The Frank Skinner Show - Lemsip's Been Cancelled

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Milo Edwards! This time Frank's been chastised for not knowing a saying and Emily has been to a fancy new dentist. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Frank and Joe then left the Y. They're exercising done.

They walked hand in hand down where 64th their lover just be gone. Back inside a man tied sneakers for his seven-year-old son. And around and around the indoor track, a pretty girl did run. She did run. This is Frank Skinner. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Milo Edwards made it on time this week. Hello.

Good to be here. Follow the podcast on excellent Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank. Frank Off the Radio at Avalon UK.com. As for WhatsApp. It's Frank off the radio. And that posh lady, oh. Oh yeah.

Ooh. 7 for once. Right. That was... The Power Rangers. Paul Pinfold Jr. Oh, yeah. We've had him before.

How long would it take me to live down this time that I was late for the podcast, do we think? What's the sort of half-life? I don't like to put a time on this. So listen, I was having, I believe they call it lunch in the southeast. What would you call it? Oh, dinner? Yeah. Okay.

And they don't have supper. My mother-in-law said, well, you know what they say? As above, so below. And I said Who? Not when it comes to my grooming. I said, yeah, it's a whole 69. What a roll reversal that was.

Oh, man, imagine that as a chat up life. As you're finishing ice cream cone. Oh, don't live. Anyway, anyway, anyway, I'm more of a cup man. My mother-in-law wouldn't say anything like that. She's clean as a whistle. As above so below. Stop it.

I said, I don't know. What? She said, you don't know as above so below? And I said, no. Do you know it either of you? I've heard that expression. Now, hang on. Can I work out?

Is she talking about heaven and hell or something? I hope not. No, that's what I thought she meant. It's not good on eyes on the prize if they are the same. It's not very motivational. No. I thought it was something about, like,

what goes on in the realm of heaven and godliness is so it is on earth or something like that. Oh, is that right? Well, maybe it's not. That makes sense, yeah. Well, I think, I'm not sure quite what the liturgical implication is supposed to be. No, I'm not sure about that. But anyway, so there was about seven or eight,

I think it was nine of us having this launch. Yes. And she said you all know, and everybody went, no, I've never heard it. And she's like, oh, I can't believe you. Well, you've never heard of Asabov soap. That's all right. I don't do this with everything, you know, that I say that you don't haven't heard of. You never had a lozance?

Yeah, never had a herbal lozance. So she got a phone her. She said, oh, come here, started looking it up. So I wrote down what it said. What does he say? As above so below, originates from the emerald tablet of Hermes Trisemegiscus. An ancient hermetic text. Sounds like he was having some trouble below.

Yeah, exactly. Although I like that Hermes was involved. Yeah, absolutely. Well, they never normally turn up. I'm not talking about the delivery driver. I'm talking about the French label Hermes. I thought it was a spin-off of Teddy Gray, the Emerald Tablet. It used to be the Emerald Lodger Lossange.

Exactly. She didn't hear the last podcast. We were eating Teddy Grey's herbal lozenges. Horrible sweets. It was barely, let's not do, that's what she said. It was barely in your mouth for a second before you spat it into a tissue. Yeah, and it was the worst second of my life.

Oh, gosh, that is. Can you get back to Sandy Mason and the Emerald Tablet, Which is a great Harry Potter book. I felt that it's not generally known the Emerald Tablet of Hermes Tris Magistus. Yeah, no. I mean, even Milo, who's a studier of ancient texts. Yes.

I don't mean ancient texts, like ones he got from girlfriend in 2023. On a knockier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know. Lots of abbreviations. If he hasn't heard of the Emerald Tablet, what chance have we got? And you've definitely not heard of it. the Emeraldabler or Hermes?

No, no. I've heard of Hermes. Well, you know the God. But you said you'd heard of Asabov so below. Yeah, well, I have heard that expression used, but I didn't know the full origin of it. I mean, it's not exactly nobody puts baby in the corner, is it? No, no. It's not like, it's not general parlance.

Yeah. Well, that was Athena who said that. So that was... Oh, what's it? I used to love her posters. My mum used to call Hermies a delivery company. company Hermes. Yes, because of the...

She was obviously a very well-bred woman. Which shows how far she'd fallen. She'd gone from Hermes to Hermes, and she wasn't willing to accept that. She's gone from ordering Hermes... To ordering... Well, people say Nike. Yes.

That should be Nike. Athene Nike. Well, should... Can you clarify this for us? In Greek, it would be Nicair, so Nike would be closely. So Nike, do you say Nike, Frank? I do, yeah. Yes, I prefer to.

I like it just sounds like somebody, you know when people like deliberately stupid. They do with French as well. I can't bear it. Back to Matt Sandy Mason in the parlour. Yeah. What happened then? Yes, it was like. Well, she got, she wouldn't back down on this.

She still thought it was that we should have known it. Okay. Did even your brother-in-law not know? Because I expect him to know of these things. Very well educated. He went to Cambridge. Yeah, I don't think he did Hermetic books. I don't even know what Hermetic books are.

I don't want really hard to open. Sealed. Placic wrapped. Maybe that comes from Hermes. I don't know. But does Hermetic? Does it come from Hermits? Or from Hermes?

Well, because I feel like it'd be hermitic, wouldn't it, if it came from Hermits? I don't know. I don't know. Right in, if you're an expert on either Hermes, Hermes, Hermes. Yeah, I didn't know what a fucking Alencus. was. Yeah. So don't ask me.

Get that on a t-shirt. And did you find the film? It's a thing, actually. Frank, did you find the film called As Above So Below? She did the Googling. Okay. Is it based on the Emerald Tablet? No, there was a 2014 horror film.

And I know you love a horror film. I don't do the horror film. And it was, it's presented. I think it's sort of a Blair Witch Project Conceit. Right. It's presented as found footage of a documentary crew inside the catacombs of Paris. I know that's triggering for you. It is.

Because that's a question you and Adrian got wrong on who wants to be a millionaire. Am I correct? Thanks for bringing that. I do apologise. Unlike Frankie who wasn't correct. No, I was very wrong. Speaking of that, though, I saw I was watching Pointless. And Ed Gamble was in the chair.

Oh, was he? Oh, was he? Okay. Hopefully not playing it safe. Hopefully taking some big risks. How was he? Well, he was only in the chair. He wasn't a competitor. Well, was he doing the laptop there? Yeah, he was doing the laptop, yeah.

And they were talking about words that begin with P and end with R. That was, he listed the pointless ones. So one of them was peddler. Oh, yeah. And he said, what is a peddler? He said to... I've to call him cyclists now. He said to Alexander Armstrong, like he'd know what a fucking peddler was.

I think the staff deal with those. I don't know. Mummy had so many of them. Yeah, I mean, but I thought that was a commonly known. Edgap was quite a bright bloke. So, I don't know. I think the word peddler is that. Yeah, I would say so.

Yeah. Smart peddler, you know. Yeah. Something we might get accused of. Is that a Swedish inside forward? Smot peddler. The great goal by smart peddler. Frank I'm a bit worried about as above so below.

Because it does seem to have witchcraft connotations as well and the occult is mentioned and tarot cards. Well, we actually did ask Alexa. What did Alexa tell you? She said, Azerbaijan is a country in a mouth. I'll get your fucking ear in sort of. She wants to have her, she wants de-waxing, Alexa. I don't want you getting involved with the,

I'm not getting involved. Alexa's got some serious opinions about Nagorno-Karabakh. You don't want to step into that particular quagmire. What's that? That's the disputed territory between Azerbaijan and Armenia, that Azerbaijan's always invading. That's what we get, I mean, for stuff like that. Yeah, but you know what?

He doesn't, a Sandy Mason can tell us about Azabov so below. No? It's quite right. Yes, so did we find out what as above so below actually means? No, I didn't want to delve into the Emerald tablet, I should say the wrong words and there'd be a manifestation. Well, in brief here, it seems to say, as within, so without. You might say, well, that's just different words, which is similarly meaningless.

But it says, as the universe, so the soul, it emphasises that internal thoughts shape external reality. What, we're some sort of a microcosm. Yeah. Oh, well. So she's into manifesting your... I don't know what she's into, but she was angry. I don't like to say, I don't know what she's into.

Well, I know some of the stuff. I know she dowses. She dowses. Yeah. Well, we all have to do that, dear. Yeah. This shows like sort of women's health from the 50s. But not normally with a big stick.

You want to find a good man. You've got a douse. Oh, she has a... Looking for water. Looking for water. Like a divining rod. Yes, that's a douser, isn't it? I forget which tree is they use.

Is it you? No, it wasn't you. It wasn't you. It wasn't you tree. I think they were all running off. Honey came in and she caught you red-handed, apparently. They had a stick and they were looking for people. They were, yeah.

Yes, because I did dowsing once. So I told you my former neighbour and godmother, Lindsay DePaul, she was very into all this kind of stuff. And she used to do dowsing. divining rods Well, Sandy's one of Sandy's closest friends is a professional astrologer Yeah

Wow Came round her house when I was saying He's wearing a fucking cloak Wow But that's what I expect from a professional astrology Oh God, don't get me wrong I mean, you know Yeah, that's great

Does what it says on the tin The only guys turn up to a cloak room And have the ontology I'm correct And the great thing about a cloak I didn't know a strong How much you let yourself go Yeah

It always fits Yeah, that's what Orson Wells always had one on. What colour was the cloak? Black as moon, black as midnight and a moonless night. He had a black cloak. I didn't know astrologers wore cloaks. Well, he does.

I don't know if they all do it. I didn't know they existed. I see them more as sort of sun and moon waistcoats. Do you know what I mean? Oh, no. I think you're thinking of Paul Daniels. No, I'm thinking of astrologers. Jonathan Cana, the late Jonathan Caner in the Daily Mail.

In his byline photo, he had a waistcoat with, um, Sort of glittering suns and moons on it. Well, Russell Grant, of course. He used to wear those kind of white scouts. But I think these guys are a bit more. Oh, they're more serious. It's Andy Mason into things like Tarrow then? She's into all that stuff, yeah.

I wouldn't have Tarrow in the house. Why not? I was against the religion. I just, I... Anyway, what else? If you're into Tarot, Frank's got your card marks. There you go. Oh, wowie.

However, you were. would have a cloak in the house. We know that about you. I don't own a cloak. I'll go as far as to say that. Well, we can get that fixed. Frank, do you want to know about my experience at the dentist? Well, you're going to. So I went to the dentist this week. I knew that. Oh, did you? Why? Because you just said you were going to tell me about your experience at the dentist. Well, I went to chat to him. It got like Colombo? Yes. You need a cloak next. Did he have a waistcoat with little teeth on it? He didn't. I went to chat. to him about my thinning enamel.

I don't know if you've noticed a similar thing with your teeth, Frank. It happens with middle age, but your teeth lose their thickness. Are you aware of this? Your enamel starts thinning out. Yes. My dentist said to me, your teeth are becoming quite seethru at the front. They're like 10 denier tights. He said, I can see your tongue moving about behind.

them. Some put a porn. It's a lot like 10. That sounds like some porn man. You know where I can see your tongue. I don't know if you ever been on a campsite and someone's got a torch on in their tent. That's what I swap my front tape look like with the tongue moving about. Like the carry on films.

So, well, I've hit the same problem. So I went to see my new dentist. It's a new one. It's very smart. And you know how I know it's smart? they're sort of an ambient spa scent that they pump through they kind of filter through into the atmosphere. It's been a big dentist if they've got an ambience outside.

Yeah, Christ. What a be, you know. The scent of lozenges. They pump it through the air and it's one of the, do you know what I mean? It's got little olive trees and the receptionists have reassuringly immaculate makeup. We lead very different lives. But you look sure.

You both look a bit bemused by a dentist. Well, my dentist, I've been. going to for many, many years. He was on the bill. He was on the bill. The first show I ever did, he was on the bill. It's David Badeil. He doesn't charge much, though, but he's promising. No, no.

So I could never leave my dentist because we've been through a lot. Well, I've always just been at a regular dentist. It's not that this, this. But his is more eccentric. For some reason, he has a bookshelf. And to be on it, you've got to be called Cooper or the word Cooper has to be in the title of the book. Oh, I like that.

And he's good at teeth as well. Yeah, he does all the teeth. It's got like Julie Cooper, John Cooper, Clark. Tommy Cooper. I like Frank's trip advisory meet. Yeah, he does all the teeth. Well, I should hope so. He's a dentist.

So he said to my wife, said to my wife, so you represent Daisy and Charlie Cooper, don't you? I thought, well, we know where this is going. Oh, here we are going. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he did get it. He's got them all. Is he got Dominic must be up there, I would imagine.

Dominic Cooper, I don't know who that is. It's an actor, isn't he? Yes. But has he got a book? No, but you don't. Surely there must be books about. You're just like a funco pop. A book about Dominic Cooper.

Oh, there's books about all celebrities, Frank. Did you not know that? There'll be a short book. There will be unauthorised. There won't be. Can we look that up? There will be. Right.

I suppose God. I want to know what the Dominic. Can you also see if there's any books about Dominic Cooper? I like the idea of sort of black market pirate biography of Frank Skinner. What they don't want you to know. Oh, because they do them all on AI as well now. So there's books for everyone. What Dominic Cooper wants you to know who he is.

He's very famous Dominic Cooper. For what? No. Have you ever seen a film called Mama Mia? The History Boys. Of course I haven't. That's why you haven't heard of him. He doesn't speak Italian.

Come on. Anyway, I'm at my dentist. Sure. And he's a young chap, because let's face it, who isn't young to me these days? But, you know, the dentist do get young. He's a young man's game. Yeah.

And I showed him a picture of me. I said, I'm a little worried about my animal he looked. He said, oh, me too. Okay. I showed him a picture of me. I said, I've thoughtfully brought along a photograph of me from 10 years ago, so you can compare them. Oh, I hope he was treading very carefully at this time.

He said, I said, I thought you'd be able to gauge the enamel loss. He went, oh my God, is that you? Meaning what, though? With such things. Things look very different. Now, Things was doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Things are different. Now, because he's a charming, lovely man, I'm going to allow him.

Are you an extractive? I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say things referred solely to the teeth. Right. I think he got away with it by saying things look very different. He couldn't tell from a photo that your teeth had got thin of that.

Oh yes, he can. He's a dentist. That's all, all, you know how you've said this to me before? When makeup artists watch films, they'll be focusing on the makeup. In the same way, the dentist, eyes go straight to the teeth.

These were close-ups and I'd zoomed in so he could see it. Oh, you never said you'd zoomed in on your teeth. I zoomed in like hair bear bunch with big teeth. So then, He told me, he confirmed I did have bad enamelos. I said, I don't want veneers because I'm just phobic about the thought of having my teeth filed down.

You know, they get the little Lego fence stumps you get. Oh, yeah, yeah. It just would make me ill the thought of that being in my mouth, just having little stumps. I said, I don't want veneers. So he said, okay, fine. He said, what I'm going to recommend to you is composite bonding. Do you know what that is, Frank? well I've heard some chat of lines in my time

That's in a certain room at Club 69 I think you're like composite bonding I think it's when I think I've had this Donned You definitely haven't No offense You definitely haven't I think they put stuff on to the back of your teeth

To thicken them No he's right But not at the front you haven't had it No Okay You're not incorrect Frank I owe you an apology. Okay.

It is. Next Tuesday maybe? Tuesday afternoon. You're right? Next year. Found me. You, it's a protective layer. Absolutely right.

Sort of almost painted over your teeth for protection. It's like, you can measure it, it's like putting a throw over a sofa. Yeah, well, for me, because my teeth had become see-through, it was a bit like drawing the curtains. So they went on the back of my teeth, just to thicken them off. So you've had the composite bonding, but was it a sthetic? aesthetic composite bonding. Well, it was on the back. Who knows what the back of the teeth looked like.

Why haven't you had it on the front? I don't know if they do this particular shade. It's yellow. It's getting catty on them. It's getting catty on the back. Oh, is that rude? They only had white when I was in there. You can walk me through this process.

I've got to get 11 teeth composite bonded. So my teeth, when you see them with the white on the bat, they look like kind of. Oh, okay, yeah. What's the toy? Yeah, well. Band in the United States. All right.

Yeah, there we go. Lovely stuff. But I was shocked when he started, when Dr. Lowe started listing. Dr. Lowe started listing. Dr. Lowe. Okay. If he's listing, I think you should have told him to sit down. Dr. L-A-U, I think.

He started listing the teeth enamel enemies. Oh, okay. I was shocked, guys. And I will have to avoid these. Even if I get composite bonding on 11 teeth. Did he mention Teddy Grice Herbal? No. I know what he'd have to say about those, Frank.

Because I know what I'd have to say. By implication. Dr. Lau says, yes, I've got mentionitis, that I have to avoid fizzy water. Sparkling water is out. Fizzy water? Sparkling water is terrible. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

How dare you contradict Dr. How? What's water going to do? It's one of the country's best universities. He's in the pocket of still water. That's what's going on there. He's correct. What university did you go to? It was a Russell Group University.

Buxton Spring. Rosses Group. Do you not know the Russell Group? A Russell Group universe. Have you not heard of that? It sounds like where you get a degree after 20 minutes on the internet. weren't you on a bill with Russell Group. You must be familiar with Russell Group.

So, yeah. Russell Group, you went to one. Is Oxford, Cambridge, Bristol. Durham? What is the Durham is actually in a different Is it not Russell?

It's in a group called the 1992 group. Oh is it? Why do I know this? Why? Edinburgh's a Russell group, I think. I think Southampton's a Russell group.

Is it? Yeah, yeah. It's quite big to Russell group. So it's about it's... Is it what we used to call Red Brick? No.

It's similar though. It's kind of... No, because Red Brick is more like Manchester. Who is Russell? Who is Russell? I don't know if it is. Who is Russell?

Yeah. Don't band it around. Russell group. They're very particular. objective over the Russell brand. No, but who's the Russell? Who is it? No one knows what the Russell is.

It's just always been called that. You've never thought. No. Where's the Russell come from? I don't know why it's called that. I think it's named after a guy called Russell. It must be. But who is that guy?

Because it was all of these university groups, they're named after like meetings that they had once in the 80s. Oh. So it would be like some guy called Russell organized the meeting. And then that university formed. It won't be that. Oh, we're all meeting at Russell tonight. It would be some really great grubes.

I found out what it is, Frank, if you want to know. The Russell Group is named after, and you're right, it is a fascinating reason. We should have looked this up, fools. It's named after the Hotel Russell in Russell Square. It's called this because the vice-chancellors of the various UK universities, they met informally at this hotel in 1994 to discuss it. They met informally, yeah, but they did. Yeah.

with some young ladies. That's when they just sat there and decided these are Russell Group universities. It could very nearly have been like the Premier In Group or something instead of had a sort of a double booking issue. Frank, it'll be delighted. Birmingham is currently in there. Adorable.

I'm not surprised. It was always red brick. It sounds like they've just changed the name. They've rebranded. Anyway. I don't know. I like how you're so shocked and pulled at every university that's in there.

It's very unbranded for you. like Birmingham? No, I'm not thinking that at all. I just said it was basically Oxford and Cambridge, but that's interesting. So, Dr. Lau has told me sparkling water, terrible for the enamel, Frank. Okay. Will you sound dubious about that? Well, where's the sugar and stuff?

It's not about sugar. It's not about the bubbles. It's the carbonated water. That's not good for teeth. That's like putting your teeth in an acid bath. Well, like Dr. Crippin. Or Coca-Cola. That is for the thing.

If you put a tooth in a Coca-Cola glass overnight, it'd have gone in the morning. Lem sip is the devil's worth. That's one of the worst things you can have, lempsip. Lempsip? Dr. Lau told me. Dr. Lau. Who's regularly drinking lempset? Frank Skinner.

Love a lemcite. What's wrong with a lempset? It's everything bad. It's got lemon, terrible acidic. And hot water. Even lempsip. Hot water and lemon is the worst thing you can have. This is the whiner.

is you take things that have been time-honoured and respected. Time-honour, lempset. Time-on-er. You're taking my lozenges. You're taking my lemsen. Churchill? Yeah. Fucking Churchill.

All I have to offer is a lemship sparkling water. Churchill, I believe Florence Nightingale. There was some negative stuff about her. Oh, was there? Yeah. Churchill. Has she been cancelled? Or lempsips.

Lepsip's been cancelled by Dr Lowe. Dr. Lowell. Yeah. Florence Nightingale would give you a lempsit back in the day. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. If you were a veteran of the Crimean War with a bit of a sniffle, she'd bring you one round.

God bless her for that. The lady with the lempsip they used to call it. And smoothies, forget about it. In fact, all fruit is bad as well. All fruit. So water, fruit and medicine. As long as you avoid water fruit and medicine, life will be sweet.

He's using his teeth. the way people drive a vintage Ferrari. Like, oh, you can't take it out and it's wet or sunny. You've got to keep it in the garage. Temperature control. But you also, we can't, we've got to stop this business of eating between meals. Because Dr. Lauer said, that's his bobolton. I have to start eating.

One could argue that having lunch was eating between meals. That's true. You should stick to. You know, where does it end? What's between? Yeah. Well, you should stick to three meals. Grazing is bad because that's when your tea.

because your teeth never has a chance to recover from the acid exposure. Oh, poor things. I always find this, though, when I... I don't be so cynical about everything that Dr. Lowe says. It comes up for me when I go to the hygienist. The hygienist expects you for your life to revolve around teeth as much as theirs does.

And I'm like, you just can't... You think about teeth all day long. Teeth are the least of my worries. Would you say teeth are the least of your worries, Frank? Well, what do you think? I'm looking at my... Does it look like I've been fretting over them? But I'm so impressed you had composite bonding.

I believe it's rumoured that Catherine the Princess of Wales has had very subtle composite bonding work. God, that could have doubled her white over night. She'll frank. She's had lead, but on the back of you. Okay, Middleton. Well, she's well now, so that's good. I'd forgotten about that.

Yeah, that's why I said it. Oh, come on, obviously it wasn't. I've got a story about my hygienist actually Oh I was hoping you got one about Catherine Middleton My hygienist is very Essex The reception area of my dentist is very different to yours

Do they pump ambient scent in? No there's no ambient scent The ambient scent is of Like a Polish man getting into an argument With the reception stuff That's the ambient Not that he smells Just that if that were to have a smell

That's what the smell would be Oh this is becoming impossible Anyway so then I go I go in and she's very Essex, my hygienist. Like, alright, baby, yeah, right. And then she's telling me a story about her teenage son.

Oh, what does she say? She's like, because obviously, I've got all the equipment in my mouth. So you can't really say anything. You're sort of like, but she tells these stories that like begetta response. And so she's going like,

Marty, it's terrible, right? So I go up there the other day. I said, look, this room of yours, yeah, it's a pig style, right? You're going to clean this up. You're going to clean this up. You're going to clean this up. Yeah, he's on the phone.

He's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. So I leave. It's just that saggy tip bitch coming in here again. And I walked back in there. I went, right, I kicked that door open. And I went, look, first of all, this ain't saggy. I've got all the stuff in my mouth. And I'm like, wow, good is that.

Well, I don't want to know what you were saying. Well, to be fair, not saggy. I've got quite a close-up view here. Oh, wow. She's great. Shouts out to her if you need a polish. Well, maybe I'll pop down. I'm very loyal to mine now, though.

Yeah. It's for life. So I'll keep you both posted. We did also talk about potentially getting braces. And I like the concept of that, because it's kind of anti-aging an older person with braces. You're screwing your face up like you've eaten a lemon. What's happened, Frank Skinner? I'm just listening.

Oh, that's nice. This is what I do when I'm listening. Oh, that's good to know. So I don't know if I'm going to go for braces, though, because they're a little bit. I don't know. Bit Michael Grade. Would it be weird? What about Invisaline?

Well, that's what they recommend. Can you not see them at all Invisaline? I have them. I've not got them in at the moment, but... Do you have them? That's why we can't see them. Yeah, but you can't see them. Oh, you're going to be my best friend

because I need to know your journey. You've got straight teeth as well. Yeah, I do have straight teeth. My teeth were quite straight before, to be fair. Although your teeth are also quite straight. They are, but, you know, we need... Oh, what's happened to this podcast? Well, the thing is my accountant recommend.

to me that I should get a line. It's all through the company, Frank. Oh, of course it is. It's not. If HMRs here listening, it's not through the company. What is HM? I don't know what that even mean.

His Majesty's Revenue and Customs. Oh, okay. A clever acronym where you don't have to change the acronym when the monarch changes. Because of his or her. Yes. Good. Cunningly devised.

Yeah. If you get to the Royal Opera House, I went to the Royal Opera House probably two years after Queen Elizabeth the second die. And they still had her monogram on the curtains. I mean, fair play. No, I thought, you've had a fucking good rod. Get it changed?

They've had it for 60-odd years. They've got the expensive curtains, those. It's not like they haven't got enough money. Do you reckon they're waiting Charles out? They're like, these curtains are like 30 grand. And he's on borrowed time. We're just, we're getting the William ones. They're going to wait for William and then just drag our feet a bit.

No, no, no, no, you majesty. They're nearly done. They're just finishing them off now. We just had those redone in 2018. We can't be doing them again now. No wonder Timothy Shalham. I got upset about it. Poor Timothy.

Was he upset about the curtains at the Royal Opera? Yeah, that was one of the things. He was furious. Oh, he was upset about the ballet and opera, yeah. That no one goes anymore. He wasn't upset that no one goes. He just said no one goes. He's upset that they still exist.

Yeah. I heard that this is a classic Oscars tactic where if you think someone might be about to win an Oscar and your film is in contention, you bring out a kind of smear campaign in the media. As I understand it, the big outcry about Chalamay's comments happened after voting had closed,

so it didn't actually. Oh, so it didn't affect the votes? Okay. Yeah, obviously people, you know, I can imagine the masses were up in. arms that someone was being negative about opera and ballet. I thought he said that no one goes. I thought it was the reverse.

He said it was that no one cares about it. Oh, yes. Okay. Oh, okay. I know what it means. I mean, I go to opera a lot, but, you know, do I care about it? I don't know. I care about, you know.

You're going for the curtains. Yeah. I go on like a nice tune. But, you know, I'm not lying in bed, worrying that it might disappear. All right? Yeah. Behind her. What else?

What else? Oh, I was in Glasgow at the weekend. Oh, were you? And someone came up to me at the show and started talking to me about Club 69. What did they say? The Glasgow area. They were like, how did they say? They said, we've been to Club 69.

Is this the actual Club 69? It's just a standard sort of nightclub. It's in Pays. Yes. It was a techno club. We mentioned it because someone had written in about it, so we mentioned it. I remember. And what did they say about Club 69?

They didn't really furnish me with a lot more detail than that. I was about to go on. But I thought that would be an interesting tidbit for listeners of the show to just really make the world of the show feel real, you know? Just the fact that there are listeners to the show I find still remarkable. They're out there. They're going to be at the Soho Theatre of Althamstow. Yeah.

In the middle of April. Well, we'll see. They might be at the early show They might be Yeah Have you got curtains drawn up for it Yeah, Queen Elizabeth the second I got these on a deal

From the Royal Opera House I wonder what they'll do with them Yeah Because they're massive I'm sure though I mean the monogram is as big as this room Yes Your next tour

You should be doing it in front of the Elizabeth Regina curtains I think That would be a great bit for you Yeah, but would I be able to resist the Regina jokes? Well, no, but that's part of the fun, sure. Yeah, I suppose so, yeah. Stitches in the Regina, I mean, it's a never end.

I don't need any encouragement. Something about the black box. Yeah, I know. No, stop it. Milo. Oh. My low. Listen, I'm going to tell you about the next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days,

which is out on Wednesday. We've reached 2013 at last. Lovely. And we're talking about New Year's resolutions. Timely. Yeah. I, uh, did I make one this year? I can't even remember, which means I didn't keep it, obviously.

Unless it was to forget about New Year's resolutions. Yes. Good point. God. Let it end. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing It's the Frank Skinner podcast

I'm not totally sure how it's going Thanks for listening to the podcast Make sure to like and follow So you never miss an episode And if you want to get in touch You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio Atavalonuk.com Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything

like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder any time. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.