The Frank Skinner Show - Premeditated Pun
Episode Date: October 17, 2025This week Frank and Pierre are joined by Ania Magliano! In the podcasts there's mind reading, Taskmaster and a rucksack that smells of monkfish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....com/adchoices
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It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh radio.
And the one with the French name were from South Africa came.
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This is Frank Off the Radio.
I'm joined by Piennevelli and Anya Magliano.
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0-7457, 4-1-7-7-1-7-1-7-69.
It's that one again.
I didn't want to ever got a female guest.
Can you still say female?
Yeah, you have to.
I have to check with the youth.
Am I the youth correspondent?
Yeah.
I think you're sort of hard.
Oh, that's really what, I don't know what your age is corresponding to P.S.
Different generations, I think.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, different generations.
We're not going into the age.
You're Z.
So since we last add you on the podcast, Max,
You've been on what's known, I think, as the Star Maker TV series, Tass Master.
Yes.
How was that for you?
It was great.
I mean, it's halfway.
It's at the halfway point.
Five episodes have gone out.
So I'm half star.
Obviously, I knew that.
No spoilers.
Yeah, it feels like you haven't watched it.
No.
Is it getting hotter in here?
I've never watched it since the first series when I was in it.
Yeah, which made your career famous.
It did. I think it had the reverse effect, I think it's a bookend for many careers, but for mine it was the second bookend.
How was it for you though? It was really fun. It was a really fun thing to do. I think it feels like being a kid, you just get to play around and mess around, which I really, really enjoyed, very silly. I thought I did it all incredibly. That's the
bit that's a bit hard to square when you're in the studio watching it back and I thought I did
all this the best way and I did it all perfectly and I didn't no it's when other people have done it
better that's terrible and you have to not react like they have as well we and Tim key we'd done a
film together for it a little sort of comedy thing which I did like 30 seconds and then the
others had done one between them and when they played theirs
theirs was rubbish and i kept looking at tim and tim was like bursting with glee
i mean he was looking at me and like he was clapping his hands together
because we knew ours was better now and then we sat back and it absolutely ripped
the roof off oh that was a great moment yeah other people's rubbishness can be very
soothing but you have to kind of keep it inwards a little bit
A little bit, yeah.
The one thing that I have noticed in the way it's changed my...
Who are you on with, by the way?
You don't have to name them all.
Just give us a souson.
What's a souson?
Just a little taster.
A little spoon for it.
Okay, I'll give you one name.
Okay.
Reese.
Reese.
Yeah, that's a souson of his name.
Oh, okay.
I meant of the group rather than of an individual.
Oh, I would say national treasures and new faces alike.
Yeah, there is a formula.
Yes.
But I can't remember what it is
But I was obviously
National Treasure
Yeah
You were the season one treasure category
Seasoned
I was the seasoned one
Seasoned one
Like Marino is the special one
I was the seasoned one
It's changed
I've noticed
Because something that's happened
Since it's come out
Is I'm getting
Approaches in my DMs
On Instagram
Which didn't really happen before
sort of romantic interest.
Oh, I thought you meant business offers.
No, from men with children.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Which I'm thinking, I was like, what does that,
how am I coming across?
It's usually American dads with a young son.
That is so specific.
Which is not the vibe, I think.
I'm not giving off trad wife.
I hope.
Maybe that's not what they want.
Right, maybe that's what they've done
and now they're looking for a fresh start.
Yeah, it's like, you know, when you want someone,
Because there's two, I think, when your relationship is crumbling,
you either want someone very similar like Rod Stewart or, you know,
they think they're called carbon mating when you have a carbon copy of the previous.
Yeah, always the same.
Or you absolutely want someone who is as least like your last partner as possible.
So, yeah, this could be a guy with a trad wife who sees you as sort of tank girl.
What did you say?
Tank girl.
Tank?
Do you not know, a tank girl?
Like a tank?
No, like it's a character.
Oh, no, I don't know who that is.
It's like a comic book character of your...
A tomboy.
Oh, okay, okay.
They see you as a refreshing alternative...
To femininity.
Exactly.
I think femininity, you know.
It's too touchy a subject.
What we want is a bit butch like yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
This is not where I thought this would go at all.
I'm wearing a freely top.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you're wearing corduroy trousers.
Okay, those are private.
And also, did you say you're in DMs earlier?
Oh, no.
I'm in my hiking shoes.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah.
But it's always an American father with one son.
Yeah, and the Instagram profile is always like photos of his son up a mountain or sort of thing.
But there's no picture of the wife or...
It might not be a wife.
She might have fell off the mountain.
Yeah, that would be the explanation.
Oh yeah, it does, in the captions of the photos, it says so sad.
It's actually a video, which begins, you can just see a step back a bit further, but oh.
So sad to revisit that mountain where that tragedy happened.
And then he opens a letter and it says, your task is to kill your wife.
Oh, okay, well, that is an interesting to that.
Yeah, I wonder whether it's maybe they're watching Taskmaster with their son, maybe the sun is watching.
Oh, and the sun is watching.
saying what a great replacement
she'd be for up my late mother.
Get her.
Yeah.
Leave it to me because they're very get up and go
the Americans. Yes, yes.
That's true.
That's true.
And also, um, well,
you're nicknamed being Mags.
Perhaps they're associated that
with the Maga movement. Yeah.
Yeah, maybe they
yeah. But then if they're into Maga,
then they're probably not into Tank Girl or whoever I am now.
No.
Well, it's,
let's imagine that the MAGA movement
is more wide range
than we might think.
You'd be Anya Maga Leana.
Whoa!
Could rebrand.
Oh my God, this is starting to...
I can see how people go down this path.
You can make a lot of money.
Yeah.
You should have to say mad things.
Maybe it's worth a good pun.
A good pun is kind of...
Nothing wrong with a good pun.
Maybe worth compromising my whole viewpoint.
I think some people's careers are driven by puns primarily.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
certainly true
I've had to give them up
I had a major revelation
about ponds
because I love ponds
and I think in ponds all the time
so I normally I just let them out
but I realised
in a conversation with a group of other comedians
David Bedele
Josh Whittickham and Sarah Barron
that I think we arrived together
at the idea that ponds are really
impressive if you know they're spontaneous and they've just happened but if you've written them
they're slightly disgusting you know you think you wrote that and then brought it to me you
insult me by thinking i would like it you sat at your desk a premeditated pun yeah yeah exactly
in cold blood yeah no i think a pun in cold blood you need spontaneity in a pawn and then it's sort of
it's quite it's like you know a magic trick yeah i think that's probably
right. Why are you off the puns?
Because people, I get
sick of that. I had a thing,
I did, we recorded
I do a Radio 4 show, which you've both done actually,
called One Person Founds Helpful.
And I did a pun on it last night.
I kind of remember what it was, and the audience went
and I just felt my blood boil.
And I said, if you people
was locked in a small room for
two hours, you'd never come up
with a joke anywhere,
the quality of that.
And they applauded.
They applauded for truth.
Truth has arrived in our lives at last.
They wanted some stern discipline.
Yeah, it shows that what people really long for in 2025 is chastisement.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, there's a Puritan quality to the public.
So here's the thing.
I went, I would took part in a
in a mind reading act.
Oh.
Oh, officially?
Well, I was called upon stage.
Oh, I see.
By a sort of...
A mesmerist?
Yeah.
Yeah, obviously.
A mesmerist.
No, no, it's a violinist.
I know why...
Well, you've got to have a backup these days.
What was the other sort of outdated term that sort of sounds...
A mentalist?
That, yeah, that's just the word I was...
Sounds basically, correct.
It was a man and his wife, and she were a very...
elegant blue gown with a matching blue um blindfold. I love it when women
accessorized with a blindfold. Anyway, I was called up and the man said, uh, okay, um, I need you to
think of a time on a digital clock. Okay. You know, like, uh, I'll tell you what I thought of.
I thought of
451.
I'll be straight with you.
Okay.
And I don't actually believe in the mind reading thing.
I don't think,
but I sort of believe in everything,
if you know what I mean.
There's always a bit of doubt in me.
So I got up there and I had to sit at a table
and I had to write down this thing,
he ding it with my hand.
Yes.
You know the old term,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure.
The old English.
For concealment, yeah, exactly.
He'd done sick.
Exactly.
The old children's game.
Exactly.
So I had my hand down.
You know when you want a person sitting next to copy at school?
I wrote it down like that.
So it was 451.
And then the woman starts holding her forehead as if it's coming through.
And she said, I want you to think, think, want you to visualize this number.
on a digital clock
and I thought to myself
I can't believe now
I thought
wouldn't it be a good prank
to think of a different time
that would mess her up
I thought
that had meck her look pretty stupid
and then I thought
no I can't do that
that's just a bit cruel
to be thinking of a different time
I was honestly
rationally thinking this
that it made any difference. So I went
back to the 451
and she
said it's 451
isn't it? And she said
in the morning I would
say and I said
I don't think we talked about a 24
hour. Yeah
so I hadn't done 16
yeah right
cool yeah it was
and did she say and I heard about
your little prank
Yeah, exactly.
I don't ever try that again.
That would have been terrified.
I saw you thinking about that.
The bloke had those, you know, those cards
and they have like wavy line and a circle and a diamond.
And then they test psychic powers.
You're shaking your head.
I don't know about this.
Well, he said, has anyone seen these cards before?
And I was with my 13-year-old son.
He said, yeah, in the first Ghostbusters,
Dr. Peter Vankman uses them as a psychic,
and get of a whole Ghostbusters-based section.
And the guy said,
I've been doing this trick for,
I don't think he said trick.
He wouldn't think of it.
I've been doing this live.
I've been doing this very real thing for five years
and no one has ever said that.
I was so proud.
Yeah, that is great.
Good to bring Ghostbusters into everyday life
at every opportunity, I think.
What do the cards do?
So I would, you would hold the card.
and look at the symbol.
Oh.
Or I would hold the card
and look at the symbol
if I was testing you for your psychic powers.
This was in a book I read last night.
You what?
Yeah.
Oh my God, the medium is with us.
Yeah.
And in my house.
It would have been better if you'd read it tonight, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
But even...
Should we do a retake?
But even...
Can we do that again, Clive?
I read it tonight.
Yeah, really?
Not I read it tonight.
Well, that won't work.
I will read that tonight.
I'll Google it.
What's the book about?
The book, so I bought a book,
this is the first time I've done this,
to try and engage with the, like, seasons.
I bought a sort of spooky book
to read in time for Halloween.
That's good, yeah.
Called The Haunting of Hill House.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Have you heard it?
I was recommended it by Ed Knight.
Big film as well.
Yes.
So, and they just mentioned those cards
in probably the page I folded down over last year.
Oh, you're down to that.
folding den, I hate that
I hate book abuse of any kind
You're using my wooden spoon as a bookmark
Yeah but that won't
Hirm the arm
I'm doing multiple choice verbs
It won't I
Horm the book
It won't be
Harm the book
You've been spending too much time in Norway
Frank
I have
I gotta get the hell out of there
Ghost Busters
Do you know how
they would have done the trick
to know what time you were thinking.
Yeah. Have you reversed engineered it?
Well, unfortunately, we did
in the car on the way back.
Me and my wife were talking about
how it might have been done.
And Boz said, never, ever did this to me again.
When I go to a magic show,
I just want magic tricks.
I don't want two grown-ups sitting.
Oh, maybe there was a camera.
He said, you've really spoiled it.
Oh, God.
I felt terrible about it
That's great
Never do this to me again
But that was a valuable lesson
Is that the moment
The loss of innocence
Well I think it was a very good point
That is not
I don't like that
You know you know people who make films
Now I live in a world where I know people who make films
And they'll say
Oh yeah what they've done there
Is that CGI and I don't want to know any of that
I think it's one of my worst qualities.
My dad did that, to me growing up, he'd always point out stuff.
And now I kind of have a compulsion to like, if I'm at a show or something
and I see like, oh, there's a thing in the rafters of like,
oh, look, something's going to come down in the second.
And it's so for my own ego.
Like, it's so not for the other person at all.
It's to be like, look, I'm not like the other audience members.
I am the noticer.
Yeah.
No, but isn't it saying, I'm in the business?
Yeah.
I need to stop doing it, but it's just, my dad did it all the time growing up.
There was a woman, I probably shouldn't say a name, but it won't make any difference.
Her first name was Polly, let's put it this way.
And she was, I think she was a troubled member of the local community.
And she used to go to the regent cinema when we went as kids.
And if someone went into a room where there was a guy waiting with a gun,
and she'd go, oh, don't go in there.
What are you going in there for?
Look, it was, it was, I mean, we laughed, but obviously, it completely ruined a film.
Oh, look, no, obviously you're going to get shot.
It was all that stuff.
That's exactly what I think when I'm watching.
I'm on Polly's, I'm Team Polly, me and Polly would watch the film together
and have an amazing time.
She was quite bogey, actually.
I really did not think we were going to return to that.
Oh, I love a callback.
Me.
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Have we had any messages
from the outside world
or Alfresco Monde?
Lou Tremere.
We had some theories about,
you had a mystery song
last week.
Well, what I've recently,
songs have started coming into,
the two things have happened to me
song-wise.
One is, they've started.
coming into my head and I don't know what the song is.
Yes.
But chunks where I know quite a lot of the lyrics.
But the other thing I'm having is that my filter is broken on singing.
So I've started singing in the street and stuff I've noticed.
Really?
Yeah, but I have...
In the rain.
I've suddenly, someone's looked at me and I thought, surely I haven't been recognized.
And then I thought, oh God, I'm singing.
I'm actually...
And it's, yeah, my...
It's not good.
I sing on the
Overground
and stuff like that
You're going to be Polly soon
I don't mean like
I don't mean like
I don't mean like
arm stretched
It's a broad
Way
Melo
I don't mean that
Oh you meant Polly
I thought you meant like Pollyamorous
Oh no
You think like that's how it starts
You get into musical theatre
And naturally
I don't think anyone
Ever got polyamorous
Not with Polly
You start with show tunes in public
can you end up in a warehouse with a seven wives and three husbands?
No, no.
I don't know what that means.
No, so you thought I meant you were becoming polyamorous.
Oh, I see.
No, I'm not polyamorous.
I'm very monogamous.
Thank good we got to the bottom of that.
I'm picturing you with tap shoes sort of doing sideways jumps over workmen as they carry things.
I wish.
You know, when I watch Strictly come dancing, I still think, and I've never ever been able to dance.
And I still think, who knows, two hours in a studio, and it might.
might just click.
Would you do it?
Speaking as your agent.
I don't think I would,
I don't think I'd do it.
I think I'd be,
I'd be, you know, they have like an older man on for humiliation purpose.
My thought is always to always be dressed as a giant grouse
dancing to George Ezra's shotgun.
Yeah.
With the woman, a sexy lady, but in tweeds.
Yes.
You know, and stuff like that.
As if I was being pursued.
Yeah, and a cane, either shaped like a shotgun or like a walking cane.
Well, they'd probably have a shotgun that fired confetti or something like that.
Right at the end.
Oh, God, that sounds really good.
It's good.
You should do that just for a special edition of this podcast.
But you know, like, I don't know if you're a strictly fan,
but it's show three at the moment.
So there's still people who are terrible on it.
And that's what I'd be.
There's what I, we call in our house, dancing around the tree.
so there's usually a male celebrity who could barely move
and a professional dancer really overcompensated
and absolutely like jitterbogging around it
as if they've got inside
and you think oh look he can't do you think we're not going to notice
that he can't dance you know if I'm noticing the judges
will certainly notice well the mysterious song
where you couldn't figure out what fragment it was
our own Ian Engel
as a theory
Frank don't worry
well he says it with back
referencing to your lost parcel last week
Frank don't worry your parcel will turn up some time
same shit different day
oh I've never heard that saying before
have you not no it's good
it's a classic you should work it into your usual
rotation same shit different day
now I'll still with my old black country ones
look if we die one thing it's somewhere else
very different vibe
Ian claims your introduction song was telephone line by ELO.
Does that ring true?
Hello, Mr. Oh no, it wasn't Mr.
Hello, how are you?
Have you been all right?
Oh, yes, it could be that.
Didn't I say it could be ELO?
It was put to you, it was put to you by Emily D.E.L.
That popular Yorkshire greeting.
That's good.
See, that was a pond spontaneous.
Yeah, and it was magical.
If I'd have turned up with that.
Well, we don't know that you didn't.
No, that's true.
But how would I have known that was going to come?
Yeah.
Unless I'd planted an E. L.O. song, like, fuck, could that be allowed?
Never do this to me again, Frank.
Don't discuss how you might have faked an improvisation.
I never want to know.
Another, well, another song query, actually, about a different opening song from Rain.
with a knee at the end.
Hi, Frank and team, long-term reader, first-time writer.
It is driving me nuts trying to work out the words to Frank's lovely intro song.
Some lyrics queries.
It sounds to me like, from South Africa came, they're all here on rugged terrain, close brackets today.
I don't think it's that.
It's not.
It says, I'm sure it isn't that.
What the heck is it?
Huge amounts of praise redacted.
Yeah, it's from, yeah, I don't know.
They're all here, so be happy hooray, isn't it?
I don't, is that what it is?
Open brackets, hooray.
There's open brackets, hooray, that's right.
They're all here, open brackets, hooray.
Oh, that's, yeah, very clever.
Of course no one's going to be able to figure that out.
Close brackets today.
I trust my audience.
I don't hold them in contempt.
That's the sort of Bruce Forsyth, approach.
Bruce Forsy would say.
So I was in the kitchen the other day.
So I was in the kitchen.
The other day I was in the kitchen.
and I think he's thinking eventually I'll get through these impenetrable oaths
if I keep repeating it over and over like this
but I trust them and that's why I get
that's why I have to have arguments with them
I think I've remembered what that
there was a review of a Taylor Swift album
that said this is for teenagers who are in their 30s
And you have to guess what it was
and I said it was chronology for dummies
The book
It got nothing
At all
It's a bit like
If you look at Mags now
Someone like I'd suddenly switch to Cantonese
Mid
Podca
Anyway I'm going to keep aiming high
And you know
We'll see how it goes
Absolutely
Well you're also fortunate to be in a position where
You can aim high and then if it doesn't work
You can say to the audience
no think again
and they'll go actually yes
we've reviewed your application
we've decided to approve it
anyway so
so that's that's it for me an angle
yes lyrics qualify well rain
rain was the one who wanted the lyrics
clarifies oh yes okay sorry
I'm I go before my horse
to mark it
Graham
has a
not quite a correctione
but see what you think of this
hi everyone I left a
comment on last week's show
but I'm not sure which ones you read out
I think maybe he's talking about Instagram or something
I'm not really sure which...
Or maybe Spotify they have comments on Spotify now
horrible
youth correspondent
The modern world comes in like a ray of sunlight
through a stained glass window
like Frank Graham says I come from
the black country and in reference to what's for dinner
Emily said she would eat last
night's canopays
Yes.
To which Frank said he'd never had any.
Well, I beg to differ,
as everyone from the black country
has at at least one canapes.
It's very fine.
Oh.
Even Max got it eventually.
On the delay.
On the Zoom delay.
Canapes.
I walked past an angler once in the black country.
I know I was fishing with my brother, and he came past.
He said, caught any fish?
As in, have you caught anything?
All right.
And I said, yeah, well, I said, yeah,
we've had a few, he said, oh, you'll cot you mean.
He said, I've gotched him on pays.
Meaning that he'd put peas on the hook and still caught fish.
Fisher would come up for peas.
They were so keen to be caught.
Off caught them on pays.
It's a different world.
He had the opposite approach to fish as Bruce Forsyth would have.
Unelitist, seeing them as enthusiastic.
participants.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Yeah, I wish I've...
I've got a bit of the Bruce in me,
but I, you know, I still dream.
I still dream of a show
where people get everything.
This is why I pray.
Every reference he gets.
Every reference.
I don't have to explain any.
Do you, him?
No, God.
Oh.
Every reference.
Brilliant.
Yeah, if you're omnipotent.
getting mistaken for God once again.
Yes, and your son.
Peter's got that big beardy God thing going on,
but he's more Norse, I would say.
God of a very specific area.
There were some weirdly specific ones.
Yeah, but the Norse gods,
their gods have sort of started like mischief.
There's some debate whether Loki's a god, actually.
He might, yeah, he's a child of a god and a giant, I think.
Yeah, I think he's an ice giant of one of those guys.
Yeah. I hate them.
Sterquillinous, sort of ancient Roman.
Sorry, I thought, I thought you were sneezing.
Just clearing my throat, yeah.
Stoquillinus, who is that?
Sturquillinus.
The god of manure and also fertility, sort of.
Oh.
I can see that connection.
Ancient Roman, it makes sense, you know, spring.
Yeah.
You get some very specific ones.
When I said I can see the connection between fertility and manure,
I meant putting it on the garden.
It wasn't a bedroom, right.
It's not...
The lady doesn't protest too much.
It's not some sort of angle of triangle of persuasion.
You're the man himself.
Consider ye.
Is it quintilius?
Sturquillinous.
Okay.
That sounds like when my cat stands on the keyboard
and just presses loads of keys.
Oh yeah.
Type stickwilinus.
How is it spelt?
Stirk willness.
I think podcasts that do spelling are on the way out.
Okay.
Do not tell me.
I don't want to know.
I'll tell you after.
Just imagine.
We haven't really had any incidents from your life other than Taskmaster.
And I like to know what you've been up to, Max.
Well, I've got myself into a bit.
My life is being really ruined by one quite constant problem that I've got,
which is when I was in Edinburgh, we were living next to waitrose.
And that was really luxurious.
And I got, I would get the sort of ready meals.
that were on discount
and I got a sort of monkfish
ready meal one day
and I think the flap was loose
and so monkfish spilled all over my bag
so then for the whole of Edinburgh
my bag smelt like monkfish
and I was trying to figure out to clean it, wipe it
and then I googled it and it said
use vinegar
to get rid of the smell
but I didn't know that there's a specific type of cleaning vinegar
so I used
white white vinegar
I used malt vinegar
And now my bag smells of fish and chips
And it really is making
And it's, this has been
I mean, what month are we in now, October?
I still can't, this was in an office
And I still can't get rid of the smell
And all my stuff is smelling of fish and chips
Which isn't the worst
But I don't want to have the vibe of like
A deep fat, fry a person
My mom worked in a fish and chip shop
Really?
And she never shrugged it
I mean, even like when she hadn't been there that day,
it was in her hair, all that kind of stuff.
But of course, she just made us hungry all the time.
Morning, mum.
Oh, I love ice fishing.
She on a Friday.
She was mobile marketing.
I don't know why it was Friday, yeah.
But she used to bring home like a big bag with like eight fish
and like the biggest part of the chips you've ever seen
and cod row and all sorts of stuff.
great fish and chips is just so nice it's not a smell you aren't following
because it's marketing is it smell well people avoid it don't know people say
you can't have fish and chips in my car because I'll never get the smell out but you've
actually created it yeah and you say the bag smelt like monkfish which I think is a very
funny specific yeah not fish monk fish which I didn't even know what that smelled like
beforehand it's a fact I'd love you'd know that someone had led a good life if they
went gosh things of monk fish in here not fish no no no god no
No wonder the cats playing the keyboard.
Smell of mumfish in the house.
It must be like I said, Andrew Lloyd, where about work, concentrate on my work and I forget my problems.
Yeah, and I don't know whether to get a new bag now, because I just bought this bag as well.
I bought it for Edinburgh, have a nice rucksack to be able to carry all my notes and stuff around it.
And now it smells so bad.
And also, and this is it, maybe this is a sort of a subplot.
I did a wrestling show.
last week, the comedian's wrestling show.
Did you wrestle?
I did.
They trained for months.
Yeah.
Big deal.
I didn't because I wasn't asked initially,
but I was replacing someone.
That's the thing that Taskmaster has done to my career.
As soon as someone drops out, I'm first on the road.
Look at me here today.
Yeah, that's true.
That is true.
We were doing that before Tasmasker.
Yeah, that's true.
You shone your light upon me much earlier
than the general public.
But I had to
When a noise is coming from an empty shop
I go straight in and investigate
But then I am
So I was borrowing one of the wrestlers' outfits to wear
Oh that must have been clammy
No it was it was a it was a like a
Almost more like a body suit
Female wrestler
So like sort of top and
Tops and tights
And I put it when we were training I
took it off her and put it in my bag
and then on the day
took it out of my bag in front of her
and then I smelled it to be like
oh my God I've made it smell but then she saw me
smelling it so she thinks I'm smelling her clothes
or and either in a judgmental way
or in a perverted way
so then I had to say sorry
my bag is filled with monkfish
can I wash this to you
and get it back in my own time
so I guess I'm just asking
for if anyone knows how to get rid of
that smell. How did it go
in the ring? It was.
I felt so alive. It was
so electric. I got spun around
by a big man. Something to be said for that.
Sometimes life's pleasures are really that simple.
And I got such a big cheer
that it was almost sad
because I thought, well, I'm never going to get
anything like that for comedy.
No, I know what you mean.
Have you ever had a reaction for something where
it's out of your wheelhouse and you go, oh,
The ceiling for that is so much.
I'm never going to get a laugh that big.
Like, the crowd just were...
It's like when you drop your tray in the school dinner hall.
I mean, applause, you're really full-throated cheering.
And I guess you're kind of chasing that for the rest of your life.
I think you probably are.
But it's not...
So did you win?
I didn't win.
I was in the tag team tornado, which was nine different teams all coming in at different points.
And I got splattered by a man called.
called Big Damo, who's very big.
I used to watch a lot of wrestling before it became popular,
which is true of most of my fans.
And there was lots of women.
There was Miss Cleopatra,
always introduced as Miss Cleopatra all the way from Egypt.
Sure.
And she had that.
That's very foresight.
And then he'd say stuff like,
you just behave yourself, Cleopatra.
And she'd say, well, he at me first.
Don't you go blaming me?
And I thought, yes, this is, which part of the Nile?
Southwest Egypt.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, man.
I saw so many.
I think I mentioned on this show before, Black Widow, who was a baddie.
Oh.
Who used to come on and give the audience a V sign,
which began with, as she brought the V sign up,
her fingers touched the canvas.
It started that low.
And then went high, high, the most elaborate.
fuck off any audience has ever been given.
That's amazing.
Yeah, she was a terrifying looking individual.
I did a move called The Black Widow.
I wonder if it was sort of from her.
What did you eat your husband?
Yeah.
Yeah, it went down quite bad.
Did you hide in an Australian toilet?
What is the Black Widow move?
What I did was called a Tiltowulfus into a Black Widow,
which is I like kind of ran out.
to a guy kind of got spun around on top of him, his shoulders,
and then got him in the lock, a submission move,
pulling his arm back and having my legs, like, clenching his neck.
Wow.
It was electrifying.
It sounds great.
I think it's better than comedy.
Oh, come on.
You know, I'm too old to wrestle.
You can be the Vince McMahon figure, the sort of sinister owner.
You know, my bones are like aeros.
If I tried something like, I'd just, there'd be dust coming out of my orifices.
Oh, no.
But, yeah, it's, it was a celebrity boxing thing going on at one time.
Oh, yeah.
Long time.
It was Ricky Javees boxed something.
I think he did.
Really?
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be, yeah.
Who would you most like to see box from the celebrity world?
Thanks going to.
Alan Carr.
At Bankskinner.
Alan Carr.
Alan Carr.
I'd like to see the rage that's in there come out.
Do you think there's an element of like,
these are people who probably weren't very sporty at school.
Because that's what I wasn't very sporty at school,
so I feel like I get a special thrill from doing it.
Maybe that's what's going on.
Some justice.
Some justice.
Do people hold up handwritten signs as they do at modern day wrestling?
No.
Okay.
What do they do?
Like the big slogans from the catchphrases from the characters.
No, they had the big hand.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, the big fan.
The big foam hand.
The big foam hand was an appearance.
It's a big crowd.
It's 3,000 people, I think.
Yeah, it was at the Apollo, and it was sold out.
Wow.
And it was massive, yeah.
And professional wresters doing it as well.
A mixture.
But it was really fun.
Oh, I'd look dangerous.
Yeah, and three people did get injured.
Yeah.
And it was dangerous.
Yeah.
You could do it out, Pia.
I just get some sort of insane injury.
I know my own luck.
I'm one of the people who gets injured at things
every time
Yeah I saw a bloke
Well I saw one wrestler
An old lady
I say old lady
At looking back she was probably 40
But she was an old lady went out
And also you know
In those days in the West Midlands
If you were 40 you looked 80
And she
A wrestler landing on the floor
And she got up really quickly
For an old lady
And put a cigarette out on his back
Oh that's great
The performance of it is so fun.
Yeah.
It's good you see that as fun.
He means for real, by the way.
What do you mean?
Oh, what?
It wasn't...
No, I mean she actually put a cigarette out.
She got it from the crowd.
Oh, I thought...
No, she wasn't in on it.
Because I didn't even know until I did this
that wrestling was, like, choreographed.
Oh, shh.
Here we are again in the car.
I'm talking about the mind reading.
We've got to go now.
I can't cope with this.
Sorry.
Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know.
Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode.
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