The Frank Skinner Show - Lying in the Street

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by Ruth Husko. Frank’s been lying in the street, Ruth wants to know if people still smoke cigars, and Em’s had a dreadful experience with an alternative milk choice. If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? There are two men in my life. To one I am a mother. To the other, I'm a wife. And I give them both the best with natural shredded wheat. Okay, this is Frank off the radio. going on in your life recently.

I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosko. Follow the broadcast. Follow the bear. Follow the broadcast. I think it's sad before the Coetain's funeral. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonukk.com. What's up?

It's Frank Off the Radio and that posh lady. Oh. You can WhatsApp us on You 745-7-1-17-7-7-7 That is, I love that. It's my all-time favourite. Yeah, I don't want the listeners thinking that was one of our adverts, like for X to stick.

That we're doing a reed. Yeah, exactly. A read of a ketamine. Oh, no. Oh, no. I love that one. Yeah, I felt like I was in. a film.

I felt awkward for Frank because we were writhing around somewhat. It was like he was... Have you been in a film, Ruth? No. Okay. I have.

No. Have you been in a film? Not them aware of. You have, I think. I have been in a film. You definitely will have been. By glory, it was a bad one. Mine wasn't great.

What was yours? I know it wasn't too bad. It was a novel by... An adaptation of a novel by Doris Lessing. Okay. Or memoirs of a survivor. Oh, right. Okay.

Who did you play in the... I played... Well, it was set in a dystopian future. We were filming at the London Underground. And I was in another film. You know about this, Frank? SOS Titanic. Yes, I was at the top of the ship.

Oh, of course. I was in SOS Titanic, and it was awful because I had to go along with my friends from drama school. And they said, no, you'll be over here. It was literally like they were dividing us because I went to around the shows. All my friends were below deck.

It was awful. Yeah, two films. I was in Anel Academy 3. Do you know, I thought I'd seen you in that? Yeah. It was some of your finest work. It looked spectacular, by the way. I mean, I was a bit resentful that I wasn't original cast.

But, you know, you've got to tell what you can get in this business. The OC, an anal academy three. Anyway, great, great news. Great chat. I was in, I was in, I was in, London. Oh. And I was, do you know

Tottenham Court Road Tube Station has like an enormous visual display screen? Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about it. And you can play games in there and everything. It almost is something

if you're, people aren't familiar with it, it feels like Japan is what it feels like. I would say, I haven't done this yet but I've sort of kneelied on you. I went into town

with my child. And we had, I bet we was in there nearly an hour, just lying on our backs. Really? Really? Yeah. Wow. I didn't know there was that much to say.

I had laid on my back in the street like that for a long, long time. Speak for yourself. Surprised it. It's hard out there for a girl. In my drinking days, I could look down at the pavement and think, oh, my lovely coffee lie down that, look at a big four poster. Oh, imagine getting all comfy on the... And then I would, of course.

Yeah. But it was lying there for ages, just on the floor. It's called the outer net. Is it really? The out-and-net live. Oh. And they actually treat it as a venue. So there's an internet and an out-inet.

Reminds it of a woman I went out with. God, Frank, really? But is there any, like, cushioning on the front? Or is it just lie on the... All right, Emily Dean. There is cushioning. It's called flesh. You bring your own cushion in love.

Yes, they had some... Well, I don't have any problems in that regard with my junk in the trunk. You had the opportunity to hold a digital butterfly in the palm of your hand. It's things like that. You do it all... You do it all through your phone.

Immersive, yeah. Yeah, he was there, Paul, immersive. Oh, it's called the Outer Net, but then specifically what we're talking about is called the now. building. Is it really? The now building.

It was opened by Eckart Tolle, I believe. The power of now, very good. Google it. Yes. So it took me, it reminded me of two things. It reminded me of launching on the grass by manage. You know that painting? Oh, I do, Desirene a celeb.

When it's like, it's blokes, fully clothed men sitting having a picnic with a naked woman just sitting with them. It's the weirdest thing. Yep. think. But it was like that just the joy of sitting on the floor. Wasn't it a bit dirty? Christina Aguilera. Well, yeah, but I'm a bit dirty.

We and both know that's not true because what did Kath once say of you? Best thing she's ever said about you? Very clean. No, she said this. She said one thing I will say about Frank, he's absolutely immaculate. Immaculate.

Well, he is a Catholic and she knew that would go down well. But there's something else it reminded me of. And it was great. It was very communal. There was loads of other people lying on the floor playing this big screen. They recreated the World Cop. So you were given a contrary.

And then you had to try and score as many points as you could. So hang on. Do you have – how do you mean you have to score as many? Well, you have a console. There's one of those codes. Oh, got you. And you have your phone right. Yeah. What's the codes called?

QR. Do you know this one called an AAR code? Do you know that? No. Is there really? You get a, I can't remember what the difference of information is. But it's so black countries, isn't it an AARCO? You're a R. Anyway, you get a QR code and that gives you your team. And that's how you can use the buttons on the side to move your finger. Yeah. But there used to be a thing which has stopped, and I don't know why it stopped.

But if a player got injured in a football match and professional, the other players would just sit on the floor, sometimes just lie flat out on the floor and relax. Why did that stop? It was lovely. And it was like that. Yeah, they were so relaxed, Frank. Why was it?

They couldn't wait. If they both got injured, oh, they were all down. Like lying around like cattle. I think they were more honest back then. I think it's all too performative. athleticism now. You can't be seen to be doing that, you have to cry and kiss you bad. Yeah, it's not, it's not, that's not very brand on brand now. No, it was a bit like Victorian gentlemen cricketers, you know what I mean? Do you remember when Jacob

Breeze Mark sat in a certain way in the House of Commons? Yeah, he loud, yes, loose. He sat in a sort of Jeremy Kyle way, Frank. Well, yeah, but it was, it was very like those Those pictures of old Etonians sitting around. It was like that. That's how the footballers used to just sit on the floor. I don't see why they couldn't do it. It was nothing wrong with it, is it? It just goes against current brand values, I would say.

Yeah, probably. Do you know what I mean? Well, you think they won't get sponsored by just do it, are you? Nike. I'm just lazing around having a fag. Some would sit down on their elbows, but someone like, like they'd fell out of a helicopter. Just lying absolutely flat out These were different times

Ball blocs having a fag at the half time Yeah but you know Do any of them still smoke? Some of them might vape They wouldn't do it now They wouldn't do it. When I used to go and watch West Bromwich, I'll be in train In order to get autographed Did you ever see any smokers?

Every, every one of them had 20 emboes Tock top their t-shirt Smoking! On the t-shirt sleeve with a lighter as well Brilliant. There was only one, there was a nice one, Arsenal player who smoked called. Do you remember John Jensen or Jensen?

Remember him? Oh yeah, yeah. Brief and slightly unwise purchase we made. It's very open. He loved his B&H. There was a bloke called Jersen, I think he was cool playing for Brazil. He was apparently smoked 50 a day. Who was the manager? Perhaps we will find out. They're good for you.

I remember Ronnie Wood said to them. I saw Ronnie Wood was sitting smoking. I'd never seen cigarettes like these ones before. I said, you're still smoking one? He said, no, these are organic. Oh, yeah. You're all right then? Oh, Ronnie.

I love it. Do people still smoke herbal cigarettes? That was a big thing. Oh, God, I forgot about them. I remember seeing my dad smell. Do people still smell menthol? Smelt. Smoke men. Why is menthol ban?

Was it bad for them or something? It's been banned since the smoking ban because it was seen as too enticing for people to smoke. What the smell of mentholish? They were called mentholists. Some people complained about it. You can't say that anymore. So it was seen as sort of Eve in the Garden of Eden.

And that's, I suppose, why vapes have been. Well, vapes haven't been banned, I thought they had. No, they still allow the vapes. Yeah, but they've done something. They've changed the rulings around it. Right. Okay. I think you can only vape if you voted Brexit.

If that's, I think that. If at some point in your life, you've said the words, Leave means leave. Yeah, I think. Send them back. That's the password when you're buying them. That's why you have to put into the chippin. Please, could you enter password now?

Oh, yes, I'm so sorry. Leave. You've got about five options. Yeah, not our country anymore. Yeah, it's true. Oh, dear. What? Why did you suddenly say, oh, what?

I'm just thinking terrible, is it? What is? Whatever we were talking about, I remember. Oh, Brexit and leave means leave. And Nigel Farage, by the way, smokes Rothmans, but we knew that. Does he? Because he's a man of the people. I thought he was a cigar.

No, the Rothmans were... No, if he smokes as a guy... He's not a man of the people. That's like having a coaster stock to you a cop. No. People won't figure. I mean, Churchill got away with him, but no, I think you really think that bad, bad, bad. people smoke cigars.

I think you're right. What's happened to cigar aficionado? Who were they going to have on their cover star? They're running out of options. Arnold Schwarzenegger, they had. James Woods. Is it Woods? Oh, yeah.

Big, big cover star for them. Tom Seleck, there's a lot of NRA cover stars. Yeah, but in the UK, I think you have to be some kind of a magnet, don't you? To be smoking them. What do you mean? You know, you need to be someone who's made loads and loads of money. Oh, that's a magnet. Yeah.

Yeah, yes, I know what you mean. But power, it's all about power cigars, I think. Yes. They stink, you know, every time you smell. Well, that's why they like them. What magnets? No. No, that's why they like them because they think it gives them sort of main character energy.

Do you know what I mean? Look at me. You can't miss me with my smelly cigar. I can't imagine. It used to be a Christmas thing, isn't it? What is it? Yes, people would buy men cigars. Is that right?

Tom, thumb cigars for Christmas. Tom, thumb cigars for men. Yeah, a man, remember. So, like, your dad would not smoke a cigar? Never in a million, never in a thousand years. Did he ever smoke cigarettes, your dad? Oh, God, yeah. Oh, really?

Everybody smoked cigarettes. Oh, yeah. My dad said when he was about three, his dad stood him on the bar with a flat cap on and a cigarette in his mouth. As, you know, an image of a little man. I think that's so cute. Yeah, so just... See, if I replaced...

If I took that and I don't replace it with a vape, you'd think that's sick. Yeah. So just going through some other cigar aficionado cover stars, Sean Coombs. Oh, dear. Oh, right, okay, I'm seeing... And Bill Cosby, okay, that's...

Oh, okay, that's... Oh, somebody's proving the point, isn't it? Quite wrong. Although, ground show marks, I like. And George Burns? Yeah. He had more of a prop cigar, didn't he? After all those cigars, what does you expect, Frank?

And Tiger Woods, there you go. Well, look, we've got a few of them there. These aren't, listen, Frank, it's not our world and that's okay. Yeah. You're right. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to put anyone out of business in the cigar. Oh, no, let's not judge Bill Cosby and Sean Coos. Hey, look, I've played celebrity softball with Bill Cosby as my captain.

You're joking. Right, I did not know that. So where did you find you? And you did not know either, to be fair. How did I find you? What did you think of him? He was very friendly and sort of... I used to have a picture of me and him on the wall.

I hope you've taken that down now. No, it's had to come down that. Thank God. Yeah. Oh, Frank, I didn't know about this. That didn't work out at all. It used to be a good, though, conversation. No, it's a conversation piece.

For the wrong reason. But only if your door's been battering ram down at five. by him by the police. Oh. Yeah. We've all had to do it. I was watching that on the news. A few empty spaces on the old wall.

They're so good with the battering ramps those police guys because it looks quite a difficult thing to wheel. Did you see them on something recently? Yeah. What were you watching? One of cast police dramas. Oh, yeah.

You've heard of it. Yeah, but I like to get my news elsewhere. Yeah. I like to get it on TikTok, Frank. Yeah. From influencers. But it looked... Hey guys.

I thought I'd hate if there was a bunch of policemen watching me having to do this. You know, you'd do it, miss the door and all that, get your finger trapped in it. But this bloat, three big battering ramifications, and the door was off its hinges. Ramnification? Off its hinges, though. Do you know what? I would only admit this to you too, because it's a bit embarrassing. I actually find it's the most erotic thing I've ever seen was when,

a normal car, I don't know what it was, some Vauxhall or something, suddenly screeched to a halt, this is near Blackfriars, a guy incredibly handsome guy, and age-appropriate as well for me, grabbed this blue siren and put it on the top of the car and then sped off with the siren on. Yeah. I didn't even know they did that. Yeah, it's got a magnet on the back.

Yeah, I didn't know that, Frank. It was the most erotic thing I've ever seen. Honestly. But then I saw a Tory politician, and took it off and the whole car came up with it. No, well, I must have told us. We and Kath was in Victoria in London. And this police car screeched to a halt.

Oh, yeah. And this coppers said, have you seen a man with a samurai sword? And I went... No. And he went quickly! And I said, no, no. And they were gone. And I said to Kath...

So where does that leave off? No. And we walked, this is what sticks in my memory. We were walking back. And she said, I said, I can't believe we're just walking the streets. And we nailed as a man. This is a samurai sword. And it's not like a butter knife.

It's a bloody samurai sword. No, Samurai. And she said, oh, this is modern Britain, isn't it? I said, no, this is 17th century Japan. But they found him. We saw them. No. Did you see them apprehend him?

It was, you know, when they're face down on the floor and they got their arm behind the back, it was, it was, oh no, that's ritual sodomy. Right. Now, this was so... Why would you say that? I'm just, I'll get my images mixed up. No, but please don't.

It's awful. You could see the, uh, the lamplight that, the, um, the lamp post. The lamplight. Try to turn it into some dickens normal. But reflecting on the, on the samurai. And what was the, what was the, uh, what do you call him? A perpetrator. Defendant?

Yeah, perpetrator. Lovely. You watch 24 hours in police custody. It's all I watch. Frank won't watch that. Oh, it's great. He doesn't like the gritty side. I don't need to do.

Just go for a walk. Frank doesn't like the gritty side of life. It's not gritty. I don't like people. Gould. Yeah, he doesn't like the ghouls. I don't like ghouls wanting that stuff. I thought Cathode like that.

She does. She and me love it. And he wants nothing to do with it. She and I watch exactly the same programs. But she recommends stuff to me. She said, you've got to watch that. that Fred West document. No.

I will never, ever watch that, trust me. Really? I think I'll get on with her because I've watched all the Fred West. Have you? All the Fred West. Oh my God. How many seasons did they do of him? I'm listening to a podcast at a minute called The Affair podcast

and people come on and talk about either they've been cheated on or they've heard that podcast. Is that Anna Williamson? Yeah, Anna Williamson. Yeah, she's great. Not to promote another podcast, but, oh, it's great. great if you're a girl like me. It's really good.

Is it real people? Do they change their voice? Real people. Sometimes they change their voice, yeah. Really good stories. Not celebrities, no. Just normal people. Regular folk, as George W. Bush would say. Never met a ghoul like me before. I love it. I kissed a ghoul and I liked it.

The Halloween playlist. Yeah, it's great for the goals. Goals just want to have fun. Oh, girls. Okay. Do you want to hear from the outside world? Yes. I thought we were.

Were we not talking about the outside world? You were talking about the outside world at the Oternet? You were talking about the outer net? Oh, yes. Okay. We've got a couple of questions. I'm drifting and out of this. I'll be straight with you.

It's lovely. I'm really comfortable with that approach. You know where people drift in and out of consciousness? Yes, yeah. It was like my dad when my mum's friends were around. I've seen it, I appreciate it, I understand it. Scott wants to know, he acknowledges there's not much levity in this, perhaps you can find some.

What does Frank think of the upcoming release of PostScript as the final studio album of The Fall? Do you have any thoughts on this? Well, I listen to the single from that. They released singles? Well, there was a single from that album. Have you heard it, Ruth? Is it something that's just been released now?

I haven't heard it now. Okay. Look, I don't want to point the finger, but it feels a bit. It's had so many typical Mark E. Smith's moments as I wondered if it might have been put into a computer and said, record a fall single. Oh, dear, okay. Well, I could be wrong. Yeah. Well, no, I would.

But I think it was, what does Donald Trump call it Supreme Intelligence or something? He said don't call it artificial intelligence. We should call it super intelligent. Whatever it is, he called it. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah. Well, David... It fell to be AI, is what I'm saying. Did it?

Well, David Harris in Birmingham says, I was listening to John Robb's audio book entitled Punk Rock Ruined My Life. John Robb himself had a few encounters with Mark E. Smith. Turns out Mark grabbed John, went in to give him a kiss and bit hard on his life. lip, causing it to bleed and swell, resulting in him having to go to the doctors to get a

tetanus jab. I do love hearing anecdotes about people meeting their heroes, not quite working out. Yes. There's the one about the guy at a festival who got Mark, asked Marky Smith to sign his Tom Tom, did I tell you this? It's the drum. And he just put the bio straight through the skin on it. He'd be happy with that. wouldn't get Harry Stiles doing stuff like that. No. Do you know what I mean? Who?

Harry Stiles? No, he would. No, he definitely. I think he'd get a good encounter with him. But you're right, sometimes you meet the heroes and it doesn't work out. Frank had it only himself with Gene Wilder. Well, he wasn't my hero though. No, but you liked him, Frank.

Yeah, I liked him. But no, he was a knob. It's one for your pop bitch stories Can you believe that? They wouldn't put that in his obituary in the Guardian When I sent it in Anyway, you know He was good in those films

I suppose this is it I mean Marquis Smith It would be easy for me If I listened to one side of the stories To just think he was monstrous So you have to sort of pick your way through it a bit And your experience of Marquis Smith was largely positive, would you not say?

Yes. With some... Well, of course it's Marky Smith. It's always going to be a bit weird, Frank. It took me grabbing him and saying, Mark, I love you. Be nice. Yeah.

But, yeah. I think he was... I think there is a theory that... You know that thing we was talking about, I think maybe our fair, about people parodying themselves. Yes. Like they think, oh, yes, I know how I'm supposed to.

to be, so I'm going to be like that. And I think he became that Mr. Like super commodging. Yeah. Yes, they're leaning into their reputation a bit too heavily, aren't they? Yeah. I imagine people like...

You've got a message coming through. No, I'll tell you what I've got. There's a photo I'd like to show you, which I'm gearing up to show you if that's okay. Okay. You look very distressed about that. Well, I mean, you know photos on audio podcasts. Well, it's for you.

Well, I don't have to show you. the photo, but it's in reference to something I'm about to tell you. Okay. Okay. Can I tell you the thing now? Go on, tell me the thing. Fabulous. I want to tell you about when I went to see,

do you remember that lovely comic Harriet Kemmseley? I can never say her name, Harriet Kemmseley. Do you remember her? She came onto her podcast. I love her. Frank liked her as well, didn't you? I did. Yeah.

She reminded me of Goldie Horn. That's a fair comparison. Anyway, I went around to her house recently, Frank. and I met, she was on my podcast and I met her dog, Sunny, who she told me was a cabapoo, and I've met your dog who's a cavapoo, and I've got to be honest, I don't think it was a cavapoo. I'm going to show you a photo of it.

It looked like a sort of, and I was honest with her. I said, where did you get this dog? She said, I know people keep saying it's a sheep. It's not a sheep. She has been shaved recently, but I promise she's not a sheep. But you've got a cavapoo, Frank, and it's a proper size. So I need you to look at this dog. Firstly, I'm going to show it to you to establish whether this is a cavapoo.

I think she might have been done. Okay. To be completely honest with you. She said she got it from a woman in Essex. Okay. So. Well. And she said it was a cabapoo.

I thought he was going to say exchange it, Mark. Don't know where to start? Yeah. Don't know where to start. It did have a short back and sides recently. That's how she described it. So maybe that's why it looks a bit more, a bit more lamb and less cavapoo.

They are quite. Look, me and my son was taking the dog for a ward this day. There was a tiny child walking behind us with her mum and she went, fluffy dog. And it is quite, they're not really hairy, they're sort of wool. Yes. Well, anyway. They're supposed to be hyperalogenic, of course.

Well, they are. So they're sold in the area I live. They always sell them that way. I don't know the difference between dogs. You're going to show me this picture. I'm going to go out. Dogs and what people? Sorry, the breeds.

Oh, you don't know a breed? No. So you wouldn't know, for example, a Rhodesian Ridgeback if you saw one? You'd know the ridge. I would know a ridge. I'd recognize the tail, I think. Do you know a ridgeback? I think you did.

Yeah, I had one on a chat show once. Yeah, but you're quite familiar with High Prairie Drive Dogs because they were quite Birmingham. Well, everyone had a staff at Chibalderry or a mongrel. Or Whippets? Mongrel, yeah. Yeah, there was whippets. We had a wippy.

I know she's got a cat on your jumper today, which is like me coming in in a wolf shirt. And do you know, a woman came up to me and said, I love your jumper, and I said, thanks. Because I described this as man. That didn't happen. I, um, all right, dear. Remember that awful man on Twitter that set up a website saying that didn't happen? You know, when politicians saying, I was talking to a cab driver the other day, and I think, You're right. I lied. No, I'm telling the truth. She came up to me and what I love is I call this man repeller clothing. It's part of the man repeller collection.

Which I'm moving towards. But you don't know the Duke of Wellington seeing that. Oh no. Come on. I never wear my man repeller. Men hate these clothes. I never wear my man repeller clothing in front of the DOW. Yeah, the Duke of Wellington, of course. was... If I get a tenor out my pocket, I've got my sleepy, just cover his eyes. Bodycon on.

He was a victim of his own success because when Abba did Waterloo, they named Czech Napoleon who lost, but Wellington doesn't get a mention and he won it. There you go. He's done all the legwork.

Yeah, that's harsh though, isn't it? Poor DOW-W. I'll make him feel better. What was he called? Arthur Wellesley. Mornington is in there as well. Is it? There's a family name.

Oh, I know a lot about them. Yeah, just remember, Duke of Wellington. We know where you live, mate. One London, please, driver. If he messes me about. Yeah. I know where to find you, mate. Mr. D.O. Wellington.

Yeah. One London. That was like you on there. I know your address. Anyway, whilst we were debating. What was his horse called? Oh, I don't know that, Frank.

I don't actually know. If I remember rightly, it's called Copenhagen. Was it? Oh, I don't love that name. It's a bit unwieldy. Yeah, but I suppose he used it that much. Couldn't he go for something nice like Croatia? You don't call them, do you?

You know, he doesn't go into the stables and go Copenhagen. Come on, I mean, it's just there tied up. I'm guessing he won a battle in Copenhagen or something and named it after that. Oh, it'll be that. Yeah. They didn't call it things like fluffy kins or whatever. It was always related animals, but it was always...

Who know what went on behind the doors at number one. None of your beeswax. Anyway. Is there going to be a number one the north? Andy Burnham has already arranged that, hasn't he? Exactly. He's got a dog, hasn't he? Has it?

Lovely rescue dog, the Burnham's of God. Catholic as well, Andy Burnham. Oh, there's something in there for both of us, Frank. Anyway, this was really awkward guys, because Harriet is so lovely, and she said, can I meet you a cup of coffee? I said, absolutely more, or in English absolutely. Yeah.

She said, I've only got cashew milk. I don't really drink cashew milk. I didn't know that existed. I didn't, Frank. And I'm very polite. It's like getting milk out of, fucking anything. It's like getting milk out of a cashew. So I said.

It is so. It's honestly. I know. So I've, I've, I'll have brick milk, please. Do you have any? What isn't lactated at the moment in the modern environment? Hello? It's been a while.

Oops, sorry everyone. It's been a while. What about while? Biti. Yeah. Oh, don't, Frank. This is really great. Gross.

Anyway, she said, I've only got cashew milk. That's what I was saying to her cashew only the other day. Frank. Yeah. Stop it. She said, I've only got cashew milk. And I said, I lied. I said I love cashew milk.

It's my absolute favorite. Because I was so keen to please her and make her not feel bad because she didn't have regular milk or oat milk or whatever. So she presented it to me and it looked extraordinary. It was all swirling around. Oh no, I don't like that. Honestly, guys. I don't like that lava lamp.

It looked like there'd be an accident at the nuclear plant. It was awful. What gets me about this whole plant-based thing? Yeah. Is that someone must have sat in a boardroom and said, look, there's a lot of people now is allergic to dairy. What we need is to get milk from something that people are very, very, very, alert it to. What about

knots? There won't be anyone allergic. Who would have thought we'll go to knots for it? Fuck that. Let's get some COVID milk. I mean, who thought that was the safe bet? It looked so awful.

It's coagulated. Well, that's the problem. It was so swelling. And she said, does that look alright? I said it looks great. Oh. She walked out of the room. She walked out of the room. Not the yoke-a- plant.

It was worse, Frank. Do you know what I did? You gave it the dog? No. I went into the other room because she had a separate room, a lovely sort of nursery area for her kid. These comedians, they got more than one room. They're not in Garrets anymore.

Skin rolling, any? So I go into the nursery room and I type to chat GPT. I think so you gave it to the child. Just hold the nostrils together. If you taste this, my memory. medieval taster. No, I said, look, I met a friend. She's given me this coffee. Yes, you know obsessed time. I've got it here. I didn't think you'd have time to ask chat. She's gone upstairs. I have the copy of the message here. Okay. In case anyone doesn't believe me. It's, I said,

I met her friends. This coffee looks odd. And I do you think it looks okay to drink? Oh, you sent a photo of it? Yeah, sent a photo. I took it. I went like this, Frank. I took a quick photo and just typed it in with my Tom. Tremendous trust. Why do you think what trust of chat GPT? Yeah.

What if it's just said, oh, this is absolutely fine if it killed you. You know when they go

through people's phones for the last message was, I think. Could chat GPT have been in

the dock? Well, I'll tell you wouldn't like. I've got the message here, the reply, chat GPT,

and I'm very happy to put a picture of the coffee up, chat GPT, it's trying to get a bit cutsy now,

Frank. Is it? It's trying to get funny. Oh, no, self-parody. It's going, you know when brands do that? Like innocence or something? We'll sort of laugh at themselves. Oh, yeah.

Contains two ounces of compassion. It's like, they have a name for it. It's called whackaging instead of packaging. Is it really? It's wackaging, isn't it? So, chat GPT said, oh wow. Whankaging, I call it.

Oh, Frank, don't call it that. Okay. Oh, that sums up our friendship. And I love it. Frank, don't call it. Okay. I love him. That's why I love him. He's so obedient. Chat TPT said this, Frank. Oh, wow. Yes, I can see why you're alarmed.

That coffee looks like it has weather systems. So, you know, stop it with this, Chachis. Tell me the facts. Not a bad line, though. Oh, Frank, you're defending it. Why? I think that's all right. If a human being had said that, I thought, you know, it's quite a smart dude. A smart dude. I would have done, yeah? I thought I like the weather systems thing. The proteins are pumped together

So it looks deeply unappetising But based on the photo M It calls me M now Is how close we are Visually horrifying Quite possibly completely innocent And so in the end Because she said

But what's it told you? Well it's sort of saying It's fine to drink Well it's done it It's done 45 seconds of stand up But you're still facing a drink You don't know whether you can have it or not But you've talked to chat GPT

Don't you? But I don't ask it stuff like that Well, do you know what? I felt so guilty I told Harriet in the end. And I showed her. I said, I can't keep this to myself. That'll be a whole Edinburgh, Shorn. Chat, GPT did stand up on my coffee.

That's with the name of the show. It'll be an unnamed celebrity camera in my oath. And I gave me a coffee. I'd like to be upgraded to that. Maybe Michelle can pretend it's frank. But you know what? I have to say, I mean, I do think things are getting out of control would chat GPT. I could have asked a friend. I could have done anything. I could have made my own

mind up, Frank. No, no, I can see why you might want to go to someone who was, so to speak, all knowing. Yes, omniscient. Because then it can see the... Could I have chat GPT as my phone a friend? And who wants to be a millionaire? That's a fantastic idea. I mean... And also a brilliant philosophical question, because what is preventing you from doing it? It's my friend. It's my best friend at the moment. Could you have Siri if they wanted to... I could have that and Claude is my back off. Yeah. I mean, surely.

Yes, Jeremy, I'm ringing Claude. Yeah, exactly. Claude, what's the population of Minnesota? And it'll be exactly correct. No, then Claude will be on, I'm not sure. I'd like to ring Alexa. She's my other friend. Yeah.

I find she's a bit of a yes, man. Oh, okay. Okay. The next episode of Frank Skinner's, I don't need to think I'm reading this. What do you mean? Frank? The next episode of, this is the way I went,

yeah, it was a bit more a Stewart. The next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days is out on Wednesday. We're discussing the Radio Academy Award win for Best Speech Program. Oh, that was back in the day. Do you remember that? We won that Best Speech Programme. We was a music program. I remember that.

Oh, I don't remember. It was more. That's when you know your links are getting long. Oh, do you think that's what it was? And my role on Doctor Who. Oh. Was that taking us back to Perkins? I believe it was cheese and ham.

Your Perkins. Me Perkins. I saw your Perkins. Well, haven't we all did? What'd you expect? This temperature? Oh, Frank. Really? So... It was to end on such a nice note.

Yeah. You have to take it a bit blue again. Let's ask Chat Jeep. See what it would have said. I don't want it talking about me weather systems. It's a Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing It's the Frank Skinner podcast

I'm not totally sure how it's going Thanks for listening to the podcast Make sure to like and follow So you never miss an episode And if you want to get in touch You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio Atavonuk.com We're some see heroes

And others see egos Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion-dollar swings. The end of jobs, or the end of human struggle. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com.

Advertising on Spotify puts your brand in the moments where Gen Z fandom takes shape. They're 35% of our audience and spend two hours building rituals and shaping culture with every stream. Download the Culture Next Report to discover trends and insights that will inspire your next campaign.