The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: Red or Black

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

It’s 2011 with Frank, Emily and dear Gareth. Frank has been insulted but didn’t realise, there’s old fashioned insults and Gareth makes a big announcement. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and this time we're discussing a new TV show, Red or Black. I remember it. Enjoy. Hey, so I know what I wanted to ask you guys. Have you heard about this show called It's Simon Cowell's new project, and I love a new cow project. Because everything he does is good, generally, isn't it? Is it the American X-Factor, I think, with?

Oh, no, this is called Red or Black. Oh, yes. Do you know Red or Black? Yes, I watched this morning Omnibus on Saturday morning. Is it Saturday or Sunday morning? I don't know. I've never watched it. He's never watched this morning Omnibus? No. Because that was Pippi Schofield.

Pipi Schofield and not Holly Willoughby, someone else, someone from Lou Swimming. Is it someone Welsh, it normally is? I didn't have the sound up. Obviously. Well, I wouldn't be out to hear my own snide remarks. No, I didn't know who she was, but she seemed perfectly nice person. But anyway, Ant and Dec were on.

Oh, were they talking about red or black? And they were talking about, yeah. And it's the first time it's ever stopped me that Anten Deck are getting a bit older. Yeah. Because they were talking about... They used the phrase, I don't know if I've got this right, actually.

They said, oh, they're talking about Redden. They said, yeah, someone sent us the sizzler, and we watched that. I think they said sizzler. And they said, that's the sort of little taster of the thing, which is supposed to get you excited. Oh, yeah. And an aunt said, you know, what's the best one I've ever seen, and we thought we must be involved with that.

And suddenly they sounded like TV moguls. They sounded like a pair of moguls. Yeah, they shouldn't be moguls. No, and they just, I just felt now that they're kind of astute, businessmen, you know, rather than young, lovable lads. They've gone a bit gaudy fat cats. Well, you're funny you should say that, because they had a clip of the last time they were on

when they broke into the studio collecting souvenirs for comic relief. I don't if you remember that prank. Oh, I laughed. And Aunt picked up a big piece of cake and went, oh, I've had some kick. And then he took a tiny, tiny nibble like he thought, oh, better watch my weight. And you don't want Aunt to be watching his weight.

No. But anyway, they were very excited. I'm excited about Red or Blackguards. I have, yes. It's based on Roulette. Is that right? Well, it is Roulette, essentially, I think. Is it?

Not a great show for television, I would have thought. Rulet. Well, there's ten stages, I think, which each stage will be a 50-50-something that could go either way. Sorry, a 50-50-something that could go either way. Yeah, lots of people start off, and then there's ten stages, and then it gets finally gradually cut down to fewer people. Yeah, but what?

You should have pitched that, because, That is brilliant. Oh, I think that was the sizzler, and that they watched. It was Gareth, just sat that into Canberra in the darkly lit room. That would have won me over. Yeah. What, the best sizzler, I've ever seen one.

Well, if I just said, and Simon Cowell thought of it, and if you don't be in it, he'll destroy you, then the best of a bit. Well, I don't understand. The premise of this show, then, is someone every week going to say, all right, is it red or black? It's black. All right, no, it's red. Sorry, mate, that's all we got time.

That's basically. That's what it is, isn't it? No, that's what Simon says, that's what live TV is. all about. People might not even win and yeah. I know, but it's not that they won't win. It's a quiz shows. It's like you take egg heads. There's some quiet testing questions

in that. Not red or black. It's suggesting that people are now so stupid. They probably don't have to get. What do he probably does? He probably holds up a card which is either red or black and they have to identify which one it is.

It seems to be absolutely looking down. and on the public and regarding them as complete imbeciles. In fact, it's the very idea. It's what's made, Simon Cowell, such a rich man. Do we need a show that does that after Britain's got help? Well, he's stripped away all the nonsense, hasn't it? He's never just saying, we're acknowledging your idiots for some money.

Just come on and just point at something and we'll give you some money, or we won't. I'll be the judge of that. Apparently, is it true it's taking place in Wembley Arena? Because roulette wheels are only about 22 inches, and I, Is it Wembley or... Oh, it's going to be a bit famous and fearless. But you can't see if you're up in the... How are you going to see that?

He's going to be a really big one. Who's going to be a really big role? Why do you speak so confidently about the show? You can make the Sizzler. I've done research. Yeah. Yeah. And your new work, Sizzler host.

Imagine if that was Gareth's part-time tour. Garretter's brackets. Sizzler host. No, and there's going to be some... It might not even be sizzler. I might have got the word wrong, but who cares, it is sizzling out in our little studio. There's going to be one thing where there's two rockets,

a red rocket and a black rocket, with a person attached to it. What? And people, yes, and Simon says that he will be attached to the rocket. Simon Cowell will be on a... Yeah, he'll be on a rocket. He won't be attached to a rocket. A little black head.

sticking out. Or red hair do, depending what week. Well, no, he'll have to be the black one and then someone, I guess, what's the name? What's the name? Sharon Osborne can be the red one. Oh. You're taking it very literally the red or black.

That could just be the tip of the cannon. It doesn't have to be the hair colour. Well, I was watching Eggheads this week and you know my... Stop going on about it because it's the fourth time you've mentioned it today. You know, one of my pet hates. A guy was asked a question and And he said, oh, a bit before my time, really. Oh, it's your worst thing, but.

Oh, memory confused with history. Oh, man. And on eggheads, you know, which has got high standards, and they let it pass. Oh, man. I help. Get off, eggheads. Get off. Go on.

Get off. I wish that's what they'd have done. That big one with the rugby shirts and the sideburns, Chris. What on eggheads? Yeah, I wish you'd have done mouth around him out. Why are you talking to us like we know? Do you not watch it? No.

Is it the same people every week? Why are you saying that big one with the rugby thing? The eggheads? They're the eggheads. Oh, they're the same cast of characters then every week. There are a couple that sit in down again. Actually, Frank, I tell her like... Judith Dimmond is an egghead.

Yes. The woman who won millionaire, she was an egghead. She's my wood but shouldn't. If you remember when we talked about wood but shouldn't... Goodness. Yes, I do, but I didn't recall you mentioning her. Yeah, but I must have said that 18 months ago. Okay. No, it would but couldn't

But, yeah, well, anyway, we're not talking about it. So do you think this will be, this will do well this? There'll be no general knowledge questions or, it says there'll be no physical challenges though, but what's the rocket then? Well, you, I think it'll be, I don't know. Okay, I guess it will be which one. I don't think that was in the sizzler. So that's the thought.

I only know the information they've given it. Yeah, exactly. It's all auto-cue. I like that it says there'll be no. No general knowledge questions, all physical challenges, just red or black. It doesn't tell you much. I don't know. And Simon Cowell just giving away a million pounds every week, that's just because he can, isn't he?

It's probably not ITV's money. That's just the injunction. It's probably something he's found in his gardening trousers. It's probably for tax purposes. He probably needs to get, shift some of it. It's his version of that moment on family fortunes when Les Dennis used to say, and if it's there, I'll give you the money myself. But Simon Cowell really would.

I used to love it when Les said that. It was subverting the whole quiz show, I did. Oh, I love that show. The host, the host, he's going to break through the system and start handing out money from his own pocket. It's going on, Les. No good will come of it. You'll be glad of that money one day, and sure enough.

Well, I look forward to seeing it. We've taken all where radio shows and done a bit of editing and tightening It's a walk-down memory lane I know because people Find new things quite frightening I've been out on the town this week In a fabulous showbiz

And I have to say I had an occurrence Oh dear, are you all right? Well, I was out I was on the red carpet Outside the Garrick Theatre In the West End of London That's a Thespi red carpet

Slightly different Very Thespi And it was the opening night of Pygmalion Oh, yes. And so I was standing there, and I'd been invited by a friend who's a female friend who works in the theatre. So I arrived alone, and then they said to me various paparazzi, people went, Frank, Frank, Frank, for photographs, you know. So I stood there, and I said to a, oh, you come and get in the photographs, and I stood with, did photographs with this woman. And then one of the photographers, as it subsided at the end,

and being photographed by the paparazzi is a bit like kissing you want to be the one who breaks away first ideally you don't want to be there for the last flash and then relax in just normal light and then leave and then you know Trevor as Trevor McDonald comes up behind me exactly and I don't want you know who got a BAFTA for being able to read out loud so congratulations to Trevor if he's I shouldn't think he's up before about one

No, it's quite lous Yeah, it's quite loose So anyway, so as I was leaving One of the paparazzi It's quite a sort of a If you can imagine a downhill daddy warbox Type of figure Says to me

Oh, you can take your daughter inside now And I laughed And I went in And I started watching Pygmalion And about 20 minutes in I thought, hold on a minute For all he knew That could have been my girlfriend

Or wife Yeah, well exactly And then it would have been, it was actually a terrible, scathing insult. It could have caused a lot of problems. And isn't it horrible when you don't realise the insult until after us? It's too late to do anything about it. Do I live in with me? Yeah.

Well, it's, shall I? Oh, go on. No, I don't want people saying, take your mother inside now. Oh, it was a show. You better hurry. Me and David Bidil coming at you this morning. But it was very, it was very, fine in lots of other ways.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Kara Tointon. Now, she's what I call STH. Do you know what that stands for? I hope it's not very badly put together anagram. No. It's surprisingly talented Hottie. Yes.

Because she's actually a very good actress. I have to say she was a very good Eliza Doolittle in the in Pygmalion. And I spoke to her after. I did a strange thing, actually, because she had a mirrored dress on. A dress with proper sections of actual glass mirror.

Very directional. I mean, how you'd wash something like that, I don't know, I imagine it's sort of two parts Lenore, one part winderly. But anyway, I spoke to it, and I realised, as I was, I was absentmindedly, I just had a, what do they call those little hors d'oeuvres? Canapes, darling. I had a canopoe. Yeah, canopause. And it's had a mint leaf in it. I ate the lot, I don't care. I thought, mint leaf, lovely, I won't have to claim my teeth now.

But, of course, it left quite, you know, it can leave quite a bit of green in the teeth. And I found... Especially in your teeth, right? Well, my teeth hold food like, um... Like, um... Birmingham teeth. Yeah.

And as I was speaking to it, I caught myself absent-mindedly checking my teeth in a dress. I don't know if that's altogether polite, is it? And what a strange coincidence, Because someone told me that they'd been for dinner with Michael Stipe was. And at the end of the meal, he'd picked up a knife and checked his teeth in the knife. And I met Michael Stipe, and I asked him about this. He said, oh, yeah, he said, I learnt that from Audrey Hepburn.

And of course, Audrey Hepburn played Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. And the whole thing comes around in my end is my beginning, as I believe T.S. Eliot said. Is that how he puts... You know how Michael Stipe has just a thin line of blue makeup across his eyes? is that because he uses the knife and he thinks, oh, I've done it all now but that's the only bit he can see. Frank's Radio Base, Frank, we've had some texts in

already this morning. Frank, it's a good thing you didn't realise the comment by the paparazzi was an insult straight away, or you may have snapped. Oh! They're off. Very good. This is from the iPhone user app.

We don't need to know how they sent it, darling. Is that a pub? Very poorly named pub, and it's a bit of a last minute thing. What we're going to call it? Oh, um... Hold on, what's in my pocket? The iPhone user app. Arms.

Hi, everyone. Please mention the Rug family in Sweden. Have a great day. Who's that from? That's from Barry Rugg. Barry Rugg, oh, it's been a while. It's been a while. We don't normally, you know, Scott.

We mention them. In what context? Actually, I think it's, it says Absolute Radio 80s. I think it might be absolute 80s. Oh. Well, he sounds quite, he sounds more absolute 70s, Barry Rugg. We don't get many Barry's these days. If Barry Rugg walked in on his wife and she was with another man,

would he pull the rug from under him? It's all right, you won't hear that. He's listening to absolute 80s now. He's probably boogieing on down to Howard Jones. A bit of Lamar. Frank, we've had a correctione from John. Oh. Hi, Frank.

There's no such word as paparazzi's. Paparazzi is the plural of paparazo. Good story, though. John, that's your manager. Well, if that was a good story, what's bear wolf? What's Gawain and the Green Knight? What's the pearl? Anyway, thanks for that correction.

So if I said there's more than one paparazzi, I say there's paparazo. I think you'd sound awful if you said that. I'd stick to how you were. I was in a cafe with a man once. It ordered Du Hay Cappuccini, an English man. At least you didn't say Cup of Tino. Cup of Chino? I have heard that.

I'd be happy with that. I'd prefer ignorance to grandness. I don't like drinking trousers. A cappuccino is on fire No he's actually on fire But don't worry It's going to be everything will be fine Paul O'Cray D was at the opening night

At Pygmalion Oh was he? Oh yes he was And Now you get on quite well with him, don't you? Well, we have a common love Northern canines No

Oh, okay Popeye Really? Yeah he's both big Popeye enthusiast. Well, what do you know? How did you discover this? Well, Al Morrie was, he was our go-between. Oh, he got involved. Yeah, because apparently Paul O'Grady mentioned Popeye to him. I think he actually mentioned olive oil. But it's a terrible misunderstanding.

And Al-Morri said you should talk to Frank Skinner. He's a big Popeye fan. And so we bonded over that. I like it. Who'd have thought, Paul O'Grady? It's quite surprising. I'm quite a fan of O'Grady though Yeah Oh God, he's a legendary figure now And my old dresser was there Ray I did a play in the West End at the Whitehall Theatre

And in the second half at one point A woman forces me to cover myself in tomato puery I'm just there in my pants And I cover myself And she makes me go right down below And completely cover me in the audience down But I'm so I'm plastered and then they had to do a quick scene change

so I'd race into the wings and Ray, my dresser and he would set about me with wet wipes and I'd do the under the panda area and he'd do the rest of me yeah he was there he was telling me about who he'd worked with a comedian who and they were doing it like a pantomone

it wasn't going at all well very quiet crowd and the audience said and the comedian said to him well God I'm going to have to I'm going to have to ask for ask for around for the police police. And he said, what? He said, yeah, that's what you do with the quiet crowd. So he stopped the action. He stopped the pantomime midway through, walk to the front and said, let's just take

a moment out, ladies gentlemen, to think about the police. What a brave, what brave people are. What a great job they do. Let's give them a round of applause. Everyone gave them around. And after that, he said, they were fine. That's very good. I'm going to write that down. Well, somewhere, probably just after the nine o'clock news, you'll probably, anyone who stays with us we can hang around for when I ask the entire listening audience to applaud the police. Frank, too much info for breakfast time, Frank. Stay above the pant line until after the 9 o'clock watershed, please. I think that's fair enough.

I apologise profoundly. Stay above the pant line. That's a slogan and a half. I went to a sci-fi talk at the British Library this week. William Gibson was there, great writer. And he said the slogan for the... the human species should be who knew i love it um hi frank i'm not getting that formal i was gonna read the oh sorry i'm the guy in the purple polo

shirt yeah well in the way we all are um guy in the purple i'm the guy in the purple polo shirt is it's a tongue twist that you all wants to join in with. Who stopped to shake your hand on Waterloo Bridge yesterday evening. Oh, that guy in the purple polo shirt, yeah. After our brief chat, read pedestrian racing, I decided to pick up the pace and take on a few peripatetic commuters. All the peace, the guy in the purple polo shirt.

My usual handicap of having stumpy legs was eradicated by the spring in my step I gained from meeting you and I trounced my rival. Oh. I'm imagining that the screen of his phone is covered in spit from all. from all his p-p-p-p-pur-p-p-pur. Yeah, he was a very nice chap, said nice things about the show,

which I won't repeat, obviously, because we don't praise the show on the show. No. Just taint right. Yeah. He's Matt. He was quite Matt, yeah. Not glossy. Because it was quite shy.

It was, you know, a sunny day, and he would have been dazzling had he not been Matt. He says, where were you off to? And was that Cathy was really good. Well, now Matt's getting out of familiar, frankly. It's getting very personal. It sounds like the beginning of an investigation. Yeah, it does.

And now that was Kath I was waving to On the other side of Waterloo Bridge Oh wow Yeah we're not as close On the other side of the bridge Not the other bank No no no she was She just got off the boss

Yes Frank Skinner's girlfriend Gets the boss What do you think I've got money to burn Yeah Oh good old Matt He was a very nice It seemed a very nice chap But you know

Anyone who praises us We feel to be very nice Am I correct Now he's got more stuff for his files. He knows what a cat looks like. He knows where you were going. I imagine he had a lapel camera. Where was I going to? I was going to see Jerry Seinfeld. Oh yeah. Wow. How was that? The O2. I thought it was all right. It's a man next to me who was the loudest clapper I've ever known. No, I spoke to someone the other week who said that they'd split up with someone

because they clapped too loudly. It wasn't one of my exes. No one. I thought it was No, it certainly wasn't one of mine. And I thought, what do you mean by that? But I got an insight. This guy, I tell you what, I don't know if he used to work for Radio 4 drama in the old days. It sounded like he had two coconut shelf. And when he, I don't know if I can, oh, I can't recreate it.

I don't think another human could. But it went right down the side of my, not just lowered, but it's like it went down the side of my neck. Like it was hitting a nerve thing in my neck. I was dreading, Jerry Seinfeld saying something really funny because I knew it would be like I got a woodpecker living within the wax of my ear. Was he a large man? He might have had meaty hands.

No, he wasn't. He was one of the... He looked very like, you know, he read The Guardian and, you know, that kind of... Do you think he was a very good clapper, or do you think it was... You know how when you clap sometimes just by accident, you do a really loud one, and you don't know how you've done it? No, but he was frighteningly consistent. It wasn't like the odd... One that went off.

No, it was... Oh, right in there. Right in my ear. Inexcusable. But what can you say? You can't turn to someone at a gig and say, can you not clap, please. Oh, I can.

Very much so. Well, I didn't. 1-3-1 is texted. Frank, your clapping anecdote does not sound plausible. Oh, we're off. There's only one way to follow that, and that's with... Ruby snacks by fun-locking criminals.

Sorry, have I fallen asleep and welcome on TFI Friday. Frank, can I tell you one of my favourite things that happened this week? I'm sorry, there's no time. Well, it was a celebrity altercation. Oh, it wasn't the mouse again, was it? No. It's on the rampage. No.

There were no grubby white gloves involved. Good. This was between Imogen Thomas. Oh, I had a shiver as I said her name. Oh, Imogen. Am I allowed to say her name? I think we were always allowed to say her name. Didn't she damn well make sure of it?

Well, she's got into a Twitter row with the wife of a footballer called Gibral Sissy. Do you know him? Yeah, I do, yeah. Well, just to give you a quick preacy of events, Jude, she's the wag Jude Cisset, said on Twitter, Imogen

should shut up and remain dignified to which... Too late. Too late. Remain dignified. I think dignity is wabby. I'm surprised. I bet she can't pick out her dignity in her rearview mirror. Especially if there's been a bit of petracle.

Jude also said affairs happen all over the world with every walks of life. Fact. That's what she said. Well, you know, that was dashed off in the heat of the moment. We'll lower a bit of grammatical error. To which image in reply? Oh, jog on.

Jog on. Jog on is a phrase I'm not familiar with. No. Well, Jude replied, get the violins out. Now, the one thing that I came away thinking was, what, are they just like returned to the 80s? Strange insults you never hear anymore. I haven't got the violins out for a long time.

Accompning with a mime as well of a violin. I love that. Jog on, I don't know. I guess that means, like, move along. Like when the police say, move along. Well, you know what it is, actually. Another age you think, oh, knaff off. It's like laugh off.

It means that you want to swear, but you can't. Well, jog on, no. Jog on sounds like, it does sound like move along. She should have said, you know, you're nothing but a gold digger. Oh, move along, madam. That's going to be the new thing, is that police jargon. Do you remember, do you ever say?

See any of those, the police stop, whatever they were called, those videos? Oh, yeah, yeah. There's one in that where he says this bloke, and it says, A quiet day in Dagenham High Street, until this character turns up. You see it like doing a three-point turn on a short carriage? Oh, I love an old-fashioned insult, I must say. Oh, I love them. One that I remember having, and it must have been about 1990.

But it was from a friend of mine whose dad was very into heavy metal, so into like Guns and Roses and Bon Jovi. He sounds horrible. Yeah. And my friend, he still had a... He still had a mullet. Bear in mind about 85% of our listeners are 38-year-old men in black t-shirts at home now. What are we playing there?

Donlock green flashes. Dinking, where's the white snake? I love our listeners. White snake is a fortified wine, obviously, for those of you don't know. It was my friend Chris And I'd gone to call for him And I'd seen him say something To his dad as he was coming out

And he looked sort of quite pleased with himself, Chris Like he had something to say And it might have been a perfectly formed farewell of some kind Goodbye And he said to me He said My dad says you're a drip I love drip

He said, When was it? Why are you going to play with that drip? Oh, no. When was it? 1990. It must have been about 1990. I think it was about 10 or 11.

Yeah. I mean, he had my card. Yeah. Yeah. Did he have your card as well? I gave him my card. You should have your card, you big drip. I don't have business cards for into age nine, you drip.

No. Well, I'm calling me a drip. Just because. I know, I mean, how can I say this? I know what he means. Yeah, no, I know what he means. But, I mean, I don't know if you're saying it in a nasty way. I don't know if I was a jiff at that point, or I've built my whole persona around that.

Yeah, you've, that's it, you've, self-fulfilling prophecy, that was. But I see, what, it's worth holding on, even that's an old-fashioned insult. It's worth holding on to it if it's really opposite. I think I'd stick with it. Yeah. See, I haven't heard that. My, our Nora, my older sister, still calls me a silly article. Which, I've never heard anyone else use that.

And I've always, I was playing football once, and this guy I was playing with, there was a guy on the other side who was quite a big, aggressive chap, kicking people up in there. And someone on our side said, oh, calm down, you moppet. Oh, Muppet. I'd never heard it before. And I thought, but I've, I've find it. them up, it's quite admirable. Do you know what I mean?

They've always got a one-liner at the fingertips, musical. They've got all the talents. I thought that was incorrect. Anyway, what old-fashioned insults do you like? See, I just went in then to... It all went a bit Capital Radio. I like that. That's what we'd like to know.

I say, what old-fashioned insight? Do you guys out there like, what are you doing this morning? What's up? You see? Now they're thinking, this is proper radio, at last. I like pillook, Frank. Like, pillock is good.

You don't hear that enough. You're pillock. That's really, really good. What with Adam, Muggins? It's been a hell of a more. So far. This is a bit of an emotional moment on the Frank Skinner Absolute Radio show because I feel I am having a limb removed. Gareth is about to say goodbye

Yes Timing as impeccable as it has Oh does that mean previous two years What a drip No I am Yeah the drip has finally been stopped I told that plumber No I've decided

To leave the show It's been a really difficult decision But I am I'm at a point where I think I need to concentrate on my stand-up comedy I know and um no so goodbye I um I'd like to I'd like to make a speech oh you like that wasn't it no there's more that was premature sorry if you can put that on loop does it go on repeat um you'd know how to work the desk by now yeah I've worked that out two years cheap I want to hear the speech because I might be mentioned okay let's do it oh I

I'm really hoping that you're a very noticeable absentee. I'd like to just thank everyone on the show for having me. Thank you, Frank. It's been such an amazing opportunity. Like, when you start off, I'm going to be serious, okay? Oh, God. I know you're going to say no change there. But it's been, it's so difficult starting comedy.

You feel like a drop in the ocean. And for someone to help A drip in the ocean And for someone to support you in the way that you have And had me on the show It's been absolutely amazing Oh God, I'm going It's been an incredible comedy apprentice

Some scars is 18 pounds a short And I've got that petrical moment When my eyes are watering I know you've fought for me to be on the show at times No, you'll get beat your grand people Don't worry, your grand people He's not a wazook You know, I'm not full,

proof. So thank you so much. It's been an incredible experience. I'm starting to think now we should have just not mentioned it and got someone else playing Gareth next week like they did with Lucy in neighbours. Maybe Melissa Bell could have come in.

What do you think, Gareth? Well, I was saying to Laura the other week. That sounds like Laceda. Sounds like Melissa Bell. Emily, you've been the good-looking big sister I never had. Thank you so much for looking after me. Like you look after everyone, you're such a lovely person. I'd have said mother.

Even at this stage you were frightened to say mother. Cutted like a pig. No, it's the big sister I've never had, and bossing me around, pulling my hair. Are you sure this isn't a bit of an over-response to just one appearance on Russell Hell? I don't you to think, no, it's just easy all the way. There are ups and downs in this crazy old world of show.

I'd like to thank the people who laugh in the background, Emma, you've been amazing. Daisy sent a lovely text, explaining it, and Rosanna. Thank you, everyone. And most of all, I'd like to thank the listeners, 339. You've been amazing, 278, 131. 131 has just texted in, sorry to see you go, Gareth. It's been a lot of pun. It's been a lot of pun at last.

I miss you most of all, 131, 450, 611. 533. Oh, 670.70. Well, I'm surprised you mentioned 670 after the incident. We'll miss you so much, Gary. No, we will miss you, Gary. At least we'll always have... That's the morning!

Which I think we might keep with your permission as an eternal jingle. Well, it is quite... It's an emotional moment, but, you know, you're basically saying that you're leaving to spend more time with your family, Usually, it's a super injunction. I want to love to talk about why I'm really going. No, don't say that. Or people will think it's going to be something.

Anyway, Galaf, despite this emotional farewell, we'll be on Not the Weekend podcast available. It's a bit like, you know, when you've been on holiday and made friends with someone, you give them a big hog at the airport, and then they're at the taxi route. Yeah, it's like that. But, no, we will miss you,

terribly. We've been here from the beginning and we've sort of, you know, it is like a little family, so it's terrible. But hey, we'll still, we'll come and see your show and make remarks. We might even come to Bournemouth. I'm not committing. So anyway, next week it'll be me, Emily and Cheryl Cole, who was at a loose end. And people said to me the accent won't work. I don't agree. I think it'll be absolutely fine. Ben Jones is next, and Gareth, goodbye, and

God bless you, my friend. Thank you. It's cool, friends, Christmas, radio days, a golden days as it's stupor, a mean days as in the sevens of the week, so this is a take out a bloke.