The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: The Orange Light

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

Back to 2014 and it’s Lent! In between educating Emily and Alun on the rules of Lent, Frank’s changing the world of impressions. There’s also discussion on how long you can drive with an empty petrol tank. Or "fuel tank" in Alun’s case… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This spring, denim gets a softer, lighter update. Introducing Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg, a new fit that moves with you. It's everything you want denim to feel like for summer. Easy, breathable and effortlessly cool. With a fit that creates natural movement and a wide leg that feels modern, not overwhelming. Plus, that signature, wait, for this price, moment. Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg. Quite the squeaky bit that you did there, made me think that you were going to host the show.

today as one of the witches from Macbeth. Followers on the Twitcher. Well, I like the idea that the witches from Macbeth have a voice. Surely they sound different in every production. Or indeed a Twitter account. That reminds me of there was a World Cup exhibition once, and it said, you know World Cup Willie is? He was the mascot in 1966.

I've worked with him. It said the exhibition includes a life-size World Cup Willie. And I thought, well, hold on. I mean, it's a fictional, what life size, in what respect? Robbish. Anyway, welcome to the show, and it's lovely to have you all listening.

What? Who's that, Emily? Who's that, he's being now? He's doing all the voices to do it. My new thing is I'm doing it. I don't know, but I find it abhorrent. I'm doing impressions, but they're not of anyone. That's a new, I think that's the way forward for impressionists.

So I do impressions. I tell you what I want to ask you about. I've got coffee. Alan, you have... I've got a cup of tea. You've got a glass of water in front of you. I'll come to that, but I've just had a new idea about impressions. Don't stop at the floor, this could change entertainment.

Okay. Can't wait to hear. Don't you think impressionists in the past have been very celebrity-led? Yes. It's all famous people. Renoir wasn't? Yeah. Even if you do...

Or even if at school, it's people. It's recognisable people. I reckon if you did it to it, if you got big enough crowds, you come on and go, Hello everyone Hi, you're doing Someone else said That is exactly like that bloke at our work

You're always in You're gonna hit somewhere I love the universe You and habit where if you got big enough crowds Who's gonna come and see that show A man doing impressions of nobody Franks, Grish It'll be random impressions

That's what you'd call it You've got a big crowd in tonight To watch the impressions of nobody What could you call it There'd be some post-impressionist That's it Post-Impressionist Because there's been a

period of showbiz impressions and how this is just that would be brilliant another classic that's what it would be odd though for the request because people wouldn't know what to call them would you give them names the characters no oh okay okay that's against the whole very firm rule on that yeah definitely not random

question emily foolish names oh you're so bourgeois see that was another impression oh yeah I think you can miss it because Sometimes you think I've just got a frog in my throat, but no, it's an impression. You better believe it. Frank, someone's been dreaming about you.

Okay. It's an extraordinary dream. Do you want to hear it quickly? Is it not rude, is it? No, it's not rude. Okay. Good morning, Mr Radio, Miss Emily, Fiddledy D and Sir Cockrell. Oh, I like Fiddledy D.

Well, I've got the biggest promotion there, I think. Last night I fell asleep. Looking forward to today's show And thus dreamt of Frank We were in the studio And I was confronting him About his obsession with Doctor Who Beneath his desk

Were dozens of model TARDises Oh, okay Tardai That's what they call it Is it Tardai? Well, I've heard this debate it before I don't know I've got a few Tardai T-shirts

I actually have got a few Tardai T-Sirts I actually have got a few Tardai T-T-Shthers He was dressed from head to toe in Tardis Blue and had bright blue face. Okay. I'm laughing because this could so easily happen. Meanwhile... What about my circulatory problems?

That's why I'm not laughing. Meanwhile... I wake up with a bright blue face most morning. He was much more concerned about his hairiness. He had a flowing head of hair, a floor-length beard and hairy hands and feet. when Kath and Buzz arrived at the end of the show they were just as hairy. A bit like the hairy babies

in that episode of Fall the Ter. I've never seen in episodes, I don't know. No, but I know the Mexican hairy babies. Forgive me for telling my dreams, but as it involves, Frank, I thought it might be a bit more interesting. Cheerio, Lucy. What do you make of that?

How do you interpret that one? Well, I mean, I'm no Freudian. I consider the simplicity of the Doctor Who thing, but because I, you know, I've started, I don't stop talking about it now. It's been banned by... Yeah. Evidently not. But the hairiness, I don't...

I don't know what that could signify. I'm going to think about it, though. There'll be a Z-Z-top element, I would have thought. I like the idea of Kath and Buzz being equally hairy, like a strange-hersuit family. But according to Freud, these things that you dream, sometimes they can be... You know a Freudian slip when you get the wrong word?

Sometimes it can be a bit... We've talked about this before, so you think you've been chased by a wall, but in fact you're frightened of Will from, no, you've got to make a call Will for you're frightened off. Yeah. Are you with me? Yeah, we understand.

But I'm going to continue to dwell on it as the show goes on. By the end. We've had another text, though. Frank, we all knew you were talented, but with these impressions you are surpassing yourself, I will now be doing impressions today at work. You see? You all said to me,

oh, no one's going to care about that, but already I've got a cult. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, it's Lent. Oh, I hate Lent. Okay. Well, um... Don't you see it as a time of spiritual replenishment?

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder. I've, um... On Ash Wednesday this week, I, I didn't eat. I had one meal. That's, you know, you know, you only had one meal and two collations. Are you not allowed to eat on Ash Wednesday? You can have one...

You can have one. You can have one. The collation is like a tiny snack to stop you from falling over. Snacking? Yeah, so you can have two of those on one proper million, it's the idea. And I must say, I did... Can I ask what that involved? What were the collations?

Did you go high fat, like nuts or something to keep you going? No, I had a weight of bix. Oh, no. But no milk. What? Is that a lent thing? Yeah. Is it really?

You've given up milk to length? No, just fresh Wednesday. Just ate one dry. It was that At one dry, who does that? It's the same thing you'd see on YouTube. Some dare or something Watch the man eat the Wheatibix without milk.

It took me three and a half hours. My grand used to put marmalade on and eat them dry. Gross. Did you have five Jacob's cream crackers afterwards as well? What are you doing to yourself? Didn't you have a theory that Wheatibix had shrunk over the years? I bet you were glad of it on Wednesday. Yeah, but...

Did you invite friends around for a dinner party? Can I say, Wheatabix had? Wittebigs wrote to me about that and pointed out that they hadn't shrunk. Do you know that? Yeah. With quite accurate dimensions of what Wheatabix. I love that you've got a letter from, I've got a letter from Arthur Miller. You've got a letter from Wheatibix.

Exactly. They should have sent me like seven or eight letters in a tube. But they didn't look a long thing envelope. That would have been brilliant. Funny they thought of that, they didn't. What is the point of Lent, though? So can you explain the history? behind it.

Well, I don't know. The history behind it. Well, I appreciate it's biblical. You know I follow the Nazarene? I do. Well, he went into the... On Twitter.

He went into... He went into the... Yeah, and you'd think he'd be able to spell Barack Obama. But I went... He went into the wilderness for 40 days. Oh, I love that club. Yeah, he fasted. And so, well, Catholics do it as well.

But you give some up, but also sometimes you add something. But I've given up. I don't have much left to give up, to be honest, because I've given up most things over the years. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. I don't have casual relationships. What do you do? Well, I don't do much there because I've given up tea for lent.

I know. I've given up tea. We'll come back to this while you... I can tell you're astonished. I am. I've worked out why I've got really long hair and a long beard. No. No. Is it because I'm just generally overflowing with stuff?

It's pouring out. Developing, organically expanding. Is it that? Maybe. Okay. That's the texting. You're quite a godlike figure to many. Not, please, not in Lent.

Is that not allowed in Lent? I don't think you should say that in Lent. I'm not easy with it. Can you explain to me? the brief rules of Lent because... The rules of Lent. Cockrell Jr. On commercial radio on a Saturday morning. My little boy, who is,

to my knowledge, not a religious boy and doesn't go to a religious school and said to me the other day... Well, here's what's happened. He said to me the other day, I'm not going to sing out loud for 40 days and 40 nights. And I said, have you been doing Lent at school?

Because all I knew was 40 days and 40 nights. That's my... And he said, yeah. Oh, except for everything is awesome. that song from the Lego film he said that I'm allowed to sing out loud but I'm not going to sing out loud and then he said I think I'm still allowed humming so he's still

humming but he's not singing he's come up with a series of qualifiers that's what he's going yeah and I said a lot of people do that in Lent a lot of Irish people often St Patrick's Day up maybe always actually falls in Lent right what do they do about that then

they always say well I think because it's the same day you can if you've given up drink fillette. Oh, I think Sir Patrick's day is different. Right. Yeah. Most people that give up something that you like. Just give it up completely, though, to be honest. Yeah. Like if you should give up sugar, you should just give it up completely. Why just do it for a

period of time? This is what I don't understand. Well, it's, you know, just because to show that you can. Right. Par example, I'm not saying I'll never drink tea again, but I'll hear something that was interesting. The first day I didn't drink tea. And I'm a big tea drinker. I felt a bit headachey and a bit spaced out.

I was having cold turkey. I wasn't having cold tea. Cold tea. Cold tea. No, I was, yeah, and I've felt that since I've been a bit, like a bit dreamy. Is it, but why would you do that? Are you strong out? I'm actually strong out.

Yeah. On non-tee? Yeah, I think, so you think tea is very, very mild. You know, you're all these stories about coffee and people giving up, I mean, these are the people I know. I don't know anyone who's on K. Right? I know someone who's on special K. That's it. But I know people who have a lot of coffee, and we talk about that in sensationalist terms. Yeah. Are you ruling out coffee for the month? No, I don't. I haven't given up coffee, but as you know, but I don't drink coffee. I don't drink coffee. I don't drink coffee.

As you said a few weeks ago, you'd be quite happy to never drink coffee. again. But you know there's sort of that sort of stressed out thing that people get when they drink coffee normal coffee they get a bit tense and all that. I get that when I drink decaffeinated coffee anyway and I get it for that moment. I get that when I see man-made fibres.

I haven't seen that. Is that Tom Cruise? Anyway, I, you know when you order decaffeinated coffee? I've mentioned this to you guys before. I always I order, I say I'll have a decaffeinated cappuccino, please. Decaffeinated, and they go, yes.

And then they go away. I like that impression. That's another one. Yeah. And they come back later and they say, okay, cappuccino, and I say, and I say, that generic man who works at coffee shop, boy. And I say, generic enough for me, but. I always say, is it, oh, hold on, it's decafinated, though, isn't, and they go, yes. And I always say, oh, well, it is, and is it? It isn't.

He's getting this coffee in Barcelona, do you? So I drink in tension that I would have got from the caffeine. Decaffeinated, oh, yes. I hate that. Readers have been texting in, haven't they, Al? Oh, yes. Yeah, this seems to be how we get people, in it. My son's not religious, but he's giving up stuff for Lent.

I don't remember last summer in doing Ramadan. He didn't have a go at it. Well, it's just starting. Who's to say you won't cover all the great world religions? It's just starting with Lent. Actually thinking about it. He had some big suppers last year. It could be that.

He didn't have 12 people around. I like the way they called it the last supper, very middle class, instead of the last dinner or something. It means a lot to me. They had standards. Well, that's midnight snack. Yeah, we've got a few texts in. Too many people give up things for Lent

and then just binge straight away afterwards. The idiot. Oh, I love the idiots. It's from 2 or 4. Oh, I thought it was from the... I thought that was the signature at the end. No, I don't believe so. I think it's...

Yeah, but I think that's all right, isn't it? That's what I do. Oh, is it? Am I going to be drinking tea on Easter Sunday? I'm going to be drinking tea out of a chocolate Easterer. You can have a yard of tea. Good luck with that experiment. What I'm going to do, I'm going to drill two holes in a chocolate Easterer.

Put the tea and then drink it like a coconut. But you've got to drink it really quick, obviously. because you know that the hot tea is steadily making its way through the inner casing. I hate it when that happens. I want ringside seats to that. I just like the idea of you using the drill to drill two holes in the chocolate egg. I've got a hand drill. That's one of the...

Oh no, sorry, I've got a man drill. It's a large, colourful heap. When I got mixed up. 1-99, Frank. Oh, God, since the teeth on it. I could never give up teeth for lengths. I'm giving up biscuits instead. Well, that's, you know, that's all right.

I'm giving up biscuits as well. I'm giving up sweet things, but I just give up sweet things. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on. You can't, surely you want to focus your attention on the tea. Don't divide your resolve. The tea is... I'm worried about socialising with you there, if you don't mind me saying. You're just going to sit there.

No, I'm fine, thanks, just with a glass of water. I'll have a glass of water, please. That's good, isn't he? Hey, Frank, do you want to come around to mine for a tea and a biscuit? No. No. He'll bark at you because he'll be withdrawing from the caffeine. No. It's a good job. I'm not single, though.

I fancy coming back to mine for a... glass of water. See I went into my voice then, my chatting up. Is that your date's impression? Have you noticed men do that? You can be talking to a mate and I say, Yeah, yeah, I do. And then you hear them out and then you're going,

Yeah, you got to... They get that horrible. What when they're chatting a woman off? Yeah. Oh, I hate it. Or you get people, they get a phone call. I say, yeah, hold on, just get this. Oh, yeah, I just...

Yeah, I'll be with... If you carry on. I'm just going to finish his phone call. Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I feel sick now. Oh, no, it makes me, it, it made me feel sick when it was me doing it, just to hear myself. I hear myself, oh, God, that's why I'm so glad I'm settled in a relationship now. We've had another good email about Lent. During Lent, I'm going to do more push-ups, more stretching, and work on my sidekick, just like Jesus did.

Love you all, Hannah. Excellent. I'm going to work on my sidekicks. Oh. So watch out. I don't know if this is what you wanted, but you reap what you saw. Morning Frank Emily and Alan.

It's very big of this morning. If we're talking impressions, could I request some of your all-time female classics? Posh Middle-aged British lady, brackets, do you see? I think you might have said that. Oh, yes. That's the phrase. Yes, do you see.

Okay. Yeah. And middle-aged American lady, brackets, Buzz Aldrin's wife. Oh, God, I remember. her. Do you? No.

I remember she, I know what the story was about her, is that we, I interviewed Buzz Aldrin. As soon as I got a chat show, I said, like, let's get Buzz Aldrin on. Uh-huh.

And he was the guest on, he was the star guest on the first ever episode of the chat show I did. And, and they decided, then the producer said, well, let's put them in, we won't put them in a modern hotel. We'll put them in a proper old English Tudor house.

I love that. Americans. And she found up and said, can you move us? from this hotel because would you believe this when we when we walk the floor's creek so

Frank we had that he's since divorced you know has he divorced when he was about 80 I love him for that what morning he woke up and thought that's it I've put up with this long ago Frank we took

one of my gay godfather's friends Louis St Louis who's uh Louis St Louis Louis so gay they named him twice yeah pretty much He's a lyricist. I believe he wrote Greece too. Did he really?

He wrote Sandy, I think, as well, in the original Greece. Oh, you are, that's a beautiful song. Strangley to Driving. The good thing is we can do the royalties via me. Of course, if John Travolta did it nowadays, it'd say, surely, because he gets the names wrong on. Oh, yes, yeah, no. I'm just relieved about where that was going.

Oh. What? Oh, you know, you did topical stuff, and people haven't read the papers that week. I know, exactly. for the Travolta Gaff. Don't blame it on us. I just like that. I'm feeling a bit hot. Frank, I know the Travolta Gap.

Frank, so Louis St. Louis, we thought, I will take him because he's American. I mean, he's very American. Yeah. You know, big faux fur coats and the like. Well, that's American. We took him to, very Texan, you know. Yeah. We took him to...

He sounds Alaskan. The Spaniards in in Hampstead. You know that very traditional old part. Oh, yes. We thought he'd like it. We walked in. He went, this is. horrible.

So we had to leave. I'd just like anyone who would say that because people are so polite nowadays. Mind you, I had a drive-round who drove me into the show this morning. And I got in the car and he said, Hey, no, he was in American. He's mixed up with Lewis and Louis. Louis.

He said to him. He said, yeah, he said, hey. He said, hey, where are you off to? I said, golden square, he said, okay, great. And then he said, is it warm enough in the back? Too cold, too warm? I said, no, no, it's fine. And then he said, I said, it's good to check, isn't it?

Have I got time to do this day? I said, is it time to, is it, is it, um, I said, it's good to check, you know, you got the right person on the right place. He said, yeah, so we have a school, a kind of a school that they do at this company where they teach you to be a good driver and, you know, and to be, and all that. And I said, okay. And I said, okay. And I said, okay.

I said, is it like a physical school, the actual building that you go to? And he went, yeah. He didn't speak to me again for the rest of the day. It's like he thought, no, actually I don't want to talk to this person. And just made the decision like that. And that was it. It didn't end. And then when I got out, he said, I said, have a nice, he said, you have a good day.

Have a nice life. It's completely dismissed. Your summer travels in the week, so this is a takeout a good. Your summer travels deserve an upgrade. With select Chevrolet, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles connected by OnStar, you can stream, game, and more on the go. Whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway,

you can access hundreds of apps on Google Play right from your center display. Explore OnStar Tech today at OnStar.ca and discover how to take your summer to the next Level. On Star. Better never stops. Oh, I'll tell you what I did this week. I drove for quite a long way with the petrol light on. You ever done that? Oh, yeah. How far can you get? Terrifying. Quite far in my case, because I've told you about girls empty.

Have I not told you about girls empty? No, I like the sound of it. Well, sit around. They're a bit like girls allowed. I like to fly a bit. But more vacuous. I like to fly a bit too close to the sun when it comes to the petrol.

It's my little adrenaline kick. I see how far I can go. There's boys empty. I think that's on the gauge. That's right on the nail. And then Girls empty is below that. I once did girls empty and I had to call Jonathan Ross

to come and pick me up and save me in a canary yellow suit. Well, because you've finished, you ran out of fuel. Yeah, because I just push it. I push it further than I should. I can't help it. You'll end up.

You will have to push it if you're not. If you carry on driving, like that miss that's my policeman very good oh i love the policeman i identified that yeah i've never i've never run out the petrol gauge never run out well i of course you haven't i hate the idea of it oh yeah i've run out on the motorway oh no oh lovely so girls empty i love no no i run i mean i run out on the motown i was naked one-one-eight i was old in a west island area above my head like a football I'd been drinking.

That poor dog. It wasn't that you were hairy. It was just a West Highland Terry. You know, exactly. She's got me shaking. Next time she needs to have a dream, she needs to sleep with her glasses on. She'd be able to see me from.

Do you dream? If you wear glasses regularly and you dream, are you short-sighted in the green because she don't have your glasses on, in bed? No. So, idiot. Is this the day's texted? You'd have to go to an optician and say,

could you get me a prescription from my mind's eye? That's like your observation about ghosts. Why do they wear those clothes? Why do they wear clothes? Where did the clothes come from? Did the clothes die and rise again? What outfit? And also, I know we've talked about this before,

but why aren't the ghosts ever in the hospital gown, which is what a lot of them would be in? They're always in bridges. Why is everyone in bridges in the ghost? ghosts. But can there be any... The clothes don't have spirits that come back, do they? It doesn't make any sense. They should be naked.

We've gone from Lent to ghosts. Is that what we're doing this? Well, it's a spiritual... It's a spiritual day. It reminded me of his ghost observation, which I think is rather fine. Gary from Andover has texted, Frank, you can go around 20 to 25 miles with the petrolite on. Safety mechanism for morons. Shut up.

I was told by... How many miles? 20 to 25. But I've been told more than that. think I did more than that this way. We'll come back to my petrol. I'm going 40 in that case. Love it.

Well, I have heard that said. Oh yes, the petrol light. Can we start to call it the fuel light, please? Why? That's a bit American. Is your car diesel? Yes. There you go.

That's right. Because it's not a petrol light, is it? I love this conversation. Sorry, but I think I still... You see, I mean, I don't keep gloves in the glove compartment. I still call it the glove compartment. Love the way you two have diesel, money savers. Pennywise.

No, I'm just trying to destroy the planet. Have you ever played petrol station roulette? When you drive past a petrol station with the red light on hoping you can make it to the next station, that's from Paul the chauffeur in London. It's good to know that Paul the shelf is doing it. Good news for his VIP passengers. Sorry about that, Alan Sugar.

But yes, I have done that, Paul. Have you? But I've got orange light in my red light's a bit extreme, isn't it? Well, 829 says, I have done 16. miles with light on did not want to risk any further. That's good. 60. I think I did about, I did high 40s this week. If a man did 60 with the light, I would get intimate.

Because I would respect him. Could you have I stopped when I did? So 829 that texted in. If you are a man, that's Emily saying factually she finds that attractive. I do. I like that approach to life. It's a bit devil-may-care. In fact, Paul and Nottingham could have a chance because he says, I, Frank, I live my life on the orange light.

And then he says in brackets, you've got about 50 miles left. I like the melodrama. It's that how I live my life on the orange light. Where's he from? I don't believe he's... Oh, he's Nottingham. Paul in Nottingham. You don't have to put on the orange light.

Paul in Nottingham. You don't have to drive on vapour through the night. That's the closest to enjoying a police song I've been for probably 15 years. Okay, well, I tell you what I sound, it's very, because it's so tense. First of all, I'd say it's very good for your cardiovascular. I was a slightly better driver during my orange light period. Was it David Cameron doing a speech when you need the toilet? It's that principle, isn't it?

You know, Spalding Gray did that film swim into Cambodia? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And in that, he talks about he has to swim in the water with the South African man. It's a very, very dangerous patch of water. I think there's sharks or something. I can't remember, but it's dangerous, and he's very worried about it. So what he does is he gets his training shoes.

He puts all his money and his gold Rolex in his training shoes and leaves them on the beach. And he calls it displacement of anxiety. So he was so worried about his money and his watch He wasn't frightened in the water And I think I was so worried about the petrol running out That you know the normal tensions, road rage people You know, I'm what you're doing and all that

I wasn't doing any of that I was I was in an orange light Nirvana Orange light Nirvana She's the queen of Northern souls Right On your base The knees out of your base 149 says it is an offence to run out of petrol, you lot.

Is it? You lot? Which I think is a point almost as perniquity as me saying, could we call it a fuel load rather than a petrol. I don't know. If I didn't own that, I might not have been such a chancer this week. I have a theory. I think 149 might be slightly wrong here. I think they're saying it's an offence to run out of petrol.

I think it's an offence to knowingly run out of petrol. I think that's a critical point. I don't think you're allowed. Would you establish that in court? Well, and in that case, I've offended so much I've made it a skill. I think the rule is something like you're not meant to go on the motorway if you know you haven't got fuel for the amount of time you're going. Is that right?

I tell you what the problem is, though, don't you find... But when you're driving, because you have to look at the road, you don't really have time to look at all those dials and things. I have this problem with the speed. TMI. Yeah, but the speedometer is another thing. I think you are all duty You're duty bound to look at your dashboard

I'm quite, look at it at it I'm quite relieved you're not a pilot, Frank A policeman said to me once He said Do you know what speed you were doing And I said, no, no I was looking at the road I thought I'm not falling for that trap Someone to catch me out

Like you know, I mean that's like using your mobile You start looking at your dials And you should be looking at the road So be careful That's an offence Keith says me and my girlfriend regularly travel to Liverpool from Stevenage. Strange journey. And my aim is to do it on one tank of petrol.

Inevitably, on the way home, the fill-up light comes on, but I make it my mission to get home without filling back up. This has led to us driving at 44 miles an hour on the motorway, just because I want to win the competition I hold with myself to see if we can get home. Needless to say, my girlfriend does not share my enthusiasm for the game because she feels will be stranded on the motorway through my stupidity. I think they're Stephenage Reds.

I think that's why they're driving to Liverpool, regular. That's my... Well, I did run out of petrol on the motorway. Yeah. What happened? A man... I pulled onto the hard shoulder. Jail. Seems sensible. Got a jail sentence, do you? No. A man stopped behind me and got out of the car and said,

Can I help? Was it George Michael? No. He was driving. My car. And I looked up from under the dash. No, I was He said, can I help you? I said, can't move on? I said, can't, that's my problem.

Can I help you? And I said, well, I've run out of petrol. He said, jump in and we're going to find a petrol station. He said, you've got a petrol can? I said, no. In a sort of a no. Weirdos, voice. So he drove us to, off the motorway,

we went to this place and he said, let's ask where there's a petrol station. And we stopped at someone's house and I knocked on the door. I was quite famous at the time, knocked on the door. And I said to this woman, where's the nearest petrol station? And she looked up in my shoulder and said, is there a camera? And I said, no. It's just me. I've run out of petrol.

And the bloke drove all the way around the thing and dropped me back by my car. And I said to him, and it was a genuine inquiry. I said to him, are you an air? angel. Wow. He looked terrified. I accidentally frightened a woman in the street Your Honour. This week.

What did you do? I asked her if she'd seen the moon. What? Why did you do that? You've just seen her? I said, excuse me, if you're seen the moon? Do you know where it is tonight? I can't believe she thought you were on hinge. She looks alarmed. It's a perfectly reasonable question, isn't it?

What time of the night was this? Oh no, it wasn't very late. It was about half a you didn't really go up to someone and say that what were you wearing and what were you holding that's right because that would be terrifying I was holding a West Highland Terry above my head that's okay no no I was holding my baby that's where I thought you could I think if you're old in a baby you can ask all sorts of but the trouble is you see I look a bit old to half a baby says you probably just thought I'd grab one on public transport and jumped out of an emergency exit that was the that was the thing but um it was a serious question I've been trying to

to show, when I take Buzz to bed, all this week, when we got, go up the stairs, he starts going moan, moon, and I can't find it. I look through windows on both side of the house.

Well, it's very apt as he's called Buzz. He would have an obsession. That's easy. Yeah, I never thought of that. That's his course. But I couldn't find it. I thought it must be directly, absolutely directly above the house, so I couldn't see it through the wind. like it was lining up for an alien abduction.

Right. And I couldn't find it anywhere. So we went out into the street to try and find it where I could see everywhere. And so I still couldn't see it. So I just asked, as you would say, you know, do you know where the nearest phone booth is? A question that hasn't been asked for about 15 years. Who answered? Well, I haven't really spoke.

So anyone in the street for 15 years. Other than to say, thank you very much. That's very nice of you. Nice. Who asks for the nearest phone booth? People calling Spider is generally who asked for the nearest phone booth That's another story

But we found Where's the moon tonight? I just wondering how it sounds when you say it I know She was, I mean And then I think she panicked And said she's very cute Speaking about the baby

Oh, really well Are you sure she wasn't speaking about you In a slightly camp way Well, she's very cute I'm not serving her She wants to know where the moon is Can I hazard a guess at what I think the problem was? What?

Go on. Light pollution. Was it light pollution? No, no, I put the light off. Oh, did you? Yeah. But you live in London. I found it in the end.

We found it. Did you? Does it? That makes sense. It's good at finding the moon. And it was a lovely crescent. Oh, I saw that crescent, Frank. Yes, it looked like...

You saw the whole of it. It looked like a lovely... If you can imagine a lovely nail clipping in the... guy. Yeah, I can now. It looked like that. You know, when you see a nail clipping on a carpet, when you know when you cut your nails and there's always one that goes astray,

there's that one that flies, you know, go where it's gone, and later you see it on the carpet. It's like, how beautiful. Tune in for more moon reviews next Saturday. I've enjoyed it. I did. Finding things quite frightening. On July 16th, the Hawk lands on Netflix.

From the mind of Will Ferrell. Oh, mama, I'm back. The Cod in the Out! Comes a new original series. Get ready, get ready. That's it. Did I stutter? When an iconic pro golfer.

Lonnie? Honey! Hawkins! Takes one last swing at greatness. You were a big shot golfer. I still am a big shot golfer. No one. Dad, I'm the Hawk now.

Will stand in his way. That's how it's done. The Hawk, only on Netflix, July 16th.