The Frank Skinner Show - Frank’s Back in London

Episode Date: September 4, 2026

Frank and Em are joined in the studio by Katie Norris. Frank’s relieved to be back in London, and Em’s delighted to be reunited with him. Everyone’s loving Katie’s tradesman husband, and there are things to say about hot tubs and saunas. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. It's Frank Off the right. So Frankskinner podcast, don't you know?

Are the stars out tonight? I don't know if it's cloudy or bright. However, this is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Katie Norris is with us. We follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can, oh, there's still a bit of lad left in me. You can email the podcast. cast via Frank of the radio, Avalonukk.com.

On the WhatsApp front. As it boon. Hold on. What's that? That was Frank Zappa, who refused to do the number for WhatsApp. I do like that, though. Oh, yeah, it's a great track. Go on then. Choose one.

Oh, they're down here. It's all right. Me page has slipped here. Okay. Try this, muddle. Oh, 7457. 4-1-7-69. Oh, it's that one.

I'm relieved because I hear, whilst I was away, the whole system went up in smoke and you had problems with that, WhatsApp. Well, I wouldn't have minded that one being underwater. I forgot it had a lingering 69 at the end of it. Katie, I can only apologise.

No, I mean, has I had you listened to these before? This is the first time we've heard these. No, no. I hit a random switch every one. weeks. It's a bit like playing roulette. Right. Yeah. Well, I like that one. The one in Edinburgh, yeah, it sounded like sort of like a military wives choir quite far away.

Oh, I didn't like that. And then there was the distorted techno-e vibe. Yeah, it was, I don't know what went wrong. Yeah. You realise, as you say this, that Sandy, the producer, is feeling this like putting knives in her. She feels somehow responsible. It's such an awkward start to Homer's return. Even though she wasn't there. I'm so glad you're back

and you brought a friend with you Yes I found a friend on your travels I thought it'd be a good link to have the person who did the last Edinburgh podcast on the first London And one of the last crowdwork shows with you as well Yes Well Katie did

I was doing this thing this improvised Show with called crowdwork with two other comedians And Katie did the penultimate one And something The last weekend at Edinburgh I think we'll go down in Edinburgh tradition as some weird, strained end time.

What do you mean? Well, my earrings just fall in a hour. Well, there's an album. The tarot did not. Do you know, Katie, it's the most glamorous thing that's ever happened on this podcast. And I love you for that. I think it happened.

Didn't happen to Jan Leaming once on a news. We don't get gold earrings on this podcast. Anyway. Anyway, tell me what happened. Well, the ticket sales was generally across the board were lower because the Scottish schools had all gone back. So the fringe starts a week later than usual. No, for travel on, they were like, for crowd workers this or generally everyone's sales for doubt. So people went home early because they just stopped selling tickets altogether.

Apparently, 401 shows cancelled in the last week. And is this because of the way they scheduled the calendar of the festival? I don't really understand what the school going back's got to do. We lost our Scottish audience. Okay. Okay. You don't want to lose that. Apart from the ones we had in crowdwork.

Oh yeah, we had some Scottish. Every cloud. So what happened else, please? So we just, we did the last but one show and it was, I'd really loved doing crowd work. It had gone really well. And that one was like, have you ever seen the Marat Sard? I know. When the Marquis de Sard stages.

I can't remember what he stages. Oh, it's the death of Mara. Death of Mara. He stages it in an asylum. It was like that. Was it? We were in the asylum. And the audience were watching us.

It was like, it just, there were nice moments, I think, where there was a connection. But there was a drunk sort of left sandside. A lot of people leaving, walking out, getting told off for talking. Drunks are so difficult to deal with. People move because people next to them were talking and stuff like that. Yeah, it was, it was. Horrible. Yeah.

It was horrible. So I dragged Katie into that, which was like... So I'm back. Can I say in the way of balance, that I went to see Katie's show? Did you? The next night. Same night, actually.

Oh, was it the same night? Yeah. I think I went to see if it was all right. Oh, so you were performing after. I did show after crowd work. Wow. So Katie's show Mother Socubus. Yeah, I've heard about this.

It was honestly. and I'm not, put your fingers in your ears. Oh, you can't, you've got headphones off. She's lost her earrings now. It was absolutely, it sort of, it was exactly what I needed. It reminded me that performance and everything can be. It was, it had everything. Like, it was really, really funny, but it was more than that.

There was like, proper acting and proper singing. It was, oh, look, it's coming to London, isn't it? Yeah, I'm doing so in a couple of weeks. Yeah, please come on. Can I come here? So I'd say it. I'd recommend anyone go. and see Katie Norris at Soho Theatre in September, is he?

It's two weeks, yeah, 14th. And you know what? He doesn't offer praise lightly. When Frank praises you, you know. Well, it was long enough ago, what, four or five days. I could have not mentioned it. Exactly. And it wouldn't have been bad manners.

But as it was, I've been telling everybody about it. Thank you. That's nice. My wife is going to, I'm going to go again. I'll be honest. You're becoming someone we had a stalker. No, yeah, exactly. I do worry about those things. It's nice, though, because I think me and Frank's audience can now combine.

I've been getting lovely messages since being on your pod. Have you? How are you finding his audience like then? I've had one proposal via email. They will do that. And I've had a lot of messages from middle-aged men saying, I do look like Tim Vine. Oh, yeah. No, Jeremy Vine. No, not Jeremy Vine.

No, Tim Vine. Tim Vine, yeah. Which I'm not too happy about, but it's quite funny. Do you know what I would say about Frank's metal audience? They're very forthcoming. They are. I mean, I got had one only the other week saying, do you sell feet picks? So, you know, there's something for everyone out there.

Yeah. I don't know whether I do. Is that there you get that? Are those the things that get the black from under your toenails? I mean, Katie, do I sell feet picks? Well, why don't we both start doing it? Or maybe we should go. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. do it for the, if anyone likes knolled, they'll like my... I've got horrible feet. Yeah. You could do the maybe the medieval special for specialist interest. What I need is a shared... What would you call it a page? Is that what you have on there?

I'd have a shared page. I'd have a shared page. I'm only fans. I saw a pigeon this morning that I got one of those horrible, knotted feet. You know, that's human hair. Is that one of years? They go around and cut them at King's Cross. You can go, the volunteers.

It's all human hair. Oh. It's ever such a shame. I know. And all those men going bald as well. So the human hair goes to the pigeon feet and the fishing twine goes to the swan. Strangier, these things are attracted to. Yeah.

But on the Tim Vine front, fondly enough. You don't look like it. I actually googled it this morning and I was like, yeah, fair enough. I look more like Tim Vine now at the end of the fringe than I did at the start. I always think it's important to find a man that you look like. I was once told I looked like Nigel Clough. Yeah. Do you remember him?

I need his phone because I don't know who that is. He was a footballer and the son of Brian Clough, is that right, Frank? Yeah, he was a footballer. But you put it this way. There's a very, very good looking bloke, can I say. Is it mine? No, not too much. I mean, Nigel Clough's not great.

Once when I had my hair cut short, I got told Al Pacino. I didn't love that either. Yeah. So. I've got, my female one was, that was it, Queen of Denmark? Queen Marguerite the second of Denmark. Yeah. I'll show you that.

I am high. But you do look like that, Frank. But anyway, I had lunch with Matt Ford. Oh, we love him. And Matt Ford told me, and this was a weird thing. Because I had been to see a lot of improv while I was up there. But I don't mean the sort of improv we were doing in a crowd work, which is basically fucking about. I mean, like when people say, yes, give me the name of a, give me this and all that.

There was a thing called Shamilton that was on, which is so obviously about, you know, a musical thing because of the title. But they wrote it as sham, S-H-A-M in one colour and then the Ilton in another. And I honestly thought it was a Milton spoof. I thought it would be like Paradise Last Jokes. A bit niche. Yeah, exactly. It's quite heavy you going, Milton.

I'd love to. I've loved to do that. You must have been a bit disappointed. The crowd pleaser of the fringe, the Milton satire. I mean, Frank, come on. I just saw a leaflet and I thought, oh, I'm going to see that. Milton's spoof. You loved it, though, didn't you?

I loved actual Hamilton was fantastic. Did you? Because you're not a fan of Hamilton, so you liked that they were laughing at. It's nothing to do with that, though. What they did was they would say, they'd ask for names of famous people and then have an audience debate and a vote and then whoever won

they would be the subject of the musical that night so it was Megan Mark and I went and the entire thing was songs and everything with a band and everything it was incredible anyway I went to do that I also saw MC Hammersmith

Love MC Hammersmith I like the name Yeah, he does, he raps, but he improvises rap, which is kind of incredibly all rhymes. But he's very kind of like, he's very Hammersmith, very, hello. Oh, is he? Oh, I like him. Sorry, sorry to, we're very friendly, so he'll watch that to be like, cheers. Hello.

Yeah. But at that night, having seen these two shows, I had what I can only describe as an improv fever dream. Did you? So in my brain, in my head, and one of those things where, you know, when you're ill and you get like all these massive repeated fever dreams, it was like that, but it was improvising stuff. It was me coming up with rhymes and things. Yes. It was horrible night's sleep. And then Matt Ford told me that he toured with Tim Vine and his dreams are all puns, absolutely bad with pawns. I wonder how their wives are and girlfriends. Yeah, exactly.

What are they called comedy wives and girlfriends? Quags. Gags? Oh, is it? Yeah. There was a name for them, wasn't there? There was a name for them, wasn't there? Gag hags, which isn't very nice. That wasn't really, I don't think that was wives and girlfriends. I think that was more...

People who didn't... So a groupy thing. Let's say people who didn't stay around us long. No, exactly. They were short-term arrangement. Yeah. It's funny because my boyfriend came to see me in Edinburgh this year, and people just assume he's the comedian and I'm the gag.

I fell into them. I fell into them. And he said, it'd make you a patio. He did. He did. What does he do? He's a tradesman. Oh, I love a trainer.

He's a proper practical bloke. He's a proper bloke. I know, I know. It's amazing. He looked like a comedian though. Did he? He didn't look. He wasn't like, you know.

A white guy in his 40s. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, is what Frank's saying. He wasn't in a suit, though, come to think of it. Yeah. Yes, I am. Sorry, that's his phone. He watched crowd work.

He liked it. He said he did well. He liked that night. Yeah. Well, I mean, he's the perfect boyfriend because he doesn't want to be a comedian. That's what you want. Yeah. There's no notes afterwards. To be fair, I don't want to be a tradesman. So it's kind of perfect balance.

Well, that's handy because you'd be terrible. I mean, I sometimes look longingly at their entrances on big houses. Frank, please. I cannot think of a job, a profession you'd be less suited to than tradesperson. My dad was very practically. But you haven't inherited that. No, I haven't inherited. I've fought against it.

You don't know anything about drills or anything. Did you put showers up or anything? He doesn't know drills. I was in a fire drill at a hotel once. No, actually, I remember not being in a fire drill at a hotel, but getting a letter from a hotel saying, thank you for the way you helped out in the fire drill. And for keeping the people happy by doing jokes and all that while we all stood outside.

And I thought, what has happened here? I couldn't believe you. And then I found it was Lisa Tarbuk doing a scam letter. She'd taken some headed note paper from a hotel. It's all typed off and everything. That's so weird. I love her. She's a beautiful singer, Lisa Tarbuck.

Is she really? Was she not. I'm singing the same person, and she was in a series where she played a singer. Oh, good. No, I think you're right. I think you might be right. Anyway, we do like her. We're big fans of hers.

Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. So I got back anyway from Edinburgh And I tell what's been handy is my family are away

So I got back to an empty house I did notice that I didn't want to say anything That the cathode book to go away just as he did But it was a good thing It was like having a decompression chamber Between Edinburgh and real life So being on my own Because I got back

I've been away a month I got back And the first thing I realised is the mixer tap in the kitchen. I couldn't remember which why it was hot and which why it was cold. That really made me feel like I'd been away a long time. Just FY, that's why he wouldn't make a good tradesman.

One of the many reasons. No, but it's not one of the obvious. It's not one of the obvious blue, you know, blue and red. You don't get blue and red these days. What do you get, though? I get C and H. I don't think I've got anything. Have you not?

No. Oh, you should get your fellow to sort you out. out with them. Yeah, there's a list, though. That's on the bottom. Oh, yeah. So go on, you couldn't tell the difference. Did you hurt yourself in the process?

Did you burn yourself? No, I probably, I drank quite a lot of softener, but I don't think that will be. What, for your stools? Not for me stools. I'm sorry, for me water. Your stools? I thought you meant because you were constipating, because I was also. Oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I drank a lot softer. No, no, that wasn't an issue. Oh, right. No, I just, I couldn't. That made me feel estranged from my home, not being able to remember where the tap went. I didn't like that.

I understand. So, well, where was your return, Katie? Because you were up there for a month as well. I always drive and I... Do you? Yeah, but I always stop over in McEltsfield. I think people who do that are extraordinary. Driving to Scotland.

Don't you, Frank? I did it once. Is it punishing? Yes. Well, I did it in a 1967 Vauxhall Viva, which never really recovered from the round journey. Really? And the exhaust dragged on the way, on the one,

the last five or six miles. I could be like, Oh, no. Which is a danger, because apparently sparks fly up and the car can explode. Yeah, that's very dangerous. But, you know, I've done Edinburgh for a month,

so I didn't care if it did. No, no. So it takes a long time, and this is from London. Yeah, we drive to Macosfield, and then I stay over with a friend. and then I do the rest of the journey. It's actually only, what, four and a half hours sleep? Oh, it's not too bad.

Four and a half hours the next morning. Okay, but not in one go. No. And then, I have done it in one day before. I know. But I always stop at T-Bay services. Of course. Is this the one you and Claire Boulden-Raw is going on about?

Well, I don't know if me and Claire Boulding or else. You are. It is the best services in the country. Is it? It's in the North Lakes. It's lovely. There's a farmer's market. It does services.

Artis. Sausage rolls. Yeah. Whether you can still go into the shop and get like a coffee table book about Princess Diana, I don't know. No, no. Is there livestock there? Yes. I've heard there was sort of goats or something.

Yeah, but it's all edible. Oh, my God. There's livestock, but it's been sliced. I just thought there were a farmyard animals wandering around. There's a duck pond, there's geese, and then there's... Geese. You could have a roast dinner. We had a lovely time, at tea bay.

And then we went to a little lodge with a hot tub. I was in there, not last night the night before. Do you like a hot tub then? I like the idea of a hot tub. Then after an hour, I thought it was going to pass out. That's the problem. I don't think you're supposed to do, an hour. Yeah, I did more than that, though.

But I had a big iced water, and Prosecco as well. Oh, that's the way you got in trouble. That's dehydrating. Well, yeah. I slept like a baby. Also the bobble. See, that's when you start floating in the hot tub. Do you like a hot tub, Frank?

I'm a bit like Katie. I like the idea of it. I once stayed at Zoe Ball and Norman Cook's House, which was literally on the beach at some Brighton. And they had a hot tub, which just looked across the sea. And me and Kath went in there at literally about 6am. And there was like a mist on the sea and stuff. And that was fantastic.

Beautiful. Okay. You're selling them more to me. I think, yeah, because I went to another one in Devon with the tradesman. I love that we call him. Can we always, never tell me his name. Never tell me his name. It's like the chat for a little offer, isn't it?

He represents the real world. The tradesman. Oh, he's lovely. And it was in the middle of a field and the stars were all out and it was beautiful. That was lovely. So I think, yeah, it can be nice. Yeah. I had a flat once and I was going to get one on the balcony.

And they said the balcony wouldn't take it. And then they tell me how much a full-on hot tub full of water weighs. Is it a lot? It's unbelievable. Well, David Bediel is very into soreners, isn't he? Above board ones. They don't weigh anything though, do they? No, but I think he's got a special, where does he go?

He travels a lot, doesn't he? I think he might have a home one, but I don't he? Yes, he does. I might have made that off. He does have a home one because I think he worked possibly with the Icelandic tourist board. I hate them. Oh, Frank, why do you hate them? I know.

I feel like that. Yes, that is the point. They're meant to be hot, Frank. Why sit somewhere where it's really, really hot? Delivertly. Why go on holiday? Exactly. I think both of those are very reasonable questions.

Why do people go on? If I hated my job, I'd like going on holiday. But my job is a fucking... in holiday. Okay. What I should do is work in an orphanage in Kenya in my, you know, two weeks in the summer. It was nice knowing it. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not going to do that, but, you know. He doesn't like sun loungers or sunbathing. Or stillness. No. He doesn't mind stillness. But if I go away, I'll just want to look at, I remember me and Kath went to Paris for a week. And we had to take it in turns to do the shenny. for the day.

And it got quite competitive at how many things we could get in. And on the very last day, I got to Napoleon's tomb and they were just shut in the doors. It didn't quite. Didn't quite. It's such a love,

nothing screams romance like Napoleon's tune. No. Well, we were in Bergen. Why did you take your lovely girlfriend to a bloody grave? Well, it's not a grave. I think he's, I don't know what it is. I didn't get in.

The man was very unhelpful. Oh, I couldn't, and being Frank Skinner didn't help you. Not in France. When we were in Bergen, we went, at first day away, we went to the Leprosy Museum. What was that like? It was interesting. Yeah. You went to the Lepracy Museum and a tomb.

Yeah, but that compared to lying on a beach, which I think is just, why would you do that? I mean, where do you stand on this? Because I'm inclined to agree with you, but only. as I've got older. I think when I was younger, I was a bit more... I never liked the beach. I think I was a bit more brainless

and hedonistic and I liked it and I was vain and wanted to get a tan. Yeah. Now I... You can get a tan anywhere. Well quite. I get a tan in London now, can't you? I had a lovely tan this year.

Did you? Just from lying around. Just in the heat wave. So now I think I've changed my view on that I'm more with you and that I want my holiday to sort of enlighten me in some way. Do you know what to mean?

Why do you stand on this? Well, I think a bit of both. I'm going to Mexico. I haven't been on holiday for years, and I'm going to Mexico. Well done, you. I know. And for two weeks, we're an all-inclusive with my friend Chenade in February March. What about the tradesmen?

We are saving up for a separate trip. Lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think a mix of both. He's going to build a raft. Oh, I'd love that. Not to Mexico. You wouldn't.

I know. He made me soup last night. Felt it to me in bed. Made it from scratch. Yeah. and put babe pig in the city on. And I was under the duvet. He sounds smashing.

See, that's not very tradesmen, though. Is it making soup from scratch? Well, they can do it all crank. They had nuts and bolts in it. Oh, that's all right. What about your knot allergy? That's his signature garnish. The knot and bolt.

Oh, no. I don't like that. My publicity person goes on holiday. Oh, get you here. And she not only spends the whole thing on the beach, but she takes, the photographs she takes are all from her recliner. I mean, what's going on? So she does all your admin from the recliner?

No, I'm on about the holiday photos. Oh, there's the sea and there's the beach and that's it. Good night. And she loves it. My PA goes on holiday. When she comes back, I always said, do you have a nice time? And she says, oh, it's fantastic. And I say, but what do you do?

And they say, yeah, I read. Why can't it at home? I can't read at home. What? Because my mind is too, I can work from home, so it's hard to find a place to be able to read a book. Poor thing. I know.

I know. It's in Mexico to read. I mean, what the fuck? It's an expensive holiday just to read. I mean, you know, there's libraries and stuff. I get quite triggered walking into libraries. It reminds me of school. Although you know what

I don't regret that beach holiday I had in Mexico Frank because without that you would never have had my incident when I heard those American tourists on the bus do you remember that and she had a very let's call him a very well-built husband

and when we were getting on the coat she explained to the guide discreetly excuse me we have an ambré grande coming aboard and that was her discreet way of saying my husband is morbidly obese he's an ambre grande

So Frank and I now say Andre Grande. What I like about that is I know for certain that that happened. I just know Emily would never make that up in a million years. But whenever I hear a politician say, I was talking to a cab driver the other day and I thought, lie coming. I always think here comes the lie. Do you think they do lie?

Oh, Def, I'd never believe that was fine. I mean, I heard two overheards while I was on the train going to Edinburgh. Right. And I thought, I like these. But people just think, oh, no, you've made that off. But I would never make those. No, you wouldn't. It's politicians that's ruined that by pretending that people talk to them and they talk back.

I think also certain people on social media, have you come across this, where they'll say, my child came into my room today and said, Mommy, why is there so much inequality in the world? What can we do, Mommy, to make it better? You know, where they're using the children to push a political agenda. I never believe those. No, and if you're a kid did that, you go off. Get out.

Yeah. Just to go back to asking where babies come from. Yeah. Yeah, that's all right. But I don't want politics from a child. I was on the train and there was a Scottish couple sitting, I had one of those dream seats where you just got one single seat on your own. I love that so much.

Yeah, that's lovely. Can you actually order those? Or do you, is it all right? When you say order, it's not a margarita. No, but if you book, I wouldn't know what left. to go off. Nombad, you know what I'm mean? You can book both seats, but then if the train's full and you just look like an asshole. No, I don't want to book back.

I'm on about just a single seat. You know, those single ones that just face ahead on their own? I think it's a first class only thing. Oh, well, I go first class. Yeah, I do. Fuck off. I'm fucking worth for it. Don't give me that look. A moment, there was like a three seconds when he thought, oh, okay, yeah, I'm going to fess off. I do go first class.

Yeah, I did go first class. Edinburgh. I also do. Because it's a long one. It's a long one. It's a long one. I drove. Well, that's the ultimate first class. Anyway, there was an American couple and a Scottish couple sitting in the four seats next to me

and they got chatting. They were both, I suppose, about 60. And this guy said, oh, we live on Sky on the Isle of Sky. and the American guy said, that sounds great. Tell me, are there any novelists living on Sky?

What? Where the fuck did that come from? And the guy said, oh, I don't know of any. There's a sort of street before. He's desperately trying to find somebody in the art. And he ended up describing what sounded like a sort of a guy. It's like a clown. that you could hire for kids' parties.

Not a novelist. Now we're near a fucking novelist. There's a phone box with books in there. He got so blessed. I did see a book once. But then you stop at Newcastle on the way back, on the way two Edinburgh this was. We stopped at Newcastle and the American guy said,

say, how old is Newcastle? I thought, who's got that? Oh, well, you know, I've said this, I do tour guiding in London. All my guests are American. They've never got my name right. Casey, what's a fly tipper? It says £5,000 in prison. Oh, they always ask me, like, my opinion of Meg and Markle, that's the number one.

Why is everyone standing in line outside the pops? Because we're all vaping and smoking. I also love that you could call Casey. Casey, do you take Venmo? And they try and tip me in dollars. as well, which I do take. But they wouldn't ask you. How old is Newcastle?

I know. I mean, who's going to know? I think the word new had thrown them. Yeah. I mean, out of interest, what would you guess? And also, what are we defining? When was Newcastle's inception? Well, there'll be a small, probably Anglo-Saxon village. It might be a sort of earlier than that, bronzer.

It's not like Milton Keynes, which opened. I would have lied, I think. Would you? What would you say? I'd say it's a new build. Yeah, 1,453 years old. See, that's pretty old.

Wow. How did the man deal with how old is new? Any novelists living in Newcastle? Oh, for fuck sake. Of course, if he said any novelist living in Hampstead, that might take some time. Oh, God, I don't have time to miss all those. Maybe we should deal with the outside world. Shall we?

Okay. If we've heard from them. No, we have heard from them. I was just can officially confirm that Newcastle upon Tyne is around 1,900 years old. Oh, we're that far out. The origins of the settlement date back to the Roman fort on Hadrian's Wall. Well, that makes sense. Are there any novelist in Ireland's guy?

I don't have time to Google that. Novelists. We have heard from the outside world. Can I just tell you one other overheard that I have? This was in Edinburgh. I love and overheard. This is two women, who were both about,

I suppose, in their 50s. And I didn't hear what the first one said. But the second one said, oh, I can't really. I've committed to lingerie. Oh, I love that. Oh, I wish I knew what that. The first bit was.

What was the first part of that? I mean, why is she committed to lingerie? Unless lingerie is... Her daughter. Or a man. Her gosh daughter. Maybe it was a drag queen name. There could have been a suggestion of,

what about Brittany Ferries? No, I'd committed to lingerie. That's what that could have been. Maybe she's a race horse. And that's the name of the horse. I thought that she'd maybe got a new boyfriend and had committed to lingerie. Instead of a holiday.

I will wear a long. Well, not necessarily instead of a holiday. I get one of the other ones. That wasn't my first thought. That's a choice, isn't it? You can have a holiday or sexy undies. Or take that engine provocator. I hate sexy undies.

I find it all a bit grim. Do you? No, no, no, I've never worn sex candy. I'll tell you what put me off is when I heard Jim Davidson once in the news of the world saying I like what I like is a woman in sussies. And I didn't like that. What's the sussie? It was a suspenders. He called them sussies.

Do you know that word? Frank? Susseys or sussies. I hadn't heard that, no. I thought you met women from Sussex. No. No. Yeah, but he said some things just for effect, I think.

Oh, do you think so? Okay. When he's, I was with him at the Colom Dorre in St. Paul DeVance. I was on holiday. We were on separate holiday. And he was with a glamour model girlfriend, who I have to say was lovely. And she said to him, he'd be married, I think, three times. She said, I don't know why you always marry him, Jim. This was old for dinner. And he said, you know, it's a nice day.

All the women have a bath. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. The men don't, apparently. Nice for the ladies. We have, this is a bit of a retro thing, but we have an idiotic eureka moment. We used to do this, Kate,

is that when people realize things that everyone else realized years ago and it suddenly strikes them. Okay. So 6-8-4 has said, idiotic eureka moment, Appletiser is a pun on appetizer. Yes, I believe it is.

Extraordinary. Yeah. There you go. That's news to me as well. Is it? I just don't think about these things. I just think, oh, it's an appetizer. But you're a word.

Smith by trade. I'm a songstress. But I've heard people in stores saying, do you have any Apple teaser or Apple Tees? Apple Teaser, I like that. So that means they didn't know the pun. They didn't know the origins, did they? I think they probably use it as a four-player pair of teeth.

Because you know the teaser is the thing that when they breed horses, they send a horse in to get everything ready. And then the important horse comes in and... and empties. Don't use that. It's disgusting empties. It's a bit sussies, Katie, isn't it? No, they're stirrups.

They look like sussies from a distance. Right. But when you use language like empties, I know you were trying to be delicate, right? No, I was trying to buy into the sort of technical talk that I imagine the horse world would use. Like Michael Owen. He likes a horse.

Does it? A lot of footballers like horses. Because they put a lot of money on them. Oh, yeah. Do they own them as well, race or something? Yeah, he owns a stables. Does he? Wow.

Look at that. What does it? If I ever get super rich, the first thing I think I'll do is definitely not get a sauna or a hot tub, but I want to buy a van, like a camper van. Oh, yeah. Would you buy an RV, like, in those American films? You know, the sort of cream-colored ones? Would you buy on the notes?

You know those stainless steel, bright silver ones? I like those. They're great. Something like that, maybe. That would make me happy. I'll tell you what else will make you happy. I'd say I'd make happy. I'd always imagine that I'd park it somewhere to sleep

and then local youths would overturn it and set it on fire. Why do you have to ruin nice things? You know, I have an awareness of modern Britain. This is the trouble with touring. That's what happens when you park on the Royal Mile. Yeah. This is from Dave, now ex-posting, in, do you pronounce it is in Wales,

usk, usk, USK? One of those. Okay. Hi there. A little random and retro this observation, but I couldn't let it go without telling you. A pub near me called the Star has converted the back of the pub into a takeaway

and its name is possibly the best I've ever seen. It's called the Star Chip Enterprise. Fabulous or what? What do you think, guys? I think that's excellent. Yeah, well done. Well done. Yeah.

Thank you, Dave and Alex Posty. Well done. Well, that was, yes. Ask. Usk. Yeah. See, if you don't ask, you don't get. Oh, that's absolutely lovely, Frank.

Okay, I think we're going to top that kind of. Well, we've got more, but, you know, let's save it for these people. Let's save it for the next podcast. We've had Apple Tizer and the Starship Enterprise. Exactly. We're right up there. It's very lovely to have you back. I must say.

That's a nice thing to say. And you know what? I'm so glad you brought this nice friend. You'd be quite a nice friend. for me. What do you think? Yeah, exactly. Okay. I'd I don't know if you'd go out with an

hang around with someone who was dating a tradesman. It's not very you. Oh, shut up. I hang out with you. He's got three brothers. Well, talk. Oh, I bet they all sing tight harmonies with Katie. God.

Is this still on? Yeah. You wouldn't believe it, would you? But it is. Katie with the four brothers They're all tradesmen I'd be like Snow White and the four dwarfs Seven brides for seven brides for seven brothers

But the clinking of hammers Yeah I'd love that Don't That's my next Edinburgh show The clinking of a mum Oh wow I might's aisle at fix Yeah

Yeah It's a frank It's a Frank Skinner podcast A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode.

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