The Frank Skinner Show - Plaid Suits with Thistles

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by Ruth Husko. Em’s had an awkward moment with her friend Susie, and Frank’s been doing plaid suit photoshoots ahead of his trip to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. If you w...ant to message the show, email us at FrankOffTheRadio@AvalonUK.com or WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769 Frank Skinner: Work In Progress 5th-16th August 2026Crowd Work with Frank Skinner 17-26 August 2026 Studio One at Assembly George Square Studios Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca.
Starting point is 00:00:12 Wayfair, every style, every home. The first ever, All Electric, 26th Subaru Trail Seeker is the EV for the Trail Obsessed, with up to 44 kilometers on a full charge, and DC fast charging, from 10 to 80% in about 30 minutes in ideal control. Plus, ample ground clearance and symmetrical all-wheel drive make the 2026 trail seeker the most capable EV Subaru has ever built. Test drive it at your local Subaru dealer or visit Subaru.ca. It's Frank. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know?
Starting point is 00:00:55 If a nightingale could sing like you, they sing much sweeter than they do, because you brought a new kind of love to me. Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosco. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via. I say via. Some say via. Frank off the radio.
Starting point is 00:01:18 I'm ruined it. Frank off the radio at Avalonukk.com. WhatsApp, WhatsApp, WhatsApp. It's a long one. Yeah. Of course people had more time in their case. Do you know what? I know what it reminds me of. We are.
Starting point is 00:02:12 I think the first time I remember making our Keith really laugh when I was a kid is we had a woman lived next door. In those days, neighbours was in and out the house all the time. And our dog would always go over to her. And she'd always say, oh, we can smell our dog on me. She always always said that every time. And then she said to me, to my mom, she said, I've got the vicar coming around tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:02:39 And I said to her, Keith, I bet when he comes in she says He can smell our dog on me And he probably Looking back It's had a great joke But you know I was growing You were growing into
Starting point is 00:02:55 It was a green shoot Your comedy identity And I love that you played that Because I have got very into The Young Pope I'm 10 years late This show I didn't realise With Jude Law
Starting point is 00:03:08 Do you know? Jude Law, yeah of course I'm absolutely loving it I suppose you could argue that the Catholic Church's dogma is based on Jude law. Lovely, Frank. Yeah. But anyway, I love the young pope. Have you seen the young pope?
Starting point is 00:03:21 No. Do you know what he is in this? I don't know if you'd like here, Frank. He's a little bit naughty. Oh, he's a little bit naughty. When is it set? Is it contemporary pope? He's an American pope.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Contemporary American Pope. Okay. People can't do anything about the Catholic Church unless it has to be breaking the rules. That's it. People can't get deep enough to understand anything else interesting about it. Well, I'm telling you what, I'm very deep into this. Can I say at this point that I just remembered my brother-in-law wrote a play a drama about the Catholic Church.
Starting point is 00:03:56 It was fantastic. Why do you go around offending people? I forgot he'd done that. I wasn't thinking of him. I was thinking of, you know. A Sunday brunch all over again. I still haven't recovered from the last podcast. Anyway, what else?
Starting point is 00:04:11 I think are we going to go into your week? Are we going straight into my week? Okay, fine. Can I tell you something? I did, I had a photo shoot. Yeah. With Cecily Hitchcock. Do you know, Cecily Hitchcock?
Starting point is 00:04:25 I do, yeah. She's a, what we used to call a comedian. Oh, double N. Yeah. And so we were, we got interviewed for the Guardian, Cecily and I. and the idea was she's doing Edinburgh for the first time this year and I'm doing it for the...
Starting point is 00:04:45 I don't know how many, but a lot... I'm a battle scar veteran, yeah? So it was talking about... It was having those two voices together, so we had to be photographed together. The photographer said, right, what I'm going to do, I'm just going to click the camera and can you change your expression every time, after every clip?
Starting point is 00:05:05 And I thought, how many have I got? And I was honest that I was doing expressions I honestly couldn't put a name to. I didn't, what am I expressing here? When would I use this? There was certainly things where, like my face had never done them before. My face was going, what the fuck is happening to this blow? We never have to work like this. I threw in a couple of my shaving faces.
Starting point is 00:05:36 You know, and you go, and I thought would I never do away from the sink? But it was real pressure. I don't know where Cecilie was doing, but I struggled. Yeah, she's very expressive. She is very expressive. But then they said to me, because it's about Edinburgh, they got me a big plaid suit. Did you? With a fist.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Oh, God. They've got a bit old-school, daily male. Yeah. It's like Weekend magazine, 1998. And I didn't want to bring up the phrase cultural appropriation. Did she give you a tart suit? Honestly, a tartan suit with a thistle in the... And a pint of tenants.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Oh, man. It was... You know, everyone said I look lovely in it. And are these photos promotional or will they appear in a newspaper? They will appear in the Guardian, yeah. In the Guardian? Yes. You think they'd know better?
Starting point is 00:06:35 I thought that's all they ever thought about I'm worried about with stuff like that and then it's complete oh gosh I'd tell you what I was doing now I had to keep changing because I had a few plaid suits
Starting point is 00:06:49 and I would get they had a screen you know they're like they erected a screen and what I like when I'm behind the screen when I can't be seen is to throw the trousers over the screen you know what I mean very provocative I think yeah
Starting point is 00:07:03 like it was was some sort of French farce. Yeah, so it was, but I mean that thing about... I can't wait to see those pictures. Oh, yeah. Change it, wonder which expression on the merry go-round of my expressions they'll go for. It's quite, it's a hard brief, though.
Starting point is 00:07:20 You try it. I know, but that sort of photography has sort of died out. I haven't had a hard brief since the school holidays, week five. Please, Frank. Really? Really? Oh, it was a crossed. No.
Starting point is 00:07:35 I don't want to know about your crush. Okay. Okay. I've got something to tell you both. It was a slightly mortifying incident that happened. I went to see a lovely friend of the show Anya Magliano. Oh, yes. In her show, Peach Fuzz. Highly recommend would see.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Will she be in Edinburgh, Frank? She might, well. She is in Edinburgh, yeah. I have to work out whether we clash on our shows, but if not I'll definitely. You must try and see it. And I was escorted. by Connie Huck, who you call Frank, the Incredible Huck. Yeah. Everyone calls her that now, even her own children.
Starting point is 00:08:12 I don't think she started calling her that as a result of you. Oh, wow. She's got a temper. That's why I call it. Can I say she really has not got a temper? Please. I've seen a turn of police car upside down. And do you know what? She needs to get a belt for those jeans shorts. I don't know they're staying up. All over the shop. The button hanging off. Why didn't he just get a belt?
Starting point is 00:08:36 Bell, it would have saved him so much embarrassment with those jean shorts. I know, it doesn't make any sense. We're talking about the Hulk, not really Connie Huck. Anyway, I had a slightly socially more... Actually, last week you mentioned a former Blue Peter presenter. Shall we try and get... Tim Vincent, yeah. Try and get one every week.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Shall we? This is good. But I had... I'm warming up for Katie Hill. Oh, that's one of my name. Katie Hill, formal dress with white trainers. That was so much her look. And you know, we've all adopted that really. It's become quite the look now.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah, she led the way. So I had a slightly, I wanted to know how you both would have dealt with this and whether this has happened to you. I had an awkward thing where I'm sitting there. I saw someone I knew who was maybe four seats away from me, maybe four or five. So that's tricky on the same row. Can I just say on a sidebar,
Starting point is 00:09:28 I've never been to any event with my wife when she hasn't said, I bet there's someone here I know. Yes. No matter what it is or what country it's in or whatever. And she's usually right. She happens all the time. And it worked with you.
Starting point is 00:09:45 And it worked with you. And it works with you. I could see this friend who you actually know, Frank, Susie Applin, we both know her, but she's sort of Saturday Night Live. And she sat in the same row as me about four seats away. So it's not close enough for me to reach over. But I thought I can't ignore her.
Starting point is 00:10:03 But it's too close to not notice her. Frank. So I'm in a dilemma. Mine regular method is not to see them, if you know what I mean. That's very new. But I decided it would be weird to sit there not acknowledging her. You can understand that. Because I think, what if she gets up at the interval and thinks, why didn't Emily say anything? So anyway, I lean across and I say loudly, in the manner of Alan Partridge saying, Dan, Susie, Susie, nothing. Now everyone is invested in this. This is why I always carry a telescopic litter, picker.
Starting point is 00:10:38 You can go behind the heads of the picture next to them and just take hold of a pony tail and just gently... I needed that. Frank, I felt so rejected. I'd said it three times. The people between us, the people behind us, people around. I'm going, Susie. And because she's sort of quite a big cheese,
Starting point is 00:10:58 it looks like I'm some loser who's pretending to know it. So I thought I've committed now. The whole theatre is invested in this. I've got to... She's got to respond. I should have left it. I couldn't. I went, Susie!
Starting point is 00:11:10 Susie! Oh, no, I'm feeling your pain. I get this with waiting stuff. It was so desperate. Even Connie the Incredible Hux going, it's all right, leave it now. I was at the Ivy once, and I was trying to get this waiter's attention.
Starting point is 00:11:22 And in the end, I went, excuse me! And everybody in the... McEllen was in there and stuff. Oh, it's awful. Everybody looked round, except the fucking waiter who just walks.
Starting point is 00:11:33 That's the thing. Everyone else is turning around. I think she can hear you. I think she's a terrible woman. I think she did. So this is the second time I've shouted Susie three times. At this point, I'm so desperate. I've made such a public spectacle of myself. Do you know what I did?
Starting point is 00:11:49 I never thought I'd be this desperate. There was a guy sitting next to me who I didn't know. I've seen him in S&L and I am a fan of his, actually. Hamad Anamashin. Do you know him? He's brilliant. Okay. And so I thought I'm going to have to involve him.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Was there anyone there not involved with SML? No, everyone was involved in ESSRsman. That must have been great box office for Mags. 25 quits you made that night. There were two people not involved. Phil Wang, I don't think he's involved. No, but I believe he didn't pay either. Rees-Shearsmith, do you think he paid?
Starting point is 00:12:21 He won't have paid. He had his daughter with him, I think. Well, I hope it was a daughter. She won't have paid either. I think it was a lean night for Magliano. What was the capacity? What difference does it make if they haven't paid? What do you think I am? Frank's manner.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Do you want to walk into rooms judging capacities? Is he a pay? No further comment on the sign. So? I said to Tony I owe me when I interviewed him. When's the last time you pay for a guitar? What does he say? And he said, I don't pay for guitars.
Starting point is 00:12:52 How dare you? No, go on. I eventually said, I said, I'm really sorry, Hamad. I don't know you. I mean, this is what I was reduced to. I said, but I'm a big fan. of your work. I think, so he's like,
Starting point is 00:13:04 I'm sat next to this loser fan all right now. Middle-aged woman who's obsessed by me. At least he heard you. I said, I'm so sorry, but I do know, I said that, Frank.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I said, I do know Susie Applin. I know she's your producer, but I do know her and it's just embarrassing she's not said anything. Could you get her attention? Oh, why did I do it, Frank? I thought you were going to say, can you sit here and I'll sit there
Starting point is 00:13:28 and you're going to gradually make your way along. I said, can you get her attention? I didn't even care at that. point but I was so invested. I needed validation. So poor Hammett has to reach over his part and various other people. He's going, oh, Susie. She's the producer as well, probably upset and probably won't be on the next day or just because of your selfishness. So Susie gets up. She goes, oh, hi, then she feels she has to come over.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Oh, no. And then you've got nothing to say. You have to weigh it up those things and say, is it worth the effort? So this is what I wanted to ask you both. Yes, I got to speak to Susie. I adore so it was so nice to see her. But then, of course, at the interval, I walk straight past her, so see her anyway. So why did I do that? Should I have left it? No, but the thing of everyone,
Starting point is 00:14:13 as you say, thinking, I bet she doesn't know. The producer's probably trying to get on S&M. Oh, that'd be really embarrassing. Seriously, you're not... Seriously, why haven't you answered my email? Oh, no. Terrible.
Starting point is 00:14:27 But why did I feel the need for the validation from people in the theatre I'll never see again? I didn't care because... It's terrible when you... you call out to someone who you know. It's awful fame, particularly if they're sort of doing an important job or the worst is when they're famous.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Because then I'd learnt my lesson. When I saw Phil Wang two rows ahead, do you think I was going to say, Phil? Phil, no way. No, I was at the cricket match and the captain of Warwickshire was a Derrott Reeve who was an England player as well. And he'd said, come and see me at the match
Starting point is 00:15:01 and come to the dressing room and all that. So he was walking past. I was going, Dermott, Dermott, Dermott, he wasn't here. Even though he'd asked me, I was going, people looking around to him. You don't know you, Frank. Oh, God. Oh, my God, that's awful. I know, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Terrible. I just can't bear that. I would just pretend I haven't seen him. I just can't stand yet. And if they want to come to me, great. That's what I do. If you build it, they will come. I'm going to go down your road now.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I'm not going to be this friendly and warm anymore. Oh, just can't. Oh, God, I didn't know. You were here. Yeah. So if they come out. And if they don't come up and they don't want to talk to me, and that's a lovely coincidence.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Well, that's it because I think, well, what if they don't want, you said, like, if she's thinking all that awful woman, don't want to speak to her. That's what I think they'd be thinking about me. So I'll leave it up to them. Okay. Well, maybe I'll do that next time. But, you know, I just felt, how pathetic am I? But I'm dragging this man, this successful young man I've not even met.
Starting point is 00:16:03 I'm using him, basically, to save public face, disgusting woman. When you've had your star on the Birmingham Walk of Fame rudely ripped out of the ground, you can come back to me about humiliation. When your fime has become land, Phil. Do you know, don't take this the wrong way, but that's made me feel a hell a lot better. Well, there you go. That's what I'm here for.
Starting point is 00:16:29 I really appreciate that. I recommend being friends with Frank, if you're feeling bad about yourself. I always have something to brighten your day. She was talking to Ruth and not to the general public. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?
Starting point is 00:16:53 That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get.
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Starting point is 00:17:41 rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash h-i-sa to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Frank, we've had a really interesting missive in. I'll be the don't you. No, no, carry on.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Here we go. It's from somebody has got in touch who runs... Can you be more specific? Well, you're going to hear soon. He runs a consultancy business. He consults churches. Okay. And he's gone in touch with us.
Starting point is 00:18:19 What he specifically does is he grows healthy, missional pastors, churches and denominations. He's offering you a discount. Enjoy a 40% reduction on our managing conflict. You say a pastor? Yeah. He says, enjoy a 40% reduction on our managing conflict in churches online course.
Starting point is 00:18:37 He's offering you an online course. Oh, I thought he was selling pastor. I thought he was pastor in the shape of a cross. or something like that. Growing healthy pastor. Fusili, he does the lot. Oh, man. That's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:18:53 He's offering a 40% reduction on managing conflict in churches. It's an online course that he does. Okay. And I like the code is conflict 40 that you can use. I wish you'd been there. Remember I went to that mass and the priest did a big thing about what the parishioners have been saying
Starting point is 00:19:12 about him online. It's a really tense, difficult. Do you remember he was saying that? He used the sermon and he said, so you see Jesus there, he was not trusted by the people and they turned against him even though he was doing everything. He was there to save and to help them. They turned on him.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Very similar to the white parishioners have been talking about me on social media. I honestly could not have held it together. Oh, man. It was great. Do you know what? I love it when they go a bit bitter. But I was looking at, because it's not my church. I was visiting.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Oh, yeah. The Catholic church is my church, but I don't normally go to that. So I was looking around to see if I can see guilt on anyone. I never guess it was there. Susie Apples. Oh, shut up. Susie. Susie.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Looking wracked with guilt from a vile trolling of the brink. I like that you're going into a Catholic church. thinking, I wonder if I'll see guilt on anyone, I think. Well, there was plenty of guilt on the altar. But I was, yeah, I thought there must be, there's got to be someone. I don't think he'd have done it if there wasn't anyone in a wee. But what a place to do it from the pop. It's a sort of Sunday brunch approach.
Starting point is 00:20:34 Yeah, that's watched it. It was Sunday, of course. What else? Well, we've also had some, do you remember we were talking about obscure quotes on a show recently. I was on about when you look at a film on look opera film on the internet you often get quotes from it but it's quotes
Starting point is 00:20:55 you've earned a million times you know that it puts baby in the corner. And I like ones that I personally have stopped with me even though they have no special significance to most people. Yes. And those are the quotes I like and the one I suggested at the time was
Starting point is 00:21:12 someone had a knockout drop put in their drink and someone said that lozange would have stopped Godzilla's clock. And then on the way I'm, I realised it was from a Ross Meyer film and thought I wish I'd actually quoted that. Oh, Frank. You know, it's all right. Well, different times.
Starting point is 00:21:32 I wondered if you could clear this up. Different times. I watched it in Australia. We've had this is someone's favourite movie, quote, to be specific, 653. Miss Prentice, I'm not the guy you think I am. I snore and everything. everything. Frank should know that one.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Miss Prentice, I'm not. I'm going to let you think about that because I don't, it sounds, Ms. Prentice sounds familiar. It sounds like it should be some sort of, someone who's very highly regarded. Yes. I'm just a normal human being. When it says Frank should know this one, I'm thinking it must be it's WC Fields or so. Miss Prentice sounds quite old-tushing.
Starting point is 00:22:09 No, I think it's too, because no one expects him to be grand and perfect. Oh, this is true. Okay. I don't know what knows. I'll leave that with you. Would you like to know. Would you like us to do it? Would you like us to do? discover that by the end of the podcast or do you want us to remain in ignorance? Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:23 We've also, this isn't from a... You're going to tell me what it is? I don't know yet. Oh, he hasn't told you? No, I wanted to stay in mystery and I didn't want to go. He hasn't told us. So we can find this information. This isn't a film, a quote, but I'm going to allow it. Oh, thanks. Okay. I'm going to allow it as the adjudicator. Who is it, Clive Miret? Texted him. Oh, I love Mire. It used to be my shirt, this. No, I'm allowing it, Frank. I meant a show.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Because I think you'll enjoy it. Or did I. It's from 505. Yeah. Who says, this is my favourite quote. Enid Blyton was once interviewed while staying at a hotel in Dorset in the 60s. The interviewer asked if she was enjoying her stay,
Starting point is 00:23:08 and her reply was, there are far too many children. Right. I kind of love that that's Eden Blighton. They didn't have to pretend in those days. No, they didn't pretend. They don't have to pretend. They can just say, look, I'll write children's books,
Starting point is 00:23:23 but there are far too many children. They don't have to lie. The children don't mind, the parents don't mind. It's fine. There was one as a very posh woman I was reading, and she said, yes, well, actually, one of my ancestors took part in the killing of Thomas Beckett. And to be honest, we've never been a very churchy family.
Starting point is 00:23:47 since then. I mean, talk about ancestral scandals. That's quite up there, isn't it? We're just going into quotes, which is a dangerous area. I know, but I wanted to share the Enid Blyton. Did you have another film one? Well, I got another bit of outside world, but it wasn't related to the quotes. Go on. It's all right. We can come back to them.
Starting point is 00:24:10 You were weird. Yeah. It will hurt, as they say. I don't understand. So we've got one, and I don't know who it's from. I'm so sorry because the name's not on there, but it's about unlikely albums. I think because we've talked about Alexander Armstrong wondering...
Starting point is 00:24:23 Oh, doing an album, yeah. Doing two or three. Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Frank said, not if you are. No, but... I like Alexander Armstrong. We like him. It was in the context of this house. I like him. I just don't want his fucking album.
Starting point is 00:24:39 I'm trying to save you. That's the bottom line. I tried to help. Is it good man? I did what I could. So talking of Unlately albums, Nick Knowles brought an album out a few years ago. He does a version of
Starting point is 00:24:51 every kind of people. I don't know every kind of people. That must be a long song. I've seen him do. He's very gravelly. Yes. It's very sort of... What's the sort of typical song that he would do
Starting point is 00:25:07 would be if you don't know me by and that would be that. But it would be there. You'll never have ever know me. It's honestly like that. You could fill potholes with his voice. Sorry, this is from Dave from Coventry. I saw his name at the end, but it says that his cover version of every kind of people
Starting point is 00:25:28 should have resulted in a long prison sentence for everyone involved. He's trying to sound like a blues singer from the deep south. I think his voice is quite like this. It's just like that. I mean, you know. It's a rugged sort of 70s-male voice. Very, very rugged. I saw lots of pictures of him for his album shoot
Starting point is 00:25:48 where it's acoustic guitar, he's got like a tight grey t-shirt on. It's Knowles. Yeah. It's Knowles 101. It's Nolse. It's Nolseon. Yeah. I wonder what happened to that album. I don't know if it had the... Oh, the Nick Nulls?
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah. We'll find it out. We'll look in the Guinness Book of Hit Records. Does that still exist? Is that... Do people still... Do you remember? Because I can remember the excitement when we'd go out
Starting point is 00:26:14 to buy the new Guinness Book of Records every year. Like Buzz, would he be familiar with that? Well, he is because they used to send me a free one every year, but then that stopped. Okay. So it's not greeted with the set. A kid's into records in the way that we were. It's not called the Guinness Booker World Records anymore, is it?
Starting point is 00:26:32 It's called something like the Guinness World of Records. May I ask why. There's some elaborate legal reason. May I ask why brewery got involved in record, keeping records. It's rather strange. I find when you drink a lot, if you don't write it down, it's gone. I'm guessing that's what it is getting involved in men with long fingernails in Bangladesh. That's what I always remember.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Yeah, it's always the long fingernails. I must have broke a few records when I was drinking. Oh, Frank Don't. Most waistcoat pockets containing slugs that was having slept rough. Did you have a slug in your pocket? Yeah. We got in the pub, reached into my waistcoat to get some change. And there was a slog in there that moved in during the night.
Starting point is 00:27:18 It was like the sledge on the video. Sorry, can I ask us, why are you wearing a waistcoat? Were you a magician? I used to wear a waistcoat quite a lot. A whisket. Yeah, it's quite handy for change and that when you're drinking. So you wear a waistcoat with a jacket with it or just a waistcoat and shirt? I think then it would be wintery, I'd be wearing the jacket. Yeah, not a jacket.
Starting point is 00:27:42 The jacket. That's what Frank said, everyone. He identified people by their coat. That's it, you know. You know, Trevor? You know, Trevor? He wears a tan leather chair. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:53 I know. Because you're so right. A coat was a huge purchase, wasn't it? Massive. Massive investment. A man and a woman had one coat. Yeah. Not where you live, surely.
Starting point is 00:28:04 No, I was pretending. No, I'm sorry. You feel better. I lied, okay? I bloody lied. That was very good, if you. I appreciated that. We had probably 20 coats each, okay?
Starting point is 00:28:14 I'm sorry, I'm not holding it against her. I just thought, have I missed something here? Sort of post-nuclear winter in the 80s, North London. Sometimes one has to lie to be accepted. No, it's fine. I didn't. I wasn't beating you up about it. I was just confused.
Starting point is 00:28:35 I thought you'd have personal tragedy I didn't know about. It's one of the things I love about you. You do never beat me up about the difference in our background. No, it's fine. It's fine. I've met some really nice. upper middle class people. You know, we'd have loved more than one coat.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Oh, we dreamed more than one coat. Well, as you know, what we were, it was not upper middle class because when I said to my mother, Mommy, what class are we? She said, darling, I've told you were classless. And when I said that to her boyfriend, he said, I think the darling rather gives it away, don't you? Well, I like that bit in the Ian Jewry biopic. Oh, yes, I've not seen that.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Is it any good? Andy Circus. And he says to his mom, Mom, what class are we? And she says, we're arts and crafts. I love that. Oh, yeah. Is that how you describe yourself now?
Starting point is 00:29:25 Oh, I don't know now. I can't really call myself working class anymore. I think arts and crafts is lovely for you, okay? That's what we're going to stick with. Okay. Jim, oh, I've had this problem before. I called him Jim Stourbridge. I thought he was going to say it's called Jim Clemedia.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Frank. Jim Hott Flush. Jim Stoutley. Jim Hot Flush was the first version of jumping Jack Flash. They thought it wasn't drawing in the young kids. Nick said, no, go back again. Kids won't be able to properly identify. Okay, back to the drawing board.
Starting point is 00:30:08 I had this problem before with Jim. Jim Stowerbridge, but then I think is he from Stourbridge? Yeah, there'll be a common. Nobody's caught. It's not like Eric Morkum or David Essie. Okay. So Starbridge is an area in the Black Country or both. It's where Jude Bellingham comes from.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Oh, now you're talking. Frank, can you get me to meet Jude Bellingham? I can't meet Jude Bellingham. Why not? Can't you arrange it? He'd love you. You've tried Jude Law, Jude Bellingham. What's next?
Starting point is 00:30:37 I sense a Thomas Hardy novel is going to be brought in. Too obscure for me. Oh, nice. I can't imagine that Jude Bellingham still lives in Stairbridge. No. Well, I imagine he lives in Madrid. I imagine he's in Madrid now. But I think he'd make an exception for you anyway.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I don't think he knows who I. Of course he does. He does. He's off. Once they get outside of the ring road, which is not that easy to get off at Stowebridge. You could get around forever. What do you think you're younger?
Starting point is 00:31:09 Do you think young people from Birmingham and black country would know, Frank? I think they do. they do. Not now the star's gone. Oh, that's true. I had something concrete. Oh, yes, it was concrete. Apparently they're in some underground storage somewhere.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Is that right? This is really plaguing you. You talked about it last week as well. Ozzie's star was in the exhibition at the museum, and it's like all horrible on the sides of it. It's all horrible breeze blocks sort of concrete, yeah. So hang on, they took Ozies off? Ozies went as well.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Why are they doing this? But Filch is still there. Do you know, Felch? No, but hang on the chairtaker from Harry Potter. David Bradley. I know David Bradley. David Bradley? But where is he's?
Starting point is 00:31:59 Because they've had to rip up all the road to put the tram through. So it goes all down Broad Street. Oh, these bloody trams. It's always just chance. Aston Villa football club, 1982, are still there. Fuck. You had to wait for your actual. exhibition, Frank, and then they'll put the star back in there.
Starting point is 00:32:16 There's only one way that stars going back, and it's not a price I'm prepared to pay. Frank's exhibition, I'd love that, a retrospective at the V&A. But I don't want Lucifer at the door, welcome, and I mean, with his terrible cock. Frank, sorry, but when you see that in context, people won't know what you're talking, maybe. He can go, there's a Jacob Epstein sculpture. and of Lucifer. I mentioned this last week. And as a child, I was slightly terrified
Starting point is 00:32:48 at the sight of his appendage. Yeah. Jim Stourbridge, from Stourbridge. I'll just quickly share this with you. I'm going to say Jim O. Oh. What do they call those? Amel out.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Like an apostrophe thing. An enlout? Not an omelot. Just like Cock of the Walk. You know what I mean. Like Darrow-Breen. Jim O'S. Stourbridge.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Jim Osterbridge, coming from the heart of the black country and being of a certain age, I'm aware of one of the colleges of F.E. that Frank taught at. It's a phenomenon, Frank, that as many people who went there appear to have been taught by him
Starting point is 00:33:26 as claimed to have seen the Beatles in 1963 at the plaza in Old Hill a couple of miles down the road from said college, Jim Osterowbridge, originally from Dudley, before any of the black country fundamentalists start. Yes This is true then
Starting point is 00:33:43 Is it? Wesley Perrin Wesley Perrin Yes Wesley Perrin used to go around the schools in the black country
Starting point is 00:33:49 to say I think he was a minister and he would Have you heard of him No but I know I think I know What you're going to say
Starting point is 00:33:55 And I love it Yeah Yeah well there you go She knows All my back catalogue I beg you pardon She does He used to say
Starting point is 00:34:03 There Some people say As West Bramitch Is in the black country Oh But you'll mark more words he died
Starting point is 00:34:14 that was his that was his thing I wouldn't know how to reply what would I say I can't communicate with him it's Esperanto
Starting point is 00:34:25 at this point he used to say Dudley as well we didn't dudley I love him yeah I'm no longer with us I believe
Starting point is 00:34:34 I feel like I feel like when we're talking now we're like putting on a posh voice I don't know about you Frank Oh was it like when you keep the room for best. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:43 I just don't know. It seems to move up and down like a fader. I talk to our Keith and it's honestly, yeah, you're going. And then when I'm speaking to the Royals, there's no sign of it. Oh, thank you very much. Lovely. Anyway, that's what Jim says. So the point is, Frank.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Tony, I own me, by the way. Oh, here we go. Mention I did. Strange crush. But he's got an NBA, but he hasn't got it yet. He's got a good guy. Oh, is he same as you then, Frank? He's one, M.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Yeah, I pointed out that I got mine first. But I said... Why did he's ruined this? This is where I interviewed him. I talked about on the last year. Yeah. But I said, do you know when you're getting it? He said, no, I don't know yet.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I said, will you wear a top hat? Oh, yeah. And he said, no, I do I think I will. I said, be great. If the king mistook you for Slash. Oh, man. As if the king's got a fucking clue who Slash is. He might, he might have.
Starting point is 00:35:40 I think he probably has. If Slash did a charity thing, Because they only really see the world through charity, the royals. Didn't he like, I was thinking what sort of music he likes. Didn't he like the three degrees? He did like three degrees. But I don't know if it was the music. No, I think he liked the ladies.
Starting point is 00:35:55 He loved the three degrees, didn't me? That's absolutely mean. Especially. I looked like Slash when I had a perm. I honestly did. If I show you pictures, you would see. I look like Slash when I had jaundice. Frank.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Please. Honestly Oh yeah Who was it Sarah Ferguson What was it The Ferguson in the three degrees Sheila
Starting point is 00:36:22 Sheila I think that was his favourite Oh they've always got a favourite I wish you'd married Sheila Ferguson That would have been a controversy One degree More than the whole royal family They've got put together
Starting point is 00:36:35 First ever degree In the family That first degree First degree that wasn't bought What if the three degrees Had come from the black country They'd have gone Ooh
Starting point is 00:36:51 Oh Precious mode They came on the pitch At the Albion once before the game I'll stop boasting Yeah You know we've had it in the Everest It's a bit wrong
Starting point is 00:37:01 As a sexist chanting Oh no It's different times Oh Frank I'm sure it wasn't the worst thing That was ever heard on that page Let's be honest. No, but it was quite bad.
Starting point is 00:37:12 They went out there and they had to keep their smiles, you know. Go over the pros, weren't they? Yeah. Yeah. They were only there because we had three black players who were known as the three degrees. So the whole setup was looking back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Complicated. Hmm. Next. Different times. Are we out of time? You want more? Oh, we had to talk. Oh, I hadn't even now.
Starting point is 00:37:36 When did we run out of time? I'm sorry, everyone. You know, when... Out of time. One more reference to my Tony Iommi. How many more? Why don't we just call this podcast Tony Iommi, for God say? It was, I never asked him whether, if he'd met, you know when you meet the person,
Starting point is 00:37:53 you think this is the one, this is the person of my dream. Sounds like Tony I'm homey, was it? I'll say. Yeah. Well, if he'd met a woman called Naomi, would he have thought, no, this is, this is, I'll have to, I'll have to abound as much as I love her. This could never work. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:38:15 So now I was a live feed and I got carried away and apparently I went out of time. So the live feed just cots like that in the middle of a sentence. So sorry guys, anyone who listened to the live feed. Well, you've run over now but we allowed you to carry on going around Tony I. Oh, well, I've got to say something else as well. How long, what's the time? How long we've been going? Oh, we're only just over.
Starting point is 00:38:39 The thing is here is something you need to know is that I'm going to Edinburgh for four weeks, which is eight shows. Yeah. Eight podcasts. And the truth is, it's a financial problem that I will not be able to take my loyal team. And to be honest, no disrespect, Ruth.
Starting point is 00:39:01 But to do the show without Emily, I find a bit frightening because she is my rock on which I built my church. but yeah there's no money in the pot so I don't know who I'm doing it with or whatever but it'll be you know come along Wilson look if you don't like it you don't have to listen I don't say that you're starting with a very negative footing it might be back way one of it's better
Starting point is 00:39:29 that's what we're worried about now you've took it too far what I'm trying to join it no you're not you're the one who's putting the positive Only I can do that. So this is how it should look. You're going to Edinburgh. Do continue listening because you're going to have some interesting people on, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Okay? Hold on, I interrupt. Yeah, but it won't be the same without you. Exactly. And then I go, no, don't be silly. I'm getting it. Do you get it? No, no, no, but I mean it.
Starting point is 00:39:56 No, honestly. No, no, but I mean it. No, honestly, it'll be fine. That's how they do things. That's the Deso Conaway. Yeah, exactly. But no, we will miss you for him. Yeah, but Deso Conner came in Room 101 and said,
Starting point is 00:40:12 oh, half I five, I said, oh God, I thought I had a suit, and I realised he's a different trousers. Oh, no, it's not that bad, Des. I said, we're on there. You know, we're on there? Wallace and Grumming, well? Do you mind, Frank, while you're away, wait, a four-year-go or Johnny Walker? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:28 I might take Ruth out for, we might go out for an event or something, because I think he should be a nice companion for me. You know, but jellybags. I think maybe you should ask Ruth. No, she'll be fine. Yeah. It's a bit like I'm asking for the hand in marriage. It is a bit like that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:44 What I'm saying is, I'd like her to be my friend, but I work with her, and it's a bit awkward to now raise the friendship. This is a great place. Because if she's thinking, no way in the fucking world. She can't now. Yeah, me and Applin was talking about it the other day. Absolute nightmare. She said give her the old gracious decline, if you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I would never, I would never do that. Oh, thank you. The gracious decline. I genuinely had that from a US publicist once. I'm afraid we're going to have to graciously decline. Oh, really? I think that's worse than saying, yeah. Next time I stay in a hotel, I'm going to call myself Grace Declone.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Grace Declone. D. D.V. and, you know, D. Yeah, I'm a relative of Kevin's. That's what it is. Well, Frank, we'll miss you. Have a fabulous time. Can you tell us what the show is, please? Because I get confused with all your little projects.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Yes. I'm doing my Work in Progress Stand-up show for the first which is called Frank Skinner Work in Progress and I said
Starting point is 00:41:45 Don't just put WIP because I got friends in the community who might think I've gone back to the old days and then we're doing crowd work which is a totally improvised
Starting point is 00:41:53 which I've seen on social media of you've seen it this seems to be taken off Frank Ruth lives on bloody social media Oh dear I do Sandy's signalling to me
Starting point is 00:42:03 I've got to say some else No, we've stopped now. I was just saying we've overdone apparently. Okay, that's all right. We're always overdone. I'm a child of an actress. I think we only got a C-30. Okay, well look, let me see some of us speak to you.
Starting point is 00:42:20 God willing, I will be in Edinburgh, souls. The ladies. The ladies. But sad but true. You know, money talks. What's talking about money, Frank? It's so laugh.
Starting point is 00:42:34 I'll miss you. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch,
Starting point is 00:43:04 You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com. Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home.

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