The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: Blackpool

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

We’re in 2010 for the Best Bits and the team are in Blackpool for the George Formby convention. Frank’s resentful about his medal from Sport Relief, there’s careers advice and our guest is Chris Ramsey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Enjoy. We're going to spend the day in Blackburn. Blackpool. So we're not in our normal studio. So there's a slight sense of, I don't know which button to press. We're all looking a bit panicky at each other and can't hear each other. But I think the audience like that. Well, exactly. I do like to be beside the seaside. Do you? We love Blackpool. Yes, it's different. We should explain why we're actually here, Frank, shouldn't we? Oh, no, I can't be bothered with that.

So, yes, we're here because I'm doing a documentary about George Formby. and the George Formby Convention is in Blackpool this week. I thought it was George Foreman, so I was looking forward to getting a free grill, but there you go. No, I'm sorry. But I've got this with me. This is my ukulean.

I've got to play this in front of the convention, and they are, I mean, they are aficionadios, right? They know every note that George plays, so I am quite nervous about it. Oh, you'll be fine. No, really, though. With me little stick of Blackpole Rock Down the promenade I stroll

It might get sticky But I never complain It's nice to have a new ball at it now and again You see where he's coming from, George Rage Against the Machine have covered that Have they? Well, I won't be downloading that this Christmas, I don't think Yeah, so I've been there

I met the mayor of Blackpool Did you? You're always hanging out with a mayor somewhere or other Yeah, I've met a few mays. It's a bit like like being a goat it's meh this and so what happened with the mayor it was an interesting conversation

but in some way it's traumatic they're building a thing and it's really expensive it's called the comedy carpet oh I like the sound of that and the comedy carpet is this enormous thing on the headland it kept saying it's up on the headland

I don't know what that means but anyway I kept saying yes yes Mr Mayor I called him Mr Mayor which was brilliant and apparently what it is It's a tribute to British comedy. So it's loads of jokes done by various comedians.

And then you just wander around this. It's granite slabs. It's not really carpet. Oh, it's not actual carpet outside. No, no. No, I don't think I'd have. I thought I said I'd be happy to qualify for the comedy underfelt. But no, I'm on it.

Are you? We were talking about it because George Formby is on it. But it turns out that I'm on it as well. And they've selected a joke to represent my entire career. So you just get one joke on there. And that tells you, tells people everything about you and who you are. What is the joke? So the joke they've chosen is people say dogs are intelligent,

but I never trust an animal that is surprised by its own farts. That will represent. my career for generations to come. I would have said you've got stronger bits. Well, yeah, I'd have thought so. Well, I'd have said so, definitely. But that's it, that's what, I don't know. And I said to the mayor, who chose this, Mr. Mayor?

And he said, oh, well, I couldn't tell you that. So that's it. So when you go up there, don't be too shocked that that is right. That's on the comedy carpet. Oh, is it there now? Well, it will be there. That's why I said when you go up there. So there was a sense of future tense about the whole thing.

If you choose to ignore that, then that's how you get that confusion. When I was coming in in the car this morning, I had a radio station. I think it was Magic FM, some of the bloke. So we got a, it started by saying, we got a great show for you this morning. And I thought, I never do that because I don't really know. No. It might be not that good, right? And then I don't want to lie to people.

You can't preempt it. No, you can't. We'll have to say it. At the end, maybe. We can have a debriefing. So speaking of grudges, Gareth, I'm sorry to announce. of our listeners. We've been very anxious about whether or not you won the best new

co-backed in their thousands. Yeah. So the Chaucer Awards were this week and as you haven't mentioned it. No. You can read into that. I didn't win but then I don't tend to win things so I'm used to it. I don't know, you won the competition that got this job. That's true.

Say why you would like to work with Frank Skinner in 40 words. Yeah, exactly. There were that many. Or left, you went for your last option. Just lots of pleases. Yeah, no, it was, I was so nervous. I felt absolutely sick. It's a really big deal for comedians, isn't it?

Chortle, there's a website. I don't know if people know about it. But I am, I, so I was just clinging to the people I knew at first. And then I decided. You're physically clinging? Yes, physically clinging. Like hungry bear? Nervous.

And then I thought, maybe I should go around and talk. talk to some people, you know, because it's... That's not like you at all. I was going to say that's always nice at a social event talking to people. Yeah. That tends to stand face in the war. Well, Daisy makes me do that. So tell us what happened then.

Who did you speak to? Who won? Well, I'll answer the first question. Okay. The first person I spoke to was a lovely man called James Kettle, who is a comedian. But now he mostly, I think, like, writes reviews and stuff for The Guardian. So he does like the comedy suggestions

bit in the Guardian newspaper. What I like about James Kettle is if you keep an eye on him, he never ever loses his temper. Oh. So he's a comic turned critic. That's interesting. Yeah. I bet he's like it's like a tall bitter.

And I had... So what did the kettle have to say? Well, I thought I had quite a nice chat with him. And just talking. And so I chatted to him and said, oh, I'd better go and talk to some other people. And he goes, oh, no, I wouldn't do that if I were you. He said, you seem a bit sort of weird and tipsy I had a glass of wine

But I'd had a couple of sips I was on my first glass of wine And you said, yeah, I wouldn't talk to anyone else if I were You seem a bit weird and tipsy Oh, that's a bad review Yes, I mean, in fact he was reviewing your conversation It's not good So yeah, I completely lost confidence

Well, you would lose confidence after that Ran back to some people I knew But there were some, like Eddie Isard was there Amanda, he knew he got an award Was he running? Was he all? holding a flag and running, Eddie. He can't stop now? Oh, Eddie, can I just stop running? I'm imagining that's how the kettle talks. I'm calling him the kettle.

But it was nice. As the evening went on, I just found people I liked and hang out with them, and it was lovely. You avoided the kettle, is what you're saying. I wish I'd gone on, I only went to the kick-ass premiere with Brad Pitt. Anyway, I think on that note. Chris Ramsey has entered the studio. Woo! Good morning, Chris. And he's wearing, as young men often do nowadays, he's wearing a woolly hat.

When I put it on, I thought he's going to have something to say about this. Well, when you look through the hatchway of the door, I thought, oh, pizza? No, it's the guest. If I was your age, I'd wear a woolly hat. It's very fashionable. I've noticed things. I just don't, you know, I don't feel right to join in.

As soon as I put it on, I thought, yeah, this is going to be a talking point, sadly. I like it in a sort of X-Factor auditionee way Oh no That's exactly the look I was going for So Chris Well where do I begin You are about to do an Edinburgh show Yeah the first one yeah

That's your first one-man show So what have you done previously in Edinburgh then Have you sort of joined it on others Yeah well I did the comedy zone last year Well I believe I believe Gareth Richards did that very show I thought I recognised that man I did before he's done with me. Of course I did, yeah, it was great.

And is it all fabulous camaraderie and comedy mateship? Definitely, yeah. It was a bit awkward when at first, Gav's quite quiet. And when I'm with someone quiet, I tend to overcompensate and talk loads, just total verbal diarrhea. And, yeah, I think, does he know about the jacket? He must know about the jacket.

I think what should we say about it? Let's talk about the jacket. I mean, Garret is weird and tipsy. He said, don't feel bad at the conversation. Well, that's even bad. Yeah, well, the quietness put it up with that, it just sent me into all that. Yes, I think the quietness is the symptom.

So what's with the jacket? Well, I will, for the comedy zone, I wore a lovely blue jacket for most of them. When you say lovely? Yeah, it is lovely. You've seen it. Yeah, I know. I think she has.

That's why I should give that we are. For our first preview of it, we went into the dressing room, and I went straight in, hung the jacket up, and then Chris walked in. what happened then Christopher I thought it had just been left there and I walked in it all right

I was just trying to look at this jacket who'd wear a jacket like that look at it's from the past what kind of an idiot wears a jacket like that and then he started saying oh it's mine and I thought he was whining us up I was well of course it is

and I started like putting it on and then he's like look can I please have my jacket back the slaves of it unbelievable it was unbelievable I was so I was mortified it's one of the moments where you know when you remember something embarrassing

and you make it involuntary noise, you go like, ah, I do it. If I remember it, I make a noise, it was tragic, but I think, yeah, I think it made a strong bond. Yes, but, I mean, have you forgiven him, Gareth? Because I know you're a man to bear a grudge. Yeah, no, never on.

No, no, I'm leaving. I feel like we've got the twins in the back of the car, thank you. Yes, can you reach back and slap one of them and tell them to, sure not. And tell them we'll be there in a minute and they can't have a drink of water. Yeah. Ow! So, Chris, it's a big step.

Isn't it the first one man? Yeah, it's terrifying, yeah. I go through days of some days, I sit and I look at it all, and I think, yeah, this is going to be brilliant. And then the next day I look at the same stuff, and I think, what am I thinking? This is going to be absolutely terrible. It goes from days of being terrified

to days of being really chuffed with it. It's really strange. That's comedy. Obviously Edinburgh is in August. So what state to you, I'm interested to know? Well, because it's the first one, I kind of had the idea for it before I even did the comedy zone.

so I've sort of been building the stuff up for a little while. What is the idea for it? The show is called agoraphobic, not agrafobic. Right. Agoraphobic. Oh, I thought it was a spelling mistake when I saw it. Yeah, that's what, I might get hyphenated because everyone's thinking that. I'm just some kind of idiot.

My spell check doesn't work on my PC. Yeah, it's basically, it's about sort of just different situations that I get in where I'm quite, even though I say things like at the Gareth, I am quite sort of out in public and in the street, I'm quite sort of standoff. If someone comes up to ask for directions, I immediately just think he's going to hit us. It's like, I'm just, you know what I mean? Yeah.

So it's about that and different situations around that. That can happen in the North East, though. Yeah, it happens a lot. I remember my dad got in one night, and he was about 61 at the time, and all his hand was swollen up, and I said, what's happened? He said, some guy come up to me and said, have you got the time? He said, I'm not falling for that one. I said, what did you do?

He said, I hit him, he went over a garden. you said that's what they do is so they say you like the time then when you look down they the new one apparently what I heard the other day the new one is someone will come up and ask you for directions

and then when you go oh I'll just check Google Maps and you whip your iPhone out of bump they've got your iPhone that's the new one apparently well I can understand I think that I think you deserve that

you should check Google Maps what if I go up to someone and say excuse me but who's Gertrude chilling now sell then I'll just Google it I mean, is that how it works? By the way, I don't send it. That happened to me on the Wii here, actually.

I can't believe it. Yeah, exactly. They always say Gertrude Schilling. Always. What they need, they need, they need to braw them their catchment area, because people who are getting on to the Gertrude Schilling thing. Can I say that Gertrude Schilling used to be an old lady that wore elaborate outfits every Astros. Hats, specifically, yes.

Specifically hats, but elaborate outfits. If that her act has been completely stolen by Lady Gargoth. It was based the entire act on Ladies' Day, Ascot The Twisted The Twisted The Ways Away The Face

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as well. Oh, great. We had mid-rifery, which is a bit like midwifery, and because we riff is the idea, we riff on themes. We had something for the weekdays. Yeah, something for the weekdays, I like that one. We had even more frank.

I quite like that one. Yeah, I think that's definitely in the frame. Next week we have to met, definitely decided. I think we'll say that entries are still open. Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. Okay, so. I was thinking, I thought of ten jokes, none of which I could turn. Yes, I know. So, yeah, I'll tell you what I did read, and that was career's advice, apparently, isn't very good in this country.

And there's been study of it, and people have been given quite a lot of bad career's advice. I once went to the Careers Advice office in Aston in Birmingham. I did an interview who lasted about, I'd say about seven minutes with the guy. And he said, I'll be honest with you. I can't think of any organisation that you'd be a help to. Is that what he said? He said, off the record, I suggest you stay unemployed as long as you possibly. He didn't.

He honestly did, I swear that. Is there any organisation you have been a help to? Well, I think St John's Ambulance. I bought them a couple of shoulder bags for garden, for fay to work, you know. So should eat his words. See, I didn't really get careers advice. The sort of young ladies' school I went to,

they said, what are you looking for, a lawyer, a doctor? It was what profession would you like your future husband to do? And did you have books on your head? Yeah, I once did, I did teacher training for a while as well. and I spoke to the headmaster of the school at the end of it and he said, I'm worried about you. He said, you're obviously not. You don't want to be a teacher.

You're not happy doing that. He said, he says, you're one of these people. He said, I've thought this a few times during the course of the last six weeks. He said, you're one of these people who could very easily end up being a tramp. Can you believe that? That was your career prospects at school, tramp. Yeah. Well, I had just gone,

I know, we're going to get it, you were sort of a tramp for about 10 years. I was a, well, yes, but I mean, when he told me that I had a suit and tie on, for goodness sake. Wow. No shoes and socks or shirt and a very big beard. Yeah. Oh, it was so, mine wasn't good. A bloke at school gave me a brochure on careers in the film industry because I told him I was in a pop group. That's the kind of help.

And they thought, if the pop group goes really well, maybe you could think, well, I'm going to try acting. That's quite... Hang on, let's not gloss over that. What do you mean you're in a pop group? Well, I was in that. You know, we played local pops and stuff. Yeah.

What, on the ukule? No, no, I wasn't on the ukule. I was just on lead vocals in those things. You weren't. It was called Old English, it was called, named after the side. Well, I never knew. Very close to my heart.

Oh. Yeah, so, yeah. Did you get career's advice? I did. We had to fill in this long questionnaire and a computer, like, generated ideas. Oh, you see, you're a generation on from me. With me, it was just a man in a room. Yeah. But I didn't know. I think I was doing my GCSEs, and I didn't know that I would be able to go to university. I assumed I wouldn't. Oh, I imagine most people did. Yeah. And I think it said something like Landscape Gardner.

That's what I came up with something like that, which I have never done. Well, I think so many jobs nowadays, like... So the computer said you should be a landscape gardener. You'd be good with sort of trees. Yeah, deciding where trees go. Not talking to people. Yeah. So keep away from...

I said, don't talk to anyone. Don't talk to anyone else. That was a result of the survey. I think you should have that on a tattoo as a little reminder. There was an advert in this week, actually. It said that there's a story saying that they'd been advertising. the job centre had placed an advert for a position on the Wall of Death

as a fairground in Battersea which I thought was quite a weird job to advertise. Anything? Wall of death, that's the one on the motorcycle, isn't it? Yeah, it's the one where you have to drive really, really fast and then you just can literally go up the wall. You'd think there was a bit of skill involved, I mean. Have you seen anyone do it, though?

I've seen a wall of death. I'll tell you what they do. When they go past, because you lean over, and when they go past, they wiggle the front wheel a little bit, so they look to frighten you. But if you can really do it, why don't people do that in traffic jams then? Like on the Blackwall Tunnel or something,

why wouldn't you just go up the side of it? I don't believe that you can do it. I've never seen it. You could go above the speed camera. Yeah. That would be... Yeah, but the thing is, I wouldn't want to be going to watch the wall of death

when the new person was having their first go. Because he might just go straight up the wall like a cat up a curtain. Yeah. And land in your arms. Yeah, this is my first go. you practice? That's the thing. How do you have a go? Yeah. Maybe you start on a push bike. Yeah. I think probably the fact that there's a situation vacant tells you about how

dangerous the job is. Well, I don't know. I suppose the black just got fed up and going round and round. It is weird. There must be some training method in which you, I suppose at first you do start on the floor and you go just like around the skirting board. Maybe they're stabilisers. Yeah, a really big, like one on the left-hand side, a 20-foot stabilisation. So you go around like that. Perhaps it's like, you know, when they train horses and the man in the middle, like a long league on it? There's a helmet with just a big coaster

that comes off to the side and the helmet has a big wheel on. A coaster? Do I mean a coaster? Like a chair was on coasters. No, like you'd put a chair on, you know, the wheels on the bottom. I was thinking more sort of toddler rains

was what I was thinking of. Well, if you got someone really swinging, though, on a road, they'd go around anyone they wouldn't need the motorbike. They go around on their knees. I'm glad the job centres advertising careers like this. Yeah, my mum worked in a job centre in Penn's Ants

and there was a job going for a human cannonball. It was a real actual job? Yeah, honestly. But that's not that skillful or wouldn't I thought, is it? Because you're just getting the cannon and then... Hope for the best. Well, it's the one job that you can be fired from and be quite successful.

But there's no skill to that. You just, as long as you keep your arms very close to your sides. Yeah. Because that's what would worry. What worry means, I'd get in the cannon, and then I'd hold my hands with the fingers pointing upwards. So then when I was fired out, it would rip all of my fingernails out. That's what would worry me.

It's the sort of job where the training is, you get in, and a guy goes, go limp. And then lights the fuse. I'd go in head first, so I could maybe land in an arm chip. See, my favourite job centre moment was I was walking past the job centre once, and I saw someone pull up outside in a black cab. and be the driver. Thank you.

Thank you so much. And then they walked into the job centre. And I thought, I bet that's a relative of mine. I loved that person who did that. I was at the social security once signing on. A man came in to sign on, and he was completely covered in coal dust. And there was a big coal van outside.

He's clearly working on the side. And he came in, signed on. It was left dirt everywhere. Are he holding a tereneery? I don't think he was a minor. And then, yeah. So clearly working on the side and not challenged in any way. We were in Blackpool last week, of course.

And you never told me about the train journey. Gareth hinted bad behaviour, but it was left at that. What for me? Well, the train journey with Emily, it was a wonderful experience. Well, at first, it was fraught at the start because it was really busy a Friday afternoon. It was really busy, and we didn't have... seats and Emily was getting

very cross about the fact we didn't have seats and she's like, I'm going down the aisle and a guy just turned around and said first class is that way Really? Yeah, he just assumed Yeah He actually said that

Emily looked confused and bewildered and he just assumed she was looking proud of the class Yeah, yeah I was delighted when he said that and then, well there were no seats so then someone pointed towards the corridor Do I look corridor to you? Well, I mean it's not very good for the brown

said, I will not sit in a corridor. I did not sit in a corridor. I did not sit in a corridor. I did say that. I did. I was wearing a Burberry trench coat. I can't sit in a corridor. So then we did get to first class.

We didn't have first class tickets, but there weren't any seats anywhere else. So Emily, Emily said I would just sit in first class and style it out, but you're not into that, are you? Style it out. That's exactly what I said. And I get so nervous about that sort of thing.

I just think I'm going to get caught. You're going to get the reverse reaction. Someone's going to say, second classes. I have never styled anything out in my whole life. No. So we sat down in first class. Oh, you did it? Yeah, we did it. I felt immediately at ease. He was so tense.

He was actually like someone was going to come around and say, papers, please. He was absolutely... Well, you were wearing a burberry trench coat. It wasn't like a scene from Casablanca. With dark glasses on. A trench coat and dark glasses. You didn't have dark glasses on, did you?

I had aviators. Yeah, and so we're sitting there And then I hear the voice Tickets please And my heart is beating like a drum all of a sudden I didn't even notice I'm terrified And Emily just sort of looks at me as if say leave it to me

And so the lady came over And Emily gave a ticket and said Oh yeah sorry We sat here because there weren't any seats anywhere else And I'm just not feeling very well and rubbed her tummy and the lady just looked at her confused and said oh no this section has been declassified anyway

so anyone can sit here and then everybody went oh was that good news or fact this well I wanted to get up and move I thought like that show marks I didn't want to be there anymore so yeah so it was fraught with problems but it was all a happy story

I got to sit in first class Gareth got to experience life on the other side It was great. We were all happy. When I came, I came up on my own on the train. And they know they bring, in first class, which I was in, might I have. Oh, thank God. They bring free tea and refreshments. And the woman said to me, would you like a millionaire cake?

And I thought, oh, they've done that just for me as a bit of a tribute. But I don't think they had. It was lovely. I love a bit of train travel. Oh, yeah. Lord off. So Frank, tell us about sport relief. Well, I did what they call the sport relief mile. But I did six miles.

And I was a bit resentful that my medal said, Frank Skinner, no, he didn't say Frank Skinner. It said, I've run the sport relief mile. And I thought, well, shouldn't I get a better medal than the people have done that? Or six of them. Yeah. Anyway, we got goodie bags at the end. And I thought, well, that's good because I've done the run.

And, you know, I've earned a goodie bag. It's the worst goodie bag. Oh, no. I mean... Well, I got a goodie bag for the Chortle Awards, so you will have a goodie bag off because that was pretty bad. I bet I bet I'd beat. What was in your goodie bag?

Well, the highlight was a Burger King soap on a rope. Can you beat that? Parable. And, like, you know, the stuff that's, you know, like a stress ball, a microphone made of that material. Oh, that's good. I'd quite like that. Because when I sing around the house, I hold an imaginary microphone.

So now I'll be able to take out a sponge one. You're keeping that, or can I have it? Oh, I'll dig it out for you. Actually, my girlfriend went to the Chortland Ward, so she'll have one. She's obviously kept that from me because she doesn't want an hour of Johnny Ray before. Well, and who can blame her? So what did you get from sport relief? I got a brochure about sport relief.

Oh, who wants that? Exactly. I'm sorry, to be disrespectful. You know when you get those variety packs of cereals And they're about like five and a half inches of them One of those of doors Yeah one cart of Dorsey Brand flakes with raspberries

Did it have a big stamp on it saying not to be sold separately? The scent of it, to me If you want to know what summed up The Comet Relief Sport Relief Mile Goody bag There was an individual individually wrapped prune. And I am not making that up.

It was in a sealed rapper. No. A prune. Oh, in cling film. Oh. Well, it wasn't clean film. It was like a plough. You might get a boiled sweet in that kind of wrap.

How disappointing. Expecting a sherbet lemon and you get that. And so, you know, I'd just run six miles. And that was my, that was my thank you. But they'd give you a silver blanket afterwards, though. No, we never got a silver blanket afterwards, though. No, we never got a silver blanket, nothing. Plastic medal that said I'd run a mile when I'd run six.

An individually rapped prude. Is that why you ran round six times because you wanted the silver blanket? And he thought, well, if I go around again, maybe I'll go around. Even Eddie Isar didn't get a self-blanket. And he is an individually rat prune. He is now. He's run himself into crinkleness. So it was an odd, an odd day in that respect.

But, you know, I mean, I felt I did a good thing. Yeah, absolutely. Well, they've been honouring all the people that got involved in sport relief were lining up at Number 10, Downing Street, I noticed. I wasn't invited. Well, you're not. Jimmy Carr was there.

They were all there, love. I was a guest on the dance program, a judge. I hosted a question of sport relief, and I ran six months. No invitation. I didn't get an invite to Number 10. Who went? I don't think that's such a bad thing.

Do you know why? Go on. Well, frankly, I think number 10, it's not as rarefied as it want, was, and I think they need to tighten up their door policy, it's the Planet Hollywood of the 90s. They're going to have a leopard skin carpet outside there any day soon. Oh, no, do you get one of those leather bomber jackets

with the number 10 down and stick crest on a ballot used to get from Planet Hollywood? I went there once to a charity reception, and it was me, Floella Benjamin, an atomic kitten. So I don't think this is a recent thing. Phenomenant. I ended up having a big argument with, Tony Blair about whether Brian Ricks was alive or not.

He didn't. Yeah. Because I'm absolutely convinced he's dead. What, the far sir? Yeah, but he's the boss of a men cap, I think, or some mental health charity. And he said, yeah, he was around the other night. I said, I don't think so. I think he's dead.

He said, no, I was talking to him. I said, that must have been the son. He said, no, no, it was Brian Ricks. I said he's dead. I'm arguing with the Prime Minister. And I had a tour of number 10. did you? What was it like? It's a...

I think there's a thing on the wall, there's a thing that looks just like gold figurine, elaborate gold figurine. If you look very closely, amidst all the figurine, there's a man climbing a ladder with a little bale of straw on his bat. And apparently, when the interior designer

did that, he put that in deliberately, and he said to Mrs Thatcher, you see Mrs Thatcher, there'll always be a Thatcher at number 10. Oh. Pratt. This is, I can't keep, I keep introducing myself,

like some strange robot who's gone. Mrs. Frankske are and actually worried. She's saying, yes, people at home going, yes, we've worked that out, say something funny. I hate it when people say that. So we were in, we went off to Blackpool last week. Those of you listened to the show regularly. I think there are what? Is it seven? Did we work out?

Yeah, about that. They, um, I've got an Easter Bonner, by the way. Easter Bonnie. Oh, I've got... Listen. All together now. Oh, I've taken mine off and I'm wearing it as a bracelet. Oh, okay. Daisy, who is the...

What is she again? Is it an associate? Assistant. Assistant. I wasn't as a sister or associate producer. But what's all a chocolate rabbit? Is that nice? Does this bell mean it's got leprosy? Yes. what the bells were. No, I don't think it's got that to see.

I think it's collecting plague victims. This is a lovely Easter message. You can imagine the Easter boy going, Bring out your dead! Anyway, from plague to Blackpool. Yeah. A novel by Beryl better or better. Yeah, so we were at the George Formby Convention.

George Formby, in case you don't know, was a Lancashire comedian from the 30s and 40s, who sang things like, In my granddad's flannel at night shirt. Spot the similarity, listeners. And, oh, I had such a good time. Oh, I love the Blackpoolians. We had a great time.

There was a thing at the George Forbes. Because the thing about George Forndby fans, they don't just turn up and talk about George Fornbee and watch films and all that, which they do do. But they all, because George Fornby played a ukulele, they all play ukuleleys. And that is, that's what I love about. It's the interactive nature, the red-botton nature.

Everyone does a turn. Yeah. There's a lot of ukulelees. Oh man, it was a ukulele fest, almost literally. I actually bought an old Gibson. How much did it cost, Frank? 950 qurida. Yeah, that was a bit rash, I know.

I was disappointed, though, because they'd said, oh, the George Forne with ukulele shop is just down here. It was in a hotel, we should say, the convention. And they had an impromptu shop. So I got very excited, because I like any opportunity to be, a consumerist. I thought, great. I'll buy like a nice mug tree or a souvenir sort of sweatshirt. And we walked into the room and there was basically

12 old men with pints around some ukuleleys discussing them. That's not a shop. No, not strictly speaking a shop, but it worked for me because I did buy a ukulele. You did. They did have a stall and on the stool, there was a square of material, like slightly rough Hessian material for sand. It says one, pound. I said, what is that? He said, well, you know when you're playing a ukulele, but you're wearing a shiny shirt? And it keeps, it keeps slipping off your chest. He says, you just put that material against your chest and it can get a bit of purchase. Yeah. I just, Velcro, I fit myself with a bit of Velcro, the back of the yuk, straight on, just stays there. What I've done

is I've welded about 40 fish hooks into the back of my ukulele, and I just put it straight into the flesh. Can I just say... This is Roman Catholic ukulele playing with his fight. I was about to say something very nice, but you? Go on there. I was going to say, Gareth and I actually felt very proud of you. Because you stood up there, didn't you?

And you did two numbers. I did do two numbers. I think it was seven. And 41, I think it was. From the George Fornbee hymn book. No, I did. I got up and I had to perform. And it's a very tough crowd to perform because they watch every note.

They have memorized George Formby's solos. I mean, note by note, so they're really looking out for it. But, yeah, it was really absolutely splent. I sat in breakfast the next morning after, or you'd gone. Oh, yeah, I don't know who left it on the chair. I sat by the window on my own, and I watched all these different types of people arriving with ukuleles.

It was like being a wizard. You thought there were different types of people there? Well, I thought there were several different types of people. But it really made me so happy. I sang like a bird. It's cold friends, Christmas, regular days, a golden day's as in stupor,

a mean days as in the sevens of the week, so this is a take out a gloat.