The Frank Skinner Show - No Baseball Caps!

Episode Date: July 3, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by comedy writer Ruth Husko. Together, they discuss Harry Styles singing Three Lions, the shocking state of their toothbrushes, and whether baseball caps are a big yay or nay�� If you want to message the show, email us at [e-mail] or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769 We’re currently sponsored by BT - behind brilliant things! Search ‘Why BT’ to find out more or click on the following link: https://www.bt.com/broadband/why-bt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? We'll find a stairway to the stars and climb that stairway to the stars. But look with that, this is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosko. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalon UK.com.

As for WhatsApp, can I tell you that I can't hear myself now like I could before, but it does it matter? Who wants to hear me anyway? Check the figures. Here we go. Oh no, sorry, that's my own personal. This is a theme from the third man. When I arrive at science fiction films, I always imagine myself entering the the foyer to that, the nerd man. Where comes the nerd man? Hello, did you see Doctor Who?

What, do you want to watch it? The night, post-encounter. Just take my washing to my mum's. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Frank. I'm not doing that anymore, because do you know what? I've met some of those Doctor Who people

and they're actually not that bad. So lovely. Beautifully, poor. Yeah. Anyway, what's up? Yeah. Everything I'm telling you. I love a bit of time.

I mean, the herb. Frank, what do you think about the fact that the owner of this premises refers to me as Chai Lady? I don't know how I feel about that. I dropped something. He thought I dropped something earlier and he said to our producer, can you give this to Chai Lady? Well, what's his name?

Oh, yeah, that's such a good point. Exactly. Oh, I've been so shamed. Yeah, well, there you go. People should have name badges with their professions on. Then I wouldn't have even spoke to that boy in the amusement talk about. Frank. Anyway, it's lovely.

Lovely to be here. Is it? Yeah. To be here, nice. Who used to say that, Bruce Forsy? He did. Okay. It's still alright to say that one as well.

He's okay. Yeah, no, he's all right, Bruce. He's in the palladium, isn't he? He's fine. I'm zooming. We're recording on Wednesday. I'm zooming off after this to watch England play D.R. Kong. Yeah.

Dr. Fongo. So I... You came up with a great son headline, Frank, didn't you? What was it? What was it? The Doctor Will. Oh yeah, the Doctor will play you now. That's fantastic.

But I don't know if you should make the word Doctor out of the DR on DR Congo. It's probably not acceptable. Fair enough. I've just said it, no. It's in my career. Well, Ruth's the youngest one and she's okay with it. Yeah. Yeah, but she is from the black country.

You know, the missionary work is still threadbare. Oh, yeah. As far as the Wote Revolution is concerned. So I've noticed I can no longer ignore the fact that the England fans have basically turned away from three lines and turned towards Wonder War. Yes, I didn't want to raise that. You know.

How do you feel about it? Well, I read that the television fairs, Festival, but it's been at Edinburgh for years, is now moving to Manchester. Right. The England fans are singing Wonder War, and Andy Burnham is going to be the Prime Minister. We're being Manchestered.

I don't care what happens. I am not going on spice. They don't take spice any. This far and no further. That's what I'm saying. You don't hear about spice anymore. I think it's still big in Man. Yeah, they do.

They're always first to these crazy. It's legal, isn't it? Oh, is it? I think it's an illegal high. It's not legal. I've seen those videos of how they behave on it. It doesn't look very legal. I know, but people, we've seen people behave on alcohol.

That's legal. That's true. That's a good point. You really like one of those late night discussion programs that I've been put in my place by Vanessa Felt. Yeah, exactly. And I like those programs. No jokes.

Can I ask you about your feelings? feelings towards the replacement. Wondermore. Yeah. I don't see it as a total replacement. It's just a fad, isn't it? Three lines than Dior. I mean, better that than Sweet Caroline.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Sweet Caroline, you know, I think having an American song seems wrong to me. True. At least there's a feeling of Oasis as part of, you know, the old brick pop. And also everything's being moved out to the provinces now by A. Byrne. He's going to say Burnham horse, you're on. But Wonderwall's a bit of a...

Are they singing it at the end of the match? Yes. I never really... You can't really chat. It's a long chance. I mean, that would be. They've scored. I don't know the words.

I don't believe that. Yeah, but what does it start? When he goes, nah, no, no. Today, it's going to be the day that they throw it all back to you. Is that right? Yeah, yeah.

Throw it all back to you. Say she'll be the cricket anthem. Have I got it? that wrong? No, I think I'm sorry. Okay. Let's be honest, I've never really understood the lyrics of Wonderwall. It's a lot to learn for the fans.

Do they actually put the lyrics up on the board? Not in America, do they? No, they don't help people like that. No, and also reading, I think, is still in its infancy in the United States. I still do find it moving when they sing, hey Jude. I'm sorry, I can't help it. I didn't even know. Oh, for Jude Bellingham.

Oh, I'm fine with it. Look, anything with the Birmingham's, you're fine. Yeah. Look, we had a good... He's not actually from Birmingham. Okay, where's he from? It's from the black country, it's from Stowardford. Oh, he's one of yours?

Yeah, it's from the land of the ring road. No wonder you're so proud. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And now apparently the mother approves of the girlfriend because there was a problem originally, but it's okay. Yeah, but does Thomas Tuchel's mother approve of Jude Bellingham? Who described him as, what was the word she used? What did she say?

She said she was repulsive or something. What? It was really outrageous, yeah. And Tuchel mentioned it in an interview. Who wouldn't mention that? I mean, don't quote your parents in interviews. Old Mar Tuchel said that. Old Martucal, yeah.

Yes, but I think it's... Listen, the Germans don't always mean it. Don't take that out of context. Don't take that out of context. Yeah, I've heard some defences, but that one... I think it's because the word repulsive... Can you imagine at Nuremberg, somebody saying... We are saying this too much, the following orders.

I'm going to say, I didn't mean it. That won't work. Well, let's see, did I'm following orders work? I don't think so. Anyway, I'm not suggesting for a second that the Germans should be defined by World War II. There's a lot of people that live here that think we should be. Well, that's true.

I'm just saying that the word repulsive may have a significant difference of meaning in German. Do you know what I mean? She may have been reaching and selected the law. You think he was after respectful and didn't get there. No, I think she meant maybe he repels. Oh, no, there's no good one. What her reference was. He's seen, I don't know why,

but he's seen as quite arrogant, Jude Bellingham. Well, good, I want him to be. If I had that sort of ability, yeah. I mean, I'm fairly arrogant on the ability I've got. If I was Jude Bellingham, I'd spit in everyone's faces.

And they should be glad. to have that saliva as a memento. I'm very happy for him to be arrogant. Ronaldo's arrogant. Which Ronaldo? Fat Ronaldo or thin Ronaldo? That's what Joe Saint-Marino said, you know, Ronaldo. I mean fat Ronaldo. That's how he's identical.

He said worse things. Oh, dear, he has. Anyway, but the styles, in good news, The Stiles lad did sing your song recently at his concert. No, No, Frank. The Stiles boy, Harry Stiles. Nobby wouldn't be the most inappropriate nickname for Harry Stiles. Well, back in the day, of course. He's happy now. No, that's great that he sang it. I won't pretend that didn't give me pleasure.

Are you pleased about that? Of course. Is Harry Stiles? Yeah. Okay, that's good. So he's still relevant, Frank? Did he sing Wonder War? No. So it's on the Burnham front. Oh, you're not on about this Burnham again. Why are you upset? You've got met genit. Is he going to continue with the T-shirt rather than...

You can't be in the House of Commons in the T-shirt and suit jacket. They didn't like it when Jeremy Corbyn didn't have a tie-on. Well, good point, Husky. I worry about T-shirt politics. Because it's sort of saying, you know, people really got... Remember how Kirstarvago? really teased for saying my dad was a toolmaker in every space. And now, don't say anything, just wear a T-shirt.

People think this bloke really understands us in his T-shirt. No, but he's all right. He has a T-shirt. He must be all right. I bet you when he went for the T-shirt, I bet you he had a T-shirt in one hand and a flat cap in the other. And he couldn't make it. And in the end, the advisor said,

oh, I think I'd go, I think I'd go T-shirt. Do you know what I worry about T-Short? It's very PR for the FAA. Isn't it? Do you know what I mean? It's very sort of FIFA PR wearing that t-shirt because it's like,

a bit leisure wear, a bit of leisure wear with a suit. I know, but... I don't like it. I don't think it makes you a man of the people is wearing a t-shirt.

Not these days. It makes you a PR is what it makes you. It makes you a bit trying too hard. I think if you're going to be a politician, put a tie on. Do you like Burnham other than the t-shirt?

I don't know, yeah. Okay, fine. But I don't like a t-shirt. Well, I like standards. I'm saying like Jacob is small. I must insist on standards in the House of Commons. Yeah. So I wouldn't wear the caps.

I'd go for the T-shirt. No, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. While you're talking like, Oh, this is what I taught from now on. To go with T-Shia. I'm loving the sunshine. Well, see, he might be great.

Keeps tugging his forelock. Lovely. I like that. Lovely. It's got. Lovely lashes. Not the rest is politics. What is this?

Andy Burnham has lovely lashes. Have you seen his face so close? No, when he didn't wear glasses, now sometimes in speeches, you can hear the lashes scratching against a glass, which I don't like. Is he got Irman Trudes?

I didn't know that. Yeah, they're fabulous. Oh. He does go down well with the ladies. Does he? Yeah, he's got a bit of a hot podium guy thing, I think, with some of the ladies. He is a vote.

winner in that respect. But what that becomes is Big Brother Syndrome. What's that? You know, Big Brother Syndrome when there's a group of people in the house and everyone's attracted to, people become attracted to one person because there's such a small amount of people in there, if you know what I mean?

Oh, I love that. It's a scarcity. Yeah, economic scarcity. Because there's not many hot politicians. Think of a few. No, I know what you made. Well, I had mine, you know who I loved and I will till the day I die. But I always say...

Frank, did you know who I had a crush on? Isn't the idea of politics? It's something for unattractive people to do in the evening. Yes, except for Vince Cable. Vince Cable, you like. But I don't know if you'd be generally accepted as attractive. How dare you? Catlin Moran wrote that article saying that when Keir Stama got in,

it got a roll hot under the collar. Really? It didn't never work for me, got to say. Okay. And did you ever think about laying a cable? Frank. You really, it's so disrespectful. I know, it's a wonderful man.

It's awful. Really? Yes, it's, anyway. Imagine if I talk like that about one of your heroes, Samuel Johnson or something. Well, I think I'm going to make sexual references about Samuel Johnson. You're mortified. Go on, go for it. George Formby.

Oh, I'm doing a one-hour Zoom about Samuel Johnson tomorrow. I'm receiving rather than giving. Well, you've just made a sexual reference about something like that. Well, I did deliberately. Not deliberately. You did. Anyway, we'll see what happens with Burnham. I think you're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, aren't you?

Well, you know, yeah. It couldn't get worse, could it? But he comes in in very much a sort of a, you know, like Julius Caesar has been stabbed. and then this is the new leader and you're thinking, is this going to be all right? But now maybe you'll be great, I don't know. We'll see, as my parents used to repeat.

Do you say we'll see to Buzz? Because I've always vowed if I had children, I've never used that phrase. It's awful when parents say we'll see. No, I think I say, yeah. Oh, that's nice. So my stomach just rumbled. I don't care.

Thank you. Why bring it all? Congratulations. Congratulations. You've just heard. Haven't you? I haven't eaten, no. Oh, okay.

You just sound like gnarkey brother and sister. Did you not get a sandwich? No, I never do, because it gets stuck in my teeth. Guys, we're doing a show. That's why my stomach rumbled. I haven't eaten. Well, look, that's why I've got a toughbrush in my tote. Tooth brush in my to toe.

Oh, no. My tote brush, as I like to call it. Don't forget your tote brush. You know your toth brush in your tote or whatever? Thanks for saying trothbrush. That's fabulously, yeah. Fabulously patronising. I did it so you'd feel seen.

No, I like. I like me. I know you have the tuthbrush. And I was wondering, do you have any covering for the tuth brush? No. Wow. But I pull the fluff off before I brush. Just rolling around, didn't it?

I think that it seems to gather its own protective casing in a tote bag from the corners of the bag. Have you not gone electric? Have you gone electric? I've got electric at home, but I'm not. Carrying a All right, millionaire. The trouble is with my electric home. I've had it for a while

and it looks a bit like the great barrier reed for so much dried toothpaste on it. I've got grey matter all down the side. Yeah, but it's encrusting on. Occasionally I have a bit of a thumbnail. If I've got a spare minute I've done that. Take a couple of centimetres off.

I'm so glad you said that because mine's always been like that. And then an ex-boyfriend saw it and said, what the hell is that? I know, but mine's really about. It's like cleaning your teeth with the Sacra Familiar from Barcelona. I think we should all take pictures of our toothbrush. I just cleaned mine.

I will. I'm going to be in a photo mine. You'll be horrified. Yeah, but I've just cleaned mine. That's so weird. Oh, here we go. No idea. I haven't cleaned mine.

We'll do it between us then. I think mine is more disgusting and old than yours. I vowed I wouldn't clean mine unless I could do it with its own brush which is, I think, impossible. Okay. Well, I want to see the evidence. Don't worry, I'll bring it in next week.

Okay. This is where I casually say, Ruth. What are we all being up to, Bab? Well, I want to talk about an item of clothing, a late review for an item of clothing I've been wearing a lot over the last two weeks. Oh God, this is a bit. be awkward.

What do you mean? Light review. Yeah. What if she's worn it in front of us? I haven't. There's a clue I haven't. What if it's something like a chastity belt or something that we do? Women don't wear that.

She said a light review. It's a late review because it's something that a lot of people would wear quite normally. And for reasons, I've never got into this item of clothing. Shall I just tell you what it is? Yeah. I think does it warrant this level of teas? Probably not, but you know Spit it out

It's the baseball cup Yeah, okay, see ya No, I struggle with the baseball When I wear one When it was very sunny last week I wore one a couple of times I felt like such an incredible twat Completely agree

Yeah, same That's why I've resisted for so long It's such a trying too hard hat Isn't it? I just think we're not in America now Exactly Shut up both of you So you're

You don't wear a wife. Do you wear a wife? Okay, here's the thing. Firstly, may I say, I met with your wife and your sister-in-law yesterday at breakfast. Both had baseball caps. Yes, but my wife is so obsessed with the son that she puts, was it, 50-factor white block on. It's very standard now, Frank, for most modern people. It does like, with the baseball cap, if the Northampton clown had been in Charlie Brown,

that's what it would have looked like. I said she doesn't even rob it in the block. It's terrified. I know, but she's got pretty privileged. She doesn't have to try like the rest of us. Well, I don't have seen her for the summer months. It's like living with Casper. Except she's not friendly.

If there was in Casper the unfriendly, ghost, this is her. Shut up. She is friendly. To you. Casper the unfriendly wife. Yeah, exactly. Well, They both had baseball caps.

I didn't put mine on. No. And I felt a little bit like I looked a lot older than them. It's very, what I would say, Ruth, you don't really need this because you're so young and gorgeous. Thank you so much. It is quite anti-aging the baseball cap. I couldn't agree more.

Because if you've got a ponytail, which is what I've been doing, loop that through the bat. I'm doing that trick. I mean, I look about three months old. It already did. I don't think it anti-age is me. No.

No, it doesn't. When I see me in it. You look downright creepy. I look like... Let's be honest. Joe Biden getting off a helicopter. You know, he used to put a cup on because he thought my hair will never take the propeller things. That's what it looks like.

I've never seen you in a baseball cap. When I was thinking about bringing it up, I thought... Can I tell you what he looks like, Ruth? He looks like one of the people that asks for his autograph. Right. Well... Remember when you used to get that outside the BBC? Yeah.

And they don't... They don't... do that so often anyway. I mean, I essentially think that if you're from America, you probably shouldn't be allowed to wear one. The thing is, if you're not from America, I, you know, I've been to baseball, I've been to a lot of baseball in New York. Yes, you like baseball, don't you? And even then, I don't feel easy wearing a baseball cap. At baseball. Well, up until very recently, I hadn't used to wear sunglasses because I thought I was trying too hard to be cool. You know, I have a problem with this is interesting.

I have a problem with sunglasses. I have a problem. If I'm out in them and the song goes in, people think I'm being star. I like kung fu movies too. Well, I love sunglasses and I love baseball cap. I like kung fu movies better. Much, much better. Oh, my deaf mute heroine.

Have you ever seen that? It's fantastic. So you don't like sunglasses? Do you think it's because you think, oh, I look like I'm trying to look like Rizzo in green. I just thought like I'm you know I'm in the black into Birmingham or London we're not in LA and I think the same about flip-flops

as well I'm like come on a beach This is awkward Have you seen my feet today Frank? And I mean it's very normal For other people this is why I'm only just getting into There's lots of things that are very normal for other people Yeah I'm alright with sunglasses when it's sunny

But like I say one cloud goes over And I think I'll fuck people think I'm trying to be a Madonna Exactly And you've got that little microphone. I can really imagine people reaching for that conclusion. Yeah, I think they do. But I feel like there's probably a bit of a background. I know because I think if I see someone out, it's not fully sunny, I think, oh, get over yourself.

Seriously. Some people, though, just can look cool with sunglasses. Oh, of course. Yes, they can. But also, when I sit like a band on stage and some of them wearing sunglasses, I think. No, that's pathetic. It's absolutely pathetic. No, I think they're taking drugs.

No, if I see someone with sunglasses, I just think I lose such respect for them on stage. Can I say I don't include the blind in this? Can we just clear that off? Stop them ridiculous. Of course you don't mean of the line. Well, you know what people are like nowadays? I don't want to complain thinking we're saying that.

Definitely not. Of course we don't mean that. But I get you with the baseball cap. I feel, I know what you mean, But it is, A, it's flattering. It's great for bad hair days. Well, this is what I started. And people do compliment me when I wear my baseball cap.

Do that. But is it? What about the resulting hat hair from wearing it? You can just never take it off. No one must ever see it except for my dog. It's fine. As long as I'm strict about those rules. If I take it off, I look like Robert Robinson.

Robert Robinson, Ruth, was a TV presenter. And he had a, in those days, the comb over was the absolutely, Nowadays people shave a baldhead. No, they have transplant. But then the comb over was the norm. But he had a comb over, as did a lot of people. But I went to, he was being inaugurated as the president of the Samuel Johnson Appreciations.

Robert Robinson was. I didn't know that. Yeah, this was way back. In Litchfield, it would be in the 80s. So he was walking down the stairs and I walked behind him. And it wasn't a comb over. He was familiar with the vertigo record label,

which is like a spiral. If he'd have stood on a revolving disc, he could have mesmerized everyone on the staircase. He'd taken it round and round on his head like a walnut whip. And it ended in the, you could still have a point in the middle of his head of his greased air. Oh, poor Robert. Oh, boy, poor. They didn't understand about product and serum and styling then.

Well, you definitely had product. You can't make hair stay in a spiral. He had enough hair to go all the way around. Yeah, but it's coming from the wrong vicinity. It's coming from the back of its head. Well, this is the thing about the baseball cap. I thought the bald have been gatekeeping it from me. They just pop the cap on.

It's like when you've got a double chin and you grow a beard or like a weak chin and you grow a beard. I can't do that yet. I think also you've got what I'm going to describe as a period face in that you've almost... It's a good thing. You look like your own discomfort. No, excuse me.

I do not mean that, Frank. A period face? Yeah. What's that mean? But you could belong... You know, like Frank has a period face as well. I don't think you look entirely modern. And I think that's a good thing.

Frank looks 1930s. Yeah, I could have been on the Gerald Mart. Yeah, you really would have been. He's 1930s. Yeah, I'd have been happy then. So, you're not a baseball cup in. I'd say you're at 1920s. 1920s.

Yeah, okay, I'm very good at working out where you're from. Oh, that's a post-war. Yeah. You're a modernist face. I don't know if that's a glimpse of stocking. I can see what one of Gatsby's parties if he was a real character. And I did you just have a little black barb as well. There you go.

So where... Yeah, what happened to him? But where would you say, do you think you've got a period face? Absolutely. Oh, where... What's your period then? Medieval. Oh, yes.

It isn't. It isn't. My teeth could have been early 8th century. Your teeth could be peers of the flower. You don't look medieval. I'm not comfortable with medieval. No way.

No way. Anyway, will you not be coming over to the baseball side then, Frank? Definitely not. I've got a baseball cap and I have worn it in desperate time. What does it say? It doesn't have anything on. It's plain. Oh, extraordinary.

Well, what does yours say? I have numerous logos, none of which I really understand. What's your favourite? I know nothing about the New York Yankee, but I like the design. It was a whole Ramones thing going on with it. Yes, the New York Yankees are dominant in the baseball British market. The Beckham's. But I've noticed the New York Mets logo, which is again an N.

But more floral, has started to become more popular. And that's when we think, because I used to like follow. the Mets and go and watch them play at New York. If I was going to wear a baseball cap, it would be a Mets cap, I think. But I can't. I've got a Mets varsity jacket. Oh, I like that. I like a varsity jacket. It's a Rumsish Ranganathanathan.

Well, the Varsity Jacket, it makes me think of Planet Hollywood. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Giving Planet Hollywood. Well, I won a Planet Hollywood. Leather. Stop boasting. Varsity jacket.

Leather bag. I won it in the loaded magazines, chapp of the year. I think, oh no, maybe it was a football thing. You're willingly telling this story. Yeah, Chap of the Year. It was presented to me by Yergen Klinsman that Jack. Could this story get any more 90s?

Loaded magazine Chap of the Year. I know, Chap. Presented by Yergan Clinsman. Yeah. And TFI Friday was on. Yeah. Well, it's back now, isn't it? How is it?

Yeah. Okay. Would you like to hear from the outside? outside world. Okay, okay. Okay, I said that's a Freudian slip. Well, it's Pride Months. You're okay. Maybe I'll just say okay for Pride Month. Yeah. He was an ally. I'm more of an ally. No, he was an ally. He used to spend a lot of money in Ballons, didn't you? Oh yeah. That sounds like a youth. And also, Ballams was a, uh, it's essentially a gay restaurant we used to go to. I always used to say we won't go Pride Weeking. It's not fair to take the seats. It was so sweet.

And much appreciated. Yeah. As Derek Okora would say, thank you, spirits. Very much obliged. Why does he oblige to the spirits? It's just being polite. I think it's good to keep them on side

lest they should alert the demons. I think you can dispense with language like that. I think a lot of the spirits were Xbox drivers. I was finished with a thank you driver after a saunce. I think you're like a very much obliged Oh God He's walking Remember when he did a version with dog?

I can't Oh no I can't This woman had a Jack Ross one He said he was a real character Wasn't he? And she said yes yes he was Like any dog owner Especially a Jack Ross would say no not really

She was quite a doll Quite a doll figure in the house Never made a noise Yeah It was a real character And she was going Yes, he was. How could he possibly know that?

There he said, I can see him now he's walking around the world as spitz, bold as brass. And she made her happy, you know, to think that. Yeah. I know, but Frank thinks it gets. Oh, no. Oh, shit, it's being savage. Oh, that would have a bit great. Well, this is the problem.

It gets confusing with the animal kingdom up there as well, doesn't it? Because someone's prized alligator. could go up there. That's true. And then what happens to the Jack Russell who's, you know... I imagine the segregation in animal heaven. Segregation in heaven.

There'll be no segregation in heaven. Well, I mean, I'm going to break it to you that animals don't have any souls. Well, this is what... He has a St. Thomas Aquinas view. So we go to heaven. They go to compost. I know, but even the Pope doesn't really believe that anymore, Frank.

I think he does. Okay. But if it makes you... If it makes you happy... I'll text me. I won't dispute that you have the quickest route to him over me. Well, you know, I haven't got him in my... You've met the geyser.

Not this one, I haven't. No, the last one. Did you meet the Red Shoes, Pope? No, I saw him. I stood on Lambeth Bridge and waved to him when he went over on the Pope. Did he wave back? He did wave back. Lovely.

Well, there weren't many of us there. There was a great big... There was a bloke on a massive banner saying... Saying what? Benedict go home, you know, Catholic oppression. Sorry, that's the most middle-class man of Benedict. Do go home. But the thing was...

You sat having hamstered. Imagine just... This was on Lambeth Bridge. Imagine seeing Combaatch going off on a canoe, looking forlorn. Well, I won't stay where I'm not wanted. Bloody disgrace. Man can't walk around his own ballet home. There was about 15 of us Catholics on the bridge

and this bloke with the big anti-Catholic banner. We're all just chatting at all. Have you got actual time? Now I think he'd be in the next hour. We were all just taught. No one said, why have you got that horrible banner you're monster? So was the man who said Benedict go home? Yeah.

Was he a lone protester? Yeah, he was on his own. He'd obviously made the banner himself. He wasn't embroidered. It was, you know. Oh, they've always made it themselves. Yeah. The only time when they don't make themselves, as we know,

is on the soaps, on Brooks. Frank and I have a thing. I don't know if you know this, but we hate TV protests because we never believe them. The signs are always too well painted, and there's four people in the crowd going, eh, with a lot of extras to get together. Yeah, we can't.

Then we feel sick, TV protests. If you saw it's 60 stuff now, they've probably about 200 protesters, but you can't throw money about like that. No, exactly. And anyway, go home, Benedict. Um, Julie from Coventry has got in touch. Hello, Frank Emily, and all on the podcast.

I, better than shy lady. I've wanted to message for a while, and I felt the perfect opportunity arose when I spotted a picture of you, Frank, stood next to a man who I swiped across on Facebook dating. So one of his dating pictures, I didn't know Facebook had a dating element to it, but one of his dating pictures is him standing. with you. Oh. So Julie said...

Is it the Pope? I mean, that would go against everything I've come to believe about him. It would. He did himself no favours choosing that picture. What does that mean? As you are the one all women's eyes are drawn to. When asked for my perfect man, I say the looks of James Norton,

the accent of Killian Murphy, and the wit and intellect of Frank Skinner. Hmm, I thought I was going to be taken wholesale at one point, but I am some aspect of a Frankenstein's monster. Yeah, obviously I don't want the fucking face, and I definitely know what the accent. Imagine if she said in the teeth of Frank Skinner. I would have had so much respect.

Yeah. Anyway, that's... The teeth of Frank Skinner for my scale model of Salisbury play. Isn't that nice? So she wants, Julie from Coventry, that is. She wants the looks of James Norton. I heard it first time. It's lovely that she wants your wit and intellect, Frank.

I suppose it is, yes. Okay. But if I look like James Norton, I wouldn't have my wit, certainly. Exactly. That's a lovely way to make you feel better. I don't think good-looking people are funny. They don't need to be. Okay.

That's a good way of looking at it. Well, anyway, it's nice to know. Fucking lottery winners. Do you remember, Franklin, I think I remember you saying that someone had said you were there, would but shouldn't. And you said, why is he shouldn't? The thing was, that's because the person who said it was so pollard. And I was a wood but shouldn't.

I think you mean couldn't. That is terrible. Oh, no, what a slamper in the face. I saw her the other day. She was the first, when I moved to London, she's a third. Can I say be careful about her? Do you know I have a family connection? I love her.

No, I see her at things now again. She's great company. I'll just be clear. Yeah. She married my gay godfather's ex-partner. Oh, I think I've heard you say that. Yeah, Uncle Peter. They got married.

Oh, gay. Yeah. Yeah. It's Pride Month. That's Pride Month. Yeah. Oh, no, it's finished now. It's 1st July.

And my sister cried and said, Mommy, why is Uncle Peter marrying? Oh, so it's not Pride Month. It was all of June. Sorry, it's the 1st of July. Have we missed Pride Month? So what's July? Petro-Mondon.

What do you mean? We all have to go. Our voices have to go down an octave. Anyway, Sue. She was the first celebrity I saw when we moved to London and she was walking through Eastington, what down islington High Street. And she looked exactly as you demand.

She's an exuberant dresser. And I saw her again last week when it was really hot and she had a long red cardigan on and like a black top hat. And definitely parasol earrings of some description. She looked great. She looks exactly the same. I think that's the key. Well, I did this morning and she was a guest on.

And what was it like? She was principal boy in a pantomime. She was plod. Yeah, she's got good legs. So she came on just in this like skimpy outfit You know, it's always the big, the tights. Yeah. And I thought, well, I better say something nice when she's, you know,

she's really gone for it. And I said, you look, you look lovely, Sue. And she said, yes, and all you, men, you cocks your compass. Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, shit. Wow. She didn't even slap her thigh when she said it.

You caught your compass, North South Sea. So you've made it. So it's not on breakfast. I felt like, you. Yes, and it's very much of south at the moment. Frank. I didn't say, I only thought it. Please tell me you didn't say that.

I didn't say, of course. Oh, my actual God. Of course I wouldn't have said that. Very bitter. Is she I have no idea? Benedict go home. Anyway, that's Julie from Coventry. So I thought that was sort of a compliment, which I wanted to share with you.

Well, there's one in there. If one was a vivisive. sectionist one might find it. Heaven's sake. You can take something lovely from that, which is people are using you on their dating profiles. How does that make you feel? Weary.

Well, is he just thinking... He wouldn't have put a picture of him next to James Norton on his dating thing, lest he should fall short in comparison. But next to me, it's a bit like when Dr. Frankenstein was hiring an

assistant, he didn't found James Norton, he found some poor bloke, look like he was inside out. No, it's true. Yeah. It's true. But look, it's better than nothing, you know? Oh, that was my stomach now.

Was that yours? I thought it was mine. Oh, no. You have had the sandwich. Oh, my. Bloody are. It's like sitting in the brass section of the St. Lawrence Orchestra.

It's a Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalonuk.com.