The Frank Skinner Show - Googling Ruth Husko

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by Ruth Husko, who Frank’s been Googling! The team discuss Huskies, Lapland, and whether Frank would ever do Strictly Come Dancing. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Reaching your audience on Spotify with display ads is easy. Use your existing creative and launch your first campaign in minutes with Spotify Ads Manager. It's Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frank Skinner podcast, don't you know? I'm a supersonic rocket ship. Nobody has to be hip. Nobody has to be out of sight. This is Frank on the off, off the radio. Oh, that's a shame. Simple era.

but it's made now. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosko. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonukk.com. What's up? 07457. It's that one again.

Oh, Frank. 69. Don't savor it. That's my advice. I would never savor it. No. Thank you. No.

Linger and beeswax. Oh, hello. Hi, Frank. Hi. Oh, actually, are you familiar, Ruth Hosco? No, they did that on Radio 4. Why do they do that? I hate it.

I hate it. So I know who you're talking to it. It's my worst thing when they do it. Are you familiar, Ruth Hosco with Hosco Asia? I'm not familiar with that. Had you? Oh. So I looked up Ruth, Horaceau.

Because I kept hearing this stuff about roots, Roots, enormous online following. And of course, I don't, what I realise is I'm presuming there are on things like WhatsApp and stuff, which I can't get on. They're not on WhatsApp. WhatsApp is how you communicate with people. Oh, okay. You mean X? So it's on.

Napsack. It's on Napster. Yeah. Yeah. It's on Devalch. Yeah, yeah. It's on Carcraft. Prefab.

Yeah. It's on X, which was Twitter. Oh, I see. I can't get on. There was a time you could go searching on those. Yeah, you have to have an account. So I didn't. But what I did find was at Hosco Asia.

What's Husko Asia? Well, I thought, is it like, you know, big in Japan that Ruth Hosco has got this profile? Massive in Beijing. But HOSCO Asia, which really impressed me, is remember when I went poppy fondling? I told you about that, didn't I? Poppy fondling? Was that to do with your kabapoo? Yeah, we took, my nephew, we bought him a poppy fondling.

I'm so sorry, I thought you said Poppy. Oh, no, Poppy. Okay. Puppy. Yeah. Sorry, Frank. So we went. and fondle hoskeys.

I just wish you wouldn't say fondle. What do you call it? I don't know. Just say cuddling or I just think fondling is a bit, Mr. Fiddler. And I don't like it. But you would think, you know, instinctively. Mr. Fondle. But you'd say, yeah, Mr.

That is definitely in carry on camping. He's a hyphenated Mr. Hoski fiddler. Just don't say fondle, Frank. That terrible scene, Hosky fiddler on the room. Oh, don't. They'll pursue them anywhere. Frank. Anyway.

Just don't say fondle. We just say like, you know, puppy cuddling. What would you call it? Yeah, cuddling, yeah. Because it's not stroking. He do stroke them, but stroking's on a, I mean, you think about stroking a dog. It's only one. No, but fondle implies a lack of consent, which I trouble with me.

Well, there is now, but they had no choice. I mean, that's the slogan on the puppy fondling place. I went to. In the black countries, you know this, Frank, that... Go on. You know, instead of saying hug, did you used to say, give me a love? No. Okay, I forget that then.

From the start off, we never hugged. I never remember that happening. It was coming in more in the 90s, because definitely. When you say you never hugged, is this quite a new thing for you then? Hugging. Friends, for example. Not until I moved to London, did anyone hog? Is that the same as you rude?

Same, never hugged my friends until I... Wow. Well, we hugged like the dentist and the bank manager. We had to always... So did you find that quite... Was that a period that you had... I still don't. Lovie.

I know you don't. That's why I do it. No. You have no choice. No. But it was interesting, the cultural difference between Birmingham and the Black Country because I only started hugging my friends

when I started working in Birmingham, but the Black Country was just not a thing. No. Do that. Why don't they have... And they stank? well. They're absolutely

all. Yeah, anyway, Hosco, Asia, it's a museum as well. I mean, why is it in Malaysia? She looks great for age. Thanks so much. I'll have to look it all.

So it's Hosk, you can look at Hosk, the history of the Hoski, but also you can go and, shall we say, stroke, coddle. Cuddle them. These things.

And I've made some notes. You're like this. Their slogan is bark to the future. That's lovely. It is, but it's not husky enough, is it? That could be any dog. I know what you mean. It's not specifically husky related.

There's a Fairport Convention song called Meat on the Ledge. Do you know that? It's about like heaven, if you're like, we'll meet on the ledge. I'll see all my friends up there. It could have been meat on the sledge. This could have for the Hoski's. Because they're so sled, very. They're mad about sleds.

Exactly. But anyway, it advertised some of their Cleon. Some are not Cleontel. They're staff. Some of their fondles. Some of their canine staff. Stop! It's how there's, well, there's, hold on, I'm getting there.

Also, Husky's Howl rather than bark, so that's also inaccurate. Do they? Yes, because they're more, they're very close to the wolf. Oh, right. See? So there's no boo. the mini giant. Already I've got a problem with that.

The mini giant. And why bring it up? Why even go to giants at all if it's a small dog? An average size dog. Riku the introvert. Well, I really want to get him. I want to pay 30 quid to

engage with Rico the introvert. The one who sits in the corner of weeing out of nerves going Oh yeah Come here Ricker Ricka come here

30 quid come here and finally Hannah the It the It Girl Heartbreaker Oh

Oh Oh That would you know When's the last time anyone said It girl Oh yeah Key Popco Asia

And I don't want to know Those things about you know Foreign Language is not Transylating

So ignore the first part of this, but it says, kindly remind is the heading. But then it says, kindly remind that socks are essential for entry. Really? What's that about? Well, I think that's because the Huskies, what do you think it is? I think the Hoskis version of Kryptonite is the Varuka. And so, a Varuka will kill a Husky in 30 seconds. So you're Mosswear socks when you're in there. What do you think it's about? Going in barefooted?

I thought, and I'm not, you know, forgive me if this might change from different parts of Asia. But I thought like the bare feet thing was a, is it a normal thing or not? Or is it a disrespectful thing? Yeah, maybe don't a disrespect. No, boo, the mini giant. Or maybe the husse. Huskies like biting their feet. I don't know.

I've just looked here that some huskies, well, it says they can be sensitive about foot touching with some showing aggression. Oh. Which is interesting. But I'm presuming it means the huskies foot, surely, not the humans foot. Oh, I see you can't touch it. No, they have to wear the socks as well.

Aoski is a little sports sock. Oh, I love. Oh, I bet the it girls are little sort of Paul Smith socks designer. Well, they need a reinforced soul for when they're, they put the brakes on the sled. You know, and you just put one foot out on the floor. For turning. Do you know, I should say there was a problem with the husky

because of Game of Thrones. So many, I'm afraid, ended up in rescue homes, rescue centres. Well, people just... Well, they're good at rescuing. People just looked at Game of Thrones, went, oh, those are great. So I won't do an accent, sorry. Oh, do they have them in games of Thrones?

They're all... They're sort of themed around Huskies, isn't it? They had these amazing sort of blue eyes in it. And suddenly everyone was buying huskies and then realized they're quite, I would call them high maintenance dogs. The temperament is high maintenance. I'll tell you,

I saw a documentary about a bloke who went on a husky sled across, you know, Arctic wasteland. And he said the terrible thing is we rode for like, I don't know, three hours non-stop. He said, when they need a shit, they just, shit, it just flies back into the face, the one behind you. They're on the sled.

He said, and when you're on the sled. you actually stop, when you get it into the shelter, he said you realise all the ropes and the harness and everything are just covered in dog shit, all of you. Oh no. I never mention that or Hosco Asia. That's why you need socks on the floor's covered in shit. Oh, the poor introvert one. So you should check it out.

I will do. Why is it Hosko and not Hoski? What, my surname? No. Oh. No, the centre. Yes, why is the centre? The centre sounds very sinister, doesn't it?

Like something I'm the prisoner. Yeah, why is it? Yes, you're right. Maybe they're trying to sort of like give it branding or something, give it its own identity. Yeah, it makes I will check it out, thank you. Like the It Girl Heartbreaker. I said about Heartbreaker.

Well, they all look the same to me, Oscees. Siberian? God, I rescued that one at the last minute. What? They would be Siberian, I would imagine. I don't know which type. Well, I don't know if these, I think these are in Malaysia, so I'm guessing they must breed them.

There must be some Malaysian connection. Do they have snow in Malaysia? I don't know. I've stopped in Kuala Lumpa. It was fucking hot. It's one of the hottest places I've ever been. I wouldn't want to take a husky there. No.

Especially with all the dogs here. Not with their pelt. You must never shave the coat, though. No. People often make... I'll be honest, I never do. People will make that mistake. I've never saved a husky in my long, long life.

I've waxed one. Oh, God. That was just for aerodynamics on the sledge. Well, they have the double undercoat. For narrow alleyways on the sledge. They haven't used an alleyways. On the shit sledge. Yeah, exactly.

A terrible shit sledge. Oh, the shit harness. So hang on, if you go as a guest, you know, you can pay you to go on these sledge, sort of Christmas. Does that mean the little children get pelted with feces? I think there's a shitshield. Shih Tzu, I've got one of those. I think there's a shit shield that takes the main thrust.

Have you ever taken buzz on one of those lap land things? No. No. Isn't that a clubber in Birmingham? He's a little young. Yeah, exactly. I think I might leave it a few years. No, I read somewhere, there's more lap dancing.

clubs per head of population in Birmingham or is it the West Midlands. Frank, I've just realised that. Sorry, Ruth, I was going to say, but that must result in terrible confusion. If there is a Lapland club in Birmingham. Hello there. We'd like tickets for four for Saturday the 23rd, please. Yeah, I didn't really want to be putting money in Santa's underpass. I don't like the sound of his grotto either. Exactly. No, I can smell it the minute I walked in.

Frank. Come on. Oh, God. Because he loves a sledge. He must be covered in shit, Santa. That's what he wears well. He's constantly winding through right here, shit. I don't know what to do.

Hello, Santa Scrocha. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad. I get it. I'm Siaia and I live in ice cold. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned, and today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better.

Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Okay, Ruth, yeah. Just civilise us. Shall I do some outside world? Yeah. Okay, moving on.

Chip shop puns. Dear Frank Etow, a listener since I was in short phrases, I was going through a brief ACDC phase. I listened with interest to your recent discussion about Usk's Starship Enterprise. Do you remember her? I have a long-standing theory that there's a direct correlation between the quality of the pun used in the chip shop name and the quality of the chips. My best, Market Bosworth's The Batter of Bosworth. That's good. Yeah?

Okay. Yeah. Would you like that? I'm comfortable with that. Yeah, I think that's pretty good. I'm happy with that. Yeah. Good night.

If you're in the area, I can recommend the excellent battlefield visitor centre where you can marvel at medieval weaponry such as the bollica. Okay. Anyway, I challenge your readers to find a better chip shop pun. The batter of Bosworth. The Bachelor of Bosworth. I mean, it requires quite a lot of historical background to know the significance. I like it because it's saying do the work.

Do you know what I mean? It's not making it. It's not the cold father. No. It's a niche limited appeal and I quite like that in a way. No, I think it's good. I like a pun that alienates that you, if you haven't paid attention at school. Fair enough.

That was praise redacted from Andy, I meant to say. I'd like to go in there and say the Corrie sauce, the Corrie sauce, my kingdom for the Corrie source. Oh, that's first class. Yeah. Absolutely, first class. In fact, I love it so much. I'm going to call it first class. Oh, good on you.

Well done you. I'm trying to do this more, say bath and things. Why not? I tell you what, Susie and Sunny Sussex. Oh, yeah. Susie and Sunny Sussex. I like her alliteration. I do, and I like that she sounds a bit 70s as well.

Susie and Sunny Sussex says, can Frank let me know what he thinks of fellow comedian Josh Whitacom landing a presenter role on Strictly Come Dancing, would Frank have taken it if he was offered something like that? That's a good question, isn't it? Would I have taken it? Yeah. And it's with, we should say it's with Emma Willis and your great pal who adored you.

Do you remember your hands? JoJo. Jojo. Did you ever see him? I really recommend it. Frank and Jojo on the Jonathan Ross show. And every time Frank said anything, he kept saying, Oh, Frank, you are too much.

What are you doing to me? And then he said, I can't take you anyone. He adored Frank. It was very fine. Would I have taken it? That's a good question. What's the money like, do you think? Oh, I think it's very good.

It's not a job you're going to do for... Yeah, but it's it very good. We're still talking about the BBC, and we understand this is a lot of money, but it's not streaming money. But it's not a job that you'd want to put in your time capsule. Right. Do you know what I mean?

When people open your time capsule to see who was this, Frank Skinner. I'd want to put it. Josh Whitacom in my time capsule and he would fit in fairness. Yeah, but you can't have someone else in your time capsule. But with Josh Whittickham, you'd want to put like, you know, the what's it called, the missing leg?

The last leg. Not the missing leg? That is the rudest thing. I did. That was an accident. The missing leg. The missing leg. Are you actually serious now? I honestly thought that. Look, I'm old.

I can't always remember a proper noun. Anyway, he'd put the missing leg in there. You can't to stop. The last leg. He'd put the last leg and he'd put his stand-up in there and he'd put various... And he is a...

You're a big fan of a stand-up we should serve. You know, he's extremely funny man. But I think it would be a laugh. I love Strictly come dancing. I don't think my wife would be that happy about me being on there. week. Why?

Because I think she'd imagine, you know, the curse of Strictly and all that. Really? Surely not. Well, we just seen you do a bit of salsa out there, didn't we? You've proved to her. Not when they were sober, obviously. When they've had a few vodkas, the Russians you mean? When the Russians have had their vodka.

Yeah. Frankske is not so bad after all. I love a bit of vodka. I find sort of 5 o'clock on a Friday on the tube. It's where they're really not. Like a vodka? I really love a large bottle of vodka. When a lot of people come on and went like a Starbucks,

I love that's three blocks drinking a massive bottle of vodka. I like that they're observing the sort of... People coming home from school. But what I like, Frank, is that they're observing the sort of Ian Fleming cocktail hours. Yeah, oh God. It's 5pm somewhere. It's the sundowner. That's what they're happening.

In fact, they're underground. There's neither here nor there. So I think you, yeah. No, I don't. You don't think he would? I mean, no. I might do. I worry, when I see comedians doing game shows, there seems to be a lot of that now.

I respect, you know, that people need to be on telly and all that, keep their profile on. But I also feel upset. Oh, Frank, come on. Deeply upset on their behalf. You deeply upset? Yeah. I like it because it makes it funnier. It means I enjoy it more because it'll be funny.

We need to spread the comedians around. I was thinking Jasper Carrot did golden balls. Do you remember that? He did, didn't he? Do you remember that, Frank? And that's your example of why it's a good thing. No, I was just thinking, because I was thinking about have you ever presented a game show, but you haven't.

But you were a team. He's been on game shows, but not presented on it. I mean, you know, people must do what they do. But I don't, when you get someone who I think is really funny And there's all these big blue lights And they're on the set, the size of a fucking aeroplane warehouse You think, oh no, you're that really funny person You don't need to be saying

Well, we haven't, to be fair, he might make the show 50% funny Oh no, but this is different, it's not a game show No, I know And he will get a chance to be probably funny on it And we all love him. And he's great on the missing leg. Look, I'm not saying. In fact, it's Frank's favourite show.

He's been on it himself. I have been on it. He's been on the missing leg. They've been on it three times. I still don't know what it's called. The missing leg. It's so great. It's the best thing you've ever said.

When you're sitting the other side of the titles going up there, I can't read backwards. It's a lot. Now, I think he will be hilarious. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, it'd be great. It starts soon. And obviously, I love me some Jojo.

I'd rather present it than dance on it, definitely, if that was the choice. Would you not dance on it? No, because I'd just, I'd be that, you know, that old fucker. And they'd just, the week one. Well, you know who's doing it, Frank? I'd be dancing with... I don't know who's doing it. I'd be dancing with three people dressed as lions.

You know, that's what it would be like. And then week two, I'll be out. There'd definitely be some top hats and caves. Oh, yeah. Comedy. You know what I mean, Tony Adams was sitting on a big gone and stuff. Like, they'd do that. I'll tell you what you'd have to be dressed as Super Mario with a comedy moustache going,

you know, they have to turn you into a joke. But it's usually some, it's a bit like, you know, Terry and tune. It's a bit, in case you don't know this bloke, he's the three lines bloke. That's why he's dancing with three lines in case you forgot what it would be. And then they'd start running it. They'd do some. But if you stayed in. Most people are strictly obviously a household name so you recognize instantly.

Well, so are you. Yeah. No, I'm not. Who are the people then who are going to be? Well, I'll tell you who's doing it, Frank. No, that's, you're not allowed to ever ask that question. No. Because it's hard, hard answer.

Oh, because I've read. I mean, I'm sure they're, you know, more famous than me. They've confirmed a couple, so I can confirm one that we both actually know. actually know is Graham the dog father. Oh yes. Who's Frank and I both met.

He's appeared on my podcast a couple of times and he's met Poppy. He'll be dancing to Who Let the Dogs Out? Oh my God, you've nailed it. He will. He absolutely will. What about how much is their dog?

He in the win. He might be dancing to that but whatever he danced to, he will. He'll be in a fucking cravat. from whatever happens, you'll be in a cravat. Do you think you'll have a silk shirt with leather patches on these sleeves? Because he likes that on a shirt.

I think it'll have jeans with turnips on and brogues. I don't think they'll tease him out of that costume. Imagine if he did really well on one, I would love it. I would love it if that happened. It would be something like what she called Javita. Javita will be dressed as that. Javita? Is she called Javita?

Oh, what was this? The missing leg again? It's Javita. She's what she called Javita? I'm Polish. Katrina? No, Javita. Is it a real person on Strictly Javita?

You know, she's got those incredible blue eyes, that woman. Oh, well, that could be any of them. That was a husky. Oh, yeah. No, I think he's right. He's got it right, Javita. Thank you. I'm sorry, I owe you a real apology here.

She'll be dressed as a Dalmatian. and the dog father and be dressed as the dog father. I feel like they've already done which is that dog in the window with Ed Balls. I'm sure it was Ed Balls. What's he could to do with dogs?

I don't know. But they did like it were doing a comedy. They should have done like money, money, money because he was chance for the ex- I think they did do that. They made him do that.

Was he shadowed so of the X check? Money, money, money. Yes, very good. Well, they could have done it in half light. Yes. Money, money, money.

Now I'll tell you what he did was Gangnam style. No, he did. He did. Of course he did. It went viral. I was with him on some sports panel show. He fucking did it on there.

He just did it. It became his thing. It did become his thing, yeah. It was like Frank being asked to do free lines. He never did any chancelline at all. He didn't do a second of chancelin. But he did a gangnam style. All he'd have to hear is that first bar.

He was up. Out of his seat like a shot. No stopping. No stopping balls. I don't know if they did any ball-related songs. No, I shouldn't think they'd do that. You've got to be so careful. It was 6.30 at start sometimes.

No, they wouldn't. Okay. They definitely. But you know what? We will be watching it, Frank. We know we will, because you and I do enjoy that show, don't we? It's great. It's a great show.

We're very excited. Okay. Would you like to hear, where were we? Outside World? Oh, if we've got more Yes, we have We've got some others I wouldn't mind some more, more, more

Make a more pergo Make him up hergo Go on Every time I see him I saw him on something recently And Michael Morpogo Here on the Putney Riverbank Of course he's on the Putney Riverbank

Where the hell else is he going to be With a Panama hat? Oh yeah, always the Panama I can't stop laughing at it When I met him, he was all dressed in purple. Was he? Does he wear a lot of purple? Completely dressed in purple.

He looked like a... Is that an ecclesiastical thing? No, I think he was going to a fancy dress as a swollen vein. Have I got that right? Does ecclesiastical? Is that purple? Maybe I've got that wrong. Depends on me.

Can they wear purple? Oh, yeah, they do wear purple. I've been watching the young Pope with Jude Law. Can I just say, would recommend? I thought he was going to say, would. Well, I was, but then I corrected myself because I didn't want to be disrespected, to you and your culture? No, but I mean, you're saying that you, you know.

I mean, come on. No, but there's something about the Pope thing and that's what I feel is getting disrespectful. I find that alluring and that's wrong and I do apologise. Okay, good on you. It's all gone a bit flea back. I don't know why.

Morpurgo was someone I was, again, I was wary of meeting and then when I met him, it's lovely. We danced Zorba the Greek. You and Morpurgo? Yeah. Well, I think we've got two going on strictly. Yeah. More per go.

For Greek Week. When if not, do I have a Greek Week? Oh, they sure. What would they play on Greek Week? Save your love, my darling. Save your love. Oh, is he Greek, was he? No, was he.

Demis Roussos. No, that wasn't Demis Roussos. Save your love was Renééna and Renato. Oh. What did, he did a... I'm sorry. Greek week is going to be shit. No disrespect to the Greek people.

That's Pasquale. Pasqualee? Pasqualee. I'll tell you who might get the call up. What about the Prat Pack? They might get the call up. Yeah, they wouldn't do it, would do it. Oh, that's chak.

Some of them was. Okay, that's this week's competition. Who out of the Prat Pack would say yes? So strictly. Oh, Connolly, easy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Bradley, I don't think would do it. I think he's too big for it.

I 100% agree. I think Connolly would do it. Hasquale has done it maybe? I think he has. I thought Brian Connolly had done it. Who's the other Brad Pitt? Shane would have done it, surely. I don't think he's done it, but I think he would.

Okay, so they'll all do it except for Bradley. And Bradley might do it, but I'm sure he must have been asked a hundred times. Bradley, I... Barney would. Oh, Barney. I don't let me get Barney, but he looks like he might be able to... I reckon he'd be good. Do you think Bradley is the self-appointed spokesman of the Prack pack?

I definitely do. The leader of the pack. I think you, don't you think? I thought anyone put in a motorbike sound on that. Now that's for your strictly dance. That's very strictly. Okay. So there's a, I mean, I don't normally tolerate or allow jokes, as you well know.

No, we've... I've proved that. You've jumped on mine many a time. Yeah, it needs to be done sometimes. Barry from Black Country NHS, Black Country, comma, NHS. Okay. He said for Frank and Ruth, okay. I work for Black Country Healthcare.

What a terrible monster that would be. Frank and Ruth. Do you know, I would... I disagree, but... I would actually love that monster. Yeah. Monstero, I would love it. I work for Black Country Healthcare NHS.

Foundation Trust. All right. Come on, let's applaud on the... bloody doorstep. Oh dear, that was a bit three runs at the cricket. It was. No, not three. That was a single. Oh, is that a single? Streaky single to third man.

He knows all the lingo. That's why I love him. Was that a single, Frank? Is that what you get for a single? Yeah, but it's also not one that you're meant to play. Oh, is that what's called streaky single? Streaky, yeah. Okay, I'm going to remember that. I'm having that. I used to be bad at using chat GPT, but I'm quite good at it now. AI, love from Barry.

Yes, AI. AI, yeah. But yes, Hope Emily gets it. Is that because is AI a thing, you say, A. AI as in, it's anti. Does it mean AEN-Tai? Sort, but you'd say AI. I'm going to the shops, AI.

It's like Doris Day. You know, Doris Day? I never said she did. Oh, I quite like that, actually. I do quite like that. Okay. Cool. you also want to hear this, which I know we don't normally do praise, but...

It's all right if it's for you too. Well, it's for Ruth. Okay, go away. Are you okay with that? Go for it. I love it. Hi, Franken Gang, again. Don't love that hybrid monster.

Too many. Too many. Too many cooks. Yeah. Too many body parts, spoil the monster. Yeah, it's all the grotto. Just want to say how much I'm enjoying Ruth Husko, which is nice. Miss May.

Great. Is it crazy? Crack? Crack. Crack. Okay. Sorry about that. Well, I apologize. We're back in Lapland again. Is it getting hot in here? Never say to a woman, great crack. Is this from an ex? No, exactly.

Yeah. Sorry, that's from my waxer. Unless you're in Lapland. Do they call them waxes? Is that what they call them? I should have said beautician. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? But you can't say wax.

It's better. It's better. You help the audience. You've got to help them on their way. You got to where you? You got to way, yeah. Shall I try it, see if it sounds natural? You got to AI.

No, no, no. You got to AI. I can't do it, forget it. That was like the Frankenstein. Just bits of language and dialect just roughly sound together. I don't understand it. Fair enough. I've tried, it's 17 years.

I've been trying to understand it. Well, look, I can do pot. You can. You're not trying hard enough. That's the trouble with the... They won't come to us, were they? We're heading her to there every time. I put the G's on.

Getting... Well, so I've heard. So I've heard from your waxer. Oh, man. Sorry, we're getting a bit of Rhabel. Do you have rap dancers now? Do they have a cart machine down there, knickers? Because no one takes...

Well, I was going to see. They don't have a QR code on there. Well, Frank, apparently, they do now with the drug dealers have that, don't they? They've all got chipping pin and things. They've all. Yeah, they're open coats with all sorts of contactless. But wouldn't it be ironic if the lap dancers had contactless? Because surely.

Oh, that's very good. But are they contactless? Do they say, do you take, well, it depends. You have to pay extra AI, AI. If you don't want to, but you pay extra. Well, you can make contact with more money. Yes, if you go into the room. Oh, I don't want to go into the room.

That sounds horrible. That might involve fondling. I know, but I don't. If you want to go into the room, what they will say, they will just be very firm and boundaryed and say if you want more of that, we'll have to go into a private, you can pay for a private answer.

I would say, look, I want fondling, but I ain't going in the room. Here, or this far, and no further. I hate going in the room I know what happens in there you get in the room two blogs come and beat this shit out of and have all your money

you had to pay 50 quid for a glass of pop that they tell you is champagne a glass of pop in 1952 that's the last time I was in her I went with the cries

then we got proper treatment then you get respect I can't do it anymore Oh no, that sounds horrible. The room. No, I think it's, yeah, but it's up front, and I quite respect the... If it was up front, it wouldn't be in the room. Well, also I don't need up front.

But the transactional nature. Oh, Frank. But you know what they say? They'll just draw a boundary and say, no, that's, you know, a different service. Oh. We will. All right. We will.

Netflix. Yeah. If you want to upgrade your subscription. Exactly. Oh, man. But you have to, it's a different service, so you have to enter the room. If you would like a private dance,

we can discuss terms in the private room. Then you enter the private room and the terms will be discussed before any touching commences. What you need is that, was it Nord GP thing? You know the other stick when you could watch foreign football coverage? The VPN.

You have to go in the room. You pretend. You register as being in the room. Yeah. But then you can do it right there in your seat. Oh, God. Oh, hey, good in the room. Come back and off me fucking crisps have gone.

But do they have contactless, Frank? They must do these days. They must have moved with the times. I don't know if they still put... If you're not allowed contact, how can you put money down their pants? I'm sorry, don't stand like that. I think now on the table they have blue tech.

No, you can still throw money. You can still throw money. Oh, that's Greek week. You've always the lamp for a couple of plights. Imagine the amount of crockery broken on Strictly Great Week. Oh, yeah. We should speak to Josh and see if we can persuade them to suggest Green Week. No, not after they poo-pooed his missing leg week suggestion.

That could be one. Anyway, look, Radio Days is back on Wednesday. I'm reflecting on my time on Good Morning Britain. How many times have I done that? Reflected on that. Well, I don't know, but it was definitely no offence earlier back then, wasn't it? Earlier, a slot. And I also think of my ideal alarm clock.

Well, that's an interesting idea. I wonder what that was. It's great not remembering these. Yeah. What would it be now? Yeah. up. Finish it now. Do it next week. Okay.

Bye, everyone. We're watching to some of the Birmingham Backstreet argument. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never.

never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaia and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I role. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Where some see heroes and others see egos.

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