The Frank Skinner Show - Josh Widdicombe
Episode Date: March 24, 2025Josh Widdicombe is our guest this week! He chats to the team about his UK tour, Not My Cup Of Tea, dancing on The Wheel, the Parenting Hell live show and Michael McIntyre being in his bedroom. Learn ...more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh lady-o
and the one with the French name from South Africa came
they're all here open brackets hooray!
Close brackets today.
This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. I'm also joined
by a special guest today. I know, I know, Josh Widdecombe is with us.
Hello. I feel I should scream.
Go on. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. That'd be good at the Ruth Ellis reflective
performance. You can email the podcast via Frank of the Radio at AvalonUK.com. You can
WhatsApp us on 0745 7417769. So many sevens. It's almost biblical. Hello, Josh.
Hello. I'm a big fan of the podcast I should say. Of this
podcast? Yeah not of the medium of podcast. Of this podcast. I listen to every episode and I text my friend
Hannah about, we text forward and back about it. He's got a whatsapp group about our podcast.
You can't have a whats WhatsApp group of two people.
I'm in one with three people.
Are you? Who is it?
Me, David Baddiel and his daughter Dolly.
We're in a severance WhatsApp group.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, it's great.
I've never been in a proper WhatsApp group before.
Do the messages instantly erase themselves?
I do hope so.
Oh, clever lady.
I see. themselves. I do hope so. Oh, clever lady.
Here's a, so you're on mainly, obviously you're plugging stuff. We'll talk about that in detail.
No, we will do, because you're going on tour. Okay. I haven't seen you do stand-up for I think
some of like 20 years. Which was before I started it. Was it? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know when you were there. I was, I don't know if you know, I was a visionary for many years.
I worked on the front at Folkestone.
I'm going there tonight.
Are you?
I predicted that as well, you see.
Darren Brown's making a fucking living
out of this bullshit.
Anyway, sorry, we don't swear on this show,
that was me.
But he's with his friends.
That was me, yeah exactly.
You're trying to be cool in front of your man.
Yeah I'm showing off because I'm tired.
So yeah I swear Josh, I'm cool.
It's like when Richard Madeley had you
and David Onanswar to be cool.
Well I saw Josh do 20 minutes, maybe it wasn't 20 years ago.
It was really funny.
And I remember thinking, I mean my visionary role, this guy's gonna do well.
And, et voila.
Here we are.
So the tour, let's start on the tour.
It's called Not My Cup Of Tea.
Yeah.
Why?
Is there a reason?
Not really.
Because sometimes you just kind of have a title.
No, I quite like kind of quaint English phrases really. that's what I kind of and that kind of what like jobs for Imagine if you just had brexit-y tour. Leave means leave. You should take back control.
We've sold well in Sussex and Kent, but why do you think I'm going to Folk's?
Yeah, the Dublin gigs. Absolutely bombing.
It does actually. I always do badly in Dublin, but that's not why. Maybe it is the title.
No, I just like kind of...
Remember, gingers aren't such a novel CW.
Yeah, go on, sorry.
Do you know what, as a fan of the podcast, to get live at, oh Frank, it's really...
It's like when you see a band and they play the hit, you know what I mean?
It was that hit me baby one more time moment for you?
You dropped it very early in the setlist I know
I did it for you
I just want to get my own back
Because whenever I'm interviewed about touring
They always ask me what the show's about
Awful
It's about nothing
It's about making people laugh
Yeah, it's about filling the time with as many jokes as possible.
I find.
Yeah, that's what mine, that's what I aim for.
Pierre Navelli actually has a proper theme.
I use themes, yeah, to help me write.
It's actually easier if you decide it's about something.
Yeah, because it restricts your writing.
Yeah, it restricts your writing.
It's the kind of...
You go, oh, great, it has to be about owls.
The trouble is my... The audience don't do that.
My board and threshold is like ten minutes on any topic.
I never get through an article in a newspaper.
No.
I go about three paragraphs and I feel I have the cross of this.
You don't have a very high tolerance for it.
I remember once when I did something in the Times and you said,
I love the look of that article but it was 2, 2000 words. It was quite long for me to read it.
That is long.
Yeah.
Such a good comment. I loved the look of your book.
That's what you basically said.
On the shelf.
Well they told me to research podcasts so I'd know what I was doing on it. So I just looked
at some titles and tried to guess what they'd be about. But you're a podcast king now.
I love podcasts. I think it's amazing.
How many do you do?
Just this one now. Just one, not this one, just parenting. I stopped the 90s football
one.
Oh, because I remember doing that one.
Because we did seven years of that one.
Yeah?
You almost did the whole 90s. We almost did more, we almost did longer than the 90s.
And there's only so much you can talk.
You start repeating yourself, don't you?
If you set yourself to a topic.
And so I'm doing Parenting Hell with Rob,
which we do twice a week.
Yes, which is massive.
Yeah, we love to, it's great.
It's so fun. No, but it's massive as well, that's all that. It is massive as well, which is the key. Yeah, let's not, let is massive. Yeah, we love to do it. It's great. It's so fun.
No, but it's massive as well as all that.
It is massive as well, which is the key.
Let's not, let's not.
Have you actually done stadium gigs with it last?
Arena, we did the O2.
Whoa, with a podcast?
And have you got headphones on on stage and stuff?
Hey, you can't just ask these technical questions.
You're interviewing Josh for the podcast.
I'll be honest with you Josh, we've been
slightly pressured to do a live version of this.
So, we didn't do it because...
And I'm fighting it.
With tooth and nail.
Like a berserker.
What do you need me to say
to get you out of it Frank?
I need you to tell me what it's like really.
So, we did, when we did
Quickly Kevin, the 90s football podcast, we did it in Leicester Square Theatre and then we did one at Hackney Empire.
And that is a small enough venue that you, we had a screen, so we'd show like clips and stuff that we've only played the sound of, and then we'd interview someone. Right. But for the parenting hell, it's just us talking.
You can't do that in the O2 if you've paid people.
So we, if people are paid, so you kind of,
we turned it into a show, like a proper show.
We had a screen, we had clips, we had games, we had,
it was like a kind of, almost like a Saturday night
Right.
TV show.
Oh, you went up at Ant and Deck.
We went up at Ant and Dec.
Nothing wrong with that.
And were the commissioners sniffing around?
Not at all, I tell you.
So we thought you can't just amble on at the O2.
Which I think Alistair Campbell and Rory Stewart did,
so maybe you can just amble on at the O2.
Well I saw, what are they called?
It's something like Flight of the Seagulls.
We saw that together, Flight of the Concords, flight of the seagulls but we saw that together flight of the Concordes yes not seagulls and they were two blokes sitting
in a set I mean they they could have cozily got into the studio they just
sat next to each other on a sofa one with a keyboard and that that was it
they sold it out three nights yeah yeah I I'm losing my bearings Josh. You're just a man with a mic.
Yeah, yeah.
I know, but I've worked and polished those gags.
A podcast is just this.
But ours wasn't, ours was worked and polished.
So it's almost, so the first half was word,
not word for word, but kind of like, we know, we knew what we were going from and to.
It was like doing a set. And then the second half we had a different guest each night.
But we would say, what do you want us to ask you?
Because you probably want to have a funny anecdote.
Yeah.
Like when you do a chat show, I suppose.
Which we haven't done with you, I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry. They can see the basically... I just figure you'll be funny anyway.
The way we're going to do a live is either we'll convince you Frank or it's going to be like those drug tigers in Thailand where we're just going to sedate you and pose with you.
We'll get the darts out.
It's like Weekend at Bernie's.
I think you two could do it.
What?
Like when Laverne and Shirley did like a spin-off from Mork and Mindy.
That would be the most depressing show ever.
And also we can't have a cut out of you.
That's weird.
Like when Brian Jones died and the Rolling Stones played Hyde Park four days later.
Yeah.
Or Mick Jagger ran out the speech.
Yeah.
Yeah well it wasn't a speech.
Oh what was it?
A poem? Yeah it was it wasn't a speech. Oh, what was it? A poem?
It was Shelley's...
Oh yes.
He has awakened from the dream of life.
Goodnight.
But in the defense of it, you did Badil and Skinner Unplanned, which was kind of the first ever live podcast. Yeah, but we did that in the West End and lost
28,000 pounds each.
That is true. You didn't.
28,000 pounds each we lost.
I came to see you in that. I thought you were broke.
Well in some cases, of course our management would have lost that money, but not on our system.
I love that show Frank, I came to see you in that. I'm so sorry. In some cases, of course our management would have lost that money, but not on our system.
I love that show, Frank. I came to see you in that. I'm so sorry you lost that much money. I had no idea.
That flip-sharp was expensive, wasn't it?
I'm over it now.
So I want to get the tour sorted though. Are you on tour now?
No, I'm doing warm-ups at the moment. The tour starts in September.
You know I had lunch with your compatriot, Rob.
Yes, he said.
It's very nice. He just called me out the blue and said,
do you want to go for lunch? Which people never do.
Because you're in the same city.
Yeah, we're both in Manchester. But even so, you know, I didn't call him.
But it was great. It was really nice. And we were talking about, he
was doing warm-ups and I listened to him agape. Oh, it does my head in the way he works.
What do you mean? Well, perhaps you'd like to explain, Josh, the way Rob Beckett puts together a live show.
He kind of just goes on and talks and then he doesn't really think about it between the gigs.
Yeah.
And then he'll go on and he'll kind of just remember the bits that worked and just go
on and do it again and again and again until it was a show.
Is that how you...
That's how he explained it to me.
I said, well, what's your prep?
He said, a good night's sleep. It sounds like some Coronation Street character.
This is fantastic.
But also he doesn't understand that other people can't do that.
It's quite difficult talking to him when you're like, you know,
I'm going to do some work on stand up.
Why?
Yeah.
Really?
Well, I said, you know, I've got like a notebook and I write
it's in a notebook. Like at school. So you know he's really funny and it works. Yeah. It really works. I just don't think I'd have the balls to do it. No.
I mean I used to do a show called Man with No Show where I literally went on with no material at all.
That's true.
But I found the best nights when it really really rocked.
If I listen back to it, nothing could have been used again.
Because it's so specific to what that guy said and what that was about.
That's what people loved is it was so clearly live.
And that's one of the dangerous things about when you do new material gigs
and something will happen and you'll do a bit and you'll think that's a great new bit.
I had a bit about tying your shoes because my shoes came untied at Always Big Comedy
and I thought this is the best thing I've ever written.
And it never worked again but of course it only worked because my shoes had come untied.
Yeah. Like I was... Because there are comedians that would have
absolutely made sure their shoes come untied every night. But we ain't them.
Are you much more swatty Josh? Are you the swat of the pair? Yeah I am. I wouldn't say I'm as swatty as I was, but I'm quite swotty. You get the feeling, having done Parenting Hell, there is a very much a feeling that
someone has prepared and the other one is allowing the moment to take.
One has rested from a good night's sleep.
We interviewed Ed Balls.
Oh, how did you find Balls? I think it's
surprising that he's made a career in light entertainment. Really? Because I
thought he had unexpected riz in the back edge area. I really liked him.
I didn't not like him at all, I just found him, he wasn't on our
wavelength. Not very lightent friendly. Not very light and friendly.
But Rob didn't know he was a politician until he'd finished. I love you! I thought he was
a dancer. Yeah, I just thought he was some bloke who did breakfast TV. He's kind of a
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It's Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, it's the Frank Skinner
podcast don't you know.
I've had a very strange week Josh and I think you will get this.
On Monday I went to the Dimbleby Lecture.
I got invited to that?
Yeah.
I wish I'd gone.
You didn't go. I couldn't go. I had a gig.
And it was it was given by Sir Gareth Southgate. Oh, yes. And then last night
I went to see Dear England. So in two nights, I had real Southgate and fake Southgate.
I thought fake Southgate was more Southgate.
Than real Southgate?
Yeah.
It's not Joseph Fiennes now, is it?
No, no, it's a Gwilym's...
He was brilliant. He really was.
He had that squint.
I think he made the nose move a couple of times.
But that could have been just lighting.
But have you seen Dear England?
Yeah, I saw it last time before the... they've written a new ending, haven't they?
I mean it goes on a bit.
Well, they just botched it on the end, so is it even longer?
They've just put like new... there's about four tournaments on the trot.
I... yeah.
And then Thomas Tuchel comes on.
Oh, it's the innit now!
Please end it! You know what Samuel Johnson said of Milton's
paradise lost? No man ever wished it longer. And it was good, there was moments I was quite
fearful and stuff. It's, it's it's got three lines in it. That is a good question. Oh, is it one you're
prepared to answer? You see, David
Baddiel said to me, I don't think you'll be very happy when you see it, because I
only saw it for the first time last night. I hadn't seen the original.
He said, you know, I think we're a bit... He said, well, see what you think.
So we got to a bit, there's no three, they start off with the penalty kick that he missed in 96.
Yeah, great opportunity.
Yeah, great opportunity.
It's on a plate.
Yeah, and no they don't play it.
Oh no, Frank.
But then a bit later, Harry Kane says, come on, he says, let's do Nobby's dance you know Nobby's
dance like in the song and they all go yeah and then it goes sweet carol and
they dance to Nobby's dance and then it shows you know when the lionesses won and they went
into they invaded a press conference and sang football's coming home. On the table. Well they show that clip but they put different music over it.
What? Really?
Why would they? Why would they hate it?
Who would have been raised like?
Soviet Russia! Who would have been raised?
Why the hate for Three Lions?
I think maybe it looks like he put them in and the National Theatre said it's a bit jingoistic.
Isn't it those two lads, those two poster boys for loaded?
It doesn't suggest that England is the home of football.
That's not, we can't say that.
Oh dear.
Is it a licensing thing?
Harry Kane was unfairly maligned as a total idiot.
What, and that last impression, frankly.
No, that's really accurate of what the...
The performance is like.
The performance is like.
Now I was a bit... Come on guys! It was a bit like that.
It's like a henchman in a cartoon. It was.
Yeah boy! Sure thing boys!
Squad the goals, I got it! Look, I love Harry Kane so much.
Now I tell you how it was, it was like that, it was of mice and men.
Okay George!
We're gonna get to the final aren't we George? But...
I just knew it!
But...
I suppose my point is Josh, is me and you for example,
if we was on a show and we're taking the piss out of Harry Kane,
we've sort of got earned the right from years of watching you know football all the time but at the
National Theatre people may be not football fans.
You mean the Dorm Bags?
I thought I don't it's not you know a look at and now the working class! I'm taking class then! Ha ha ha ha! Dance! Dance!
I'm like, what do I do?
Dance!
Having said all that, I did think of a joke.
Do you ever do this Josh, when you see a comedian
and think, oh they should have done that joke
and then tell them after?
What I do often is this bad.
So a comedian is doing a routine
and I think, they'll start
and I think, I know what this routine is going gonna be and then they're going a completely different direction and I think well I'm just gonna do the direction I've got.
I've just come up with a routine.
So that's a new idea, fair enough.
This is a new idea, it's a completely different routine.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but Josh, what I suspect you don't do is go back and give notes to people after they've done gigs.
Do you know what I once did?
I do it. Oh, we know you do it, Frank. Do you know what I once did? I do it.
Oh, we know you do it, Frank.
You've got the right to.
No, I haven't.
You've got the right to.
So about when you first saw me,
so I would have been really new.
Yeah.
I was just professional.
And I've never,
I've actually kind of blocked this from my mind because it's such a misjudgment. Oh, I love this I
Was watching comedian? I was with me when Sean Walsh and I was like, oh you should do that and Sean was like, yeah
Yeah, that's that's actually a good session, but it was Lee Evans
Did you say less sweaty
Could you just calm down please? A bit frantic for my tastes.
Are you alright?
No, come on, what did you say?
I said, I can't remember obviously what the joke was, but it was like a topper on his joke.
And he understandably kind of, in a nice sarcastic way said oh yeah maybe yeah yeah thanks for that or
something like that like in a kind of in a put me in my place in a nice way but
the feeling the moment I said it I thought why have I he was doing a tour
warm-up for his arena tour at the glee club and I was opening and he was doing
40 minutes and I've gone up to him and gone you don't know me but he thought about acting out the racing drive
Yeah, but the thing is you've done that once and then you learn from it
May I introduce you to Frank Skinner?
You've done this a lot for now, but people have told me it's the people who have got the humility to take that advice
I've said to me it's the people who have got the humility to take that advice have said to me
It worked really well after it does
I've got a joke in my show which is Sean Walsh suggested as a topper to one of my routines
And I do do it. I do think every time of
That's not mine. Yes. Well, I did a chat show where I used writers
yeah, and I hadn't done the writers thing before
and I realised that even if one of their jokes got a big laugh I felt nothing.
It was awful. I would rather have one of my jokes scraping through than one of theirs getting a round of applause.
So if I came to see you do a warm-up show and I said,
have you thought about this extra joke?
Would you do it?
I'd do the joke and as the laugh faded I'd go,
Josh, where'd it come, ladies and gentlemen?
But amidst all this thing, the Dear England,
so I was a bit upset at the Harry Kane thing,
and then there's a woman
in the play who sort of gives them like, you know...
Makes the tea.
Wellness. No, no, she changes the whole sort of mindset.
Oh, lovely.
It was Dervla Kerwin when I saw her.
Oh no, this wasn't.
Is she a sports psychologist?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, she's Australian, actually, in this. And she says that, and she, they're talking about the Germans take twice as long to take
a penalty as the British do.
They just calm themselves a bit more.
And Harry says something like, you know, it's not that far to the spot.
And she said, you know, but just, just you know don't be nervous you can
breathe you can breathe and I thought he could say what through the nose
even though I was offended by it. Do you know James Graham well enough to... No, I don't know James Graham at all.
Is that the man who wrote it?
He was at the Dimbubi Lecture and I was going to go over and say,
you know, I'm coming to see your play tomorrow night.
Put the song in.
But because David Baddiel had warned me off.
They play Three Lines 98 as the audience leave the theatre.
Oh, that's alright.
Oh, it's alright to welcome everyone in. Alright to be incidental music.
98's a weird choice, why wouldn't you go with it?
I think it's because it talks about the penalty miss.
Oh, okay.
Heroes dressed in grey or whatever. I'll tell you something, I don't want to go on and on about this, but see what do you think about this Josh? When Gareth Southgate talked about
the penalty at the lecture, he said, yeah well Brian Robson said to me, will you take
a penalty if he goes to six, will you take a penalty? He said he was my hero, I couldn't say no. In the play, he volunteers.
Oh.
That's quite a big difference.
He's probably not been consulted on the play, has he?
I know, but you've got to get that right. I think he must have known.
They don't want to have to cast a Brian Robson.
No, no.
That's quite a specialist area, isn't it?
It was economics.
So when does the tour actually begin, begin?
September the 14th or 15th in Canterbury.
I will come along.
If Frank's of interest, if Frank was sitting on the front row, like his arms folded, would
you be nervous? I know you wouldn't, darling. But would you be nervous to see Frank, for
example? Yes.
Would you? Why? I don't like... Ideally, no one I know or
respect will come to the tour. My old schoolmate...
Okay, there'll be some friends listening now. My old schoolmate, since I've known since I was 11,
he sat with his wife in the front row
on one of my last two shows.
I never saw...
If they did laugh, they laughed when I was looking elsewhere,
which wasn't very often.
If I know someone's there, that's all I'm thinking about.
Can I ask you a question I ask every comedian privately?
I'm going to ask you one.
Oh God.
How long do you do?
I do, so I've got a support who does 15 to 20,
and then I'll come on and do a bit in the first half,
which should be about 20, 25, and then I'll do an hour.
OK.
So about an hour 20?
Yeah. Not enough?
No, I'm thinking... I think I'm trying to convince myself.
I think people do too much.
People do too much. See I saw a quote from you and you said I saw Ed Gamble
and he was funny every 20 seconds for an hour and 10 minutes.
Well funny for an hour and 20 seconds is what most people would hear, but all I could hear was hour and 10 minutes. Well, funny for an hour and 20 seconds is what most people would hear,
but all I could hear was,
hour and 10 minutes.
Nice.
Nice.
When I went to see Ed,
it was, he finished,
I was like, great,
I'm so pleased he's finished.
Because I've really enjoyed that,
but I just think the thought of,
when you go to the theater it's too long
mmm the theater is what an hour and an hour usually that more yeah yeah when
when they've added to call what you were to soo cool yeah got take out Graham
Taylor or something at that point just two of the tournaments they could have took. Yeah, that's why I thought
I love that you two are actually giving advice now for the entire podcast
There were moments though when I really loved Earingland. Can I make that clear?
I cried at times. I was really moved by even though I knew what was gonna happen in those penalty things
I still felt it but even me three four tournaments scene was thinking we've got the general thing. Yeah
Yeah, we don't need quarterfinals in Qatar that can go no
one needs that
Won't we just use that as a clip we don't need Qatar
So
You've got the tour and you're still doing The Last Leg.
Yeah.
You've got a massive podcast.
Yeah.
You're living on gravy.
I like, yeah, I'm liking life actually.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
I feel what I very, very much enjoyed and that was Michael McIntire invading your bedroom.
Oh, that was great.
That was fun. He was so adorable Josh
Yeah, would you be happy with that? It was really intense. How would you? I know you'd hate to go on the wheel
You've covered that. No, well, I'd love to go on the wheel if I didn't have to dance
Do you really feel that strongly about the dance? Oh, yeah. So I've done the dance
Oh, is it not bad enough I'm doing adverts nowadays
without dancing in public? How did you find a coat with the dance Josh? I think you get
away with it somehow. So I really struggle with dancing and I... I think most Now carry on.
But you've got that whole blur vibe.
No, but I don't want that whole blur vibe.
I did, so they film it beforehand.
So they, so you do it during the show.
Are we talking about the wheel?
Yeah, the wheel, he's just doing the wheel quickly.
Yeah, so they feel, you dance during the show,'re talking about the wheel. Yeah, so
They feel they dance during the show. That's real, but also to get the extra cutaways beforehand
You're filmed on the wheel all of you separately
With a cameraman kind of running around next to your stance
So they'll go yes, it'll come to you and it's just you and then... Josh Wedekum!
Yeah, and then the production staff will all be like...
And you're like, you've got a kind of...
And it's like that...
Shrined animals.
That was the most difficult bit.
Yeah, the thought of Frank doing this, I'm going to vomit.
It's a show now.
I feel actually sick.
It's such a good show.
I love this show. I love doing it. so I've now done it enough that I've
desensitized the dancing yeah but I often you're next to a pop star so I was next to Frankie Bridge
and you're going she's just like brilliant yeah and then it's me and then it so that's what it is.
There are only certain people that it really bothers me
I like you was sort of fine, but sometimes when it's like Richard Madeley, I didn't love doing the dancing
Yeah, I think there's just some people that feels that like news readers doing it and things
I don't like but you see people of great gravitas and Michael Sheen and he really went for the dance
So I was on the Michael Sheen one. Oh, yeah, I was on the Michael Sheen one
He really went for the dance. So I was on the Michael Sheen one.
Oh yeah?
I was on the Michael Sheen one and he's a huge fan of The Wheel.
Yes.
Yeah I know.
So he, it was mortifying because he got the question wrong.
I know it was awful.
It was awful.
Oh David Bideel's done the dance?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Could you sell the production?
No I can't talk about that.
Why?
Because he'll say to me, oh, you're talking about me, John.
Dancing again.
Yeah, I'll be removed from the WhatsApp severance group.
There'll be true severance.
Could you convince production that sort of slowly lowering your head into your hands was a dance move?
Well, John Richardson's done it, which is kind of...
How did he get away with it?
I think, I don't know, I just know that he's done it, which is kind of... How did he get away with it? I think...
I don't know, I just know that he's done it.
Because I remember seeing his leg and thinking, that's incredible.
But yeah, I don't know.
But on the nighttime thing, it is an incredible experience.
It's like no experience you've ever had to suddenly have Michael McIntyre and these people
in your room.
And it's weird how quickly...
Do you know about Alex James?
Mr Blobby was he?
Mr Blobby.
It's like a light entertainment, like, assassination of Bin Laden.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Bursting into the compound, night vision footage.
And then they bury you at sea.
Yeah, Mr Blobby sends you off the side of an aircraft carrier.
It's all being live-streamed to us around the world.
Could you imagine the difficulties of trying to bury Mr Blobby at sea?
Oh yeah, he needs to go on the assembly.
He floats on to save others.
Now for all the effort they put in and they really did produce it, they brought in, I
mean it was really, they pulled out all the stops without doubt. There was two things
in it which I will remember until I get dementia. And people used to say as long as I live,
but it's optimistic nowadays. And neither of them were sort of, and one of them was the fact that you just step out
of your clothes.
I just say that's not!
It's so cute!
It looks like you'd leapt out of them!
So cute, John!
So what do you do?
Walk across the room in the nude?
Well, I tell you what, um...
What a word to suddenly reach for.
Yeah, I tell you what I used to do, and I don't know it so much now, but I would lay out my
clothes for the next day and I used to lay them out as a figure with the shirt on top
of the trousers and the socks at the bottom.
He used to compare it, Josh, to the Keep Britain Tidy man.
You'd see all it was.
It's like I had a sentinel watching over me through the night.
Yeah, so I definitely don't just leave them at the side of the bed.
I think I put mine on a chair because I think I'm not stooping all the way down to the floor first thing in the morning.
Hang on, why don't you just have a robe?
I don't want them to find me there.
Do you wear robes?
I don't wear robes.
You know, like a dressing gown.
No.
Frank doesn't wear robes either.
Is that me thinking Justin know what a robe is?
No, no, no.
I don't wear a dressing gown.
I wear, so if I get up in the morning and I need to get dressed quickly, I'll put on
a t-shirt and shorts.
So I won't put on yesterday's clothes.
No.
Okay. So the door won't. But the other great thing was at the end of this most
spectacular TV thing darkness falls on the Widdicombe bedroom and you just see
a hand reach out, take a asthma inhaler and go...
What a loser. I thought, I've damaged this man.
He was on Michael Medical, Michael McIntire and now he needs medicine.
He's just allergic to whatever Mr Blobby's made of.
There must be people that come off the wheel a bit bilious.
You think so?
I won't say who it was, but I did the evening version.
Is there a night time wheel?
Sex wheel.
Sexy wheel.
It's a strip wheel.
Uncut.
The stag wheel.
Bonnie Blue on the wheel.
Yeah.
She wasn't shy about dancing.
The centrifuge trying to clean her.
Oh my god.
She's in a booth at the side and people come round on the wheel like yo, Sushi.
Oh, Frank, please. Come on, please.
No, sorry, you did the evening one a date there's two records in the day
Which I'm never seeing the same light again now. Yeah, and the afternoon one
Someone had done one spin on the wheel and gone. I'll do this
Celebrity yeah from motion science. We've got to find out who dad is well. I can tell you in okay
I did a show with...
Trying to keep the suspense.
I think it was Tina Hobbly.
Oh she's nice.
She was very nice.
Oh, Holby City I thought.
Oh I thought she was a Corrie briefly as well.
I thought she chose Holby City the way Holby City,
the way that Arsene Wenger chose Arsene.
Which is a bit like my name.
Anyway, we all were lined up
and we would literally, the credits, the titles were running, we were about to
start, and she just very gracefully suddenly moved away from the panel
where we were all standing, went over to a plastic bucket on the side and absolutely projectile vomit in her. Like about four real
power jets. Then she just took a tissue out of her mouth and dabbed it back to her place
on the panel.
When Zidane took that penalty against England in 2004, that's how Tina Obley took that penalty.
Exactly. Yeah and he just did a little bit of like sicky dog spit, but she did like massive
fountains of vomit and then walked back like what a professional
All those years on Holby City vomit meant nothing to her
Did any of you say anything?
I think I said what's that smell?
No, I think in the end they stopped the recording and
The producer persuaded her not to continue, but she was all set to bat along
Gosh, my Edinburgh venue and I did the free fringe with James A. Castro and Nick Helm in
2009. Good Bill. Good bill, good bill.
In the middle of nowhere, just the worst pub ever, no one came.
And like, we got there, it had like balloons on the wall from a,
you know the wrinkly balloons?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, when the balloons gone wrinkly.
And then halfway through the run at the back of the room.
What I love about that is if you touch the wrinkle it tightens around your finger.
But I don't like the sensation of those balloons. I found that word with my throat.
Anyway carry on you're in this Bob. I've cleaned that one up a bit. Yeah. It's good humor, isn't it?
We're spoiled with these gems.
Halfway through the run, a bucket of sick appeared at the back of the room.
Oh no.
And no one dealt with it.
For the whole run, they just put a newspaper over it because it was like 10 different shows
in the venue, so you didn't know.
No one took responsibility, including myself. Yeah. And it just stayed there for the whole... So I don't know if Tina Hobbly
was doing her first hour at one woman show.
But it's when you walked out and people had put coins and notes in there.
I like Tina Hobbly, she will kill again.
No, I respected Tina Hobbly. Can we, before you go, is there anything else, can I tell you a
story by the way? We can go, we can, yeah. I was, and I actually texted Josh about this, I was in
I think Bath and I walked down the road and I saw a woman reading this book and laughing out loud
and when I got it, it was Josh's autobiography. Amazing. And it
was I thought that so I said I'll be honest I slightly set it up because I
didn't want to just take a photo of a woman without asking her. Yeah. Not in the
current climate. I was I was wanted to make you happy but I got my career. Yeah
yeah. So I said to her are you enjoying it? She said it's really funny. I said I'll tell you
what I know Josh
Can you just look like you were then reading that book and I took the photo and send it to job
And he said something self deprecating. Oh
I love that book. I told you I love that book. Yeah, I enjoyed writing that book. This woman this is a proper
Laughing out loud in the street things which Which I never do at books really.
So that's the, do you laugh out loud?
When a book says laugh out loud funny,
I'm like, really?
The terrible thing is.
I never believe people.
You know when I see on the tube lot,
I never believe anyone has genuinely
laughed out loud at a book.
I laughed out loud on the train once.
This is gonna make me sound like a prat
at Charles Dickens' The Pipwick Piper. No, do you know what? It just makes it sound like you. But what was great about it, even one of his best if I'm honest.
I'd got an old, see I need Charles Dickens I've read all the way through. Really? It was really funny.
And it was, I'd bought it from a second hand bookshop and it was an old red hardback
book and I think people thought it was the Bible. I remember he bought he buys a horse at one point
Pickwick and the man selling the horse obviously knows Pickwick's a bit of a city slicker.
Just to flag up, this is going to go viral.
So he can totally rip.
The Pickwick man.
You say that, Booktok is a huge deal.
Yes, Booktok is big, thanks.
Well, so, Pickwick's buying the horse and the guy's clearly ripping him off.
And he says something like, it's a very fine horse, he said with
a grin which agitated his auricular, no he agitated his face from one auricular organ
to the other. So he laughed from ear to ear in other words, but brilliant, just brilliantly
cool.
And is that the bit that you laughed out loud?
No I laughed at lots of it, it's like a laugh every two or three pages.
A big laugh?
I like people thinking you're reading the Bible.
I should just get the dictionary and laugh at that on the trip.
Another word I know.
Johnson, you've done it again.
The slurs with the innocence.
It's killing me as well.
So the tour begins...
September.
You can get tickets now, presumably.
Presumably, yeah.
Yeah.
JoshWilcom.com
Yes, I believe it is.
You're going everywhere.
I'm trying to.
Even though you're going everywhere, someone will comment in two years saying, when are
you coming to Halifax?
I'm not doing Sheffield and I don't, I know it.
Oh.
Yes, don't do the Isle of Man.
I know, I'm doing the Isle of Man.
Oh Frank, that's so rude.
Are you doing the Isle of Man?
You are doing it.
Genuinely 48 hours ago, Rob Beckett said to me, the only place he won't do is the Isle of Man.
Right.
I don't know whether it lends you two compared notes.
Oh no. Well, call me immediately after. I'll be able to hear you quite clearly.
Don't bother to leave the stage first. And maybe take your asthma inhaler as well.
Oh man. Oh I don't know if they allow that kind of modern machine on the Isle of Man. Let me have mine. I fit the Loddites for Smashy Top at Customs.
Josh it's always an absolute joy to see you and thank you and well done on all
your... do I tell you when I met Frankie Vaughan? Do you know who Frankie Vaughan is? No, I know the name.
He was the singer in the 50s.
What does he sing again, Frankie Vaughan? He sang, give me the moonlight, give me the girl.
He couldn't do it now. And he shook my hand as I left and he said, great to meet you, Frank.
Continued success. That's what I'm saying to you, Josh. Thank you. you. So, yeah. Well, that's our first guest. Oh, I've loved it.
Have you?
It's a big moment for us.
Because as a, it's seeing it live.
Oh.
It's really, it's like, what I love about this podcast
is I've never known anything that is so high brow
and so low brow.
In, in, in.
Thank you.
It moves from GK Chesterton to like daytime TV consistently.
It's a real window isn't it?
Well you've been a top. I find guests are like greeting a pearl in an oyster.
That's so rude.
They can produce a pearl but more often they just produce a ragged wound.
I'm so sorry.
I think you've been a pearl today. Thank you so much. Josh Whittaker. Let's do that Steve Wright thing
Josh Whittaker!
I'm gonna scream again
Thank you. Thank you for having me
Thanks for listening to the podcast make sure to like and follow so you never miss
an episode. And if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio
at avalonuk.com