The Frank Skinner Show - Premeditated Pun

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

This week Frank and Pierre are joined by Ania Magliano! In the podcasts there's mind reading, Taskmaster and a rucksack that smells of monkfish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:06 And the one with the French name were from South Africa came. They're all here open brackets, array, close brackets, today. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Piennevelli and Anya Magliano. Remember her? Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via. Frank Off the Radio, AvalonUK.com.
Starting point is 00:01:39 And when it comes to WhatsApp, 0-7457, 4-1-7-7-1-7-1-7-69. It's that one again. I didn't want to ever got a female guest. Can you still say female? Yeah, you have to. I have to check with the youth. Am I the youth correspondent?
Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah. I think you're sort of hard. Oh, that's really what, I don't know what your age is corresponding to P.S. Different generations, I think. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, different generations. We're not going into the age. You're Z.
Starting point is 00:02:18 So since we last add you on the podcast, Max, You've been on what's known, I think, as the Star Maker TV series, Tass Master. Yes. How was that for you? It was great. I mean, it's halfway. It's at the halfway point. Five episodes have gone out.
Starting point is 00:02:37 So I'm half star. Obviously, I knew that. No spoilers. Yeah, it feels like you haven't watched it. No. Is it getting hotter in here? I've never watched it since the first series when I was in it. Yeah, which made your career famous.
Starting point is 00:02:51 It did. I think it had the reverse effect, I think it's a bookend for many careers, but for mine it was the second bookend. How was it for you though? It was really fun. It was a really fun thing to do. I think it feels like being a kid, you just get to play around and mess around, which I really, really enjoyed, very silly. I thought I did it all incredibly. That's the bit that's a bit hard to square when you're in the studio watching it back and I thought I did all this the best way and I did it all perfectly and I didn't no it's when other people have done it better that's terrible and you have to not react like they have as well we and Tim key we'd done a film together for it a little sort of comedy thing which I did like 30 seconds and then the others had done one between them and when they played theirs theirs was rubbish and i kept looking at tim and tim was like bursting with glee
Starting point is 00:03:59 i mean he was looking at me and like he was clapping his hands together because we knew ours was better now and then we sat back and it absolutely ripped the roof off oh that was a great moment yeah other people's rubbishness can be very soothing but you have to kind of keep it inwards a little bit A little bit, yeah. The one thing that I have noticed in the way it's changed my... Who are you on with, by the way? You don't have to name them all.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Just give us a souson. What's a souson? Just a little taster. A little spoon for it. Okay, I'll give you one name. Okay. Reese. Reese.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Yeah, that's a souson of his name. Oh, okay. I meant of the group rather than of an individual. Oh, I would say national treasures and new faces alike. Yeah, there is a formula. Yes. But I can't remember what it is But I was obviously
Starting point is 00:04:52 National Treasure Yeah You were the season one treasure category Seasoned I was the seasoned one Seasoned one Like Marino is the special one I was the seasoned one
Starting point is 00:05:06 It's changed I've noticed Because something that's happened Since it's come out Is I'm getting Approaches in my DMs On Instagram Which didn't really happen before
Starting point is 00:05:17 sort of romantic interest. Oh, I thought you meant business offers. No, from men with children. Ooh. Yeah. Which I'm thinking, I was like, what does that, how am I coming across? It's usually American dads with a young son.
Starting point is 00:05:35 That is so specific. Which is not the vibe, I think. I'm not giving off trad wife. I hope. Maybe that's not what they want. Right, maybe that's what they've done and now they're looking for a fresh start. Yeah, it's like, you know, when you want someone,
Starting point is 00:05:47 Because there's two, I think, when your relationship is crumbling, you either want someone very similar like Rod Stewart or, you know, they think they're called carbon mating when you have a carbon copy of the previous. Yeah, always the same. Or you absolutely want someone who is as least like your last partner as possible. So, yeah, this could be a guy with a trad wife who sees you as sort of tank girl. What did you say? Tank girl.
Starting point is 00:06:17 Tank? Do you not know, a tank girl? Like a tank? No, like it's a character. Oh, no, I don't know who that is. It's like a comic book character of your... A tomboy. Oh, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:06:29 They see you as a refreshing alternative... To femininity. Exactly. I think femininity, you know. It's too touchy a subject. What we want is a bit butch like yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. This is not where I thought this would go at all.
Starting point is 00:06:45 I'm wearing a freely top. Yeah. Yeah, but you're wearing corduroy trousers. Okay, those are private. And also, did you say you're in DMs earlier? Oh, no. I'm in my hiking shoes. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Yeah. But it's always an American father with one son. Yeah, and the Instagram profile is always like photos of his son up a mountain or sort of thing. But there's no picture of the wife or... It might not be a wife. She might have fell off the mountain. Yeah, that would be the explanation. Oh yeah, it does, in the captions of the photos, it says so sad.
Starting point is 00:07:21 It's actually a video, which begins, you can just see a step back a bit further, but oh. So sad to revisit that mountain where that tragedy happened. And then he opens a letter and it says, your task is to kill your wife. Oh, okay, well, that is an interesting to that. Yeah, I wonder whether it's maybe they're watching Taskmaster with their son, maybe the sun is watching. Oh, and the sun is watching. saying what a great replacement she'd be for up my late mother.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Get her. Yeah. Leave it to me because they're very get up and go the Americans. Yes, yes. That's true. That's true. And also, um, well, you're nicknamed being Mags.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Perhaps they're associated that with the Maga movement. Yeah. Yeah, maybe they yeah. But then if they're into Maga, then they're probably not into Tank Girl or whoever I am now. No. Well, it's, let's imagine that the MAGA movement
Starting point is 00:08:21 is more wide range than we might think. You'd be Anya Maga Leana. Whoa! Could rebrand. Oh my God, this is starting to... I can see how people go down this path. You can make a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Yeah. You should have to say mad things. Maybe it's worth a good pun. A good pun is kind of... Nothing wrong with a good pun. Maybe worth compromising my whole viewpoint. I think some people's careers are driven by puns primarily. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Well, yeah. certainly true I've had to give them up I had a major revelation about ponds because I love ponds and I think in ponds all the time so I normally I just let them out
Starting point is 00:09:00 but I realised in a conversation with a group of other comedians David Bedele Josh Whittickham and Sarah Barron that I think we arrived together at the idea that ponds are really impressive if you know they're spontaneous and they've just happened but if you've written them they're slightly disgusting you know you think you wrote that and then brought it to me you
Starting point is 00:09:30 insult me by thinking i would like it you sat at your desk a premeditated pun yeah yeah exactly in cold blood yeah no i think a pun in cold blood you need spontaneity in a pawn and then it's sort of it's quite it's like you know a magic trick yeah i think that's probably right. Why are you off the puns? Because people, I get sick of that. I had a thing, I did, we recorded I do a Radio 4 show, which you've both done actually,
Starting point is 00:10:00 called One Person Founds Helpful. And I did a pun on it last night. I kind of remember what it was, and the audience went and I just felt my blood boil. And I said, if you people was locked in a small room for two hours, you'd never come up with a joke anywhere,
Starting point is 00:10:17 the quality of that. And they applauded. They applauded for truth. Truth has arrived in our lives at last. They wanted some stern discipline. Yeah, it shows that what people really long for in 2025 is chastisement. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Yeah, there's a Puritan quality to the public. So here's the thing. I went, I would took part in a in a mind reading act. Oh. Oh, officially? Well, I was called upon stage. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:10:54 By a sort of... A mesmerist? Yeah. Yeah, obviously. A mesmerist. No, no, it's a violinist. I know why... Well, you've got to have a backup these days.
Starting point is 00:11:04 What was the other sort of outdated term that sort of sounds... A mentalist? That, yeah, that's just the word I was... Sounds basically, correct. It was a man and his wife, and she were a very... elegant blue gown with a matching blue um blindfold. I love it when women accessorized with a blindfold. Anyway, I was called up and the man said, uh, okay, um, I need you to think of a time on a digital clock. Okay. You know, like, uh, I'll tell you what I thought of.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I thought of 451. I'll be straight with you. Okay. And I don't actually believe in the mind reading thing. I don't think, but I sort of believe in everything, if you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:12:01 There's always a bit of doubt in me. So I got up there and I had to sit at a table and I had to write down this thing, he ding it with my hand. Yes. You know the old term, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 00:12:20 The old English. For concealment, yeah, exactly. He'd done sick. Exactly. The old children's game. Exactly. So I had my hand down. You know when you want a person sitting next to copy at school?
Starting point is 00:12:32 I wrote it down like that. So it was 451. And then the woman starts holding her forehead as if it's coming through. And she said, I want you to think, think, want you to visualize this number. on a digital clock and I thought to myself I can't believe now I thought
Starting point is 00:12:53 wouldn't it be a good prank to think of a different time that would mess her up I thought that had meck her look pretty stupid and then I thought no I can't do that that's just a bit cruel
Starting point is 00:13:12 to be thinking of a different time I was honestly rationally thinking this that it made any difference. So I went back to the 451 and she said it's 451 isn't it? And she said
Starting point is 00:13:27 in the morning I would say and I said I don't think we talked about a 24 hour. Yeah so I hadn't done 16 yeah right cool yeah it was and did she say and I heard about
Starting point is 00:13:43 your little prank Yeah, exactly. I don't ever try that again. That would have been terrified. I saw you thinking about that. The bloke had those, you know, those cards and they have like wavy line and a circle and a diamond. And then they test psychic powers.
Starting point is 00:14:00 You're shaking your head. I don't know about this. Well, he said, has anyone seen these cards before? And I was with my 13-year-old son. He said, yeah, in the first Ghostbusters, Dr. Peter Vankman uses them as a psychic, and get of a whole Ghostbusters-based section. And the guy said,
Starting point is 00:14:18 I've been doing this trick for, I don't think he said trick. He wouldn't think of it. I've been doing this live. I've been doing this very real thing for five years and no one has ever said that. I was so proud. Yeah, that is great.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Good to bring Ghostbusters into everyday life at every opportunity, I think. What do the cards do? So I would, you would hold the card. and look at the symbol. Oh. Or I would hold the card and look at the symbol
Starting point is 00:14:47 if I was testing you for your psychic powers. This was in a book I read last night. You what? Yeah. Oh my God, the medium is with us. Yeah. And in my house. It would have been better if you'd read it tonight, wouldn't it?
Starting point is 00:15:01 Yeah. But even... Should we do a retake? But even... Can we do that again, Clive? I read it tonight. Yeah, really? Not I read it tonight.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Well, that won't work. I will read that tonight. I'll Google it. What's the book about? The book, so I bought a book, this is the first time I've done this, to try and engage with the, like, seasons. I bought a sort of spooky book
Starting point is 00:15:26 to read in time for Halloween. That's good, yeah. Called The Haunting of Hill House. Yes. Oh, yeah. Have you heard it? I was recommended it by Ed Knight. Big film as well.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Yes. So, and they just mentioned those cards in probably the page I folded down over last year. Oh, you're down to that. folding den, I hate that I hate book abuse of any kind You're using my wooden spoon as a bookmark Yeah but that won't
Starting point is 00:15:50 Hirm the arm I'm doing multiple choice verbs It won't I Horm the book It won't be Harm the book You've been spending too much time in Norway Frank
Starting point is 00:16:05 I have I gotta get the hell out of there Ghost Busters Do you know how they would have done the trick to know what time you were thinking. Yeah. Have you reversed engineered it? Well, unfortunately, we did
Starting point is 00:16:20 in the car on the way back. Me and my wife were talking about how it might have been done. And Boz said, never, ever did this to me again. When I go to a magic show, I just want magic tricks. I don't want two grown-ups sitting. Oh, maybe there was a camera.
Starting point is 00:16:38 He said, you've really spoiled it. Oh, God. I felt terrible about it That's great Never do this to me again But that was a valuable lesson Is that the moment The loss of innocence
Starting point is 00:16:53 Well I think it was a very good point That is not I don't like that You know you know people who make films Now I live in a world where I know people who make films And they'll say Oh yeah what they've done there Is that CGI and I don't want to know any of that
Starting point is 00:17:12 I think it's one of my worst qualities. My dad did that, to me growing up, he'd always point out stuff. And now I kind of have a compulsion to like, if I'm at a show or something and I see like, oh, there's a thing in the rafters of like, oh, look, something's going to come down in the second. And it's so for my own ego. Like, it's so not for the other person at all. It's to be like, look, I'm not like the other audience members.
Starting point is 00:17:35 I am the noticer. Yeah. No, but isn't it saying, I'm in the business? Yeah. I need to stop doing it, but it's just, my dad did it all the time growing up. There was a woman, I probably shouldn't say a name, but it won't make any difference. Her first name was Polly, let's put it this way. And she was, I think she was a troubled member of the local community.
Starting point is 00:17:56 And she used to go to the regent cinema when we went as kids. And if someone went into a room where there was a guy waiting with a gun, and she'd go, oh, don't go in there. What are you going in there for? Look, it was, it was, I mean, we laughed, but obviously, it completely ruined a film. Oh, look, no, obviously you're going to get shot. It was all that stuff. That's exactly what I think when I'm watching.
Starting point is 00:18:22 I'm on Polly's, I'm Team Polly, me and Polly would watch the film together and have an amazing time. She was quite bogey, actually. I really did not think we were going to return to that. Oh, I love a callback. Me. How would it more time with the
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Starting point is 00:19:11 Dein Reve appell service. Online bestell, in market, upholding. Have we had any messages from the outside world or Alfresco Monde? Lou Tremere.
Starting point is 00:19:25 We had some theories about, you had a mystery song last week. Well, what I've recently, songs have started coming into, the two things have happened to me song-wise. One is, they've started.
Starting point is 00:19:39 coming into my head and I don't know what the song is. Yes. But chunks where I know quite a lot of the lyrics. But the other thing I'm having is that my filter is broken on singing. So I've started singing in the street and stuff I've noticed. Really? Yeah, but I have... In the rain.
Starting point is 00:19:57 I've suddenly, someone's looked at me and I thought, surely I haven't been recognized. And then I thought, oh God, I'm singing. I'm actually... And it's, yeah, my... It's not good. I sing on the Overground and stuff like that
Starting point is 00:20:14 You're going to be Polly soon I don't mean like I don't mean like I don't mean like arm stretched It's a broad Way Melo
Starting point is 00:20:23 I don't mean that Oh you meant Polly I thought you meant like Pollyamorous Oh no You think like that's how it starts You get into musical theatre And naturally I don't think anyone
Starting point is 00:20:32 Ever got polyamorous Not with Polly You start with show tunes in public can you end up in a warehouse with a seven wives and three husbands? No, no. I don't know what that means. No, so you thought I meant you were becoming polyamorous. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:20:49 No, I'm not polyamorous. I'm very monogamous. Thank good we got to the bottom of that. I'm picturing you with tap shoes sort of doing sideways jumps over workmen as they carry things. I wish. You know, when I watch Strictly come dancing, I still think, and I've never ever been able to dance. And I still think, who knows, two hours in a studio, and it might. might just click.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Would you do it? Speaking as your agent. I don't think I would, I don't think I'd do it. I think I'd be, I'd be, you know, they have like an older man on for humiliation purpose. My thought is always to always be dressed as a giant grouse dancing to George Ezra's shotgun.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Yeah. With the woman, a sexy lady, but in tweeds. Yes. You know, and stuff like that. As if I was being pursued. Yeah, and a cane, either shaped like a shotgun or like a walking cane. Well, they'd probably have a shotgun that fired confetti or something like that. Right at the end.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Oh, God, that sounds really good. It's good. You should do that just for a special edition of this podcast. But you know, like, I don't know if you're a strictly fan, but it's show three at the moment. So there's still people who are terrible on it. And that's what I'd be. There's what I, we call in our house, dancing around the tree.
Starting point is 00:22:06 so there's usually a male celebrity who could barely move and a professional dancer really overcompensated and absolutely like jitterbogging around it as if they've got inside and you think oh look he can't do you think we're not going to notice that he can't dance you know if I'm noticing the judges will certainly notice well the mysterious song where you couldn't figure out what fragment it was
Starting point is 00:22:35 our own Ian Engel as a theory Frank don't worry well he says it with back referencing to your lost parcel last week Frank don't worry your parcel will turn up some time same shit different day oh I've never heard that saying before
Starting point is 00:22:49 have you not no it's good it's a classic you should work it into your usual rotation same shit different day now I'll still with my old black country ones look if we die one thing it's somewhere else very different vibe Ian claims your introduction song was telephone line by ELO. Does that ring true?
Starting point is 00:23:09 Hello, Mr. Oh no, it wasn't Mr. Hello, how are you? Have you been all right? Oh, yes, it could be that. Didn't I say it could be ELO? It was put to you, it was put to you by Emily D.E.L. That popular Yorkshire greeting. That's good.
Starting point is 00:23:29 See, that was a pond spontaneous. Yeah, and it was magical. If I'd have turned up with that. Well, we don't know that you didn't. No, that's true. But how would I have known that was going to come? Yeah. Unless I'd planted an E. L.O. song, like, fuck, could that be allowed?
Starting point is 00:23:46 Never do this to me again, Frank. Don't discuss how you might have faked an improvisation. I never want to know. Another, well, another song query, actually, about a different opening song from Rain. with a knee at the end. Hi, Frank and team, long-term reader, first-time writer. It is driving me nuts trying to work out the words to Frank's lovely intro song. Some lyrics queries.
Starting point is 00:24:13 It sounds to me like, from South Africa came, they're all here on rugged terrain, close brackets today. I don't think it's that. It's not. It says, I'm sure it isn't that. What the heck is it? Huge amounts of praise redacted. Yeah, it's from, yeah, I don't know. They're all here, so be happy hooray, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:24:33 I don't, is that what it is? Open brackets, hooray. There's open brackets, hooray, that's right. They're all here, open brackets, hooray. Oh, that's, yeah, very clever. Of course no one's going to be able to figure that out. Close brackets today. I trust my audience.
Starting point is 00:24:47 I don't hold them in contempt. That's the sort of Bruce Forsyth, approach. Bruce Forsy would say. So I was in the kitchen the other day. So I was in the kitchen. The other day I was in the kitchen. and I think he's thinking eventually I'll get through these impenetrable oaths if I keep repeating it over and over like this
Starting point is 00:25:11 but I trust them and that's why I get that's why I have to have arguments with them I think I've remembered what that there was a review of a Taylor Swift album that said this is for teenagers who are in their 30s And you have to guess what it was and I said it was chronology for dummies The book
Starting point is 00:25:36 It got nothing At all It's a bit like If you look at Mags now Someone like I'd suddenly switch to Cantonese Mid Podca Anyway I'm going to keep aiming high
Starting point is 00:25:51 And you know We'll see how it goes Absolutely Well you're also fortunate to be in a position where You can aim high and then if it doesn't work You can say to the audience no think again and they'll go actually yes
Starting point is 00:26:01 we've reviewed your application we've decided to approve it anyway so so that's that's it for me an angle yes lyrics qualify well rain rain was the one who wanted the lyrics clarifies oh yes okay sorry I'm I go before my horse
Starting point is 00:26:19 to mark it Graham has a not quite a correctione but see what you think of this hi everyone I left a comment on last week's show but I'm not sure which ones you read out
Starting point is 00:26:33 I think maybe he's talking about Instagram or something I'm not really sure which... Or maybe Spotify they have comments on Spotify now horrible youth correspondent The modern world comes in like a ray of sunlight through a stained glass window like Frank Graham says I come from
Starting point is 00:26:53 the black country and in reference to what's for dinner Emily said she would eat last night's canopays Yes. To which Frank said he'd never had any. Well, I beg to differ, as everyone from the black country has at at least one canapes.
Starting point is 00:27:05 It's very fine. Oh. Even Max got it eventually. On the delay. On the Zoom delay. Canapes. I walked past an angler once in the black country. I know I was fishing with my brother, and he came past.
Starting point is 00:27:21 He said, caught any fish? As in, have you caught anything? All right. And I said, yeah, well, I said, yeah, we've had a few, he said, oh, you'll cot you mean. He said, I've gotched him on pays. Meaning that he'd put peas on the hook and still caught fish. Fisher would come up for peas.
Starting point is 00:27:42 They were so keen to be caught. Off caught them on pays. It's a different world. He had the opposite approach to fish as Bruce Forsyth would have. Unelitist, seeing them as enthusiastic. participants. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, I wish I've...
Starting point is 00:28:01 I've got a bit of the Bruce in me, but I, you know, I still dream. I still dream of a show where people get everything. This is why I pray. Every reference he gets. Every reference. I don't have to explain any.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Do you, him? No, God. Oh. Every reference. Brilliant. Yeah, if you're omnipotent. getting mistaken for God once again. Yes, and your son.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Peter's got that big beardy God thing going on, but he's more Norse, I would say. God of a very specific area. There were some weirdly specific ones. Yeah, but the Norse gods, their gods have sort of started like mischief. There's some debate whether Loki's a god, actually. He might, yeah, he's a child of a god and a giant, I think.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah, I think he's an ice giant of one of those guys. Yeah. I hate them. Sterquillinous, sort of ancient Roman. Sorry, I thought, I thought you were sneezing. Just clearing my throat, yeah. Stoquillinus, who is that? Sturquillinus. The god of manure and also fertility, sort of.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Oh. I can see that connection. Ancient Roman, it makes sense, you know, spring. Yeah. You get some very specific ones. When I said I can see the connection between fertility and manure, I meant putting it on the garden. It wasn't a bedroom, right.
Starting point is 00:29:28 It's not... The lady doesn't protest too much. It's not some sort of angle of triangle of persuasion. You're the man himself. Consider ye. Is it quintilius? Sturquillinous. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:43 That sounds like when my cat stands on the keyboard and just presses loads of keys. Oh yeah. Type stickwilinus. How is it spelt? Stirk willness. I think podcasts that do spelling are on the way out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Do not tell me. I don't want to know. I'll tell you after. Just imagine. We haven't really had any incidents from your life other than Taskmaster. And I like to know what you've been up to, Max. Well, I've got myself into a bit. My life is being really ruined by one quite constant problem that I've got,
Starting point is 00:30:17 which is when I was in Edinburgh, we were living next to waitrose. And that was really luxurious. And I got, I would get the sort of ready meals. that were on discount and I got a sort of monkfish ready meal one day and I think the flap was loose and so monkfish spilled all over my bag
Starting point is 00:30:38 so then for the whole of Edinburgh my bag smelt like monkfish and I was trying to figure out to clean it, wipe it and then I googled it and it said use vinegar to get rid of the smell but I didn't know that there's a specific type of cleaning vinegar so I used
Starting point is 00:30:56 white white vinegar I used malt vinegar And now my bag smells of fish and chips And it really is making And it's, this has been I mean, what month are we in now, October? I still can't, this was in an office And I still can't get rid of the smell
Starting point is 00:31:11 And all my stuff is smelling of fish and chips Which isn't the worst But I don't want to have the vibe of like A deep fat, fry a person My mom worked in a fish and chip shop Really? And she never shrugged it I mean, even like when she hadn't been there that day,
Starting point is 00:31:31 it was in her hair, all that kind of stuff. But of course, she just made us hungry all the time. Morning, mum. Oh, I love ice fishing. She on a Friday. She was mobile marketing. I don't know why it was Friday, yeah. But she used to bring home like a big bag with like eight fish
Starting point is 00:31:52 and like the biggest part of the chips you've ever seen and cod row and all sorts of stuff. great fish and chips is just so nice it's not a smell you aren't following because it's marketing is it smell well people avoid it don't know people say you can't have fish and chips in my car because I'll never get the smell out but you've actually created it yeah and you say the bag smelt like monkfish which I think is a very funny specific yeah not fish monk fish which I didn't even know what that smelled like beforehand it's a fact I'd love you'd know that someone had led a good life if they
Starting point is 00:32:23 went gosh things of monk fish in here not fish no no no god no No wonder the cats playing the keyboard. Smell of mumfish in the house. It must be like I said, Andrew Lloyd, where about work, concentrate on my work and I forget my problems. Yeah, and I don't know whether to get a new bag now, because I just bought this bag as well. I bought it for Edinburgh, have a nice rucksack to be able to carry all my notes and stuff around it. And now it smells so bad. And also, and this is it, maybe this is a sort of a subplot.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I did a wrestling show. last week, the comedian's wrestling show. Did you wrestle? I did. They trained for months. Yeah. Big deal. I didn't because I wasn't asked initially,
Starting point is 00:33:07 but I was replacing someone. That's the thing that Taskmaster has done to my career. As soon as someone drops out, I'm first on the road. Look at me here today. Yeah, that's true. That is true. We were doing that before Tasmasker. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:33:23 You shone your light upon me much earlier than the general public. But I had to When a noise is coming from an empty shop I go straight in and investigate But then I am So I was borrowing one of the wrestlers' outfits to wear Oh that must have been clammy
Starting point is 00:33:42 No it was it was a it was a like a Almost more like a body suit Female wrestler So like sort of top and Tops and tights And I put it when we were training I took it off her and put it in my bag and then on the day
Starting point is 00:34:00 took it out of my bag in front of her and then I smelled it to be like oh my God I've made it smell but then she saw me smelling it so she thinks I'm smelling her clothes or and either in a judgmental way or in a perverted way so then I had to say sorry my bag is filled with monkfish
Starting point is 00:34:19 can I wash this to you and get it back in my own time so I guess I'm just asking for if anyone knows how to get rid of that smell. How did it go in the ring? It was. I felt so alive. It was so electric. I got spun around
Starting point is 00:34:37 by a big man. Something to be said for that. Sometimes life's pleasures are really that simple. And I got such a big cheer that it was almost sad because I thought, well, I'm never going to get anything like that for comedy. No, I know what you mean. Have you ever had a reaction for something where
Starting point is 00:34:55 it's out of your wheelhouse and you go, oh, The ceiling for that is so much. I'm never going to get a laugh that big. Like, the crowd just were... It's like when you drop your tray in the school dinner hall. I mean, applause, you're really full-throated cheering. And I guess you're kind of chasing that for the rest of your life. I think you probably are.
Starting point is 00:35:16 But it's not... So did you win? I didn't win. I was in the tag team tornado, which was nine different teams all coming in at different points. And I got splattered by a man called. called Big Damo, who's very big. I used to watch a lot of wrestling before it became popular, which is true of most of my fans.
Starting point is 00:35:37 And there was lots of women. There was Miss Cleopatra, always introduced as Miss Cleopatra all the way from Egypt. Sure. And she had that. That's very foresight. And then he'd say stuff like, you just behave yourself, Cleopatra.
Starting point is 00:35:52 And she'd say, well, he at me first. Don't you go blaming me? And I thought, yes, this is, which part of the Nile? Southwest Egypt. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. I saw so many. I think I mentioned on this show before, Black Widow, who was a baddie.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Oh. Who used to come on and give the audience a V sign, which began with, as she brought the V sign up, her fingers touched the canvas. It started that low. And then went high, high, the most elaborate. fuck off any audience has ever been given. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Yeah, she was a terrifying looking individual. I did a move called The Black Widow. I wonder if it was sort of from her. What did you eat your husband? Yeah. Yeah, it went down quite bad. Did you hide in an Australian toilet? What is the Black Widow move?
Starting point is 00:36:49 What I did was called a Tiltowulfus into a Black Widow, which is I like kind of ran out. to a guy kind of got spun around on top of him, his shoulders, and then got him in the lock, a submission move, pulling his arm back and having my legs, like, clenching his neck. Wow. It was electrifying. It sounds great.
Starting point is 00:37:12 I think it's better than comedy. Oh, come on. You know, I'm too old to wrestle. You can be the Vince McMahon figure, the sort of sinister owner. You know, my bones are like aeros. If I tried something like, I'd just, there'd be dust coming out of my orifices. Oh, no. But, yeah, it's, it was a celebrity boxing thing going on at one time.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Oh, yeah. Long time. It was Ricky Javees boxed something. I think he did. Really? Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Who would you most like to see box from the celebrity world? Thanks going to. Alan Carr. At Bankskinner. Alan Carr. Alan Carr. I'd like to see the rage that's in there come out. Do you think there's an element of like,
Starting point is 00:38:00 these are people who probably weren't very sporty at school. Because that's what I wasn't very sporty at school, so I feel like I get a special thrill from doing it. Maybe that's what's going on. Some justice. Some justice. Do people hold up handwritten signs as they do at modern day wrestling? No.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Okay. What do they do? Like the big slogans from the catchphrases from the characters. No, they had the big hand. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, the big fan. The big foam hand. The big foam hand was an appearance.
Starting point is 00:38:30 It's a big crowd. It's 3,000 people, I think. Yeah, it was at the Apollo, and it was sold out. Wow. And it was massive, yeah. And professional wresters doing it as well. A mixture. But it was really fun.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Oh, I'd look dangerous. Yeah, and three people did get injured. Yeah. And it was dangerous. Yeah. You could do it out, Pia. I just get some sort of insane injury. I know my own luck.
Starting point is 00:38:53 I'm one of the people who gets injured at things every time Yeah I saw a bloke Well I saw one wrestler An old lady I say old lady At looking back she was probably 40 But she was an old lady went out
Starting point is 00:39:09 And also you know In those days in the West Midlands If you were 40 you looked 80 And she A wrestler landing on the floor And she got up really quickly For an old lady And put a cigarette out on his back
Starting point is 00:39:22 Oh that's great The performance of it is so fun. Yeah. It's good you see that as fun. He means for real, by the way. What do you mean? Oh, what? It wasn't...
Starting point is 00:39:31 No, I mean she actually put a cigarette out. She got it from the crowd. Oh, I thought... No, she wasn't in on it. Because I didn't even know until I did this that wrestling was, like, choreographed. Oh, shh. Here we are again in the car.
Starting point is 00:39:47 I'm talking about the mind reading. We've got to go now. I can't cope with this. Sorry. Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalonuk.com.

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