The Frank Skinner Show - Orchard West

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

On today's podcast Frank talks about reuniting with a stalker and his experience on Gogglebox. He also shares details of a trip to The Isle of Man which involved some toilet paper origami and statue sightseeing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o, and the one with the French name, from South Africa came. They're all here, open brackets, hooray! Close brackets today! Many years ago there was a sitcom on the BBC, back in the 70s I think it was called It Ain't Half Hot Mom oh yeah yeah it was you know it was I think the phrase they use now which is short and immensely racist is of its time but anyway it's had it's had lovely things in it. Sort of precious gems set in impenetrable courts, as I think Coventry Patmore said of Algernon Swinburne's poetry. Anyway, there was a nice man, a nice little man in it called Don Estelle who played a character called Lofty.

Oh yes. And he had a spin-off single with another of the characters in which he sang beautifully, I have to say, in a sort of high male, borderline castrato voice. And anyway, the BBC came to its political senses and they pulled the series. And so, Don Estell was left without a series. And he set up shop, as it were, in a rundown little shopping centre in Wandsworth in South London. He used to stand in there with a ghetto blaster and he would sing along to it. This man had been like, you know, a

big star just before. Just sitting there, not sitting, standing, singing these, still with a beautiful voice. And he'd, you know, he'd lost his show and basically lost his career. Are you suggesting this podcast is like that? with a beautiful voice. And he'd, you know, he'd lost his show and basically lost his career, but. Are you suggesting this podcast is like that? Exactly. This is your Wandsworth Shopping Center derelict boombox singer. I have found my little stage.

So this is Frank off the radio, the Frank Skeener podcast. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Navelli. You can follow the podcast on X and Instagram. And also if you're in that shopping center in Wandsworth, we'll be doing it live. You can email the podcast via Frank Off The Radio at AvalonUK.com. Hello everyone.

What a start. What an start. Yeah. What an opener. Do you remember Otis Cannelloni, Pierre? I have gigged with Otis Cannelloni. Yes, he's- Not for a long time though. I think I can say this, it's his material,

but I don't think he's done it for 30 years. He used to come on and hold up a tin opener and say, not bad for an opener. That was his first thing. I very much respected him for that. I've been doing a few gigs myself. I'm still on tour. I'm borderline Bob Dylan, the never-ending tour. Hang on. What happened to Otis Cannelloni? Did he see a club comic then?

Well, I wouldn't like to dismiss him as that. Oh, is that a bad thing to be a club comic? It is. Oh I didn't know that. So he was a bit more than just a club comic. Musician? Was he a musician? Yeah he recorded stuff at Abbey Road I remember him saying. Wow I didn't know that. He was maybe a session musician I can't remember but there's a whole bunch of he's a real repository of anecdote. I must admit I didn't see him coming up today but there we go. God bless him he's a very nice man. Nice man. The Guardian. Yeah. So I've been around and about touring. I was doing a gig I was doing a gig the other night and I think it was in Eastbourne,

but it might have been in Dartford. You know, that's how it is at the moment. Some goddamned tennis player. Dartford at the moment, Dartford's got, not Dartford in general, but the theatre has got concrete issues. You know, this thing we're concrete for. So you're actually in a prefabricated sort of tent thing doing it. Okay. So it was the Orchard, um, Dartford, and now it's called Orchard West, which I

think is the sort of name you get on a pretty American actress in Mail Online. Orchard West shows her fantastic figure. Yes. have appeared in Miami. The Gossip Girl star. Orchard West pours herself into a suit. Yes, exactly. Celebrating her curves. So, yeah, so I was doing a gig and there was a woman in the front row and you know you know this standard stock crowd work thing that people talk about now as if it's somewhat special and interesting but people basically use this filler for years comedians now it's been sold as prime crop anyway I said to this woman now so what what's your name?

And she said, I can't believe you've asked me that. And I thought, oh, oh. She said, I can't believe you've asked me that. I stalked you for years. And I said to her, hold on, I got a little closer. Oh, yes, I recognize you. I said, you've changed your hair. It looks great. What happened to your binoculars? Yeah, exactly. You've washed all that blood off and everything.

So I said... I don't recognize you without the camo. Yeah, so I said, how are you? Yes, so I said, how are you? And she said, you know, I'm good. I'm good. I said, what are you doing? What are you up to? This is on stage. I'm on stage. Who's on the list these days? Yeah, I was just, well, I did ask her that. She said, I said, who are you stalking at someone else now? Well, probably a little sense of sadness in my voice. And she said, oh, I still follow you quite a bit.

Then we had a long debate on the many semantic possibilities of the word follow. Yes. How extraordinary. Was she quite a benign follower we should call her? Well the thing that I spoke to her about was I once, she was up at TV record or she was at every TV record for eighties and someone gave me a bottle of wine in some other context. Appropriate. Someone hadn't done much research. And so I gave it to her. I thought she comes to all these shows.

And then next time I saw her she showed me a photo and she'd had the wine sort of mounted on a plinth in her house and then had like a special spotlight thing. Oh cool. Yeah. Gosh, she's quite handy. Yeah, exactly. She's got a DIY. Yeah, exactly. What sort of light? Funny enough, she had a screwdriver in her handbag. No, I think she's out. I mean, obviously you're not supposed to talk about these sorts of things, in case you fire people up. It's too dark even for

people up. It's too dark even for a podcast. Too dark for a podcast! No but I think she was alright. But I'll tell you something, why should I be upset about this? I said to her, I said, I never really had a conversation with you. I feel safe and safety in numbers, I thought to myself. I said, what do you do for a living? Now, why did this make me feel low? I said, what do you do for a living? She said, oh, I'm retired now.

I thought, when your stalker has retired, maybe it's time to pick up your ghetto blaster and leave the shopping centre. That's very funny. But why did I think, oh, I wish I hadn't asked that. You should give her a pension, really, Frank. Oh, don't say that. Here's one idea, is it people's hands?

Here's a question. Would you, let's say you have a stalker and they do stalk other people, three or four other people, would you rather that those other three or four people be wildly different to you or very similar? So would it be more or less insulting or make you feel better if it was like you, you were being stalked, but also Kanye West and then Prue Leith and then, you know, just those

very wide range. Or would you like it to be David Bedfield? Just me and Jasper Carrot. I was going to say you, Jasper Carrot, Adrian Childs, just people, just men of a certain area from the West Midlands who are TV and radio. Very good question. I mean, I think I'd rather they were various.

Yeah. Because you want to feel a bit more special. Well, you get these autograph collectors that, you know, the ones that have overused the plastic carrier back to the point that most of the printers now. I'm just saying there's often a baseball cap worn. Yeah but I often think that these guys are rarely they're not people who turned up for my autograph they're people who collect autographs. So they sell them on eBay? No not necessarily but they don't really care who's it is

Okay, I haven't come from love for me. They've come from love for collecting autographs, which is fine But in a way you feel a bit safer with those people So if she'd sit on with card, I did have another stalker who went across to should I name their names? Probably not the director the producer. I don't know what her job is. What's her job? She says no. Anyway, she left me for... She left you?

I think I lost two stalkers in about a month to a big comedian. Strange importance of being earnest. To lose one stalker, Algernon, looks like carelessness. I was happy to see them move on to you know past years new. Yes. It was a great transfer window looking back for me. You know they were both high maintenance. Yeah. Anyway enough of that. So I went I did a gig this week in the Isle of Man. Yeah.

Is that where Pierre's from? It is. As anybody who's seen Kelly, Kelly, Kelly from the Isle of Man. I thought you'd joined in with that. Sorry, yeah, it's a national anthem. I stood up with a hand on heart. Do you know it? I do know that, hand on heart. Do you know it? I do know that song. Yeah, I don't know what it means or anything. I'm walking backwards for Christmas across the Irish Sea.

That mentions the Isle of Man. Do you want to see? We don't come up a lot, so when the Isle of Man does, people really... I don't know what to make of the Isle of Man. Well, I've never been there before. Not only had I not gigged there, but I'd never actually been on the island. What was it like, Frank? Well, the gig... been there before. Not only had I not gigged there, but I'd never actually been on the island. What was it like, Frank? Well, the gig...

Yeah, was it odd? Is it where you would have imagined Pierre coming from, like, living? I'm not going to say that while he's here. Oh, OK. I got one big laugh and that was when I told them I paid 45% tax. Yes. Because that was like they were all going, what? What did they pay? 20 or something.

Yeah, I mean, I was just held up for rivalry and foolishness. Yeah, 45%. I could see people saying to each other just laughing A few people having to be led out by ashes. Yeah shock Gig was Was it rowdy or was it no, it wasn't rowdy far from it They can often be either rowdy or odd it can vary. Oh

So when you say it was bad... When you talk about doing a gig that didn't go well, because presumably... I imagine you've got to the stage where you always have a reasonably good gig, though. Well, there might be something in that, but relatively speaking, I felt... I remember about 20 minutes into the gig, it occurred to me that I was like the captain of a burning ship, calling into the storm, asking for help that I knew would never

come. And ironically, of course, it's the home of the RNLI and I've been to see the monument to the RNLI and all that. And there was one man laughing uproariously in the gig and he was like there was a lifeboat out there which I couldn't see but I could see the flashing light of it and I thought come soon and he never quite made it. But he was laughing and I loved him for that. But even he couldn't thwart the giant waves of apathy engulfing me. Oh my God, I did get another laugh. I talked about the Isle of Man symbol.

Yes. Do you know the Isle of Man symbol, Emily? No, what is it? It's three legs. Oh, is that because of the cat? No, the cat has no tail rather than three legs. If you had a three-legged cat with no tail, you'd have the most Isle of Man creature. I knew it was something. Yes. And a careless driver probably. Yeah. Who owns the cat. But I don't know what it's called that. A Triskelion.

A Triskelion. And do you know the motto of it? I do. Go on. Quinque jacaris stabbit. All right, Boris Johnson. I don't think my Latin pronunciation is very good, but that is what it is.

But it means wherever you throw us, we will stand. Yeah. Because we've got three legs. means wherever you throw us, we will stand. Because we've got three legs. To me, as I said, you've obviously never done a tight corner in a reliant robin. But I said, because it's very grand, they're very proud of it, quite rightly, wherever you throw us, we stand. And I said, it sounds very grand, they're very proud of it, quite rightly. Wherever you throw us, we stand.

And I said, it sounds very grand, but it is just a rewrite of Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. Which is less dramatic. But no, it was, I didn't enjoy it at all. Well, that's a nice starter for a conversation with Pierre. Well, I got sent a picture of the back of your head. Oh yes. You and Omar and Steve. That was me running towards the airport.

Wasn't that you on the plane? Someone on Twitter got in touch and said, I'm sitting behind Frank, I think I'm sitting behind Frank Skinner on a plane. Well they would have been sat next to my friend Chris who's texted me the same thing on the same plane. Oh okay. It's a very small place. Yeah. Can I just say, having seen that image of you,

I don't actually approve of that, taking shots of people, back of people's heads and this. However, however. If I go missing, you'll be glad of that photos. However, can I say, when I saw that, I thought what a lovely, it's the first time it's ever struck me, you've got a very attractive back of your head.

Oh. The back of your head is lovely. Yeah. This is... It's a shame I'm heterosexual. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's a joke I wouldn't have tried.

What's wrong with you? You see, one of the things I knew about the Isle of Man is when I was at school, if you put your arm around your mate or something, one of the kids had said, they hang you for that on the Island Man. It was like a byword for homophobia. And I think they did at one time hang people for- Didn't.

Not, not, um, they, they left it on the statute books, unenforced for longer than the UK, but they never did it. Oh, liberals. I think it was made legal in 1992, someone was telling me. Yeah, it had been... On the olive branch, really? Yeah, it had been legal for, you know, in quotes for the whole time, but someone finally finished ploughing. Oh, Ambassador, you're spoiling us.

Yeah, well, someone finally finished milking cows and decided to wander into parliament and sign the bit of paper that... I don't want you to get all defencive. No, no, no. It was a different place in the 90s when we arrived. Oh, I don't like it. Oh, I don't like it.

There's a row in the room, there's a row. No, no, no. Life was a different place in the 90s. I'm agreeing. Why do you whisper green grass? That's what Don Estell's been here. There was lovely things. I stayed at a place called the Hotel Halvard. Do you know that? On the prom. On the prom.

Is there a prom in the Isle of Man? The capital city is quite like Worthing. Yes. Oh yes I've been there. It's an old-fashioned English. It's lovely in many ways. Seaside. I think I'd quite like it.

I'm getting close to that retirement era. Is it good for retired people? Yes. OK. Well, yeah, maybe. OK. There'll be access to a K-hole somewhere on the island. And the village K-hole.

But we were driving along, I saw three men seemingly emerging from the island. The village cave hole. But we were driving along I saw three men seemingly emerging from the sea. When we got closer it was the statue of the Bee Gees. Yes. No. Yes. They're from there. How they were. That's why they don't have tails. In their pomp, they did look hairy enough to be tailed. Yes. The beegies. Well, I took a picture of the statue from the rear because their hair, you're talking about the back of my head, the statue of the beegies, their hair was lustrous. It's what I aim for.

And do you remember they represented the things to do with hair loss? One, I think Robin, the first celebrity I knew to have a weave. That's right. And Morris, I can't remember. I mean Barry never had an issue. Barry never had an issue. No, but was it Morris who wore the hat? The black hat? Yes. Which is the other approach to baldness. And then Barry was the control in the experiment. He had hair emerging from everywhere.

Every possible direction. I'll tell you something that the hotel did though. They turned a section of the toilet roll into a of a beautiful origami flower. Oh. Really lovely, really well done. I'd like to have met the staff member who'd done it. I would have worn it, I would have worn it happily. As a rosette. In your buttonhole. Nevermind its humble origins, I would have happily worn it as a corsage

if I'd noticed it pre-gig. I'll be the man wearing the Lu Role rose. Exactly. Do you like all that stuff when you go into a hotel? You know when they do the towels and they make them up like a swan? Have you ever had that? No, but I've never been moved. They do an elephant with the towels as well.

Oh, I get a swan. Yeah, that's the two main creatures. OK. But they don't compare with the towels. They mix get a swan. Yeah you get that's the two main creatures. Okay. But they don't compare with the tiny little blossom. Why don't they mix it up a bit? It's a slug just roll it up. Do you think you can request the animal that you'd like? So I know you did me a swan but. What we need is that magician who did the plasticine modelling onto the handkerchief. Yeah and he could just use the handkerchief. Yes of course. Cut out the middle man. Yeah so that was lovely I enjoyed that. Oh I'll tell you what made me properly happy on the

island. I've got a quiz question for you about the island man in a minute. Okay. There's a George Formby statue. Yes. And that it was so lovely and he looked so happy this was pre gig so I was still up and He's in his motorbike gear because he did a film there called no limits set at the TT. Yes, and the Amazing thing was the the sculpture a woman called Amanda Burton The amazing thing was the sculpture, a woman called Amanda Burton, had left one of the bottoms not quite fastened on his double-breasted leather protective tunic. And it was such a nice detail that he hadn't quite done that up, so she'd left it sort of sticking out.

Again, I have photos, but I hug that statue and I really felt proper warmth for it. Oh, I love that story. It's on a bench isn't it? No, it's actually leaning on a lamp post at the corner of a street. The Bee Gees, when we went past the Bee Gees, we were in like a cab and the woman's, we said, what are those three men? And she said, oh, that's the Bee Gees statue. And I said, I was on top of the pops with them. And that's not, how often do you see a statue and you know them? Outside of the Victorian era.

Yeah. Like when Larry Holmes, the boxer, drove me to his statue to show it to me. That's an extraordinary thing to do. In snow, deep snow. And he was there showing, he recreated the pose to show me. And cars were going past, he got really dangerous. People were going past and going, hold on, that is Larry Hope oh man so if you've got a if you know someone is also a statue let us know and we'll read it out and we

weren't not including living statues are you a statue Frank? Birmingham you must be no I'm a star on the floor I know that day I'm not a statue okay most statues are rubbish I'd say the standard of statues on the Isle of Man hmm there were several in the audience it's like the terracotta army I bought a notebook with the three leg I love man symbol on it from the airport the next morning and I thought this would be like a big stick to make me write funny jokes. Every time I think, I've done enough writing for one day, I'll close the book, see that cover and think, no, I'll do another hour.

Just three legs all kicking you up the backside. Exactly. Exactly. It sounds like a fabulous incentiviser, the Highland man. I think that's true. Well, I was at breakfast the next morning talking about what a... how much I hated it. And there was a couple sitting behind us and one of them went we went we actually liked it and I thought I don't like the emphasis on the

we. Well actually. We actually liked it. We flew in the face of popular opinion. Can you believe extraordinary as this may seem we actually liked it. Can I say, this is a show that's ripping up theatres all over Britain. But it's good, it's good for the old humility gene to have one of those now and again. I feel safe to laugh at this because I know it wasn't less than good. Well, look, I've got witnesses. What does Omar say? You know Omar, your tour tour manager who we love. Does Omar ever, if you asked Omar and said oh do you think that was good, does he

sometimes give you critical feedback? No. That's why he's still working for me. No I wouldn't, you know, I've softened over the years but I will not tolerate that. This whole idea of what you need is these people get a director in to talk about their comedy act. The audience is my director and on that night... What was the quiz question? Oh, the quiz question is, who opened the departure lounge at the Isle of Man airport? Back in 94! Who would it be? Is it some obscure conservancy MP? No, no, no. I wouldn't pull a stroke like that on here. Okay. The thing is, one of the things the Isle of Man government

does like to do is to stay pretty big mates with Norway. Really? No, you gotta go nearer to my home, Blank. Oh, okay. Not Carrot. Come on, we can't just do a podcast of us two going, oh. A guy at the theatre told me that Jasper Carrot had done it and he was going well, apparently, but until he said something about he was living in a house where there

was rats as big as cats. Oh, God. Yeah. OK. Was it Noddy Holder? But you know the problem with that Emily? No It's because if you mention rats Yeah in the Isle of Man people have to turn around twice and cross themselves and all sorts of things whistle Yeah, you have to whistle because he's bad luck. You can't say the word rats and no one had told Jasper So he's the the gig's going great. He mentions rats and suddenly the audience

look like they're having an episode. You have to say long tail. Yeah, and I was told about this. So I thought, oh, I've got a great joke lined up here. And I said, it's a beautiful theater. So I don't know why they turned down my one man show of the Pied Piper of Hamelin. I love that.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. But it's clever because you're also avoiding saying the actual word. Yes well exactly that was it. I thought they'll appreciate that I've made the point without actually making it. You've done it beautifully Frank. What did it get you? Nothing. Oh Frank. Who opened this lounge? Should I tell you? Yeah go on because I've only guess So he says it's someone from his part Over two hours Someone said to me, yeah, how did the show go last night? I had spectacles on I said it was terrible

I said I'm wearing these two. I saw note to get off the island on record And he went ah and I thought no I meant it. Tell us who put us out of our misery. It's Nigel Mansell OBE. Okay is he from your part of the world? He is yeah. He's got a moustache. Yeah. Yeah. A risk on the Isle of Man in 1994. I think they're just about close. I like the... Moustaches had just been legalized. Obviously, some of the quiz questions that we come up with on our podcast, who opened the Isle of Man airport in 1994?

Well, I just think, as Pierre said, I thought he must have wandered through that departure lounge many times. I have seen that a lot. I thought he must have wandered through that departure lounge many times. It is every now and then you'll see like an art center or sort of a monument or something with a plaque on the Isle of Man and you'll see a sort of crown on it and you go oh I wonder what royal did they manage to get over to open this and it'll be the king or queen of Norway. Oh okay. And you go oh still the Viking links remain.

I thought that was more like Scottish Islands. No, it used to be part of Norway. Who'd have thought? Yeah, well, run by them. If there's anyone from Norway who wants it back, now and now. If there's anyone from Norway. I actually like the place, but I'm never going there again. What, Isle of Man?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. I don't have to go that far to get a do a bad gig. Isle of Man press are going to be all over this. They're going to be delighted with this. Yeah, right. There's a story. They will. There's not a lot. I remember once seeing a press sign, you know, there's like newspaper headline summaries outside newsagents. It just said lost dog found. Oh, wow. That's like sort of man's car won't start.

I looked at the, what are that TripAdvisor thing for the theatre? Because the theatre is beautiful. Yes. I mean it really is. And I had plenty of time to stand and admire it. I like you looking at TripAdvisor, what deciding whether they're going to be nice enough facilities for you. And this guy said I went to see Calendar Girls. It was very hot in there.

And I thought... Oh, it was when you were there, you filthy creep. Well, I just thought, you've got a lot of old women naked. You can't turn them. Also, why did you go to Calendar Girls on your own? Turn the right answers down on those. You could have deaths on your hands. Deaths? Yeah. It'll look like a production of the Smurfs. Turn the radiators down on those, you could have deaths on your hands.

Deaths? Yeah. It'd look like a production of the Smurfs. Oh, yeah. Blue. Why did he go and see Calendar Girls anyway? Well, look, it was TripAdvice. There wasn't a back story.

I know, I just don't want you getting involved with people like that, Frank. Do you think there's a drugs site called TripAdvisor which tells you about that? I said it. Because there's a Radio 4 panel show that I host called One Person Family's Help. Oh I just read that's coming back isn't it? It is and we looked at reviews of Niagara Falls and one of the reviews was the cheapest crystal meth in Canada. That should have been on TripAdvice. It's a very community minded meth addict.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Normally they're quite selfish, the meth addicts. They can be very inward looking. I find them a bit unpredictable. The methodics. Yeah, I find so. I don't think they'd go to TripAdvisor. However, for information like that, Frank,

Reddit is a wonderful community. Is it, really? Well, I don't need that. I disapprove of drugs in all their manifestations. Well, I'm sure we all do. But. Let me just put that card back down now that we're supposed to read.

No, I do. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. Oh dear. Do we have any outsidey worlds in stuff? We do. We do because...

I mean, on the off chance anyone's still listening. Yeah. The whole population of the Isle of Man's tuned in. Oh no, they're all going to be in touch now, Pierre. Well, you know, wireless is. I said I liked the island and the statuary. They'll be happy with that. Yeah, but that wasn't all you said.

They'll be happy with that. Okay. We've heard from Anthony. Frank, I just saw you on television on Gogglebox. Oh, so many people have got in touch about Gogglebox. Given that the episode concerned arrivals on Disney Plus and was therefore quite recent, can we assume that those Catholic parishioners

really did manage to get you back on the telly? Oh, I see, yes, of course. I was talking about, I was in Malmesbury at a post-mass coffee morning. And in case you missed, do people miss podcasts? Not as, no, not really. I won't bother telling you that. Listen, go and have a listen.

I'm not doing your work for you. We had a lot of people getting in touch regarding the people of Malmes. Is it Malmesbury? Oh yes. Yeah. Saying their work was done. Oh well that's good. But Anthony had another question.

He says, let us see behind the curtain. How does that show work? Do they really show you the whole episode? A lot of people have also asked, was that your real house? Okay, well, I can put them right on all these things. You know, when I said I didn't enjoy doing the gig in the Isle of Man. Yeah.

Oh God, I feel a bit sick here. It was a glorious pleasure compared to filming Gogglebox. I used to love a place in, there's a place in Wool in Dorset called Monkey World. Yes. And it's beautiful because they're often monkeys that have been rescued from unkindness on the continent. And a lot of them, I think, Spanish in particular,

there's a thing of having your photo taken with a monkey. Very cruel. And the way to make them behave, and you can see this on some of the monkeys when you get close, is they've got cigarette burns on their skin that they use to make them do what they want them to do. And doing goggle box was a very similar experience. Oh, Frank, come on.

So I thought... Frank, that is so over the top. No! You've come with both revolvers here I I I thought me and Dave sitting watching the telly together. We've been doing that You know what I mean? And we have we've always had such a laugh doing it. We used to watch those infomercials And they'd sell things like this thing, this salad washer, blah blah blah, and we'd be really laughing at it and then eventually Dave would go, I'm thinking I might get this. Well that's what you...

But what happens is it's very, very produced, so you sit in a room, you only watch like ten minutes of a programme. And where is the room? This isn't yours or David's house. No, somebody who has a nice house has rented it out for filming. That always really surprises me. If you had a Gothic mansion, you'd think, you know what, I should rent this out for filming. But just a nice house in North London. It was nicer than my house, but not as nice as David's.

Someone used my house, Catherine Ryan used my house to film Who Do You Think You Are? Yeah, but that's because she's a friend of yours. Did I get paid? Did I billy? Well, this is, they just put it out on the market. Can I tell you one other thing about the Isle of Man that I forgot? It's one of the top guys at the theatre gave me a lift back to the hotel. I think it was a safety thing. And he said, we drove us back, about a 10 minute drive.

He never mentioned the kid. What? Anyway, so. So you're in the house. They're putting cigarettes out on you. Well, no, you're, now let me explain what I mean by that. That is something of a metaphor. We are sitting watching the telly and we start talking and a voice says,

say something about his jacket. I imagine you would really well to that. Then it would stop and they'd say, can you not go into digressions just keep it you know it's funny if you keep it close to what's actually happening and pretty soon I'm thinking just please make this stop and when I left I said to the guy I mean I'd made it pretty clear in a polite way. Because I said, sorry, I thought this was going to be enjoyable. You didn't say that to people, did you? Yes.

Oh my God. No, but as I left, I said anyway, good luck with all of it. And the producer said, you're not going to watch it, are you? And I said, no, no, I'm not going to watch it. And I haven't. But I watched it. It's such a shame. So I think we could have had a laugh and stuff. But to be fair to them, they know how to make it. They've to watch it. And I haven't. But I watched it. It's such a shame. So I think we could have had a laugh and stuff.

But to be fair to them, they know how to make it. They've been making it. You're not alone, Frank, because I saw Miriam Margolis. Do you say Margolis or? Margolis. Margolis. Miriam Margolis being interviewed on The Last Leg. Oh, yeah.

And they asked her and they said, and you've been on Gogglebox, Celebrity Gogglebox, earlier this evening. How was it? She went, awful. I hated every moment of it. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Okay.

You're in good company. And? I'm just saying. She played the Isle of Man, to be real. Yeah. It is the worst. I mean, I can't, yeah. When humour is being directed centimetre by by centimeter by an unseeable voice.

Well look, to be fair to them, and I want to be fair, because the producers were really nice guys. They were a nice people. They got me fish and chips. Not easily pleased. Yeah. Strange way to judge people. They've been working with a lot of non-professionals, obviously, on Goggobox, who probably need a lot of guidance. Yeah. And they've continued, and that, why change a winning formula?

Yes, that's the thing. They've got someone who is a qualified race car driver, and they're still. But I think it's quite helpful. As you get older and you've got less time, to within a couple of weeks, discover two things that you know you'll never do again. Goggles box in the Isle of Man. Yeah.

Anyway, I think we've come to the at least the Isle of Man was more enjoyable. I said the Isle of Man was it was a joyous festival of mirth compared to Goggles. David like Goggles box. We can't speak for him. No, I don goggle box? We can't speak for him. No, I don't want to. Yeah, we can't speak for him. Because he was slightly telling me off, so Frank, I think they can tell that you're not happy.

He's a nice chap and all that. Yeah. So yes, anyways, it's been lovely. I feel like I've lanced two boils with the same needle Thanks for that because as we've talked about Gogglebox my whole island man experience has started to sparkle in my memory Like the tower on the island of refuge. Yeah by night So anyway, someone said they really miss me closing the show by saying if the good Lord spares us and the creeks don't

rise. Oh, I can't remember it. It's the Frank Skinner Podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner Podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode and if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frank off the radio at avalonuk.com