The Frank Skinner Show - Ghosted by Who Do You Think You Are

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

On today's episode of the show we're joined by Johnny White Really Really! Johnny updates us on his far from relaxing holiday, Frank’s terrible sense of direction leads him to a tradesman entrance, and we get a message from Mr O.S himself! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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all the mysteries of the Spanish main, oh, Deborah. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Johnny White, really, really. No, really. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via. Frank off the radio at Avalon UK.com. In the WhatsApp world,

07457-417-7-6-9 Oh, 7457-417-7-6-9 That was Stephen Clark. Okay. Would you care to elaborate? No, it just sounds like the name. If you're on the witness protection, They said, you're never going to be known as Stephen Clark.

No one's going to think that's like a real person. It's too real. Do you get to choose your name? You know too real when you're scanning. Can you choose your name on the witness protection, Frank Skittner? I don't know. I'll look into that. Thank you.

So Johnny was late this morning. He didn't apologize for you. I'm sorry. I'm too late now. Frank, what a way to start. start this. It's a very horrible atmosphere you've created. I was just,

you know when someone comes late and you're waiting, you feel your stomach tightening waiting for the apology that never comes. Well, I was waiting, and I was looking at your face, and I thought, oh no. Never do that when someone's late. It's not a pretty sight.

I didn't even realize I was late. I'm sorry about that. Let me apologise publicly. And is that better or worse? Why do you have to make the atmosphere so weird? I assumed he'd come via the stride of Hormuz, which I understand is a little overcrafted at the moment. They said on the news this morning,

I thought if only there was someone who could get this joke, but it said there's a thousand ships stuck in the strait of Hormuz, and I thought, Helen had tried put one picture on Instagram, because no one was going to. Well, we liked it. Well, look, are you over the fact that Johnny was about six minutes late.

Well, he has apologised. But it's like I love you. You know, when you have to say I love you first. Oh my God, Frank, really, it's so needy of you. Anyway, it's nice to have you on, Johnny, eventually. It's lovely to be here. Johnny White eventually, eventually. That's what you should be called.

You've got to stop that. I should say the award winning. Really? Really, really, really. Since I think we'll ask that Johnny on the show. Morning. I'd be six minutes late if I won an award. He has won the 2026 Chortle Award for clowning an alternative comedy. That's amazing, Johnny.

That's why he was like his car exploding on the way. Well, congratulations. Thank you very much. That's incredible news. For cloning and alternative. Do you remember when it was our alternative comedy? Now there's an alternative comedy to alternative comedy. And was there a ceremony?

There was, yeah, yeah. What did you wear? Just my normal stuff. Okay, would you care to elaborate? I'm quite interested in fashion. An orange hoodie? You didn't wear that? Yeah, yeah.

I don't think I've ever seen, Johnny, not in a hoodie. But to an award ceremony, did you not wear a suit? The chortles, though. Oh, okay. I mean, you could have done, I mean, one could have done. Okay. I think it, yeah, it didn't cross my mind to. But until now, now I'm thinking that maybe I should have done that.

But I don't have a suit as well. So this has been a problem recently because I've got to go to a wedding, but I don't actually have a... I just have for a while. I wouldn't wear the orange hoodie to a wedding. It's a bit disrespect. It's on the wedding. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to a wedding in Manchester and they said, yeah, the groom's going to wear a suit, but that's kind of a eat. Really? What are you going to wear? I'm going to wear a suit. Okay. Do you own a suit? He owns about 50 suits.

He did a show called Man in a Suit. I mean, but is that, is it the done thing for weddings? So do you take one of your own? Of course he is, Johnny. What do you mean? I just thought, oh, I don't know how it works. You take one of your own? Do you think you get there and there's a big suit deposit?

You just fire in. Like, you know, like, you think it's like trolleys at the supermarket? I'm here for the wedding. Can I have my thing? I know trousers are called trolleys, but you've got really convey. But people don't own tails and stuff, do they? Well, some people do. I wasn't planning to wear a tails.

I think you're referring to morning suits. Yeah, yeah. So morning suits, I think like Old Atonians or Wikimists would. But used to their higher, don't they? Yeah, but most, the average person. When I say wedding seat, I meant morning suits. The top hat. It would only be potions.

I had a thing where I was going to Royal Ascot and getting an MBA. in quite six succession. Quite quick succession. And the bloke at Mossbross said, you might as well hold on to it. It's not almost bringing it back for a, you know, three days. I once went to Ascot with someone who was so posh, a bloke who was so posh.

He said, oh God, I brought the top hat, but I brought the wrong one. It was in the kids dressing up box. He had a top hat in the children. He said, I think it was Daddy's or something. I don't know. It was in the kids' dressing up book. But it was sort of like a plastic collapsible one. You barely wear them, actually.

I know. You get to you, it was sweet. And then it's like when you go Temping Bowling, there's like a bookshelf at the bat with hat-shanked compartments. And they all go in there and you get like a ticket for your hat. One of the greatest days of my life. Frank took me to Ascot, sat me next to AP McCoy. And I haven't looked back.

He never looked back, probably. No. No. Anyway, just FYI, orange or you at a wedding? Absolutely not. Did you have to do a speech when you got the award? I did do one. Right. Yes.

But, I mean, yeah, I thought I was going to do a really good one. But it turns out that I didn't when I got up there. Just sort of mumbled slightly. Did you have anything planned? Not really. I thought I'm going to... Well, that's why, Johnny. Well, I didn't expect to win because it was alternative and clowning.

I thought there was a clown that win. Because it seemed ridiculous that, because I just sort of, it's not even that alternative, really. I mean, I just sort of stand and talk. So, uh, my... Well, is there real clowns there then? Yeah, there's clowns all over the scene.

Have they got makeup? No. Some of them have got makeup. Oh, okay. Not like this sort of classic bozo, the clown look. No, not Stephen King. I hadn't expected to win because I thought, well, the odds are stacked against me, what, with all these clowns?

Well, because clowning was first. This is called clowning and all the end. Yeah, I thought I would. The jokers to the left. of you. So yes, it was, I kind of,

I didn't, yeah, so I was, what's the word, flummox? Oh, yeah. I thanked Zoe,

my girlfriend. And then, and then, for what? Just for, just in general. Oh. I quite like that.

It's quite Oscars. Yeah. It's quite for losing. I just want to thank my partner. I won, oh, comedy.

You know, when I was comedy awards, he used to be a big deal. Oh, did you win one of those, Frank? I won, like, ITV personality of the year. That's lovely, well done. And I thank my manager. Yeah. Because he was on the judging panel.

And I'd been nominated nine times and never won. And then the year he was on the judging panel, coincidentally, I won. He gets his way, that. Make of that what you will. You've won lots of awards, Frank. You're on rear of the year, along with Cal, you shared it with Carol Smiley. My award, my comedy awards, awards that I was sort of happy to get, you know, like Perrier and stuff, just in a cardboard box in a cupboard because my wife says, oh, it's really nuff.

Oh, it's nice. It's nice. I know, but it's why I love Cass, because she's right in a way. Is she? Yeah. I think it's cool. If you had your way, would you have them all over the mantel of pieces? Well, the Perrier Award was actually quite a nice-looking award.

It's like a silver bottle. Well, I say, I mean, now it will have tarnished in that box. It's an old can now, isn't it? It's going to look like Lucas said. Yeah, but Frank, you don't want all the awards because money-saving expert does that. There's not that many, though. No, but money-saving expert does that. When he does his zooms over to this morning or whatever, talking about interest rates and mortgage rises,

behind him are all his awards. Money Saving Expert Awards. No, but the worst thing... Do you mean Martin Lewis? Yeah, money saving expert. I saw him do one. That's his name! And in the corner of his bookcase,

I know because I'd recently got an MBA and you get it in a black box and he had the black box open like it was lying in state. He had the lid open and that was on screen so you could see his MBA. I thought that was too much.

Well, where have you got your MBA? Was that also in the car? Yeah, you've got the MBE phone. You've got to have the MBE out. No, that's not out either. I don't even know where it is. Really? Yeah.

I forgot the head out that my wife would. Leave me, at least, at the very least. Oh, yeah, I can't. I can't do that. What else has been happening in your varied life? Well, I went on holiday to Cape Verde. Have you ever been? there. Now, where is that? It's off the coast of Africa. Okay. It's very windy. Is it? Yeah, but

when I got there, I got a cold and Zoe got gastroenteritis on the second day. And then on the fourth day, we switched and I got gastroenteritis and she got my cold. It was very windy. Did you leave the hotel? Was the hotel nice? It was quite nice, but yeah, we didn't really, we went in the sea once but I got seasick in the sea. Do you think you're suited to holidays, John? No, naturally I would, it's only my sort of close association with my girlfriend's area that has led me to go on holidays, but I like them now. It would never cross my mind.

You know, beforehand it would never cross my mind to go on a holiday. Did you go on holidays as a child? A little bit, but not, we went to Wales. But wondering if I'm going to go on holiday, it's like wondering if I'm going to go to the moon. It's like maybe, but I can't kind of imagine all the things that would have to happen before. But now with Zoe, yeah, because of going out with Zoe, I'm not kind of quite. So does Zoe organise the whole thing?

Well, I, yeah, but yeah, but yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I was going to try to claim otherwise. Do you pack a second hooded top? Or does that, is that last? Or do you pack like a black, maybe a black hooded top with a white tie on it? tail. Maybe you could get one of those

top. I've said tailed hoodied top. It's such a goth thing. Yeah, they're quite great. Maybe you should go for that.

So did you not? They'd be good with gastroenteritis. If you'd shit yourself, you could just pull the tail of it. This one used to have on the back of it. Johnny is pointing at his orange hair. Which I can say it has got the

holes for a cord, but no cord. It used to have a big picture of that, you know, it was, the mugshot of Lindsay Loham which got arrested. Oh yes.

It was that, it was massive on the bat but over the years it's this. I would call that orange. Yes, I would call that orange penitentiary orange. Yeah,

it is. It is. It's that one. It's the orange. What is that place where they put all the terrorist arrests? What was the name of that?

One time of obey. Yeah, that's what they all wear. Can you? Imagine if Fowram Ball brought that out. Would you like the Guantanamo orange for your porch? That's what Johnny thought weddings was like. You arrived and there's your you before the after wear. It's a good orange.

I like it. It's a bit Project Hail Mary Spacesuit orange as well. Have you seen that? Oh, yeah. It's good. I haven't to see that one. It's fantastic. Is it scary?

No. I don't know why I have seen it. be scary. No, I don't, no, it's not scary. I mean, you had me at Ryan, you lost me at sci-fi, but nevertheless, I will persist. Who's Ryan? Oh, Ryan Gosling. Oh, yeah, so, so, so.

He doesn't, he doesn't look like a Ryan. I want to hear more about the holidays. I want to hear more about the holiday. Okay, tell us more. And you were a man who would send a postcard? I would give in the opportunity to, and I suppose I did have that opportunity when I was on holiday and I didn't, so no, I suppose. Okay, okay.

Okay, it sounds like somebody who had a walk around telling a lie and decided not to bite. Did you, so did you order room service or how did you eat? We got some crackers from like a local supermarket and just ate those. Well, you lived on crackers? It really was like Guantanamo then. Anything we were eating was just, you know, we were seeing it again really soon. You didn't order room service then?

No, no. But I think it was the food food in the hotel. In fact, I think that's what it did it. And recently, when we got back, I've seen on BBC news that there's people launching lots of lawsuits against, I don't think just against the whole island, but against like tour operators. Really?

Because lots of people, like six people have died. I mean, that's not. People died. Yeah, they've got eco, it's E. coline. Oh. Yeah, so there you go. But I'm not knocking Cape Verde, by the way. But just, it's a, people are cool.

It's very nice place, but they just, they just, they need to sort of have them. I don't like that vomit that comes in with the tide. I'm not very keen on that. So did you not venture outside of the hotel at all, except for you went in the sea once? We went in the sea and we did go for a couple of walks around, but we had to stop every sort of 10 minutes to sit on the bench and take deep breath. It's actually quite a good place to feel nauseous because it's very windy, so it's a lot of breeze. Did you meet anyone?

I saw my dog. When we're in the car. Yeah. The dog put it said right out of the window. One of my great pleasures in life is to be on the motorway Look in my wing mirror And see the dog experiencing G-force

Oh yeah I can't do that with Ray He'll get blown away out of the car No well we do We keep him on the car I think it might be illegal But I don't know But so I think a dog's being sick in your car

It's also illegal So it's a toss of a coin I didn't but I thought that was part And parcel of being a dog I thought they loved that Oh my God Julie I'm looking this up It does love it.

This cat Verde thing is huge, Frank. It's all over the news in the last 24 hours. So you're in the news? It's not you've just come back from art from. It's everywhere. 1,700 British tourists. 1700. Are you suing?

Eight people are no longer with us now. I started feeling in a form about it. But I feel it's just against, I feel bad because it's not, but it is just against the tour operator. What, you feel bad against Tewy? No, I feel like we're all suing. Cape Verde but that's

but that's not the case it is just the tour operator it's the tour operator I think yeah we're gonna give it a go because that might be quite good it's good

you're part of you're in the news now yeah severe gastric you could be interviewed on on

it's everywhere salmonella and shigella shegela that's the one yeah yeah I'd love to be I'd love to hear

Johnny on Sky News saying yeah and we were vomiting all the time and it was definitely at the hotel. And also I'm doing a gig in Hemelhamstead on Thursday night.

And obviously wearing the orange hoodie. I won't accept anything that. Well, I can't believe you're part of a big news story. Yeah. Well, my advice would be to avoid it for a little bit, Cape Verde. What was the island we were talking about the other week, where the gold suffering came from? I'll tell you because that we were talking about. You were talking about Tristan D'Cuna. Yeah, is it anywhere near there? I don't know. Where's that?

If I knew that, I'd know if it was anywhere near. Cape Verde. I don't think they've had 1700. I mean, that's a lot of people, Frank. Yeah. Well, there's only 150 people live on Tristan de Kuna, so that would have limited the numbers. I haven't heard this story at all.

No, well, it's just... I would have written a column about it as the Observer. You should write it. The inside, man on the ground, it's a gonzo journalist. You're actually there. Yes. Tristan Dacuna is in the South Atlantic, Frank. So it seems that the...

No, it's miles away. Yeah. I mean, it's literally miles away. I mean, thousands of miles away. My geography's not great. No, mine either. There you go. Well, look, Johnny, I'm sorry the holiday.

On the plus side, you're a part of a major news story. Well, that's true. It's nice to feel connected to the zeitgeist for once. But not a great experience you had. Speaking of sensor, you know, I've got a problem with my sensor direction. I don't if you're aware of this, Johnny. But, I mean, it's terrible. It's clinical.

It really is. And it's like I've got old. It's astounding. I could easily, if I went for a piss now in here, when I came out, I'd have to just stop and think whether I was going to go left or right, even though I've been in here. How many times? How many times?

70 something? Anyway, I use Apple Maps a lot consequently just to walk places. So I was going to Waterstones in Cheltenham and suddenly I'm going, you know those sort of alleys that you go down where catering staff in Black Crocs are smoking. And like vans, you know vans trainers, they have sort of trousers that look like vans, have made. Yeah. And also they've gone for double breasted in the tuning.

Oh, they love a double breasted? Yeah. I love that. It's very wild wear. Do they wear the Czech trousers now? Those are dying out, aren't they? I still see those. Okay.

Anyway, we went and they're really big bing to get down there. And Apple Maps had taken me to the back of Waterstones. So there was like a little tiny side of Waterstone so I don't park here. And I thought, oh, that's, I don't suppose that's up or Matt, I never said front door. I just said waterstones. Anyway, very soon after that, I think the day after or whatever, I was going to the Senate House Library at University of London. You're nodding, Johnny, do you know it? I think so.

Okay. I've never been there, though. Okay. Well, there was an exhibition about. You know, William Caxton? Oh, I do, printing press. And printing and all that. And that, it did the same thing.

It took me to the back of the fucking place. I had no idea. There was lots of young students about it. And I thought, I can't ask them. Because I'll have to give them some sort of jive handshake. Which I won't know all the components of. I don't think, I don't like that it's diverting you to tradesmen's entrance. No.

Well, is it trying to tell me something. Yeah, it is. It's classist. But anyway, I was quite excited. I found this place eventually. I got, it's on the fourth floor. This is the Caxdon Printing Press exhibition. This is the library.

There was an exhibition. I'd booked to be on a tour. Oh, adorable. Yeah. So it was one room about the size of this studio. But when I arrived there, another woman arrived. And then the tour guy came out. And she said, well, there's 13 people booked.

And they've all got daunt bags and colourful jewellery. And I said, yeah, I said I found it hard to find, so maybe they're wondering about looking for it. And this woman said, well, I found the directions completely straightforward. Whoa! Okay. Shots fired. She said it said fourth floor.

I got in the lift, pressed fourth floor, and then here it is. I said I could find the lift. Once I was in the bill, I thought, what am I justified myself to this fucking woman? Anyway, it was me and her on the tour. Nightmare. How old is she? The tour, she was, I don't know, 50s. 50s, yeah.

How was the atmosphere walking about? Well, it was complicated. How do you think it was, Johnny? The woman started by saying, so William Caxston was... This is the guide said this. Yeah, she said, uh, William Caxston, was working for a printers in Bruges. And then he moved to England to start his own.

And there was his students, because they were just wandering through going, Oh, yes, well, I didn't go to that posy because I was, we were with the horses. And she started going, and so he opened the printing press. But she walked right off to their faces. And they started to go, oh, God, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I love her. I actually love her. She's more passive-aggressive than me. But it was the fact that she went right off to them and got louder. And then the cleaners arrived. So she's saying, now this is a first, this is a, okay, the vacuum cleaners. Oh, my God.

it was then some people turned up like really late and just you wouldn't you know I thought she's going to start again but God bless as she did

how were things with your old adversary by that stage did you and her managed to reach any sort of reproschement were you okay no

well I asked a couple of questions and she asked a couple of questions I think she thought there's no way this blocs asking more questions of me no why this blois who couldn't even find the place.

Oh, it was a fantastic early Canterbury Tales but I couldn't hear a lot of it for the vacuum. Oh man. Well, why do they bring the vacuum out at these points? Surely it can be done overnight. I like, I mean, I like a bit of printing. It's interesting. I do. So did he print the Canterbury Tales?

Do you remember the John Ball printing? I do. The print John Ball printing press. We had one. We didn't have a press. It was like a wooden thing the earth with your hand and you had to put individual letters in. It was more of a stamp. It was more of a stamp.

I did have a plastic typewriter with like a ball on it with letters and you had to turn it round. Like if you wanted to do a J, you had to go roll it round and go that was the J if the next one was a

turn it right down. I mean it was slow work. Very slow work. But it was... How on those turning label makers? It's not quite as good. Oh, yeah, they've gone. I never see them now.

We got one at work, but I mean, it might be for many, many years ago. Oh, is this? Where is it? You work again? What's it called? The Royal Asiatic Society. Oh, yeah. How could you forget?

I don't know. There's all sorts going on with the 1700 ill on the Cap Verde. It's so exotic his life. I do what I did discover. The bloke who took up... When William Caxon died, and the bloke who took over his company. Is that how you break the news to us?

Yeah. Have some sensitivity for heaven's sake. It was, I thought you'd have got a brochure. His final part in brochure. It was taken over by a bloke called Winkin de Word. No. That's fabulous. What's his first name is Winkin?

Winkin, yeah. De word is this, wow. Winkin de word is a bit like... That would be a good witness protection name. I think it's a bit comedian. It's a bit Henning Venn. I like it. No, but I mean, it's great for a guy who's in printing, is he?

It's great. If he'd been called printing the word, obviously, that would have been perfect. I wonder if he was a nice man, William Kaxton. You remember, I always used to ask my dad there when I saw people on telly. Yeah. It was three things, actually.

Is he nice? Does he like kids? How much does he earn? Oh, really? Wow. And as he worked for the BBC, he delivered a lot with all that information. If there was anyone very, very impressive on telly,

like a footballer would just go to three. My dad had said, I bet he's Catholic. Oh, it's so sweet. Is that what? You know, you get gay people always say that about being gay. Something about wanting to gather quality to yourself. I love you. Oh, dear.

So, you know, would you recommend? the William Caxson exhibition? What I would recommend doing is going and just looking at it. Even though I like what I could hear of the lady doing the thing, I think you'd be better in there just looking at the books.

Right. Do you have to have someone, if it's seeing like an old edition of something, do you have to have someone with you to... Do you wear the gloves? It's in glass case. You don't get the gloves. It's not who do you think you are, Johnny.

No. Frank should have done who do you think you are, but they cancelled it. They did. Yeah, it's one of those things. I don't know, it's because my family was too boring, or if there was death. Well, sometimes...

Well, sometimes... Well, sometimes, I think if it's crime, I don't think that would be true of your family. They cancel it, but isn't that good if it's... Well, no, it's once they start researching, they find things... But what they don't do, they don't... Which might not be...

Do they not tell you what? That would be... No, they don't tell you. They don't find you back. It's like... No, it's like... getting dumped by somebody. I was gaslit by who do you think you are.

What do they call it ghosting, is it? Yeah, you were ghosted. I was ghosted. I suppose I was a bit ghastly. You were gassed and ghosted. You were gassed and ghosted. They found, you know, my older... It was a Victorian horror story.

They found my older brother and stuff and asked him stuff. And my sister wouldn't have anything to do with it. Not suspicious in any way. And then I had nothing at all. That's... That was wise about that. I think if they're going to be in the business of researching, they should at least tell you.

Yeah, that's stressful. Depends what they find out. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It might be cool to be kind. When Westchap first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere,

and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, One thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when Westjet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Frank, you were talking about your, I don't know how to refer to it diplomatically, but should we call it your issues with directions? Yes, I'm okay.

I accept it. Simon Navin has got in touch again. Do you perhaps recall who Simon Navin was? Simon Navin is Mr O.S, isn't it? Very good. Not good at directions, fabulous on names. No, but I was very excited because he invited us to the old... Yeah, we never did that.

Well, Simon's got in touch again. To give him its correct title, Simon is actually head of geospatial services. That is a fantastic title. HGS at Ord. When I meet him, I want him to have those lines on his face, going closer together at the end of his nose. And wouldn't that be... If I was him, I'd have an all overbody tattoo of our eyes. Well, you know, I love a bit of contouring on the face, so I thoroughly approve.

And maybe here and there, the odd church or youth hostel. I don't want any valleys, though. What's he saying? Sigh. Simon has got in touch. following Frank's recent Apple Maps misapp, and we should say, Johnny, this predates William Caxton and the printing press

in many ways, because this was when Frank did something awful, he went to Absolute Radio, where we were sacked from, by mistake. Yeah, that wasn't my fault, that was Apple Maps. Yeah, and it was triggering for him. What a thing, though. Yeah, it made him feel like a real failure.

It was bad. It is. It's like Jennifer Aniston gets lost, and it takes us to Brad Pitt's house. So Simon's got in touch regarding that and he said, you know, I'm aware his sense of direction is somewhat lacking. I'd like to reiterate

that you would all be most welcome at Ordnance Survey HQ for some insight into how we make... Why, if we can't find it? That'd be a nightmare, wouldn't it? We won't. We'll get lost. How we make the maps and data that underpins all...

sorts of activity in the UK, from walking along country trails, rooting on satnaves, including the best route for a bin lorry to take. I like the sound of that. Routing on satnav. And what ordnance survey also do, they define electoral boundaries for the forthcoming local elections. And I'm interested in how the boundary is decided. Love and boundaries is there? I think that's their sat-line. That was Simon Navon's autobiography. No, I'll tell you, I also go on a lot of walking holidays. You do?

I wish I could read those maps. I'm totally dependent on signposting. Is that what you call Cass these days? She's got a pretty... She's quite good in directions? When we're walking together, she does hand signals like a driver to tell me which I'm trying to go. I'm not lying. So we walk and she will literally find to the left minute.

She's sending him to Jill Biden having to do the hand signal. Simon Navin says, who knew map data could be so thrilling? His name is so close to navigation. I know. We'd be happy to help, Frank, with a bit of map reading and navigation too if it helps, to ensure that he doesn't end up at a previous employer's premises by accident again. Well, Tim, what happened? So anyway, sorry, Frank, just to say, Simon says,

feel free to get in touch to a range of visit to come and see if in Southampton. we can send directions, comma, reliable ones. Oh, brilliant. Well, I really genuinely want to go. Can you just get the work hours of the cleaners? I'd quite like to avoid that. I think we should do that trip, don't you, Johnny?

Definitely. Me and Baz, my 13-year-old child, where we live, Johnny, that people put stuff out on their front wall for people to take. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if it's just, does that, I don't know where you live,

but is that happening to you? Yeah, there's good. It's good, I like it. David Badele does it a lot, Frank. Yeah, he does. I don't know if he does it. Oh, okay, his family does it, yeah. Yeah, it's mainly, it's his, mainly his books.

Yeah. He sees it as PR. What is what's a big pile of his books he'd written? in pristine condition. Anyway, so someone had put a big box of OS Maps out. Wow. So Boz was like fascinating. I don't know if you'd ever seen one before.

And I said, well, don't take them all, but take a few. And he basically took them like for posters. He just thought they looked great. And they do. They look amazing. Yeah. I think they look at even more. amazing to me because it's for me

it's like seeing a map of Uranus. Because I know where anywhere is. It's fabulously exotic to me. So has you put them up then those posters? Not yeah, but we've got to get blue tack. Oh, I love a bit of blue tack. Yes, we always had that.

What's how about white? I was going to say. I've not got on board with white tach. Is it just stronger? What's the bit? It always is just a different colour. Is there no, what's the difference? I think the idea is people felt that blue tat leaves blue on your walls.

Oh, does it still leave a grease mark though? It depends. I mean, I like blue tap, but sometimes it can go cold and hard. It's good practice for marriage. I'm just going to say that, I aspire to get cold and hard, and I'm on my way there. Yes, we used to have when I was growing up, thank. Me and my sister shared a room, and we had the World Map, Kings and Queens of England. You see, they don't do that with the royals these days, I think the young children.

I had a world map bed spread. Had a world map bed spread? Yeah, that was pretty good. Wow. I love that. So where was round, where did you get tucked into at night? Where was around by your neck? Not Cat-Murdo.

The North Pole. Oh, North Pole. Oh, lovely. Just think you're on to Cape Verde. With no idea. Cade duvet, as they call me. Justice for the 1700. Yeah, exactly.

Start the campaign now. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode.

And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at avalonuK.com.