The Frank Skinner Show - Frank's Got Tunes

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Frank, Em and Ruth are back! Frank’s got tunes on the brain, Emily’s obsessed with a monkey who loves Robin Williams, and Ruth’s been back to the Black Country to get her keys cut. If you want to message the show and send us your ‘obscure film quotes’, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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the line between right and wrong begins to blur. Don't miss the three-episode premiere of the Hulu original series Furious on July 27th, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know. That was based on an old tradition, that opening in Birmingham when I was growing up. There used to be blokes who, they did tunes that didn't exist.

Really? Yeah. So be blokes who just were constantly. Da, da, da, da. They might have come up with all we, for all we know, they might have come up with some really brilliant tunes that could have been developed into something, you know, memorable. Why didn't they sing known material?

I don't know, I don't know if it was a copyright issue. They were very, very anxious about copyright in Birmingham in the Westmeath. They were rigorous, weren't they? Yeah, exactly. They were very, very tight on it. So they were just to play careful. They used their own library music Did you have any family members who do that?

No, I had a tour manager he used to do it. What did he do then? That was it. Be in the car. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Would you say, what are you singing? I did say to him, why are you doing that?

Is that a tune? He couldn't know. And then I wrote a book about that tour. Oh, yes. And I wrote about it in the book. it drove me fucking insane. And what, did he contact you? He did.

And I said, you need, it's like antibiotics this book. You need to read the whole thing before you make the judgment on it. Because I grow to steadily love him as the tour goes on. So did he initially say I was a bit upset that you wrote this? Yeah, he did. Oh, so did he read the book. I sent him the book. But I did write in it.

I sent him the book? Yeah, I thought it was best to get it out there. Did he ever get back in touch and say, do you know what? I've now read this. Yes, he did. Oh, that's good. And he said it was quite nice. Oh.

And he used to say Sonny a lot as well. So he'd say right off to Sonny Sheffield. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I used to work at a... I used to work at a... It was like a council house. I used to live in a council house.

That's any good to you. What do you call it? Like a place that looks after council hoses. I can't remember what it's called. And the... Housing... What is it, Frank? Hous.

Yeah, okay. He used to work there in West Brom. And the head office was in Speak. And every month we'd get like a round-up and an email about what's been going on at the company. And it would always open with greetings from sunny speak. It's obviously a thing. Oh. It used to make me cringe.

And it was never sunny there. He also used to call Stratford-upon-Avon, Stratford-upon-Avon. Oh, nice. He never missed the trick. Would you pick him up on those things, Frank, when he said, so let's say it's happened the first time, then you get to Town 5, and he said off to Sunny Solar Hall or whatever.

At that point, are you picking him up on that, be honest? Well, I mean, on that particular tour, I don't think I had a support act. So it was just me and him in a car for hours and miles, you know, in the early hours of the morning. So you have to try and keep it a little bit. But I think I did bring up da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

The most curfier enthusiasm plot line I've ever heard in my line. There's so many tunes available, that's what I've got about. That's millions of written shit. And it's fine. No one's going to pull you up on it. You could have, you know, Beethoven, but instead you've gone for da-da-da-da.

There's a creativity to it. There is. I do think if you did it long enough, somewhat would. You know, it's like the thing about monkeys, if you left them in a room with typewriters, that eventually type complete works of Shakespeare. It does become a bell. I can't be right, can it?

I think the monkeys would type Shakespeare. That's the idea. I do believe that. Do you? Yeah, because I watch a lot of Simeon documentaries. Okay. I'm quite obsessed. and I really think it's terrifying.

How many words a minute do they do generally? Bear in mind they can use their feet as well. They haven't got onto typing yet. Okay. But some of the... Because their bombs look like robbers, don't they look like they could erase with their bombs. I mean, I wouldn't say typing is something I'd associate with them. No.

But what I do find fascinating is how sophisticated their emotions. I mean, normally anger is what I would say. They're very vengeful. the Simeon community. Yeah, I would say like five acts of blank verse is quite a step on from swinging on a tie. You know what I mean?

Okay, they're on a tie. They haven't even set that up themselves. Someone's had to do that for them. As far as I know, I've never seen them erecting a tire rope thing at the monkey house. No, but you do see with the guerrillas. Remember Coco?

She loved Robin Williams. She cried when he died. Robin Williams. Oh, okay. Have you never seen the monkey footage? She cried when Robin Williams. She got to know him very well. He became friends with her. I watched that once a week that clip. And the trainer says Robin is no longer here and shows him the video.

Why tell her? Say he's filming. She wouldn't, fuck, I can remember. I can see why she'd get on with Robin Williams. He was a hairy man, wasn't it? Oh, he got on so well. I'm going to send you this clip. You're going to cry.

he got on so well with this monkey. And then I think you're right, Frank. I've never thought about that. Why did the trainer tell her? Because some people are like that. They're going to start. That anecdote was burning a hole in the trainer's pop. She held up the video and said,

Robin dies. Robin is dead. She's got the video. What do you mean she held up the video? With a photograph of Robin on the cover of it. It was, do you mind you, whatever the film he was in. She did it for confidence. And then she does crying emotions, crying signs with her eyes.

But you're right, that's telling. Coco, this is sad. And she did like a sleeping, Robin's dead. It was very sad. I wouldn't have got a Jamangy. I don't know about you. I feel like Jamangy, wild animals have seen us quite menacing. Do you know, I've never seen Jamangy

because I was too old when it came out and I had no children to take. And going to watch that as a 30-whatever-year-old woman is downright sad. No, but it's on the telly. Oh, is it? No. Oh, yeah, that's true. We wouldn't tell any. Oh, thank you, Frank.

Appreciate it. Got a brilliant theme tune. Has it? What is it? What is it? What's it about, Jamelry, animals? It goes, da, da, da, do. What if it did?

But my old tour manager. Can you imagine if you saw a Stephen Spielberg film and suddenly you heard the John Williams music start going, da, da, da, da, do. No, we're off to Sonny Jimenshi. Like the Star Wars. I'll tell what is. The Robin Williams film is good,

but the new ones, the Karen Gillen, Jack Black, Jamangis are fucking brilliant. Is she the one from Doctor Who? Yeah, they're really funny. Okay. Properly funny.

Okay, maybe I'll watch those. I'd recommend those. Anyway, my point is, having seen Coco, and I'm not exaggerating with that, Frank. People often exaggerate it all once a week. I genuinely do. I find it very.

soothing and calming watching Coco. I watch it very regularly. I would say the level of sophistication there is extraordinary. I don't know about Shakespeare. I don't know about Shakespeare plays. Possibly a Geoffrey Archer novel. No. Okay?

No. Anyway, yeah. I mean, I find that very hard. How did you even know Robin Williams? Because Robin Williams had come to visit Coco many times. Why? They'd formed a friendship because he was a celebrity. everyone was obsessed by Coco, except for you, it seems.

I've never heard of... You don't know Coco, the gorilla. I remember Washo, the chimpanzee. Washo? Washo? What's Wosho? Washa? Is that a Birmingham version? Washo?

Washao was a chimpanzee who was taught sign language. Washo? When was this? Washa. I interviewed... Wosho. I don't know if you'd call them their owners. I interviewed her assistants.

The assistants? My chat show, yeah. The gorilla had an assistant. She was a chimpanzee. Okay. Washo. I don't know about Washo. Washo was, I remember Washo's, you're talking about Robin Williams.

Washo's baby died and she was sitting really glom at the corner of the cage. And when you said, what's wrong, Washo? She did a, you know, when you swing your arms, like footballers do this, just had a new baby, a cradley. She did that and then did that mark of a tear running down her eye. That was properly. Oh, don't. Well, that's what Coco did. I know, but with gorillas, it's not the same, is he?

Why do you say that? They're more brutal, I think. No, not Coco. I'm going to make you watch some of this Coco. Honestly, some of the people she interacted with is extraordinary. I mean, she did like celebrities. I won't like. She was a little bit, you know, shallow in that respect.

I wonder what she picked up from Robin Williams. Every time she made a mistake, she went, whoa, doppy me! Anyway, what else? Oh dear. What's Ruth being up to? Yeah, Ruth. I went back to the black country to do... It's a bit of a retro experience

because I went to get some keys cut. Oh, I thought it's because you went to the black country. Oh, yeah, exactly. Talking about outdated views. Oh, I love getting keys cut. Oh, yeah. Well, I got uncut. Did you get a sports trophy while you're in there? Oh, yeah.

No, because my mum insisted that I take them to be in Q and you put them in a little machine. Have you done it where you pop it in the machine? Oh, you did it yourself? Yeah, have you ever done it? Oh, I need a man with an apron to do that for me. I love an apron man. Yeah, well, I ended up...

So I put these two keys in, and it said, buy two keys, you get the third one free. I put the third one in to the back door key, and it said, oh, we can't cut this. And I was on, okay. So I took the keys away and took it to a man with an apron. Was it a banam? A banam?

They won't cut abanum. Oh, I think it might have been a banon. I think abanum is high security, and you can't just cut them withy-nilly. It wasn't just a child. It definitely wasn't high security, this key. And I took it to the man with the apron. And I said, can you cut this key for me?

And he looked at him and he was like, oh, no, no, no, I can't cut this one. And I was like, oh, why? And he went, it's just a very old key. Really? Yeah, it was just very old. So he couldn't cut it. Even he couldn't cut it as an individual. No, it's just very old kid.

So what means you can't get in? What about Dracula's castle? That's old. Was it one of those massive keys like that, like the Pau pass on his press? I'd say it's one of them where it's like a long, like a backdollah. door key like a long one. So yeah, he couldn't do that. But anyway, that's not the point.

Is it almost like what I call a nursery rhyme key? Yes. Do you know what I mean? A big comedy key? Yeah, but that's terrible to know that you could be using a key at home which is no longer reproducible. Hang on to it for dear life, I say.

It might be worth something. Oh, my wife always says it might be worth thousands. About anything. Yeah. Anything old. It never is. Four magazines in a drawer, that'll be worth a quarter. Do you know I've dog out all the stamps.

My parents' friends always bought us stamps. I don't know if you had that. They used to buy a sort of, the first edition of Beatrix Potter or things like that. And you think, oh, wow, these will be worth a fortune, they'd tell you. They're worth nothing. I remember David Bedeal's mom bought him a sheet of Marilyn Monroe stamps when it was about 45. I never worked that out. I saw some, it was like limited edition Coronation Street ones.

Ken and Deidre. No, we always got bought. in the willows Beatrix Potter you get the point Boz's got the Iron Maiden first day covers

Oh well that's cool Yeah that's good So what happened So can you get into this property now Well I got the front door keys cut But just got to keep The back door key now That's it

I couldn't live like that Unless I go to another Key cutting place And see But I went there But more importantly I'm bearing gifts Because I went to Teddy Grey's

which is the sweet shop. Oh. And I've got, I have in my hand. Have you got herbal lozenges? I've got herbal lozenges. Right. Well, I've got, hold on one second. In an Oliver bonus bag.

So everyone thinks I'm middle class. I used to work with his brother, Brucey. Oh, Frank. So I've got herbal lodgings is extra strong. Oh, I didn't know. There wasn't extra strong. You know what's great about these? They've got Dudley Castle on them.

Exactly. Oh, that's so adorable. And I've got some regular. herbal lozenges. But I said to Angie who... These are deluxe herbal lozenges.

I said, what do you recommend? I'm going to get some lozenges. What else do you recommend? She said, have you tried herbal candy? So I've got herbal candy for you as well. Oh, fantastic. They're like the tachies, the sweet tachies. That's so nice. Did I get anything?

For the ladies, because I think lozenges are disgusting. Did you say, I've got another friend who's very sheltered. and spent most of my life in North London. The word lozenges just virtually disappeared in the south-east. When's the last time you went into a shop and said, you got any lozenges? I'm looking for her. She won't like a herbal lozenges.

So I've got these ones, she said, I said, what can I get for the ladies? And she gave me jelly babies and strawberries and cream. Strawberries and cream is lovely. So there we go. Jelly babies, of course, classic Doctor Who, sweet. Are they? All the doctors, well, since Tom Baker,

of character of character. That's incredibly kind of you. And look, isn't this adorable? The bags they do up there? That's lovely. I took loads of them. What's that? A castle? That's Dudley Castle. You remember we talked about Dudley Zoo?

Yeah, well, that's right next to the castle. I might go to Dudley. I think I'll like it. And it says, for goodness sake. Teddy Grace. And makers of the world famous. I think that was where Paul... Paul Hollywood, McKenna,

Ince, Young. Paul Young. used to leave his wimple. Listen to the last podcast if you want to understand. How terrible that I forgot Paul Young so soon after I mentioned him in the last one. That's right. But while I was in there, he's not around. It was the word young.

So we're deeply ironic about forgetting that, isn't there? Oh, did you hear talking of Birmingham? Did you hear Joe Lysett talking this week about Birmingham? He said he still lives there and he prefers it. Yeah, he's a great champion of. Well, did you hear one of the reasons he gives? I don't know how well this is going to go down. Oh, I did see this, Sarahia.

I think you maybe need to say it. I'm not sure I can. He says... Do you see what I mean, Ruth? Yes, I do. You and Frank can say this. He's not welcome by the sound of bins being collected. No, he said...

What he likes about Birmingham is, when he gets off... When he's in Birmingham, everyone's very unattractive. When he goes to London and he gets off the train, Joe suddenly feels like, oh, there's a lot of hotties here in London. So he goes in London, he's like a what, like a five or something. He said he feels ugly in London. But when he comes to Birmingham and he feels like an eight.

Yes. What do you think of that? I'm not sure about that. I don't know. I remember I actually don't think it's true either. We were, no, I don't. We were loads of ugly people in London. Come with me now. Come on the page of you. I'll take you onto the street. I bet you I'll bet you I can find 12

in the first minute. I'll show you something. That'll make a change your mother. No, I don't agree with that. I was once, we were filming for fantasy football, which is a TV show I did, and before the old king died. And we, I remember the producer,

we flew from Milan to Munich. And the producer said, this is brilliant. When we're in Milan airport, we were the least well-dressed. And now we've become in Munich. Munich, the height of fashion. So it can happen. I remember looking at the Everton fan site.

Oh, yes. We were about to play Everton. And the thing said, what you need to know about West Brom fans, the Everton thing. And he said, all West Brom fans look about 52, even the children. I love a toddler who looks 52. It's my favourite. I think there's a grain of truth today, isn't it? But that's lovely.

Thank you for the sweets. Oh, that's okay. For some reason, the lozenges always had an air dale. A black and white photograph of an airdale. Oh, the dog? Yeah, the dog. Yeah, it's still, it's on the back of the, is in the shop. Yeah.

And it's on their website. Like Teddy Gray's got a website. What? Yes. But while I was in there, I meant to say, they were talking to me about what I was buying the sweets for. So obviously I mentioned Frank. Oh, yeah.

This guy called Ian. Did he go wild, Ian? Oh, yeah. He goes, oh, he goes, my favourite, this is your legacy, Frank. He goes, my favourite, he goes, Frank's going out. He says, do you remember that? He goes, might be before your time, actually. Do you remember when he was dancing in his pants?

Yeah, they love that. He goes, oh, God. He goes, oh God, I love that. Watch that so much. Oh, it's brilliant. Watch that so much. Yeah, I can understand. I can watch it once.

He goes, but watched it so much. No, it was. I remember saying to the producer. So what happens is we played the Venga boys. We played the Venga boys. And then I dance in like my white pants. Was it your idea? Yeah, because I literally happened.

I got out of the bath. I put my pants on. And the Vengabyes were on the radio. And I said, started dancing. I looked in the mirror and burst out laughing at myself. Is that why you did it? I didn't know that. So I said to him, so it's me in my pants dancing to this music. He said, right, okay, and he was writing it down. And then he looked up at me for the rest of it. I said, no, that's it. Was it on your chat show or was it on fantasy

football? That was on my chat show. Yeah. So, because Dave would have done it as well. He would have had to have done it as well. Would have been both of you, but it's just you. I looked on, I watched it again, re-watched it. Just to refer. fresh my memory before today. And I went through some of the comments and people were saying how great it was, they've watched it a hundred times. And someone said,

you showed it to Germain Greer. I did. And she was confused. You showed that to Germain Greer? Are you actually kidding me? I was ready for her response because I then had a picture of me done up as Shakespeare.

We like Shakespearean Nicobockers on. Hang on. You showed it to Jermaine Greer On the chat show What did she say? She just said, what are you doing, Frank? Exactly, I don't understand So in the comment it says the Shakespeare thing

You ask her if Shakespeare is evidently As funny as you dancing in your pants And she says, oh yeah, definitely funnier than that And then you showed the video with Frank dressed as Shakespeare Oh, that's good, Frank. Really good stuff. She said to me that she said I like to put three hours or so aside each day to just sit and think. You think that's not Hulk Hogan.

I don't do anything. I just, I just think. Poor Hogan. Oh yeah, I've been poor Hogan. I said Hulk Hogan. I got my own, he got his own back. I tried to put him down and said, oh, make a sound like Hulk Hogan and I actually got it wrong. I completely humiliated.

Hoist. Hoist. By your hour. Petton. Well, we know you enjoy that, Frank, occasionally, on a weekend. That's not enough. What's that? We're being hoist.

We know you've enjoyed that in the past with the S&M community. Oh, I see. Yeah. Have you ever been to a nightclub called hoist? There was one, wasn't there? I don't know. Yeah, I do. Some friends of mine used to go, I said, I'm not going to hoist.

I didn't think it sounded very me. It sounds all right. That sounds very uplifting. That's the one they took. told me, they said, oh, if you go to Hoysh, you have to put all your clothes in a black bin liner when you get in. I said, how do you buy a drink? You know. And they said, everyone is naked in there? Yes, you walk in, there's a black bin bag. And there's a man, I said, does the man at the desk, I'm assuming it's a man? I wasn't wrong. You sure it's not

a laundrette. No, he said, it's very easy. You hand over the back. I said, I don't want to get my clothes over. He said, well, you could probably wear a bikini. You wouldn't have to. But everyone has to hand over the clothes because it's sort of a gal. It starts to feel exposing if somebody's got clothes on. Yeah. I don't, I don't think. Fancy that. You don't fancy hoist?

No. Okay. That wasn't pissing Billy, was it? Pissing Billy was in Berlin. No, that was something else. That was in Berlin, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

You could understand him not wearing clothes. And having a bin, been lying with him. That's fair enough. He did what? I mean, if I'd think I'd have had a Jaycloth and stuff. Swafing. I do love a gay club. Hoist was a bit extreme for me,

but I just do love the playlist. It's my kind of music. Best song I ever heard at a gay club. Come on. The DJ played the theme music to Grain Chill, which is the campus thing I've ever danced to. Yeah. Yeah, it's great.

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I went to see Metallica on the road again. Well, you know, I've got a soft spot. Have you? Yes, I have. Ever since I saw that amazing documentary, some kind of monster. I became a bit obsessed by it is James the lead singer, the one I like, Frank, I think. Is it James? James Hetfield.

Yeah, I like James. And I saw them on Apple Vision Pro, their gig. You can see a sort of experience of it where it's kind of immersive. Did you go and see them live then? Well, no, I went to, first of all, we went, we queued 40 minutes in Hackney to get into their pop-up shop. It's become a thing now, the band pop-up shop. Yeah. Boss went to the Blink 182 one

and there's a system of a down pop-up shop. Anyway, so we went there and they had things like they had a beach ball for 35 quid for the great thing about the metal element to this is it was black. Oh, lovely. I mean, black, that's a beach ball. Just really absorbing heat on the beach.

Horrible. You could hold it. Like, ah, I've been scolded by the goth. Yeah, 35 quid for a black beach ball. A black beach ball. So they had Dot Martin's 160 quid. Is that reasonable? I'd say shoes are expensive.

Shoes rather than boots. Oh, shoes. I would say for branded stuff. It's a little on the punchy side, but this is Metallica. Someone tell me a story of the day about their cobbler did. would mention... Cobbler? You would mentor.

Who are they? The Pipeiper. I was talking to Daniel Daly Lewis. How about they? They're from 1382? No, he's got a regular cobbler. And he does dot Martins. And apparently he got a...

What do they call those letters? Something and desist or what is? Cease and desist. Sees and desist. No copyright. From dot Martin saying, we repair. What, Martin Clunes? Who does that?

He's got a bit aggressive, Martin Cleans. He always had it in him. I never knew that was a pun on Doc Martin. But it is, isn't it? So why did they make the pun, Frank? No, but there was another dot. Wasn't there a Doc Martin dog drugs? Oh, no.

Was that something else? I don't know. Bob Martin, I think that might have been. Oh, no, but that was unfortunate because it was, yeah. What? Oh, I'm lost now. I'm totally not. The person in it has been not without scandal.

No, I'm on about Bob Martin dog drugs. Oh, oh, I'm talking about this challenge. I don't want any, I don't you cast in shade on Bob Martin's. I can't remember what they were anyway. Anyway, let's go back to the cobbler and the merchandise. We've got a black beach ball. We've got Dr. Martin's. So then we went, Kirk Hammett, who is the guitarist.

Love Kirk. In Metallica, was doing a Q&A. At a place called Hackney Earth. I don't know if you remember. I went there before and had to sit on a fucking wooden floor. I did the same. On my bony old ass. I went with your wife and your sister-in-law.

My back was in agony for three days off. Well, it's just, why did they meet you sit on the floor? Then we found out after it was a bit like Wimbledon. You can hire a cushion. And we didn't find out till after. How was Kirk? Kirk was great. But this, it was like one of those days when it was like 34 degrees.

And there was no aircon in Hackney Earth. It was fucking steep. It was really hot. And I don't mind, at my age, I don't mind a bit of intense heat. And also, there's a lot of black being worn as well, absorbing the heat. There's a guy next to me and he said, oh, Frank Skinner, great to see you. And he said, how many times have you seen him atalica? That was the first question.

I said, I've seen them twice. He said, I've seen them eight times. It'll be nine tomorrow. You going tomorrow? I said, no, no, we're not going. He didn't speak to me again. Oh, he was one of the super fans. I like, is it Lars, the drummer?

Oh, yeah. I'm a big fan of his, I like Lars. So you... This is not a pon. He gets a lot of stick. Lars. People sort of say, well, you know, like people used to about Ringo. I think, is it because Lars and James used to fight quite a bit?

No, I think it's about his drumming, but I can't, I can't feel anything wrong with it at all. I think he's wonderfully created. I don't know. Anyway, it was really hot. And on stage they were saying, God, it's really hot in here tonight. But I can't have got like skinny jeans on. A leather jacket and a scarf. He had a fucking scarf on.

And of course he had shades on throughout. Of course. But I thought, how are you even? Everybody was like, oh, God. You know, there's a lot of big men in there. You know, they were putting as much fluid in as they could. A lot of beards as well. Yeah.

But, and then he had, he had his guitars. on stage and he talked about Peter Green, do you know that is, who was in Fleetwood Mac? Oh yeah. And he's got an old guitar of his which he paid a fortune for, which he calls Greenie because it was played by

and then he finally got to meet Peter Green and he said, this is your old guitar and Peter Green said no, I think mine was more red gold. And he said, no, this is definitely, I

No, because I bought it. And he goes, no, I don't. Oh, no. Which is what Ringo did to me. I showed him some autograph. Did he? I didn't know that. No, I don't think those were real.

Did he? I said, look, it's written on the menu of a Bahamas flight that the Beatles were on. Of course it was real. And he said, no, no, I don't think so. So. Oh, he's always nice saying, isn't he? Well, he probably just does that. And he had the Boris Karloff guitar, which is a famous guitar of his, which has a big picture of Boris Karloff as the monster.

Oh, okay. Not as the monster, as the mommy, I think. Yeah, the mommy, yeah. Yeah. Married six times, I think, Boris Karloff. Boris Karloff? Yeah. Oh, maybe he had a lot of that scarring, you see, on the monster face is actually from rice. Oh, God.

Six times. Wow. So. They didn't have therapy in those days. So I think they didn't understand. They just kept thinking, oh, I'll have a new start. This all, they didn't realize. But there was a great moment when the bloke said,

the interview said, how many guitars have you got, Kirk? He said, well, you know, I don't play them all, but I've got. He said, how many have you got there? He said, well, I don't. And then he said, Steve, called to some blokes. He said, how many guitars? It's slightly embarrassed. And the bloke said, it's, it's, it's wrong, I know.

He said, oh, you. Yeah, okay. You said, well, how many is? He said, I've got 492. Wow. Oh, Steve's done. Wow. 492.

He's going to say 10. Yeah. And then he said, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to phone Rob, right? Rob is the bass player. He said, I'm going to phone. And we all got excited with it. Is he the one, Frank, who joined?

He's the most recent member to join. He's been in a long time. He's been a long time. But in some kind of monster, he was hired around that time. Yeah. Yeah. Around 2003 or something. Someone was telling me recently that when he was hired,

they said, right, we just want to tell you've got the job. You're the new bass player for Metallica. And he started going, oh, oh, really not hiding it at all.

And they said, there's another thing. And he's going, oh, wow, wow. And they said, we haven't told you the other thing. And he's still going,

oh. And they said, we're going to give you a signing on. fee of a million dollars. And then he was going, oh man. He is really good though. So they got him on speakerphone and he says,

where are you, Rob? And he said, I'm in the taco place. And he said, you're still in there, Rob? And he said, well, I've left there now. I'm not there anymore. So where are you, Rob? He said, I'm here. And he suddenly walked out with the bass on.

Did Kirk not know he was there then? Oh, Kurt did. He said, you know, I'd just been to attack it. I just had, I forgot I had the bass around my neck. And they played. It was brilliant. And he's one of those blokes. You know, they said there's two ways to wear a guitar.

You wear it high up and then you hold it as if you're cradling a beautiful woman. With the slim hips and all the rest. Oh, I love it. Or if you hold it lower down, it's like a massive penis extension. Oh, no. Didn't know that. I love them. That's quite nice.

That's quite 90s. Your face. Your money. But Rob is very much, it's a long strap. So I first. On Rob's bass. Back to the Sankton. Tell him to call me.

Apparently, he used to perform with Ozzy Osbourne, which is lovely. Oh, yeah. Before he joined Metallica. That was one of the themes of, which if you haven't seen, I so recommend some kind of monster. I think Buzz would like it now. I feel he's ready for that film. Yeah, I've seen it. Yeah, it's extraordinary.

Recommend it. Is there a monster in it? No, but it was the name of the album. I would say there is. I think you're right, actually. I think you're right. And it's the therapist. But the weird thing is that you get a sense of a band sort of in crisis.

There was all sorts of problems. And then the album, everyone says, was brilliant. One of their best albums. Saliana. But it's a great thing with the therapist who becomes a great story in it because you sort of realize he keeps, they say, well, we think we've worked through this and we're okay. No, no, I think you still, there's still so much more we can do.

And then Metallica starts saying, how much are we paying? I can't. Yeah, it was like Elvis's hairdresser, they discovered was giving him spiritual counsellor. And it met the other guys very sort of wary of him. And even Elvis, you know, he'd give Elvis a trim. Yeah. And then he'd talk about the Eastern deities. and stuff with him,

which I find they just talk to me about how they've just been to Abitha. So it's all changed over the years. Frank, may I share this with you from David Lewis? Yes. I don't know if he's related to Martin.

You never know. Seems a shot in the dark. It's a bit of a shot on the dark. One step away from you. Come on, carry on. I am a long-time listener, originally from North Wales, Rexham, who's lived in China since 2009.

I just want you to know how your show has become an excellent English listening tool over here. My wife, who is Chinese... Haven't they got enough listening tools over here? My wife who is Chinese and our children, I think he's speaking specifically about his family experience, love listening to your podcast every week in the car. I know this sounds like praise, and I'm not being a bit capital-rength. Like, we love the show. I just think it's very interesting.

That specifically it's an interesting language tool for the children. I wonder why they've settled on your show. Well, I suppose listening to a language, even in a strange accent. Well, it is a strange accent. And they listened to it constantly recently during a two-day road trip to Hong Kong. Goodness. Yes. And so David Lewis says I genuinely feel that Frank should be an official learning.

material for English language learning around the world. Well, you were an English teacher, of course. But also they used an extract from my autobiography in a mock exam English page. I wonder which one it was. Do you know which one it was? What, the extract? Yeah. Yeah, it was me as a child going to the top of my garden and scream in as low as I could

at night. And it says things like, how does Frank Skinner create the atmosphere of being all the... You know, those questions, comprehension questions. It's gone all that stuff on it. I would have been quite thrilled if I'd have seen that. Oh, I'm thrilled by almost everything. Okay. It's good to know.

Yeah. How are we going to end it now? I feel like we should end it. I don't really know what to say, Frank. You've got anything you want to say? Well, I've got something I have to say. What is it? The next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days,

is out on Wednesday. Emily's been to see Blythe Spirit. Oh, yeah. I'm telling everyone about my daydreams. That would be interesting. That sounds awful. Yeah. I hate daydreams.

I don't listen to this one. It's your worst thing you've ever done. Yeah. Is that like when I, my daydream's like when I'm on the, I used to be on the toilet, being interviewed by Michael Parkinson. You did. Or you played for Barcelona.

Yeah. And managed. Yeah. Managed that daydream lasted so long, but I retired and started managing. Tell you what else must have lasted long. Yeah. Might want to leave it a while. It was an instalment.

I, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't all in one go. But yeah, I got, so many years, so I actually quit playing and started managing them. That's what he used to do, fantasise. He calls it a daydream. Oh, Ruth. What she knows about me. Oh, yeah. I knew that.

Best not to know. So, and the team make a bet. on whether Bars will become a successful comedian by 25. Oh, wow. Well, I'm sure at 25 you'll be already well established. Yeah. Okay, so that's it for another. I'm going to have some of these sweets, Frank.

Yeah, me too. I'm going to try the supersonic lozange. Oh, okay. I seem to remember. Don't go down the Gallagher route. I seem to remember a line from an old movie where someone slips a pill into a bloke's drink and it knocks him out. A bit problematic. Yeah.

And the guy, one of the guys who did he, he said he's gone to Slate quick and he said, I remember exactly what he said, that lozen would have stopped Godzilla's clock. So that's live with me That'd be a good thing People sending in really obscure quotes They remember from film I would love that But not the ones you get on the internet

Really odd ones We don't want Love means never having to say you're sorry Or anything that they're... No, nobody puts baby in the corner We want really obscure ones I love that Frank Yeah let's see if we get any

My guess is now Oh don't be so negative Eat your Birmingham Sweet Okay. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going.

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalon, UK. com.