The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: Clothes

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

We’ve reached 2011 in our walk down memory lane. This time the best bits include a Frank in a roast chicken outfit, a made-up proverb and the clothes the team wore as children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Frank Skinner's Radio Days It could go one of two ways Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Radio Days We've reached 2011 in our best bits This time we're talking about the clothes we wore when we were children Mr Albs No do enjoy Welcome to everyone listening

I'm Frank Skinner I'm with Emily and Garris You forgot our names of it there Yeah just for a second I told you we needed their name badge still. I'm keen on the name badges. As I said to you this morning, you've changed since you had those Christmas named after you. I know. You never know what's going to go to your head in this business.

But, yeah, Frank Rose Dinner. That was it for me. So, yes, welcome, welcome. And, oh, I've had a difficult week, as you can probably tell by my blustering. I had, as you may know, I have a girlfriend. Some think I'm a bit old to have a girlfriend in that phrase. What do you mean? Well, you know, because... Oh, I say it should be a wife?

Or do you have... Or should it be a hard man. A lady friend. Lady friend is... No, lady friend is just someone you're seeing on the side, isn't it? That's what I always am. I remember my mum always used to say, of course, Mr. Shaw, he's got a fancy woman. And I love the idea of a fancy woman.

Anyway, so, me and my girlfriend had quite a bit... We had quite a big row. We had a row that was so big. on Sunday that I did something I've never done before as an antidote to be in a row

I went to bed the row was so intense this is like in the day the row it was so intense I went to bed for three hours that was my so you removed yourself from the row I slept in big time I slept

I was so exhausted I couldn't take anymore I had to go and have a sleep mid-row When I got up, Kath was still rowing. I think she'd probably continued for the whole three hours. I hadn't noticed I'd left the room. Can I just say if I was Kath, that would have irritated me so much.

Do you know why? Well, he was hoping. No, that you could sleep during a row. How can you do that? I know, that's right. I think it's that sleeping tablet. She ground up and put in my coffee. Well, while I was sleeping, she told me that she'd been on the internet for two hours, looking at flats.

That's what I was. I call a row. Look at the song, man. You can't know what it's about, no? What can you know what it was about? No, it was so trivial and stupid. They always are. Yeah.

I mean, you know, some people, when I'm in a row, I sometimes think, oh, I've had an offer this row now. Yeah. Can we just come back to me in Nor? But I want to go back, ping, like that. I don't want to have two days of talking about our relationship. I just want to go. Oh, go, just go.

What are you go? Anyway, so should we? go, yeah, she's what I want it to be like when she don't like that. She likes a ramp at the beginning and at the end. You have to have a ramp now, I don't like a ramp. That's what I'm like. I mean, I think traditionally you would think that it was

gender roles, but I need closure, I need to talk about it. Laura, like if we start, if we have an argument too late, my wife, she can just go to sleep. She can do that. Oh, she's like Frank? Yeah. Like two peas in a pod, you and Laura?

I thought I'd invented did this going to sleep? That's a good idea. Some people... It's not in the day. She doesn't just go to sleep in the day. Some people, they have apparently... And I know it's a little early in the morning, but they have the physicals. Why should they get a treat if they'd be mean? That's not fair. Yeah, you shouldn't use it as a weapon ever. No.

And also... No treat for you! I also don't think you should assume it's a treat necessarily. We started the show talking about arguments. It's good sometimes when you can take your days. tell people they're just wrong in the situation. This week, my mum, my brother and his wife are currently staying in my mum and dad's spare room because they've just sold their house.

And my brother's wife is a vegetarian. Well, my mum finds this a little bit difficult because, you know, you've got to do it. And she insists on doing all the cooking. And my mum was like, well, let me tell you this. The other day, I was chopping some bread and I didn't have my glasses on. And I must have, you know, I wasn't paying attention. And I must have cut myself a little bit. and I got some of the blood on the bread

This is your mum saying this, yeah Well, you will not believe the fuss That's you made about, that's my brother's wife About there being blood on the bread She's fussy in the extreme I like a bit of pensioner blood on her Actually, I prefer it on a rive eater Your mom's not a pensioner

What? Your mom is not a pensioner How old are you? I'm 31 She was a child bride Let's not do the mouth No You don't want to No and so I was like mum

That is not acceptable That is not even about being a vegetarian No that's about not being a cannibal Yeah Yeah well She's a hardy character I think I may have caught myself Who knows

You know if I cut myself Slicing bread Something that doesn't happen that often I'll be straight with you I make a one hell of a fox She's positively bronzomian, your mother. Yeah. And is it Romeo Beckham?

Yeah. He was just voted 26th best-dressed man in the G-2. Man? Yeah. He's very stylish, though. He's got a strong kind of signature look. What is he signature look? He often wears a waistcoat, which I like.

What, just a waistcoat? A top cat. Yeah. Does he wears a waistcoat? Oh, that is, oh, I hate that. That's a child at wedding, isn't it? You know, the bricade waistcoat on the child thinking, oh, we've dressed him up for that.

And they just look like, look, when the Victorians used to put dogs in suits, looks like that. I did see some Celebrity's Child in Hello magazine once with a baby grow tuxedo, which was quite gross as well. But, yeah, so he wears sort of... I watch that Essex. What's it called? Oh, the only way is Essex?

Honeyway is Essex, and they've got a baby girl, and on her baby grow, it said future footballer's wife. Does it say that? Yeah. I love it when people just become parodies of themselves. Yeah, so he wears a waistcoat, a black skinny jean. He sometimes rocks a scarf as well, and he's got great hair. Oh, God. I don't think kids should be... I wore short trails, so still as 11. Right.

And, well, actually, come to think of it, mainly as a kid, I wore a cowboy outfit for, I'd say, the first six or seven years of my life. I mean, you know, I couldn't... I didn't know you were quite that old. Yeah, I come back to be... Yeah. Old. Midlands.

I was in Arizona in the 1860s. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We used to see Wild Bill on his way to work in the morning. Regular as clockwork. Did you genuinely... Did you genuinely the fact? Would you just put that on?

as your clothes every day. That was my clothes. Doesn't an adult stop you? No, I think it was just accepted then. You know, I didn't have that many clothes. It would stop me wearing out the other things. So I had a cowboy outfit until I was like nine.

And then, as I've mentioned on the show before, my mom made me a Batman outfit. Oh, don't. I can't bear the poignancy of that. Is that the Wellies one? Yeah, that's right. Oh, we had wellies. So I essentially, yeah, swimming trunks out of a jeans.

Oh, I can't bear it. And a grey jumper with it. But I essentially wore fancy dress until I was 11. So Romeo Becker with these skinny jeans. Yeah, it's got skinny jeans, I suppose. In every sense. Yes. I can't understand that.

And when I wore dress for school, I never went to a school uniform school until I was 11. And the one thing that sticks in my memory about my... Every picture of me from my childhood, of which there are about seven, because we didn't have a camera, I'm wearing a snake belt. Oh, the double S's, the S is. Yeah, like a little S-shaped snake. They were still around in my day for some of the other children.

Everybody wore those snake belt things. They say everybody. Well, everybody in working class West Midlands. Yeah. Yeah, every picture I've got. Even some of the cowboy outfit ones, I've incorporated a snake-dop. Did you wear them with a gene, though, Frank? Did you wear a gene?

Well, you know, I wore, as you know, a Tesco Levi, which was barely qualified as dead. It was blue. And that was about it. But a short troughs, this is mainly as a king. I was more sort of, well, I did have, I was a bit sport of Victorian child was my signature look. Yeah, Violet Elizabeth kind of.

Yeah, a bit, there were some britches, there was a lot of smocking, there was even a Tamashanta. Smoking? Yeah. Well, a dress with smocking. Do you understand? Oh, okay, yeah. I was thinking 18th century agricultural. With the three Xs across the best.

No. No. So, yeah, that was my... That was your look, licey and... Well, no, as I got older, I developed my install and I had things like the reversible pink bomber jacket, which, if you can forget. which had, it was bright, shocking pink on the outside, opal fruit stripy on the inside, and it was reversible. Opal fruit stripy?

And then my sister bought the same one. Oh, no. That was my Vietnam. That was my personal Vietnam. That was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. You weren't there, man. You don't know what it would like. Good morning, opal fruit stripes.

Is that what you said every morning? Gareth, I imagine you in a sort of little, Lord Fortler eye blue velvet cat suit well I was blue I did think I don't mean as a child I'm just saying when I imagine you I'm a sucker for something

a little bit quirky so like when at school really you should just try and dress as much As much like Just spent your whole life looking through gauze throat gorse I was also in a fancy dress unfortunately no

you know and um you should try and dress as much like everyone else at school as possible and um wax jackets were in wax jackets yeah sort of like yeah well we didn't have barbers no but your parents had some lovely ones yeah that they decided to keep for themselves old so they were actually in fashion yeah no everyone was wearing them in leicestershire yeah oh okay well sort of yeah but everyone everyone was wearing them and um i went to the wax jacket shop and i got a they had a blue one on offer so everyone else is in green and I got a blue one

but also they had a flat cap to match I'm liking that's like one of those actor caps that you hate Frank yeah when an actor doesn't want to be spotted yeah and so I

wore that ensemble and um ensemble I say ensemble blur is what you wore so you were all in blue yeah and how long did you

did you tote that outfit. Well, I think the cap was removed from me by people on the bus the first day. Oh, really? Oh, that's the same. I don't know how poor we were, but I sort of wore clothes until they fell from me. Do you know what I mean? I absolutely wore them out till there was nothing. So they were just fibres. I suppose all clothes are just fibres ultimately. That's a thing to say to the Deputy Editor of InSty magazine. What about that?

We've had some birthday wishes as well for you, Frank. Oh, that's absolutely lovely. I'm trying to lead both you guys into the chicken email, but as you won't do it, I'm just going to talk about it anyway. God, you can take a horse to water, but not on this show. Yes, yes, I was out, I'm within a chicken outfit. Let me explain. That was a tweet we got.

You're absolutely right. We did get a tweet in from someone called Scotty 8. What I need is some idiot cards. You know those things they use where I'll say, mention that thing and then I'll talk about the chicken outfit. Too late, I'm talking about the chicken outfit now. Yes, I was on the streets of West London this week. Notting Hill, which some of you will have heard of the movie, I'm sure.

Dressed as a giant roast chicken in one hell of an outfit, can I say? I mean, chunky outfit. heavy at one point when because I couldn't keep it on in between takes takes is what we in the TV world call that bit when you're being filmed like you didn't know they were helping me off with it and it got stuck

and I couldn't breathe I literally couldn't breathe and I thought oh to die like this to die in a roast chicken outfit a corpse within a corpse you know those meals when they put like they do a can and then they put a sheep inside that and a goat inside that and then eventually down to a wren, to a tiny wren.

It would have been like that. I'd have had to have been buried in it. So was it made out of actual chicken, or what was it made of? Oh, no. It wasn't some Lady Gaga thing. No, no. No, it was, I don't know what it was made. There was an whole art department.

It was a difficult thing. The director said to me, are you going to do the walk? I said, what do you mean? You said, you know, you're going to do the walk? I said, well, it's a roast chicken. There is no roast chicken war. He's not roasting his chickens properly. No.

But I said, I'm making a run through. Sounds like they're done. Yeah. There was lots of conversations like that. It was... So you were dressed as a chicken, Frank. Was everyone else dressed up as well? I should point out the context of this.

Yes, you should. I was making a crisp advert with Gary Linneka. But before you condemn me, it's for comic relief. Okay. So that's what I did. I remember there was a terrible bit I was walking down the road in this chicken outfit and a cab driver wound down his window looked at me and said, it's not fantasy football, is it, Frank?

In a terrible, like, it's come to this. How dare he? Oh, he was right, of course. So were the other ones dressed up then? No, Jimmy Carr and Stephen Fry and Al-Murray and Gary Linnika all present, not... They were in the most elaborate costume, Stephen Frye, wore an evening suit. Well, he always does.

Yeah, I think he arrived in that. But I was the only one in anything resembling an outfit, and mine was, I had enough outfit for four. It was an enormous, you should have seen it. And towards the end of the day, they have the director on board, then they have what they're called the creatives. Oh, yeah, they're like the advertising people. Young guys, very, very trendy.

from the advertising, and they throw out ideas. Do they keep any? Or do they just throw them out? Well, no, they kept them, I threw them out. Right. They passed them to me. They said to me, about seven hours into the shoot, do you think you could play it a bit more naturalistic?

I want the chicken. A man in a roast chicken outfit. You could go all method about it, and well, I'll need an oven. I'm really going to need an oven. Yeah, well, I would need... I need 20 minutes of basting. You know, the idea I had to storm into Stephen Fry's cafe. He doesn't have a cafe, but he didn't the context of this.

When we have a falling out about who's got the best crisps. Oh. It's pathetic. Well, I imagine. Well, I imagine Bruce he was pitching it endlessly. he got a lifetime achievement award this week never as a lifetime achievement award been left so late

do you know what I made he got it's a game of chicken he said he was retiring and then he said he was any joking a game of chicken I can't believe you brought that no he did that was a good thing when he said what a great night to announce my retirement but I'm not going to that rascal

as far as I can remember I'm not going to he said anyway so yes I was meanwhile with Steve Brian the chicken I'll leave back to a doctor. Yeah, enough now. Poor Bruce. Enough?

Yeah, chicken gate. Yeah, chicken gate, yeah. So, in case you've just tuned in, yes, I was walking the streets in a giant rose chicken outfit this week, doing a Chris Badoffert for Comet Relief, and I was working with, as I say, Jimmy Carr, Al-Murie, and Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry. I mean, I tell you what with Stephen...

There was a long pause after that. I tell you what with Stephen Frye is I found my... myself talking at my very cleverest when I was talking to him. I went as high as I could go. I was I was pushing the ceiling of my intellect. What sort of things were you breaking out? Well, I mean, for example, I started talking to him about, I meant, I quoted, not deliberately, actually, a line from a T.S. Eliot poem. If you're going to start to the summer, there's a line that let us go then you and I, which is a kind of a... Not macavity, macavity. No, no, I kept macavity out of it. and he um he uh he uh he did the rest of the poem because the chicken has a cavity that's you're on in our house

oh we finished the poem did he he finished the whole poem and then i mentioned then somebody it's quite long felt it i never noticed how long it was thank god i didn't say in the beginning it was anyway so oh you'd still be still be on the new testament now somebody mentioned a thing about a mathematician and then he talked about 10 minutes. I mean, it's phenomenal. There is nothing that he doesn't know about. And, I mean, we were doing, do you know, there's a thing in the Daily Mirror

called The Quiz Word. Have you ever seen it? Oh, no. It's the most misplaced item in any national newspaper because it's in the Daily Mirror, the Daily Mirror, who this very day has got a pull-out supplement

I have here called the World's Worst Serial Killers. Not just the pull-out supplement on serial killers, but the world's worst. They've actually, they've opened the hand, on serial killing. There are some serial killers. There's some not very nice eyes on the front, Frank. Yeah, they're always got funny eyes.

Horrible eyes. Serial killers. But as if serial killers aren't bad enough, there's some serial killers that don't qualify for the mirrors pull-out supplement because they're not horrible enough. Anyway, that's the kind of thing the mirror normally are. But there's a thing called the quiz word in the mirror,

which is the artist general knowledge cross what I've ever done. It ought to be in, like, the Mensa Journal or something like that, but it's in the daily mirror. that happened. And I've never managed to complete it. It's impossible. It's impossible to do. Because you have to know who opened the batting for Gloucestershire in 1972, and then the Latin name for a hawk moth. You have to know it all. And we kept leaving it around, because I was sharing a dressing room. I just leave it around with a pen by Stephen. I just wanted to see him go. But he never, he never went for him. But he knew he was so clever, so clever.

Even, like, there was something wrong with the door on our Winnie Bay go. He mended that. He weren't down to the coffee, but I couldn't flush the toilet. He came in and flush the toilet. He's a quite mundane task, like, to use a toilet. He knows how to flush a toilet. But this was a hidden grey trigger that I couldn't find for the life of me. Never mind that.

We've had quite an urgent text in, Frank. Urgent. Yeah. Well, it seems it says Bex's text said she can't make it on a day you're free and vice versa.

We'll have to do it in Jan sometime. So... Who? Bex? Bex. Does it mean anything to anyone? No. David Beckham

wouldn't text me. Well, I don't know that is... Maybe it's about him, yeah. Do you think they've sent the wrong... I think they might have. Oh, no. Well, that means that some friend of Bex who should have got this,

she can't, you know, she can't see you. when you arrange. You have to do it some later time in Jan. I have to do it in Jan sometimes. Well, it is Jan, isn't it? Well, what are they doing in Jan anyway? It all sounds a bit sleazy.

Yes. Well, if we heard anything from the outside world, apart from people who have accidentally texted us. We have. We had one in, didn't we go, about a rabbit. Yes, it says, it's disappeared. Here we are. It's disappeared.

That'll be some sort of magic trick for you. Was it on the magicians last Saturday night? Oh, we must talk about the magicians. Strewse. That's my review. Hi, Frank Emily and Gareth. In an earlier podcast, you were talking about what noise a rabbit makes. When me and my brother were younger, we seemed to think they made their noise Nimmy.

I know where this came, I don't know where this came from. Love the show. Abby from Lincoln, 14. Abby Lincoln. Lincoln, Abbey, I've been there. She's a lovely girl, but very gothic. Yeah, Nimmy, when they do that thing when they know, she can imagine they go, Nimit, Nimit.

Yeah, we had this debate a long time. This is someone who's been trawling the old podcasts. We had, whether rabbits make her not. I've never heard a rabbit make any noise at all. No, thumping with their feet. Hence the nickname, thomper, probably. Oh, yeah. I thought of it.

I thought he had a heart problem. That was always my assumption. What else? Well, we've had another email in from Robert Delcini. I'm liking the sound of him. Is he in the Sopranos? Oh, I hope so. Is it mildly threatening?

Yes. Is there any error of menace in this email? Well, it's a curious email. Hi, Frank, Emily and Gareth. I'm on the train going to work in Melbourne, Australia. Oh, marvell. Someone has got on the train with two watering cans and a bag of lufers. What do you think he's doing?

I think he's probably mopping. up the tears of the Australian cricket fans. Oh! Well, what would he be doing? Two watering cans in a bag of... You know. I think it's an impromptu shower device. Yes. He might not have time quickly when he goes to work. He could have a quick

rub down. So he's going to go and say, I didn't have time for a shower this one, because somebody holds this watering can of bottom my head. And then he's going to loo for himself. He might do. Highly, highly unlikely. We've had a texting. Again, from Peter Parker. Really?

Yeah. He's on tonight. He says, you were talking about magicians before we went to that. And he says, magicians can't be anywhere near as bad as famous and fearless. Well, look, I don't like to criticise other people's shows. For goodness sake, this isn't perfect. And I've put out some awful television in my time. So, you know.

But I must say. I was asked to do both of those shows. I was asked to do famous and fearless. Were you? And I was asked to do magicians. And I watched, I think, Famous and Fearers. feel as is, you know, I think that's fine. But I was watching

magicians, and you know when you had these people interviewed who say, I was supposed to be at the World Trade Centre that morning but I overslept, and you see, you lucky, that's what I was thinking when I was watching this programme. That could have been me on there. My girlfriend said to me, if you'd have done this, I would have split

up with you. Well, respect to have that. That's what I call the review. Yeah. I would have quite liked to have seen you on one of those little mini scooters. Well, you're what about Famous and Fierce? I'm still on the magicians. I know.

I wanted to pull a rabbit out of a hat, but not a whole rabbit. Just the head. They weren't. They wouldn't have it. We've had the text about rabbits. Pointless rabbit fact for you. They make a squealing sound when attacked and a small grunting sound when showing aggression. Do they show aggression, rabbits?

That's from Charlotte. I don't know. Not often. Famous and fearless is, um, there's too much shouting for me. Yeah. I can't take that much shouting. From one person in particular.

Well, everybody's... I mean, I know it's in a big arena, but shouting, shout. It's one long shout. That's my quoted review on the post. One long shout, Frank Skinner. No. And I tell you what, it seems to be that one of the big features, something that is perceived as very exciting.

Is the audience counting something in? Seven. Six. And I thought, I was bored. You lost me at six. Can we stop now? Can we just fast forward? But no, four, three.

I said, no, I'm not at all excited. Please stop counting backwards. I mean, it's a main feature of the show, but, oh. I mean, I wouldn't have, who had fancy asking me as well, someone who is only just about famous, and certainly not fearless. Was it good money?

John, was it good money? My manager's in the room. Yeah. I can't remember. No, he can't remember. Well, it wasn't good money then. He didn't remember. No, he'd remember all right.

But, like I say, it's not. It's difficult making good television, so I've heard. You're quite a weird choice for famous and fearless, though, aren't you? As you say? Yeah, well, I don't think anyone would perceive of me as fearless. Would you ever do one of those reality shows, though? Can I just say, one of the stunts they did was driving through paper. I'd have been all right.

I would have been all right with that. There was a sheet of paper stretched across an archway, and they had to drive through it. And this guy said, the thing is, you know, you can't, obviously, you can't see what... This guy, that was Claire Boulding. Oh, my God. It wasn't Claire Boulding. No, no, no. It wasn't Claire Boulding.

Good. Yeah, so he said the thing is, you know, you can't, you know, you're driving blind here. And I thought, well, you are, because you can't see through paper. But it's only paper. Well, that's it. And Chris Evans said, well, I wouldn't do it. And I thought, well, why not? What, just do it?

And they did it. And it was very on spectator. I mean, they did it, seven, six, five, five. Four, three, two. Brilliant. God, that was great, everybody. What about that? What about a man driving through paper?

Straight through it and a tour. He wasn't worried about a paper cut or anything. I think there was a staple in there. He just ignored it. I mean, it just gives me a headache. So, um, Something happened to me on the way home from a gig this week that was a little bit unusual. I was in a service.

It was after the gig, he was in Andover, and I was in a service station. And the service station attendant man, man behind the till, said to me, he wasn't English. English was not his first language. He said to me, well, the first thing he said to me was, are you enjoying life? Are you enjoying life? That's a great question for a man in a garage. Yeah, and I was in a garage in Andover, so I was like, it's okay. Okay.

At the minute. And I said, are you? Do you feel he was lonely? He was definitely trying to spark up a conversation. He shouldn't do that on a garage four court. Could have killed you all. Okay. And he said to me, are you England?

And I said, part of it. Oh, clever. No, I said, I'm English. and he said, sort of said, I wonder if you can help. It's funny because he, you're speaking in broken English, but he did use some, so he wanted me, he communicated me that he wanted me to help him with the grammar of a message he was composing to a friend of his.

On a text, yeah? Not on a, it's written it on a piece of paper. That's going to go in a bottle. He's optimist. I think it might have been for a text, but I think he was drafting it. What's there a pigeon on the, just sitting on the top of the till? Wait, looking anxious. He was drafting a text on paper.

So he showed me what he had so far. Okay. I don't know if it was what he had so far or what he had received, but it was the start of the message. And it said, Boy failed in love keeps beard. Boy failed in love keeps beard. Well, that'll be a Tom Cruise.

Boy failed in love keeps beard. girl hides in her heart. And he said, is that, is that right? Are you sure this isn't a headline? He's copied out of the Daily Star. Boy failed in love keeps beard, but girl loses her heart. Yes. And he wanted me, and he said, is that, is it correct?

The grammar? Well, I like it. I like the idea that in a, in a tempestuous relationship, one person could lose their heart and another their beard. I like the way he switches from the physical to the emotional. Yes. No, he said the first bit, I think I know what you mean by that. Did you?

Did you? Did you? Well, because I think it means that, you know, if you're in a relationship, you might have to shave your beard off because your girlfriend might not like it. So you have to make compromises to be in a... And maybe that represents your masculinity, the beard.

At least you get to keep your beard if she's left you. You see, I fear that that might be a saying of some kind of... Yeah. Well, what was the second part? So Boykeek is... But then he said, but I think the third bit, the second bit,

and he said, is that right? But girl hides in her heart. And I said, well... Oh, girl hides in her heart. But girl... Oh, she should have hidden in his beer. He said... She wouldn't be the first.

I think it sort of sounds right, but it sounds like poetry. I'm not entirely, you know, it's... So what we drafted something, and he said he won... How long were you in the gallery? Well, there was a little while because he asked me for help,

and I'm a helpful person. You had a lot of time on your hands that evening. Yeah. What time was this about? This was about half-past eleven at night. Oh, that's creepy. Yeah. Well, at first I was a bit worried when he seemed to be keen to start up.

So at midnight, you were with this strange man, drafting text while your wife and child were at home. Drafting Valerie. It's not the kind of thing you see on crying much, is it when you see a CCTV from an all-night garage? Co-authoring. A no, a terrible case of co-authoring in Andover. I've never seen that

You see they're knocking him about Good on you for going in there And writing with him like that So I think what he said is that I think maybe he had received that And he wanted to reply back in a way And he said he wanted to bump his friend Oh

He wanted to bump him off the chat show No I think he meant like I want to shake him up Shake up, shake up what he thinks Oh I see Oh I hope that's what he meant We didn't mean as in come on and do the bum Do you remember the bumps or a 17th dance? I know the bump and grind.

Oh, bump and grind or the bumps. So what we drafted, so I got an idea of what he wanted to say, and this is what we came up with as the proverb that we were to send his friends. Oh, it's a proverb now? I think so. What, you've concocted it? I've polished it up. I've, like, put in some extra words.

So a boy who has failed in love keeps his beard. But if a girl... They've changed it at all. But if a second bit... And it's something different to the other one because he wants to say something but if a girl fails in love she'll find someone else

this is what he wanted to say. I don't think it's better, why does it make any more sense? I was better before Frank. Woman fails in love for she gets someone else. This is what he wanted to say to his friend I think that... Oh, that's going to cheer him out. You're right, it wasn't exactly a closure.

What I did is a policeman arrived. A policeman arrived? Not the pulmonary police. Who called the cops? And he served the policeman. And I said, can I take a picture of this? Because I wanted a record of the notes. He wouldn't.

And he said, why? And I said, just because I want, you know. The policeman? No, the man. Oh, right. And he turned then, I think. He got nasty. And then I left while the policeman was there.

Did you take a photo? Yeah, I took a photo. He's all right with that. Yeah. What worries me is that it could be some, you know, big relationship decision that you've contributed and you don't even know what you're saying quite. Some bloke could have left his life. Isn't that like everything in life? Well yeah but you know you could have broken a marriage

family and everything just on the strength of an ad hoc homemade proverb. I hate it when that happens. Look I just polished up the grammar. He really, he decided the meaning. Yeah well that's um my favorite proverb was always marine haste, repent at leisure. Oh, I like that as well. I love the idea of repenting at leisure. Well, I'm going to repent now.

So I'll just get me feet up, get me tracky bottoms off. You can go to the leisure centre. Yeah. On the water films? I don't say that as really like. Not for me. I'm frightened the water. They make it sound quite nice.

But the idea of getting cosy on the sofa and then really repenting about the fact that you got married. I think that's beautiful. Do you know what? I've never understood, Frank, because a friend in need is a friend indeed. Why you're, does that, you're not a better friend. because you've got a problem. I'd rather a friend without, who's not in need. No, I mean, I think it's a friend who is a friend to you when you are in need.

It's not made clear, though. It's really not made clear. A lot of them are confusing. Like, starve a fever. People think if you have a cold, you're supposed to starve you. That's what I've always thought. No, it means if you starve a cold, you'll feed a fever. Oh, I've never known that.

Yeah, it means if you don't eat when you've got a cold, it'll develop into a fever. I thought you should starve. Oh, I didn't. No, no. It's there any illness when you're supposed to starve? Yeah, it's called my life. But no, I didn't know. I didn't know that. I've always starved the cult. Oh, my God, I'm not doing that again.

You fall. Really? What does bird in the hand too in the bush mean, or whatever? You stay out of that. It's cold friends, viglers, radio days, I don't win days as it's stupid. I mean days as in the sevens of the week. So this is a takeout.

Thank you.