The Frank Skinner Show - Have I Been to Bolton?

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

This time Frank and Emily are joined by Chloe Petts! Chloe's been to Australia and it reminds the team about the most Australian thing they've ever heard. Also, will Frank get the bongs? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Sometimes I wonder why I spend the lonely nights. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Chloe Petz is with us today. Do you know Chloe Pets? No, but thanks for the tip. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You could email the podcast via Frank off the radio Avalon UK.com. And you know what's that?

0-7-457. Sing it. 4-1-7-67. I keep pressing the one with the Jubius 69. I don't like that ending. I like the ending. There's always got to be a jubis 69. But what I like about that jingle is that you do jingles with phone numbers

to make them more memorable. Yes. I don't think anyone's remembering that. Well, they remember the last two numbers. 69. That explains why they're not getting in touch. Yeah, to me it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. Frank, we've got a guest to hear.

I'm very fond of. Yeah, more of that piece, Frank, actually. More 69 content. It started very well because Chloe just before we began, Chloe said to us, you know, I think you're much better doing the podcast than you are doing the radio show. I do.

So that was positive. Yeah, but I said to her, you're like one of those friends that says, yeah, you carry on drinking, girl. You stay out late. Yeah, I'm overly positive. I will accept that. But I do also think that, hey, we wouldn't have started on a 69 if you're on the radio.

No, exactly. We very rarely did that, Frank. Freedom. Yeah. You can say whatever you like. It's, like, probably isn't true, but I know what you mean. Yeah. No, it's true.

It's like when they moved the elephants from London Zoo to Whipsnade, and they took them out of that building and put them in a much bigger. enclosure. They can roam free and snort. Their souls could sing openly. Yeah, I think one... Are you laughing, Chloe? Yeah, a little bit. At the elephant's soul?

No, I just think this happens. Right, I'll say two things. When I was walking in today to come and do this podcast with you, in my brain, I went, I wonder how long it would take for Frank to sing. It was, I'm going to say it, 0.5 seconds. And then oftentimes what happens when you start a sentence, Frank, is I think, I have absolutely no idea how this is going to work. The tragic is so do I.

That's the same for me. That's the joy of getting old. A lot of it is like listening to someone else talking. You just gasp at the end of your sentences. Exactly. I think few sentences is great adventures. Yeah, and that's why we love him. Well, also Chloe said to me, do we wear headphones?

And I realise it's never really struck me before that I always wear headphones because it's just good to remember that I'm still getting work. And that's what I like. Otherwise, I'm sitting in a pub with three people just chatting, which I suppose, you know, it's like last of the summer wine. Frank, you know that no one's listening to this anymore.

This is all just a big ruse to keep you saying. But that's sweet of you. Thanks for joining it. It's like the bit in Shutter Island where we're just sort of everyone's colluding to try and keep you mentally well. I don't know what Shottor? Oh, it's Leonardo at his finest.

Shorter Island. How do you spell Shota? S-H-U-T-E-R. Is it Christopher Nolan? I believe. No. Scorsese. Someone find out who it is.

I don't think it's a Scorsese, but it might be Nolan. But it's great. It's one of those where it was the first time I ever saw a twist in a film when I was like... You mean the chocolate bar? Yeah. What is that? What's a twist? There is a thing called a twist.

Isn't it a twister? Bat me up. Maybe it's a twirl. It is Scorsese, by the way. We've had confirmation. Oh, it was Scorsese. I'm so sorry. Oh, we've got a filmmaker on the team.

Yeah. Frank, don't try and make us sound posher than we are. Yeah, Jenny, our assistant producer is a filmmaker. Wow. Yeah. You know, filmmaker like, I think it's one word, Jenny? I think so. Yeah.

She's an altar. So is she going to do something like Chris Nolan with the podcast, which is when it goes out, it will be played backwards? Yeah. That'll be an accident if that happens. We've probably had that before now. Yeah, so anyway, Chloe, it's not... I don't know if you're aware, Chloe,

but you and I are working together next week. I am aware. Are you? On what, darlings? Well, that's a very good question. Because it's an improvised show. Yeah. Called crowd work.

I'm doing one tonight. I'm doing the first one tonight. night. All right, I'll drop your text and see how it is. See if it's worth my time turning up next week. Yeah, exactly. Well, it'll be good if you can turn up. Otherwise, we'll just send you a check. Perfect. When's the last time anyone did that? Sent me a check? Actually, that's a great question. When was the last check you received? I think the last check I received was from the BBC.

Oh, okay. Just when I first started, they would still doing some checks. Right. Oh, I didn't know what to do with her. That's probably because you were the only person. working there who wasn't limited company as far as the inland revenue was concerned. So is crowd work, is it a podcast or a radio? No, it's a live show. It's at Lester Square Theatre.

I mean, I'm hoping it's sold out, but I've no idea. So at Lester Square Theatre. So I'm doing, and it's on Wednesday the 14th and Wednesday the 21st. And then there's a third one, which I was also going to do, but my son is playing piano at the school concert, so I'm doing that. Oh, good on him. That's amazing.

Can I come? I'll see if I'm working out. You only get too automatic, but I can put you in the ballot. Oh, yes. So that's all good. We had a very interesting... I'd just like to keep the listeners,

O-Fay, with what's happened, what they missed. And our filmmaker, awesome, as we like to call her. We don't call her that, Chloe, you think. We don't call her that. Was telling us a great...

A bit of great. Was it your mom's dog? My grandma. Her grandma's dog was a Dalmatian and was called Silla. Yeah. And I think, and I'm giving Jenny's grandma a lot of credit here. Yeah. Silla Black.

Yeah. Her real name, you're familiar with Silla Black. Silla White. Her real name was Priscilla White. So I wonder. if she chose a name which had black and white references because it was a Dalmatian. Silla black and white spots is a whole name name?

Is your ground still around? No, but she doesn't say... We can't hear her from here. No. What? It was after Silla Black, but she probably would have known she was still like. I like after Silla Black. That's like the school of Rodan.

Interregnum. Yes, and this painting is after Silla Black. But then she went on. to tell us that the Dalmatian was found by the police and was sat up front in the police car in the front seat. So they was looking for their last dog and a police car pulled up at the lights and there was a Dalmatian in the front seat. That's really funny.

Would it go viral now? Were they turning it into like a drugs dog? Don't keep bringing her in. She hasn't got a microphone. Also, can you not call them drugs dog? They're actually called Sniff at dog. Okay. What is that hill that you're wanting to do?

I don't know because it makes the dog sound a little bit dodgy. Right. Drugs dog. I know, but Sliffer Dog is like saying, oh, you know those people who breathe. Every dog, my dog, imagine life that you see. You know, when you're walking on the street, that's a nice painting. You never go and smell it. I've never smelled a painting in a gallery in my life.

Whereas my dog, that's how it operates as the wall dog. They're all sniffed dogs. Well, the best ones are cadaver dogs, which I'm huge fans of. Do, do, do, do do do. Do, do do. Everybody. Cadver dogs. I mean, you're making it sound much cheery than it is.

Yeah, well, I think when you work in that business, you have to find what light you can. What's a cadaver dog? They search for cadavers. So they can actually sniff. I've seen a lot of documentaries on this. Documentaries. Thank you. Yeah, very good.

I've watched that strand. And so they'll go into a car. I saw one where there was a murder suspect. They said, no, I don't know what you're talking about, was their alibi. The cadaver dog went into the boot of the car and could smell that a body had been there whatever time previously, a day previously. But then how did the dog communicate that? Because they have signs with the dog.

They have a big, like, alpha. That does work with dogs. The dog scratches individual letters. Yes, that does happen. some dogs. Not cadaver dogs, but some dogs do do that. It's nice to know that we have the authority on the degrees of sniffer. I've got to say I'm not believing the dog scratch the... Oh, have you not seen their book on it? Have you not seen? No, they have buttons they press.

Have you not seen them? I have seen those online people. Yeah, it's amazing. I've seen, you know, I've seen flying sources on telly, but I'm not saying that they were real. We'll have to show you. It's pretty amazing. Okay. That's brilliant. Anyway, how's your life been, Chloe? What you've been up to? My life's been all right. I spent five weeks in Australia. And I did absolutely nothing, which I haven't done for a very long time.

And it was, I'm going to say it, divine. Yeah. Yeah. And I know that's like incredibly privileged to be able to take five weeks off and go to Australia, but we do work in a sort of feast or famine job. Yes.

I thought you were going to say, I was at a festival or something. I didn't think you meant you just went. Just went. Because my partner lives there. Yeah. So... Oh, that's handy, isn't it?

Oh, it's good. I can always be somewhere hot. But also, it means if your partner lives that far away, you have the freedom of the podcast. But if you want the tight format of the radio show, you can go out and spend time with them. Yeah, yeah, I've got the best of both worlds. Yeah, exactly.

I get to say 69 sometimes and sometimes I don't. Yeah, you go from the enclosure to the elephant house, whenever you feel like it. Yeah, I think maybe the best of both. World's is the way to do it. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. So we, yeah, so I went over and I was thinking, oh, should I get a work feeated so I can do a bit of work over there? And then I thought, absolutely not. So legally I had to rest. All right. It's good over there. Have you been? Yeah, I used to live there.

In Melbourne. And I was a child. Oh, no, Sydney, sorry, the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Frank, like you like it, don't you? Yeah, I did the Melbourne Festival, which I think was five weeks. It's, really. It's, three and a half, but maybe it was five. I was there either side of it. Yeah. Yeah, I was there for. I loved it. I really loved it.

It's so good. I think it's the best city maybe in the world. I mean, I haven't been to all of them, but it's certainly my favourite one. How many have you been to? Do you want me to list them? Because I will. She will. Can I tell you? What I want to hear is you going,

let me say one. Let's start UK, London, Liverpool, Manchester. Oh, no, okay. I think I've got it. Also, there's lots of cities that you don't think are cities at all. Go on. There's ones like Exeter and stuff like that.

Yeah? Would you probably been to? I've been. You've got the classic combination. If you're a football fan and a stand-up comedian, you will eventually cover all territory in Great Britain. If you support a team in the lower leagues, which I know you don't, then you go to places.

When you talk to people in London and say I was in Leeds, they often have never been there. Really? Yeah, they've been to Maldives. They've been to Sydney or something. Have you been to Leeds? I have, yeah. Have you been to Bolton?

No. Have I been to Bolton? It's a tough question for me to answer. I'm going to be straight with you. I think I've been to Bolton once. Have you got your passport? No, but I would like to call this podcast, have I been to Bolton? You're more than welcome to.

Can I type into my Google Calendar to see whether I've been to Bolton? Shall I tell you in the meantime the most Australian thing I ever heard? Yeah, and then I'll tell you the most Australian thing I ever heard. Okay. Well, let's skip Bolton and just stick to the most Australian things. I went to Bolton on July the 12th, 2024. Tremendous. What?

All right. He's not a policeman. That's just record keeping. It's not on 24 hours in police custody. I should tell our listeners that Chloe took out an enormous dusty register from her back with that in. The worst part is, is Bolton is so unmemorable that I literally went six months ago and I forgot. Oh. Can I tell you the most Australian thing I ever heard?

And then you must. You can tell me. Okay, Frank knows this, I think. I was watching an early reality show called Solvania Waters. Sylvania Waters, I think it was called. Have you watched every bit of telly that's ever existed? Yes, I have. I absolutely have.

And... Sylvania Waters sounds like an attractive young American actress. Yeah, it has. In Mail Online. A picture of... Sylvania Waters shows her a fabulous body in a bikini and blah, blah, blah. And she shows him what he's missing, doesn't she? Her ex.

And it was in Melbourne. And the dad came in and they were chain smoking all day. It was fantastic. And the dad came in one day and said, is there any good reason why the television isn't on? He was complaining. Oh, my God. The children weren't watching TV.

Yeah. That's like a sort of dad coming in and going like, is there any reason why the big light isn't on? That's crazy. Okay, yours? Well, so most things I can understand when an Australian says them to me, but this one went past me.

So I was at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, and because we're on a podcast, I'm now able to tell this story. If we're on the radio, you wouldn't be getting it. Fair enough. We wanted to take some interesting powders in a bathroom. Okay, so do you understand what I mean by that? I think so, yeah.

I mean, I'm thinking beachrooms. Yeah, I'm thinking paint. Yeah, I wanted to do a couple of lines of beechams and paint. And so we went into the bathroom, And then my friend who's incredibly Australian turned round and went, oh, mate, out of here, there's Sikis in the Dunny. And I went, what are you talking about?

She, when you've got to get out of here, there's Sikis in the dany. Someone have been sick in the toilet? Sackys. Secretaries are in the toilet. Yeah, there were secretaries in the toilet. Yeah, there was someone with one of them. What did he just say, he picks up on typing,

the sound of typing. Yeah, there was just some type, someone typing, taking minutes of what was going on in the toilet. They had an interesting shorthand for some farts. Security guards in the toilet. Oh. Yeah. So we had to turn around.

Oh, they love shortening things, don't they? But like, you have to... You can only shorten something if, like, there's only one word that it could be. Do you know what I mean? Because I was going and thinking their secretaries in the don't it? But they weren't. Yeah. There could have been all sorts of things to begin with seconds.

You know, like at school dinners. Yeah. In the toilet. They end up in the... toilet eventually that's life that's the circle the circle of life i don't remember that in the disney film the school did where someone vomited the school dinners up section no not necessarily vomit it might have been the full process oh you're right nevertheless i don't remember that yeah i think that i was always very confused by the first time i went to australia is that

I went and bought a cheese sandwich. And the woman behind the counter said, do you want tasty cheese? And I said, no, I'll just have that bland. You know, that sort of bland, like Robert. Do dog sniff? What do you want from me? And apparently, tasty cheese is like a slightly stronger, more flavoursome.

Is that right? The trouble is, once you've called it tasty, you have dissed every other type of cheese that exists. I did you have the tasty cheese? I had the toasty cheese. You're lured in, aren't you? You're by tasty. Was there anything else in the cheese sandwich?

Bread. Oh yeah. Did you see any Australian animals while you're out there? Not on this. Oh, I did see an awful thing. So I went to Sydney for a week because that's where my partner's originally from. And we went to a place called Talamara,

which is where her brother lives. And they have like this beautiful house and like a lovely garden. And the dog, which is like a sort of very cute poodle cross, went out into the garden and then it did that thing where like its ears go up and then it like jumps up and down on its paws because it's got startled. And I'm thinking, oh, the dog's startled. Like there must be something out there. And I look and there's a huntsman.

Oh, no. And I'm thinking that's not a way a huntsman moves. And what would happen? They're not poisonous huntsman, are they? But wait for it. Oh, God. This massive wasp, such a huge wasp had paralyzed the huntsman

and then was dragging it across the patio back to its lair. And I was like, I thought that all I needed to be scared of was was scared of big wasps that kill huntsman. Yeah. It was one of the worst things I've ever seen. I once saw a spider. I don't know what kind of spider it was. But it was in there, it was sitting on a web,

and it caught a wasp. And, of course, it just felt the throbbing and thought, well, this, you know, it's dinner time. Oh, gosh. And it went over and the wasp stung, this like fat-ass spider. And the spider's legs started stretching and contracted and stretching. As the wasp's ass pumped poison into... Oh, that. That's disgusting.

Where was that? What was it? Where was that? That was in Smetnik. But like, how did that? They weren't exotic. It sounds a bit exotic for Smethy. That's amazing.

That was a was a wasp and a spider. But you must have been like, were you just walking past? No, no, it was, the web was sort of on our wall. The wall of, actually, it might not have been my house. It might have been a neighbour's house. Frankly, you're so working class that you didn't have a television. You just had a spider's house. No, no, we did have a television.

We had a television. They did have a TV. I know they actually did have a TV. That should be placed on record. Thank you, darling, for supporting me. I was so patronising. I'm so sorry. No, because I remember they watched the moon landings.

That is true. That is true. We did watch that. And my brother-in-law used to say that I used to wear a cowboy outfit, like, all the time. Yeah. And play a plastic Beatles guitar, but I didn't really play. It wasn't really, it was like a toy thing. And sing.

I used to sing mainly Elvis songs, but, you know, chuckingly on Billy Fury, Johnny Ray. And I would do that if anyone came to the house, I'd do, oh, you know, 20 minutes. Yeah. And give them what they want. Yeah, exactly. And my brother-in-law said he was talking to my dad about football.

And he said, is he going to be a football? And he said, now he's going to be on this. and he tapped our nine-inch black and white television. And what he forgot to mention, he'll be on this for about 15 years and then he'll never be on it again. He left that bit out. It was an inaccurate proposition.

Well, it was less inaccurate, incomplete, let's work at that way. And then he said, but the thing is, he'll always have the headphones. Yeah, exactly. Because he'll be provided with them. Exactly. I think 15 years is a good run, Frank. Oh, yeah, exactly.

I think it's not like you're never going to be on telly again. No, when I die, I'll be on the news. I'll be on the news. I think you'll find I will. I don't know if I'm big enough. I'll be on local news. You'll be on the news, for sure. You'll get the bongs.

I'm excited for you to be on the Royal Variety show and for my parents to be watching it and go, I didn't realize he was dead. Yeah, exactly. You're excited. You're excited. I'm fighting for that. I'm actually really excited for that. It used to be the people who died.

There was a time you couldn't get an English newspaper on holiday, So when you watch that thing, it was the people who died while you were on holiday that you completely miss. Any summer deaths could be quite a shock at something like the Royal Variety or wherever they did those things. Speaking of the Wild West, by the way, I went to see a high noon. My parents also went to see it this week. What did you go with them? Have you been in the WhatsApp again without me? Yeah, I just, look, I take.

Is this a new production? Dave and Val. Yeah, it's Dave and Val. It's not the original film. No, no, it's a stage version. Oh, a stage virgin. Oh, lovely. Was it lovely? With Billy Crudup. Yeah, I'm familiar with this work.

From the morning show, is that the one? I don't, I must have been, I didn't know him, but he was great. Well, of course I know. He played Will Kane, which was the whole Gary Cooper thing. If you don't know High Noon, guys listening, it's a classic black and white western about man gets married, gives up his marshals badge and says, I'm just going to be a shopkeeper now,

I've done all my marshalling. And then they said the thing is Frank Miller has been pardoned and he's coming to town looking for revenge. And it's whether you can legitimately go, because you're not the marshal anymore, or whether you've got to stand and fight. And it's not Grace Kelly, is it? Who's the lady?

It is Grace Kelly as the wife, yeah. Oh, God. Do you think it's worth going to see? Oh, I loved it. I love Westerns. Like I said, when I was, up until I was about 11, I would say I wore a cowboy outfit. Maybe I'd have a day, two off a week, but five days a week. That's amazing. So adorable. I love to see. I love that. The hat, the gone, the whole stuff. And did you have the bath mat chaps? I had, I didn't ever had chaps, I don't think.

But, you know, I often wish I'd tried it. Do you feel aspirational about chaps? One day you'll get a pair of chaps. Well, I have worn chaps actually on a ranch. Oh. With, I mean, with jeans, not like you see them in magazines. Not like Tom of Finland. No, not like Tom of Finland.

I love Tom of Finland. I know he loves to. I don't know who Tom of Finland is. I'm sorry. Do you want to explain? It's gay, male gay art. And it's lots of, there's not all those cowboys are sailing. There's motorway cops.

Oh, we don't need the full list. No. But they're fabulously drawn. Oh, it's art. It's beautiful art. Oh, great. And they've all got, their penises are honestly like they've got them from subway. They're enormous stretching their jeans.

And like the things I didn't expect you to say. This is when they're in their jeans, which isn't every picture. As in the sandwich shop? Yes. As in they've got their penises from the sandwich shop. No, they are the same size. Oh, you meant that they were just like, they put them in an Italian and herb roll and then said,

what salad do you want? I haven't seen every picture he did. That might have happened. It's sounding like you might have. Herbal sex. Anyway, why is high noon? What does that mean? Is there a low noon?

High noon? Oh, I see. Well, I don't know. I couldn't even begin to speculate it. I always assumed it was a pun and high noon. meant something like, you know. They wouldn't have a pun. That film's so, like, heavy with tension and...

It's a bit pure. Seriousness. High noon. On the stage, and I would like that, I would love this if they did it with every play, every stage and every stand-up show. Yeah. At a massive fucking clock, just hanging down.

And the whole thing was played in sort of real time. So you started out 12? Oh, that's fun, that. Yeah. Oh, no. No, no, because 12's when he arrived. So when do you start? So the whole thing was about, I think you started about 10, 15. Right.

Because it's, the play was. Oh, that's quite exciting having a clock running. The play was a couple of hours. And Frank Miller, the bad guy's train, gets in at midday. Oh, I know. But also, just great thinking, I don't have to keep, you know, use the, I'm looking at my watch. You don't want to be seen to look at your watch. Yeah.

I think it's also good because I'm doing my Soho Theatre run at the moment and my challenge every day is to keep the first flash of an Apple watch till like post 40 minutes of the show. Because we've all been there where you're really enjoying a show but you do think, I'm just going to have a little look how long I've got left. And then the Apple Watch flips up and you're, ah, someone's checked their watch, you know. So I think if I had it behind, then Apple Watch is redundant. You see, I have, when I'm on tour, I have an actual digital clock that sits in front of the monitor,

so I can actually keep an eye on the time without having to look at anything. But like tonight, doing this improvised thing that you're doing next week, I think there's three of us doing it, and you start off, you do five minutes of just messing about with the crowd, and then a claxon goes, and you leave, and the next person, comes on. So are we competing with each other to talk to the crowds at the nicest? I don't think we're competing.

Well, let's face it, we're always competing if we're comedians. It's the idea that you just do crowdwork then and no material... Yes, that's the idea. No material allowed. But I think that's quite nice because, like, you know,

a claxon goes, and if you're mid-conversation with, I don't know, a nurse and you're asking, you know, what's the weirdest thing you've seen up someone's bottom in A&E? and then I come in and I get to go, was it a Buzz Light year? Yeah. That's, I think that's lovely.

Yeah, for that moment of transition. Yeah. Obviously what I'll do is I'll take them somewhere as obscure and difficult. No, I won't. No, no, no. I'll be trying to get out of it because you've done one of your anecdotes. Yes. One of your little anecdotes.

One of your little anecdotes where I don't understand any of the references. Exactly. Okay, yeah, I can do a bit on Tom from Finland, yeah. I've got this. You can now. You can. Now. Look.

This is your fucking culture, Chloe. Tom from Finland? Yeah. No, no, not gay men. Not gay men with a penis in a subway roll. Sounds like it's more your culture. If you broaden it, it's a gay culture and stop being so sexist about it. I am sexist, I will admit that.

I wonder if there is. Is there a female equivalent of Tom? Tina from Sweden? Yeah. I've never. I've never, because you'd think that's what men would fight, you know, men would say, oh yeah, you know, lesbian art. But I've never heard of that.

We're all looking at these giant penises and thinking, you know, maybe I should have tried this. Oh, my God. Anyway, my point is the film as dominated by this song, Do not forsake me, oh, my darling, on this our wedding day. in which he asks his wife not to leave and to stay with him when he shoots Frank Miller or gets shot by him. It's a big ask if you...

It is a busy... In fact, John Wayne fucking hated High Noon. He turned the part down and he said... This is a quote. He said, it's the most un-American thing I've ever seen in my whole life. What was his argument for that? Well, first of all,

he's got a conscience of the guy. Why would you ask your wife to stay if you were going to fight Frank Miller? You'd tell your wife to go to safety, to go elsewhere. I thought you're going to say to Sainsbury's. Yeah, or to Sainsbury's. If your idea was to play it so confident when you thought Frank Miller,

would you say, can you get me a poke bowl for after? Yeah. Because Frankie Miller will eat a fucking prokely bowl at Pokemon. I get the impression that John Wayne was possibly quite into the trad wife conceit though. Oh, yes.

He's into trad everything. His other thing was that to suggest that the towns, because he goes around saying, well, you've been my deputy and they go, um, I'm a bit busy this afternoon. 12 o'clock don't if I can do that. They're all shit in themselves because Frank Miller's coming.

Yeah. And he says that wouldn't have, that's anti-American that. In an American town, people would be queuing up to help you. I love the self. John Wayne. I'll hear stories about him at the Oscars

going around calling everyone commies backstage. I mean, I love John Wayne's films, but yeah, he was... Politically, not so much. He was a difficult man. So who was the lead in the film of High Noon? Gary Cooper, do you know him? Gary Cooper...

If you read anything about Hollywood, there's all these, like, handsome heroes. But he is the one that the women say when you read about like women stars or women who worked in Hollywood there was a lot of handsome men but there was something about Gary Cooper that made, he was the number one

and it was, they all talk about his charm and he's, you know, and all that stuff. So yeah, he was. But was he good looking as well? Well, he was good looking but not like, you know. I found him so. Okay, found him. Anyway, she's spoken.

So there's music. There's music in this play, but it's like Bruce fucking Springsteen. You kid. They sing. Born in the USA? No, no, happily not that. That's the song I've never heard without laughing. I don't know what.

He laughs at it. I laugh at. Is it born to... Born to Ron. Born to Ron. You laugh at that one? We were born. I think, yeah.

I think that's one of the best songs ever written. It doesn't mean it, isn't it? It isn't it. It isn't. I mean, it isn't a good song, it's just hilarious. There's something about it's taking it's so serious. It's very extra. What does that mean?

Oh, okay, well, this is Tom from Finland culture. Or maybe it's just young people's culture. I know extra. Yeah, all very good. Do you want to explain it? No, you explain it. So, like, extra is when you're doing a little bit too much. Okay.

So you describe someone as a bit extra as well. Oh my God, they're being so extra. Yeah. They're just being a bit O-T-E-D. I get there. Yeah. I get that. You're going to start using that?

I might do. I'll see if I can get it in. I think it would sound lovely. Or you might say about a friend, it's a personality type. You might say, I'm not saying he is, but for example, David Badeal, he's a bit extra.

He's not a bit extra, but I'm just saying... Bruce Springsteen is a bit extra. Bruce Springsteen is 100% a bit extra. Yeah. 100%. He's so extra. But my problem was the opposite because I really wanted

someone to sing, do not foresee me. I mean, it's got some of the best. There's one of the lines in it, which is, and I wrote this down, so I get it right, they mess about with the lyrics a bit because he's supposed to sound

like a cowboy singing. And he says, oh, to be torn, twinst, love and duty. Tweensed. Yeah, you don't hear that often in a song. Tweensed. I've never heard it in any of the song.

I've never heard it in any day. Spohs. Never heard of Paul. Yeah. Twinsed. Tweet. But tween. Yeah.

But where's the Tz? Twixt. Like, betwixt. Anyway, they didn't. I saw the SpongeBob movie recently. Yeah. No, that's a good double bill. High noon and the SpongeBob movie.

What else did you have for that? Because they didn't sing. He lives in a pineapple under the sea. SpongeBob Square. They didn't sing that. Not even at the beginning? No. You're kidding me.

Do you know who wrote that, by the way? No. Good quiz question. I've seen him do it live. No. Corey Taylor, the lead singer from Slipknot, wrote the SpongeBob song. And he sang it, you've seen him sing it like?

Yeah, he sang it whilst giving the finger to the audience, who'd asked for it. He did the finger throughout, but sang it. I think SpongeBob Square Pants is absolutely genius. Yeah, it's brilliant. It's really good. But they didn't have the song. I missed the song.

song. Yeah, that's not good. They didn't even play at the end? No? Well, okay. I mean, it's like me and David Boudillo went to the Moulin Rouge in Paris and they didn't do the Canccan. A bit creepy.

They didn't do the Can Can Can? All the Spong Can't. What do they do instead of the Cancun? They just, you know, so I don't know. They did the Cancun. It's actually, it's a terrible, like, Naf working men's club cabaret is what you get at the Moulon Rouge. Yeah.

It's just got this. glamour from when Toulouse LaTrek used to sit in there, sketching. Frank, may I share something before we leave? Because we normally do share some reader correspondence. Oh, yeah. It's very brief. It's just something Mrs. B... What if we start with it next week?

We will. We could even discuss this offer. No, we can do this one now. It's very quick. But next week we'll throw the spotlight on our listeners. This is from Mrs. B from Bath. Mrs. Beaton, would that be the writer at the cook? No, that's her initial, is just B. Mrs. B from Bath. I like her.

Dear Frank, it's the lady who still reads newspapers here. And when she'd written in, Frank had said, who still reads. My mother-in-law said, I was going to church and she said, well, you pick up the Sunday Times on the white back. And I said, that's the next thing. She handed her an eye back. Yeah. Anyway.

And there's no paywall. You can just open the page, because it's all accessible. She's trying to zoom in on the pages using her two minutes. Mrs. Bee got in touch to say she does indeed read physical newspapers. And Mrs. Bee also adds, you recently said nobody got their milk delivered anymore. You know what I'm about to say. My milkman is called Colin, Mrs. B from Bath. Well, I don't know how old Mrs. B is, but what's great is that we'll know when she's died

because there'll be six points of milk on the same. Oh, my God. I mean, why would you alienate listeners like you? I'm not alienated. We've talked about my death in this very podcast. Whether I'll actually get on the news. No, I think, is the answer to that. You'll get on the news.

BBC website. You'll be on the box. You'll get a bong. I think you'll get a bong. No, I won't get a bong. Really? What's a bong? You know, bong.

The comedian. Frankskinner. Found dead. Seven pikes of milk outside is held. Seven pints of milk outside is held. I've gone plant-based. Yeah. It'd have to be cartons.

Seven... Seven cartons of oat. Tetrapak oat. Seven cartons of yew, yeah. The grey misery of oatly outside his house. Thus representing his demise. And finally,

David Bediel has won an Oscar. For his new film on The Life of Golda, It's for his new film, it's a biopic of Frank Skinner. They got him to play Frank Skinner because he did it better than Frank himself. Yeah, David Badele ask Frank Skinner. Wow.

I'd pay to see that. I'd pay to see Badeo in a cowboy costume. Yeah, I'm not having him playing Catholic face. Oh, my God. It's a Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going.

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at avalonuK.com.