The Frank Skinner Show - Frankisms

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

Frank and Emily are joined by Ania Magliano! The team talk advent calendars, What Three Words and Frank regrets asking for a debrief. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio, Frank Off the Radio, it's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Martyr, Rembling Rose of the Wildwood, Martyr with your essence, divine. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Anya Magliano. You can follow the podcast on XN. email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonukk.com and 0-7457-4-7-4-1-7-629. Oh, it's that one that lingers on the 69. Don't use lingers.

No, you're right. Do you have to use lingers? Yeah. He conningly lingers. Oh, no. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, sorry, Josh. Deeply unpleasant. Deeply on.

So, it's Christmas time. We put our tree up under quid. What? To get a put up? No, to buy it? Is that because you have a big house? So you have a big tree. We have a big tree.

They have a big and... Wow. I've got a small... I put mine up. Yeah. I have a dinky one. Mine is petite, Frank. Oh, okay.

It's beautiful. Is it a living one or one that you get out of the cupboard every year? It's foe because I just feel more comfortable with a foe. Comfortable morally? No, there's no morality in it. It's actually for raise allergies. Oh, okay. That's fine.

I find dogs generally at home with a tree. Although mine is a female dog. So she does try and cock a leg off. She's seen that in the street. It's very poor. Very poor facsimile. of a male dog urinate him. She looks so proud after.

Oh, that's so sweet. Well, I do it sometimes. Does Poppy, does she like the Christmas tree then? Is she a fan? She doesn't really have an opinion. Anywhere near it. Does she not? No.

I gave up on Christmas what, I don't know, 30 years ago. Goodness. For me, when I was drinking, Christmas was just a time it was took longer to get served. That's what I associate it. But then when I met. When I met my now wife, she fucking loves Christmas. She does. So we are December the 1st is when the treetalk begins.

And she also does an Advent calendar for Boz and for my nephew, Elliot. She makes one. Yeah. Wow. Very artistic. She does 25 tiny little. stockings all clipped up with different gifts in that she's gathered. That is amazing.

But she also has a, I don't know why, she has a backup bought Advent calendar as well. Does she? Where, what? Bozzi has happened to get up half an hour earlier in the morning to the fucking Advent calendar. Anyway. Well, Jonathan Ross gives me one. I've heard that.

Thanks. God's sake. Apologies to all the Ross family if you're listening. Godchildren. We've wondered for you. At last. Heaven's sake. I like where this episode is going. It's more unlikely than me and you, frankly.

Anyway, so what did he give you? He gives a lovely one. Let me guess. I agree. H. Samuel. No. Vogue. A bit of jewell. Vogue up and calendar. What is in that? What isn't in it?

A Zen pick. No. That'd be good. How often do people, is it daily as MPE? I think it's every month. Well, that'd be no good for a bloody advent of calendar. Don't it be one? What are you going to have put in for the rest of the time? Smaller clothes.

Glass of water. Do you know in a Zenpick calendar would be great because then you just put a different shot in every... Is it daily? I think it is daily. Oh, is it? I don't know. It can't really...

This probably we're not on it at least. We don't know. Unless we're, you know. Unless it's a double-blop. This all has been a whole set-up right from the very first lingering on 69. It's all been scripted. Exactly.

Anyway, I can thoroughly recommend the Vogue Advent calendar. There's jewels. Jewels? There's jewels. There's high-end skin care. It's extraordinary. That sounds great. How big is it?

Oh, it's huge. I might put a little picture of it up. It's on the wall. It's half the size of me, and they're probably the same thickness. It's very thick. It's like a proper house. Oh. That sounds really good.

I've just got a tea advent calendar. Oh, really? Tea. Yeah. Like herbal teas. Oh, so there's a big. bag in every day. There's two bags in every day. You get two of the same flavour.

Today was ginger beer. What's on December 25th? I don't know. Yeah, that'll be some stupid bloody mould wine. Is my tea calendar too woke for you? No, no, it's fine. Buzz has got

bloody woke karate with the tea. Buzz has got rock guts. Oh, that's nice. So every day there's a little figurine of a rock god that you hang on the tree and the great thing is i thought i know what it'll be like you know when you watch 20 rock greats and it's a few talking heads and then you get things and you're constantly saying that's not fucking rock yeah yeah but this like rob zombie we've got on the

tree eddie van hayland is on our tree i mean they're proper rock gods do they get involved in the christmas merch then the rock gods no i don't know who's put this together, but they look great. Do you know Rob Zombie? I don't know who that is. I just sort of laughed at the name. No, but I'm getting in a sort of vague idea of what his threats might line in it. He's got a song called Well, Everybody's Fucking in a UFO.

That's one of his songs. I love the Well on that. Is it Wellcom. I don't know what the Well is about. Well. It's a bit Larry Grayson. Slightly what will they think of next tone from Rob Zomby. Tea Advent calendars.

He's got one. I wrote this down. A hearse that overturns with the coffin bursting open. That's one of his song. That's a song title? Yeah. Wow. Oh, that's festive.

And he does a bit of dance stuff. So you get verges, you know, you get like remixes. So he's got a super beast, porno, holocaust mix. No. Anyway, he's on our Christmas tree. It's very Christy. It's great, though. It's great with all those little rock dogs.

What angel do you have? Have? Do you have an angel? Do you keep your religious? Boss made a silver star at school when he was about seven, and we've retained that, and that goes on top. Oh, how lovely. Do you have other decorations alongside the rock stars?

Are they fitting in with, like, baubles and bangles? Bright shiny beads, jingle, jingle. Yeah. Mine has a rose gold colour way. A lot of pink and rose gold. It's very... And the Vod Advent calendar. It's very cheap.

You're getting the pick. Yeah. It sounds comes out every yearish. Mine is all, I've handmade all my decorations this year so that I ripped up an old book and used it to make paper chains. Oh, I love that. It looks quite nice when you see other people doing it on Instagram and then you look in the house and you go,

this looks like I hate that. So Tassmaster isn't quite the stairway to the stars that it used to be, it seems. Yes, I did Tassmaster and then I had to make my own Christmas decorations out of old books? It was made actually, I say it like, it wasn't old books, it was free books, I get sent for PR. So that's where the, that's where the stars must.

All those authors think we'll send it to Anya Magliana. That could be our stairway to the, oh, she's turned them into paper chains for her Christmas Day. I always find paper chains a bit depressing. You know, the big round ones? Do you know the ones I mean those paper chains? Very, quite thick. Like that?

It's quite chunky. They look like sort of in the old days, prisoners of manacles. Do you know the ones I mean? Oh, I know, I know, manacles. Yeah, I used to work with a woman called Terry Carroll. There was an old lady. This is on the comedy circuit in the... Really? What was her job?

She used to dance to music. Meanwhile, with a pair of scissors. She would cut at this paper. And then hold out the thing, and it would be all like dancing ladies that she'd cut out. It's quite like those. Like they cut them out of the newspaper. Then I'd go on and get 20 minutes of anal sex jokes. The variety.

That's what people want. That's what they want. I really met you at the right time, I feel, when that was just becoming a little bit in the rearview mirror. Rearview mirror, as well. Oh, Frank, please. That's what I needed, a rearview mirror. Then I could look them in the eye.

Frank, I don't want you to make it. Happy Christmas, everyone. People have this on round the fire. Have yourselves Oh Thank you. Stop it. Okay.

Just seen the back of all this. So you're doing this on purpose, I couldn't possibly say. You're leaving me wide open. Oh gosh, I'm too young to know what these means. Quite right. Oh dear. I wish I were. I'm glad you aren't.

We've lived difficult lives. All the children have left us. It's just me and you. We've lived very difficult lives. We've been together now for 40 years. Can I just say we haven't? No, we are. That never happened.

When did we meet? When did we meet? Yeah, how did you meet? I'd say exactly what happened. We met at Jonathan Ross's house. Of course. His mutual friend, obviously, of ours. And was the first night we met with Michael Hutchins?

No, I think he was. And Paulie. He was a late. I think that was the first night. I think he was an addendum. No. He was in a band called in Excess. He was a very famous music.

Oh, I love them. Yes. They're great. Yes, you would like them. Yeah, well, we played them. What was he? Pictionary. He was charming, man.

He was very nice. Anyway, no longer with us. No longer with us. So, like so many of the people from my anecdotes. What have you been up to anyway, Emily? I like sometimes. Well, I do want to. I'm going to get on to this, but can I just share something from the outside world with you

briefly? As long as it's not chlamydia. It's Frank. I've told you we've left that behind. Okay, yeah. 923 says, does Frank recall Lou Foley, the Lion Man, who kept his lions in a council house in black country in the 70s? Yes.

What? I never imagined you'd say yes to that. No, I, yeah, there was always a story. Not always, but every three or four months, there'd be a story in the papers about someone who had like lions or alligators in their council flower. If ever you are looking at the BBC news site and it says something like, man eats his own leg, it'll always have Birmingham and Black Country will be the sob headings.

It all happens there. I remember an elephant escaped from a circuit. They said it escaped. from a circus in, I can't remember where the circus was, but somewhere in the black continent. Yes. And it said in the article, it escaped using circus skills.

What did, was it diabloed out of there? I like to think it was right on the top of a big ball as it steadily stepped forward and wrong. But it never said what the skills were. You see, it used to be so much, but it's not acceptable now. And it's right that it's not acceptable. because I know you and I are both not fans of cruelty to animals

but there was, people did used to buy sort of lions and tigers and things from Harrods, didn't they, Frank? That was a very big thing. Did I? I don't know. I didn't know Harrods existed. I didn't know that. Wow. Oh yes, in the 70s. I remember there was a man who had, he had an alligator and a lion in an apartment.

Was it in Bonnillan? And they caught him. And it's illegal. And they took them away. And they interviewed him, remember. And he said, I'm absolutely heartbroken. He said, I love that lion. I love that lion.

And it meant the world to me. And I thought, imagine if the alligators listen to this. What? Hold on, what about? In prison as well. And then snobbed. Anyway. I tell you what I wanted to write.

So yes is the answer. I do remember that. Oh, do you know, I'm so happy you know about that. Is there a further thing or is it really fantastic? Well, no, it was just 9-2-3 and I enjoyed the brevity of it because we get a lot of people writing in Mags asking Frank about a sort of animal cruelty in the black country in the 60s and 70s. We had Dudley Zoo. That features quite regularly, doesn't it? Well, I, people ask me about things from black country history. Yes. But I've got to say now, if any email that begins, does Frank remember my stomach clenches like a fist? But that one I did, that one I did remember. Okay, I'm glad to it.

Well, we've also had, I should just quickly, well, I enjoyed this one. This is from Tony and Somerset. And I like a Tony and Somerset. We old do. Yes. He says, you asked us once if any Frankisms have made them. their way into our everyday lives. Did I?

I think I asked that. I'm finally getting in touch. I might have asked that in 2011. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Well, he's busy. He's got... Tony's got a lot on in Somerset.

Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. He's got all those lions. Sides, he's probably making cider. Oh, yeah. Is that what you're... That is, you're absolutely right. Somerset, I think, cider.

Yeah, okay. Tony just wants to share these three examples of how Frankisms have made. made their way into his life. I'll give you the person. Is he going to say, you know the way Frank always says, O'ar, who are? Well, a lot of people by me have started using that.

He has, number one, he says these are an increasing order of difficulty in terms of really be able to get them. I mean, I got all of them. So he describes this one as easy. Frank's impression for other people to think, oh, that's a reference. Oh, I see, I see, I see. Easy. Frank's impression of Ringo Starr

employed when my partner asks me to do something I would rather avoid, such as redecorating the spare bedroom. He says, No, you're all right. Okay. Which is something he said to one of the producers on my chat show when he asked him for an autograph. Wow.

Fair enough. Medium. Frank's impression of Paul Henry as Benny from Crossroads, which I've used in the face of accusations that I eat too much take away food. If I want a china, I do have a china.

Can I say we haven't rehearsed these? I didn't know these for coming. The last one's going to be hard now. It is hard. Okay. But we'll see how we get on. Hard. Frank's impression of David Ginola,

he was a very famous footballer, which comes out Whenever my partner says something patently ludicrous, it was, I'm going to give you a clue to this. I know what I said, I can't remember. I asked him if. I'm going to give you a hint. I asked him if rosé wine was you just mix red and white wine together.

And do you know what David Ginola said in response? What did he say? What are you talking about? Oh, that David Ginola, do you know that is, Mac? No. It was a footballer for spurs. and France. And he sort of became famous.

He crossed into the culture because he was good looking to the point of being absurd. He was so good looking. He's one of those French men who wore suits and up but had long hair. Right, right, right, right, right. Very blue eyes.

Okay. Sounds good, maybe I'll look him up. Yeah. Yeah, but a look. Yeah. I'll have a little look together later maybe. I think that was the first. Take the afternoon off. That was the first time.

Get the meatpacking. In English history. Yeah. That we finally gave him. and stopped calling him David and started calling him David. Really? Wow, he had that amount of power. Before that, we just anglicised all those foreign.

Pelly. Terry-on-Ree. Pelly, the best footballer of the world. Pelly. We're not going, aye. Pelly. There were some people at Arsenal and you could hear it was the anger.

They'd go, Terry-on-ri, they would not. Terry-en-ri-en-ri, yeah. Terry-en-ri, yeah. I like how all those frankisms are impressions of other people. Yes. It's like you're a vessel. I am. I'm just a blank page.

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shop 3 and 1 megablocks at Walmart for ages 3 plus I also had something I wanted to ask you guys are you familiar with what three words oh god someone like myself who gets lost everywhere I go what three words is essential I've never used it but I know what it is.

Have you not used it? used it. I'm fascinated that you're across it Frank. I see why it's particularly handy for me now you've asked is if I'm going to something like a festival, all the directions are to the public entrances. Oh yeah. But if I'm going to

artists or something like that, they can give you a what three words. I see. And it saves them having to say, there is the artist entrance. Don't mix with the Hoy-Palo. Well I do mix obviously when I'm in there but I wouldn't like to mistakenly, well, pay. Well, yeah, I was very late to the party. I think Buzz has probably, if you don't mind me saying,

being helpful to you, I like to think, with some of this technology. Well, that came from Omar, my tour manager. You can imagine for a tour manager, he takes you literally to the stage. Right. Well, I'm not as O'Fay with it. And I got an email and it said,

we'll see you there, poetic admire, walking. And I do think you've got to say, here are so it was like oh okay well it turns out that is a location on the heath

which is lovely because it's on the heath I read poems where that would be a completely acceptable album but that is on the Heath which is nice

because I do think of it is very poetic on the Heath and anyway I then got obsessed because when I find a new thing that's all I did

I looked up your address obviously I won't announce what you're what three words off your house. Don't do that. Because, you know, it's not a burglar's guide. But I got obsessed with looking up every location.

Because I'm now very into what three words. I think it might be better. What were the best, what three words that you found? I looked up, so I found out something. So I looked up Spiritland. Oh, that's where we are now, in case readers and wandering. It's Spice Calm Hunter. That makes...

It's very Spiritland. Spice. Buckingham Palace is fence grows bats. Spats. Fence, gross, bats. Gross? I thought spats would have been good. That would have been on the nose, wouldn't it? On the nose bag, as they say, in Buckingham Palace.

I found out there was a man in Mississippi who's... Where? Mississippi. Mississippi. You have to say if you're on GMTB, you're still, sorry, need to put my false teeth back in. Yeah, I should say Emily's false teeth did actually fall out at that moment. And they are in great shape. Mississippi, who was very upset

because he found out his farmhouse that he complained because the what three words with sleeps with dudes. That was the what three words. Because they just choose his three words right back. Yeah. But also Mississippi,

I don't know what the tolerance levels are like. I think someone did that on purpose. That's funny. Let's get the homophobic. Yeah. I went into a, I suppose, you'd call it a corner shop in Mississippi. And I was trying to buy something like mince, which they hadn't had.

As in mince that you sock, not that you decorate your stator. No. And they hadn't got any of that, but they had nine different types of chewing tobacco. Did they? Yeah. Which says something about the local thing. The local breath smell. But I wouldn't want to be gay in Mississippi.

It might have changed, you know. I don't know. Oh, you know, I wouldn't want it to be gay and smithy when I was growing up, so things do get better. Sleeps with dudes wasn't a thing. Well, we wouldn't have known what dudes was for a start-off. Anyway, I have now become, I think that's all I'm going to do is what three words now. So I've never used it to get anywhere. Is there like an app that you put it into?

He knows. There is an app, yeah. Yeah, there's an app. But people say, say if you're invited to Latitude this year. A girl can dream. They'll send you, yeah, because she's playing it very humble. You're dead famous now. I've heard talk, just say.

Have you? I don't even know what the implication there is. Okay, I just say I've heard talk about being humble. Oh, no, that's doing well. He hears talk. It's a bit like, think of his management company. It's like the Vatican. There's lots of whispering in.

Well, we're with the same management company, so I guess I know where the whispers are coming from. Here's the monsema. I bet you don't hear many whispers. I hear whispers like they want you to do the podcast this week. Distant echoes, you're right here. Frank's like the Jonathan Price character. Yes, I would recommend it. So they would say here's three...

What three words? What three words? And you'd go straight to the gate. And does it show you the way like Google Maps? Do you drive, Max? Oh, God, no. Oh, well then forget it. What is this a job interview?

Forget it. Passenger for life. No, you can still. I have it when you don't drive, Frank. I find it useful when I was going to Sam Rider, for example. And similar to you, I needed to pick up special lady tickets. Oh, yeah. And they just told me where to pick the tickets up.

So it was just convenient. Oh, no, but Mags is not going to walk to fucking latitude. You've heard whispers that I might be getting on the train. I've heard. Oh, never mind. I just think it would be good if it took over. Because I think with things like maps, we're all. by coordinates and numbers

and it's good for these maths types and those lines yeah what are the lines contours what are the maps called ordinance surveys you know they've got those contour lines show how high the land is

oh I can't bear those I never got on board with those now I never have whereas what three words is for the poets sign posts that's what we want I think we like styles we're old-fashioned and I just think it's a sign it's like words triumphing over maths. Yeah, I like that. I like that reading of it.

Of a maths or maps? Maths. Okay. Because maths and maps are the same. It's the same type of people. I nipped into qubits this week. My opticians of choice. Can you tell... Do you go to qubits? I know what it is, but I've never been there. You don't expect, of course. I don't. Do you think they would give me a free pair of glasses? They don't do. They might give you a free pair for being an amygleana. Wow. You might get them. My God. Okay. Anyway, I went in there

I went in for eyedrops for my child and they said oh the new the new eye The new eye? The new eye click You know these, what do you call them? Like a cloth. Glassies cloth.

Oh yes. Like to clean. But you clean your glasses with, yeah. So they said the new ones in, would you like it? I'm going to show the guys here. Oh, it's a... So they do. different ones every, they come at now and again.

That's actually very strong. Oh wow, that's so classy. It's a sort of drawing of the shop. Of the actual shop. And it's branding. They're not stupid. And I thought to myself, you know what, I might be glad of that when I get a bit older. That'll be like the map in Treasure Island. What do you help me to find the fucking place? What do you mean when you get older?

Well, you know, I... You need that now. I'll be wandering, won't I? Let's just accept. I'll be wandering. Yes. I like that they gave it. You must be their best customer. Frangling does so much promotional,

unpaid promotional work for Cubits. Well, they're just because they're the coolest. He likes them. If we went out into Spiritland now, it's a private party today, so it's empty. What is the private party? There's no one there. There's no one there. The private party is not in...

But if we went out there, I bet you'd find seven pairs of cubits. God, I've got to get a pair of these. This is working. Frank's marketing. is working. Can I just say you are very cubits? Don't you think Mags is

very cubits? Oh yeah, you've got cubits all over you. Okay, okay. Is there one in King's Cross? Oh, I'm so cubit. I think there is.

Wow, maybe I'm going to go there. And who was... Who was the guy who did... I want to say Eric Morley, but that's Miss World. No, he judged Miss World in the 60s. He started Miss World, not just judged it.

Who was the guy who did the Angel of the North? England does Anthony Gormley Anthony Gormley I was close with Eric Morley Yeah There's an Anthony Gormley Glasses cleaning cloth

That they gave me Which Cath has framed Yeah Am I going to clean my glasses with it now It's cleaning glass From the inside Wow Yeah

So here's a thing I'd like to ask I think particularly Mags this But would you ever Actually apply to you as well. I've seen you do live work. Would you ever

at the end of a gig say to an audience, right, we're going to have a debrief now. I'm going to ask you what you thought if you've got any thought. Interesting. So I have, I think maybe once or twice. So there was a point with my second show where I couldn't get the ending to work and I couldn't

tell what was going off and I think after one preview I said like, send me any thought or if someone messaged me I said to say like I enjoyed it, I would say, oh, can I just check whether that, this bit came through. Okay. But the only other time I've done that... So the ending in my show is me walking off. Nowadays, they're so structured and themed.

Yeah, it was a whole structure and theme. But the first time I ever did a work in progress show, I did it at the Valtz Festival, and my dad came. And I said to the audience, I think I wrote, I think I made a feedback form online. Gosh, brave. No one, I don't think anyone filled it in, apart from my dad, who I believe, listens to this podcast. Oh, we love you, Max.

And also who now communicates with me by writing into podcasts that I've been on and asking them to forward me the message. Are you fleeing him? I love that. No, it's just he thinks it's cut out of the middlemen. Well, no, it's actually add more middlemen. So he would, for example, write into this show

with a message for you. He would say, hi, Frank and Emily, emailing you because I'm Ania Magliano's dad. Can you tell her she left her purse? In Arrow. Yeah, exactly. It saves me the bother. Many things.

Your manager assistant sometimes contacts me via the show, which I find interesting. Whose management? Yours. He'll say, oh, hi, if you could get a hold of Emily Dean. I'm like, why are you going through the show? Oh, I didn't know that. I told him not to contact you. Yeah, keep the distance.

So, Edward, does it work? Oh, sorry, carry on. Oh, no. Well, yeah, well, my dad sent in his own feedback for my show when he came to it, which is a page, word document of feedback. There was one joke that only he laughed at in the show. No one else in the audience laughed. And in the feedback form, he said,

don't cut the clever stuff just because only I got it. Good advice, though. I say good advice. I've got more clever stuff than you've had hot dinners as anyone who sees my show will testify. You know, you start at the Bill Murray pub. Yeah. And I'm up there.

I'm, you know, I'm like, Stephen Frye, but funny. Yeah. And then by the time I get on tour, I'm more like old man steptoe. Frank, that's got to be a quote on your poster. Like Stephen Frye, but funny. From himself, Frank Skinner.

He might, yeah, Frank Skinner. As if people wouldn't know. I think, yes, I could just put dotted line, feeling who you think said this. Have you asked for it? Frank. Well, I, we're sort of road testing a show, a TV show, idea at the moment. So we did it at a place.

Do you know the playground theatre? It's near Avalon. No, okay, no, I don't know. It's difficult for me because when you're... You should say Avalon is Anya and Frank's management company. Yeah, but when I don't want to be saying to people, if you need me today, I'll be at the playground. No, that's not... Not a man my age, really.

I don't like I'm spending the day there. Peter Philly is a terrible thing, but combined with diligence, it's really unacceptable. Also, you don't want people looking through your diary seeing playground. No, exactly, exactly. Every day, Mark, down. He's doing it in plain sight.

Oh, exactly. Three weeks in a row. Then he asks, what's this word, debrief? Anyway. He always wraps it up at six. I do like that about it. So, I'm not even going to go any further. Stop it.

So I actually said to the audience, right, has anyone got any thought or idea? Why the hell did you do that? Well, because we're trying, like I said, we're trying to, you know, working out. So this, I mean, I don't have a great record. I remember doing a pilot for a TV. And my own partner, as she was then, said to me, came off. But what's she going to say? It hadn't gone that well.

Yeah. She said to me, they did a fantastic job of covering up that spot. Oh, my God. That was all that one positive. I just felt my heart sink, but I told you that actress, friend of my mother's who came up to her once when she was in Sherlock Holmes, and she went, well, I thought your hair looked lovely.

Oh, no. So anyway, we asked a few people, and there was a woman called Susie, who was sitting at the back. I guess she was, I don't know, late 50s maybe. And she said, it's history-themed this show. She said, well, I have to say I was thoroughly bored through a... No.

Yeah. At two, Susie. Yeah, she said, I teach history to Year 7 pupils, and they're bored shitless for the whole thing. Okay. That sounds like a new problem. Yeah, well done. Well done.

Oh, my God. And I said, okay. And she said, sorry, I believe, I believe in speaking my mind. I believe, you know, you asked. I said, no, I did ask if any. That's fair enough. She said, I believe in speaking my mind. I said, okay.

She said, I'm like Kemi Badenock in that respect. I said, you know, I feel a bit better now about the criticism I have to say. So who says I'm like Kemi Badenok. Kemi Badernock doesn't want to be like Kemi Badernock. Anyway. Was this getting laughs from the audience? Well, I was trying to get.

Because I was talking about the fact that the murders that had happened on my... There's two major murders. Oh, yeah, I remember. Yeah. So I told that earlier in the evening and I said to her, listen, we've got a flat going on on that road.

But even so, the act were still out there, comedians. Yeah. And they were all a bit. I don't think they didn't take it that well. Yeah, that's not ideal feedback. It was a bit, yeah, they were a bit hurt and fair enough. So then we're in the dressing room after, well, sort of green room,

and the five of us were sitting around. And Susie appears. Are you joking? Susie just comes in the green room. How did Susie get access? And said, look, I'm sorry if I'm upset, but I believe in speaking my mind. And I said, what, like, Kimmy Badenock?

She said, yes, exactly. And she said, Susie, leave us alone. She says, I've been to shows here before. And like, she said this was nowhere near as good as Ruby Waxes, as she called it, sick one-man show. Oh, Ruby Waxes, one-man show. She said, that was really intense.

I said, well, thanks, Sue. if your opinion. She said, no, I know. I know you're very sensitive performers. But, you know, I think sometimes you just have to, and I thought, oh, God, please go away. And she stayed, I would say

she stayed telling her, reiterating and expanding on what she'd say. I'd say she was backstage six minutes. No. This is why you don't ask for feedback. It's like... Never again.

It's like going on Twitter and saying, What does everyone think of me? You may as well do that. Yeah, I might try that. No, don't. Please don't. Please don't do that, Frank. I, yeah, it was tricksy. That's really scary.

That's a very horrible story. It's stressful. The fact that she made it backstage to keep going. I know. There's no escape. I thought backstage was meant to be the escape. I think she was on what is known as a role. Do you know what?

There is no escape from Susie. No. Well, no, because she hauntled into this. She haunts not only my dreams for the dreams of Tom Rosenthal. I love him. Yeah. Who else was on? Love Rosenthal.

I think I was meant to do. I got offered this, but I couldn't because I was going to see some magic. Okay. Susie told you not to do it. Couldn't you have lied? Couldn't you have said something that was. No, I thought you loved magic. I do love magic.

You know that that's always... But I don't like being rejected for it. Frank has, just FY for next time. He has a very high rejection sensitivity. Oh no, sorry, Frank. I know. Well, just... For obvious reasons. I know, I know. I know. It's okay.

But I wasn't rejection. It was just I was already booked. I'm very post-Novelli at the moment. He is. He feels very regretful. You know what I mean? I'm licking my wounds. I know. And Susie didn't help matters.

Yeah, to be honest. Susie was pre. Pre-Novelli. Do you think Susie will end up standing over your bedside one night? She's just going to crawl into every aspect of your life. I didn't like it. It was no ruby wax. Susie, the bald-headed man from the opera,

and Pierre Novelli will stand above me like an unholy trinity in all my future projects. The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. Exactly. prodding, abusing and abandoning. Oh, my God. Oh, my actual God. Oh, God.

I shouldn't have said that thing about the magic show. Anyway, maybe next time you could come. So look, the next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days, just something else that went by the wayside is out on Wednesday. We're still in 2011. And this time, Emily has found some notes she wrote as a child. Oh, I did, yeah. Okay.

Right, and also on the next podcast, and Mags has seen some acrobat, I think. Mad's seeing Susie to get some notes. But we will be joined by Rob Orton, who I absolutely love. Oh, yes, he's nice, isn't he? He's so lovely. Lovely and funny. Yeah.

And a poet. Yeah, and a poet. Is he always got the lot. Oh, anyway, he's on the next show. Mags, it's always an absolute joy. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And you're back again soon.

See you again soon. I know, I do know that. I know, because I want to be here. Yeah, I'm going to have to buy a fucking rabbit. I've already got one of those. Can you bring it in? Let it stop seeming first. Oh dear

Hey dear It's the Frank Skinner podcast A new winter change is blowing It's the Frank Skinner podcast I'm not totally sure how it's going Thanks for listening to the podcast Make sure to like and follow So you never miss an episode

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