The Frank Skinner Show - Frank on Stag Dos

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by Ruth Husko. They discuss England's latest match, whether pigeons get bad PR, and Frank's thoughts on stag dos. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769 We’re currently sponsored by BT - behind brilliant things! Search ‘Why BT’ to find out more or click on the following link: https://www.bt.com/broadband/why-bt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Sunner rise early in the morning. No, absolutely not. Oh, okay. I thought music was all right. Go, O Matron. Anyway, this is Frank Skinner on Frank off the radio,

too many on and off. So I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosko. follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frankoffler Radio at Avalonukk.com. Then, of course, there's WhatsApp. 0-7-457. Yeah.

4-1-7. Baby. 69. Yeah, it's that one. Why does he say in, like, mournful at the... No, it's not mournful, it's settling in. Oh, okay. Settling in on the prophet's eye.

Yeah. Just getting your ear in the right place, it doesn't hurt. Really? Yeah. That's what I've always imagined that's about. Well, that's very interesting because it's not what I've imagined. You don't even hear people talking about anymore. What's that?

69. Ironically, it's very 70s. Yeah. Frank, may I ask a personal question? Are you going to do the entire podcast with a green star on your forehead? Oh, I forgot. I still got that. May I ask, why did you stick a green star on your forehead?

Well, somebody kindly sent me a poetry book from Cork in, well, obviously in Ireland. And their address is on here somewhere. I'm not going to read out their address, but I'll just say that they live. This is why I thought this might be a scam. They live in Shamrock Drive. That sounds like such a lie. I know, but it must exist. Guinness Avenue.

It's such a lie. No, I believe it. Well, it's been delivered. Anyway, it included some stars in its packaging, and I just tried one on my forehead. So I'm a big fan of teenagers who cover their spots with those star-shaped plaster things. I think it's really nice to say, yes!

Yeah. Yes! I know! Reclaim the spot. It is reclamation of the finest. I love it. I don't have any spots. But I've got... Strange bows.

Yeah. You've got beautiful skin, Frank. Thank you so much. Drop the skincare routine. You look like, you know, you see the texture of a McDonald's bun. Yeah. It's so smooth and perfect. It's almost a bit toasted.

I'm actually self-baseding. It's always been one of his finest qualities of skin. Thank you so much. He doesn't like it when you're gone too much. Okay, that's enough. No, I don't care about that kind of price. Well done, though. I don't get much.

Hold on, though, dear. I'm a fan of all praise, dermatological. Well, tell us the skincare routine, the audience, the readers, I should say, will want to know. I think it's to do with not drinking or smoking or doing drugs. I'm sorry, no, that's not the information you want to hear. No, it is. When people say to me, I've got good skin, I'll say never, ever, ever take drugs. Sorry, was I supposed to respond by saying you've got really good.

No, no. I'm feeling that was a reprimand. That was a veiled reprimand that I had said. Well, can I also say, Ruth? Not only are you much loved on the internet, but you've got your skin shines as like... Is this podcast sponsored by Nivian now? This will be my last week on this part.

No way. Well, it might be my last week. No, I was just saying because it's funny that you said that about not taking drugs because I said that to someone recently said my skin was really nice and I always say the same thing, never ever take drugs because they do make you look mad and ugly. ugly and they will age you. Wow.

But I remember saying to Robert Downey Jr. that he was a great advert for heroin. Because he looked lovely. You mustn't say things like that. No, but he did. He looked great. I know, but you shouldn't say that. He was fine, isn't it?

I'm sure he was. He was in 7th Heaven at the time. No, no, he was straight. Oh, he's clean. He took it in the spirit in which it was delivered, which is what I'm like with Amazon. So the star has gone now. I feel relieved.

Yes, it's gone. Okay. I mean, it wasn't actually there. That was the light that it was generating 40 years ago. Like all stars, we see them as they were rather than... You just look like you joined a weird cult and I felt uncomfortable about it. You know, I've met about eight people that grew up in cults. You'd think, wouldn't you?

That'd be really unusual. There's been cults all over the bloody place. Yeah. I think how do they get into them? Because they're so secretive as well. I think there's Isn't there a cult section in Time Out but you can join?

I think so you can subscribe Some people just pick it on colour of robe Some on belief Some on the sex element Well there is a famous cult Which we won't name because they're quite litigious But they often have a headquarters in London

Which you may both be familiar with And they often approach people in the street They never approach me And then I read they only approach they approach the very good looking people. I thought you were going to say the very gullible looking, which would work.

They call Storm. They're called. No, but you always see about Storm Agency. They discover, I presume their scouts are female. Because they'll say, oh yeah, we saw the 15-year-old Kate Moss and Heathrow, went over and said, come around and I'll take some photos of you. I thought, yeah, I'll try that.

Let's see how that goes. I'm still waiting to get spotted. I don't know about you, M. I still walk around thinking I could get spotted. Well, I thought the star might turn it around. What if I'd forgot about the star? I'd gone home in Waddy's bright sunshine today. And then I was stopped with the outline.

You had a turn. Oh, no, that would be awful. I would love it if that happened. Yeah. Talking of which, Frank. Yes. Did you see the England game? I did see the England game, of course.

Did you like it? As we record. Yes, we should say where we are. Well, we're in spirit land, of course. But yes, it was actually, England, Croatia was last night as we record. And I went to David Badeel's house at 9 o'clock at night. I went out, left house in the dark. Left house.

Tom Chance. I thought I sent a telegram to that list. Left House at Doc. Arrived. Stop. Arrived 850. Stop. Yeah, exactly.

So yeah, I went with the whole Badiol family were there. Lovely. I was more winner into football. I think when England play in the world, lovely. People who don't like football like football. I like that. And it was exciting.

And one of those very rare things, an enjoyable England game. It was. Although I wasn't sure about it. Unless you're Garrett Southgate, which case you sat at home going, fuck off with it. Get back!

Get back! Yeah. You're right. That's like very going to an ex's wedding. I wouldn't want to be around the house. Wouldn't be around the house with him to die. He's already in his dressing gown until about 4.30 in the afternoon. He's playing the scratches.

Oh, man. He'll be absolutely livid. Do you know what? I wasn't sure about the Tom Hiddleston thing at the beginning of the ITV coverage. Did you see that? No, I didn't get back for Tom. It was kind of like, he said it's time to believe again. It's time for England.

We believe in you. It was a bit all right, Kenny Branagh. It did feel a bit Kenny Branagh. I'm not going to lie. I love Tom. You love him, my goodness. I do love him. Because I think self-awareness cripples us in many ways.

And I like to see someone who's flown utterly free from it. What I like is he keeps delivering guys. The dance wasn't enough. He doesn't say, oh, I did the dance. But he's like, no, I'm going back for more. I'm going back for him. It's time to believe again. Brilliant.

Brilliant. Brilliant. Low-key. I saw him in Shakespeare and I see him alive. He was fantastic. I mean, he is brilliant. What do you think? Also the nicknames.

You know what makes me laugh? You know, they always have nicknames for each other. I'm going to wear a vest that says, I-heart, T-H. Now, that would be very meta, and I would like that. Yeah. You know, the pundits, whenever, because Ian Wright loves a nickname, so he calls Gary Neville gal, which I find very odd. He goes, no, gal.

Girl, no gal. And Gary Neville looks a little bit uncomfortable. If there was someone called Guy. Guy Mowbray, big guys and gals? I would actually, I don't know if you didn't say that anymore. No. No, whoops. And then Joe Hart, I watched the post-match covered on the BBC.

It's Joe Hart and Wayne Rooney. And they look very uncomfortable because Joe Hart keeps, I mean, Wayne Roney's a bit uncomfortable as a ponder anyway, bless him. But Joe Hart keeps calling him Waz. And I don't think Wayne likes it Because I think he's sort of saying Look I'm doing a proper job here, mate It's a bit embarrassing It means urinate doesn't it?

Well yeah, that's what I thought That's what I don't know if Joe Hart Because he keeps saying Well Elizabeth was saying him If you're going to play that deep I was saying to Waz And Wayne's sort of tensing Like giving him side glances

Stop calling me that Yeah I bet he'll have a quiet word He didn't like it Frank Wayne No he probably has told him But Joe Hart can't hear him from that altitude. Oh dear. It doesn't feel like the natural progression from Wayne to Waz.

You'd go Wazah. Yeah, why didn't they go Wazah? He said Wazer. Well, Wayne is one syllable. I know, but they could use that. Stop the footballers. Way. Call him Roo.

I used to call him Roo. The newspaper's called him Roo because it rhymed with lots of things for their punning headlines. Roo beauty, if you got a goal. Stuff like that, yeah. Love those. Yes, they did a lot of them.

Roo Hosko. That's me. Oh yeah, we're going to have to start doing that. Nobody calls you Roo, do they? No. I won't call you Razz. I get called Ruthie sometimes. That's quite nice.

Ruthie, I always think of Ruthie Henshaw. It's the only Ruthie I really know. Yeah. But, you know, I don't know. I don't get out much. Okay. Anyway, we like the England game.

We were very pleased, weren't we? What are you being up to, Rui? Well, keen listeners, readers will know. Don't worry. Call them what you like. Well, don't call them what you like. I should be calling them readers as a reader myself. As I mentioned before, I've played loads of darts game

as part of the City of London Darts Association. First season, I was bottom of the league, minus 25 points, couldn't win a game. Minus 25 points? Did you lose points for financially regularities? How can you be minus 25 points? No, I don't really understand the scoring system, but I was bottom. It must be you have a certain amount of points for every game And I'd lost too many

I don't know But anyway, the point being is Let's not get Bogdan in the city of London Darts Is he on today? No, he's no longer No, he is with us Okay, I don't know, I haven't heard of him phrased Do you know Bob Down Ruth?

No, thanks for the two But he wears a safari They're the best ones that don't want He wears a safari suit Or he wore, we should say A beige polyester leisure suits And that was sort of his stick was wearing a safari suit.

And singing Frank Sinatra's songs. He dressed as a... It was character comedy essentially, wasn't it? I do. No, he had white teeth and a blonde wig. That's right. That's right. He wouldn't really stand out now. But in the 80s, there weren't many people with white teeth. That was a comedy.

That was a comedy moment having perfectly straight white teeth. I know. People thought, wow, how weird is that? Ah, look at his teeth. Not remotely yellow or crooked. It's like if there was a pigeon cabaret. and some of them came on with two complete claws. People would be absolutely blown away by you.

Anyway, back to the dots. Are they claws or talons? Talon. I like a talon. Oh, that's an eagle. Oh. Anyway, back to the dots. I'm going to do a documentary called Pigeons got talons. In which I discover why they have that terrible, clenched, horrible, gnarled one foot like that. It's at the point of the entire point of the documentary.

They've always got slip-flops on and they've got to keep them on. Oh, it could be that. It could be that. Yeah. Because if they lived on purchase, you would imagine, because they have to have one foot clenched while they groom with the other. But they don't live on purchase. They live on pavements.

Yeah. They're growing on me pigeons because I feel sorry for them. I think they get a very bad PR. Oh, the pigeon. Yeah, and they clear up a lot of vomit, which they don't get full credit for. Anyway, back to the dots. I won, I've forgotten. I won my first game this week.

Wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Let's see what we've got here. Keep going. Stand up if you love the dance. Stand up. Oh, I've got only five. Oh, we go.

Just play something. I'm pressing the jingle. Here we go. That's good. Sing it, Cliff. Oh, stopped. He's busy and Bob Adolf. Who was you playing?

You don't have to name them. No, just a man from the league, I mean. You beat a man, good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I did. And it was really exciting because I almost got a 180. I got 140, which is my highest ever score. So I went treble 20, treble 20 and got a 20.

That's good. I don't know about dolls for that. I was guessing that might have been how it was. Yeah, because if you talk to people who play darts, they go, and how did you get to that? Well, you know, how did you do whatever it was? So I thought I might just say. I was playing darts in this pub.

I used to drinking regularly when I was about 16. And I threw this dart, it bounced off the wire. It went right across the bar. And Treve the Ted used to stand at the bar. And he was one of those folks who would have one foot on its toe. Do you know what I mean? So you know, they're starting with one leg straight and one foot. And he said, look, when a horse sleeps and he went in the shoe.

Oh, that's great. And he was quite, you know, he was a dangerous man. I managed to talk him around. Was he a teddy boy? I think he was a former teddy boy. So he still had the quiff. And just whatever he wore, the trousers seemed to automatically tighten and the jacket seemed to automatically lengthen.

He had teddy boy. so deep in his DNA that his clothes changed by osmosis. Yeah, 12th the 10. Nice bloke when he wasn't... He sounds lovely. You've had some lovely friends over the years. Yeah, well, I don't know if he was a frostbos.

He was an acquaintance. He was a drinking friend. Are they a bit different, would you say the drink? How would you define the drinking friend? Look, when you stop drinking, you never want to see them again. Really? Yeah. Do you only see them at the pub then?

I never go to the pub anymore. No, no, but when you were younger, when you were drinking, would you just go to see them at the pub? Yeah, but I was, I could go into, there was three or four pubs I could go in, and there would be like 20 people in there who I could spend the night with. How lovely.

Now I am desperately lonely outside my own family unit. But, you know, you're cor have anything. No, never mind, I'll do that again in the post. Oh, we don't do post. No. What else you've been up to Apart from winning? Did you celebrate with raised arms?

I did, but we also celebrated I didn't know this was going to happen and I don't think it was anything to do with me winning but it finished the game and everyone was really happy And then all of a sudden this tray of chips Appeared like the ambassador's reception It was a pile of chips

Just on the tray I took a picture if you want to put it on the socials Yeah, a big tray of chips just appeared But was there a plate? No, you had to eat it like eating from the trough I love that. So, hang on, what was the tray like? Well, we'll see, we'll see.

Just like a silver tray, like the ambassador's research. Oh, I love that they give you the tray of chips. These are my people, these dance people. Yeah, it was really good. It sounds trebonne. French jokes. The Pond de Tere, De Freit. Oh, yeah?

Oh. But then I played someone else after. Oh, you shouldn't have done that. Why? That should have, you'd won your game. But this is a. about something else. Okay.

It's not about me winning or losing. It's about how you play the game. Okay. So I played someone else after and they were asking me what I did for a job and I said,

I'm a comedy writer and I'm writing a few sitcoms and he said, what's your favourite sitcom then? Straight away, obviously. I said, Blue Heaven, Shane. Shane, do you ever been released? It's not even my favourite sitcom.

It's certainly not mine. Well, anyway, he said something like everyone would say, which is the office American. He said that. A lot of people say that. And what would I say?

I've never seen it. You'd say Superstore. Of course I would. There's a character in Superstore, which is the best sitcom of all time. Yes. There's a character in it who I managed to find a funk. He's called Garret. I managed to find a Fonco pop of him and got me.

Did you order it? Oh. Yeah. A Superstore Fonko. That's mad because you would never get a Rene from a low-a-low funcop-op, would you? No. Mr. Brittes one. No.

And I don't think you'd get it ain't half-hot my media, which is probably for the best. A Frank Spencer? There's a hell of a lot wrong with that show. We didn't know. We thought it was okay. I apologise on behalf of them. But if you got one of those talking dolls of Renna, of course it only worked once, then you'd have to throw it away.

Oh, for God's sake. Because he always said, oh, I know, I'm explaining it to room. I know. And the thing is, I did know that. But I was thinking of Vicky Michelle, you know? Yeah. I'm always thinking. I'm not really. Of course, this is not. I'm not. It's a nice thing. No, I know. It was a good joke.

I met her about 12 months ago. She seems very pleasant. And he loved a pencil skirt and a tight blouse. Because that was the 70s sexy. Pencil skirt and a tight blouse. That's all you needed. You were good to go. And about sheer tight. No, but she, remember, she was, she dwelt in Nazi-occupied France.

Well, she didn't really, she didn't really dwell in that. She did in that outfit. No, but they still in the 70s, they still made it look, it was a 70s idea of Nazi-occupied France. You'll find if you look back, the fashions are all geared towards what men like then. Thank you. Okay. Okay.

I watched a documentary bit, Alo, hello, it's very good. I'm just saying, you're not trying to find it. It's really funny. Yeah, I look. I find it low and low a bit like people who have put on chill music. I watch it and I find it really therapeutic. Oh, yeah. I felt so good after watching the, I felt really happy and brilliant.

The comedy about the war. Yeah. It's just, you know, not just the war, but Nazi occupied France. The Fall of Madonna with the big boobies. Yeah. It's good stuff. It's, I mean, it reflects opinions and attitudes from a different. and time, as they always say, before it comes on.

I didn't. That's a bit triggering for me. Because when I was on holiday in Turkey once, there were two cafe owners, and I'm afraid that's what they used to call me. Oh. Called you what? Madonna with the big poobies.

Did they? That's true. They didn't know, Frank. Did you have a little microphone, not least in a basque? Like when I heard of Madonna. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I see. Yeah. I was thinking of the classic 80s look, you know. Yeah, no, you're right. You know what Frank says about the... I mean, it's not necessarily funny, Ruth, but it is right. No, I always used to say, and they've got one of those Madonna microphones, or as young people say, microphones.

Anyway, what's been at Al Fresco? Oh, in the outside world? Oh. Well, we've got a few here. 3-28 has got in touch with us. Got in touch with them. Why should I say it like that? I don't know, I'm soaked.

Like Adam Kay on the podcast. Did we ever find that, Jaycloth? Oh, that was for Adam Kay. We had on the podcast and he couldn't say the word you said. Look, if they didn't fucking listen, fuck them. Carry on. Carry on. I'm not explaining the last, if it's like 10 years ago.

Yeah. But the last podcast, keep up. No, we're not doing previously. There could be a new, somebody could be listening to this for the first time. Oh, yeah. Hello, welcome. Bye. They've gone.

It's all right. Apologies about the Nazi content. What was it? I think the Nazis are. I think it's not. They're treated in a negative way. The more I hear about them. What do you mean? What you're lamenting that.

On their low-o-low. Oh, I see. I thought you would lamenting. It's not a celebration. 3-28 has gone in touch, guys. I remember you used to like hearing about the names of tribute app, Frank, with the classic being, can you remember? Chenaya Twin. Very good.

I saw a poster for one at the weekend called, wait for this, Adele of a tribute. Oh, what do you think of? Oh, you don't like it. I'm not sure about it. It's a bit lot. It's got the word tribute in it as well.

Don't rob their fucking noses in it. Do you know what I mean? They want to believe that some part of you when you see a tribute band wants to believe it's Adele. I'm sure you could come up with a better one. I'm going to leave you with that. Addled. I don't like Adults.

Adul's horrible. Adold is all mixed up for now, which is what, you know, she's mixed, she's intertwined with one of her

celebrators. Ruth, what do you think? I'm trying to think of one. Because it's, Adele of a tribute makes you form like a full sentence. There could be another Adel of,

but not tribute. Okay. Yeah. Okay. A dell of a show. Yeah. Well, it's better than tribute.

I think you're both right. Yeah. Look, I just like the effort that was made. No, I don't get wrong. I'm not condemning. And she might be a fabulous Adele. Yeah. That's all I'm saying.

Okay. Giles has also been in touch. Oh, not about his jumpers. How dare? I got a real ice one. Get long. Get off me. No, but the new one, Yuri.

Get off me. Anyway, carry on. I'm very good friends with King Charles. Did you know that? I never talk about it. No. He does know a lot of people, Charles Brandrethus. He does.

Very well connected. I mean, he's well connected. Anyway, Giles has got in touch, not that, Giles. You were talking recently about stag-dos. We were having a conversation not long ago about those. Were we? At Bristol Airport yesterday, I was witness to a bearded young man in a wedding dress,

fighting with the gale to prevent his blow-up sex at the whole from going the way of his dignity. They take these with them on the stag-dos now. It's part of the whole thing. You've probably seen it, really. He looked utterly miserable. While I imagine that the pioneers of such antics back in the day must have been greeted at checking with nervous giggles,

surely the 10,000th groom to undergo this ritual is destined to be spending his weekend sailing a sea of cringe. I could feel nothing but pity. How can we save today's youth from drowning in cliché amid the rocks of derision? That's from giant. Wow, that's lot. think that is Josh Fran.

Well, one thing, of course, is on his way back from the Stagdue. A Bristol-Level. That doll will have a bit of ballast to keep it grounded. Really? But, no, I met the bloke. I was in Manchester and a guy said, Frank, Frank, can I get a selfie with you? And he got a top hat and like a posh thing.

and had a big bag of money. Mr Monopoly? It was Mr Monopoly. That's what he was... He was spending... It wasn't really. Yeah, he was spending his entire stagged as Mr. Monopoly. I said I fucking hate Monopoly.

Oh, dear it, I know it. Oh, God, it's the worst game ever invented. Do you? But I still did a photo. Did you? What's he called? Mr. Moneybags? A money bags, Mr. Moneybags, is it?

Is that what he's called? That's his name. Oh, yeah. That's all right. You see millionaireism. That's what I call you. Still do that. Not that long ago at Kings Cross,

I saw some people dressed as like knights with the St George flag. Oh, yeah. And I thought, oh, Stag do, but it was a Tommy Robinson match. Oh, they did, what they cosplay of Tommy Robinson mark? They got like chain mail and stuff and other fans. Oh, do they? It's like England's, you know. Chain mail, man, that is fucking easy.

It's difficult. Have you ever picked any off? I remember when my gig was a lot. My kid was about eight. I put a chain mail on him. He just dropped to the floor. Why is a ton? They were probably wearing fancy dress chain mail,

which would have been made out of stag. Well, I don't know. It might be handy. No, it would have been made out of brillo pads or something. It's so depressing. They would have got them. Scourers. No, but if there were students with like, you know, blow pipes or something,

they'd have been glad of real chain mail. So what? Do they have that? Oh. So what were they wearing the chainel with the white tabard? Yeah, the look. I do know the look, but I think it's a real shame that they're appropriating it. Because the dungeons and dragons and the cosplayers,

I would say they're a lovely benign community, and I don't want them to get mixed up for these types. Well, I like the idea of one of them saying, I think I forgot my charger, and then a horse comes down the corner. Anyway, that is Charles's view on Stagg. Do's do you have? I think, yeah, I think they are.

But I think weddings the same. Do you? The speeches and all that and all that bollocks. They're always, you know, just make people stressed. And then they drink more because they're stressed about the speeches. And then the best man gets up and tells all terrible stories about, you know, sexual activities and violence they're going involved with with the groom. Violence.

It is. Have you ever given a best man's speech, right? I have. How did it go? I bet you'd be the dream, don't you think, Ruth? He'd be the dream. I'd pay him for the speech. I think...

You must have been a good booking. I think it went all right. Was this back in the day or post-fame? Now back in the day, yeah. Oh, no one's had you post-fame. I think I've done one post-fame, but I basically, I don't like wedding as much. Did you not have a stag-do?

Did you not have a stag-do before you married Kath? Yeah, I had two. him toes and the fruit and not bar. No, what can I have on my steak? What are they doing? If you need to celebrate your last night of freedom, why are you giving up freedom in the first place? I think that, yeah.

Yeah. I think you ate your wife. Yeah, of course, that's what you're saying. Not just your wife, women. That's what I'm saying. To gay men and gay women, do they have celebratory? Do you know, I suspect they don't? Last nights of freedom.

Yeah. I mean, you'll celebrate your last night of freedom. Yeah. Fuck. Don't do it. Why are you doing it? If you feel like that, you've got to get absolutely, you've got to dress as Mr. Monty back.

And only men are allowed. And you've got to have a plastic woman, and you've got to get so drunk you can't remember. And then your friends will pull your trousers and pants off and turn you to a lamppost. Why do they handcuff them to the lamp? And then so at the wedding, when they're married, they'll think, oh God. You know what?

I miss when I was bottomless and chained to a lamp post. Those were the days compared to this. Compared to this. I thought at the time it was humiliating, but compared to this. Can I say I don't think anything of the sort? No. Okay. Well, Giles, it seems like we're in agreement with you when it comes to stag.

Enough. Yeah. I don't know what happens at hen parties. I just see women we like learn. of L plates. I had a mate who had three hendos once. Really? And now she's divorced.

Did she know them? Did she know them? Oh, God. She was in Gower on a holiday. They're really lavish things now. Back in my day, when my friends were getting married, it was quite straightforward. It was one night out. Now, minimum four-day mini break.

Well, I used to hang out in Brighton a lot. Get over it. I used to see the hen do's at the weekend. And you used to get like three or four like young women in PVC nurse outfits and then like Auntie Lil forced to wear a PVC. Oh, Auntie Lil. Oh, so cruel. Like an elastic band on a borg scratching.

Frank? Made to wear this thing. Please. No, but I thought, let Auntie Lil off with the fucking. I'd refuse to do it. But also, I think she was just reassured there were nurses around. Really?

I think Auntie Lill wants to do it. Do you? Yeah, do, yeah. They get involved. I know. They all look really tired now. The mom and the aunties are fucking exhausted. And it's like you see them at half nine at night,

you think, oh, do you? You got another four or five hours? But they do tend not. to handcuffed them to the lamp post. I know, nothing like that. The worst you'll have is the Dickie Sippers. What's that? Penis straws.

Oh, yes, the penis straws. I've seen those. I don't know how they get them down there. Frank. What? Honestly. I can't. What else?

It's become very ribald, hasn't it? I'll tell you what. Speaking of ribald, I saw FCA tweaks last week. At the O-2. How was it? She's a bit who baby, isn't she? Well, she is... Who's she married to Robert Pattinson?

No, that's the other one. She dated him briefly. I don't know. I don't look up stuff like that. I'm there for the music. You don't have to look it up to know that piece of information. Well, I didn't know. Auntie Lil.

I didn't know. I don't know who she's married to. She was with him. She's not. She was with Shia Label. Oh, are we going to define her by a male partners? Yep. Oh, sorry.

I didn't know. You were going to do that. Someone who should have taught me how to research. I'm just making it clear to you where does it know. Tell me about how she wore. Well, it was, Katz was very excited to go because FCA Twigs is from Cheltenham where my wife is on. Oh, I didn't know that phone.

You know, any, we all have these allegiances for sorts. It's like when I see Jude Bellingham play well. I think, oh, Sturbridge. I love it. And George Four Acres, in fact. You both have that, and I have that about North London, because no one comes out of there who does what. Well, you don't know one from North London,

Mexican show business. It's almost as if being born in, that's got massive advantages, people from other parts of the country down here. How dare you? I've told you, my dad had to make at least two phone calls to his friends. No, fair enough.

I accept that. Did it the hard way, yeah. Anyway. It was a, I mean, it was a spectacular show. I tell you what? And this is one of the good things, one of the few good things about getting old, is that she pole dances.

quite a lot. And you know pole dancing, you think, whee, but when you're sort of libido's drained out and you watch, you think, fucking impressive pole dancing. I mean, she's virtually horizontal at times, just on arm strength. And I thought, I've never,

it's never struck me that pole dancing is actually a real physical feat. Can I say I love that you're appreciating it in that way. You are now officially, as I believe, didn't George Melly refer to it? You're off what he called the runaway horse. Exactly, exactly. And it's a tremendous relief and cheaper. Yeah, I mean, you know, firemen, they waste those poles. They never stop halfway down and go horizontal.

Did they just kick their boots off? Or she was doing that thing when you just hold on with your legs. Oh, that's amazing. A lot of upper body strength as well, these poles. And also the most incredible voice, I don't know. if you're familiar with her work. No, I only know about Charler, Beth, Matt Healy and Robert Fassel.

Yeah, well, her voice is amazing. But it was a very, it was a sexy show. Yeah. And I'm a bit of all for that stuff. She had these men dancing. And they look, you know, you see people with amazing physiques. It looked like another step after that.

They were absolutely like perfection, these blocs. But they had very skimpy sort of sweat pant type, too skimpy for my liking. And it was very, I got upset. Did you? I'm not saying they were aroused or anything, but some blood had definitely entered the support struts.

Oh, goodness, me. I think this is why they call it semi-nudity. Yes, she's very what I call like an ooh sex performer All of her songs are very sexy Like Sabrina Carpenter But she's sexy Very sexy But you know

I mean it's obviously it's what your youth want But it jogged my memory a bit And the audience I have to say This was what was unusual Because I obviously I've been to lots of football matches and that And just the theatre in general now, you expect a certain amount of hostility and unpleasantness from people. It was so lovely her audience.

Young, very young, but I texted the tour manager as Omar, who's my two manager, which is why I was there initially. And I said to him, this audience is so nice. I feel that if I fell, someone would catch me. And it honestly felt like that. It made me think that maybe wearing fish nets makes you feel aligned to the great fisher of Galilee, a more peaceful, loving person.

All right, frank and furtter. There was lots of fish nets. Never had such an excuse for wearing fish nets in my life. It was the whole audience wearing fish nets. So just... Well, lots of, lots of the girls. They're back, aren't they? They've come back in a big way. Circus chic.

But I tell you what they weren't wearing, which I struck me, because I go to a lot of rock music gigs. I didn't see much merch. Interesting. They were selling merch, but I think it must go in the handbag for later. Whereas at the rock gigs, it goes on over the t-shirt. They're wearing. Most rock gigs as well, people have got previous.

Yes. You could do, if you could organise it, you could go to, a rock. Say if I went to see Iron Maiden, I could get a bunch of blogs to line up. Ginger, two to the left, and I could do a time scale. Is that what they call it when you get like a timeline? A timeline. I could do a timeline with all these plugs lined up in T-shirts of all the Iron Maiden gigs. It'd be brilliant. But also they favour those fans, a more leisure wear. They favour a hoodie and a t-shirt,

whereas it sounds like a... No, they were pretty immaculate her crowd. That's what I mean, whereas your rocksters like a hoodie. Yeah, they'd made an effort, definitely. But they were a very, very wild enthusiastic crow, but it just was a lesson for a man of my age is they were still talking,

taking photos of each other, doing selfies, going out, coming back, wandering around talking in groups while it was on, while still totally loving it. And of course, I've got to absolutely focus to do that. And they seem to be like, they were like those, you know those European plug adapters? It's like conversation was in one hole,

the phone was in the other, and the gig was in the other, and all were equally charged. Yeah. It was an education, I must say. But check her out. from Cheltenham, you know. Yeah?

You're so proud of that fact. Well, it's nothing to do with me, Chalternam. Somebody tell me, and this could be wrong, if it's wrong, forgive me. Somebody told me your parents was from the black country. Have you ever heard that route? I haven't. I haven't. I'll be looking that up.

You guys are always trying to claim them. You've got Jude Bellingham. Can you not be happy with that? It's when my dad said Mohammed Ali was Catholic. My dad said Jesus was, like to smoke and a drink and was a good. good laugh. Okay. Well, really, you know, when I was a kid, I would always say to, I would always say to my dad,

because he knew a lot of people in TV, I'd say, I had two questions I'd ask, I'd look like Terry Wogan or something. I'd say, is he rich and does he like children? Now, the second question did get complicated. I wish more people would ask that. It's a Frank Skinner podcast. I knew when the change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast.

I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.