The Frank Skinner Show - Purple Sheets

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

Frank has been in a pop video this week and there's been an email about Through The Keyhole. Keep your correspondence coming to [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TD Direct Investing offers live support. So whether you're a newbie or a seasoned pro, you can make your investing steps count. And if you're like me and think a TFSA stands for Total Fund Savings Adventure, maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. It's Fred off the radio featuring him and that posh lady, oh, and the one with the french name

from south africa came they're all here open brackets array close brackets today citizens this is frank off the radio i'm joined by emily dean and pierre novelli follow the podcast on x and Instagram. You can email Instagram Parsons. You can, Graham Parsons was like a country rock guy. Have you not heard of him? Oh Instagram Parsons. Doesn't make it, it's weird. His friends stole him and tried to cremate him at Joshua Tree. Anyway you can email the podcast via frankofftheradioavalanuk.com you can WhatsApp us! WhatsApp us! WhatsApp us! Didn't he write the second Teutonic War. When WhatsAppus goes to bed all of his friends go to bed. What? What?

What? What? Is it a verb? WhatsAppus? I never knew it was a verb. That is, Bagpus is great great great grandchild. You can watch Bagpus on, but Emily loved him. Oh do you know she did. You can WhatsApp... I've got to say this. I've actually got a bagpuss. I've heard that. You can WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769. 07457 417 769. Hey, careful. What? I just didn't like the way that impression was going but it ended in a place I... No, it was fine. It was London Policeman from a 1950s black and white movie. No, I like the way you read out all the... I mean it's not like most influencers, which I like. Instagram Wayan Parsons.

But who do I influence? You influence me, Frank. The elderly As I've told you many times. Only the elderly. You can get very rich influencing the elderly. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to do a tour that's quite, you know, quite risky and stuff. But I just gonna do old people's homes I'm gonna call it elderly edge after the area I just write that down yeah getting quit before Benny Alton steals it I can't think of any other old comics. They're still going? They've all quit. Have they? They should never have gone to see me.

They've left there and just thought, I have nothing to offer. Do you think that's why Elton's still going? Because he was always two venues ahead of us. Who? Ben Elton? Ben Elton, still touring, still writing the stuff, god bless him. David Baddiel took me to see him a few years back and I can't believe how hench he was because he does all the workouts now. It's because you moved to Australia.

Oh yeah, they don't tolerate anything. You're a bit flabby, mate. Even for an author. They don't even say it that nice to go, jeez, what happened to you? Look at the rig on you, mate. I heard two Australians on the bus saying, I don't know, the British, a lot of them can't swim. That's a South African observation as well. Is it?

Half the country can't swim here. Okay. They're very direct though. I remember a gay friend of my mother's and he woke up and he saw this man, Rodney's no longer with us sadly, so he won't mind me telling this story. But he woke up and he saw this man, Rodney's no longer with us sadly, so he won't mind telling this story, but he woke up and he said it was awful, I woke up Christmas day and I turned around to this guy and I went Jesus, you're hideous! I thought that was nice. Oh no, no need for that.

The directness of both a catty gay man and an Australian combined together. Like a laser anyway go on prank so last week I recorded a pop video all right did you yeah what you on that I say pop I'm it officially an emo power pop I thought it would be more of a sort of no offense but is this the way to amaryllo type no certainly not it was a sort of a dystopian emo power pop I mean you know if you're gonna make a dystopian emo power pop video who you gonna call it well yeah thanks you're gonna start with the guy one of the guys who brought you three lions and move further down the football charts from there. Well there's a bit of that in it.

There's a few like raggedy Crosser St George flags. And who, are we allowed to say who it's for? I don't know if I am allowed to say who it's for. Maybe we won't. I've got some suspicions. Oh well, it's not to give you wonder if that was a hint. No. Oh that was a hint. No. Oh, that was superstition.

Same thing. No, what it is, is it's a bit like, have you ever seen Stanley Spencer's The Resurrection Comma Cookham? No. resurrection, comma, Cookeham. It's about the resurrection. Cookeham is an instruction to attendant demons. It's set in Cookeham, which I think is, is it Berkshire? Yes. And there are Ulrica Johnson famously. It's a fantastic painting. And it's like, if the resurrection happened in Cookeham, there's people climbing out the graves and stuff like that. And it's brilliant. And it's like if the resurrection happened in Cochamore, there's people climbing out the graves and stuff like that.

And it's brilliant. And it was sort of like that, except it was Armageddon, Eccles. So I was in Eccles. Do you know Eccles in Manchester? Yes, I've heard of it. I'm a big fan of the cakes. Yeah. I'm not. Well it's

put it this way, when I first got it's profoundly working-class. And you know when an exotic bird escapes from its cage apparently and goes into the garden, the sparrows and the starlings will tear it apart because it's different and brightly coloured. Sorry, are you the exotic bird? I'm the exotic bird. Wow, okay. But in fact everyone was lovely. I think my teeth are a great leveller. They are actually. I think people see my teeth and think he's all right, Frank.

Do you know your teeth make you very portable? Is that right? I don't know what that means. Well it means what you think it means. You're portable, you can be taken into different scenarios. Yes. And you're easy to carry into different scenarios. Well I don't work very well in modern showbiz where most people can read by the light of their own mouths. Well in America as well, Frank. Well I don't go to America. Obviously, I go to Eccles. Eccles.

Yeah. So we went, our base was in this, what we used to call a greasy spoon cafe. So the runner came up to me, what with me being a big star, and said, you don't have to eat at the cafe, we can send out for something for you. So I sent out for fish and chips and curry sauce, which I'm going to tell you now, was the best fish and chips I've ever had in my life. Really? Was it?

It was really. Eccles Fish and Chips. I don't know what the shop was. It was absolutely life. Really? It was really Eccles, Fish and Chips. I don't know what the shot was. It was absolutely outstanding. Really? And I'm no foodie, as you know. No. In fact, I've recently become obsessed with a television series called Severance. Oh yes, David Baddiel's obsessed with that. And it's, oh man, I've, it blows me away. Is it good? I need to watch it. It's Adam Thingy from Parks and Rec. I've never seen Parks and Rec.

He doesn't know things like that. No, but you know Severance. Yeah, and there's a bit in Severance, I mean obviously there's many, many remarkable things happen in Severance, but one thing which you might not think is that remarkable really appealed to me and that was he went for dinner at a place where there was no dinner. So the people just sat round the table with placemats and talked. Yes, I'd love that. And I'd love that.

Would you? Oh god yeah, I always sit at the meal, it's an incomber. Well you were saying to me earlier, we were discussing we're quite both early eaters these days. Yeah. And I started to embrace this. My parents would be horrified because they were strictly 8 p.m. 8?

Yeah, they just thought anything before that was a bit... That's very un-English. I eat at 5. No, it's very mid... It's a certain... I don't... I have lunch at midday and dinner at five, that's my thing. It's basically Ford factory workers hours and I respect that. What we used to do, we would have

breakfast and then we would have dinner at midday. We called it, so we didn't have lunch as a word. Then at five o'clock we had tea, and at about ten o'clock we had supper. What was ten o'clock? Supper? You know, sandwiches or something. You ate sandwiches at ten o'clock at night? Yeah. That's the traditional understanding of supper as a word. Oh no, we had supper at like eight p.m.

Would depend. But what's the difference between supper and dinner in your mind? In your mind. In your mind. I would say dinner was more of my parents had friends around. So it was dinner party. Yeah. We used dinner really if we were entertaining. Oh. What about when you were entertaining? Would you have a different word for it? I'm always entertaining. Watch what you're saying.

But if you were entertaining at home? We didn't entertain. Mrs Weston used to come round from next door and sit for an hour. We didn't entertain her. She was the one who came in putting an alarm clock on the kitchen table, which was filled halfway up the face with urine and she said Ernie's dropped this in the bucket can you do anything about that? I said get it off the table! To be fair we would have had that if Sarah Miles came round. Well she'd have brought that round as a hip flask. I'm just saying it transcended Frank, all the tosses this issue. Anyway in the video I'm basically playing me if the comedy hadn't worked out.

I love this concept. Yeah, so I'm that sort of chirpy bloke who doesn't really work, who you see knocking around, no one really knows who he is, and he sort of chats to everybody. But the world is ending. So I'm literally walking up the road going hey how you doing? And there's like jets flying overhead prepared.

That sounds good. Yeah it's good. It's a very good band. I hate to sound trivial but what are you wearing? Well I'm wearing a sort of a jacket which is like a car key I've obviously got from an army and naven store but I've worked it up a bit. Ant and deck? So now very very on Ant and deck. Okay. Very sort of ragged, like I've been wearing it for... Oh I see. I told you when I grew up we didn't used to say you know the bloke with the curly, we'd say you know him, wears a tan leather jacket because we wore the same stuff for 20 years and that's what this feels like,

something I've worn for 20 years. Any badges? Oh yeah, badges. Yeah, yeah, I see. There's a Princess Diana badge that just says Inside Job on it. And a badge with the band's name on it. Okay. I like the sound of this video. It sounds very good. I mean, I love a dystopia.

Well obviously it's interesting for me because where I was living wasn't very different from Eccles and I was in a bed seat and I you know I was having loose sherry for breakfast and and shopping at Oxfam and yeah it does it's a bit weird it does feel I always felt I remember when I started comedy saying to someone I've always got alcoholism to fall back on because I tried you know drinking on waste ground and stuff. It's fine. I quite liked it. Right. I liked feeling that I was a bit, you know, a bit of a romantic anti-hero. Okay. How does that make you feel Frank, when you think about it? Well, when I drive on

the bus or something and I go past the place and there's eight guys sitting around the war memorial drinking. I always think, looks all right. Oh God, no, please. I wouldn't mind that. You see it as like there but for the grace of God, but without the kind of sadness to it. Just, no, I can do that. I can pick that up.

Yeah, exactly. Like a guitar. I'm getting a bit old for it. Yeah, but you always stick your guitar up but it hurts your fingers at first. Yeah. Yeah. No I think I'd still be you know, I could still hold a crowd. On wasted ground. Even if some of them were semi-conscious. Oh God Frank. A theatre of blood. Oh, there's a scene where I'm next to a bin on fire. Nice, yeah. I mean, you've got to have a bin on fire in a dystopian video.

And it reminded me of when our Keith was on the news. Oh, it's very minor strike, the wind fire. Keith was, he worked at Longbridge, which is a massive car factory, and he was striking, and he was literally warm in his hand. This is the most traditional sever. Warm in his hands on a flaming brazier. There was a feminist protest going on at the same time. A brazier was like a metal drum they used to fill.

And they had like a donkey jacket, like that Navy or black donkey jacket. I remember him saying, the thing is the management, they have no interest in the workers. I remember him saying that as he warmed his hands. We were very excited. Were you proud when he was on telly? My dad was less proud because he was a working-class Tory and didn't really. I'll tell you he used to say of the Labour Party, why he didn't vote Labour, if you put a beggar on horseback you'll ride into hell. You've done alright. That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Conservatives. I would be so fascinated to see the response if that was the main slogan on all the leaflets. That and the tree, that's it. I love that. Imagine if that just comes

through your door. Interesting direction they've gone in this year. Horseback! But then I love your mother, which something I would describe as one of the greatest feminist acts was when she got her own back on the voting. Oh yeah, because she voted Labour. I love her. They agreed as it was not good weather, it wasn't worth them voting. Cancel each other out. Yeah, they cancelled each other out. So at nine o'clock on the telly, it's announced that they'd closed the polling stations and she said, I voted.

Did I say I fell in love with her at that point? I know, but one vote's never going to swing, is it? It's not the point, Frank. It's not Al Gore. It's not the point. Well, he was your friend of yours. Yes. Very strange voice. Who, Al Gore? Yeah. That's Frank's friend, they got on really well.

I know. I interviewed Al Gore though and I thought this bloke really knows about climate and stuff and he came in. It was raining. He said, I said, yeah, it's, you know, rains a lot in London. He said, yeah, but that's climate change causing. I said, no, no, it really isn't. It's rained in London forever. No, no, if you

look at, oh, if you're going to be like that, get out. It was nice. I liked him. We won an award. Anyway, and I also got to say in situ, flaming Nora, when I was up in Eccles, because that's what they say up there. Oh, you had dialogue? No, I didn't have any dialogue. Oh, you're just trying to ingratiate yourself with the locals. Yeah, exactly. As they gathered around you with spears.

No, they were nice, the locals. Okay, good. They didn't tear you apart like an exotic person. They didn't tear me apart. I wasn't disguised, I was in costume though. I was dressed as a local, which helped. Cultural appropriation, I hear you say. Oh, damn.

Like Lawrence of Arabia, Frank of Eccles. Exactly. That's a bit what it was like. But you said the revolutions are always led by the middle classes, as they always say. Yes, it's true. This episode is sponsored by Shopify. Do you ever feel like you're missing out because it seems like everyone is either starting a side hustle or becoming their own boss and you know what they're hearing a lot? It's the sound of another sale on Shopify, the all-in-one commerce platform to start, run and grow your business.

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Go to shopify.co.uk slash frank to take your business to the next level today. shopify.co.uk slash frank. Frank, may I share a communique with you? We received an email in the week, I believe it's from Matt Riley. Last week I happened across an old episode of Through the Keyhole with Sir David Frost in the chair and Lloyd Grossman giving the clues. The panel were Katie Boyle, Willie Rushton and a very young Carol Vorderman. Wow. The part. Can I say Katie Boyle was, she was sort of known as the best looking woman on television.

I don't know if she was. I'll tell you what she was. She advertised a lot of beauty products. Katie Boyle was also, she became a very, the sort of glamorous matriarchal figure as well because she would wear huge taffeta dresses and things. She presented the Eurovision Song Contest, very big ice cream hair. Oh, speaking of ice cream, Willie Rushton had that greatest of all acolytes. He was the center square on celebrity squares in his day. And he was asked by Bob Monkhouse, was it true or false that ice cream was invented

in Israel? And Willie Rochston said, I'm pretty sure it's true, but I can't remember whether it was lions of Judah or walls of Jericho. And at the time I remember thinking sure it's true, but I can't remember whether it was lions of Judah or walls of Jericho. And at the time I remember thinking, that's apt to come up with that so quickly. But of course now as I've gone into television and out the other end, a bit like that bird that flew through the mead hall in that story. No one knows where it came from or where it went. But it had its moment of brightness and warmth. Anyway, I realised that... For the passport to be up the meat hall would have to be collapsing as well.

Yeah. I realised it was all set up, probably. But it made me laugh. Wished it by seven people. Anyway. My favourite centre square one was on the American one, which I thought was called Hollywood Square. Correct. And they used to have a

gay man who sat in the centre square who was never acknowledged as gay because this was like the 50s. And his question was, can chimpanzees kiss? And he said, yes, very well. I love that man. Anyway, Matt continues, the part I caught was a tour of Screaming Lord Such's home. And he mentioned in the post reveal interview, you know, they do that, they come into the studio, well, you're welcome. And then the person says that he was a great friend of David Bedeals. I was surprised as this must have been filmed in the 80s and struggled to see how their celebrity had crossed paths. Was Frank also a big friend of the self-appointed loony Lord Sarge? This is from Matt Riley. I was so baffled and intrigued by this I decided to go back and watch this episode myself. A couple of things I discovered people made no

effort with their houses when film crews were coming around in those days even if their whole home was being filmed these celebrity houses Mary Peters was was one of them. Lord Sarge they just, and Lord Sarge, they just had like pictures propped up against an old peeling radiator they hadn't even hung and then there were close-ups of the toilet with like dusty pipes they hadn't even cleaned you know, tea cups in the sink. The complete opposite of zoom background paranoia. They just didn't bother. I don't think there was this fetish, you know, there was no interiors fetish then. So, homes were just as they were. Anyway, I enjoyed that. But what, we went

into Screaming Lord Soch's home, which was lovely. Again, I've got to say, his home stood up better than anyone else's. Was it not ghoulish in any way? No, it was really lovely sort of 1930s, you know, Art Deco art. A lot of, I mean a few depressing things like an Elvis calendar pinned onto a nail, a few things like that. When I saw him live he was carried on in a white coffin by six topless women. I was, I think I was 15, I'd gone down to Wembley to see this thing. And when I got back home, my dad was reading the Sunday paper and he had a picture of these women carrying on loads.

So he knew I was there. And I saw it in the paper and I thought, oh God, now dad knows I've seen nipples. And he looked at me and he looked at the picture and I thought oh no he's going to be sad. Still it's good to have these adventures. But the other thing I remember, so it's all very jolly, he did a song called Hands of the Ripper which was probably his biggest hit. And then at the end in his sort of chat with the audience he said yes I wish Jack the Ripper was alive today and got a massive cheer from the crowd. I hope he meant so that he could be brought to a proper justice. As opposed to so he could enjoy these topless women with me.

Yeah exactly. So anyway that that's Lord Sartre, to give you a bit of context. That's Lord Sartre. Lovely, clean house. Well, they debated who it was. They noticed purple sheets, I think. Purple sheets, purple sheets. And Willie Rushdon says,

well, that would seem to suggest they have papal ambitions, which would, and then he said, which would rule out a woman, of course. And then he got a bit serious, and he went, because in my lifetime there will never be a female pope. Oh right. And I thought, this is weird for an ITV, like that. And then Katie Boyle went, well I sincerely hope not.

What? It was so odd. See my worry is that if you had purple sheets, is you'd get into bed and find yourself on top of Barney the Dinosaur. Oh like that'd be a bad thing. Well. Come on.

You know I like a warning. Anyway, I've got to the bottom of the mystery. I watched this through to the end. I enjoyed the excruciating moment where David Frost said to Willie Rushton, go on, do your Lloyd Grossman impression. Oh no. And Willie Rushton, he didn't cooperate, he went, no, no, no, I'm not doing that. It was so weird.

And then David Frost went, no, no, go on, do it, do it. And Willie Rushton went, no, I've told you, it really hurts my voice. How do you think Lloyd Grossman copes? It's all the pasta sauce. Soothed by that chili sauce. I must admit I'm a big fan of the Light Grossman sauce. Where's Rochden's sauce? Nowhere. It's so weird the idea that you'd go on a show and someone say I'll go on do that thing and you just refuse. No but often they love, they're waiting aren't they, the impression. He refused. David Foster's quite angry. Yeah, what would Keir Starmer have to say about this? That kind of leading... I don't know.

What if Arnold Schwarzenegger ran the shop? Yeah, exactly. That kind of thing. Anyway, I've discovered, of course it wasn't David Baddiel, because poor David Baddiel would have been, you know, barely at Cambridge. With some Robert Smith cure hairdo at that point. Yeah exactly. This was well I think you'll be able to guess this Frank you might even Pierre you're an intelligent man. Another David

who was a prominent political figure sounds could be mistaken for Baddiel if said quickly David sounds similar to Badil, rhymes with Badil. Rhymes with Badil? Just about, I'm gonna tell you. Go on. Yeah. It was former Liberal leader David Steele. Oh and who mistook him for David? Matt Riley, one of our readers. Thought they said David Badil. Because screaming Lord Sarge, I mean, doesn't have the best diction, but he said, yeah, well, I was saying to my old friend David Hill and he actually said David Steele. I see. Is he very posh sounding? No, he's very,

he sounds very South London, I would say. He did an album called Lord Sarch and Friends and he got people like Jeff Beck to play on it and stuff I think. When did the Monster Raving Looney Parties start? I don't know. How has it managed to keep in this age of mental health awareness? Is it still on? Still going. We're crazy. There's still a party called the Monster Raving Looney party. How can I possibly still be alone? They're going to be renamed the Mental Health Awareness Party,

but they're going to change nothing about their clothes and names. They're still going to go, woo, ha ha ha. Yeah, exactly. I like that synonymous with mental health issues is also apparently wearing leopard-skin trousers. Leopard print trousers. A sort of seven-foot top hat loitering next to David Cameron. When the results come in and it's you know it's Buckethead and stuff.

Who's the one Frank? Was it Count Binface? No. Isn't it Buckethead? Lord Buckethead. Is it Lord Buckethead? And Count Binface. There's two I think. And Elmo. And actually El Mori run, didn't he? El Mori run. He did against Farage and Clacton. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah, I don't like the stunt candidates. Do you know? Why not? What's the point? What's the point in it all?

Okay. I always struggle to determine in my ward if some of the candidates are stunt or not, because they'll be like this you know the the Jimmy Gribbins legalize weed and invade the moon party and I sort of think I don't think they think that's a joke I don't think that's a party anyone say I was in my ward it's the least used description of an area I've ever heard. What are things like in your ward? Yeah, I was watching that film Boys in the Ward. Why don't people use it?

They should just get rid of the word because no one uses it. Get rid of the ward. No, I'd rather be popularised it. They should just get rid of the word because no one uses it. Get rid of the word. No, I'd rather be popularised it. Did Screaming Lord Satch write an autobiography because of the potential in that? Come on Frank, I need you to start thinking about some options for him. Is he still with us by the way? I don't think he is. Oh, it's a shame. I don't think so. He's been replaced by some other brightly clad attention seeker. I'd like to have seen the pallbearers at his funeral. Those same women like 40 years on.

We swore an oath. Yeah. As they tip him into the comically shaped grave. Oh dear. Anyway, he had a lovely house it turned out. Oh, well that's good on him. I'm just going to end with another excruciating moment, was when David Frost interviewed Mary Peters, who was, what was she Frank, like an athlete? She won the...

Yeah, she was a... Really prominent, wasn't she? I think she was a pentathlete. Yeah, a pentathlete. Irish, she went on to become like an Irish athletics administrator person, I think. Very straight hair, very Clifford T Ward in the hair department. What about when David Frost says at the end, anyway, what's a delightful lady like you doing living in that big house all on your own, eh?

Seems a bit of a shame. Oh dear. You can't say that to ladies. No, you can't say that. It's a bit... He didn't know, dear. You can't say that to ladies. No, you can't say that. It's a bit... He didn't know, Frank. It's a bit threatening a guy who's dressed like he's from the boiler company. What are you doing to this big asshole on your own, eh?

Anything could happen. Seems an awful shame. A lot of rooms for my boys. I think of the many things I've said in my life that I've regretted. One high in the list is, gosh you're attractive for a post woman. I really, I still squirm in the middle of the night. Why did you say that? Well, it was early in the morning and I wasn't gathered, fully gathered myself together.

Oh, I'm sorry everyone. Okay. We've also... Please have a stop. We've also had Lombardo who's got in touch. He's a little upset... Not Vincent Lombardi. No. No. This is Lombardo Radwell who's a little upset with you regarding how you pronounce ice cream. Right, I'm not having it, Lombardo starts. Okay. Quite aggressive. In a recent episode, you talked about going to Claridge's, there was mention of ice cream, which you pronounced ice cream. You are not American, mention of ice cream which you pronounced ice cream you are not

American it's ice cream. What's the difference? I don't know either so that's told you regards Lombardo here's the kicker founder of Bradwell's ice cream. Oh okay. You got a fabulous Italian name like Lombardo, which will impress the glass eye crowd. Then you call it what? Barnard? Brad Wells.

Brad Wells. Sounds like... Why are you making a prison chip shop? You sound like you own a workhouse in a Dickens novel. My name is Giuseppe da Firenze and I am the founder of Barry's Pizza. What are you doing? I'm trying to izz this at Brad pizza. So anyway can you say ice cream? Ice cream? Yes you are a bit weird. Am I? Yeah I say ice cream. Yes okay. Don't think about it just do it. I scream. I think, what does Lord Sartre say? I scream. He says a bit of, what would he like? Arctic roll. Oh yeah. Well, it's somewhere in the depths of the messages.

He might like a twister. Oh yeah. Yes? Because it's crazy. It's all spinny. Never a day off from such a house. What do they associate with his particular brand? It's crazy colours. Big top hats and things. A lot of animal print. I thought you'd say it would be like very black and red and gothic. That's what I was imagining. I would say it was super tasteful. It was very sort of 70s art deco. Truly he was a broadsheet posing as a tabloid. We had, well, it's French wife as well. Is that a euphemism? No, he genuinely had a French wife. It's

a household implements, like a wooden piece that you iron your shirts against. It's like a vice or something. Oh, he really is a French wife. You have a trouser press, French wife. Hey mate, can I borrow your French wife? No, not your husband. Well, this criticism of cold treats pronunciation cuts both ways. Go on.

Because we actually had some notes on your pronunciation of calippo. Yes, I do say it very awkwardly. Oh, the producer's nodding. How disloyal. From Jake. That she never said anything at the time. No, well that's what people are like. And now she's nodding like, oh yes, I knew you were wrong.

Yeah, they don't want the bullets. You say calippo. Calippo. I say what were wrong. Yeah, they don't want the bullets. You say calipo. Calipo? I say what I want. Or calipo is too close to calipo. That's why I don't like it, Frank. Or like a sort of casual surgeon. How did I?

Let me say it without thinking, Hannah. Let me say it without thinking. Hello, shopkeeper. I'll have two calipo, please. Is that weird? It's weird. I'm guessing that it shouldn't be... Calipo.

Shouldn't it be calipo? Don't laugh at me. Don't laugh at me. Isn't it calipo? Calipo. Cal guessing that it shouldn't be... Calippo. Shouldn't it be... Don't laugh at me. Don't laugh at me. Isn't it Calippo?

Calippo, I would say. I feel you're more in my party at least. Well, I would have thought it's based on Calipso. That's what I think. But they've took away the S to get rid of cultural appropriation. I liked giving it. I feel it's the brand has a slightly joyful most Brazilian energy and I enjoy that which is why I like a Brazilian

energy friction. Calippo. How am I meant to say it? Calippo. That's horrible Frank's right sounds like what does it sound like Frank Calipers. It sounds like the Robert Browning poem about fra lipo lipo. But Jake says- The artist? Yeah. Jake says, when I was a kid, my little working class self called them clipos. They swallowed the A completely, but now he's a calippo man as an adult. And he ends with, I quite like this, very humble,

hope my email was worth your time. Oh, how lovely. Very nice. Aw. Very nice. I wonder, now to make it all even Stevens, I need to find a dessert that I say wrong. Oh, I don't like that, Pierre.

You're saying, no, if only I could make a mistake. But that's not what happened. I'm gonna have to casually in the next record work in like tiramisu or something and try and trigger a bunch of emails. I'm going to have to pretend to get it wrong because obviously... I can't have a tiramisu. No? It's one of those where if things that they use alcohol in food, usually cooks away, but

tiramisu, they make a dessert and then they pour half a bottle of sherry over it. Yes, that's true. Yeah I... And it's always the speciality when you they're always very proud of their tiramisu. Are they? Yeah. Did you genuinely say tiramisu? No I was just picking up on that.

You know I picked it up and I ran with it. That's how I operate on a comedy podcast. Ah, Frank Skinner's improv chums, that's what I'm going to call it from now on. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. The new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never

miss an episode and if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com