The Frank Skinner Show - One of Frank's Biggest Regrets

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined again by Johnny White Really-Really. This time Frank's been to the theatre, there's a joyous jumper and the team's favourite birds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio, Frank Off the podcast, don't you know? If I could be anything in the world that flew, I would be a bat and come swooping after you. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Johnny White, really, really. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at Avalon UK.com and we got more new WhatsApp stuff. Have we?

Catch this. I haven't, I don't listen to them before. This could just be allowed. This could be really like slagging off the Catholic Church. I had no warning. Let's find out. It's Frank off the radio and that posh lady. Oh, oh.

You can WhatsApp us on You 745 7471-176769 Wow I liked it It was fancy I like it It's quite 80s movie as well

You know when they get to the bit In a cyber crime film They were in Yeah It had flavours of that to me Are these all ones that listeners send in Wow It's very high standard

I must say Is that a compliment? I don't know Yeah, thank you very much. I take no credit for it. Now we got some smart dudes. Do you know what I like? The way Johnny said that,

it sounded like you were judging a regional dog competition. Very high standard. I must say this year, Frank. Yeah, we went to a dog contest. I went with you, do you remember? Yeah, and the judge didn't even look at Poppy, without doubt the best-looking dog there.

Well, mine was worse, because Ray came 10. And to get the placing of 10th is much more insulting. A number to be ignored. Yeah, I felt bad for you. When you know the phrase, he's not a bad judge. Well, that was incorrect. He was a bad judge. One thing I would say about our WhatsApp,

I agree with you. They are a very high standard. I don't think we've had won by a female yet. No. That's sad, isn't it? Where's the Judy's sooks? Hey? Where's the raise? I like that sad, like Donald Trump. Very sad.

Where's our chapel Rones? Lovely, Frank. Very impressed you know. Oh yeah, Buzz, he keeps you in touch with all these young artists. He's not a big fan of pop there. No, but he understands. He's immersed in culture. Yeah, he gets to hear it more than I do. Yeah, of course he does. He knows everything. They filmed the Top of the Pops review of the year in Spiritland.

Strange name drop, you're Frank Skinner. I recognised it. I love that. Your Frank Skinner, why are you impressed by that? You know when you see something on tell you place you know, it's more exciting than see. If there's a program about Nepal, I've never been to Nepal.

It's interesting. But if it's the chip shop down our road, I'm absolutely jumping up down. Say, Kerr! Carlid some fucking chips! It's like that. That's my favourite thing, is celebrities getting over excited

about less famous thing. It's like when Chris Jagger said to me, do you know the Great Soprendo lives near here? I said, you're Mick Jagger's brother. Why did you know about that? I'd rather be the Great Soprendo than Mick Jagger's brother. Because the Great Soprendo is the Great Soprendo.

Who's the Great Soprendo? He was married to Victoria Wood? Jeffrey... We'll remember by the end of this podcast. We're old, bear with us. Yeah, he was... But he was a magician. Oh.

And I think he was one of those magicians who did consultancy work, like Ali Bongo. He was called in to advise with... On other magicians. Yeah. Oh, nice. Paul Daniels introduced me to Ali Bongo once as if he was introduced me to Muhammad Ali. Did he? Anyone with the name Ali, isn't it?

Yeah, Chemical Ali. He was... I mean, the name... amongst magicians is legendary Ali Bongo. It's not problematic in any way, is it? I can't work it out. Maybe we shouldn't delve. We're going back a bit.

I know we are, but even so. I can't decide, Frank. I'm not sure about it. It feels to me like it's a mash-up of cultural references. The Bongo I would think of as a South American. Well, I worry about that. You know, there was a kids drink at the time, which obviously would not be appropriate now.

Oh, they're married. Yeah, but you could drink it in the Congo, and it might not be a reference to... It could be an African... What I'm saying is, I don't think it's from the same culture as Ali. Okay. But I don't know, I don't... That makes it even worse.

He didn't know, then. He didn't know, then. He didn't know. He was... Also, a man, he probably didn't go out. He was too busy, palming. That's what I've heard. No, but you can imagine him spending whole days

taking coins from behind a mannequin's ear, practicing, you know. What do you think of magicians? I think we touched on them briefly last time, didn't we? Look, I've had one of my best friends as a magician. All right. Did you live next autumn magician? But they are strange, but I am really impressed. by magic. Oh God. Do you like it, Johnny?

I do. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a magician. I had the trick where you put a handkerchief in your hand and make it disappear. I used to do it in primary school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just ask me miming how you do it. I know how to, I mean, I know we can't say because of the magic circle rules, but do you know how to do that? I know that one. I don't know any tricks because I don't like it. That's less trick-based and more prop-based. Do you not like it?

As in you don't find it kind of impressive or you think it's immoral? No, I don't find it immoral, but... What would you be immoral? Do you know what? I'm going to go with that. Let's say, I think it's immoral. I love that. In college is an interest in the occult. I like the idea that I think it's a moral.

I'm just going to say that. But no, I think what it is, it's more the paraphernalia and the fashion choices. That's the thing that I struggle with is the waistcoats with stars on them. I saw a magician once and he was quite average. And at one point he said, I know what you're thinking, the man must be in league with the devil. No, I wasn't thinking that. But no, I love it.

Well, next door to where Johnny works is the magic circle. It's the magic circle. And I've been there a couple of times. Oh, yes, you mentioned that. I mean, I went to Stephen Moffitt's Christmas party, the former showrunner of Doctor Who. And he had a magician there wandering around. He was brilliant.

Yeah. When I was at The Magic Circle in the show, the magician, I don't know why he did this. He identified the plant in the audience accidentally. He was like, oh, you made it? And then tried to cover it by saying, oh, I used to work with this guy. But then it was, oh, that's embarrassing. Yeah, it was.

Oh, but was that one, you know when magicians do that thing when they put your watch in a handkerchief and then it hit it with a hammer? And then they go, oh, oh, was it an expensive watch? You know that that's all fake that really they've got the watch. So do you think he was? I don't think so. Because there was a sort of palpable in the audience sort of dampening his spirits when everyone was like, Oh, it's going to be that guy.

And that was the person that was later picked. See, you want the right kind of fakery. I used to go to wrestling at the Hen and Chickens pub. They used to have... Extraordinary, actually. In Islington? No, no, it was a big pub. No, no, in...

This was in Birmingham. Oh, I thought he meant Islington. I thought, I didn't imagine that in Islington. They... Obviously, wrestling has got a certain amount of theatre involved. Right. But the audience... went for what I think Samuel Taylor Coleridge called

a willing suspension of disbelief. Ah, okay. But if you pushed it, like there was, remember one, and they were doing kind of punching, and it was clearly not quite making contact, the crowd started booing.

And what they were booing was the fact that he was, he was bursting the bubble. He was confronting them with its fakery, which they were prepared to go along, but they would not be directly challenged with it. And that can happen with magic as well. But I love it. I could watch Clouseop Magic till...

I'll tell you what I did like, because I went with you... I do like Dynamo. I went to see Dynamo with Frank. Do you remember that, Frank? I do. Yeah, and I really enjoyed it. I love him.

I like him because there's something very epic and it's worthwhile. Yeah, I don't need... I think one of the things, I mean, I agree, he's brilliant, but magic's gone a bit too epic for my liking. Oh, do you think it was Copperfield that ruined it? I just don't, I don't need for the Eiffel Tower to disappear. I'm happy with coin from behind the ear, it'll do me.

Yes. I saw Dynamo walking his dog once and the dog has... Big dog. Big dog, very huge. Newfoundland. Bandages on its paws and kept falling over. And he was a... That's because the dog, I'm sure he wouldn't mind me saying, this but the dog had an accident fell out the window

and he went to Supervet who sorted him out who are you going to call SuperVet Are you familiar with SuperVet Not personally No I don't actually Frank? No in anywhere I don't know I just said not personally

He actually loves Frank SuperVet I met him at Hollywood Vampires gig Okay alright nice He's a fan of yours but He's a big fan of rock music He said to me anytime you want to come to an operation He said, no, I'll never do that.

That'll never happen if. I just want to tell you that. Can you imagine me? You're doing any else patients recently? He's become famous because he does the kind of complex orthopedic surgery on animals that previously no one would have done. They just would have, I'm afraid, let the animal go. He says, no, I think, you know.

I'll be straight with you. I thought, you know, if you put TV in front of anything, I think it means less good. Right. do you? You know, TV vet. Yes. TV comedian.

He is good, though. But I have got a friend who's training as a vet. And I said, oh, I met Super Vet, man. Really? It was like I'd said, here's Ali Bonga. Yeah, and she said, oh, God, you know, he makes these, what do they call plastic limbs? Yes. Something like therapeutic, prosthetic.

Presthetic limbs and that, dogs and that would have been a band. and all. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it turns out he's the real deal. He is the real deal. And also, and again, he's fine, I think, for people to know this. But he is the subject of the Britney Spears song, Toxic.

Because it was written about him. Was it really? And he was asked, and he said, yes, I think it was written about me, and I'm fine with it. Because it was written by a singer called Kathy Dennis. Oh, yes. He's a soulwriter and she dated Supervette. There you go. What's his, um, was it?

What's his government name? Noel Fitzpatrick. But you know what? He prefers to be called the soup of that, I think. I bet he does. Fair enough. Well, he's probably on the witness protection after Cathy Dennis. I mean, not just slagging him off,

but getting Britney's fears to slag you off. It's really horrible, listen. Frank, imagine if someone wrote a song about you called Toxic. It happens a lot now. Has anyone ever written anything bad about you? Well, in reviews. They've never written a song about me. I think I remember, can I tell this story?

Well, we'll see him find out. I was at David Badeel. When I lived with David Badeel, an ex-girlfriend was in the band and she sent him the song. Yeah. And he said, oh, I really like this song is really good. And he was playing it. And the lyrics was like, you're so sure of yourself.

You always put me down. And I thought, um. So it's, you love me for telling it that story. Did you say, Dave, I think. I said, Dave, that's you, mate. What did he say? You stop playing it. Yeah, it's a genre, isn't it?

It's like an ex-boyfriend. Well, Taylor Swift. I'm thinking, you're so vain. Oh, yeah. How dare you? But that was Warren Beatty, wasn't it? That's right. That's right.

By Carly Simon. Carly Simon. Remember Carly Simon's husband? James Taylor? My mum, I did, my mum always, who was it, Warren Beatty that was about? Yeah. Yes. Ah, my mum always told me it was about James Taylor.

Oh, okay. Now, I think it was Warren Beatty. That makes way more sense. Was she married to James Taylor? Yes, she was. But she dated Warren Beatty. I always get in mixed up with Neil Young. For me, they're the same person.

occasionally there are some people in show business who for me they are just two people become that's it because tonight is the night when two become one oh that's disgusting i hope that wasn't written about you need your love like i've never needed love before i thought you're going to do the back in vows no i wasn't because the next bit is want to make love to you baby and i don't wish to say that to you no not baby not any of it does anyone call anyone baby like that embarrassingly, I did once have that. You know, when you have, like, names for each other, I did once have that with a boy, an ex-boy project.

He called you baby? I think we both called each other that, and I feel ill. Just because it's... You didn't do that nappy, adult nappy things. No. Okay. Good. You know, you get into the habit and it seems normal to you.

That would have been the end of the podcast. You'd have said, I mean, where do you go from it? Imagine I just admitted it and we had to pretend it was normal. Well, I mean, I've got... I can see. adult nappies on the horizon, but there'll be no thrill in it. Speaking of clouds, by the way, I love to say Emily's got a, I'll be going to call it a peanut sweatshirt or a Charlie Brown sweatshirt?

I think a peanuts. Peanuts. Yeah. And what we mean by that is not that anything's visible, more that it has a peanuts illustration on it. So it's got peppermint patty, Charlie, Snoopy, Woodstock and Lucy. And is that Linus Frank at the end? Oh yeah, Linus.

I couldn't even see Linus. Well, you didn't want to look too close. No, I didn't want to actually go around the corner. Linus was right under the corner. It's no time for a panorama, but it's a woman sweatshirt. Linus was nestling in the valley. Yeah, no pig pen. Mind your own bees ones.

So, yes, you were admiring my sweatshirts. It looks, there's somewhat very joyous about the peanuts. Oh, I love that. I think. Who's your favourite peanuts then? You know what? I think it's Charlie Brown. Fuck the dog.

We're all supposed to like Snoopy best, don't we? It says nothing. No, I like Linus, because I feel he's slightly neurodivergent, and I like neurodivergent people. He's just got some of that. Which do you like? Does Linus do this in Charlie Brown's Christmas?

Does Linus do the speech about the true meaning of Christmas? Probably, it sounds him. There's a lot of philosophy in Peanol. And he's codependent as well with the blanket. Oh yeah. Who's your favourite Peanots character? I think I've got a soft spot for Woodstock. Is that the bird?

Yeah. But I think, I bet you the... Does the bird ever speak? No, just like a chirrups. I bet you the Charles M. Schultz estate are wishing in the modern age he hadn't called it Peanut. When all kids were peanuts is more frightening to them than Dracula. It must have lost them some trade. Just saying...

Just same. Yeah, and it's very, very nice. Well, I think the reason I like this was partly because it was made for a child, age nine, which means I pay no tax on it. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Get child, you should, if you can fit into children's clothing,

you should go for it. I don't think I can. You might be able to in some areas. I don't know. How's the current childhood obesity crisis? I can find the shop that caters for that. I can save myself a few quidding. Every cloud. Every cloud, kids.

Only in certain areas, because I couldn't have it everywhere on my physique, but certainly gloves, I have unfeasibly small hands. So I always buy children's mittens. Okay, well, it's, I remember being in kids gap. Is that what it was called? Yes. Gap for kids or something like that. And there was three sisters live next door to me,

and they were all. I think the youngest was like seven. and the oldest 20. They were all in Kids Gap buying t-shirts. That would explain it. It's a Coss cutter. It wasn't a Cossackettor. Have you ever been in Coss Cotter?

I can't remember. Okay. Do you go to Poundland? I've been to Poundland. Have you? Did you like it? Yeah, it's great. Okay.

I wish there was a... I went in Octavia Foundation charity shop yesterday. What's that? Do you know that? Well, that's a charity shop. But that sounds a bit of a hamster charity shop, if you don't mind me saying. Well, it's in Hampstead. Well, there you go.

I don't know what... Octavia. I don't know what the Octavia Foundation does. It'll be in memory, hopefully. Octopus... No, it won't, Frank. It'll be a memory of someone. I think it's not...

I think it is. It's not, Frank. It'll be a memory of someone no longer with us, I've imagined. Oh, someone called Octavia? I imagine, yeah. Okay. So go on. What's Octavia Foundation?

So I went in there, and they had a big, fat book. And you know, sometimes you go in charity shops, and they're... the sticker on the book is the original price. Oh, yeah. So this book was 1999 in its original. So I said, there's no price on this other than the original. She said, what we do in those cases is we take a third of the original price.

Oh, wow. And I had to do that thing of putting it back down saying, thank you very much. Did you? I'm not paying that in a charity shop. I was in a charity shop in Haverford West in Wales and we found these really good birthday cards that were from the mid-90s but they were priced as if it was the mid-90s

which was like 20p but they wanted three pounds for them so I put them back. Yeah. But I kind of regret it now. Yeah. I doubt there's a person on the planet who doesn't have at least one regret about not getting somewhere in a charity.

Absolutely. Do you remember when I saw it? the line of duty themed pencils. I never bought those. That was one of my biggest fuck-offs at my life. I remember they were going to send me some and never went away.

It's not that it went away. I don't think we reached out to them and said and actively pursued it. I'd have took any line of duty. If you're listening to people that make the line of duty pencils, Frank would still like them. What were they just, were they pencils branded with They had remarks what one might get on line of duty.

Yes. Things like there's nothing worse than a bent cop. That's it. Stuff like that. Very well remembered, Frank. Because I don't know if you even watch it, do you? I watched the first series I found. There are some programs I find so brutal and frightening.

He's so funny about things like. You know, Frank can't watch TV shows. And I always think of Frank. Whenever I'm watching these shows. Don't. This is good. Even say this, my stomach will say. Just block your ears because I need to tell Johnny,

if you're watching like a cop drama or something like that and someone's rifling through drawers and the other person's coming down the corridor, you hear the footsteps, he can't watch that. Oh, yeah, I'm a bit, well, because of the sort of fear. The tension. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's often when the camera, the camera pops outside.

And they're just getting in their car and you see the actor do some. Oh, hold on him. minute acted like I forgot and then they go back and the worst thing is they're in the drawers and the glass on the door is frosted and you think in a minute there's going to be a dog shut it.

Yeah yeah no I'm they have those cameras they look like cigar cutters cameras that never exist anywhere else in the world where you pull them to one side and then push your bag you know that thing I know I had it looks like a garlic crusher

or something but they're taking photos I had it recently watching the Night Manager series two. You'd like, have you seen that? No, I'm a big fan of that man. Tommy Dillston? Yeah. Okay, I like that man. That Hamilton Man.

But I had it in the Night Manager where... I heard that. Oh, Frank. And I had to... There was someone in a room, you know, obviously rifling through someone's hotel room. Well, this is John La Caree. I know. John Le Carre must be heavily lied.

with people taking photos with a garlic crusher while someone else remembers their trilby. It is your literal nightmare. The entire hour of each episode... It's people rifling through drawers. Yes, that's what it is, Johnny. It's rifling through drawers and at the same time cutting to someone coming up in a lift

and hearing, ding, as they get to the floor, you couldn't watch it. It would be too stressful. Honestly, I'm not saying this for comic effect. I can feel that. in my shoulders now you're talking about it. Horrible. I went to the theatre

last night to see a woman in mind. Alan Akebourne? Big fan. Well, are you? Yeah, I love Alan Aiky. Because I had probably the best Alan Akebourne themed gift

which you could imagine. I mean, it's like, it's a late Christmas gift, but I, I was genuinely thrilled to receive it. When Tony Robinson's wife told me that Alan Ackborn is still alive, I assume... I think he was dead. Yeah.

And I said something about, you know, it being a tribute that his place is still going on after his death. She said, I don't think he's dead. I said, what? We looked it in the program, still alive. Wow. Lovely. I think I might watch a play for today of his over Christmas.

Anyway. Okay. That sounds right. I love that story. I'll tell you what, should we play a game? What's your favourite? So, yeah, Ramesh Ranganaathan was in it. Yes, that's it.

He was properly, properly. Was he good? He was properly acting. He wouldn't have known. If I didn't know him, I'd have just thought this, you know, there's another act. And who else is in it? There's someone else.

Sheridan Smith is in me. Oh, she's fabulous. That's what everyone says about Sheridan. She is, though. Yeah, but I say as well. When I say, I think, oh, I'm just, I hate saying what everyone else says. Yeah, but in her case, I'll make an exception. No, she's.

Because when I, she's one of the few people that when I see her name attached to a drama, I think I'm in. Do you have people like that? She's one of my only three, maybe. I always think... Hugh Lorry, I have it a bit. Is she called Sheridan Smith or as she adopted Sheridan because he was a famous playwright?

Oh, no, I think she's probably called Sheridan. Do you? Well, actually, her parents were quite sort of, weren't they theatre people? I think they were. I don't know. I don't know a backstory. I don't think I do.

Okay. Nick Tompkins has got in touch. Oh, yeah. Recently on the show, during the pigeon chat, Do you remember that? We were talking about pigeons and how, as Nick continues, it was mentioned that pigeons

haven't had their day in films. I think I was making the point that pigeons don't have great PR in terms of the animal kingdom. Funny enough, in that game I was subjected to, one of the things that we had to... Actually, I think I chose it. It was favourite bird.

In the 70s? And someone chose pigeon and got quite a lot of love. I chose Magpie, and I was shot down in fucking flame. What did they say? That's why you hate games. I just don't think people appreciate the beauty of the magpie. It's not just black and white.

Don't kid yourself. It's got a fabulous blue sheet. Yes, I love the blue bottom. I like a cock or two. I've heard that. I knew you were going to say that. Well, you let me. Come on.

I genuinely do like it. I know, but that was like a musical. You take my holiday. You have to take it. I have no time. I can't help it. I love cockatoo. I always have.

Okay. Just because I think they've got personality, they're entertaining, they serve a purpose, they're functional, they work hard. Well, I'm often welcomed up by parrots.

Something I never thought I'd say. The green, the green one. Those bright green parakeets. Oh, yeah. The Jimmy Hendricks. They're not. We know they're not. But yeah.

In case you know, live in London, there are bright green parrots in the trees. Who'd have thought that could ever possibly happen? Anyway. Oh, yeah. Back to Nick Tompkins. You were talking about pigeons not having had their day in films. It's more of a correctione, this. However, there was an animated film in 2005 called Valiant about how pigeons helped soldiers during World War II.

It's a good film, very funny and informative. A fellow puzzle name. In the messaging, messaging. I believe so, yeah. So we did get that wrong. I said they'd been there. So we always believe in acknowledging our mistakes. I believe Johnny still uses them for messaging.

You know that... We should establish Johnny doesn't have a phone which you revealed on the last podcast. Reuters was originally a fleet of pigeons. Really? The news service. Again, you still rely on them for your news, don't you? I'm interested in the other technology that Johnny rejects.

Do you have washing machine? I don't have a washing machine. Okay, I won't go through them all. Dish washer? Don't have a dishwasher. No dishwasher? I'm guessing on the evidence he doesn't have an iron. Right.

That is unbelievable. Carry on. Do you use a mangle? I don't use a mangle. I would quite like to use a mangle, but the opportunity has never presented itself to me. I thought there'd be one at the Asiatic. Can I just establish,

I know we talk about the Asiatic Society, but what's the Old East India Company, Is that different? The East India Company began as a trading company that traded largely with the East. Okay. It became so powerful that it had its own army. I mean, it became ridiculous. People had to step in and do something about it.

It was so ridiculously influential. And so why is it called Asiatic now, though? No, they're not one and the same. Okay, they're different. Okay. Okay. It was just founded by them. Got it.

I understand. I just wanted to be honest, you know, case anyone else was going to. I had a friend who was at Essex University doing a PhD on the influence on literature of the East India Company. And I went to visit him. And I was a bit early. He was a train ride away.

I was a bit early. So I went to a secondhand bookshop. And there was a book on the East India Company. And I thought, oh, I'll get this for him. Because, you know, he's probably half it. And then there was another book on the East India Company. And I thought, I don't know if I want to get to. Then there was a row of books on the East India Company.

And I thought, I'll just tell him to come in here, you know. Anyway, I looked at one of these books. I thought I'll get him one just to prove, you know, like the way that the Dove, who was sent him, out from the ark, came back with a twig as evidence. So Noah didn't just have to take his word for it. Water height was dropping. And then when I opened the book, it has his name in it.

You know, people write their name in a book. I thought, oh, this is one of, then I looked, they'd all got his name in it. So I thought, this is his great passion in life. So I went to his house. I said, I've got to start by saying, there's about 40 of your books on me. He said, yeah, yeah, I need to tell you about that.

He said, I was in the British Museum and it was a beautiful summer's day and I was studying. I had all these old books piled up. And I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I lifted my head and there was an enormous pool of saliva on the desk that had just poured out of me.

He said there was a great strand of it. between my mouth and the desk. Like St Bernard. He said, and I was really disgusted by it. And I went outside. I sat on the steps of the British Library. He said, it was a lovely summer's day. There was pretty girls in summer dresses,

guys shouting to each other and all. Everyone seemed happy. And I thought, that's it for me. And academia, I've had enough. And he just quit. Really? Quit the whole thing. Extraordinary.

Yeah. So you gave him a anecdote and people think, is that he? I always used to end by saying, and do you know, that man was Robert Dougal. But nobody knows who Robert Dougal is anymore. So I'd have to change it to something like who's famous now, Alan Carr. And that man was Alan Carr. Is he the equivalent now? He probably is, isn't he? Yeah. Okay.

Would you have believed that that was a story about Alan Carr? Yes, I would have. Okay. Do you want to hear this from Paul? Yeah. Go on, carry off. Paul Thomas Walsh has got in touch. Oh, yeah. If you're not a director, you should be.

Did we finish Valiant? Did we finish that theme? Nick was just offering us a Correxione. Yeah, I went into quite a long story that sort of went nowhere, but it's a remarkable tale in many ways. But I think with Nick... There aren't many stories that combine academia and saliva. And I liked it because it inadvertently had a dog theme,

which always makes me feel comfortable. Well, the drooling. Whenever I think of excessive drooling, I do think of St. Bernard. Well, stick around. We're still working together in about five years. Paul Thomas Walsh, who, as I say, should by rights be a director of some sort. They're always Paul, and they've always got a middle name, these people. Dear Frank Emily

Well, Paul Walsh was a footballer So he probably put the Thomas in to distinguish Dear Frank Emily and the Regent of the Day Recently, when discussing the cultural suitability of Bond films Frank made the point that nipples were never actually shown during the films Not strictly so Oh no, I mean women's nipples, I'm talking about Well, all I can say, PTW is what sort of a freak are you

pausing the bloody video to check for the nipple count. Anyway. Maybe it was something he just knew off the top of his... No, Paul does clear this up. Off the top of his... pectoral.

He does clue this up. In Man with the Golden Gun, do you like that film, Frank? I love the song. Okay, that Lulu is it? He's got a powerful weapon. No, thanks. Not interesting.

A shot. An assassin's second to none. I've held the golden gun. Do you remember? Haven't we all there? We went to the exhibition. Yes, we went to the James Bond exhibition. In Man with the Golden Gun, not one, but three nipples are seen.

Actually... Is that because Salamander, played by Christopher Fulia, has got three nipples? You are correct. Thanks, Skinner. The Bond knowledge is really... Actually, all on one person. In fairness, this was Roger Moore As Bond impersonating an infamous assassin, played by Christopher Lee,

who was adorned with a third nipple. Very good, Frank. You got there first. You see, we probably never saw Sean Connery's nipples because he was densely furred. Well, that was in the days when you were allowed. You don't get men with the hairy chests in films, do you anymore? Do they shave them all? Do you shave your chest, Frank?

I don't need to shave. Oh, you don't... Do you have a hairy chest? Is that personal? No. I mean, no, it's not a... No, I don't. I don't either. What do men wax their chest? They have to now.

Have to? Yeah, you have to. What is it, a bylaw? Pretty much. Okay. You know what? Das is verboten. You never see a movie star with a hairy chest, which is a shame.

You don't get, you know, in the olden days, do you remember? Who was that one he used to act with Goldie Hornlot, Bert, something. Reynolds? Yeah. Yeah, he was hairy. He had a hairy, everything. But I had a thought in Nuremberg. Sorry, what that weight?

What? You know the film Nour of them? I'd have thought the... Who's the Australian who played? Russell Crowe. Yeah. Who does he play? Himmler.

Okay. Is it Himmler he plays? Oh, one of those. It might be gurring. Might be gurring. I think it's gurring. Okay. I'll...

Hang on, how do we get to that? Does he have a hairy... I'll gur on the side of... Not a good pun, Frank. No, no. And sorry, you're saying Himla appears with hairy cheery chest. I'm guessing that Russell Crowe's got a hairy chest. He's a hairy chest kind of a...

Yes, he seems... He still carries quite a lot of machismo. Yes, he does, that's true. I didn't know Himmler got his chest out in the... I don't think it's Himmler. I think it's Gerring. I think Himla was the one with a little wireglasses, a spiteful looking man.

Gherring was a big pre-asempic kind of her job. He was more of a sort of ex-el bully, wasn't it? He was a big. Yeah. I mean, he was very big. Yeah. He was... I don't know what the word is now.

Gheringesque, I'm going to start calling people. The national Goringess crisis. I'm going to refer to... Would you describe him as a big unit? Yes. Yes, okay. He probably had a big unit. Fine.

I meant his military... Oh, my God, you so didn't. It goes on to... It's on Sky... Cinemana, if you want to... to Nuremberg. Oh, thanks. That'd be a nice evening in, yeah.

I really look forward to that. I went into the Everyman cinema. The one behind the counter said, Are you from Nuremberg? I said, no. Why would you ask me that? And she said, I just, because I was just going to tell you to hurry up.

I said, what? And she'd actually said, are you for Nuremberg for the showing of you? That sounds like, do you approve? of the actions. Are you from Nuremberg? What do you say her? You should have said to her.

What business is this of yours? Anyway. Oh dear. I haven't seen it, but I'm going to check you there. My friend had a line in it, but it got cut. Oh. What was the line? Something about...

Watch out. Watch out. Tom's. Something about a guillotine or gallows or something. Oh. And it deemed it to it was like too distressing. a scene so they cut the home. Oh really? That's what they told them. It was too

distressing a scene, that's why we lost it. Not because you were very over the top. You can't hang fucking Nazis. I mean that's how far the health and safety's got. I'd have thought they're the last group that you can be horrible about. Yeah. I mean...

Well, anyway. So look, I've got to tell you that the next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Day is out on Wednesday. Don't think I'm reading this out, not for a second. We're approaching the end of 2011 for our best bits.

And this time we're talking about the 36-hour rule. Oh, what was that? No idea. Is that how long food can be on the floor where you can still eat? It was a student special.

It's a Franks. Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode.

And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at avalonuk.com.