The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner’s Radio Days: TV

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

We’re still in 2010 with Frank, Emily and our dear Gareth. This time the best bits include The Last of the Summer Wine being axed, old wives tales and Emily being zinged by a child. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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libelings-TRAX. Now, at Reve-D.E. Slash-Shop or in the REVE-A-A-PURV-SURV. Online-besten, in-Mark-mort-moling. Hello and welcome to Frank Skinner's Radio Days. We're still in 2010 and this time we have a proper radio texting.

Well, not a proper one, like a good one. Not like, you know, when they have things like, oh, have you got a song with the word love in the title? What are they doing? Making money out the texts. Anyway, ours was what's an old wife's tale you still live by? I bet there loads of people are screaming at the... well you can't scream at the radio

and have to scream at your iPhone not as good anyway enjoy there was a newspaper article this week saying that lots of people believe in old wife's tales old wives tale old wives tales you're going to sample this

article by the way I was told by the producer can you remind everyone who you are really what about that for a dig so this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily and Gareth joining in I've never been so insult. Carry on. 69% of people believe in Old Wives' Tales and 72% passed them onto their children.

Oh, wow. How do we define an old Wives' Tale, would you say? It's not like a proverb, is it? No. It's actual, like, it's a bit like science. It's things like, oh, don't swallow chewing gum, where your insides will stick together. Yes. Now, I was told that, and I still have never swan that chewing gum.

Yeah. That's actually, that's a good point. I never did swallow chewing gum. Just thinking about it was enough. I thought it would be quite a good thing for your organs to be all intact. Stop them rattling around. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, but not if they get gunged up.

But, you know, I honestly never have swallowed chewing gum because of that. Really? Yeah. In fact, that old wife's tale, there's upon all those little black shadows on pavements all over Britain because people spit out their chewing them rather than swallowing. So that's an old wife's town. Basically, it destroyed society on one level.

They need to be careful, these old wives. They don't think it through. They're responsible. Don't sit too close to the... the telly i used to get told as well you should go blind or something it'll affect you and also you used to say don't don't have the telly raised because if you look up at the telly it's really bad for your eyesight but they only said that when we watched tis was they never said that when the railway children or something nice was on like a BBC drama we never we never watched

i don't know if we had the BBC on house and there's lots of them there's lots of them where they say they're not true so things like going outside with wet hair will give you a cold that's not true is that not true no see i can't let them go the old wives's days no Most body heat is lost through the head. It's not true. Not if you live in Newcast, then you're a girl, it's not. My mum used to say, don't put hot tea bags in the bin, or you'll set the bin on fire.

That's just ridiculous. How hot were these tea bags? Well, they had to be kept alongside a nuclear reactor. My parents said, don't put your Sobrani cocktail cigarettes in the bin, and you'll set the bin on fire. So I said, okay, I'll use the ashtray. Oh, there you are. Don't you have the difference between us?

We have a scale. A sort of a class scale with a sobriani... I'll take it the cocktail cigarettes with the... The coloured ones? The pastel shade, yeah. They were the first ones I smoked. No, we're not talking about a black rush and we're talking about the... No.

The pastel shades. No, my nanny used to buy them for me. And on the other side, not only a tea bag, but one of the... I remember when tea bags came out, this is how old. I didn't know they were gay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on about that ban the tea bags. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Now, a tea... I remember the advert that said, no teas in a bag. It was quite a big. I couldn't believe it. Well, it's in a bag, but no flavour will come out. Oh, God. It's become a history lesson. Anyway, text, if you've got any old wife's tales that you still stick by or have let you down, do text us.

This feels like a proper radio phone in, doesn't it? Yeah. 8, 12, 15, we're on. My mum used to say potatoes would grow behind your ears if you didn't wash them properly. God, I think my mum said that. See, how did they spread? There was no internet then. Why did these old wives have some sort of network?

The oral tradition, Frank. Oh, the oral tradition. They love that, the old wives. I remember when I was a plumber, like, anyway, I don't have time for silly reminiscences. This is no name but phone number ending 570. I was told if I pick my nose, my head will cave in. Oh, yeah, that's another one I remember.

They're looking at me like I'll go, oh yeah. No one ever said that to me. No, well, in your house, they just quoted Ibson. But, you know, I'd see there's a lot of wisdom in the people, the wisdom of the people. Yes, and also with this, Old Waves tale, don't play with your belly tails. Old Waves tales. Don't play with your belly button or your bum will fall off. Love wisdom in the people.

Hey, I don't, is that right? No. Is that how it's secured? Secured. I don't know, it's got the feeling of a screwhead. There's an element of a screwhead or some sort of bolt about the navel. It's got to be doing something, isn't it? That might be medically correct, I don't know.

Cat in London says, Hi Frank, my mum used to tell us that if we opened our Christmas presents before 9 a.m., they would disappear. I don't know, unless they were, like, biscuits. It depends which area they lived in as well. You left the door open. If they were bowls of cereal, that's what they got bought for. Or vapour. One of those families that bought quite a lot of vapour for the kids in jars.

I'll tell you what I was a very saddened boy this week. This is the clue. Oh, God. Oh. How depressing. I'll go to bed, I think. Is this as surely as faster than this?

No, no, this is as fast as he gets. This is as good as it gets. Need a beat. How depressing. Oh. Last of the Summer Wine? Well, anyway, the Last of the Summer Wine has been quaffed. Who knew?

Yeah, so it's, it's, it is being pulled last of the summer wine. Oh, I used to really like that. What, Last of the Summer Wine, so did I. First thing in the morning sometimes. Yes. But why was that news? What was it like the news in 1973, and decimalisation has been introduced? I like Garrett's idea that it could, if it would, if you gave it a beat, it would,

it would beefing up a bit. That's a good idea. Can you handle that, Gareth? Let's give it a try. Let's break it down. Here we go. It didn't work, it didn't work as it. It's always worth trying.

Morning. Just bring up your greatest moment just to bring the confidence back up. You know what I thought is really offensive is when they were discussing the fact that the show was being cancelled, they had as the headline in the sign, Cleggover, meaning it would be the end of the road for the character,

which I thought was horrible for that poor old distinguished actor. Peter Salas. Yeah, Cleggover. I think it would be more horrible for any Liberal Democrat who picked the papal. Oh, no, not him as well. Yeah, it's I can't say,

I'll be honest with you, I read it. It was a big, like, sensational headline that they were pulling there. And I thought, is that still on? I know. I thought it had gone about six or seven years ago. It's like I read, there was an Eddie Large interview, and it said, in the paper, it's an Eddie Large said this week to the TV Times. And I thought, that's still going.

So I need, I need to get up to date. People are really got it that these things are disappearing. We don't even know that it was still on. I've had seven years to get used to the idea that last of the summer one. Mine is not anymore. That music's so depressing, though. Oh, it's worse than my other ones that I hate. You know when a theme music comes on and you just think,

I have to just turn the tell you off. You remember that Mr. Ben when you were a kid. Do da, do da, do da, doda, do. Oh, that was actually made me cry. I didn't go like that, did it? Yeah, that was Mr. Ben. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-la-da. Don't you remember that?

No, I don't remember that. No, no. Nothing. So what used to get on my nurse was the two Ronnie's theme. How did that go? Well, exactly. Oh. No, because it used to go.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You stick in your own time? Oh, yes, I do remember that now. Never started that theme. And the one, well, I did Parkinson. I was interviewed on Parkinson, and he shouted at me. Parkinson did? Yeah, because Stephen Redgrave was sitting next to me, and Parkinson asked me a question.

Is that the row-a-man? Yeah, the row-a-man. Okay. And I said to him, I said to Stephen Redgrave, I said, well, you must, This must be like this for you, Steve, when you're... And Parkinson said, are you doing the interview? I'm talking to him. Oh, he got threatened.

And I went, whew! And I put a curse on him, and as I said before, there's no advertising death on daytime television. Happens to us all. As if giving people a free pen makes it all right. So, yeah, so after that, you know, he's... Da-da-la-na-da-la-da-da-da-la-da-la.

Oh, I'm loving this. But after that, I used to watch it. I always used to go, do do da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da in a scathing way and I felt that some way got my own back my worst theme tune was the birds of a feather theme tune oh that's depressing remember that when I'm alone

oh yeah it was so wrong for comedy you hated it but you listened to it enough time to learn the words yeah watched it quite a lot But you know what, I said, no minor keys for comedy. That's the rule. That's an interesting rule that I'm going to write down. I think it's to lower the bar of comedy before the comedy starts,

do something really sad at the start. God, I wish I thought of that this morning. Sycanon from PGR, Marchant Hill, Surrey says, shows I... What? What was that? What was that? Sartner. Sight Cannon from PG on Merchant Hill. I thought you were clearing your throat. He knows where he's from.

Who does? Who? Who? We don't even know who he is. Say the name. Side Cannon. Side cannon. People, we've got armaments now texting us. Okay, side cannon.

Yeah, we've got Ackack God as called in. From Aldershot. Short for Simon. Simon Cannon from where? At PGL, Marchant's Hill, Surrey. Okay, thank you. Oh, you're giving his entire address? Thank you for enunciating.

Anyone who wants to write to Sy Cannon, there you go. Sy Cannon would be great. You like the few. and he goes, Oh. Like my jokes. Don't put yourself down. I think you'll find that's my job.

Shows that I miss from TV. Magnum P.I. The A-Team and Baywatch. Aren't they all still on? Yeah. And what he needs to get is satellite. What I miss, I miss his clothes down. Do you remember that?

Oh, yeah. I loved a bit of closed down. At the end of the night, it's incredible now. But about 10 to 12, that's someone to say, well, That's it from television for today. Yeah. What was on after that?

The National Anthem. And then it went black. Then you were alone with your thoughts. We're back? No, no, no, telly in the night. Half the 10 o'clock at night? No, not 10 to 12. Yeah.

That was it. Yeah. It just went do... I look forward to it now. Yeah. You know what I mean? It never happens. I think it was great.

No, TV doesn't say, right, you've had enough now. No, it doesn't. It says you've never had enough. We never go. in a way. We're here all night, even though you're asleep. I want it to nag at you that you're missing us. That's what it says now. We've taken all by radio

shows and've done a bit of editing and tightening. It's a walk-down memory lane and I know because people find new things quite frightening. It's 80's weekend. How is it? Yeah. I didn't notice the difference. No.

Yeah, I've started drinking again. I've already had a bottle of sherry this morning. And might I say, I could have done. Oh, I'm still in eight. Wasn't there a whole decade dedicated to the 80s? I don't know if it was a whole decade. Was it not? No, I think...

Let's skip a couple. I think 88 and 89, actually, they sort of merged with the 90s. Six months each. Yeah, something like that, yeah. You've got to give people a bit of a ramp when they're coming out of a decade. You don't want that sudden... Oh, God. And you're in a different decade.

You know, when you're falling asleep and you feel... What do they call that, hypnot jerk? Oh, I hate that. Like on the tube, when you see someone keep waking up. Well, the theory is that your body becomes so relaxed, your muscles, that you're not, you know, normally when you sit, you support yourself. Yeah. Or lie, because your body's not supporting itself in any way, it thinks it's falling through the air. So it responds in a bit of a, ooh. So I want to imagine, see, if you jumped off the top of a large skyscraper, at some point you go, ooh, like that might possibly break your fall in some way.

I doubt that it would. If anyone's listening, don't try it. etc. Didn't, you know, did you see? I don't mean did you see with Ludwig Kennedy, if you think this is going to be a list of shows from the past. Ludo, friend of my father, this anyway. Was it really?

Yeah, my dad knew him. Marvelous. Did you see the boy George bio program? If it's a TV program, it's not a biopic then, it's a bio... Oh, yeah, bio show. I did see that, and it was one of the best things I've ever seen. I loved it. No, you don't mean that, do?

I do. Why, didn't you, did you see it? I saw it. Why would I bring in, just because I wanted to know what it was like? I thought it was one of the worst things I've ever seen. You're joking? Wow. Yeah, I mean, it was... Oh my God, what's wrong with you?

Why? How could you not like it? It was like backstage, it stars in their eyes. It was one of these things. If it's people dressed up, no need to act, as long as the makeup's right. It was basically the story of Boy George Ang and all that. So there's a bit where the camera pans around the club, It's called Worried about the boy, wasn't it? Is that what it was called?

Yeah, yeah. And, like, Duran Duran were in a corner chatting. I like the idea that they always hung around as a group. And they're captioned as Duran Duran. I mean, obviously, that's putting up. They don't walk around with a large. I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Well, that was helpful for me because I didn't know who anyone was.

Oh, did you see it? Yeah, I saw it. Okay. How dare you say that on absolute 80s weekend? When we're not acknowledging it in the last 30 years. Yeah. It's actually, this is a good topic for absolutely 80s week. And what a company man I've become in recent times.

Yeah. There was, I think it's had that thing where, because we're in the know, you know, because George is, you know, somebody's playing George, somebody quite handsome, I thought. A Burberry model. That's a handsome man. He's a Burberry model. Is he really?

Well, anyway, he would be knocking around. But you think, well, obviously this is going to become by George. And so people say to him stuff like, You, write a song. And I hate that kind of thing. Somebody said, yeah, the day George forms a band, I'll, etc, etc. And you think you can't just keep doing that. My favourite bit was when he was at school.

So it's just boy George in a school uniform. Yeah. And the guy says, so what are you interested in? He goes, make up? Yeah. There's no career in makeup, boy. So did you like it? You've been non-committal.

I thought it was all right. I didn't know who everyone was. Oh, we represent the entire spectrum, don't we? I loved it. You loathed it. You don't really care. Absolute 80s weekend. Sorry, the jingles haven't turned up this morning.

You've got to think on your feet in this job. Why is it all Gregorian monk chart, the absolute 80s weekend? Yeah, we've got rid of Matt Berry. I think he goes on. He goes on with his droning, deep voice, and we've gone Gregorian. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex.

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Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Frank's the radio base, the yeas away the base. I've noticed that Emily's sunglasses have been a bit more evident. Oh, well, you're right, but you know, because summer is my season, just so everyone knows. I wondered when that was. Frank likes the fall.

Oh, that is, that's absolutely excellent. Garrett's toasting that comment with a can of orangina. Don't joke. They love puns, kids. They do. No, they don't actually. They don't get puns at all kids. You have to explain it to them.

They like you're telling the joke, but then you have to explain it to them. Do you know, I had this last week. I went to a 60th birthday party in Tewksbury. And I had no, it was a surprise party. I didn't even know I was 60. But a lot of 60-year-olds don't, let's face it. But we stayed in a premiere. in. It's the most Lenny Henry thing up there. Yeah, it's the Lenny Henry.

What happened in the Premier in? Well, we all had a group breakfast the next morning, like the, you know, um, um, well, I love it. Yeah, exactly. It was fabulous. Premier, I mean, all the staff came and they were very nice. They gave me a free bacon sandwich. Did they? Well, I jumped and, you know, when you jump and you click your heels while you're still in the air. Right, Bruce Forsyth? I don't think he can do that anymore. He jumped and clicked his heels. I'm afraid when he landed, he'd never rise again.

But, anyway, so we were chatting away. And there was a couple of children at the table. It's not, and that's no place for kids. No, well, they were doing, they're doing that thing. You know, the kids sit at the food table, but they don't, they just, there's food there. But they're never really consumed. It's just messed with, and they just drink pop. Anyway, somebody said, oh, Frank, Frank knows lots of jokes.

He'll tell you some jokes. So I just ran through my act. Oh, my goodness. No, I didn't. I thought, well, I'll tell them some of those, you know, silly child jokes that I remember from my childhood. So I started with, I think as many of us would, I started with where does Tars and get his clothes from a jungle sale. Very good. And nothing.

Absolutely nothing. They don't know what jumble sale is. They don't know what a jumble sale is. They only know eBay. You should have said from eBay. I know it wouldn't have worked, but it would have been accurate. Wouldn't have quite worked now. I mean, it would be worth a try.

but no so that was that was a failure and then I tried I tried another couple of child jokes from Beano and all the references were wrong I did like a

you know that one when you the minus strike thing I did that and there was another one about the Franco-Prussian War went down like a not go down well

but I started I started to panic because, you know, at the end of the day I'm a professional comic. I was getting nothing from these kids. And I thought, I've got to leave on a laugh. And I was doing funny faces, anything that I thought would bring nothing. And it hung with me, I must say. I feels like my last gig, you know, was a bad gig. Well, it wasn't a Premier Inn, love.

It wasn't a Premier Inn. And that made it worse as I was on Lenny Henry's home ground than I bombed. Welcome to the Not the Weekend podcast. I am Frank Skinner. Hello. Well, I wasn't introducing myself to you, you're buffoon. That was Gareth. You made it sound like you were Frank Skinner.

Yeah, in a way we all are. Well, yeah. And that was Emily. Now, Em... Oh, I know what you're going to talk about. You've been abused, haven't you? I've been a bit abused this thing. Oh.

Well, tell me what you think, honestly. What I like about YouTube... Well, I think you're a smart... Oh, sorry? What I like about you, too, is I know you'll be honest with me. You do it. So, I ran into a friend of mine this week, my friend, Julian, who's a very old university friend. What do you drive?

What do I drive? Yeah. Why do you ask me? I thought you were disguised in some sort of prang. No. Oh, okay. No, it wasn't a fender bender. So I ran into Julian, and he was with this little boy, who's lovely.

I said, hi. George, how are you? And he looked at me very blankly. And Julian was a bit embarrassed, and he went, you remember, Em, don't you? And he said, yeah, you do, George, this is Emily, you know, am I? No.

Come on, George, you remember? No. And then he paused and he went, and do you know what? I've never even heard of you. You're sure he's not a dormant? It was awful. Oh, dear.

And what can you? I mean, you can't say that to it. Did you laugh? I felt really upset. Well, you were upset? No, I just, I wanted to respond and say something bitchy, but I thought it wouldn't be a good look. I thought I'd come out of that exchange badly. So I went, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

You should have said, you know what, George? You look like a sort of pickle leak. He doesn't. He's actually very good looking. Is he? Well, that makes it worse, doesn't he? He's not going to get any nicer. Let's face it.

You just say, you know what, George, you're never going to find love. Well, I think this is getting rather hard. I'm starting to feel bad about this now. But there is something peculiarly upsetting when a child insults you like that, I think. Well, it's a feeling, isn't it, that children just speak the truth? And you think, and also there's always that feeling as, well, as he heard the parents say something like that. That's what I was thinking. Yeah.

It's hardly likely the parents would have said. I saw her the other day, and the wife would say, I've never even. That's unlikely. But, yeah, you do think that hatred has been encouraged at home. I went to a friend, I once and he got a little sister, I suppose she was about... It would be about ten. And she suddenly said, I wasn't even speaking to her.

I was talking to him. And she suddenly said, you've got evil eyes. I mean, I had them in a bag. You know those goldfish bags you get from... They had about four eyes in that. I think there was two blues and a brown. I'd just plucked from people in the street. It was this karate move, I was proud.

No, she looked at. I can't believe she said that. I know, it was... I can't believe she said that. It was, um... And there was another one. You've got very kind, nice eyes. Thanks.

Maybe I was just looking at her in a yule, really tough. And then another, again, a younger sister, actually. I went around, and she, I don't know what, she was just looking at me, the way kids really staring. Yeah. That's another thing that... Oh, no, I hate it when they stare at you. Oh, see, I miss staring.

I think when you're an adult you've got to be careful about staring but I love really staring at really like you know perusing people Yeah That's the joy of big brother really isn't it Well that's true Anyway so

She was looking at me So I just took my tongue out And she said your tongue is like a spike Right And I thought well you know I don't want to press this any further And I went around the the house, oh, probably a month

later, and she went, oh, it's the spike. That would become your moniker. Exactly. The spike. I'll show you my tongue. Oh, I like it. It is quite pointing. I like the fact that you're the spike. That's like the name that the police give a criminal.

Please were looking for a man with a spiky tongue. Looker and known as the Spike. The Spike. It's been seen in the West Bromwich area. I wasn't sure about it When I used to wear I used to wear an earring Did you read it? Yes

Did you not notice? Why did you stop? What the hell? Well I got it It was an engagement thing Engagement ring We got it for when we got engaged With Laura me and her

The trouble with an engagement earring Is that the kneeling You don't need to finish that sentence What is the kneeling ritual You know when you kneel to give them the So when you kneel you can't reach the earing I had an eyebrow ring at one point Did you really?

Yeah He's got a weird double-life fact that I don't wish to know about I would only have an eyebrow ring if I was going to go, if I had one bad eye and I was going to opt for a suspended monocle I'd hear what story I like this week

I like the man who The jigsaw man Oh yeah Who spent, what is it, 20 years doing a two million piece jigsaw? No, seven years doing a 5,000 piece jigsaw, but as you were. Yeah, and then there was a piece missing at the end. Oh, that's so annoying.

It's like marriage, isn't it? Yeah. A piece missing? Well, you know, you spend all those years pulling together this elaborate puzzle, thinking eventually it'll be finished and perfect, and then it never quite, there's always a hole, a jagged hole. So, um... I loved a jigsaw, though, when I was a kid.

I had a 242 pisa. It was of Henry the 8th. Was it? The Holbein portrait, I loved it. Oh, the Holbein, one of my favourites. I mean, some people say Holbein was slightly two-dimensional in his thing, but I'm all right with that. It's stylised.

Yeah. Yeah. Some of his Erasmus portraits are absolutely top of the pile. Is that our texting, Fave Holbein portraits? I think that would be the best texting that had ever been. Actually, I think Neil Francis did it about eight months just before he left. Oh, no, I think that was Holbein, actually. I think that might have been Borgle.

Oh, okay, yeah. Anyway, I had this thing. I used to play when I was a kid. I didn't really do Dixels. We played a brick and stick. What? Brick and stick was you put a stick on the gutter. Oh, that's a nice game.

So it leans at an angle. And then you put a brick on the bottom. Then you stamp on the other end of the stick, and the brick flies high, high into the air. I haven't seen that in Toys Arras, that game. I don't know if you could do it, Elf and Safety Wife. Because I did it. I was so fascinated by the stone

that I stood staring over it and didn't stand back and I've jettisoned it straight into my mouth. And you see I've got two chipped teeth at the front there. Is that from brick and stick? That's the brick and stick injury. I had no idea. They've never grown back. You'd think that teeth would, you know,

they'd sort themselves out. They don't. Because you were transfixed by the brick. I was transfixed by the brick, yeah. We played weddings and we played brothels. Oh, just a minute. No, when I say brothels is with dolls, obviously. Let me have a look at the absolute manual.

Brabree, brass. Brian Adams. That controversy. Don't mention. Oh, no, brothels, yeah. Brossils are seven times. We're allowed. Oh, okay. I'll call it Cat House. Yeah, so you... Well, we played weddings.

That was with us. That was actually, that wasn't with dolls. Who were the os? You and your... Me and my sister and the neighbour's children. And, but... Because my parents were atheists, we didn't have any Bibles in the house.

So we had to cover a Mr. Men book with foil. What happened when you got a ganglion? I know what that's a reference to. There's a certain cyst one gets that you had to hit with a Bible to get rid of it. Oh, well. Anyway, so... So we covered a misdemean book. remember it with foil. That was the prayer book. That's the same thing. Yeah. And then I wore a nightie

and a towel on my head and I married Kenichi, the son of the Japanese businessman. You married Kenichi? Yeah. And then it all went wrong because he squirited me with a water pistol. Oh, okay. That was the end of that. Yes. And the second state? So, what, brothels? Oh, no, that's it now. No more brothels. Well, you stop saying it. Oh, sorry. That was just with our dolls. Actually, Chris Eubank told me that it was where the headquarters of the European Union was held. Very good. Thank you very much.

Excellent, France. I'm always working. I like I'm sitting here, relax, but I'm always working. Inside me, there are little men going through a filing cabinet. It's like there's no tomorrow. And at my age, there might not be. Good night, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, no, no, it's not the...

It was the end. I just got a big sign next minute that said, move on. And I just thought that was... Really? Yeah. Is that... Oh no, it's a van by the window. It's one now.

It's Gordon Brown stuff leaving down in the street. Do you want to know about brothels? I do want to know, yeah, but, you know, I have to play music as well, that's part of the roll. But I'm going to... But we can't say it again. We're not to get a new word for it. What's other words for it? A Bordillo.

I like, I'm liking that. That's what that means, isn't it? Yeah. You said it and then lost... Bordello, isn't it, rather than Bordillo? Oh, let's call the whole thing. broth. See, I had to change, I had to slightly lose a syllable on that which

wasn't as good, I'll be straight with you. No one ever calls it a broth for short, did they? Unless you got like a load of cooks in it, I suppose. Too many... See, that's what we need. That's the scandal we need a load of TV chefs in a whorehouse. Yeah. So many cooks spoil the broth. Oh, it's word. Why

don't they do it? Just for that. These people have no sort of pawn sensitivity. That's the morning! Childhood Games. We'd like you to text in your unusual childhood games you had an odd one didn't you my one my favourite one 812 15 sorry

on 812 15 and the chocolate game no chocolate game that you pay at parties well you ate it no no what you do is you throw a dice so you're sitting a circle you throw a dice and if you roll a six it's your turn can I just stop me why have I got strangely

anxious about this anecdote I just I'm watching Gareth Gareth's getting excited into the story and I'm looking for pitfalls of all kinds. I should be more confident. Go on, Gareth. You've thrown the dice,

first one gets a six. Yeah. If you get a six, you have to put on a hat, a scarf and a pair of gloves, and then you get a knife and fork, and there's a chocolate bar, and until someone rolls another six,

you have as much time as, well, you have to try and eat as much chocolate as you can. Open the chocolate wrapper with the knife and fork. What the hell is this? It's a game. I've never heard of it.

Have you not heard of it? Was it just in your house? No, I went to parties. I didn't like it because it all got a bit desperate and frantic. You went to parties? Whatever happened to that pastime? Like, you know, birthday parties when you were a kid. You know, in those days, you can't just invite people you want.

Your mum says, oh yeah, invite Garris. Yeah. No one ever invites him. Oh, no, I don't remember. He did any parties at all as a child. I don't think, I think with the blackout, we couldn't enjoy it. Didn't you have brick and stick, pot? They were great, those.

It was very much an outdoor event, though, and I don't know if we had summer. Well, you weren't allowed after you got transfixed by the brick. That's why they didn't invite you to the stick-in-brick parties. Perhaps I wasn't part. I never remember going to a child's birthday party, ever. Well, there's still time. Yeah, if I go into balloon modelling, is there past time?

I remember one game I hated was the... I feel bad about this, but I'm going to tell you, I used to hang around with these kids who used to catch a frogs and then torture them. And I didn't do But I pretended I was all right with that I used to go home And I used to cry I used to properly cry

It's a bit like when Emily does a joke About working class people And I join in I go home And I sob In my own home I also Me and my cousin Dave

He had a I had a Batman outfit Which my mom made Like grey school jumper Yeah And then she put the bat crest on it And stuff Oh that's so sweet

Did she sew it on? Yeah And I had black wellingtons, blue jeans. Oh, Black Wellington. Batman doesn't wear Black Wellington. Well, he did in a house. And then my nephew had like, you know, yellow T-shirt, red tank top. We thought it through.

He had the shorts trunks. He had to wear green swimming trunks in the street. But we used to dress up like this for me and him. And I was slightly taller than him, so it was perfect. But we never really came up with any games to play. So we just sort of hung around with the other kids but dressed as Batman and Robin. It was like more Batman and Robin leisure time If you can imagine an episode

When Batman and Robin had fallen on hard times And were unemployed And just hung around Sat around drinking orange squash Yeah so we didn't pretend we were fighting villains We just sat and talked about Stuff for hung around with the other kids That were perfectly well-dressed

That's the problem is that when I was a kid I used to read the famous five books And they always had mysteries to solve and everything there was never anything to mysteries to solve when I was a kid never won mystery oh we had loads where's my dad out tonight that was a good game we loved that who's he with tonight mine was who will my dad hit tonight yeah my goodness now not I don't mean our family I'm any outside

so what did you blindfold your dad and then sort of spin him round yeah in the pop and then release him and then say just go for it he could take two or three down before they'd uh before they got out of there it's cold friends game was radio days a golden day as in stupor, and mean days as in the sevens of the week, so this is a takeout, a glooper.