The Frank Skinner Show - MI5 Safe House

Episode Date: August 8, 2025

Steve Hall joins Frank and Emily this time! Frank has been doing a week of press and there's a novelty pencil update. Whatsapp us on 07547 517 769. 🌎 Get an exclusive 15% discount on your first Saily data plans! Use code frankoff at checkout. Download Saily app or go to to https://saily.com/frankoff ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Searchlight Pictures presents The Roses, only in theaters August 29th. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things, comes The Roses, starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Samburg, Kate McKinnon, and Alison Janney. A hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses only in theaters, August 29th. It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh radio, and the one with the French name were from South Africa came.

They're all here open brackets to rain. Close brackets today. All righty. Spreading all the light all around. It's getting a bit dangerous that sound. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Steve Hall is with us today. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the radio at Avalonukk.com

or you can WhatsApp us on... Oh, seven, four, five, seven, four one, seven, seven, six nine. Oh, seven, five, seven, four one seven, seven, six nine. Very, very nice. Steve all loved that, Frank. Yeah, I was grooving to that. Now, welcome to the show, Steve. Oh, yeah, nice to see you.

I'll be honest with you. Oh, I hate it when you're honest with him. Well, the reason that you're here, and we've got to say other people here in the next few weeks, is because Pia Novelli's at the Edinburgh Fringe, being very well reviewed, I might say. Is he all? I heard that he got four and a half stars

in the neurodiverse review. God, I'd hear he's picked his lane, hasn't he? But a half star will be triggering to any OCD subscribers. Oh, that's true. It's very untidy. Yeah. Anyway, so he's doing great, which is good. But I thought, see, when we discussed who to get on,

I sent to the producer who isn't here today because her baby's having the first birthday. Her daughter's birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Zanthi Ray. But I said, I don't think Steve will be doing it because he's doing, if you loved me, you'd breathe quietly at the Edinburgh Festival. Oh, which is what it told me he was doing.

I thought you meant Steve wouldn't be doing it because last time you had a go at him for lying about a shooting star. Well, I don't think that was as big as I do loads of funny jokes you don't hear on the show. Oh, Frank, will you stop her? You brought it on. I did. You're absolutely right. I do. I love how these occasions...

We just swim in nostalgia from barely remembered episodes. But anyway... Oh, that was remembered. So, this isn't a touchy subject, is it? So Steve was going to be doing a show with his wife in Edinburgh. Yeah, so what that was,

it was... We just did it as a preview, but we did it as a preview. That's an interesting idea of just doing it as a preview. So we performed it at the Oxford Comedy Festival, which is most of the shows are for people heading up to Edinburgh but there was a gap and so we'd said look we're not going up to Edinburgh

but we're doing we're running this in and so we did it last Thursday and it's only the fifth time I've ever done a show with my wife how was it? I've never done a show with my wife and do you know what? Cathy is very funny I think you'd be a very good double-out

well you've done a podcast with Kath he's appeared on the podcast well it was her podcast right her and her sister Rachel had a siblings podcast, and me and our Keith was on it, yeah. But, you know, working with family. It's a bit like teaching your partner to drive. Do you think it's best not to work with family? Yes.

Okay. It was nerve-wracking. It was the only the second time. It's become the thing now, hasn't it? Comedians get their dad and their mom and their husband or their wife. See who I said husband first, well, trained. And I felt the emails coming in and I drove. I don't want to hear any of your rubbish, okay?

Okay. Oh, when they say walkery. I got interviewed by the son this week, the son on Sunday. Is that what it's called or is it called Sunday? How are the 80s going? Well, it's interesting you say that because she said to me the journalist. She said, so there must be things that you've said in the past that you really regret. No. And I said, I think the same could probably be said for the son.

I don't know if I don't met the interview. But she said to me, can I just, I want to picture the scene of the sun interview. Were you on the phone? We were in a sort of nearly empty pub. Oh, I don't like the pub. They didn't even get you there. It was quite a nice pub. And I chose it because it was near to my house. I was in picturing you in a fake shake hotel. I had a fact show. No idea that it's been recorded.

Sam Allerdys style. I can introduce you to some great people in Birmingham. Well, the reason because the work, she said to me, so I think we should talk about the walk thing. What's that? And I thought, oh God, I must have like a weird walk that's been all over the internet, and I didn't know about it.

It's going to be embarrassing. And I thought, you know, Peter Capaldi's running. You know, that's quite legendary, funny. I think who wrote the thick of it and those things? Oh, yeah. Armando Inich. He said if ever they had a bit where they needed a visual, they'd just say to Peter, would you mind running in this?

They wouldn't tell him why. And I thought I was in that situation. But then I found out she was saying woke. she's from Yorkshire the walk thing so we you know we talked a bit about that but

two things one of them was she began the interview by saying do you want a cockapoo and I said no I've got a I've got a cavapoo I don't want

and she just looked at me in What? And what she'd said was, do you want copy approval? And you said, I've got a cat. I said, I've got a caperpooh. I don't need copy approval. How can you hurt me?

I've got a lovely therapy dog at home. So it started. That's interesting that she asks, do you want copy approval? I know. No one's ever said that. I thought it's quite nice. It's all like a two Ronnie's sketch in interview form. Yeah.

Yeah, for candles. I was doing an exam. The kid sitting right next to me who kept looking over my shoulder. What did you say ultimately to the copy approval? I said I don't care. And my publicist who was there said, yes, yes, please. Yeah. So it was a bit like that.

She'd also jumped in to correct my, you know, help the aged. She jumped into, she said copy approval, Frank. Frank. What? I've got a cover. I know you have, darling. But she said copy approval. Oh!

I mean, I love the idea that a woman from the sun would turn up and say, do you want to come up? They're not supposed to be gifts. Can I say that to our listeners? Not unless there's fake shakes involved. You're not supposed to just give them away. I don't know if fake shakes any longer with us. I don't know.

Anyway, we won't get into here. No, I'm not. No, I'm not bothered. We'll leave him to it. Yeah, so the other thing was, She said, I don't know if you remember me, but I interviewed you about 30 years ago. 30 years ago. To be honest, I wouldn't have said this to her because it would have sound creepy,

but she didn't look old enough to have interviewed me 30 years ago. But she said, I was new and really nervous, and you said, right, what are we going to talk about? And she said, I said to you, I'll be honest, you're only like the second or third person I've interviewed. I feel really lost. And I said, I'll tell you what, I'll give you an exclusive, and that'll keep the editor. to acquire and she said it was really lovely you sat and told me how you did a lucigenics on a boss the gift that keeps on giving I do think that's very lovely but I gave that as a gift I mean I don't know if it's the story I'd have chosen to show it

with the young reporter but I loved the gesture but you know it needed to be something new I was wondering how to stories then imagine what it's like been interviewed 30 years on Did you remember the story when she reminded? Not prepared to answer. No. And you were also on Lorraine this week, but it wasn't Lorraine? No, it was Christine Blake. Lovely little interview, may I say?

Oh, thanks very much. I wasn't listening. Oh. You know what people say, so quick, those things. It's like a seven-minute interview. You know, I was a couple of laughs. Do you know, I thought, I think it's. quite nice for them when they get you on

because they get laughs. They're not used to that. I know, but I think they'd rather have celebrity than laughs. Frank, you're both. I know, but I mean, I think what they'd ideally like is a finalist from Love Island. You know what I mean? That's where the is nowadays.

Someone who was fourth in Latvia's next top model. I tell you where the money is these days. You want to have once been in Tawi and now moved on and now doing more charity work. I'll tell you where the money isn't. Oh, go on.

I did... Podcasting. Poetry podcast. I did... Well, that is true, but I don't care about that. But we do love it. It's brilliant. That's love.

But where the money isn't is Channel 5 News. Not that I'm talking about my wages, because you don't normally get paid when you're plugging. But I was on there plugging in the poetry podcast. I've done it before, but... Oh my God, you go into this... Like a, it's like a disused office. It's like, I imagine, the KGB offices.

Look, grey, shabby, lots of, like, just it looks like no one's been in here. And then a door opens and somebody comes out with, like, headphones on you think, oh my God, there's people working it. It's like derelict offices. Well, it's one of those things, it's always a bit of a surprise it still exists. Like there's a shop in central London that sells umbrellas. And when you walk past it.

Oh, I know the one you mean. And it's always, I always assume it's an MI5 safe house because it couldn't possibly. And I wonder if Channel 5 is also an MI5 safe house. Well, I didn't feel very safe there. I felt like I'd gone there to be interviewed, but there might be something torturing as well. And I went into the, what they called the green room,

but it was like a sort of holding bay. Oh, yeah. And I went in there and there was a guy, like a nice, friendly looking guy in glasses. How old? I don't know. 20s, 30s? 8, 20s, maybe.

And he said to me, do you want a cup of tea? I said, oh, do it? He said, no, no, I'll make you a couple. He's like, there was sympathy in his life. And I thought this is probably the guy, you know, the guy who, the prisoner who looks after the library? And he's like, he's got some empathy because he knows, you know, what I've got, what I've got coming.

Do you know, that would be the role you'd have in Shawshank, redemption. You'd be the librarian, wouldn't he? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Basically, I... They'd call you Doc. I'm worried that Dan Walker is being held there against his will. Oh, Frank. Free Dan Walker.

He's going to escape through a sewer. He's been digging a hole in a wall. Oh, yeah, through a ventilation shop. He's a bigan, though, you know. He's about six, three or four. He's got that Rita Hayworth poster on the wall behind him. He is a bigan. I don't think he'd make a sharp turn in a ventilation.

I took him for a walk once. Did you? Well, I felt, it sounds a bit sleazy when I say that. It's not a euphemism. I genuinely to, I went up to, I think it's Sheffield or something he lives in. Not anymore. He's in the basement at 10.5. And lovely man, but I fell over.

It was so embarrassing, Frank. Isn't it awful when you fall over? Well, it depends how you fall over. Really bad. And I was being very confident and sort of a bit full of myself when it happened. And then I fell in this whole pile of leaves. It was awful. Also, you don't know what's under a pile of leaves.

There might be bodies. That's usually where they are. And do you know what I thought about Walker? Walker. I'm making him sound like he's an England defender. He leapt straight into the leaves to aid me. Did that? That's quite rom-com.

It was a bit? That doesn't surprise me. Really? No, he's got that about him, I think. Chevalric. Yeah, he was quite chivalrous. I liked Walker. How did you find him?

well he was in manacles at one end of the studio long walker to freedom very good and he is long as well oh that would be a great book title he has written an autobiography has he? I can't remember what it's called but I'm sure you two will come up with the title he should have used at some stage

I don't want to put you on the spot boys you can percolate that sit on that for a bit and then come back to me I've just got You'll never beat Dan Walker At what You'll never beat Des Walker

No I think he's beaten regularly At Channel 5 Frank Was it a nice interview though It was lovely But You know you're going to the studio There's no one there

Are they filming this Or is it just being taped To be used I'm half expecting a honey trap. You know, I'm going to a room and there'll be a lady in stocking. It only exists on Onlyfans now.

Speaking of it was... There was cheesecake in the foyer, but not cheesecake in the women in bikini's way. There was cheesecake in the foyer. When I arrived, there was a man called Greedy Piggy Boy, who, um, I know. And he's a cheesecake manufacturer,

or at least a vendor. And he's called greedy piggy boy. That's right. So that's not just a prison nickname. within Channel 5. No, I don't know what his role is. We don't want to talk about his role in the prison, Frank. Squeal, greedy piggy boys.

I'm going to make you squeal. And he was, he had a... So in the foyer, it all looks nice. You know, I think it's also the ITV foyer. So that's... What are they? Some weird students sharing a flat. Why can't they all share a flat together, Frank?

I don't know. It's like you and David. The Fadiel in the early days. Can they get their own properties? It's like TV of the aristocracy. And five are a sort of 16th century priest who's in a dark covey hole hidden in the way. He's in a priest hole.

Walker's in a priest hole. The whole show is, I think. It's a bit like, you know what they're like Channel 5? It's a bit like when I went to see Beers. I'm going to stop name dropping when I did this. But it's relevant. Yeah. He was that an eccentric member of the aristocracy has given him.

You know, they would do this, a sort of folly to live in. Because he likes the idea of Bez living on his land. When people used to have a hermit. Right. When I was living on the doll and, to be frank, not looking for work, I thought, the way I justified it to myself, because I was reading poetry and stuff, is that I was like one of those hermits being kept by the estate.

Yeah. Right. Just, you know, offering a spiritual glow. It's a great job if you can get it. Bez has got one. And I was going to say, if things ever go wrong for you, I don't think they will at this stage. Well.

But you would be perfect for that role. Yeah, I could take to that. Is that what they did with Peter the Wild Boy? Was he a similar? Don't ever bring you off. So, yeah, Dan, he's like the main man. Does he have a helper? No, it's very hard to tell.

Is anyone on screen with him? No, it was just me and him. Oh, Obama said. But, you know, there's an element to Channel 5 of the Witness Protection Program. What's the five? The car that picks you up, they put the hood over your head. Well, it was a big.

It's one of those. You know, when you get a... I know not everyone gets a car send to pick them up to take them to work, but... Did you say Carson, the but... A car send. but it was one of that it was like a big people carrier could have got 12 of us in you know

and I thought this is probably what they use for execution there'll be someone in the middle who's leaving Channel 5 let's put it that way and they'll be driven to a forest clearing someone will be banging on that that's our favourite thing Frank and I when they bang on the back of the car oh yeah prison yeah exactly tell what they do Frank they bang the people literally

you know if there's like someone has been accused of a terrible crime let's not mention it was something terrible yeah yeah yeah but we say murder which is I think nowadays it's seen as one of the lesser crimes yeah well that's true it's prime time stuff

the the accusee the accused rather will leave prison to get into the van to get to court and they have the blanket over their head you know but there are people I have to say mainly women, but there are some men.

And they've obviously had a bit of a phone round that night and saying, you're busy in the morning. We're thinking we might ponty on the accused. We get there about, if you know, outside the prison, get there. I think he's on trial at 11, so let's say, let's get there 9.30. We can have a, we can have a Gregg's. And then we'll wait and punch on the side of the van and shout, fiend. We've had a lovely day out

And you'll always get a photographer Just trying to take photos Running alongside the van Trying to get a photo Oh, that's another one, yeah What sort of a photo is that going to be? Yeah, exactly It'd be terrible

How many of them have run into One of the women who were shot I'm going to fuck it I'm trying to punch a fucking friend I've missed him now It's going to be months until there's another one. Yeah, exactly.

They don't kill people every fucking day, you know. I bloody kill you. Sorry, love. I'm trying to get a picture. I'm trying to get a fucking picture. So that happened. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by Saley.

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I'll say what I did Can I just tell you When I got my Yeah we need to catch up On your week as well Steve We will get to you Because greedy piggy boy That's not nice

He said to me Do you want a cheesecake Hang on Hang on Hang on What I'm a bit confused about Did he just approach you Hello my name's greedy

He's got a sort of a stall In the foyer Oh it's depressing And he said Do you want a piece of cheesecake And I did that thing This is always really Wines Cath up

He said I took it off him and I said let me make this absolutely clear this is free she hates it when I do that I can't imagine why I always say you'll be more embarrassed if I eat it and it is because then it could lead to a scuffle so let's just get it off from but it was free and I'd say it was very nice well done GPB well done greedy piggy boy and all our very best wishes inside yeah

GPB, chat, go easy on Walker. Chat, GPB. You just go on and ask about cheese cake. Who out of us three would be... Don't ask about what's upstairs or in the basement. Who out of us three would fare worst in prison? Well, you'd obviously be in a lot. ladies prison. I think you might

win them over. Do you think I've come into my own? Do you remember when we was in... Oh, that's a lovely couple of women, we were in Blackpool and a woman, the driver picked us up in the van. She hated us. And she looked like, you know, 18 fights, 1-7, lost 11, that was her general appearance. And she had that fabulous, I do like it, I call it psychic black hair.

It's the colour, the sort of psychic extent to the head. But she was like, I can't wait it all day, you know. So we were all a bit. And then Emily got some perfume and started putting a bit of perfume on. And she said, do you want to? And she went, oh, that's nice. She completely melted, utterly melted. So I think cosmetics might get you through.

I love that, Frank. To be fair, it had just been gifted to me by Lou Vuitton's nose. I think I, well, there you. N-star. Louis Vuitton's nose. Yes. But I could see you, yeah, like if it was a prisoner cell block H type of fare, you'd be running the steamer. Yeah.

Oh, I would be. Surprisingly, because people don't think, oh, you know, probably would be posh. It's a bit posh, you'd be, they'd kick the shit, but I don't think that it was. I think I'd be dead within 24 hours, which... Well... I think, well, this is... Well, before or after you'd been originally sadomized.

Oh, my God. Probably a bit of both. Yeah. I'll tell you what I think. We all know, it's your destiny. You are going to be running the library, obviously. You know what I'd be doing? An old lag.

You're such an old lag. You'd have the old lag's garden. And do you know what? I see you in some sort of Padrere role as well. Oh, that would be nice, yeah. Padre slash library slash old lag. What you want, Crusher. Closher.

It's a tale of two cities. You'd be surprised. Man, give it a chance, give it a chance. It's a long sentence at the beginning, but give it a chance. We all know what a long sentence is like. They'd get jokes thrown in as well. Yeah, man.

I mean, they're all franchises are being revamped. We could redo porridge with you as Fletch. He would be a good fletch. Steve would be like a chicken key in two days in. Anyway, we should do some outside world. We should. I'd like to hear what's been happening to Steve. Hall but I'm to be honest I think we have a duty to our listeners to find out what

they've been up to I think we do as well I'd like to share this with you we've had one of our oh my god I think just for listeners that is perhaps the biggest sex tie I've ever seen in my life Frank I'm not in prison yet yeah dear Frank that's a gift from Dan Walker dear that is a joke who we met that clear Dan Walker wouldn't go in the same of Of course he wouldn't. That's a sex toy. He's lovely and he has a lovely... I think he might have a cocapooh, a cavapoo as well, if I remember.

I think that son gave him one during his last interview. Inadvertently giving out... One of his interviews before he disappeared. I think she went back to the office and said, yeah, we didn't have to give one away this week. Oh, man. Dear Frank, I'll see your line of duty pencils. Do you want to just explain what that is?

I went in a charity shop, Steve. And one of the things they had in this was in Cheltenham was a set of line-of-duty pencils with relevant quotes and things like, I do something to bank. I catch bent coppers or something like that. It was all to do with, what are they called again? Yeah, DC-15 or something like that. DC-12?

DC-12. I explained to think. Have you seen Line of Duty? I've only seen the relevant. Is it Adrian Dunn? Oh, I love Dunbar. Oh, yeah. He was very good in Kiss Me Kate, actually.

Oh, he can sing. So, well, they can. In the old days, they did it all you see. Oh, yeah. Dear Frank, I'll see your line of duty pencils and raise you a Frosty's Tony the Tiger branded six in one color changing pen. Oh, you know how much I love a colour changing pen.

Well, so does this read it. That sounds great. Oh, Frank. I didn't actually say it. I discovered them on a shopping trip for back-to-school supplies for my child. And I know you enjoy, Frank, a multiple-option colour-changing pen.

So, FYI, the colours are black, blue, red, green. I mean, they're the big four. It's not really a thing, Frank, the big four. It really isn't. You look at those. They'll always have those. They'll always occupy in the European places. Speaking of such authority, I mean, the big four with colour-changing pens.

I have recently acquired some pastel shade pens, which just have things like pale blue and lavender. Very limited use, though. Oh, I do quite a lot of underlining. Oh, I bet you do. Well, I'll just to recap on those colours again. The colours are black, blue, red, green, purple and yellow. Incredible technology from Kellogg's. Now, yellow is always a disappointment.

I've got a picture of them here for you, Frank. I'm just showing you. There's a sign on them. They cost how much? Three quid? Where are they from? Do you know? They've not put a location.

Oh, what? Could you let us know where they're from? I would also like to add to that, Frank. We have been contacted personally by the makers of the line of duty pencils. Or as they refer to themselves, the creators. Oh, okay. They are the creators. It sounds very actual Straza this.

They're called Pencil Me. It's a station. Pencil me? Yeah. It's a stationary shop. And they say... It sounds like a thing you don't want to say in prison. I won't be saying that.

And they said they would love to send you a line of duty gift set in a gift box. Oh, that'd be fantastic. Or, well, this is the choice. And this is what we have to work out now. You don't get to think about this. Do you want your very own line of duty pencils? Or they will print you, Frank Skinner, some bespoke pencils with a slogan of your choice on them.

Well, okay, we'll turn that down. Okay, we can arrange that. Maybe the readers could suggest what Frank could have on his pencils. Some classic phrases. But if you would just like to let me know, I notice they don't offer any of us, just saying. I know, but are you pencil users? I'm not really. See, I do, I...

Sometimes. My worst, it's not my worst thing. Obviously, I'm not comparing it with poverty and illness. But my worst thing is byroes that keep cutting out. You know, oh, that dry, you have to do a big, hard scribble to get it working again. And they go a bit and then they did like a lap of honour. You know what I mean? with nothing coming out.

Oh, I literally throw them across the room. I've got to be in Happy Gilmore with them. But a pencil, of course, that ain't going to happen. And you can, as the astronauts found out, you can write upside down with a pencil. The pencil is far classier than the pen, let's be honest. My only worry with a pencil is I once went to my place of writing. I was writing at an office.

and it rained heavily and when I got some of my pencil work but I'm ready for that now you know why I like it because it's very much the pencil it's got the energy of you know my favourite the dad in 101 Dalmatians

sitting at the piano making his adjustments by pencil a little bit hot no I do I'm pro pencil how many catchphrases are they offering to make is there a variety

they haven't oh look I don't you know We don't want to be... What's he called that cheesecake maker? Greedy piggy or whatever. Greedy piggy boy. Don't be greedy piggy boy, Steve. Just choose the one.

Let me know when you've made up your mind, okay? I'd be happy if they just said Frank Skinner, to be honest. I think you can do better than that. Now get it out. You've got an MBE. We can come home, maybe we'll have that. They also supply just FYI the pencils to the official House of Commons pencil. Are they?

And they have... They love... like the Port Collis. Yeah, they have, the Port Collis, they print that, and it says Port Coloss, sorry, and it says House of Commons printed. So, yeah. This is great.

You have your MBE, now you get in an HB. Pencil, me, I've never heard of them before. Yeah, it's called Pencil Me. Just on that, I also want to say, someone has pointed out that when you mentioned those line-of-duty pencils, they were reminded of the anti-drugs campaign from the 80s. I do vaguely remember this as well. Do you remember this?

Just say no. they got given pencils I think this from the White House I remember this at the time with the slogan don't do drugs can you see what's going to happen here so far so good but as they use the pencil

it rapidly became do drugs and finally drugs I do remember this being I don't think it affected the war on drugs in a measurable way that's from Les and then at a certain point it becomes rugs and it's just advertising

wigs Yeah, you don't want What's he called? Michael. Who's the MP with the blonde hair? Michael Fabricant. Yeah, you don't want to give him that pencil in the House of Commons.

I don't think he's in the House of Commons anymore. Is he not? About him. I'd say he's most unusual. I would like to find out what Steve has been up to. Should we check in? Well, it's so near the end. Why don't we say if give Steve us proper showcase next show?

I think you're right. actually. Can I share another outside worldie with you? Oh, sure. We've had this in regarding, I don't know if you're aware of this, Frank, but the one of our readers, Billy has got in touch saying on hearing of the

passing of the author. Not Piano Billy. No. Well, apparently that's Pierre's name comes up as I think it's Piano Valley. Piano Valley on Spotify when they do the transcript of the podcast. piano valet yeah piano values too i imagine that's where the name of billy joel's house you know

people give their house a name i hope so if i ever give if i ever give my house a name piano can you um have me sent to channel five and never to appear again uh i don't know if frank's had of the passing of the author alan alberg or ulberg are you familiar with Alan Alberg. I didn't know he'd die. It was last week. I read an obituary in The Guardian. Oh, that's upsetting.

I had a lovely email exchange with him. Well, this is what Billy remembers and says. As a long-time reader, I was reminded of a story, Frank Toll. Oh, that's upsetting. I didn't know. Oh, I'm sorry to you suddenly. During the radio days of his connection between him and one of the characters in one of our stories. I was sitting in a dawn bookshop.

Because we should say, Billy says, could Frank be so kind as to remind me of it? Yes, I went to Dought Bookshop. So I thought, we'll read something Southeast Asian. And this is how DART books to their classifications, of course. No, there was a kid section. It wasn't all stupidly classified. So there was a kid section, and there was a little nook you could sit in. So I started reading this book about a kid who's breakfast at runaway or his lunch.

Oh, right. and all these peas and sorts of running down the road. Well, you were with those at the time. I was reading to him. I wasn't on my own. Okay, I thought you were looking for literature. If I had gone in there and read on my own, I would be in prison now. But anyway, the main character was called Banjo Cannon.

Right. And I thought, Banjo Canaan was a bloke who lived around the corner from me, and quite a local, colorful character. I think he was a been a rag and bone man. He was, yeah, colourful, it's the word. And I thought, what's the chances of anyone coming up with Banjo Cannon? So I contacted Alan Arbor through his... Representatives, yeah, through his publisher.

And he wrote back to me and I said, and he was from Oldbury where I came from. Yes, he grew up. And it was the same Banjo Cannon. That's right. What are the chances of them? What are the chances of them? You're right, Harry.

Harry, calm down. Oh, no, he's bleeding from the nose. So, yeah, that was lovely. I'm sad to hear that he's died, but he sent me a very night. And he sent a book for bars as well. I loved him. There was a couple of his books.

I love when I was... Well, he used to write with his wife. They were originally, I think they were like a double. You see, families can work together. Yeah, well, that is true. That is true. That's a good end to that theme. Yeah.

Well done, you. So next episode, Steve Hall, in the big chair. Like they do on Mastermind. Yeah. You'd be good presenting. Can you imagine Frank presenting Mastermind? Oh, I'd like that. Who does it now?

Clive, Mire. What was the thing that you said to someone when there was a quiz that you were doing at someone's Christmas party? Oh, don't. I can't bear it. Oh, that's not going on. You should say that to a master-like contest. It's too upsetting.

That was scandalous. Yeah. You're ungrateful. Yeah. Anyway, look, the next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days will be out tomorrow, that's Saturday, and the best bits from 2009. We're still in 2009.

What a golden year that must have been. I look great. On this week's episode, Ed Byrne was meant to be at our guest. He meant to be our guest, but his car got stuck in a ditch. So if you want to find out more about that, tune in to Frank Skinner's Radio Days Saturday morning. Steve, it's always lovely to have you on. You're on next step as well.

I warn people. We'll be back soon. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com.