The Frank Skinner Show - Goody Bag

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

This week Frank and Emily have been for a space-themed outing and Frank has had a lot of compliments about his Fila tracksuit top. Email us on [e-mail] or send us a Whatsapp on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I've got this condition where I don't feel pain. You're a superhero. If this is how intense Nova Kane sounds. Oh, wow. Imagine how it looks. Is there more? Yeah, big time. Nova Kane, forming theaters March 14th.

It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o, and the one with the French name. featuring him and that posh lady oh and the one with the French name from South Africa came they're all here open brackets array close brackets today. Well this is Frank off the radio I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram you can email the podcast via, I say via, frank of the radio at avalonuk.com. You can WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. That number again? 07457 417 769. I was getting the tube in this morning to hear.

I love that about you. Jumped on the tube. Well, I arrived at the station and Alastair Campbell was on the platform as well. This is a special tube for podcasts. Well, exactly. Celebrity tube. So I went and I said, we shook hands. Channel 5, Saturday nights.

And I said, you off to do a podcast? And he said, yeah. He said, what you up to? I said, I'm off to do a podcast as well. He said, okay. Are you getting this one? The tube came. I said, no, I'm doing it at King's Cross.

He said, okay. And off we went. Like to, you know what they call company men those Japanese guys Like some sort of Modern what's it called modern times that chaplain thing yeah factory It's like a poignant moment from an art house film. It would be the end scene Yeah, and then the doors would just close yeah me, me and him, we both sort of looked gray, darkish, and I got onto these terrible grim trains and went to our podcast jobs.

Yeah, because podcasts are freelance, there's something of the 1930s about it. Yeah. Well, you found yourself some work? Yes. I found a nice spread up north. How about you? I imagine we then go home to one of those hotels where you sleep in a pot, you know? Although we got a message the other day, can I say, I don't want to expose too many of our innards,

asking if we could record at 8 in the morning. I'm not doing that. No, that's not... Can I just have that be known now? That we did not get into this line of work to have to record at 8am? No I got the same. My first response was, but I can't use my freedom pass until 9.30. Frank, tragic. You want me to pay? What will Alastair Campbell think if he sees me pay? Frank, you know tragically that was my first response. I thought, what about Frank's freedom pass? What kind of freedom is that?

The long walk to freedom 65 years. Or from your house to King's Cross to save the money. Cry freedom I think that was my... Anyway I want to tell you something. I want to begin with something which is not necessarily in the spirit of this podcast, in that it's not utterly light-hearted. You okay with that? I'll keep it brief. Oh, hello. Have you ever heard of Affleck's Palace? Nothing to do with Ben. Nothing to do with Ben as far as I know.

No. Okay, Affleck's. Affleck's Palace is a sort of a, it's a place in Manchester, you would have called it an arcade in Victoria. It's lots of different stores and shops in one place. And my family were up in Manchester going on a bit of a sentimental journey because grandma's from old and reminds me of a terrible sexist physical joke from the 70s, do you know the way to Oldham? Which used to end up... There was something awful that someone used to tell, I know it was

involving Peckham and Turnham Green, it was all sorts of things anyway. We're much better off now. Anyway on that note, I had a look at the mission statement for Affleck's Palace online. And this is what it says. We're committed to creating a space where you can be the most you, the real you, the you that you might not feel comfortable being anywhere else. I thought that's beautiful. I like that. It's ambitious.

Yeah. So anyway, my 12 year old son saw these action figures in the window of one of these shops and got a bit excited about them. And then as he was about to go in, he noticed a sign on the window that said, no gingers allowed in here. Yeah and he wouldn't he wouldn't go in he got nervy and so he didn't buy the action figures

in the end. No I assume it was a joke. What was the point of that? I don't know. I must he was upset about it and I just mention it because you know don't get me wrong I've misjudged jokes in the past and you know and done worse probably. Yeah that's just that's just plain right downright offensive though. My problem with it is the sci-fi I know you mock the sci-fi community but it's a very accepting community you get you know neurodiversity and all that. It's all absolutely accepted. And yeah, no ginger's allowed in here. I'm not happy with it. I understand that Prince William's got the same sign on his window. You see, a bit of sugar with the

medicine. That's my technique. I don't know why that it's the UK and Australia that has this kind of general anti-ginger societal joke thing. Well anyway I just mentioned it because it didn't make him feel the most you he could be. You he didn't want to be anywhere else to be honest. But let's not dwell on that. So onwards, sorry if I spoiled it with a serious thing. No. I was still at a comedy uni. Very surprised that a shop that sells action figures would turn away anyway. And that's really put me off Ben Affleck. I know it's not his he held entirely responsible. I really don't think that's fair. I know but associations, you know, they're hard to shift once made.

Yeah exactly. Anyway, that was that. I also was thinking by the way that we make this podcast in King's Cross. I know many of you are outside London, indeed outside the country, but King's Cross is quite a famous area. And we reflect on when I first moved to London, it used to be an area where you could buy sex basically. And people used to say things like, well, women would say, oh God, I'm going to end up having to go to King's Cross if I don't get a job soon or something. You know, it was a...

I'm afraid they used to say as well, like a strict mother would say if you put makeup on, you're a teenager, oh, where you off to? King's Cross? Yeah, simpler times. And in Birmingham we used to... My mother said that. In Birmingham, women would say, good, I'm going to end up at the back of Rackham's, if it carries on like this. Rackham's being a big department store. And a very classy one by the sounds of Rackham's, if it carries on like this. Rackham's being a big department store.

And a very classy one by the sounds of it. Yeah, and I thought it would be a lovely social media thing. What was Shortan for becoming a sex worker where you lived? Would I have liked Rackham's? I should give the number out again. You can 07457417769 if you want to tell us or Frank off the radio at avlonuk.com. Can you just make a note, I've got some other Birmingham memories I would like to share with you at some stage. Birmingham memories, what about our joint memories because we went out this week, Emily and I. It was lovely. It was last minute, but you know what? Just FYI, for anyone else out there, keen to spend time with me, last minute is always the way to get me. I don't like planning too far ahead and I love a last minute invitation.

Oh, well that's good to know. Okay. And I did get one through from Frank Skinner. Yeah well we saw that we were the three of us were going to go originally but um you know Pierre's always got other work. So I was selling myself around the back of Rackham. I don't know if Rackham's is still there anymore. It's a bit like, what's that, Sing. You know, Rackham's gone now but we'll just do it here on the Weiss Grand anyway. No one's gonna stop us just because the fish tank burst. We've got to raise money guys to save the red light district. Come on Badger. That cruel mayor thinks he can shut down our red light district.

He's got another thing coming. He's not spoiling our fun Panda. We'll hold the biggest sexual talent contest this town's ever seen. I would so watch that film. The thing is it wouldn't be called Sings. No. Oh my goodness. Anyway, we went.

Oh, that's tickled me. There's an exhibition literally across the road from Spiritland where we do these podcasts. I see where every time I say that a Native Americans listening things Anyway, there's a big place called light works. It's called moonwalk. Oh, yeah. Sorry the building Yeah building and so we went in there. I we turned up earlier me and Buzz yeah, when you say to people I said to people I'm going to moonwalkers They think I'm part of some Michael Jackson secret society, but it's not that kind of moonwalking. We should say also, what it is, because I'd had read a review, Time Out said full of space age wonder, and I like the sound of that, and then the

Time said it was spine-tingling. It's been very well reviewed. Gosh. Yeah. And it's, well Frank, you explain what it is. Well, can I say, before we do that, we It's been very well reviewed. Gosh. Yeah. Well, Frank, you explain what it is. Well, before we do that, we arrived early, me and Boz, and we're looking around the area. And next door, there's a window for these Ray-Ban Wayfarer smart glasses. You know, these things that you get the internet on your glasses. Oh, no. That sounds right.

I already don't get enough done. It's a bit like being Iron Man. It's just there, you know. So it was just pop-up adverts and pornography distracting Iron Man. I don't want to be watching Fox News and I'm on the celebrity podcast train. No, but we got very excited. So we went into the building and we got one of those threatening, can I help you? Can I help you?

And I said, yeah, we're just going to have a look at the smart glass. She said, oh, that display is just for people who work here. And I said, okay, well, we're just going to have a look at it. She went, no, no, no, no. It's just for people who work here. So we were sent to, it's in the window, the display. So we never actually got to look at the smart glasses. You're not going to say that they had a no gingers allowed sign. No, they didn't.

This is getting ridiculous. I know, he's had enough this week. Turned away from every establishment. They didn't like anyone. I didn't like that. You've got to work here. To what end though? Why would the people who work they need to see this?

I don't know if they make them. If it's Ray-Ban. Didn't we talk about Ray-Bans? Yes we have. I've never heard of a shop where you have to be employed by them in order to sample the merchandise. I don't think it was a shop. I think it was a foyer.

Oh, you walked into some private company, in which case I'm on their side. Oh, well don't put it in the window. I'm a display in the window. It's on to advertise it. I like that you walked into a private company. It was basically like, can I have a go on these computers? No, this is a private company. God, that's a bit rude isn't it?

Don't make it look like a shop. It's called the Meta building I believe. Yeah but estate agents are in the window sometimes working. You wouldn't go and sit at their terminal and start selling properties. But I would if there was a big sign on the window that said come have a go on our lovely property selling computers. Then I think, oh, okay. Yeah, come in our Wendy house out of the pack. Anyway, so that was a bad start. Oh, they spoiled, they hossed your mellow. But then we went in and saw it. And basically you sit in a room, oh, we'll put some pictures online. You sit in a room and there's these massive, massive screens. And you get like the history of the American space.

It's the Apollo missions and it's Tom Hanks. I mean you can't go wrong with Hanks. It's not like one of those Disney things where they sort of judder you in a big bank of chance. No, what happens is we walk in and do that. There were a lot of people sitting on the floor. I got panicked at that point, I won't lie. And Buzz and Buzz agreed with me, said, yeah my back tends to hurt. I said, can you imagine being me, darling? And then they directed us to these very comfy, cushioned, sort of like, I don't want to say pew, because that might be offensive to you, but they were sort of benches, weren't they? Well, it's difficult because it's all four walls around me, four massive walls,

and they've all got different things showing on them. So you need to crane. You have to crane. You have to crane, there's no question about that. We got to sit and this did make me happy. Owen the nice man, do you remember him who showed us around? He was very friendly. He said you're sitting where Tom Hanks sat when he came. Oh Buzz and I were so thrilled by that. Yeah, Tom Hanks came to see the Tom Hanks thing. I love that. Oh, you're not so sure?

It was just I wouldn't go and see a me thing. Would you not? I don't want, there isn't any me things for me to see. Well, there you go. Unless I set a mirror in row D, it would be difficult. So Tom Hanks pops up and says, everywhere around here used to be prostitutes, but now it is a space launching mad. He didn't say that.

What a world. Can you say that anymore? No. I don't know. I was talking to one of Buzz's teachers the other day and talking about it. I said, yeah, but I think that achievement was dwarfed by what he went. And I said, can I not say that? Can I not use it as a verb? He said no you can't use it anymore That's difficult. Yeah anyway.

Can I tell you when Frank, this is one of the things I love about Frank is his weird kind of childlike glee I mean he's a man with a reasonable fortune and he's achieved a great many achievements in his life but the childlike Glee when he gets presented with a goody bag. Oh man I love a goody bag. And he's so fair and egalitarian like I care he was going no just so you know we've got to share these out fairly everyone gets something. It was so sweet. Was this at the Space thing? Yeah. Space bag. I just love Frey stuff. One of the great tragedies of going from radio to podcast is I hardly ever

get gifts coming. I had lunch with Dennis Leary, the American, I think it was the American comedian, he was more of an actor now, and his wife Anne. it was the American comedian, but he's more of an actor now, and his wife Anne. And at the end they said, no, we'll get this. And I said, no, no, really. And they said, no, no, we'll get this. And then one thing I recommended where they were staying, there's a fabulous Roman Catholic church called Farm Street, which is just gorgeous.

Where my child was baptized, in fact, I said, you should go and have a look in there. So two days later, I got a text saying, well, we went in that church, it said even for atheists, it was absolutely stunning. And I said, well, I went, after I left you, I went and prayed in there. I always give thanks for a free lunch. And he said, well, we prayed that you might pay next time. And I said,

I always respect that level of faith. So is it like a sort of, are you on the moon 3D or? It's kind of immersive in that it's a 360 experience and you do get, I mean I always quite like the inevitable child asking slightly bizarro questions behind you of the parent. Yes. You never hear anything, I don't think you were hearing that child were you? No. It was going to the, it was just doing things like, is it still going on? Just the usual stuff.

Did they mean the space program? Have they cut their funding? But it was... There was documentary elements. There was a big speech from JFK. Okay. The man, not the airport. Yeah. And saying, you know, weird, you know, he's got that, he's a bit daffy, Doc. We're doing it because it's hard.

Which I thought, that's probably what you said to poor Marilyn. Oh, Frank, it's so gross. It was unusual to see him without hearing my dad's voice saying, he's Catholic, which is what he said every time he appeared on the television. Never failed. My dad said said when I was a child, I used to ask every time someone was on television, because I knew he had a bit of access.

I'd say, how much does he earn, followed by does he like children? Oh. Yeah. Because those two were my priorities, those two things. I won't tell you what he said when certain figures came up on certain kids' TV shows. One thing I didn't realize is some, the pictures are so super clear,

even though they're from 69. And Tom Hanks explained that, because there's no atmosphere, there's no dust, no nothing. So they're absolutely like perfect. That's why they're so Insta-friendly. It's so Insta-friendly on the moon, Fran. Yeah? Oh yeah, that's why influencers love it.

Almost as if they knew. All the influencers queuing up to go to the moon. Hashtag no filter. I'll tell you the other thing. On the moon, they had a bit more of the Neil Armstrong speech than we normally hear. You know, this is one small step for mankind. Oh, we got it wrong. I can't bear it.

But before he says that, he says, I'm going to step off the LM now, which is like the lunar module. And I thought, what if that had been immortalized? I'm gonna step off the LM now. And then he got it right. Do you know for years he insisted he got it right and that was a glitch. He said the sound cut out. Did he deny it? Because he's supposed to have said this is one small step for a man and then giant leap for mankind We don't see any more should have said human he didn't know he didn't know we know then

Human race Frank did turn around to one point. I was so proud of him. He said called. It's shocking, isn't it? This is basically all white men. Well, they had the 12 12 people had walked on the moon were all I mean Who's the most famous moon walker? Michael Jackson. But the 12 men who walked on the moon. Even he got whiter. And that's why I always said the whiter he got, the worse his dancing got.

That's no coincidence. No, all 12 men, all white men though, I mean, the idea of it now is really dumb we're thinking about. Imagine getting all the way to the moon and stepping onto it and still thinking, I might just improvise this line, I won't, surely he was rehearsing it in his head for months. Imagine getting that wrong, that one line though. But you know what? But I love the human nature thing of saying, no, no, no, that must have just got out.

And they've really, really put, I mean, they've used all modern technology. They're still trying to find that glitch. It's just not there. It's not there, Neil. I'm afraid it's not there. Do you know, I remember when I met Tim Peake and I said, Buzz always seemed a bigger character and therefore he would have been the more exciting, interesting first person out.

And Tim said, that's precisely why he wasn't the first person out. Well, Buzz Aldrin, when I interviewed him, told me that his seat was nearer the door. And so Neil had to sort of climb over him to get out, that's frustrating, isn't it? That's annoying. I'd have just dashed out.

It would have been even worse if he'd got out and gone, this one, slow, snap, ugh. Sorry love, I've dried. Can we go again? I think he should have stopped with it when I stepped off the airline. And then remain deadly silent for 20 minutes as everyone freaked out. Oh man. Do you know, Frank, there was one point and I always felt, because there was this lovely man showing us around who was getting very excited talking about some of the people. You know, I think maybe he said, you know, we think we might be getting Tim Peake up

here and there was a relative of Buzz Aldrin's and then, and then, you know, it's so difficult because of course it's like, if I'm so, yeah, I've actually met Buzz Aldrin. I've interviewed him. Yeah, I felt bad about that. I think you handled it okay you couldn't not say anything he was really excited. No I shouldn't have got the photos out. You don't want to grind people into the dirt with these things. I know. What was in the goodie bag? Well I just need to know. Well it's I glad you asked me that. Because there was, you know, it's always been my dream that we would be able to just feast on astronaut pills. So you'd get a tiny pill that said meat and two veg and that'd be it.

The rest of the day would be yours. Isn't that what Zempik is? Close. Maybe it is actually. That's why they microdose on it. God I never heard of anyone using it for time-saving purposes but that's a good idea. I just think we spend so long eating stuff and it's messy. Speak for yourself. So anyway there was some freeze-dried ice cream. Oh yeah. And we shared out the contents of the goodie bag.

So there was a t-shirt that was even too small for Boz, but fitted Emily. Yeah. Well, you know, Frank was... Mazel Tov. Yeah. Thank you. It was one of the nicest compliments you've ever given me. You said, you know, I think that might fit Em. Yeah, well it did though. I was hoping you'd wear

it today. Well I nearly did, but we'll get on to that anyway. So anyway, so there was this freeze-dried ice cream in there. So me and Buzz were both very excited about it. And Emily said, yeah, well, I've actually had some of that. And the great thing is that when you take it out of the packet, it doesn't just go creamy, it goes cold. I said, I remembered it tasting cold, but I might be wrong. Yeah. I couldn't remember, because my dad had bought some back

when he was at the Johnson Space Center. I said to Buzz I remembered it tasting cold but I'm thinking it now wasn't cold. Yeah was it buff? Hasn't even been enough this week with the gingers? We got home and said let's have that ice cream. It wasn't cold. It wasn't cold. Do you know, I've Mandela affected myself. I've convinced myself all these years that tasted cold. I still kind of believe it did and they've done something to it and changed it. We'd had a worst, because after we left, we were going to go for lunch but Emily had got other work. Yes. So me and Buzz on your recommendation went to Leon. Oh how did you find Leon? In Kings Cross.

They should just call it Kings of, given that they're in Kings Cross and just called Leon. The Leon symbol is a weird thing. What is the Leon symbol? It's a winged lady blowing a bugle. Sounds quite like your Strasa. Yeah, it's very last days. Yeah it is odd though because in the toilet it's got please don't put anything other than tissue down this toilet and it's as if it's been spoken through the bugle the way they've set it up.

Yeah anyway so we got in there we ordered I love a touch screen order. Oh, it's just touch screen, isn't it? Oh man, I wish all posh restaurants and stuff did that. It's much better. So we did that. And also, I love paying in advance for a meal. So when I'm finished, I just walk. I don't wanna be going, excuse me. Yeah, could you please bring me the bill

and then not the card reader for 20 minutes? Yeah, exactly, exactly. Can you please bring me the bill and then not the card reader for 20 minutes? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Can you just ignore me? I remember in a past, it was the Ivy, which is quite a past rest stop. I'd just like to spend some time with the bill alone if you could just... But eventually, well I don't like crying in public. Eventually, I'm in the Ivy, having been ignored like on three sweep pasts by the white, I'm in the ivy, having been ignored on three sweet pasts by the waiters, I went,

excuse me. And everyone looked around in the restaurant except the waiter, the only person who didn't hear. So anyway, Buzz said, I'm just going to the toilet and I said okay, the food will be like, you know. So then the food turned up, he hadn't come back and I thought, you should have said if you were going in to, you know, sit down and it's the worst. I thought the food's going to get cold. And then I got like, the phone went and it was him. Oh. And when I picked it up, there was no one there and I thought hold on. So I went into the Tyler, I said you alright? He said I'm locked in. I'm locked in the time. What a week! He didn't even know about the warm ice cream at this point.

So I went to the counter and I got an even, not a can, can I help you, but the equivalent of that, excuse me, excuse me, because I went behind the counter. I was so wanted to get someone's attention. And this woman panicked that a customer had gone behind the counter. And I said, my son's locked in the toilet. She went, oh. And she reached across for this metal. You know those numbers you get on tables are a metal and they're just like a folded piece of...

There was one of those which you don't use in there, there's no table. But they had it there and she picked it up immediately and went in and opened the door. I said to a lot of people, get locked in the toilet. She said only people who don't know how to open the door. And I thought, yeah so you've got a metal thing sitting waiting. Yeah. You specifically have that. So if you've been locked in the King's Cross Leon toilet, let me know.

Maybe we can do something about this. Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play? Did you enjoy it? What the... Leon? Yeah, it was good. It was good. I liked you enjoy it? What, the um... Leon? Yeah, it was good. It was good, I liked it. I told him as well there was a showbiz connection. Do you remember what that was? Owned by Henry Dimbleby. Oh, son of...

David. Oh, wow. I mean, who'd have thought that? Leon? Leon? Yes. What? Doesn't seem right. You don't know anything, you two. You don't know about David Beckham being a beekeeper. You don't know about the Dimblebys and Leon. You don't know about the dimble bees and Liam. You know what Bob said to me when I got him out the toilet? I said, is you alright in there? He said, I was just hoping that they check the toilets before they lock up for the night.

Oh, Bob. And I said, Hold on, what do you think I was going to do? Just go home. He said, I suppose it was nice knowing him. Oh well, he hasn't come out for the toilet. He's one of our favorites, so be it. Absolutely insane. The boy has failed to return. Oh well.

Kath, we are no longer with Charles. Yeah, when Kath gets in and says, where's boss? Oh, he went to the toilet. He belongs to Leon now. The bugling angel hath taken him. He's out there somewhere making chicken breast sandwiches. What will Bimble be? Will Bimble be? Yeah. Leon is another place where I lie about my name.

What do you say? Because you have to type your little name in on the... Oh yeah, you do. What do you say? I just write Peter. Do you? That's a bit... Oh, but it's all got a bit of apostles. I just put Peter. Pierre is such a problem for everyone in London. Why is it a problem? Perry... You've had this before. People can't say it. I'm sure. Pire. Pire.

Pire, so they know the word for a pire. They're just riffing on what the spelling in front of them is, and I'm always worried that I'll be about to go forward and someone will go, I'm Pire, and take the thing as I go. I'm Spartacus, hey, I'm Pire. I'm Perry. Some smart, some firing bloke with a widow on his back saying, I'm Pire. I'm Perry. Some firing bloke with a widow on his back saying I'm Pire.

You must never get misspellings. Yours is so classic and easy. No, Frank's nice and easy. Well you would think Emily was but oh no my friend. I've had a sort of country and western version of Maya's name. When I said Emily I got Emma Lee like Emma hyphen Lee. Emily Dean. That's good. The daughter of General Lee or something. I always get a little buzz of pride when they call Frank out. I don't know what it is. That's because you're a celebrity. I don't know what it is. I just think yes I have done it correctly. That's because you feel like you're winning a BAFTA or something. Yeah, I've got that. Fag Skinner. Do either of you guys have the anger? This might be a spectrum-y thing. I get very annoyed when they're just screaming a number and no one's

reacting. My worst thing, and I've had this with you guys, is when you're in a restaurant and the waiter comes over and says, the lamb casserole. And everyone's talking and I'm really feeling empathy for the waiter. I start going, who's having the lamb casserole? Yes, exactly. Yes. Listen to the waiter. When I'm in a Leon or a McDonald's or whatever and there's just some lady holding up a paper bag going, 713, 713. But in a kind of not nearly a loud enough voice. And then eventually some dope on their phone will go, uh, and sort of

gamble forwards. And it just slows the whole thing down. I always think someone got in there, ordered, and then say, anyway, I'll try this ozempic thing the doctor gave me this morning. You know what? What am I doing here? Well, I was going to say we had a message about the numbers being shouted out from the island. We did.

From the island. From the island. From the island. Okay. We got it from Kevin saying, hi guys. Hi guys. Whilst getting chips and mushy peas in a chip shop in Ramsey on the Isle of Man, the North. The young girl gave me a receipt with a number. I sat on the window sill and waited and the girl shouted, three, six, seven, and then handed me my chips. I was the only customer there.

How did you make it to three, six, seven? It's a mysterious place. Something quite military about that. The rule is I shout the number. Doesn't matter if you're the only one. Actually, while we're on the subject of sharing correspondence, is I shout the number. It doesn't matter if you're the only one. Actually while we're on the subject of sharing correspondence, thank you by the way. The rest of the town were out burning the wicker man. The pyre. While we're on the subject of correspondence and we have had some fabulous correspondents, for example South End Sean, who I like the sound of, he sounds like a local character.

Sounds like a local character. He says, hi. Sounds like a local barber's. Yeah. I was recently remembering a quote from Frank about ending a relationship with a girlfriend, which one, and she said she was from Bath Court. He said something along the lines of, the problem with the residents of Bath Court is that they spend more time in the latter than the former, which she didn't understand. She said to me, where's the latter? I wasn't ending the relationship. That ended the relationship.

Oh, okay, fine. I thought I can't come up with stuff this good and not have an audience. Well, Southend Sean, I don't know if he was inspired by you, but he says, which led me to recall an incident of my own. I was once introduced to my in-laws friends and one was called Bob, the other was called Di. I said not so much friends, more the act of drowning. It didn't go down that well. Oh, good. It could have been worse if they'd understood it. Do you respect that though? Do you think

it was worth it to make that joke? Thank God I got into comedy as a profession. Well that's a weird thing to say when someone shared something. I know, but you don't want to be stuck in a world where your jokes are constantly being misunderstood and not- Oh imagine that Frank. No exactly. If you said Bob and Di and then their first reaction must have just been, oh so we're

like drowning are we? Don't get me wrong, my partner laughs at none of my jokes. That's not true, frankly. That's a humility exercise that I deliberately set up. It's something monastic. Yeah. That's good for me, I think. She does laugh at your jokes anyway.

She absolutely does. You're like Gatsby. Looking out across the bay. Oh Gatsby. One else, who else? I tell you what we've had. We have had so much response to your top. We posted a picture. You know when we went to that restaurant the other week and we embarrassed ourselves and ordered two glasses of water and two chips between seven of us

or something. Oh yeah, yeah. I wouldn't mind but we ordered the water for dipping. They loathed us and you know what, I don't blame them. But you were wearing, was it a feeler top I want to say? Feeler top, yeah. Feeler tracksuit. It's larger than it is. Oh Frank. Can you share please?

A tracksuit is, in British media a tracksuit is a Fila top. The police say I have to wear a top that says Fila on it as a safety measure. Well everyone was obsessed with that. It was that or the harness. You avoided the tag congratulations congratulations. Yeah, exactly. Easterbed said, Frankener Fieler set anta top very Borg circa 79. Yes. Of course, it's gibberish to me. No. Was it?

Why was that gibberish to you? Because Bjorn Borg, the tennis player in 79, wore a lot of Fieler. Did you like Bjorn Borg? I did. He was my favourite. Okay, so it's not the Borg from Star Trek. No. Wearing vela tracks.

Josh Widicombe got in touch, I have the same top as an OAP. Oh, he's got that top. Well I hope he's talking about that top, Frank. That way. I was a little insulted initially. I liked, um, ex-Hooligan meets with his niece and nephew after successful parole. Jason Mohamed, funniest, oh sorry I was going to read some praising and virtually I do apologize. Oh that was close. What he said was...

I'll lie awake tonight thinking what was that going be funniest? You'll never know. Thing is done for years. Loving Frank's trackie top, very sopranos. Is that soprano? Yeah because the old men, no offence, the old men at the beginning, that's all I've ever seen them do, they meet in a coffee shop with that. It's a slight Floridian, the sort of retired mobster Miami look. Yeah. They sit outside the sort of pork sandwich shop that they run. Tony, you're gonna go in for one less job.

That's all they do. Okay. I saw like, So there's a toilet in there. I would have preferred to watch that, if I'm really honest. One last job. I prefer to watch Tony Soprano on the toilet than that thing that I saw.

I hated the Soprano. So did I. We all hated it. No, I'm pro. I'm pro Soprano. Are you? I did not know that before you got this job. Soprano, I think you're...

I'm Soprano. Did you know this? Yeah, we've discussed this. I think most people are wearing the mine on. Why don't we like it, Frank? I bought the box set of the first series. People tell me it was so brilliant. Why don't we like it? Frank? I bought the box set at the first series.

People tell me it was so brilliant. Why don't we like it? Because it's not very good. I get the impression you guys watch it and go, these are ridiculous cartoonish men, which is also true of the real Mafia in America. No, but at least they're not, as I said before. Can I say I don't think that about the real mafia? No, because the real mafia, as I've said before, the real mafia don't behave like the Dolmio ad.

They don't. Okay, thank you. Good night everyone. Very good to the Catholic Church times. Don't tell anyone. Anyway, so yes, we should probably... Do we have to finish? But Frank, can I say, you're winning the fashion content at the moment. I've never had so much response to a top. People are saying, when did Frank get

so stylish? Yeah. Bit rude? There you go, Sue. You sparked it in the last 11th hour. We were supposed to be going to stop there and that wouldn't have happened. Anyway, it's not my appearance that I fret about. Oh, isn't it? It's a comedy.

It's Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, it's the Frank Skinner podcast, don't you know? Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradioatavalonuk.com.