The Frank Skinner Show - Maisie Adam

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Maisie Adam is our guest this week! Maisie comes in for a chat with Frank and Emily about her new tour, Whatsherface, her Taskmaster win and her Lioness tattoo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh ladyo And the one with the French name Who's from South Africa came They're all here open brackets to rain Close brackets today This is Frank off the radio I'm joined by Emily Dean

And guess what Maisie Adam is with us Can you cross piano of Ellie off of us? Oh, that's so. It's so soon. Yeah, it's exactly. But, you know, life... It's hardly out the building. Yeah.

And here you are. No, I think it's just overcast outside. It's gone. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonukk.com and in the WhatsApp department. You can WhatsApp us on... Oh, 7457-4-17-7-6-9.

Did you get auto-tune with that? I don't know. That was the early days of factory records. I've never heard. Have we played that one before? No, and now I see why. What do you think, Macy? Yeah, I think you could have kept workshopping it.

Yeah. But I admire that you went with the first take. I didn't make it. Someone took it and, like the Wambles, they turned it into something new. They make them for us. Yeah. Okay, wow.

Well, it was certainly, bespoke. Thank you. Welcome. Thank you, Maisie. It's lovely. Do you remember when we first met? I was trying to think about this on my way here. I can't place it. Now, where was it? There was a time when meeting me was something of an event. No. Do you know what, Maisie? Can I just explain? He's still a little bruised from Pierre going, so he will come out with things. No, no, I'm fine. We actually met at the Royal Variety. It was there. Okay. Because you you and David were coming out on stage with and let me get this right

two lionesses which were Jess Carter and Beth England because it was just after the girls had won Euros in 2022 along with I think Nile Rogers Al Murray and Leamack but also Spaceman Oh God

Sam Rider Sam Rider Yes Yeah that was a super group We should get the gang back together We're really sure. Also, I notice you just said Nile Rogers and you know that you're contractually obliged. You cannot say Nile Rogers. Oh, do we have to say, and she? You have to say and sheik.

Now, Rogers, and sheik. But he wasn't with sheik. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You can't. I like that you. Well, I thought it was just us. Sheik are always there somewhere. Yes. Do you know, we had this, earlier this year, I had some friends around at mine in Brighton for Pride. and Sister Sledge were there but when we googled it

none of the sisters were there as part of Sister Sledge and I don't know how you can get away with that surely that's just sledge Also it's like when the temptations they advertise to go and see them and his four random men have never had anything to do with the temptation

Isn't it the ship of Perseus? What's that? Perseus had a ship that was in so many ancient Greek had so many baffles Oh I thought this was another band that I missed at pride No, there probably will be one. The ship of Perseus. It must have been on earlier.

But it's had so many damage it's done to it in battle. Right. But eventually all of the original ship had been replaced. So it was essentially a totally... But was it still the ship of Perseus? Like the Sugar Babes, really. Exactly like the Sugar Babes. I think they base their career off the ship of Percius.

I think I've seen Mutiour say that. Mertier talks about it a lot. She does, don't she? Yeah. It's also triggers broom in... Only falls and horses. Because they say to me, so I've had this broom 30 years. It replaced the handle 12 times and the brush bit 15 times.

So it isn't really... Is it still... Does it take up the emotional space? Is it still the ship? Is it still the broom? Is it still sister sled? Is it cake? Is it cake?

Is it cake? Do you know, Frank absolutely loves that show, though you? Do you? Every TV. Really? Absolutely. I could watch it every night. Do you know what?

That makes total sense. I can really picture you. Yeah, he loves it. Like getting home in time for it. It's the whole family going, working your day around. Look at that one. It's Matt.

He's got a matte finish. That's the cake. They had a Halloween version recently. Oh, I missed that one. There aren't enough of them. Really? How many shows are physically? There's only been about six series.

Six series of Isit Cake isn't enough. No. You want more. I want more liars. Can we establish that Macy as a guest? People might think more old Macy's been roped in. I think God, they've done well. I thought she was on the way up.

She just was a starring and taskmaster. Yeah, exactly. She won it, in fact. She did. I'm not sure how. I mean, it was a total disaster from beginning to end, but I think I worked it out, essentially, I won because Sanjeev Baskar touched a cupboard door.

That was it. Yeah, there was a task where you could only open two doors. I mean, honestly, this political correctness. I know, it's gone bonkers. It's gone mad. You can't do anything anymore. I mean, a cupboard door. I know.

It's not Greg Wallace, is it? You don't know what was in the cupboard door. Oh, well, that's true. But, no, there was a task where you could only open two doors and they'd done it, they'd nailed it, their team, and I was on the team with Rees Shear Smith and they did it way better than me and Rees did and then to sort of celebrate Sandhief was like

I'll make a cup of tea and he opened a cup of a third door and that's his verboten and so they got disqualified Well I lost Did you lose Frank? I came second Oh who won who two?

Josh Whittaker won but the only reason he won by one point Oh that's annoying Yeah but it's even worse Because what they did They said that everyone had to count how many beans was in a can of beans. So he sat and counted every bean.

That's very joff. And then it turned out they'd only asked him as a bit of a leg pull. But because he'd done he, he got a bonus point. A bonus point that we didn't have access. Oh, hang on, that's... Wrong. Yeah. It should never have been a second series.

Did people write in? I don't know the answer. They wouldn't have told me, would they? Because I was saying it was an absolute injustice. I didn't want to get on to Freedom of Information Act. and you want to see how many people complain to offcom about that because you could have a case. Also, when are things that don't surprise me,

Frank saying it was a miscarriage of justice. But it was after. That really annoys him things like that. And you were your costume. Yeah. Well, I thought to channel a kind of victory mentality. I thought I'd channel Sandy from Greece because I love the film Greece.

Bad Sandy, though. Bad Sandy. Yes, Sandy at the end of the film. We don't like good Sandy. Not good cheerleading Sandra D. Do you like good Sandy? Do you know, this is, I'm not saying this for comic effect, but it's absolutely true. I cannot hear or indeed sing myself hopelessly devoted to you without crying.

I once said this to Ian Wright and he didn't believe me and I did it. He was absolutely blow the while that I just wept in front of him. I can't get through it. Really? How embarrassing. Is it when she's like staring into the little pool on the front of garden? Does she rip the letter? Does she do something?

No, she puts it in the water and sort of flutes it around. It's the way she tries to play down her upset by saying this heart was not the first heart broken. So I know it's happened to other people. I'm thinking, oh, Sandy, don't be big about it, girl. What do you think has had more of a, like, emotional impact on you and your life? Hopelessly devoted, or is it cake? If you could only have one in your life. Is It Cake is more euphoria, though.

I've never cried. You've never cried with joy at Isick Cake. You could argue that on Isit Cake, there should be tears. Yeah. I'm amazed that made you so emotional. If it was Is It Wedding Cake? Is it Wedding Cake? That's a series in itself.

Yeah, well, it could be. It could happen. But no, I've definitely cried. I always cry at hopelessly. But sorry, is it a banner. Do you like bad Sandy or good Sandy, though? I like, I like bad. I know I like good sandy best.

Oh, see, we like bad sandy. I like bad sandy. But I didn't go, I should have, I should have splashed out more on the outfit. So I think Taskmaster give you an allowance and I could have maybe got a real leather jacket and proper shimmery trousers. Yeah.

I got a fancy dress outfit that came to £9.23 with the postage. 9 pound 23. It was so flammable. and I've got quite long legs and the sort of leggings leggings they are kept sort of sagging round my bum so for like the first four episodes of Taskmaster

anything remotely physical that requires me to run round the house or anything my pants are just out like child in the school play no one told me about the clothing allowance I wore my own clothes It was like Friday afternoon at school Oh, really? You see, Rees Shearsmith got the actual coat from With Nail and I.

Like, he got, he tracked down, yeah, he tracked down the woman who made Richard E. Grant's coat in With Nail and I. Oh, God. And got a new one made using the allowance. That's how big the allowance is. But who wants to look cool on Taskmaster? Well, I thought I looked cool. I wanted to be Sandy because she, she is really cool. I know you like good, Sandy, but Bad Sandy's so cool. Bad Sandy's great. She wins at all costs.

How's it hanging stud? Yeah. Tell me about it. It's not how's it hanging stud. I think that's a very different film you've been watching. That's what Alex Horne said about your leggings. How's it hanging stood? Well, yes.

Visibly to the left. Oh, is it tell me about it. Tell me about it stood. Which she puts the cigarette out. We don't like that now. Yeah, she doesn't smoke at the start and she takes up smoking. She changes her entire personality, her entire dressing sense. she makes friends with people

who have actually been quite toxic to her but she wins and by wins I mean she bags a man which is not a great message to send so for Champion of Champions which I've had to go back and film I went with a different person from a musical

who I think is a better example no no no I went different musical different musical someone who really does well I thought about Annie but I didn't want to wear the wig I was Annie. Do you remember the thing called a musical?

That is etched into my brain. It was very Grace and Perry. Did you sing you're never fully dressed? I did, but the great thing about that was Annie doesn't sing you, but I still dressed up as Annie. Yeah. Yeah. I've never done drugs, but when I watched you sing that, I felt like I'd done them.

I enjoyed it so much. I think what was great is we were hanging about in rehearsal and I got the band to accompany with Tomorrow as well. just doing songs. You're just having a lovely time in a red dress and ginger wig, weren't you? Annie, I think, is probably my favourite musical. Yeah.

That makes you emotional as well. Well, Carol Burnett, as Miss Hannigan's phenomenal, isn't she? What about Levois? Have you seen this? Oh, did she do Miss? She's going to be, yeah? Oh, that's good. She'll be great as Miss Hannigan.

No, I've gone as Froulein Maria in Champion of Champions. Oh, and I've splashed out, so I didn't get novelty known out there. It's a sound of music. Yeah, I've gone full woman of the cloth. Have you? Well, she's very good because she runs up clothes using curtains and things. Exactly. She's amazing.

She makes clothes out of curtains overnight with no sewing machine and whilst singing a song about Thunder and Lightning. She becomes like stepmother of the year. She bags Christopher Plummer, who's a proper dish, and manages to bin off the Baroness who's, oh, and Escape the Nazis. We shouldn't mention that one. That's probably the biggest machine with actually. I am a Baroness apologist.

Are you? What you like, Baroness, what's her name? But then I also like the part played by Billy Zane in Titanic. I think she should have gone with him. Yes, really. Do you know, I can see that the first time I watched Titanic, I thought he doesn't seem that bad. All he did was order the land for her.

He's not that toxic. He did help her out the car. Do you know what to me? I was once judging a single longer sound of music costume. competition and there's a lot of non- Why? Sorry You just said that like it was such a normal thing to be doing

You were judging a sing-along sound of music I'm not good with central heating It's just to get out of the house I get rash It was lots of people singing the same song Or different songs to music When you watch it you all sing along with it And people call things out

So there's a bit where he's looking for Maria Terrant Stamp is it? Who plays the main? Christopher Plummer. Christopher Plummer is fun chat. So he's looking around for her and a voice from behind me said, she's in the gazebo with an 80-piece orchestra.

There was lots of that stuff going on. I love that. But anyway, there was a couple of Nazis come up for the competition. I said, how did you get here? What did they? We're dressed in beautiful. Yeah, they said we just got the boss. No.

Oh, you'd change at the venue, wouldn't you? Well, I don't know. You'd change the venue. I know. But I know what you mean then. You have to change out of it at the venue. My first crush was, what's his name? Rolf, Rolp the Posty.

Yeah. Oh, did you like, Roll. Even when he was a ternco. Oh, no, that's a cabaret. What was that? Frank. We have a stroke. Don't sing tomorrow.

It belongs to me. No. It's not. Let's face it. It doesn't. No, he's the one yesterday. So, no, before we go any further, I just want to say that Mosey Adam is going on tour.

Yes. She wouldn't be here otherwise. Singing all your favourite songs from the musical. Are you ever sing on stage? God, no. I've done a musical and that's the only one. That's the only time I've got. I should say a musical was a show

which combines a muse, as in to be amused, with musical. And it was a live show. And then they tried a TV thing and then they got me on it. Over in Bethanyl Green, wasn't it? It was, yeah, they'd just get comedians to come on in costume and sing any songs from music.

It's very enjoyable. It was. It was. Who did you do? I did the other one that I want from Greece, but I did half and half so I was Sandy on one side and Danny Zooko on the other and I turned and sang each half. I think I had a breakdown.

That sounds good, though. I'd have been happy with that. So your tour begins on September the 26th. It does. But 2020. Wow. Have you written it yet? No. It's in the process of being written. You know when you're still moving bits around?

Like you've got the pieces of the jigsaw, but you're moving around. But it's called What's Her Face? Yeah. Which I like. I once had a phone call from my manager and he said 17 dates are sold out. And I had literally written one joke for that tour. Oh, no. Did that give you a kick up the...

It did. It motivated me. Tremendously. Yeah, absolutely. But you're sort of, well, you've got a year to get it right? Yeah, I've got time. I've got time to get it right. But it's, I really like, I don't know how you feel, but I really like the work in progress.

Oh, I'd happily just do that forever. I love that phase of things. Some would say I do. Yeah. I just start charging full price at one point. I do enjoy going up with notes and just. Oh, I don't do that. How do you feel about that?

Because Frank is a bit purest about it. You don't like notes on stage. What, at a new material night or a work in progress? No, I memorize it. Oh, well. You knew not. Aren't you excellent, Franks? You just don't care.

Honestly, yeah. We've got no respect for the art form, have we? You should be in an orchestra. You know, I was at the opera the other night. The orchestra get the biggest applause, and they haven't learned it. They've just reading it off the thing. It really winds him up that.

It does. He's like, all these people have to learn it. Why should you clap the orchestra? You're annoyed that the orchestra is an off book. Is that what you're saying? It really upsets him. I'll tell you why, because I once saw an orchestra that was off book and it was better.

Was it? It's better to learn it. Would you mind if I just told the listeners that writing front of Frank on the table is a notepad and pen? Well, that's because I've got interesting Maisie Adam questions. Yeah. Oh, you haven't memorized them. I wasn't worth memorising for, was I frank?

No, well, I like to keep it free for. Interesting. but I wouldn't take them you see this if this was a visual something I wouldn't do it no I wouldn't go on stage twin notes really I think I do quite like especially if it's like a new

new night and people have paid you know a couple of quid to come in I write it all just a notes just like a word for each joke in black pen and then what I do is I just write in red pen I go up with a red pen and I just put a number out of ten on how big

the laugh was as it happened As it happens. Wow. And then on the way home, I get rid of anything sort of like lower than a seven and rewrite anything that's seven or eight. You see, I do that after the gig. Because I find the responses are burnt into me like a brand cow. So I can remember them pretty well.

They're still smoking when I went off stage. One thing I read about you, and this happened exactly to me when I started doing comedy. is that we both made the same mistake that we thought that you have to write a new set for every show. For every single show, yeah, yeah. I kind of really, really wish I still thought like that. I think it was almost counterproductive when I discovered,

oh, you can just keep rewriting the same bit until it gets better. But yeah, when I first started, I just would turn up with a new set each time. Do you mean every single night you're doing a different... I honestly thought, so the first eight gigs I did, I wrote a new set for each one. And then I did a gig with Joe Brand. I brought it. She came to Dodley in the West Midlands to do this gig.

And I just mentioned about, you know, so, you know, about, and she said, what have you written for today? Yeah. She said, what? I said, you know, you have to do like a different, she said, what? Yeah. She said, I wouldn't be doing it if you had to do that. Yeah. And then I got a regular comparing gig.

and I did have to write a new set every week because the same people turn. Yeah, of course, yeah. I think Comparin's one of the best things you can do for making you write new stuff and keeping match fit. But yeah, I was the exact same. I remember like, because on the open mic circuit

you bump into the same people all the time, right? You come up through a certain, almost like a class, isn't it? Well, I've never really done that. Oh, really? See, I just go and do an hour of completely new material. Yeah. In a little club somewhere. But when you started out, were you not coming up?

amongst the same, seeing the same faces as you started to gig more and more. Yeah, but not, there was only at that period, we worked it out, there was 35 comedians making a living from that kind of comedy. Yeah. Now there's about a million. Yeah.

Yeah. So we definitely saw each other because there was no one else. Yeah. Quite a tight-knit group. Yeah. But I remember like bumping into some people that I'd come up with

and they were doing the same set from, like, and it was like a week, a week later, and I was like, oh, oh, okay, I see now. Yeah. Yeah. But I think, yeah, it almost made me take my foot off the gas a little bit. I'm like, oh, I don't need to keep writing, but you do. You do need to keep writing.

Well, so there were, I don't know if this still exists, but when I started, there were people who'd been doing the same 20 minutes, literally for 15 years. Yeah. There's a, I can't remember who it's about, but there was a story that was told to me of like there was a guy who had a set about I was in Blockbuster the other day

and then it became oh I got this DVD the other day and then like I think he's still doing it now going on Netflix the other day and saw it. It's just moved along with the technology but it's the same set. I know a guy who did a Welsh TV show he was a Welsh comic and he did it with it

and there was a guy called Mike Doyle who was a mainstream and he said Mike Dahl said to him he got some what topical stuff you're doing and he said

Oh you gotta do topical He said They love topical And then he went on stage And he said These storms have been Blumin awful storms They blew the roof

Of the pub near me I went in that pub Two Irish blokes came in And he was just doing No Dressed as police Just dressed as topics You've got to

He found a way. He found a way. He found a way. He fell on high water. He was going to tell that joke. Respect. Are you on, are you allowed to mention? Are you on the next last one laughing then?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We could talk about it. It's announced. It's out there. It's a good show. It's a great show. Yeah.

But you can't. say what happened? I can't say what happened but like I can say who else I was on with Alan Carr obviously straight off the traitors he's having a lovely time at the moment and you know from watching that you just have to look at Alan

and he opens his mouth and it's really hard to laugh Alan was really difficult to be around my son's favourite comedian yeah he's just so good Frank he said what does he say to you Frank he said I you know I like Alan Carr better than you

A comedian. I mean, it is nice, though, to not be, like... My mum said the other day, she was like, she'd gone to go and see Jen Bristair at the day. And she was like, she is my favourite comedian. And then very quickly, he was like, apart from you, of course. It's like, you don't have to say that, mum.

You can have a favourite comedian that's not made. I didn't get the apart from you, but... No. He just got that. Oh, David Mitchell's in it as well. David Mitchell. But he was... He was different, because David Mitchell is dead panel.

the time. But he's so funny. Yeah, yeah, but if you think, like, when you say something on Would I Lie to you, his whole thing is that he responds with factual logistics. Yes. Rather, whereas I found the people that were most difficult to be around were the people who were also on the verge of giggling. Like, you know when you're at school and you're not allowed to laugh,

it's immediately ten times more funny. It's so much more funny. It's so much more funny. When someone's, like, stifling, not laughing, look, you're off now. So Alan Carr was difficult. Mel Gidroyk was absolute, like, dynamite to be around because she constantly looks like she's done something really naughty

and can't wait to tell you about it. So I would start talking to Mel and then literally just have to turn around and walk in a different direction because she just, it was just too... The deadpan people were fine. David Mitchell, Ramesh, Ramesh, Sam Campbell, all quite, their whole thing is that they don't, oh, I don't go, what's so funny, you know, but the gigglers were difficult.

And then Bob Mortimer walked back in from season one. That's how funny being brought back. Yeah, I didn't realise it was Winner stays on. I don't think it was, was he? I don't know. I thought he was so marvellous there to bring him back. Yeah, and his cadence of talking is, you'd just start laughing before he's got to the punchline.

I only realised the other day that he's written like three. I didn't know he'd written any novels. Oh, his novels, they're great. When did that begin? Has he just written three in a week? I've never heard of them before. Some of there's three in the top 20. What are they, murder mystery?

He writes novels like we were writing sets when we first started. He thinks every time you touch a book, you have to write it. He doesn't know that more than one person can read it. He has to keep churning them out. No, there was no Bob Mortimer books And then there's three in the top ten You're right, there was one on fishing and the dog And then...

Oh, I didn't know that one. What's it called? Something about tangerine. It's very good. There's one called The Long Shoe. They all sound very good. I mean, if this was a book podcast, it would be the worst. I think there's one called the Long Shoe.

You know the Long Shoe and a Tangerine? I think so. There was a... Next week on the Book of Judges. But there was a big selling thriller called The Long Firm. Do you remember that? So I remember looking for the last word on the book. The Long Firm What?

But it's just called The Long Firm. I don't know what it's about. I think it's a classic. Frank, do you know? A glowing review. I always, Maisie came on my podcast. We went for a walk with Ray.

We did. You don't have a dog of your own. I'd love one. I don't know. We have my parents. Guess what? We've got you one. The ultimate, most podcasts, they sometimes give you a mug.

You go on here. It's dead. to be fair. A dead dog. Frank. Sorry, carry on. Do you like Anna, you like Ray?

Oh, yeah. Ray's a legend though. I know. Don't Hilget Frank gets jealous because it's Poppy's his dog. Well, I can't comment on dogs. I don't put my kid on camera. I don't put my dog on camera.

No one's asking. You told me a story which I absolutely loved about, and I think of you every Christmas because of this, every time I see a nativity play, I think of you. Can you please explain to Frank what you did in the school nativity play?

Yeah, just like, when I, I think I was, I think it was in infant school. I was maybe like five, something like that. And I got, you know, they have like the really tangential roles because they have to make sure everybody's got a part. I was the wife of the wise man who brought me. Oh, okay. Old mar mur. Yeah, old mar mur.

Yeah. Actually, I didn't have a name, but I wish I had. Old Mar Mur in the program would probably have been, quite a keepsake but um so yeah it was actually quite a full it was very full in because all the all the wise men had a plus one it's almost mrs merton is it nearly just mrs murch yeah you could have had a chat show in which you interviewed all three of the wise men that would have been such a better Sponsored by Rootmaster

That's good because I've never seen them with their wives No exactly I like they include the wives Well they did include the wives but we didn't have lines Queens They're not really cute In some it's the three kings and in some it's the three wise men But we were definitely wives of the wise men

Wise wives. So hang on you were the wives were on stage we need to establish I think the wives were fellow academics. Yes, yes. We had PhDs. They were on stage, but crucially, they didn't have lines. Only the three wise men had lines. So we had to, each of the wives had to stand behind their husbands

because this was 1998, that's where it was back then. As it should be. Yes. We didn't have the vote back then. But basically each of the wise men had to step forward and say what they brought. And I think it was probably the first or earliest indication that I liked being on stage because in the old VHS video that my mum and dad have,

the first boy steps forward and says, I bring you gold and then the second boy step forward and said, I bring you frankincense. And then my husband went to step forward and I took the mirror off him and stepped forward and went, we bring you myr together. Oh, brilliant. And yes, a lot of people talk about Emmeline Panker.

but they don't talk about me as Mrs. Ma. No. I love that moment. I think he did a lot for the cause. I was Lee Shepherd in mine. You were lead shepherd? Lead Shepherd. Tea towel?

Oh yes. Yes. So when we got in, she said, right, when you go on stage, Mrs. Knight, now Miss Knight was the headmistress. She said, when you go on stage, you gather around the baby Jesus. So someone hadn't put the baby Jesus in.

the manger. Oh no. It was still in a crisp box at the back. So I went knelt next to that and all the other shepherds knelt around it. She went absolutely ballistic. But you were just following order. Exactly.

Baby Jesus, she said, not manger. Yeah. So, but no one had prepped a manger, so to speak. But I, she grabbed me by my ankle, I remember, and lifted me up. And I swung around. Oh, I don't like this story. And my hand went right.

right up her skirt and I felt the top of her women were stockings in the story. I know. It's a really weird story. She grabbed you by the ankle so much that you swung round under her skirt. Yeah.

And my hand touched her thigh. Oh God. And she went even more. I mean, it wasn't made. She got angry at you for touching her thigh even though she touched your ankle and swung you asunder her. Listen, no one comes out of this world.

Listen, I was a victim of gravity. I'd done nothing. How do you, how does she, I'm trying to work out the positioning. She grabs you by the ankle, swings you so hard that you go up a skirt. I'm imagining it like a gungy jump. She peeped me up. So I was upside down. Yes.

Did you clutch onto the stocking top for left to purchase? No, no, I could, I was horrid. I can still remember the clamminess of it. Oh, don't, Frank. You don't need to do that. Is this night's clammy stocking? Yeah, Miss Knight. I love that.

I'm not even worse. Oh, dear. Yes. Yes, it was. And she started really hitting me as if I'd done, you know, I'd knelt in front of a cruise box with the baby Jesus. Is that what you call it? And then I'd been swung into someone's gossy.

And I was the bad guy. Yeah. I wonder how she tells the story. Well, that Frank. I suspect she's no longer. Yeah. Even Frank's girlfriends at the time and no longer one. Now, most of them are no longer with us.

You see, I wish I could join in with my own heartwarming nativity story, but given that I grew up in North London, we were doing the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner. We genuinely did that one, Chris. Really? I was a wedding guest, thank you. The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner? You'll have to fill me in here.

Well, you did that. Do you know, alone, alone, all alone? Alone on an open sea. Have you ever heard of that? It's a epic It's based on it It's a long poem By Coleridge

Right And they You'll have heard some of it Water water everywhere And all the board's different Do they all start with the same word twice? A lot of them Alone Alone Water Water

What were your lines? Hello Hello No they turned it into an operetta So we had to sing it Oh my God We went to very different schools It's brilliant You'd like it

What's it called? You'd really like it The rhyme of the ancient mariner. It's on Netflix. It will be. Okay. I'll tell you what, it used to be a,

you're a football fan. It used to be used as a goalkeeping joke. Yes. They would call goalkeepers he's a bit of an ancient mariner because the poem begins, it is an ancient mariner

he stop us one in three. And that was the idea there was goalkeepers that only stop us one in three. There you see. It's everywhere. That is a high brow football joke, isn't it?

Well, West Bram, I find her a bit more highbrow than Leeds. Yeah, we're just like, oh, shit. Yeah, exactly. Have you still got that boiler man? What happened to him? Boilerman? Yeah. Have you still got Boilerman?

The cuddly toy. Yeah. Yes, that's our mascot. So you, I read that you got a tattoo on while we're on the football subject. I couldn't. There you go. I thought, when I first read it, I thought you'd got a tattoo of Georgia Stan.

No, I think if I did that, she'd be very well within her right to get a restraining order. But in fact, well, it's even stranger. You've got one that was done by George. Done by her. You do hear of many football tattoos. Lots of the lionesses have like sort of... Tattoo parlours.

No, but like extracurricular kind of really, really cool hobbies, I guess, or intract that are a bit sort of different. And Georgia Stanway, she learned to become a real proper tattoo artist. And she plays over in Munich in Germany. So she learned it in Germany? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she can only do it in Germany. So.

So, but she very kindly came on the podcast I do, the women's football podcast I do with Susie Ruffel. And this was last year. And she had an injury at the time. and she said, you know, obviously the Euros is next year, I'd love to be in the squad, but don't know, given my injury. We were going, of course you're going to be in the squad. And then we were kind of like having a joke about it.

She said, I'll tell you what, we'll make a bet. If I'm in the squad, I get to tattoo you. So I said, yeah, absolutely. Like, not every day a lioness off to tattoo you. No. So I said, yeah, great. And then, of course, she did make the squad. And not only did she make the squad,

she went and won the Euros for a second time. Oh, yeah. with the lionesses. So, yeah, about a month ago, we went out to Munich and she took us to a game, which was really, really cool. And then I just went and got a tattoo.

I didn't know what to get, so I got a football in a little outline of a house for like football came home. You must know that song, Frank. I've heard of you. You must know that, Frank. Yeah.

Frank, sorry. Has she done the other, because what she should have done is tattooed the others. You know, you know, in Lord of the Rings, They all had the same tattoo to show that they were part of this unique experience.

Jill Scott has a Olympic ring tattoo of the five rings and I think all of the girls from that squad done by Georgia Stanway? No, no, no. I think Georgia would have been about 12 at that time but they all did really well. They've got to learn.

Start them early, I'd say. Yeah, I think she has tattooed a lot of other of the lionesses. She's like, but I think some of other. They should have had a Euro's winning tattoo. Yes, I think most of them do. Yeah. Collective tattoos are the way forward, definitely.

Yeah, yeah. But that is brilliant. Isn't it great, right? It's very, like, I was quite, I was a big brave girl. I didn't cry once. Is it your first tattoo? Yeah, yeah. And everybody was like, oh, you'll get the bug.

No, no. No, I won't. No, because I've got it because of who's done it. Rather than, I didn't, I haven't been absolutely dying for a football, in the outline of a house to appear on my arm for the last 10 years. No, but it's, I know what you mean. I'm not going to go down to a local studio

and start tattooing. I don't have one, but if Orna Hegobo offered to tattoo me, who is? He's the West Brom Centre Forward. Yes. I'd agree to it. Because I don't know anyone who's ever shown me a tattoo

where the real story is who did it rather than the tattoo. Yeah. The Inca. I know. It's quite weird. It's by, Yeah, it's by somebody who's achieved it, but she's put it on. She's put her achievement on me.

It's absolutely nothing to do with me. So when people go, what's your tattoo? I go, oh, it was done by someone who achieved something in her own career. But I really liked it. I've not really thought of that before. It's like Georgia Stanway deciding to ask me to tattoo, like my tour poster on her, isn't it?

It's got nothing to do with her. I met a guy who had me, a tattoo of me. Oh, really? As he said, here it is next to my ex-wife. I remember him saying that. Where was it on his body? It was just...

Like a picture of you or the words Frank Skinner. No, it was a really good likeness. I recognised the picture. I mean, they'd done the shirt, the Czech shirt on the picture. It was a really good likeness. And he got me to sign it and then he went and had that tattooed as well.

But next to you was a picture of his ex-wife. Yeah. And where about... Who hasn't signed it? Was it, Frank? Was it near his shoulder? It was up up on his sort of right breast. But the wife wasn't crossed out or anything. So there's a picture of his wife and then just a picture of Frank Skitt.

You must have looked like a couple. Well, he said to me, I think of my body as my inky diary. He said, so though I'm not with her... That's a strange sentence. No, I'm not with her anymore. I think of my body as an inky diary. Yeah. We're definitely going to see him on a documentary.

Yeah, I hope you didn't accept to lift home from him. Oh, God, we've come to the end of the podcast. Oh, wow. I have so much more on my notebook to ask you. And your pre-prepared notes, Frank. Yeah, my pre-prepared notes. Well, before you go, I do want to re-emphasise that your tour, what's her name?

What's her face, Frank? Oh, God, what... God, this is why you have to read your lines. Sorry, if it was my tour, it'd be called What's his name? I forgot you. That tattoo would come in handy for you these days, isn't it? And that starts in September 2026, but tickets are on sale now, aren't they? They're on sale now, yeah, yeah.

And there's probably a website. Oh, there's a website. We're living in the future. Maisieadam.com. There you go. I'm going to go and get them. I've got it up here. And some are selling out great and some are taking their sweet, sweet time. Well, let's not identify what they are. Can I ask, yes.

Is there any one particular one you really want to push? Yeah, I tell you what, I tell you, there is, Plymouth. The last two tours I've done, I've not gone to Plymouth. And my comments are always full of, why aren't you coming to Plymouth? No one ever comes down that far. Why aren't you coming to Plymouth? So this time I said to my tour manager,

we need to do Plymouth. We've put Blumming Plymouth on and it's crawling. So, Plymouth. It's not enough in the audience at the moment to make a band. Plymouth, the Quad Theatre. Plymouth. You need to sort it out. Honestly.

Some, I've had two at dates like this and suddenly they accelerate. I don't know why. It's always the ones that are like a big mission to get to as well, in it. You're really travelling for. You're putting them off now. Sorry, be nice. I can't wait to go to Plymouth.

Frank, if you said, where you can get the tickets at Masey Adam. Yeah, well, Macy Adam said it. Maisieadam.com. Yes. Yes. Okay, so get those. Go see Masey and you know what? I want to remember about the Royal Variety just to add this.

Maisie was my inside man on that thing because she was sharing a... You won't even remember it. She was sharing a dressing room with two sisters who hung by their hair as their act. And I took pictures of these women's heads and zoom them, me and my kid, trying to find some sort of support wire.

But it just looked like we're hanging. And then Maisie said to me, as soon as they got back into the dressing room after they done their act, They put ice on their head, so it must really... So they really did hang by their hair. They really were hanging by their hair. It was such a weird dressing room

because there's not enough dressing rooms for all they actually have to share. So I was in with two lionesses and two women who hung by the hair. It was so weird. I once had to leave. And then Frank's there with his Maracca's going with three lions. It was like a fever dream.

Oh, was that the Air Balls one? No, no. That was the Queen's birthday. Oh, yeah. He did Queen's birthday as well. I once shared a Royal Variety one with Michael Flatley and he used so much hairsprite

we all have to get changed in the corridor we couldn't breathe in there it's such a weird vibe backstage it's so I remember being so nervous and I was going over and over and over my set and then behind me somebody went excuse me I must get through and it was Simon Cowell

and I thought it was a wax work I've never seen someone like it up close he was very nice but smaller as well than you think Was he? Oh God he's like a polypocket Frank said he's got hair like black shredded wheat because it parts. No, but he had a big giggling fit on stage, and I thought, I wonder what could have caused that.

Yeah. It's just an odd vibe backstage. What about, I'll let you do this, Frank, but when Frank was at the Royal Rarkey, and the Queen said, come on, Frank, come along, Frank. No, she told me to hurry up. Hurry up, Frank. What did Prince Edward and his,

because the one we did, it was Prince Edward and his wife, Sophie, and they said something to you and David. She said to me, She did put her foot in it with you too She usually do places Oh that's right, yes She said, have you ever done any way of this big before? It was awful, I loved it

I said I did the... Me? Sorry. Is that your podcast over alarm? It's me. Sorry, yeah, sorry. Sorry. I used to be massive. No, what did she say to you, Princess Sofish? She said, but I said, no, I'm a stat, I do live stuff and she said, yeah, but not places this be.

And I slightly, pathetically said, I did Belondopaladium on Wednesday. Yeah. But, you know, you don't want to be, but she sent me a lovely note. She sent me a lovely note. Well, did she? Yeah, I didn't mean to offend you.

Oh. Yeah. Nice. I never got a note for many of them. No. Just in a WhatsApp group with the ladies in half and the hair. At least you remember I was there. Oh, give over.

Anyway, look, the next episode of Frank Skinner's radio, days is out on Wednesday. We're in 2011 for our best bits and this time we're talking about things that make us cringe. Masey, it was lovely to have you on. Always a pleasure guys. Such a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming. Good luck with the tour and with your

blooming career. That was blooming us and it's doing well rather than Dick Van Dyke in that Mary Poppins. And your blooming career Maisie? We've crammed so many musicals into this I really like it. And it's all the better for it.

Well, it really is. Shall we end with a song? So long. Farewell. I'll be there's a good night. E, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e. It'd be great if we all left, like, that one of the time, but let's not. Next time we do this, can we all wear the same outfit made out of curtains?

Yes, bags choose them and not bag. Only if it's joined, like a big pantomime horse. Yes, and I'll wear the helmet. Is that the frog from the Muppets? Mind your own business. Oh, and by the way, next week we will be joined by Anya Magliano. Remember her? It's Frank off the radio.

Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at avalonuK.com.