you know, it was great. I think the whole family were like, wow.

Well, they're proud. I like that proud family. Yeah, but the good thing about AI at the moment, and I think we're proving it now, is none of us really fucking know what it is or what it can do. True. And they're the best conversations, aren't they? As soon as we get the real experts on it,

who know exactly the limit, who someone sitting in there and said, no, actually, they couldn't, devise a virus. Oh, fuck, you've ruined it now. Fuck up. There's always an expert. Yeah, no, I want plenty of that.

So, yeah, and most of the best robot story is the robots kill the human beings in the end. Yeah. If you're going to make a robot. Was there a drinks party after the talk? No. Oh, why not?

No. I love a drinks party. I don't think there was. I had an idea of getting AI to come up with a question for me to ask. I don't know how to do it. Was there a Q&A? There was a Q&A.

Did you not ask a question? No, the mic never came over to my own. I think they had the instructions. Oh, good. I'm glad Cathy received them. And also, I think there's a case of what my mother used to call Family Holdback. You know, when you'd have people around for lunch and there wasn't quite enough. Family Holdback, I think as family, you can't take seize the Golden Mike, you know.

No, but all the questions, well, I think. I think a lot of the questions were, right, some of the longest questions I've ever heard at any Q&A. What sort of the things are they asking then? Well, people was, first of all, they'd spend the first 10 minutes doing their CV, and then they'd ask a question. And I thought, oh, no. That's the trouble now. When people see Jack, I think they think job opportunity, you know what I mean. Yeah, so, oh, they come out with all their credits.

Oh, no. And when they see me, they think knob joke opportunity. That's the difference between us. Did anyone do that thing of like Not so much a question But a comment per se That's what they all were really I hope they didn't say per se

But nobody said I think it's great And you know I'll fuck If the robots fancy their chances Come on Come on then Nobody said that

But you always see the robots When you see them in the news Falling over Attacking children Well yes I'm not meant to I've seen that in the crowds Attacked children.

Yes, there was one recently. And I'm afraid this did happen. It went rogue and ran into the crowd and was sort of stamping on kiddies and dogs. Yeah, but I mean Eric Cantenard is that. You know, there's going to be. At least the robot didn't mean it. No. I mean, that nice Android, she's lovely, lovely company for the show.

I like Android. It's great. Yeah. Oh, do you like it, Frank? Oh, God. Oh, I'm so glad. Is there not been an episode where she goes rogue yet? Android, no, she's not gone rogue.

That's a lot, yeah. Anyway, seriously. That'll be the one. She ripped Sue Johnson's head off. That'll be the last episode. And a warning to us all about the day and just about it. Oh, God. Just like, oh, you can see like a big windpipe just flapping about.

Just as up 28 days later ending with the wind. Oh, dear, I've pulled your head off, Sue. Sue, I am sorry Is she not called Sue in the programme, is she? Yeah, the robot is called Sue? No, the robot's called Linda. Oh, Linda, yes. No, she is called Sue.

Is Sue Johnson called Sue? I think she. Like in the old days. Yes, she is. She is, Frank. So like Terry and June were actually called Terry and June. People couldn't be bothered to give them a different name.

I think she is. Because doesn't she at the beginning go, Sue, Sue, Sue, I think she is called Sue. I think you're right. That's only just a cut. I haven't seen it, but it looks great. It's so good. Why did they do that in the old days, frankly? Terry and Jim, was it because Terry Scott was already a personality

and they wanted people to feel familiar and comfortable that he was sort of playing a version of himself? I think they had to remind. Because in Tony Hancock, it was Sid, was Sid James was also Sid and stuff like that. Yeah, I think they thought this is a big soul. We paid a lot of money for. Don't you fucking idiots forget who they are? So they just didn't change the name.

It's so lazy. Even AI would change the name. Well, sometimes Tony Hancock would play Tony Hancock. He'd actually be this like comedian actor Tony Hancock. In Hancock's half hour? Yeah. And the next week he'd be at some army reunion. It's a completely different bloke.

It's great. I think I've got that right. Some prat. writing. Don't you take the name Pratt in vain? Yes. No, you're trying. You're treading on my dreams and you know why, Frank,

because the Pratt Pack are back. I've been talking about them only this morning. Yeah. I love the Prat Pack. Can you name the Prat Pack for me quickly, please? Bradley Wall. Yes. Brian Conley.

Yes. Shane Ritchie. Yes. And, and Ed Miliband. No, I think it's... Joe Pasquale. Yes.

Do you like Joe Pasquale? Thanks for the tip. No, I was going to say, he speaks very highly of you. Oh, very good. I thought he was so cute when I was little because of his voice. That's quasperly. Is that his real voice? Well, I've never heard him do another voice.

Where's he from, Frank? Is he... I don't know where he was from. Okay, if anyone knows, please let us know. Sounds Italian. Yeah. No, I just meant where was he bought, you know, is he Birmingham or something like that. Oh, I think sounds Italian. That's my guess. Your ice cream. Do you want an ice cream?

Do you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaia and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better Apparently that's how I roll So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem Anyway Ruth

Yeah What on earth is happening in your crazy old world Are you still working? You're still doing a proper job? Yeah still yeah Good on you Thank you so much well Hopefully not for too long because I had my acting debut on the telly on Friday night, just gone.

Oh. I have been doing some work on Joe Lysit's new show, The Lyset Arms. Okay. It's live on Friday night. And I was going just as a punta, really. But before I went, I got a message saying, will you come and deliver a line, a written line, to Michael Sheen. Love that.

Just one line. Okay. You haven't started a Coke delivery business. See what, we shout the money. We're more than the real pay. I'm sorry, I know it's an unusual last minute. You had to say someone to Michael Shitty. I did, yeah, I did, I did, ah.

Yeah, and I, you know, it was... Did they ask you to be camera ready? I'm always camera ready. Oh, good girl. Always, good girl. And I was going so... Because you look fabulous. Didn't she do, I'm a woman?

Oh, that was Helen ready. Oh, good girl. Carry on. So I went and had to do a rehearsal with them. And there was a woman, in the little sketch bit, there's a woman standing next to Michael Sheen. It's called Michael Sheen's motivation station in the function room of this pub. It's been made up.

Is he on every week, Michael Sheen? No, every week on the show, they have a special guest and a new landlord of the pub, who this week was Lenny Henry. Oh, they had all the... Sir Lenny Henry. Oh, they had all the Brommies in. Well, actually he's from Douglay Oh, I can't keep up with your strange details

Well, I went up to, Lenny was behind the bar And I went up to him and said Oh, I'm from the black country as well And he said, oh, I wait, which bit you're from? And I said Worsal and he went, ah, Worsal And that was it. Yeah, Lenny Hennie Hensler says that. Why does he say that, Frank?

I don't know if Worsall. Does Worsal definitely the black country? Yes, very much so. Not so much, are you? Are you being sick? Some people say, Anyway, can you tell us what your line was? It's gone out now.

Yeah, so they gave me the line which was, so you're going up to Michael Sheen asking for motivation for quite mundane things. So I had to say, every time, I'm having problems with my Wi-Fi. Every time I call Virgin Media, I just get stuck on hold, and I just, I get stuck on hold, and I just give up. And then he will give you a rosing speech about, it and I thought saying that would be easy. I thought, it happens.

Well, I don't know, you've just fucked it up here. Oh, frankly critical. Come on. Under the bar. It doesn't matter now. It's been gone out. Under the pressure of. I'm going to have a look at it on remand. Oh, I looked at it on remand.

Oh, yeah. And you were so naturalistic. Honestly, I was very proud of her, Frank. She sounded just like some person ringing Virgin. Honestly, I've never heard anyone sound so good at that. Does that sound rude? It's the common touch. Oh, don't, Ruth. I don't mean it like that. I've been workshopping. I've been practicing.

You sounded great. You were so good. I've never been sure of the proud rights. Do you know what I mean? Like even when I said, when I was talking about my brother-in-law doing a speech, I was going to say I was proud of him. Then I thought, I don't think I can be proud of him. I know. But that's because you're quite puritanical about these things. I think you have to be a blood relative.

Well, that's a bit difficult for me. So will you please at least allow me to have pride in friends? Do you good then? Then you won't have the sin of pride. Well, because my family aren't around. You can be proud of yourself, madam. Well, I'm very proud of you. Thank you so much.

I will graciously accept it. I don't think that's a legitimate pride. You're my adopted family. Oh, I love that. But you've delivered the lines so, it was, honestly. It was great, Frank. Oh, good. I mean, I'm going to go and watch it now and think,

Wasn't that great? Of course, yes. That's exactly what Rang's going to say. So, but there was a... Was that your first TV line? The only other thing I've ever been on was a tenacious D-live video. Oh, you're on. I'm in the concert, singing, yeah, when I was 18.

That's the only other thing I've ever been features on. So, yeah, that's my debut. But there was a woman standing next to Michael Sheen holding a, you know, a chip and pin because you have to like tap your card. Pretend you're paying, you're giving a donation to it. Oh, I see. And I was like, who's this woman hanging around with him? And then we came back and did it again.

She was holding hands to him. He was his wife. He was wife with him, part of the school. Oh, I quite like that, though. Yeah. No, I met him the other week. I'd never met him before. I was a bit scared of him, to be honest.

Why were you frightened of him? Because he's one of the, you know, you know, there are certain Welsh people in the arts who feel thunderous. Windsor Davis. But they feel as if they can only speak. Like this. And he wasn't at all like that. He's got very main character energy.

Yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah. I mean, I can only seem really as on a blasted heath. As King Lear, that kind of feel to him. I think it's the beard. But he wasn't. He was very nice.

So are you going to be doing this again, do you think? I won't be on. I mean, that was just, it wasn't planned. That was a very last minute thing. But I am going to be going to the lice at arms again. Yeah, because it's good fun. Very enjoyable and just, yeah, just a good laugh and a free bar. Free bar.

My idea of hell. Yeah. Because everyone gets drunk and it's just, oh, mate, really, I do imagine that that's what hell could be like. People come up and saying the same thing eight times. I mean, I don't need a free bar for that, but yeah. And is this in Birmingham, by the way? No, it's in London. Okay, I don't know.

Yeah. Oh, I assumed it was in Birmingham. So did I think that? No, it had to be done in London. Okay. All right. So will you what? I thought the whole frost in town.

Andy Burnham has changed nothing. I think because of the... It had to be done in London. All you ever said in television, well, we've got to have like a regional thing. So we've got to do it in Solford. We've got to... Oh no, this...

This Birmingham's most famous resident in a pub It has to be, has to be done in London. Look, I don't know why, but... No, well, ours is not to reason why. Yes, it's not in Birmingham for reasons I don't know. As is but to I and I. Exactly. Good old Michael Sheen.

He's getting about a bit, you know. He's now present... He presents House of Games. He does he? Yeah, he's started, yeah. What's happened to Osman? He's doing so much now, Michael Sheen. He's doing an impression of Osmond.

Does he do any impressions on that? Wouldn't that be brilliant? If he took over and just don Richard Osmond? Because he's done everybody else. Tarrant. Does he do impressions on the truth? You know, you see that was on Stilts. Yeah.

You could be that. He could be doing that. Oh man, I'd watch it if that. If it was Michael Shee on stilts with glasses on, doing a Richard Osmond impression, that'd be fantastic. Did he do any impressions on the show? No, just himself. He doesn't really do impressions.

He just went through a period of playing. I'm not suggesting his yard would. He might do impressions. I always like it when he cracks one out. Well. As I say, his wife. Who was that an impression off the Pratt Pack in their tour bus? Have they got a tour bus, the park park?

I hope so. I hope so. I hope so. Yeah, I think so. The tinted windows. It'd be good if they all hate each other. If they don't know, they will Oscar. They will. Do you wish to hear from the outside?

I bet they sit slagging off modern comedy. Oh, the rampart, you see that bird on fucking that pub show? That one set in Birmingham. See that bird on there asking about fucking being kept waiting? Fucking hell Oh, the Wokerati Yeah, exactly They hate the Wokerati

Oh man They think you're the Wokerati as well I am the Wokerati as well I know But that's why they think you've changed They don't like it Oh, I've changed Used to be the old PC brigade

Yeah, exactly No, that was what Jim Davidson I literally heard him say that As you may know Many years ago in Edinburgh When I chose to go and see him It was my choice, Frank. And he did say, well, yeah, glad you got in.

Surprised I'm still allowed to perform with the old PC brigade. Yeah, the old PC brigade, which I think sounds just like a description of the police, doesn't it? The PC Brigade. Yeah, that must be as well as in the uniform. Who are the Brigade? Oh, what about when they used to say we're going to hell in a hand cart? As if everyone automatically knew what I had. As if a hand car was part of this modernised,

this progressive phenomenon. I've always... Yes, why did people say that? It was peculiarly medieval, wasn't it? What they should say, yeah, is the driverless car. We're all going to hell in a driverless car. I always thought a hand cart was a trolley. Is that not what it is?

It sounds quite chalcerian a handcart. No, it's what you carry, prod. on the produce on. I said to the produce. Also, why would it be worse to go to hell in the handcot? Is it because it's a sort of undignified form of transportation? I mean, if I was going to hell, I'm not going to do worried about the vehicle. I don't care. I don't care. I'm to be worried about the final destination. It doesn't make it better if it's Rolls-Royce. It's still going to hell.

They tend to be wooden, I don't they? The handcuffs. Yeah, I mean, they're not designed for hell. No. Oh, no. Maybe they do want to make it sound like a particularly undinging. I think they, what they're doing, they don't know they're doing it, but they're associating hell with medieval England because I think no one believes in hell anymore. That's true.

Unless a serial killer dies or something. When Myra Hinley died, the son said, you know, may she burn in hell? And I thought, oh, you believe in hell? Who knew? But I think that's what they were doing. The IDIC said in one to alienate their audience by suggesting that modern people believe in hell. Yes. Good night.

There'll be more from Frank Skinner's Everyday Theology, Tomorrow Night on Radio. Do you wish to hear from the outside world? Yes. Dan has got in touch. You were telling us recently about your Bon Jovi experience at Wembley. Dan says, I was at the last ever gig in the old Archless Wembley. And the last ever performance. former in that stadium was none other than Bon Jovi themselves.

At the beginning of the concert, Mr. Jovi himself, I love Mr. Jovi. Mr. Jovi. It sounds so ridiculous. It sounds like when Jeremy Paxman said to Dizzy Rascal, Mr. Rascal. He's not called Mr. Jovey. Bonn's not his middle name. He's calling him Jovey. Oh, his name's, yeah, John, Bond Jovey. Did you forget in the middle bit there, Ruth? If it looked confused. Yeah, I thought, Mr. Jovey, I skipped it. I like Mr. Jovey. Mr Jovi himself said

If they want to demolish this stadium They're going to have to tear down these walls around us Because we're here to party all night Clearly Wembley-based lying Is a familiar trait to John As they promptly left the stage Just after 10pm walls intact Yours loyal reader, Dan

Oh, I love Mr Jovi saying that Yeah, Mr Jovi's great He's great Mr Jovi I mean when I sang I think I said this, that when they sang living on a prayer in that stadium, apparently the volume to the local, you know, they have a deal with how loud it can be. Yes. It went beyond the left.

And it wasn't the band. It was the singing. Imagine being at Wembley and someone singing your song that you've written. That must be fantastic. Oh, come on, Frank. He knows what it's like. Yeah. Well, David Biddell did say it was better than the birth of his children.

Did he really? I don't. I wasn't there for that. Three lines is their child in a way, isn't it? You weren't allowed in? That's terrible. I know, that's what it's like nowadays. No pass. No.

We've also had... It's all areas. Oh, God. It was... Oh, sorry, Ruth. Oh, no, sorry. It was a three lions adjacent thing. I thought you were going to sing,

When I was just a little girl. I asked my mother, what would I be? She said, I'm doing the fucking house. You'll be bloody exhausted like I am. Or in my house, darling, my agent might be trying to call. Shut up. No, he's not, mum, because he never does. Poor actresses.

Poor actresses. What were you going to say, Ruth? Sorry, Ruth. Just on the way here in my taxi, the guy said... Taxis now, she's been on Joe Lyset. Yeah, well. The man said, where are you going? I said, I'm going to do a podcast record.

He said, oh, what's the podcast? Said, do you know Frank Skinnery? What's the podcast? What's the podcast? What's the podcast before? And I said, oh, do you know Frank Skinner? He said, oh, yeah, yeah, did three lions with... I don't know, the other guy.

Sorry. Oh, that's so... Shelby's... Yeah. But you see the human mind can't retain too much information. No, just push his other things out. Yeah, it does. Sorry to derail that then.

Do you wish to hear about a way in which your book is being used, Franklin? Andrew W. No, it's okay. It's sort of a table leg involved in this. I like the way it's being used, and I hope you will too. Andrew W. has got in touch. Hi Frank, I thought you'd enjoy this. Your book is being used as a lampstand.

Permanently screwed into a light fitting at my local pub in Pembrokeshire. Obviously an illuminating read. I'm going to allow you to see this now, Frank. Can you see the purple copy three books down? Oh, yes. That's the light fitting. There is another book and it is called John Masters. Can you see

Now God be haunted I don't know what that is I see it's a bestsellers theme The lamp Can you read that piece of truth? I'm in with the pulp You know when you buy books off eBay You can buy

One of my most depressing things It said for sale Two metres of green books Oh my God that is so depressing It's so depressing Oh, that's what people should worry about, not bloody AI. But that's become a real thing, hasn't it? Color-coordinated books.

It's a real interior design trend. What do you think of that? I think it's immoral. Do you? I do. Okay, fair enough. I think books must be respected. I mean, John Master's just FYI.

Yeah. You're not in bad company. Do you know John Master? Yeah, we used to go to a club with him. He was an Indian Army officer. Oh. And when I say that, he was a British novelist, but he was... I bet he was a top.

Fine, eh? Sorry, carry off. It's up to you. Your Masters. If you and your friend wanted to continue your rib-old anecdotes. Oh, go on. He was best known for his historical fiction about British rule. Sorry.

Okay. I mean, it's all, all S&M imagery. He sounds very much like my king. And the independence movement in India. Okay. So I don't, I still don't... Is he still with us? Oh no, he died in 1983.

He was born in 19... Funny just discovered him and he's been taken away from me. Mahat Magandhi and I used to hang out with him in the early 30s. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. So, but you're, look, I think you're in good company with John Masters, Frank. Yeah, and we can't see the other books.

Yeah. I don't know what they'll be. I bet they're patent place. That used to be in every second and bookshop ever. You've heard of patent place. No, was that. Or Grace, Mattelius. Yes, there was a series made of it, wasn't there in 17.

There was a TV series, but I think people thought, watched the telling, they were, like, I like him, paint and place. I might try that book thing, you know, hear about it. And they bought it, and they thought, hold on, there's no moving pictures or no sound. What is this? What can I do with this? A grand, second hand book. Stop, my mom. And that's it.

That's the story of what happened there. Where do you stand on coffee table books? I never stand on coffee tables or books. Do you like them? Coffee table. I don't mind them. Have you got any? It would only be a Doctor Who-based thing.

They've all been gifts. Like great tardesses of the world. I don't think I've ever bought a coffee table. Have you not? No, I've never, you know, airplanes of the world and stuff like that. All those ones you get in W.H. Smith Motorway Services. called Our Queen of Hearts. It's a great big, loads of pictures.

And cars, a lot of people like books about cars. Yeah, exactly. And things like the Blue Planet. Yes. I was going to sit and read that. Yeah. Pa. Have you got a coffee table book?

I have. I've been, through my work in fashion, I was often gifted those. I have Dior, a few interior designs. I mean, I kind of like the way they look, but I don't love the concept of them. I sort of think they're anti-reading in a way, aren't they? Yeah, they're sort of the book that wants to be a magazine.

Exactly. They're making me think when you go to the hairdressers and they've got all the copies of the mags on the side. Yeah. That's what I think. Yeah. They don't do that so much anymore. Do they still have to take a break still, Sal?

I think so. I mean, I still like you. Take a break. Actually, going back to my brother-in-law's AI. They did an entire AI edition. They did. They did a whole issue, didn't they? Yeah. And apparently they print quite a lot of AI articles and stuff. I'm not suggesting that they hold their readers in otter contempt for one second. But I think they've been one of the pioneers of AI, yeah. Take a break. I'll just get it for the puzzles. Do you know, Frank has featured before at the centre of the crossword.

An arrow words. He's been an arrow word. Arrow words, yeah. It's very easy crossword. It's just things like quiver, shaft. Oh, really? It's just arrow words. No limited there things too.

Oh man, they talk about reducing your horizons. It's a Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing It's the Frank Skinner podcast I'm not totally sure how it's going Thanks for listening to the podcast Make sure to like and follow So you never miss an episode

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