The Frank Skinner Show - HMV Bargain Basket

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

It’s Frank’s last Edinburgh recording for 2026. He’s joined by Katie Norris and John Kearns. John can’t eat Lamb Bhuna, Frank’s in the HMV Bargain Basket, and Katie’s got some sexy gossip. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eligible customers get up to $5,000 with the federal EVAP rebate on select 2027-volt and 26 Equinox EV models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Once I was afraid I was petrified. I never thought that I was. could live without you by my side.

That, I think, was a post-conjoined twins quote. Anyway, this is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by John Kearns and Katie Norris. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Offerradio at Avalonuk.com. You can WhatsApp us on... Wow. Was that the military wives choir?

Yeah, at once. Gorge. Again, that's supposed to have like words and stuff on it. There's something. I did it a bit. Yeah, yeah. We're getting there. If we did 12 podcasts together, by 12, that would be clear as a bell.

But, you know, the producer said to me, if it goes wrong again, I'll edit that out. but I like it in. I'm going to ask, is that AI? Well, I don't know. I don't know. Someone said, you know, a lot of those jingles are AI,

but I don't know what that really means. Yeah. So I went, nah. And sort of pointed at them a bit. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, does it matter if it sounds nice? No.

Well, yes. I think it doesn't. Well, yeah, I think the problem is it doesn't. No, no, it doesn't. Well, then that's great. That's the blow against AI that analog people everywhere wanted to hear. There are a few shows up in Edinburgh this year written by AI. Really?

Yeah, there's a couple. It's quite a big thing. And my AI wrote my show. Oh, I've seen that. I thought that was a joke. No, I think people are doing it. Garrett Millerick's doing this. Yeah, yeah.

He's put all of his outputs, so specials, podcasts. He's built an AI, right? Of himself. and it's sort of right he does a show alongside it and then the audience uh manipulate it as well but they ask him yeah like yeah they ask him and apparently it's quite uncanny to like that by the way that that that beat was my next joke coming in your next joke from chat GPT that's oh i don't know what i do a sitcom on radio for written by garrett yeah which i did with you I did one episode with you.

Yes. And starring him, does that mean that could be AI next time round? No, I don't think he's. I think it's more, it's a... Were you saying no at the idea of next time round? What, that you're not going to be on it? No, there just won't be another one. That's what I was getting.

Do you think that's written by AI? No. No, it's just the live experiment, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, it's all right saying it's a live experiment. It's easier than write in an hour. That's all I'm saying.

Well, we'll see. I didn't know that. Well, I'm not going to go and see that. All right? Yeah, he can email me. I'm surprised he hasn't. Yeah. I'm a bit frightened of him, actually.

He's the sweetest man. He's very more, he's, I've grown more and more testosterone intolerant as I get older. And he's, you know, he's, you know, he's. He talks about going to see Oasis and like in space. These are tough topics for me. But this is maybe what you are faced with maybe when you meet people because people remember you as... Yeah, exactly.

You know, not his lad culture. Exactly. Now you're a poet. I'm in the pigeonhole. With a freedom pass. Yeah, exactly. And a Lamborghini. Well, I did, I was lying about the Lamborghini.

I'll be honest with it. It was actually a. Bamboon. I can't eat I can't eat curried In a curry house, can't have lamb. Yeah, right. It sends me do lally.

Like, I'm up three in the morning like I've had like crystal meth. I don't know what it is. Really? Yeah. And so a couple of nights ago, I think, well, every year I kind of think, nah, I'll be all right.

And you risk lamb? And is it something to do with the curry? element or is it? Well, I've looked it up. Apparently it's the high fat content of lamb and maybe the spices, but it sends me crazy. Wow. I was in, uh, sorry, did I cut you off? When I saw you hovering, wanted a coaster. I thought I'll keep going with my lamb store. Yeah, well, I asked for someone to, I just, if I don't have someone under this cop every now and again, that's going to happen. Right, right, right. So I'm just trying. Sorry, John, if I put you on. Please continue.

Lamb. It's quite a good skill, actually, to try and tell a boring story whilst in your peripheral vision, a man is hovering a mug trying to find a... I'm sorry. I said I was sorry. What else do you want?

Trying to find a coaster. I spent half my life looking for a coaster. I am unable to put a hop cop on a table, no matter how shabby that table might be. It feels like vandalism. Does it? I can't. If there was a coaster here, I would still put it there.

No, people do that. I got a coffee table. I got a coffee table. And the greater part of it is tiled for this very reason. People still put the cops on the fucking little bit of wooden ledge around the end to burn that. It's because the coasters look like they're like an ornament. And you wouldn't just put it on. They look like they're not supposed to have anything on them.

I'm like Captain America. People are putting stuff down. I'm skimming coasters like my shield on. trying to get them onto the cop before they hit the surface. It's an obsession. Anyway, I was in a curry house in Edinburgh with my wife and my son and the lovely eggs. It was my favourite band. And my wife had a salad in there, and she suddenly started going,

I said, oh my God, try that, chilly. And I said, no. And she said, just try it. Try that chili. Well, everything was telling me not to because she was like crying. And I said, she said just, and I had like a little, she said, no, you have to eat that whole thing in one go. And I said, no, I don't want to do it. And I don't often define my wife.

But she was like, oh. So I had a tiny bit of it. Oh, my God. It's without doubt the hottest thing I've ever had in my life. was really vile. So I was drinking water and all that stuff to try and get rid of it.

And I'd only had like a sixth of what she'd eaten. And then I said to her, why, having experienced that, why would you want me to have the same experience? You know, I'm your husband. You love me. She loves you, yeah. Yeah.

But you wanted me to have the same terrible. experience and you kept saying no no it's got to be the whole thing you want to go and she's like hot wings she said to me i needed you to know that i wasn't exaggerating yeah but that's not good enough is is it and i said if there was a big dog down by the toilet in this place that savaged me and i came up and said that oh god i'm in a real mess go down to the toilet now and she said that's a stupid uh analogy and one of the lovely eggs said i think that's a really really good good, really good way of expressing what happened, which didn't. Yeah, you wouldn't want to die, would you, in a sort of having the hottest chili?

But don't you think that was an unkind thing to do to me? The thing is, I imagine you're not laughing at your wife in this moment. No. But I imagine she's laughing at you when you tasted. Well, she was in such a state. I don't think she could laugh. I mean, it had really, it was phenomenal. Which is it?

What is this thing? It's called something like Phailu. Okay. And it won't be that. But most of my proper nouns are approximate nowadays. And the waiter came over. And she said, would you eat that chili? There was another one left that she was threatening people with.

And he said, yeah, I'd eat it. She said, go on then. He said, well, I wouldn't, you know, I'd have to eat it with food. I mean, clearly he knew. This is pasta out of the hot restaurant. Everyone has to try. But it wasn't. It had no flavour to it.

It was like putting a lighted match in your mouth. It was, it was violent. As you say, it's like hot ones. In a salad? In a salad. So it hadn't even been cooked or, you know, nothing had been taken from it. It was raw.

This should be like the British version of hot ones, yeah. Have you seen hot ones? Yeah, I've seen clips. It's great. You sat in a korehouse. I do. Eating chilies. someone.

Yeah, I'd do hot ones, would you? Yeah, I would do hot ones, definitely, yeah. The bald guy with the wings? Yeah. Yeah, I'd do that. No, I think, I think that's X-Men. We'd do stars and her eyes, we'd do hot ones. Um, in case you haven't seen it, a celebrity sits and they,

they have chicken or, all vegan things with, um, ever hotter sources on them. And you watch them cry. And there was one the other day, and honestly a strand of snort came from his nose, which was eight to ten inches long, having eaten this hot thing. And I think that's great to see celebrities like that.

A big thing is how the beautiful people still look beautiful, eating it, though. Yeah, Cape Blanchet, even as she reddened, still look great. Yeah. Yeah, Penelopee Cruz looked sort of... Siddy Sweeney went kind of viral because it was like, people like, yeah, I'll watch that.

Mm. I heard her boobs actually got bigger. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't look. You could sell that sauce. Yeah. Yeah.

So, um, are you guys, are you guys up here? What? I don't know where you went, But you were thinking I felt you were thinking you could sell that sort of No I have moments where I just go

somewhere else completely forgive me I was actually on the steps of the Winter Palace with my hemophiliate child just for a few seconds and then I was back I don't know what that is I've had that a few times just lately the Winter Palace flashback

What in the the winter palace in yeah no the winter palace in Moscow oh is there a winter palace in Blackpool that's one in Margate is it

I don't know I thought it was a gig I thought you're imagining doing a gig I was like fair enough yeah yeah Moscow I often do imagine that I uh

didn't I ask how your Edinburgh was that's what I want to know I think that's what you have. Me, no, you didn't ask me. My Edinburgh's phone. I'm doing a show that I started touring in February. So it's really sorted. This luxurious feeling, if I'm honest.

Knowing the show. Does anything change in the show while you're up here? Is it still developing? Or have you said, no, that's it? Any other good ideas are going in the next show? Well, obviously, you've got to get it down to an hour. Hmm. So you...

What is it? On tour? This is a question that means a lot to me. How long is it on tour? It's 70 minutes. Okay. See, that's my dream. 70 minutes. My audience would... I thought I'm going to be judged it. No, no, my audience won't take 70. My dream would be 55. You do 55? Yeah, I'm out of there. That's fantastic. What do you... Stop my joke. They want an hour and a half. They want an hour and a half's too long, isn't it? It was way too long. I saw Michael McIntyre when he was did his first show with the mandrao and all that.

And I thought this is, I don't know what you guys think. I thought it was a brilliant, brilliant, observational stand-up show. I saw the show. The second half was extraordinary. But an hour and ten minutes in, and this is no reflection on him, because I love the show.

I thought, I wish it would stop now, though. If it stopped now, this is the best night of comedy ever. And he did what, you know, what you feel you have to do. And I think audiences, my audience, would think, fucking hell, hour and 10 minutes. I want me money back.

What's happened to me? Yeah, be that. Is it the option? Because I've not done a big, I've not done a big tour yet or anything, but I know tour support is obviously a big thing. So would you do an hour and a half,

as opposed to doing an hour and getting tall support? Because it has to be an interval. Well, I have a support, and I do about an hour and 25. Oh, God, help us. I know. I know, do you think I want you to look at me like,

I want to do that? I'm trapped. Do you understand? God. I'm trapped. Even plays are like in Edinburgh an hour long and I'm like An hour's

Oh God it's plenty Yeah But you know The thing with it I'd love to the 70 You never get any compliant Do you give a support as well? Yeah

Because I have to Obviously most venues They say you got to have the interval Yeah To make their money And I don't love walking on And coming back on and off And all that

Like, if I'm on, I'm on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't love the idea of walking off and having a wait. But I do come out with my, you know, Pat Cahill? He supports, anyway. So I go out with him, we do 10 minutes. I leave him. He does 20.

So you kind of introduce. Yeah, I come out with him, yeah. Well, the modern thing, though, is to come on and be your own support act, isn't it? Do you a bit of crowd work? The 20 minutes of crowd work and then go off and come back and do your proper show. Well, it's a financial thing, that I'm sure. And you don't have to talk to them. Yeah, but I'd rather have my mate with me travelling around the country.

I have issues with support acts which trouble me is that, you know, when a support act is doing material, which is stepping on the toes or something you're doing. Right, similar themes. Yeah, some of the theme is just to be, or if I would normally say to a support, I don't do too much crowdwork as I do a fair bit of crowdwork and you're going to have used them up by the time I get out. And I hate that conversation. Because what you're saying to someone, can you be a little bit less funny so I can be more

funny? Yeah. And that, even though it's my show and support act is different from being an act, it's a, it's a specific job. I really struggle with that conversation. Did you ever support anyone? No. Okay.

It says a lot about you. Yeah. I don't want to be in a car with him for too long. I had the word meteoric running through my head. I'm not going to keel services. So you're going to find a smoothie and a straw. It was too late. I just went from naught to 60.

Famously, famously. Yeah. Did you have anyone support you who now is really successful? Well, Jimmy Carr used to be my warm-up man when I did TV. Oh, the TV warm-up? Yeah, yeah. He did that. And I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that,

for that imbalance of power, as I think he would see. That was the thing I thought about doing this, doing an Edinburgh show about the life of Jimmy Carl, in which I play Jimmy Carr as an old man sitting and addressing room talking about my career. Some of it, which has happened, and some of it which hasn't happened yet, which I invented. But not tell him.

Not tell him until it's on. I mean, I'm watching this. Yeah, I think, wouldn't that be an interesting show? Because they're always about, like, you know, dead people and stuff. But someone who's actually current. Could you play him as if he was a ghost? Well, I don't want to predict his time of death. I just think as an old man, looking back on his career.

And then at the end of it, he gets up, and it's a big reveal about what he's. one of his job is now. I'm thinking Nazi collaborator. He's maybe memorabil-a. He's got a lot of memorabilia, I presume. Not the same thing. It doesn't have to be, Jimmy.

No, no. That's hard. No, but I think that would be an interesting show. I'd go and if someone was doing me, I'd go and see them Well I did a show with Adam Riches Where we played Michael Ball And of course

Oh yeah, of course you did And they came So you've done it Yeah they were sat in the room watching But they loved it They did love it So I'm talking Now I'm embarrassed

I'm talking as if it's a revolutionary idea That I've had You've actually done it, John Personated them yeah Yeah I well what a fool I felt This is twice in two days I've had this

But you're saying, but we did them as now. Yeah. You're playing. You're playing the old. You're playing them in 20 years. So you're filling in a gap. Well, yeah, because I want a period of his career that hasn't happened yet that I can make up. I think there's comedy now.

There's got to be comedies where his career goes from now. Yeah. Well, he's not doing much comedy anymore, is he? He's doing podcasts about life advice. He does a lot of comedy. Have you ever been on his website? No. Oh, my God.

I don't know when he doesn't not gig. Yeah, he gets like he gets two hours a night, doesn't it? It's extraordinary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's extraordinary. I remember looking at his dates, thinking, okay, they're well spaced out. And then I realized I was just on UK. I went, oh, Europe, world.

I thought, I don't know when he has a day off. Wow. Hey, I don't know. That's a play to him. Yeah, it's never ending tour. I'll incorporate that in the show. Are you going to be like, like, like. Like Bob Dylan, you're just gigging until you grind it into the ground.

Yeah. Can I said on that thing about thinking I'd had a really original idea and then you've already done it. Yesterday I had lunch with Matt Ford. And I said, why don't you do a female character who could be like right wing? So talking about the topics you talk about, but from a different angle. And she could be called fat maud. And he said, yeah, I get called fat moored a lot on the internet. And I thought, oh, I thought I'd had a really clever, funny idea.

There's people on the fucking internet coming up with the same joke. Oh, no. Oh, God, it's like being Tim Vine. When people keep coming up with ponds that are the same as yours, you know. Bumped into him last night. Did you? Someone commented on one of my reels that I look like Tim Vine. Do you think I do?

Um, no. No, I can see the shadow of... No, really. There's a bit of There's a hint But I mean a good You've got the best You know what is it?

Smile It's my smile Yeah he's got a big smile You've got a big smile Right yeah Yeah you've got the best of Vine I'll say that What you are is a really good edit of Tim Vine

Oh God The Vine having been pruned Right right right And given a wig Yeah But he'd wear that wig for Comedy reasons. Don't take that the wrong way. I can't wait to meet him.

I went down, first time I met him, I went down a water slide with him. Really? In Melbourne. I hadn't met him before. That's so nice. We're in a little rubber diggy. Then I see these legs. What did you get hurt with someone?

You know, like when you're just, yeah, you're just going up these stairs. That's very funny. Pleased to meet you. That's a good. I was in, do you know the city cafe in Edinburgh, opposite monkey barrel. I was in there and I went up the counter to get a couple of teas. And not for golf.

We were drinking it. And there was a guy who worked in there said to me, are you famous? It's always a difficult, I never quite know how to handle it. and I said well yeah sort of and he said

I don't recognise you what the hell is this opened with that yeah and then I thought this is chaos yeah I thought no I am really lost in this

I thought well I didn't did I bring it up and I've forgotten I said well well then why did you ask if I was famous he said well because you're having you're sitting with anna magliana

and I thought it's fucking happened, it's happened. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's very funny. I know.

It was, I was, was I, I, I, it's obviously, it's slightly insulting, but I couldn't wait to get back and tell her. And I have to say she was cocker hoop. Yeah, I bet. She was so pleased about it. Why do I like telling stories like that though? I tell you what, I went into HMV. Because you have been famous. Is that what it is?

Ten years ago. Yeah. Like, you know it now, you know that. You've had that craziness. So now you're reveling in because you've had it. Obscurity. Yeah. No one ever revels in obscurity.

No, you're not obscure. This guy might be 27. Who knows how is? No, I would say he was 20. There we go. But he, I went into, I mean, how would you explain this psychologically? I went into my HMV. My son wanted the new Weezer album.

So we went into HMV on Princess Street, Edinburgh. And they had one copy of three lions that had been recently released for the World Cup. I think they only sent one copy to Scotland. Because it's not going to really sell in Scotland. But there was one copy. And I said, my son said, I'll take a photo of you with that in the shop. And I said to the bloke, do you mind if we put this in the bargain basket for the photo? Now, why would I do that?

So I'm trying to make it as bad enough There's only one in the shop And it's still there after the World Cup Wasn't enough for me I had to have it in the bargain basket I had to twist the knife in my own side In front of your son Yeah

What is that about? That's age I don't know I'm just still getting over the fact There's a HMV So what is like selling albums and things Yeah, there's still an HMV Yeah

Check it out sells lots of other stuff now I up here I get into like quite nostalgic music listening to things over where I'm like I need I need that comfort I can only listen to classical music I've discovered Radio 3 on wind well no just sort of yeah like albums on yeah very kind of very classical opera stuff yeah

I mean but I'm listening to Simply Red you'll listen to yeah I think yeah and I won't listen it again when I go home Simply Red's nice though I listened to a bit Simply Red the other day and I don't Well, my algorithm knows. Right. And it shows me this footage of, I don't know, maybe you were there. Simply Red did a massive, I've never seen a concert at Old Trafford.

It doesn't surprise me. And Alex Vox and brought him out. Okay. It's because he's got Red in the name of the band. Is that what it was about? I don't know, but I'd never seen a concert at Old Trafford. Anyway, he sounds great. He's got good voice that guy.

Yeah, yeah. I did Chris Evansy's breakfast show. and they were on, live, doing life. And it was like, he was hitting really high notes at like 8.35 a.m. And I thought, wow, we. I said to him, you know, because he used to be a dad at my kid's school. So I used to walk back with him. And, yeah, he actually come up with a program idea.

I can't remember what it was, isn't it? Mick Hocknell, is that right? Mick Hocknell. Yeah, he had an idea for a treatment for a TV show. Anyway, yeah, he could sing like I had 8.35 in the morning. Yeah. Fantastic. These people, how do they do it?

Did you say you had some great Edinburgh Gossibbles? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I thought you weren't prepared to share on here. No, no, no. Okay, so this has happened multiple times, and I've heard it from multiple sources. And I won't name the venue that two,

technicians have been caught over the radio mics going to the toilet and getting it on and not turning their mics off. Shagget's in the toilet. I've heard it. Multiple times. Multiple? Yeah. Oh, yesterday when I was young. So many, many songs who were waiting to be songs.

That's, it's great that I keep doing it. I know, I know. because yeah. Technicians, shouldn't they be doing other stuff? That's what my first thought would be, are they neglecting what they should be doing for me? But yeah,

I guess you know, it's a long month, isn't it? And you don't really have meant much time off. Yeah, good for them. I think good for them as well. Absolutely. Get it blare and get some squeakers on.

No, if it's in, you know, if I was paying for it, if I'm going to pay for sex, it's not going to be for two technicians. I mean. Anyway, that's my Edinburgh tea. What else have I got? Last year, did you hear the one about the clown who was doing the bubble show?

Right. And there was other shows obviously going on. He did a bubble show for babies. And his bubble machine went up and hit like a light or something. And there was a previous show. And a condom fell off onto the baby's head. What? From a previous show.

Oh, from a pre-year. show. I thought it was inside the bubble. No, no. Something went up and it fell onto a baby's head. Oh, Jesus Christ. So the bubble, not the machine. He was doing a bubble show, I think. See, the way I'm getting this in my head is when the bubble went up,

it remained connected to the machine and took the machine up with him. But I mean, physics-wise. No, the bubble didn't burst or not give him out the bubble. No, that would be. Well, there used to be a bloke called Stevie Star. the regurgitator who I did a gig with in Great Yarmouth and he did this thing when he smoked a cigarette in like 20 seconds probably less probably 10 and then he would have a massive man-sized swig out of a bottle of fairy liquid and he would blow a massive bubble full of

smoke it was fantastic sounds great yeah that's I followed uh 2008 That was my first Edinburgh. We follow Mr. Meethane. Oh, I remember him. And what was that? He, what was he? He dressed like, he's like a superhero. Right, right, right.

Like, dressed in green with like purple pants and stuff. And, you know, he just, he just shot his pants, but it's... Really? He breaks wind to... In fact, there's a very, very... He was big in Germany. Yeah. I had him on...

I had him on show. And, um, a very... very odd thing happened. I got a friend in Australia. She called me and she said, I just feel like I had a weird dream. I was watching this award ceremony and who's the guy who did the wall of sound who then killed somebody? Spector. Yeah, Phil Spector. So Phil Spector got up to get a lifetime achievement and he said, I'll tell you how people respect artists in this day and Frank Skinner, the British comedian. She's already thinking, what?

Had this guy on his show who farted one of my songs. And that's how people regard art nowadays. This is going out in Australia. And I sang to do Ron Ron, Ron. And I sang, you know, I made a murder party and my heart stood still. And then he did the, but he did it with his, with his ass.

yeah but it wasn't tune but it wasn't tune for it gives it as all yeah you have to put for the last verse I had to put talc on it so you could see that's how he did the show

yeah yeah oh my gosh but it wasn't tuneful it was like I made him heard a party and my heart to stand still it was like that

you know it was like very very bad brass section but Phil Spectre found out and so fit to mention it as part of an acceptance speech. I know, it's insane. He mentioned it? Yeah, that's why she called me.

What the hell? Because he'd said this is how artists are treated today. I mean, he was insane. Gotcha. Yeah, he was insane. But even so, I just wouldn't have brought it up. That would have been right. I followed him 25 times.

And he ended on the talc. Wow. Where was the venue? It was the weather spoons in George Street. Really? It's the only time it was a venue. The only year it was a venue. Yeah.

That's a cool. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. I did opposite. I did Ryan Sellabar. That was my first fringe. Oh, yeah. The only year, it exploded.

Me, thing. There's nothing left now. It's just the gap in the street. Was that the double act? Yeah. Yeah. And the waitress with steam milk as or during our show. Oh, what really loud.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just remember that. I have to tell you, Katie, you know, I actually, I fantasise about writing comedy songs. Yeah, you should write. Because when I first started doing comedy, I mean, this was in 87, 88, I was billed as the rockabilly Charles Hortry. You know, Charles Hortry? Oh, from Carri-on. So I used to wear little glasses and a guitar, and I would do comedy song.

I remember being at a comedy club in Birmingham two days after Kenneth Williams died and doing quite a heartfelt song about how upset I was that Kenneth Williams had died. The idea of doing that now is I cannot imagine for a second doing it. And I remember it's one of the best responses to anything I've ever had. They went crazy. But whenever I tried, I did a comedy song about Azama bin Laden

Lardin that I did with a ukulele which used to store me and when I try what I can't cope with is the work in progress element is when you're trying that song before you've got it right and you think it's not working and there's another four verses that feeling see I quite like that yeah what I sort of don't mind I sometimes like oh I've got a song coming up in a minute it's a bit of a break yeah yeah but you're on about having to talk to them but you're right no but I can see that if you know the song works but when you're trying, do you actually try out in front of the audience? Yeah. And I, so I'm, do you have, I collaborate with a musician on my songs because I don't play the piano, but I can sort of, I can write the lyrics and come up with the melodies and we improvise

for a few hours around a piano. We workshop it for over a period of a few months. So even now, my Edinburgh songs are changing a little bit like I'm tweaking bits here and there. But I love doing it. When you walk, when I go off and come, for the encore, come back on, the ukulele, bring the house down before I even played it. But you did that documentary about George Fornbee. Yeah. You know, never mind Jimmy Carr as an old man. Where's the Frank Skinner is George Fornbee show?

Yeah, maybe I should do that. You'd love to do that, though, no? Jack D. Jack D's doing a show up here. You know what he's doing? What? He's telling old pub jokes. Oh, nice.

That's it. Yeah. But I think people love, but people... There's a market for it. I know someone who went to see it and they went, well, yeah, it's great. It's like Jack D. He's talking about... The man walked into a bar, that kind of thing.

Yeah, it's like... Is he analysing them in a modern Jack? No, but he's kind of like saying, Graham Garden told me this one, Barry Cry told me this one, and he's obviously got like, I don't know, little anecdotes about that? That sounds like, you know those Edinburgh shows

when you think people just want to get away from home for a bit? Well, Jack D obviously... Jack D obviously amazing joke teller. Yeah. So in your head, you're like, well... But I thought that's what we feel. fought against was telling old jokes like that. That's what this, when I started and it was alternative comedy, it was no sexism,

no racism, no, don't taste. No, they're not racist. I don't mean that. I mean, the third thing, you caught me off before I got there. The third thing was not doing, you know, jokes either other people's or jokes from the ether. Is that not swinging round bat though? I met a guy called Gordon Astley, who was a magician stroke comedian, and he said to me, it's great to meet you, your stuff always goes well.

And he meant when he did it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Because it wasn't seen as anything wrong in that mainstream circuit. Wow. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest.

It's better than him saying your stuff. I don't know, your stuff just doesn't work. Oh, yeah. That would have been. If you're going to say. steal it. I mean, fuck it. Do a good job on you. Did you ever see anyone back of the day doing your stuff? Joe Pasquale did a couple of my jokes on a... What stole them? Well, he did, I watched him, he was on the chat show with Jerry Hall and he did a couple of jokes of mine. One, which was like

a prop joke, which he did without the prop, which hurt me because I'd met Joe Pasquale and liked him a lot. But like I say, in his tradition, I don't know if it really means anything to do that. And Robin Williams did one of my jokes on a, he'd been in the comedy store the night before. And then he did one of my jokes the next day in an interview on some breakfast telly thing. Wow. But apparently, well, he claims he's got this thing, auto retentive memory, which, I'm always being sceptical about that you think

oh I've just thought of this and you forget that you've heard it somewhere else yeah because I think that does happen doesn't it like kind of we have similar ideas or like you can have similar ideas

I mean Robin Williams was was known for that oh really and he talked about that there's a great interview of Martin 2012 where he talks about it right

and I do believe him when he's like he just talks about saying like he was on a huge amount of cocaine and his brain did work in the like 100 mile an hour in proving and he would just stand on stage

and something would pop in his head and he'd say it and he got called up a lot on there but someone told me an American comic told me that comics just invoice him and they played them because he's done their job he doesn't even you know he didn't even question it I um he just says

hmm dopey me that's it I uh I was looking to get life insurance okay and I got set up meeting a guy

called Peter Rosengarde so I go meet this guy he founded co-founded the comedy store I'm like yeah he's like yeah I set it up with the other guy

done yeah I'm sat there like did you and you know I look him up and he did and he said to me

it's been years since I've been there that he's going through and I've only been in there maybe a handful of times but he's like did they still have that picture of Robin Williams there signed

above the stairs I went yeah he's like I need to go get that that's mine he went that's my signature oh no and I was like really

and he was interesting it was like yeah well how do you think he signed the photo like the photos we had the photo printed and then it was like bang makes sense it does make great marketing you know what

the fucking bite of bit well this guy there he's stealing his signature this guy's in the Guinness Book of Records for doing the world's biggest life insurance thing this guy is just specifically doing comedian's life insurances well he did yeah

he did lots of people he's a very interesting man I'd like to know how many of those comedians actually signed the contract. Yeah, that's funny, yeah. Yeah, what if he's written? I've probably got life insurance. Everything was done by paper.

There was literally 300 bits of paper next thing. Oh. He ate his eggs with bacon, scooped it. Oh, we used the bacon as a spoon. He said the queen did that. He sounds like a fucking liar. Hey. It was in Claridge.

He's got his own. table and carriages. Oh really? You sure you met him? I did meet him. It's a fascinating, genuinely, the most fascinating two hours of my life. Michael Stipe told me that he was in a restaurant and Audrey Hepburn was in there. And at the end of the meal, she checked her reflection in the knife, in the blade of a knife,

to make sure there was nothing in her teeth. And he said he's done that ever since. He took that as a... That's actually very clever. Yeah. It's great. Love that. Yeah.

It's great when you get an Audrey Hepburn anecdote, which is good enough, but it's via Michael Stipe from REM. Dog or whammy. Those two, I can't picture those two meet. No. No, but they weren't on the same table. They were just in the same rest. Oh, he saw it happen. He was studying her.

Like you and Haniamanglion. Yeah, exactly. No, we were on the same table. I checked her teeth and she checked mine. That's the deal. Obviously. nurse is a considerably bigger job at my age. She was there for two days.

She's got the short straw there. Yeah. You've got a bit Frank, but before he gets up. She actually had one of those lights in the middle of her head, like dentists. I had a tubing. So I'm just going to do a plug. The next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days is out on Wednesday, and I've been considering.

taking up gardening that didn't happen can i just say it's been uh great having you guys on thank you for having us i've really enjoyed it and um it it just felt like we've met on at a boss stop and talked oh that's that's good good okay um good good good good um good good good good um good with the rest of the edinburgh and i love you both oh love you too thanks right it's a frank skinner podcast It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode.

And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at avalonuK.com.