The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: Christmas

Episode Date: August 23, 2025

We’ve reached Christmas 2009. Frank has been to a health farm, there’s the World Cup draw and Gareth plays his Christmas song live in the studio. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Frank Skinner's Radio Days, it could go one of two ways. Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Radio Days. We've reached Christmas 2009. Oh, lovely. We'll rage against the machine make it to Christmas number one. We'll soon find out. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily and Gareth, and that's all the information you need to be going on with. Except that my favourite band in all the world is The Four, and Gareth, when to say, see the fall in Paul on... When was it? Paul, on Thursday night, Mr. Kipp's venue.

I saw the fall for the very first time. And he hasn't said a word to me. Now, he might be about to say, I'm a complete convert, or he might... Well, what are you about to say? Well, in a nutshell, it was both absolutely awful and absolutely brilliant altogether. Okay.

Not at the same time. This is like losing my virginity all up again. yes um so there were bits that were so markey smith is a very interesting man he's the lead singer for those of you who don't know yeah he looks like careful a french detective from the 80s maybe a french philosopher oh and the way he shouts out things that you can't understand fits with the french philosopher right he's quite any kind of sort of staggered around the stage doing things. Things that I've never seen any other performer do before. What sort of thing does he do? Well, I've got a list of things that Marky Smith does on stage

that I've never seen anyone else do before. So the guitarist and the bass player will be playing away. There's guitarist bass player, drummer and a keyboard lady. And they'll be playing away. The guitarist will be playing away a really good riff. And he'll stagger over to the amp. and he will turn the guitar down just completely off

can I say this is very fabulous for me because obviously I've seen him to this a thousand times but it's like an alien has landed and saying things like people sitting moving things with wheels and go around the roads he'll turn it off to show you I guess to show you what it sounds like without the guitar no I think it's to show you that

if he turns it off everyone is too frightened to turn it back on again that's what it is And then he did that to the bass player. So what else does he do? There are a number of microphones on the stage. One pointing at the guitarist, one at the keyboard player, and one at the front. And you think, oh, they're all going to sing.

No. He wanders around and will sing into different microphones at different times. Sometimes he'll sing into two microphones at once. Yes. Sometimes he'll leave a microphone somewhere and they'll have to pick it up later because he's left there. And have you ever seen a man who's been a professional voice? locally since 1978. I've more trouble putting a mic back into a mic stand.

He'll push Mike stands over. He pushed the symbols over at one point. Not in a rock and roll, angry sort of way. I'm just in an old man way. Very gentle. Fell over. I saw the fall in Camden on whatever it was this week. Oh, did you go this week as well? I'm the only one that hasn't been. Yeah, Tuesday night. And in walking around, he managed to tangle two mic stands off with the might lead and there was another mic tied up

and he walked around with it following in him about like you know when a dog's got a hair out of its bomb with like a slight tangle on the end it was like that you're looking to me like you don't know that I thought that was a bit of observational comment you know I hate it when that happens

anyway carry on he also and played the keyboard a little bit yeah sort of yeah the keyboard woman was there the keyboard woman is his wife oh really wow he's done well he walked over and she kind of moved out the way and then watched as he pressed

as he goes a key a couple of times yeah and she kind of looked at it as of say oh bless him having a go it makes me so happy that you've you're in on the magic now oh yeah the world cop the world cop so you may have heard that me and David Badele are going to

I say me and David Badele I'm never having to promote my own radio shows So I had to do a link where I said, The World Cup podcast. And I thought I'd better put Dave first. Otherwise, he'll be on the phone saying, don't switch the billion at this late stage. So, yeah.

Oh, by the way, this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I haven't even done that bit. I'm with Emily and Gareth. Good morning. I'm all over the place. Yeah, you're with Emily and Gareth, but it's going to be David Bidil this, David Bidil that.

Yes, that is true. I don't know. Maybe I won't mention it again. I feel it's all over the station, like some terrible. rash already. I'm already sick of it. Oh, to hell with the World Cup. Now, I did watch the draw yesterday. Did you watch the draw? Yeah, I watched that because I wanted to see what Charlie Seron was wearing. Oh, you're a girl. What about that? Oh, it's 1963, everyone, with

Frank Skinner. Oh, if only it was. God, I was handsome in 1963. Just got my first job in the foreign office. Frank, they said to me, you're quite a character. You, you barely, I said, Not a woodbide. God, we laughed. Yeah, it was, I enjoyed the World Cup door in that it was rubbish. Oh, I hated it. Why was it like some strange corporate?

Yeah, it was like being holiday bingo. You know, sort of Botland's bingo with Shillies. So, if I take a ball out of this part, what does that mean? Yeah, I know, I like that. And there was a bit, my favourite bit was they had Maciah Ntini, the South African bowl I was introduced. And Jonathan Pius was trying to think of helpful commentary to say And he said,

Ah, the great South African fast bowler now in Tini Bowls very wide on the crease. I thought that's, you're really getting much to a cricket detail there. The World Cup draw, Jonathan. Sure up about it. I didn't see the draw, but I saw a lot of the run-up to the drawer on Sky News. Oh, you watched the run-up to the draw? Are you one of these people who watches the run-up and thinks, oh, that'll do me?

Yeah, I lost interest. They talked a lot about the ball. how Sky News it goes round and round and they keep doing the same things every so often. They talked about the ball a lot because they've designed a special ball. Yes. The best thing about Sky News is the fact is there isn't

24 hours. There isn't. So you have to talk about everything till it's dead, dried out, horrible husk of news with nothing left at all. When there was a whale stuck on the Thames, do you remember that? There was a whale that was trap. Oh yeah, so I remember that.

And they were saying, right, well, we've got They've been talking about the whale for about three hours. There wasn't that much to say. Like, oh, look, how the water comes out of its back? You've said it then about a whale. They got this, they said we've got... It doesn't look well. He said, look, we've got Dave Willits on now,

the Sky Sports Angling expert. And they got him on to talk about the whale. And they showed you this thing up the river. And he said, oh, look, that platform's obviously on its way to help. That platform was a fixed platform, but in about two years. Anyway So, Frank, is our World Cup group a good one?

Do you really want to know? Yes, I do want to know. Well, it's a good one if you like doll games. I would rather have had really, really difficult teams. Well, early on, but then we might get knocked out. No, you've got to start, you know, you've got to kick. It's like this show. We started off, you know, rocking and rolling.

Or did we? Anyway, I am... There's a World Cup chart in the Times today, so I'm very excited about it. Well, it was in Germany, obviously, me and David Badil did the World Cup. And we had a spiff in time, but I got fat. Did you? Well, in Germany, you can only, they eat fat, basically. You go, and they just eat red meat, that's all they eat.

You're quite a slight thing as well. I am quite slight. And David was on one of his, he started off on one of his diets. Oh. Because Dave, he likes a diet. Oh, he loves a diet. Oh, man. I went out with Dave once.

and we went out for lunch and he said, I said, you want one of the, he said, I'm on the Atkins diet. I said, oh, right, you know, the Atkins is just protein. Yeah, no carbs. Yeah, so we had, so the lunch came along, and he said, I'll have the chips, and then he ordered dessert after. I said it's an odd version. He said, I don't go on it till 2 o'clock in the day.

I don't think it works, does it? My best thing once was I went around Dave's house and he said to me, do you want to, do you want a chocolate? I said, I will have a chocolate, thank you very much. So he took an envelope, a padded envelope out of a drawer. And they're like blackmail chocolate. And took it. And I thought, you know, they've been sent by a mad fan

and been injected with bromide or something. And I said, where did that? He said, no, no, he said, I've joined a chocolate club. How old was he nine? They sent me a different kind of chocolate every week, different box of chocolates. Chocolate club. How marvellous.

I love David's chocolate club. So whether they'll be able to find us in South Africa, I don't know the chocolate. I'm imagining a man on a scooter with the padded envelope on the back and some milk tray. Can I say milk tray? Do they still exist milk tray? Oh, do they?

That's this morning's phone in. On 8, 12, 15. Looking forward to it. The milk tries to exist. I don't see how many... That's not really the family. We've had a texting already on 812-15, haven't we? Yeah.

Gareth, would you like to do the honour? Don't squabble about who rains it out. Dear Frank... There'll be others on, you know, fingers crossed. There's Dear Frank, I think I've figured out how to finally have a text read out on your show. One, start with Dear Frank. Two, tell Emily she looks great and her voice sounds sexy.

Three, tell Gareth his last gig was excellent. from Rohan in London hoping to hear this on the podcast. Well, frankly, I don't think I get enough text in telling me my last gig was excellent. No. That would get rid out. Why is that? Why is that, I don't know. It's a mystery. Yeah.

I think we get too many saying that Emily. Yeah, we get a lot of it, Emily. I think we don't get nearly enough. I feel that they come from the same people, but they all live in North London. And they all use your email address. How dare you? Yeah, I wish they wouldn't do that. That's just ridiculous.

Franks, it's with your base, and ye's away in a vase. Yeah, he's on ITV. Yeah, he's on. And it's like a sort of a special ITV. You know those sort of special ITV things that aren't that good. It's one of those.

What do you mean? What is it? What an evening with? Yeah, but it always feels like he's turned over the church hall. I don't know what it is, but I like the coziness. I once went to an audience with, Rod Stewart. Remember those audience with programs? Oh, yeah. They still do them. I think they did. I went to an audience with the Spice Girls. We've all been to one of those love.

Oh, well, okay, yeah, but this was particularly good, because when you go to those things, the whole thing was set up. You'd be in the green room having a drink before, and someone would come up and said one of the producers would say here's a question I'd like you to ask blah blah you know so you always it was all set up all the they knew what questions was coming and all that which is fine you know who cares

but Rod apparently he said no no I don't need any I'll just you know I'll busk it which is I admired him for that but obviously it was you know Did he mean he was going to take a collection is that what he said what they used to they used to put all the celebrities at the front

for security, and then they'd put, you know, the people like me at the back? The ordinary people. But the people who just came on the other day, they would be at the back. But Rod, man of the people, said, no, no, no, I want the celebrities at the back, I want the real people at the front.

I thought, good on you, good on you, Ron. So, anyway, he comes on stage, and he says, I'll sort the question, don't worry about that. So he does a couple of songs, lovely. He says to the, he said, anyone got any questions? Bloke puts his hand up, and he says, yes, mate. I thought this is brilliant.

This is like, Not many comics would dare to this. This bloke said, why don't you make good albums anymore like you did in the 70s? And Rod made some terrible thing about, you know, everyone's got different tastes. Oh, man, it was so awful.

And then it went on, and he didn't ask any more questions for about half an hour, obviously one's bitten. And then he thought, I think he had the note from the producer, go to the celebrities. And of course, I don't know if you know this,

but Rod is very near sight. is he? Yeah, and of course he can't wear the glasses on stage. No, I'm going to hang along the fringe. It's at the edge of the rim. And so he went random. He went completely random. He said, any questions from the celebrities

and somebody put their hand up? And Rod, he sort of squinted, and said, is that John Travolta? And a voice said, no, no, it's Bradley Walsh. I've never seen such... I don't think I've ever seen such disappointment on the face of it made a record. audience star. They are quite low rent

sometimes those audience with. What are you saying about Bradley Hall? No, I'm just saying at the Spice Girls. There was Linda Bellingham and Lee Sharp and that was your lot. Oh, you were there as well, sorry. No, I wasn't at the Spice Girls. I'd have been happy to have been at that one. I just, I went up to war. There was a time I went, I'd been to everything I was invited to, basically.

It was just, they didn't bother inviting me. They just sent a car. They knew I'd go. Have you been to an audience with, Gareth? No, not one of those programs. Yesterday we went to see Tori Amos, didn't we? Is it Tori Amos? I saw Tori Amos. Tori Amos.

I don't know. Okay. No idea. And so I was in an audience with you. Right. We were in an audience with. That doesn't count. That doesn't count as an audience with Frank Skinner, though, doesn't it?

No, it's not about being in an audience with Frank Skinner. Is it? She was good, though, wouldn't she? Oh, I can't tell you. I honestly, I didn't know anything about Tori Amos. I only went because my girlfriend's sister, Rachel, is mad about Tori Amos. And I thought, well, I'll go, you know. I'll be not in cope with anything.

I took my iPod. just in case. Turned out, she absolutely, she blew me away. Who'd have thought that? She was absolutely brilliant. Owa! The Crusade continues. You've got to, we can't see.

We can stop the terrible Joe, ice Joe, from the X Factor. Oh, who has got his own, he's actually editing the showbiz page in today's son. So this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. But why interrupt things? Well, that's sort of nonsense. and Emily's here and Gareth. But listen to this. This is Joe, who listened to that track for the first time yesterday.

Joe won the X Factor. And he says, this is Joe, the can't be serious. I have no idea what it's only like. It's dreadful, and I hate it. How could anyone enjoy this? And wait for it. Can you imagine the grandmas hearing this over Christmas lunch?

You know what, Joe? It's not just grandmas who listen to records. That's what you've got to realize. It's not for the grandmas. They've had their days. Oh, can you believe that? Oh, and what the grandma? Shut up!

Poor Joe! No, poor... Did you say, Joe, when they actually... Just before, on the final, they showed him, they showed a little clip of his family saying, You're so proud of you, you're Minnesota. And they'd just done it to the other guy, Ollie. And Ollie had wept.

I mean, he went... He turned to Dermot, Leary, and says, What are you doing to me? I mean, it was terror. I cried. And then they showed Joe's family saying, oh, dear, our lovely joy. I cried.

Cheryl had to go to her dresser room. She cried that much. She had to go and have her docks clean by some sort of specialist. But Joe, nothing. Really? I mean, that's the point of the whole thing. He just wants to get away from those terrible people.

That's, yeah. His Jordie relatives? Well, I'm sure they're not terrible people. Yeah. But he had that look, which was, I've told you, never to call me at work. And that's what it was. It was absolute. And there's a terrible bit where he thought, oh, I better look upset.

And he tried to brush a tear from his eye. But, I mean, there wasn't one. And you heard this of the terrible dryness of his android face on touch by emotion. Is it like when I try and brush a tear from my eye? Well, yours is more the thick, glonging sound of foundation. But a problem. You started early. Yes, I have.

I tell it early, I've started. Listen to this. Jingle bell, jingle bell. There you go, it's Christmas. Oh, that's nice. That's Christmassy. That was the fall. Oh, you're kidding.

I never would have got. The fall have done quite a few Christmas times. I thought it was Perry Como. Brace yourself. That's horrible. Imagine that good on our side. That's horrible. You sound like Joe.

Going back to Joe on the base paint. Joe has only just worked out an autograph style. The X-Factor people told me I might have to sign my name. I had never practiced my signature before, so I've been working on one for the last two weeks. It's a strange thing I have to do. Yeah, don't worry. You'll be doing it once a week. He doesn't sound like that. Down at the Dowell Office. So you might as get used to sign in things. So anyway, yes. Can I recommend he does what I did when I was Ender the Triphids? Yes, I was Ender the Triffids. And I went for pound milly.

I signed it like that. I did a pound sign. So just a little flourish is what he should do. Pound Millie? What are you talking about? That's how it looked. Emily, I did a pound sign for the E. Right.

In some terrible I'm going to be really rich, now I'm a child star. Why did you ever get that wrong? That's the morning. See, we haven't forgot the old jingles, Gareth. We haven't forgot. Don't think we've forgotten them. We haven't.

We've just replaced them with the odd. No Christmas for Jockes. No Christmas for Jockeys. No Christmas for John Cleese. What was it? John Cleese has, he's converted to the Jewish faith. I don't know if you saw that in the papers. And jockeys have said that they're not going to celebrate it this year as a protest against climate change. What is that song? It's called No Christmas for John Keys.

Oh. Yeah. I think it's a kind of, I think it's sort of a way of saying Junkies. but I could be wrong. I don't want to put words in the man's brusmassy. Merry Christmas, baby Jesus. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to all our listeners. That's what I was supposed to say, isn't it? Frank, we've had two texts in from Nana. Two texts already. Creditors hounding me at my very fireside. What do they say? Well, they're both from Nana's.

What, Nana Muscuri? Would be one? Who would the other want be? Saying, I'm a grant and I listen to it. This is all about rage against the machine. Oh, okay. And there's another nana... What's the name that now? Oh, the nannas remained anonymous. Oh, okay. Another anonymous nana says from a nana of eight.

We don't lose our taste in music as we age. I love rage against the machine. Well, there you go, you see. So, Joe McEldry shouldn't stereotype nannas as only listening to Miley Cyrus covers. They actually like proper music. Well, it's an honour to hear from you too. I say, I say it's an honour.

Thanks for texting in. Have you got any Murray-Mints? Yeah. If you've got any jam, send us some of your jam. Oh, the little bit of material around the top, the elastic band, you know. Oh, yeah. What is that about? Because I used to think, all that's, they're saving on lids,

and then you take that bit of stuff off. Is there a lid underneath? There's a lid underneath? Oh. So what's the point in that? It's affectation, really, isn't it? Well, it is. It's senior affectation.

Sorry, Gareth, what is you going to say? No, nothing. It's gone now. Oh, well, that would have been the best thing ever said on Ray. and I killed. Is that what you're saying? No. Okay. We went out without Gareth this week. He was invited, but why couldn't you come?

I had a gig. Okay. I don't believe that. It was when he found out we were going to Panto and Milton Keynes. He was mysteriously unavailable. It wasn't cool enough for Gareth. Definitely there was a chance the gig would come up at any moment. My friend used to say that chap lips were, my friend Alex at school, he said chap lips were the worst disease known to man.

Is that right? Yeah. I think you thought that that was such a mighty saying that you thought I'd better credit him properly before I say it. I better make sure it was Alex from school. I don't really find what I'm saying. I can't believe you're using my stuff. I'll not give it me a proper credit.

Yeah, so tell us about your dream, Gareth, because this is important. I had a dream when I woke up yesterday morning that young and old could join hands in the living. No, no, it's not that trick. No, not that one, okay. It was that I woke up and Jimmy Carr was on stage in the dream and he was, he told the setup to a joke.

Right. The setup was, he held up two pieces of meat, one in each hand. Yeah. And said, I can hold two pieces of meat at once. Right. But then as he, I woke up as he was doing the punchline. So in Jim, I was like, oh, no, I'm going to miss the punchline. I'm waking up.

And I never found out what the punchline was. Yes. So, but it just so happens. We know someone who knows Jimmy Carr, don't we? Yeah. Would that be me, friend of the stars? Of course. So even though this joke obviously had never happened,

it wasn't one of Jimmy's jokes, it's just a dream. As a challenge, Emily phoned Jimmy Carr while we were out at lunch yesterday and said to him, go on what, you chose to say? Jimmy, can you finish this joke? Yeah. You actually said finish. Didn't worry him in some way. I'm Norwegian.

Okay, yeah. And he said, Gareth. He said the stakes are even. That's awesome. Good, that's off absolutely Jimmy Carhart. lightning best. Yeah, I was very impressive. I'm quite excited.

Why am I quite excited? Well, I'll tell you why, because Gareth, our lovely Gareth, is about to premiere his Christmas song. And me and Emily are on the bells. Have you got your bells, ready? Yeah, I've got me bells. Okay, so this is Gareth with Christmas com down. That's right.

That's the sound of the Omnacle. It's the feeling that comes the same time each year After the presents and the Christmas cheer It's supposed to be cozy and quintessential But now you feel hollow and existential Santa watches TV like a slob Rudolph treats himself to a nose job After the excitement of Christmas

morning frosty tries to hide from global warming it's the Christmas come down makes you want to down a gallon of cherry and drown when you feel the melancholy setting in eat about 40 biscuits then open another tin it's the Christmas come down because everything is bleak at the end of the day It's just another day of the week Especially if you're an atheist, a Jew or a seat Your presents are rubbish, no one took a hint The wrapping paper adds to your carbon footprint Your family just sits around and sigh

You didn't see them last year, now you remember why You make a mental note of gifts to take back Either granddad's snoozing or he's had an attack This year no angels have appeared Except to auntie glad but she's a bit weird It's the Christmas come down More depressing than the smell of your dad's dressing gown When you feel like you're losing the will to live

Don't take the Phil's Christmas is a time to give It's the Christmas come down Because possessions can't satisfy Well, maybe for a bit But they're pointless When you die It's a Christmas Come down

When Jesus came down to earth It's the time of year And we celebrate the virgin birth Sorry, I've got that bit wrong Do that again It's the time of year When you celebrate the absolute birth Oh, my God.

Yay! Oh, a star is born. Oh, marvellous. Oh, I love that, Gareth. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio, and yeah, and that was Gareth's fabulous song. It was well done, sir. Thank you.

It was marvellous. I very much enjoyed my... Oh, you loved yourself doing that, didn't you? It's an instrument you can just play instantly. Rudolf the Red. No, I say that works. It's a copy of it. She could do anything.

We were very good as backing artists, I think. Yeah, very good. When you're weary, feeling small. Say anything who bothers the guitars? So, look, we asked, Gareth had a dream about Jimmy Carr in which he was standing on stage.

What, it's true, is it? No, but that's one of the more bizarre moments. Well, the phone in this week is that Gareth had a dream about it. That's really... And Jimmy Carr said, what did he say again? He said, I can hold two pieces of meat at the same time and held them up. Yeah, and then Gareth woke up before the punchline. We've asked you, our beautiful listeners, to supply some punchlines.

How's it going? I have to say they have surpassed themselves, the listeners. You don't have to say. I know it says that in the contract. They're at loopholes. No, go on, carry on. And in Newcastle says, I can hold two pieces of meat at once.

mom always said I was hand-fisted That's very good And you're new car. Oh, no! And new! Karen, just Karen. A bit like Madonna, just the one name. She says, I can hold two pieces of meat at once. It's awfully hard to balance.

Oh, Karen. I see what you did that, Karen. I hate it when people say, I see what you did there. Because they never did, they're people who can't think of a joke themselves. Like, people say, you know, when people say, knew you were going to say that. I think, yeah, yeah, right, you know. People generally do know what you're going to say, because you're so predictable. Yeah, well, how come they aren't millionaires? Oh, oh, oh, hold on a minute. I think I'll win this back.

Oh, it's okay. Don't worry, because you're not a millionaire anymore, either, from what I've been here. Oh, well, I'm leaving. I'm leaving with my friends the Morris dancers. Come on, let's go. Yeah, let's go. I've got enough. Let's leave now. Do you want to hear more jokes? Dick O'Neill. says, I can hold two pieces of meat at once. Does that make me lamb be dexterous? Very good. That is very good.

I'm loving it. Yeah. And there's someone called Frank, who's actually very funny. And he says, I can hold two pieces of meat at once, but I'm struggling to make ends meet. Oh. We've got one more. Hold it.

I'm still thinking about that. That's good. It's not rude. Don't worry. There's something there, definitely. Mark Davis and Nottingham, the punchline. has got to be, I'm double-jointed. Oh, that is a cracker.

No, I really like that. Finally, Richard and Snowy Scotland says, I can hold two pieces of meat at once. It's a bit of a rare treat. Well done. You know, I once met a woman in Scotland who said she could hold two pieces of meat. Oh, thank. Well, I'm just, it was going to be a cooking anecdote,

but you've spoilt it now, as usual. I went to a health farm. which a lot of what you do you go and have a launch there and everyone's in their dressing gowns oh you keep your robe on yeah I wasn't sure about that I thought this would be good practice for when I'm in an old people's home when we all sit in a circle around the television

with our mouths open but my girlfriend loved it she had like 28 treatments and no I can't I tried to hog her on the way she slipped straight out of my ass she was so moisturised it was like trying to hold a prize winning car Oh, sorry, carry on.

I was just going to say, I love a health farm. Well, when I used to go to the gymnasium in the old days, and I stopped going because I was in there once, and a rugby team came in, a whole rugby team, and they still, a lot of them have got their shirts on and stuff, like they'd just come off the pitch, you know. And one of them, you know, on that thing that you're sitting, and then the weights are sort of stacked up,

and then you have to pull down. Yes, I know that. He sat in that. And he was a massive bloke. They put so much weight on. They were scouring the place for more weight. I was watching. This is how tragic I was.

I was lifting this like a barbell in the air. And I didn't have any weights on. The weight of the actual bar was sufficient for me. They could have used you as a weight. No, they could have used me as one of those wedges that keep the weights in. I mean, I was, it was so masculine. I couldn't breathe. I had testosterone.

suffixation. Anyway, when he pulled the thing, he had that much white, and he just went up in the air, because he was, the whites were much heavier than him. So they started, they started holding onto his legs, all these men. And, uh, no, no. And, uh, and they were, he was going, ha, ah! And going purple. And I was lifting me, me, me empty bar. And I thought, I'm never, ever coming to the gym again, ever. And, um, I didn't go. Anyway, not that I didn't do any training when I was at the health home, I did a class on hula hooping.

You did not? I absolutely did. And I'll tell you something, the barbecue ones. No, no, you get... Can you do it? I've never been able to do that. That's not a fitness class. I tell you, my hip, oh man, my hips.

I reckon... Oh, I don't want to think about that. Yeah, I reckon if I'd put some sort of... say if I put a sort of a toothpaste container into my bottom containing fond and toys I reckon I could do my signature on a birthday cake my hips my hips was so what did you wear for this a unitard or something

I didn't wear anything otherwise the hoop would have kept falling on the floor no no no I just wore shorts and a t-shirt you know and stuff but it's honestly I thought it was you know I worked up a sweat, Hula Hooping. I think it's going to be one of my New Year's resolutions.

Well, you're going to start doing hula hooping? I'm going to get a hula hoop. And not in the, you know, not in the street. I'm not going to get a hoop and stick. Get to work with it. I'm going to get a hula hooping. I'm serious. I'm going to get a hula hooping might be the next big thing. I think people will look back on this show in 10 years

time. Well, probably they won't. But, and I'll say, just think that he spoke about Hulu hoop and then we all thought, oh, they're ridiculous. And now everybody's doing it. Yes. I'm That's my name. What are you going to do, Gareth?

What's your new year's resolution? My new year's resolution, I'm starting to say my year's resolution before I'd actually thought of anything. Oh, okay. You're doing that thing? I do that in a restaurant. I go out like the, um...

And then I point. I'm one of those people that point at the menu, which is very, very shabby. Have you thought of one yet? I'm trying to help you out here. Yeah, no. We'll come back to you. What's yours, Emily?

I might take up smoking. Hear me out on this Just because it's far less commercial now And you know I always like to get Bangin on trend with things So I just think now might be the time Far fewer people are doing it A bit more exclusive

Why not? True, I mean I would wait till after the cold snap Was over Because I drove through London the other night In snow And there were people standing That's just people standing outside Like I mean cover

In a blizzard smoking And it takes incredible staying there. You're driving through snow wasn't as bad as mine. I think there was one man hula hooping. Everyone else was out there smoking.