The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner's Radio Days: The Halitosians

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

The gang talk about hotel souvenirs, Frank getting locked in the toilet at the Wallace Collection and dealing with people who have halitosis.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Learn more at Bloomberg.com. We've missed you, Big Daddy. Thank you. Things have been half-acquired around here without you. No, it's, yes, I've missed it terribly, but it's lovely to be back. I was going to play that, you know, good to be back, good. And they said, no, don't play that. Don't talk about it.

Seems so apt. Should we not talk about it? What have you been up to, Big Daddy? You know, you should have strongly. You know, I did not, did Dr. Hu? I finished my nationwide to temporarily. Oh. You know, stuff, all that stuff you did.

You said both of those without breaking into a massive grin, which surprises me. Yes, well, um... No spoilers, though. You know what a geek I am about those, that Doctor Who? No, well, I have... Obviously, I have... We've got our theories from the internet, aren't we? I have... I thought that was your Hungarian neighbours.

I was talking about. Now, I, uh... Yes, I obviously, there's things I can't. I can't reveal. But I'd tell you something, what about this for a moment? Oh, yeah. This guy said, I need to take your photo. So I had to stand in front of this white screen in my costume,

which obviously I can't describe. Oh, lovely. And I was photographed in the round, so I had to turn a little bit, photograph, turn a little bit, photograph, turn a little bit. Oh, I said, so what was all that for? He said, oh, that's just in case you're an action figure. Oh, come on.

Just in case, obviously. I'm not saying I will be, but I'll always remember. Yeah, but when it doesn't happen, can I play that clip of you saying, come on, like Stuart Pearce, you'll be so stupid? No, just for the moment. Do you think Stuart Pierce looks about and thinks, why did I do that? Yeah. I mean, you know, that's why people think I'm a bit of a lout.

I'd love it if you're an action figure, Frank. Oh, I'm not good. I think that's every man's ambition. You want to keep you as you are, then? I mean, what I mean is they won't perfect you in any way. Not that you need perfecting. Why would they do that? No, but they do that. They beef them up, don't they sometimes?

You mean I look like a man masters of the universe? No, I think they'll just keep me scrawny. Oh, lovely. It depends really, doesn't it? Because obviously you can't give away what your character is. Well, your character is somehow CGI. The green scaly wings, I think the green scaley wings make me look more manly in a strange way. Yeah, so that was fantastic.

Oh. And you had your little show? I had my little show. I did a little bit of acting. My boyfriend went to see you in Manchester. I got a boyfriend while you're away. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

You got a boyfriend? I had to before the face went. Before the face went. You have to get a boyfriend before the face goes. I know, yeah. Well, it's like if you're a bloat, you have to get a girlfriend before the hair goes. Well, we'll be fine then. You have to marry them before the hair comes,

because they will walk out if it goes suddenly. Yeah, so I've been told this terrible thing. Yeah, so... Congratulations to you both. I don't know which is a great achievement. No, that's lovely. Well done, you guys. And it's Ledo, it's lovely to see you're so happy.

Is there any chance that he'll make you an action figure? Well, yeah, you never know. Funny, you should say that. You never know. It's from Tahiti. And he's a... He's a... He's all shab and...

So he might well make one if you cross it. Oh, no. I'm only just back and already they're getting in touch. Sadly, I'm not delighted by the tone that David from Leatherhead has taken. His text reads, webcams, question mark. Maybe turn them on in Studio A, question mark. Well, that's another request entirely. And then he said, would be nice to see a glimpse of the ongoing show.

Thanks, David from Leatherhead. Am I putting that tone in it too? But might you have read it? I'm not sure about your reading of this one. Okay. Can I say you've done what we call in the trade, you've done an Emily. Okay. Can we say, let's imagine David from Leatherhead is a genial, frankly.

Yeah. Webcams. Oh, hang on, that's not got a question mark. Hang on. Webcams? Maybe turn them on. Are we just going to listen to your workshopping? Suddenly, he's a lovely blow. Yeah, he's nice now. It'll be nice to see a glimpse of the ongoing show. Well, that's it. He wants to see the show. There's nothing to see here.

The producer days is frantically trying to get them working because she's got a tan this week. She's come back from her holidays She's wearing a white top, of course Hank, she's not just wearing a white top In the lift Yes, we have a lift at absolute radio She was saying to Alan Oh, are you browner than me?

Holding her arms, she was doing the arm test She actually said You've got a bit of a tan, Alan, haven't you? Oh And then bit of the tan, held up her very tanned arm I love that Anyway, happy birthday today You see for a lovely birthday this week

Speaking of birthdays Oh yeah Did I show you? Must we? The Bozzy's birthday greeting. Oh, yes. Excellent. This is...

Tell the... Basically, that Boz's birthday... I had to work on Boz's birthday. Some of our regulars will know. I was doing Dr. Hu. Anyway, I sent... The birthday greeting I sent him was... I texted him a photo,

and it's Peter Capaldi stepping out of the TARDIS, holding up a sign that says, Happy Birthday, Boss. Oh, that's going to be hard to be. be, isn't it? I shall send him that every year for the rest of his life. That's brilliant. Not for the rest of his life, for the rest of my life. No spoilers. Can you do a direct

debit with a text? You'll find a way. I mean, how long have I got? I know a man who probably can? You know, when you were announced on Doctor Who and I said, I'm a bit worried that you're going to be in the background autograph hunting like Daleks and stuff like that? This does sound a bit like... I know, this was

like, the second morning. Can you imagine when he knocked, that knock on the trailer? Yeah. Hello, it's Frank Skinner here. I'm very busy. I'm terribly busy. I don't... I just got a little favor. It's all right, all right.

Oh, I have to learn some... Oh, okay, you're just going to get it over with. No, he was very lovely. Can I say as well? I know no spoilers, but Capaldi looks hot. That's all I'm saying. He's a very handsome fellow. I mean, I'm spoken for.

Yes. Does I say I've got a boyfriend? I really don't like that phrase coming from you. I've spoken. Who speaks for you? Who could possibly speak for you? I tell you, you've got a lot of birthday cards, Bos. I don't know.

Anne Orra, my older sister. Oh, yeah. She has a fabulous consistency of birthday cards. She never misses a birthday for a starter. But I think there's a little shop just around the corner from her. That is 1964. Because she gets those, which I didn't think exists, you know, I bet they're kind that have got a fishing rod on.

And I don't mean a photo. I mean, like a painting of a fishing rod, often with an accompanying satchel of some kind at the fishing. Or a vintage car. I get vintage car ones from her. It's absolutely amazing that they still exist. She's not the sort of woman to seek out a retro site on the internet. No, it doesn't sound like it.

That's really... Respect. I heard from David from Leatherhead again. Oh, there you go. Webcams at last. Thanks. David from Leatherhead. Oh. Oh, there you go. Webcams at last, thanks. To be honest, that's what I thought I was doing with my voice there when I did it. In fairness, I think, John, you've made it sound a bit like John Inman. I mean, that's no bad thing. That's all right. Yeah, it's a good thing. Yeah. You know, times have changed. And also 757 has said, Frank, you already have your action figure on Room 101.

Oh, yeah. Well, it's a doll, really, isn't it? It's more of a doll. Lovely doll, though. I think it's a modified cane. Right. Oh, no, I don't think... Actually, I think it's off the market. Oh, isn't it?

You know, when you get those dolls off the market? Oh, yeah. It's got those sort of... Yeah, but that's... Yeah, it's more of a doll than an actual figure. I couldn't see it battling... What were they called? The Gorgons.

The Zorgans. Zorgans, yeah. I don't think it could take on a Zorgon. No. But, well, spotted, though. Lovely that people even notice. It's nice, isn't it? Oh, there's some fine prop work on that show of yours.

Yeah. It's on again, of course, in repeat. Is it? Yeah. Well, so is Alan on A&E, apparently. I've been tweeted. Oh, yeah. Was that your TV debut, I&E?

Possibly, yeah. It's a long time ago. Regulars will know that Alan played Jason the Asthmatic in A&E. I'm not sure they will. Well, Tim... Thank you as well. Tim tweeted, say, ITV are showing A&E at 3am or something.

Oh, that's embarrassing. Don't worry, I'll find it. No good in scheduling, would he, Tim? Imagine that, reading that at the radio times, 3am or something. This is odd. Tell the corkroll, hashtag Jason the asthmatic. I'm going to find it. Let's get that worldwide trending people.

Hashtag Jason the asthmatic. Yeah, I'm going to watch that. How old were you? How long ago was it? I think it was 1999 that I did it. Wow, well, I'm going to tape it, and tonight I'm going to party. It's 1990. And appropriately enough for the 90s, you'll be taping it.

May I just say, I wasn't in every episode, so it could be that we have to take quite a lot of episodes of A&E before we... Oh, you wasn't in every episode? No, no, I was... I suppose he wouldn't be in A&E every week. Not with DASMA. No, exactly. If I've been Jason, the TV guy, it would have been a different story. You're not being an asthmatic receptionist in A&E.

Yeah? Yeah, but wouldn't someone eventually, like, week 17, say, it's about time this boat was officially admitted to the hospital. Yeah. It's not just coming out of A&E every day. Exactly. It's not just like a drop-off. It's supposed to be for emergencies.

Yeah, they have systems in place for. I'll speak to the triage. I talk to the triage. Alan picked up a lot of medical lingo from that show, didn't you? I didn't know. Didn't you? Which brings me back to one of the great TV questions of all time. Did Tina Hobley say yes to Holby City because Holby's a bit like Hobbly?

Was that a factor? That's all I want to know. I mean, it is too much of a coincidence. Is that today's texted? Yeah. It's why Arsendenga took the Arsenal job. That's what people do. I wasn't off at the film about Frank Sidebottom or I might have thought about doing that. No, but I'm starring in Forrest of Dean.

are you? I think with my surname being Cochran, we should move on here. I was staying at a hotel in the north of England. Oh, yeah. And they said, would you like to be upgraded to the suite? And I said, well, how much will that? Yeah. They said, no, no, no.

Oh, you didn't ask the price. Of course. I didn't want to be involved in any embarrassment. It's worse than you. I'm not worse than you. I'm not worse. I have moments when I'm as bad as you. I'm certainly not worse.

I've got the rep. He's got the form. You're both terrible. That's right, so. We're both pretty bad, but if you prick us, do we not bleed? Anyway, that was a usury joke. There aren't enough usury jokes on absolute right. If I've said that once, I've said it.

So what did they say? You're entitled to an upgrade? Yes, and I thought, oh, could I have been off it to move? You know, I've unpacked my wash bag. Oh, that must have taken four seconds. What did you put in there? toothbrush and salt

anyway so I decided to go wow it was such a such a big room I'm not this is not this sounds like I'm exaggerating for a comedy effect

I got slightly lost in my hotel room honestly because there was a kitchen I went to go to the kitchen oh kitchen air lovely I went to go to the kitchen and I walked into the bathroom

I thought I know the kitchen's in the other the other end I actually he physically got lost in my own hotel room. Slubbing in downtown Abbey. Oh, that's a moment. And I've been lost in many places, but that was a first for me. How many bathrooms? Well, I found three.

Three bathrooms I found. Well, there's two full bathrooms and one toilet on its own. This is in one hotel room. In a hotel room? Yeah. I mean, I've got three bathrooms in my house, and I burst about it. There was classics. What do you mean there was classics?

Hard-bound classics, just lying around in there. There's like 20 or 30 hard-band classics. You could just... So they've gone. No, no. I didn't feel... It's a very tricky thing, that, because obviously I loaded up the products from the bathroom.

Yeah. Oh, you didn't. Oh, yeah. Ren, very good. I took those, and then I thought, I thought, can you take the magazines? No. Really? I sometimes do with the magazines.

No, I don't think you can take the magazines. Yeah, let's face it. You're the benchmark. Couldn't that be today's texting? Are the magazines... Yeah, I apologized about the benchmark. You know, I'd just come out at the show, and I just...

The phone went. I sat down for three minutes. And... But I left a note for the cleaner. What's radio waves? France goes to radio waves. What about that woman in a German hotel? I said to me,

I came in to see Matt. Let me get the voice. I came here to see man. Good one. And it was not in room. She said, you want a good time? She didn't.

I said, how dare say that to me. She had an etcher sketch. Nice. See, that's what she meant. She was a woman. I mean, she could have been my, not perhaps my mom, but she could have been an older member of my siblings.

Not that she wasn't attractive. No. But I don't, you don't want to encourage these people. Anyway, this is a different story. Maybe not for breakfast radio. I'm loving your darkness. It's opportunistic of her, though.

I'll give her that. Yeah. Just a matter, Matt, meant she'd met in the hallway. It's like tantamounts of flyering or something. It is, yeah. It's just in a corridor. Also, you want good time. I'll be the judge of that.

Oh, 566. He says, Morning All. There is a superb original, sorry, he said superb. Clearly it's going to be, Morning All. There is a superb original drawing of the Duke of Wellington in a hotel room in the Cotswalls that I've often wondered if they'd ever notice had gone missing. I'm certain they have never. no idea what they have.

How I've never packed it in my suitcase, I will never know. I'm going to have to make them an offer. That's Simon the art dealer who's become one of my regulars. Yes. So is he suggesting that he's on the brink of theft? I think, no. I don't know if... Temptations is weird.

Is this borderline what is theft if you're in a hotel room? Yeah. You know, I mean, is it theft when you take an apple from the, you know, the bowl on the reception? No. It's a walk-down memory-lid and find new things quite frightening It's cold friends' spiners, radio days I don't win days as a stupor as in the sevens of the week So this is a take out a gloat

No Can you take home products? I feel you can take home products Can you take home a flannel? I don't think so No Well, you notice what they've started doing in the very smart hotels With the bathrobes,

because this was a huge epidemic, wasn't it? Oh, yes. They say what they do in a very posh hotel, so it's not to embarrass you, they just put it on your bill. And they say, we're delighted, I don't know how I know this from personal experience, we're delighted you enjoyed our merchandise.

Well, I was talking to a guy who toured with someone, and this other chap, every time he checked into a hotel, he got him, put the robe in his suitcase, and then phoned down and said, tell him, there's no robe in my room when they bring another robe off. And at the end of the tour, he had 51 hotel ropes.

What do you do with them? Wow. That's the texting. Yeah, you could parachute. You could probably build parachutes, toweling. Yeah, yeah. And it's a sweaty business, parachutes, and you can mop your own brain. Either that, or he's got a massive sauna, and he has sauna parties with all his friends.

Well, he's probably stolen a sauna from some hotel when he stayed in. I mean, that to me. A robe is way over the top. Well, we're in a hotel the next few days, and let's find out if it's way over the top. Okay. What about a duvet? I started...

I'll wear it on my back. I started reading a hardback copy of Virgil's Aniyadh in this room. Could I have taken that? That'd be too much, wouldn't he? Yeah, I think that's too much. I don't know, but I'm pretty jealous of Cathy on those long dark nights. No, I was on my own. I was on my own.

When I'm on my own, I reached for a classic. I checked into my Cardiff Hotel. Oh, yeah. Get around, don't you? Yeah. And they'd folded two of the towels into an elephant. Oh, are they? There was an elephant in your room?

Yeah, I didn't want to mention it. I thought it was a bit of a taboo subject. No, they'd folded it into, right? I'll show you what my... phone and if you like it, we'll put it on the absolute website to share it with others. What, do we get to choose that? So that was on my bed when I got in. Oh, we should

definitely do that, yeah, that's fun. It's good, isn't it? Yeah? So that's someone who's gone the extra mile. That is absolutely disgusting. It's an elephant. It's not? It's an elephant. They don't know what they're doing. They've done my football referees. Yeah.

No, it's definitely. I thought it was brilliant. It sort of made me feel like, you know, they're thought, oh, someone come in. Were you tempted to put it in your trunk? No. Trunk? No, I draw, like I say, I wouldn't take a towel. That town, it looks a mess.

It's collapsing, doesn't it the elephant man? It doesn't mean me an elephant man out of the tail, so impressed with that. I'd have moved in. I'd stay there for that one. Imagine that. I am not an animal. I'm towling. I'm towling. I didn't realize that.

I'm glad you had a little. a nice time though darling lovely yes I was impressed by that oh I'll see what I did do I was working at the Wallace collection in London which is an art gallery you may know rather fine something that's never

happened to me before and I've had a conversation about it on many occasions I got locked in a toilet cubicle you didn't yeah oh that's humiliating well oh yeah my girlfriend my girlfriend Kath

well hang on what was she doing She wasn't there. She won't lock the door on a toilet cubicle. Ever? No. Really? Why not? Because of that.

And I always say to her, no one ever gets locked in toilet cubicles. So if she goes to the toilet, I have to stand there outside. And sometimes women will come to the toilet. And I say, no, there's someone in there. And I say, no, no, it's vacant. And I say, no, no, it isn't. And they look at me like I'm a complete weird. And I say my girlfriend's in there.

And I think, oh, God, he's got the imaginary friend thing. going on. And because she's frightening a lock in the door. In fact, somebody told me they were at London Studios, walked into the lady's toilet, and Jerry Halliwell was just sitting there with her on the toilet, because she won't do it either.

She's frightened to be locked in. Oh. A lot of fear about it. You don't want to do that at a fire nightclub in Vauxhall? No. No. Well, they don't have locks on the doors. Is that right?

They don't have doors come to mention it. That's very sensible. No one. Anyway, I got. locked in and it was quite, um, I thought, I'm fine with it, you know, not really a problem. And then after about 10 minutes starts it get quite hot in there. Oh, right. And I thought, oh, what a way to go.

In the end, I had to flush. Couldn't stand it a second longer. Do you know what I find very poignant is the idea of your little Birmingham hands, trying to get the lock open. I can't bear it. I'm not patronised, my wizened Birmingham hands, heavily veined. And what was the... So I had to call...

I had to call... No, no, no. The runner. I had to go... Georgia! You had to shout from my toilet cubicle. Luckily, she was at the end of the hallway, because I get lost, going to and from,

so I had to be followed. And some men came. Some men came. Some men came. And one of... After a bit, there's a lot of scratching at the door, and they had a... You know, there's all this...

Oh, now it's look, that... The things come off. and all that stuff. How embarrassing. Were you doing some material inside? I could hear that. Now, I was singing, oh dear, what can the matter, three old ladies locked in a lavatory. Just because I'll never get a more apt opportunity. And then they said, we're going to kick the door in. And I said, no, hold it, because the door, it's door sized. There's nowhere to hide.

So there's no way. There's nowhere to hide. So they kick the door down and smash my face in. So in the end, they had to, um, they had to sort of prying. me out with some big screwdrivers and break the thing off. Hang on, they used the screwdrivers on you. No, no. I was still in there. Well, about James Bond. By now I was hysterical. The last time I heard a story like this, which was recently, I can't say where,

but I heard a story that somebody had got locked in the toilet, and the buildings' DIY staff couldn't undo it, and they had to call the fire brigade. What if they'd done that? Imagine the embarrassment of Franks's... I just imagine the embarrassment. It's pretty embarrassing anyway. No, it could have been worse, though. Haddon Firemen.

If I'd done sit downs in there. Oh. No, but that would have been so embarrassing. I'd have been so embarrassing. And you know, the door's up. You're all right. So I was very relieved about that. You were very relieved. I was very relieved.

Yeah. But it was, it was weird. I honestly thought, and then I thought, do I tell Kath or not? Because Cathor said, I've told you. They're not safe, those public toilets. Did you tell her? Of course I told her. I tell her everything. That's my, that's my policy.

Okay. I suppose the other way is to carry like a little pocket knife with the screwdriver thing. You could have just unlocked the entire bolts. You're like, thanks dad. Always carry some salt in your pocket. Well, I'm like, if I get stuck in a lift, I always think, you know, I can always, I'd weigh into my jacket. Oh, my God. That would be my thing.

That would soak up. And if you need not. It wouldn't soak up. It would. Yeah, it's better than doing it on the jacket. the floor. You don't do it at all. Yeah, I always think that if we got stuck in here now. And

I always think that... You're wee in your jacket. Well, and to go and stay, if I needed to do more than we, as it were, I would go straight into the pocky. And that would hold... Then you wrap it round, and then by the time... I don't want you to wrap it round. No, but they would... I don't want you to do it in the first

place. You don't just do it on the floor. Just have self-control. Why don't you just let me be a good citizen for a change? Oh, I'll tell you what we've to talk about. What about Simone Cowell? I know he's not a friend of the show status. No, that we have mentioned him

a lot. Never said, never. We do. But this is a subject quite dear to your heart, Frank, because I know you live in abject fear of people with halitosis. Well, I just think it's a much more common problem. I meet at least eight people a day with bad breath. Let's call them the halototions. Yeah.

Not on Saturday mornings, we should point out. Interestingly. No, exactly. And I always beg, my friends, please tell me if ever you pick up any on me I want to know. But it is very, very common, and that is why I have patented the Odorita's Yashmak. Oh, yeah.

Which, you know, it's a veil that comes just above the nose. And obviously you can't put it on people with bad breath. That would be cool. What is, if you're talking to someone with bad breath, it comes across on an almost invisible curtain rail and just goes across your face. Well, that's good.

and just shield you. We should say... Burger thing that we talked about once upon a time. Yeah, but like... Yeah, the... We should say, for readers that aren't aware of this news story... Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.

Simone Cowell's association with Bad Breath is that he was photographed this week in a limo, which I love because it's so 70s to have a limo. What celebrities have limos now? He does. I bet he's got a jacu. Pull over here, Derek. I've got a problem.

To be honest, I've got a problem with that, Because if he does worry about his breath, he's seen eating chewing gum that is bad-stretched chewing gum. Yeah, CB-12, we should say. CB-12 chewing gum, which places zinc. Is that the nicest name they could come up with from doing-gum? CB-12. It sounds a bit like a steroid.

Could have called it Zinci. Strait from the laboratory. Laboratory on air. But of all the ways to travel, if you have got stinky breath, like limo, where the windows have to be shot, I know, but stretch limo, it means you're nice distance away. Stretch limo.

Who has that? The drivers behind the glass. Well, women in Essex, or actually not women in Essex, that's a terrible stereotype thing to say. People on hen nights, I'm going to say that, which isn't at all stereotyping. But they do tend to have stretched limo. You should travel by bicycle, shouldn't they?

Or motorbike to get a bit of a gust of wind going past that breath. I tell you something that, it's something I've spoken to a few powerful men in my time, I mean, are those sort of powerful men who've got money and stuff? They are bad breath. And they often have bad breath. It's almost like, I think they've developed deliberately bad breath because they know people are so intimidated, they just have to stand and take it. And they enjoy watching them suffer.

And people always ask them for money, so it's a deterrent. I can't name any names, but I've met, I don't mean like just the famous. I mean like that certain sort of powerful man, who, you know, you feel as. Alpha men, yes. And, yeah, and they, you know, when you get really bad breath from someone, you don't just smell it, it sort of gets on your chest. Oh, it's awful. Can we distinguish between?

You know, when you're in a house fine, you have to get low to the floor to get onto the smoke. Sometimes I speak to them on all fours, just to get underneath the jet, because, you know, the hot air rises. What do you think, do you think someone said something to Simone, though, like Louis Walsh? He strikes me as a bit... I think he's someone who thinks. he's someone who can speak out to Simon Lowe.

But one day you'll misjudge that, and that'll be the end of Louis Walsh on television. Also, I think he'd get the message across in a very sneaky way. I think he'd put a packet of polos in the Secret Santa. He wouldn't be obvious about it. Isn't this all partly down to... You know, people who get too close when they're talking to you as well? Oh, I hate those.

I hate those people. Space invaders, they call them, don't they? Oh, does it? Yeah. There's a thing in the World Cup now. that when they put the World Cup. In the World Cup. And Nancy, shut up for one minute.

And what they do know is when they, in case you haven't seen any games, when they march the wall back to make sure they're 10 yards, the referee takes out a white spray and sprays a line. There was a brilliant bit last night when he sprayed a bit on a footballer's boot. Like this Dutch guy was going, I'm on my nice fancy boots. I'm sponsored to wear it, really. I like the white spray. It's very coats on the ground. I thought that'd be very good if you get people, particularly the bad breath people.

You draw a line and they talk to you from that. You could use toothpaste just as an extra hint. Oh, that's good, yeah. I'm going to start carrying a big tube of Colgate and just doing that if anyone's a bit stinky. Basically, though, if you're talking to someone, if they offer you gum or polos at any point, it's like, it's no different to handing over a concealer to someone with a spot. Yes. It's basically saying you've got bad breath, isn't it?

Do you think it is? Is it? This is like the deodorant in the Secret Santa thing. Yeah. Why would you suddenly mid-conversation? Anyone listening, if you ever meet me and I've got bad breath, just feel free to tell. I mean, I couldn't have done this because I used to meet a lot of fans

first thing in the morning, as they were. And then you've got excuses. But tell me. Yeah, we should say first thing in the morning is allowed, after a spicy meal? We should all... I just think we should all tell each other. Just say, when you meet the powerful man,

say, sorry, I know you're a powerful man, but whoa, there's a bit of a... You're a powerful man, you're not a dragon. And then I think people would... Surely they'd be grateful, ultimately. See, I think I've got a different coping strategy for this, and that is, every now and again, in my life, I'll admit,

I've felt like I've got bad breath. And what I do is I just try and really enjoy it. I don't know about you, but I feel relieved. I really enjoy it. I just, I try and... It's finally got through. I didn't know I had another hint in me. We've done this about four times on the show.

Yeah, yeah, that's come up a lot, isn't it? It's come up a lot. What do you think, Alan? I think it's worth just trying to enjoy it. I mean, it's never possible you that we burn the phone covers from your microphone at the end of the show. And boy, do they flare up. See, I'm pretty confident that I don't very often.

No, I've never smelt it on you. Because of my stature. Even for a thing in the morning hour. It's a little bit Louis Wals. I started as a fan. Yeah, exactly. They all do. Because of my stature, I'm pretty sure that I don't,

because I think if, you know, I tower over people, if I was, if I had honking of breath, I'd be wiping out. That's a leap. That's a weapon of mass destruction. Yeah, yeah. That doesn't mean you don't happen. laws, I can be vaporised the whole family and one gathering. Do you know what, though? You've got the height. It's lovely. I think you can get away with pretty much anything.

Yeah, just look up and talk. I'll tear up. I'll tear rises, so they're missing. Yeah, you can get away with it. Yeah, it's all right, isn't it? You and have it a different stratosphere to the rest of us? Psychos going for that chewing gum. I'd find the idea of chewing gum that fixes bad breath a bit of a, like, hold the front page. I said, really? You use a chewing gum because he's got... C. B. And zinc, why is it zinc? Like, surely that's in a food stuff. He could just have some almonds.

You can just take zinc. Yeah. You know, madam. Again, lovely little piece of advice for it out there. You can, no, but you can just take zinc tablets. Alan. It's cold friends, gamers, radio days, and I don't win days as a shoes in the sevens of the weeks. So this is a take-out, a blue-ball. Thank you.