The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: Olympic Torch

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

It's still 2012 for our radio best bits with Frank, Emily and Alun. This time's highlights include the Jubilee Flotilla, an IEM about Will.I.Am and Frank's big news. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Frank Skinner's Radio Days. It comes... Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Radio Days. We're in 2012 for our best bits. This time, I have a very big announcement. Ooh. Something happened to me. How's your week being this week? I'll tell you what happened.

As you may know, I announced on the show a few weeks ago that my beloved girlfriend, Calf, was pregnant. Well, Tom. rolls on, of course. This week, as George Farnby said, I had to get up quickly in the middle of the night. And guess what?

This comes to pass. Everybody. When a child is born. Yes, I am a father. Oh. Congratulations. Thank you. It's very, very exciting.

It would have also been funny to play that and then goes, no news. Yeah. Exactly. She's left me, I can't find it. Can I just say, I worried we all went a bit baritone there, including me. But it's okay. Yeah, I don't. I think that's what. No one can get up there with Johnny Mathis.

No. I've always said that. So, yes, so I'm not going to, in case anyone now he's listening and doesn't have children and thinks, oh God, he's going to go on and on about it. I'm going to fight that urge. If I spoke about my son in detail, it would just collapse into, noises from me like, oh, so I'm not going to try and do that. But there are things I didn't know. I didn't know about the squeeze danger. Oh, Jill's Holland. Yeah. Why did he turn up? I know about that. Yeah. He had like a

sort of a toxino jacket on, but with jeans. Oh, I don't like that piano. Yeah. He seemed a bit awkward, actually, Jules. But anyway, no, I didn't know that when you're older, babe, there's a real temptation go, and just basically just squeeze them to their eyes pop. Oh, I did that, was that wrong? That's a rule. You have to fight there. But, no, it's brilliant. And

I should, anything else you want to know? He was nine pounds. He's a decent size, Frank. That's a great size. Yeah, well, apparently, David Bedillo, Sonis, when told that, said, is that how much babies cost? Yeah, not at the hospital we stayed. I tell you that much.

to brag and I know it's not a competition but I was £9 10 and I do take a great deal of pride in it which is weird because I had no control over that but for some reason I often find myself telling people my birth weight why do people always talk about the weight when I sent the text sorry you're asking me why do people always talk about the weight? No but the baby thing when you send the text off you've got to put the weight in that's absolutely we've had a congratulations text from 660 first one first one in well done 666 There's nothing like being congratulated by someone you only know as a nom. And also...

It's like working in coming in Russia. Frank, 131. I didn't know this. 1-3-1. I have 11 weeks to go before my wife produces our daughter. Our daughter. We've got any names yet? We're thinking 278. Oh, well, that's lovely. Well, it's all brilliant anyway. And it's very exciting. This is the name that I went for. Now I know celebrity types get condemned for giving their babies unusual and thinking names.

He's called Boz. Oh, I love it. B-U-D-Z. I love it, too. If you're my age, obviously he's after Boz Aldrin, the second man on the moon. A few youngsters listening. Yes, it's that puppet from Toy Story. Everyone's a winner.

But I'm thinking very much, Boz Aldrin, second man on the moon. I think that's a good thing to be named after this. Because let's face it, to infinity and beyond, is quite a tough one to live up to. And it's actually logically impossible. I don't know if you're aware of that. Yes.

But second man on the moon, it means, you know, you don't always have to be first. You don't always have to be the main man. Also, Buzz is way cooler than Neil. And he's way more interesting. Who needs to be the first man if you've got the coolest name? Exactly. And one of the reasons Neil was first is that he is fundamentally boring, isn't he?

I mean, he was really boring, like, dependably boring. Boz was definitely interesting. He's a bit more interesting. I interviewed Boz once, and he was brilliant. And when he walked on stage, I actually said to him, careful, there's just one small step. He took it very well, I must say. So his second name is Cody, as in Buffalo Bill Cody,

the greatest showman of all time. So I've worked out his career. Oh, yeah. I looked at him. I don't know many dads do this, but I looked at him. And, you know, you're supposed to say, oh, he's so blah. And I said, oh, God, he's going to be so funny when he goes. Noggett has said congratulations on the safe arrival of Master Radio.

Oh, I love that. I love that. This is what I'm going to play. If ever I should mention him again, I thought, when I say that his name is Boz, here he comes. If I was him, I'd get that on a little speaker And every time he enters a room Yeah, that's Master Radio

1-94 has texted Congratulations Enjoy the sleepless nights and the green poop Thanks very much Oh no, that was to me actually Oh, really? Got a lot on in the next few weeks There's some big night's plans

I think I already went through that in the 80s On my own There's a lot of people with sage advice who's oh yeah well done frank just watch out for the fountain when you change the nappies i'm i'm looking forward to that's it's thirsty work frank seven six two says congrats also you won the race with chris evans's wife i think you did in so many ways but that's well i'm i don't know if you know but when you're having a baby you go to a thing called the nc t group or a lot of people do and you sort of

learn about labor and all that i don't mean i'm in um ed milliband stuff that would be that would be tedious night out. But anyway, you learn about all this. And so there's a group of us, the seven, that was all in it together. And we were due to have the baby first. And then there was one premature one and one. So we actually came in third.

And I don't want to come in any later than third. Because we were talking about it the other night. There's already two born. And it's a bit like the chili and minors. Right, yeah, yeah. You know, it's really excited at first. The sixth or seventh one won't even get a card. I think it's the way it's going.

So I'm just glad he's out and he's well and his mother is out. The NCC, you're on the podium, at least. And the great thing about, yeah, great thing about maternity hospitals is that everybody is incredibly used to maternity, whereas obviously when you're in as an individual, especially for your first one, it's a massively life-changing thing. And Kath was already in mighty labour when we arrived. We had the exciting 5 o'clock drive across London with me,

very worried about her and slightly, worried about the upholstery. Yeah. And when we got in, we got in this lift, and the bloat was there, like the porter bloat. And she's squatting on the floor next to me going, and he said to me, so what do you think about Roy Hodson?

Our life. We've actually had an email in re, an idiotic eureka moment, our favourite things. This is from Andy in Finland. He's talking about where I am. He says, Dearish Frank Emily and Alan, I have...

Can I say Finland isn't the Scandinavian country? It's a shark-based theme park in Wilkshire. I had a disconcerting idiotic eureka moment the other day when I became conscious of the fact that Will I am... When I became conscious. Did we mention that he's been in a coma since the 80s? Will I am, sorry. I became conscious of the fact that Will I am

voice slash black-eyed beans, he said. Oh, he made a mistake. Oh, bless him he's from Finland. Back-eyed beans. I just assumed that was a little joke. I assumed he was doing a little joke joke. No, I think it's a mistake. It sounds to be like he hasn't got his finger on the pulse.

Is, in fact, just an alternative way of pronouncing the name William? That's a fabulous idiotic eureka mode. Can you look at that without thinking, oh, he's based that on William? That's great. He says it's made me consider restressing the syllables in my own name to form and are you. Oh, I see. But could anyone, I love the idea that that Andy's sitting there in Finland

looking at William and thinking, hold on a minute. Look if you look at it, saying to people, I just, look if you look at it like that, it's like it says William. I feel like we ought to tell him that Tom Jones is short for Thomas and Jesse is short for Jessica as well because these things aren't obvious to this guy. What's Jay short for? I don't know, I think that's probably just a made-up showbiz thing.

I think we should all do it. I think you could be Alan Cocker. It's a bit like cocko, huh, you see. Oh, it's horrible. Yeah. I could actually do it because I've got an eye in the middle of my name. M.I. Lie. Perfect.

Oh, nice. M.I. Lye sounds like a very up front branch of the secret services. So, Frank, there's been some new Olympic torch updates this week. You might have to keep me up with the news. I've slightly missed out a bit. Well, I know you're a fan of the torch. It was spotted with Will I Am. Will I am, of course.

Yes. I don't have you ever noticed. But Will I am? It's like William. It's just like sort of broken down. No way. Is that from the black-eyed beans? Oh, finish.

Can I ask you, have any of the papers used the headline this week? Few, what a torture. No. Oh, well, they have missed it. Opportunity missed. It's a massive trick they have. So he went running with it through Taunton, or Taughton, as he called. called it.

Right. Yes. He likes a tort. He was tweeting a lot, though. He said some brilliant things. He's been criticised for the tweeting, hasn't it? I don't think you want Olympic torch in one and mobile in the other, dear. Well, it seems a bit churlish to criticise him for,

because at least he's tweeting about, he's doing the publicity for the torch, isn't he? He's going, this is so excited, I'm carrying the torch. It's not like he took a call from his mum and was like, you know, I've just got to run with this blooming to torch. Just the name Pictorge. And he P.R. But I liked it. He said he was thinking of Michael Jackson.

And then he said he got... What that time he caught fire? Yeah. And then he got a bit paranoid about name dropping. He said, I don't want to time Jones it. I love that Jonesing it is now a verb for name dropping. Stop jonesing it. And he also said he said he wouldn't be selling it on eBay.

It was going in his house. And then he says, as the decorum is gold. and brown in his house. Oh, really? The decorum, yeah. He's decorum. He is, I have to say, I have absolutely grown to love him on the voice. Yeah.

Because I think, I've always associated cool. You get so cold, you get cold. You know what I'm saying? Yes. But he's extremely cool, but also seems like very cuddly and funny and all that. Oh, he's my kind of guy. And also, he's nagging, apparently. It's a lot like William, but it's not.

Will I. Do you ever know that American comic who's name is Billiam? No. Yeah. Fabulous amalgam of the abbreviation and the full name. I can't remember his surname, but yeah, Billiam. Frank, the torch went out, though. It's rubbish, that torch.

What's the point? That's not an eternal flame. It can't just go out. It's like swimming the channel and stopping for a spa break every five minutes. I think it should be. Do you remember those sort of bent wire things and you used to have to move a metal thing around you? And if there was that, you had to go back to the beginning.

Yeah. I think if the torch goes that, you have to go back to Athens. That's what it's supposed to be, isn't it? It's got a lot of publicity, and it's not actually as good as the torch app on my iPhone that I love. I love the torch. I'm sure I've talked to before about how much I love. Is it when you can just use it as a torch? Yeah, it's brilliant.

It's genuinely great. Yeah, but cinema trips or lost keys or... But you want the flat. What they should have gone for is just, you know, you know the red and yellow paper that you get on those sort of mock flame things. sometimes in restaurants. I should have gone for one. Also, watch the Olympic tour. It just makes me think, wouldn't it have been more spectacular if this had been done at night?

Yes. It reminds me when they celebrated a hundred year of the hawthorns at West Bromwich and they had fireworks before the kick-off, three o'clock kick-off. And nothing, there was just noise and a slight smell of gunpowder in the air.

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Sure, they'll process, predict, even get work done autonomously. But they don't dream, read a room, rally a team, and they certainly don't have shower thoughts, pivotal hallway chats, or big ideas. People do. And people, when given the best AI platform, they're freed up to do the fulfilling work they want to do. To see how ServiceNow puts AI to work for people, visit ServiceNow.com. I need to get off my chest about the Jubilee Flitla. Oh yeah. So the Queen, she didn't sit on the throne.

She wasn't sitting on that throne, Frank. She was standing. Still laughing at that. Every time. Every time I hear of it. Absolutely. Did you? I watch the whole thing. Did you really?

I did all 1,000 boats. I liked it. There was a thousand boats. I'd say 30 of them had any interest for me whatsoever. 970 of them I could absolutely take all leave. Did you watch them on the telly even though they were going past your flat? No, I watched them go past my flat, but I had the telecommonstein in case they told me anything interesting. Oh, lovely.

Nice, yeah. I combined it. Like on New Year's Eve. Yeah. I can see the fireworks from my flat, but I like to get the time check absolutely spot on. Yeah, I think you can combine reality and the dream. Yeah. But things that, I mean, it was, I like, it wasn't the Pope.

When the Pope came over Lambeth Briggs, that was brilliant. And is that now the yardstick by which you judge all river activities? He didn't need boats. He just had one sort of modified ice cream van. And it was brilliant. And also the Queen, don't you think the Queen slightly nicked his outfit with that all white? Yes. He also didn't need a Paschmina.

No. He braved the elements. No. But I did, when she went past, I thought, oh yeah, why don't you just report? off the Pope's stage gear. It was like... When Kylie Vinot had a period of wearing

like a goatee-style basque on stage in the vapour trail of Madonna. Yeah, definitely. And you thought, no, you've got to go, you know, follow your own groove. That's what I was saying to the Queen. I mean, you know, she couldn't hear me, but I was saying it out there.

I went out this week. So first time I've been allowed out socially since my baby was born. and I celebrated that most heterosexual of all acts fatherhood by seeing Liza Manelli live. Oh, lovely. You love a diva. Yes, covering both bases.

She was live at Hampton Court Palace. Oh. Beautiful setting, obviously. Well, you don't have to sell Hampton Court to me. No, well, I was a little bit sulky about the Reformation at the beginning of the evening, but, you know, I just thought, no, come on. Move on. Put that behind you.

And it was fantastic. fabulous. We arrived. I went with a friend because, because Cass, well, first of all, she's obviously busy with a baby, but also she hates Liza Manelli. It's a very strong response. It is. She actually got seasick, she claimed, last time we saw her life, because she said it was so like a cruise ship, which I thought was cutting in the extreme. I love Liza Manelli. So I took a friend who also loves Emma And we were given Jamie Oliver Hampers Oh lovely, can you imagine it?

Obviously mainly full of confiscated turkey twizzlers Did they still confiscate actually? Does that still happen at schools? The things get confiscated. I believe so. No, because kids turn around and say, I know my rights now. Yeah, I think they're probably doing. Yeah.

Oh, Wright. I remember when Wrights used to be used to spring political prisoners from Central American detainee centers. And now it's like if a burglar gets shouted at a bit loud by the householder. How did that happen? Anyway, I don't know how we got to there from Liza Manila. It's a funny old show, isn't it? In many ways. Not every way. I'll accept that. I'll tell you that something is that one thing that people end up now asking me about my child

and commenting on his name, regular listeners to the show will know that he's actually called Buzz, which is, thanks Daisy for letting me down again on the timing wise. But, so some people respond to it in quite a negative way, but I met Sir David Frost. I mean, I've met him before, obviously. Well, we once had dinner at Sam Andrew Lloyd Webber's house. But anyway, I met Sir David Frost, and we chatted, and he said, Oh, you've got a child now, and I said, yeah.

And I see what he said, he said, you're a bit of a late start. I said, I'm a bit of a late starter. He said, no, no, you're not a late starter. How old are you? I said, 55. He said, oh, no, you are, you are a latex after him. Oh, okay, that's that plain. That's flattering, though, in it?

But I said, what, that I look young, you mean? To Sir David Frost, we all do. He's quite ancient. Yeah. Brilliant, though. It's very exciting meeting him. Yeah. But anyway, I, you got even more excited.

Because I said he's called Boz, named after Boz Aldrin, the astronaut. He said, oh, he said, I presented that moon landing for ITV. Best response ever to the night. name. And he still remembered the ratings figures. Of course he did. Yeah, he said it was one of the few occasions when ITV and BBC have shown the same event, and ITV won on ratings. He said, and we got three times more. Really? He said, and I'll tell you why. And then he gave me a little bit of a TV background in the match.

That's someone that's worked in telly a while, but there's the numbers on everything that's done that grow. But who presented the moon landing. Oh, absolutely fantastic. Did you watch it with a whippets? Is that right? I watched it with a wippet. He watched it with a Peter Cook, I think, was in the studio. They had a sort of a moon panel. No doubt smoking.

Everyone would have been smoking. Oh, yeah. They made comical remarks. Excellent. About the moonland, you know. How fantastic. So that's the best thing anyone's said to me this week. So, yeah, so she was sitting in front of us, Vanessa.

I didn't recognize her, actually. Vanessa Feltz. At Liza Minnelli. Yes, thanks for... Thanks for... That's lovely professional recap. You're assuming everyone joins on the hour. In a very formal fashion.

Get the blazer on and the chinos. It's 10 to, but let's wait until the actual hour before we go in. Sitting in their little Chesterfield. I'll be bound. I like the idea they come in on the news. Yeah. So that Sandy War is a ramp to me just to get them used to the human voice. Yeah, that'd be good.

She's got the best voice on radio, I think. She has. It's like Bailey's. It's like bailies. Meanwhile, over in Hampton Court with Venetta Delta Liza and Ellie. There's a woman sitting in front of us

who just was on her phone. You know, I've talked about this before, light pollution during a gig. People think if they're unsilent, it's okay to tweet, text, look at their emails, go smartphone, check the reading for next week's mass. I see, it's probably only me,

Yeah, I think that's only you. But, and this woman, it was a constant pool of light just in the corner of my eye, you know, really annoying. And I said, God, why is that woman come? She's just on the phone. I said, oh, that's Vanessa. Oh, was it? And, but I couldn't really complain because I'd already been shushed by a man of theatrical tendencies. Because when Liza did, um, um, ladies, uh,

You know, he's a tramp, and I love him? You know, that song from Lady's a Tram. She did a brilliant verse, you know. He's a tramp, but I love... I couldn't resist two verses in going, Ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro. You didn't. I just couldn't.

You didn't even know I was doing it. By the time she'd got to the... He's a tramp, and I was going, oh, oh, man. I just couldn't... It's impossible to hear someone. Please tell me you're joking. I'm not joking. Oh, my God.

It's impossible to hear someone sing that song without going, Oh, hr, hr, hr, er. It's possible for everybody else there, though, wasn't it? It's possible for any human being, to not bark like a dog throughout that song. No, but that song is what is so profoundly associated with canine backing vocals. I don't know anybody. You'd have thought the whole crowd would have gone,

at least, R. On the, he's a travel, I love him. Oh. Anyway, speaking of Broken Britain, what about David Cameron and his child neglect? I know. Well, you say neglect. What do you say?

Well, I say welcome to my childhood. Okay. So he left his eight-year-old child Nancy in the... In a pub? In the bozo. Yeah. So first of all, she was in a pub, which we might question. But then they forgot her when they left.

Well, they were there with other friends, weren't they? Oh, that's all right, then. And the security teams. And I think the story from Cameron's lot was that he got in the car with the security people. His politics are coming out now, Frank. No, no, no. The security people took Cameron home and Samantha took the other children home and she thought he had the girl.

Yeah. And he thought she had the girl. Yeah, well, that's not what I heard. Let's put it that way. No, it's, I personally think that it's just, it's a weird thing in it because everyone's saying, oh, Cameron lost the girl. I see it as that the girl, escaped for 15 minutes.

She got away from it. Maybe she wants to leave. Perhaps she thinks his politics are in since then. I heard there have been a big row. Apparently Nancy looked up from her trifle and said I feel that there should be a period of growth to re-establish the economy before we start cutting public services.

And also, I was never happy with those people from News International coming round horse riding. And then she stormed off to the toilet and Cameron left in a hofer. And Sam Cam was still, saying no, leave her. No, leave her! Leave her if she wants to be like, no, leave her. And it took about five miles for Sam Cam to talk him out of it, and they went back. That's what I heard. I don't know, you know, gossip is, it's cheap, isn't it?

Fun. And also fun. Frank, I'm not done. Read the pub and the Cameron Child. Okay. The thing I found most alarming was one of the papers said she was found helping staff in the pub. I betty he found that alarming. Oh, my God. You turn you back for ten minutes.

They've crossed the class barrier. I should never have sent her to the States School. We'll never get it. We'll never tease her into a food fight at university now. She'll be serving it. She won't be wearing a claret blazer. Claritino, I'm sorry. Little Nancy has broken the mould.

Brilliant. But that happened to me quite often. I'd get mislaid. I mean, there was no sort of malice behind it. No. It happened to me in Harrod's once. In Harrods? Yes.

Okay. Yes. How long were you left? Well, quite some time. I think I'd gone on a bit of a toy rampage. I was running around the toy department. Yeah. But yeah, I seemed to me.

It was quite a while. I don't know where my mum... Was there an announcement? There was an announcement. It used to be quite common in the shops, announcements. A small child is here. But you don't hear it now. You get it in shopping centres.

I think they do codes so as not to alarm people. What, that Mr. San? Yeah. You know, in theatres, if there's a fire, they say, he's Mr. Sand in the building. Somebody said that Mr. Smoke was one of them. I said you're, you need one that's a bit more difficult to work out than Mr. Smoke is in the building. Oh, good. They have one in London Underground.

Mr. Inferno. If there's been a fowling of some sort. A fouling, yes. What's that? Or something like, would Mr. Orange please come to the, yeah, they have all sorts of code words. I think when I worked in a nightclub, if there was a fight on the dance floor, they'd say something like, could Mr. Black go to the dance floor or something like that? All the bounces would start running.

Trouble on the dance floor? They couldn't say there's trouble on the dance floor, could they? Oh, that's a pity. That is a pity. I don't think I was ever left by my parents. Partly because they were very caring and attentive, but mainly because we never went anyway. I don't think we, I don't remember leaving my garden.

for about eight years. But I got lost, coming back from my Auntie Ethel's, I went to Auntie Ethel's with my mom, and I got a bit bored, and she said, oh, we'll go back then. It was only like probably half a mile up the road, and I got completely lost. Because I get lost all the time, as you know,

and then as a child. I got utterly and completely lost and got back about two hours later, by which my mom had returned home. I don't remember there been a massive kerfuffle

I seem to remember it Where have you been I got lost Oh I remember it being like that And had you been terrified Because it's really scary

As a kid to be lost I loved it Did you I felt very free and independent I didn't mind it I think it was then That I developed The little boy lost look

Which has stood me in good stead For my whole adult life So every cloud Now hold on I've got a new boy lost got a new jingle for emails. Just stick around. Email corner. This is

one I impromptu did last week, and Daisy, our producer, captured it like one might a feral creature. Email corner. Whether it was worth the effort, of course we can debate till the cows come home. I like that you edited out me saying, oh, God, afterwards. I think that was a good idea. This is from Libby Lumley.

I'm already liking. Well, she's something of a troubadour, a traveller. She says, I've downloaded your podcasts while living and working in the Bahamas, Hong Kong, Michigan, China. Wow. And for the last 18 months, on a little island in St Vincent and the Grenadines. Brilliant. Well, she'd been stockpiling all the podcasts to keep her amused on her journey back. For six weeks, I sailed back to the UK on a 60-foot schooner

and spent many hours listening to your amusing chats, whilst being violently ill in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean during a gale. Oh dear. I must have been made violently ill by a large schooner. On many occasions when I used to have sherry for breakfast. Carry on. There were quite a few times when I thought I might not make it back to land alive. Oh, blimey. And one of the many thoughts on why this would be a shame

would be that I'd never find out the news on the birth of Frank's child. What? So when we finally hit land, the Azores, Yes. I downloaded the missing podcast and heard the wonderful news of the safe arrival of buzz. Congratulations, Frank and Kath. Oh, absolutely lovely. That's from Libby. Libby Lomley?

Libby Lomley from Oxford. I like Libby Lomley. It sounds like... I can't actually say what it sounds like Libby. Right. It gives me eCops. We've had an email titled An IEM, Idiotic Eureka Moment, which is those moments where you realise that something... us, yeah. Hello Frank, the lovely

Emily and Alan brackets, look, I spelled it right, I hope you are duly impressed. Alan with a U. You should write a version of that, like Liza with a Z. Yeah? She's a Liza, my only song. Oh yeah, it's Alan with a U, not Alan with an A, because Alan with U spells

Alan. That would be quite camp if he did that every time he said his name. It would be quite camp. It'd be another mighty leap from a childhood of martial arts. This is the idiotic eureka moment that this person has had, Gareth. I have only just realised that things like Bet365 and Football 365 are related to there being 365 days in a year. I was previously incredibly confused why websites always put the same random number in their name. I feel both relieved and ashamed by this.

That's Gareth, who presumably is also confused by the number of shops called 24-7. Well, 7-11. Did that used to open at 7 and close at 11? Is that how that worked? No, because I was often waiting outside there at about half-7 when I had a late one and it sometimes wasn't open. Oh, well, I see. Well, that's Gareth who sent, that he?

Yes. Do you think Gareth listens to absolute 80s and thinks, God, some of this is what? 30 years old? We've had an email in. in a continuation of email corner. We've had an email correspondence with an email email, email, oh.

The medieval town cry is back. Dear Frank Allen and Emily, I was on the bus to town this week with some friends and we started discussing who we'd pick as our celebrity mum and dad. After much thought and deliberation, I decided on Delia and Frank. Delia Smith, I presume. Yeah.

for the obvious reasons of the cooking. And she seems like she'd always be able to pick you up from a party. And Frank, because... Always seemed like she should be driving as far as I've seen. Some of the clips. When she started early. It's been happening, yeah. We've all seen that.

Oh, yeah, that's true. And Frank, because I could be taught to play the banjo. Yucala. It's actually the ukulele. Okay. And I can imagine there being a healthy balance of discipline and genuine happy chappiness. Yeah, that sums up.

Most of my relationships. This got me wondering. So I'd have to marry Delia, though, to do this. Yes. Yes. You see, Ledesby Avenue is not so funny when it's coming from someone on silk sheets in a negligee. I'd find that intimidating the extreme. Be a good Catholic upbringing, no.

She goes to Mass every day. Is that true? Is that she? Oh, she loves the communion. Yeah, she does. French toast, I think she actually goes for. This is, she's called Amina. She says this got me wondering...

Amina or a minor? No, Amina. Okay. Don't dis my pronunciation again. This got me wondering, who would the team pick as their celebrity mom and dad? Well, certainly, in my drinking days, I think I'd have gone for the Camerans. I was saying that celad parent's email. I like the fact that the lady picked Frank based on the idea that there would be discipline and cheeky chapiness.

It's almost like she's a parent already and she knows, well, they do need someone. some discipline. Oh, they need some discipline. You can't let them... You can't let them run, right. Love and Boundaries, that's all that is. I also like... ...to parent hour on absolute radio.

Love and boundaries, I like it. That's it in a nutshell. I believe that's the title of Andrew Strauss, his autobiography. I like that she had a little caveat at the end of the email and she said, it doesn't matter if they've passed. Which I thought was useful.

What? She means the celebrity parents. Oh, you can have dead celebrity pair. It doesn't matter if they've passed. Oh, okay, fair enough. Is what she says. I might have the Brownings. Do you want to know who? The Brown.

Robert and Elizabeth. Lovely. I think I'd go for, as acknowledgement of, you know, times have changed, I think my celebrity parents would be the communards. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, what sort of civil partnership? Yeah, because Richard Coles is a priest now, isn't he? Yes. So, yes, you get your, spiritual and Jimmy Somerville. It'd be nice to have a parent who always spoke highly of you. Oh, that's not him.

Yeah, but yeah, I'd quite... That was Yaz. That was Yaz, yeah. I, yeah, I'd quite go for being the child of a civil partnership. Do you know, so would I, Frank, I'd like Henry the 8th as a father. Hear me out. I know you think you might be quite a disciplinarian. Yeah, the dinners would be good.

Well, also, I think I'd be very good running around corridors in a corset. I think I would have been good at court. Yeah. Yeah, but Henry the Ait's father, you're liable to lose an eye from a flying chicken egg. No, I would have manipulated him. Okay. And I would have liked, if this was possible, I know they weren't around at the same time. No.

But I think him and Got Kwan quite a good civil partnership. God, didn't Henry the A. alienate the Pope enough without marrying Gok Juan. We could talk our way out of being murdered. We'd be quite a team. Yeah. I think it would be great.

I'd have to say something like 9th time lucky or 10th time lucky or something. No, well that would... I don't think anyone's going to come up with anything much more unusual there in with the acting Gok Juan. Surely if you're having a civil partnership as your select parents, Ant and Eck. They're cheeky charity.

That's true, actually. And then they get on, I shouldn't think there'd be much falling out at home. You'd get to meet a lot of the people that are like Vogue, wouldn't you? You'd have to wear quite big trainers. Yes. You'd have to wear those black and grey type jackets buttoned up that they wear, like a big jeans. And I don't know if I'd like that. Paul Daniels and Fiona Bruce.

Because she's nice and knows about antiques and stuff. And when he does tricks, that'd be quite good if you were a kid. but also she's got that arched eyebrow thing so she'd look surprised whenever he did his magic tricks. You've really gone for this. I think that's a good idea, don't you? Have you got a long list of other people? Fiona Bruce and Paul Daniels.

I think you might have just edged Henry the 8th and Gokwa. In the weirdness front. God, I thought, Comming not starting to sound a bit middle of the road. It's cold friends, radio days, I don't know days, isn't stupor, many days as in a seven for the weeks, oh this is a take not a blooper.