The Frank Skinner Show - Rejected by King Charles

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

Em’s been invited to Buckingham Palace, Frank reminisces about the time his PA added “Bible Launch Party” to his diary, and Steve Hall returns with a bumper batch of Outside World fan mail. We���re currently sponsored by BT - behind brilliant things! Search ‘Why BT’ to find out more or click on the following link: https://www.bt.com/broadband/why-bt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank Off the Radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know? Hey there, you were the stars in your eyes. This is Frank Off the Radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Steve Hall is with us today. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via Frank Offder Radio, Avalon, UK.com. And on the WhatsApp front.

417-769. Oh, 7457s, 417-7-6-9. Absolutely tremendous. And that was from David Thorpe. Okay. Or maybe he's from a place called David Thorpe, which sounds like it's in a place. Okay. But who knows?

That's my favourite one, I think. Who's your favourite one? The jingles. I want to make your favourite Thor? That was the least AI. What about Robert Mabelthorpe, the homosexual. He said you don't like him. I wonder why you don't like him.

What kind of a big guitar are you, Steve? I like Ian Thorpe. Oh, yeah. I interviewed Ian Thorpe. You didn't. He's for my heroes. I love the Thorpeedo. Yeah.

Did you interview him, Frank? Would I've liked him? What's he like? Is Thorpe a common gay name? Jeremy Thorpe. Frank, so you can't say that. Robert Mapplethorpe. You can't say a con.

It's not a comedy. He wore a leather jumpsuit when I interviewed him. What's his size 17 feet or something like that? Yes. Yes, he had. Lucky then. Lucky, lucky, lucky. That was an aid to his swimming.

He was basically flippers. Yeah. Which came first, the feet or the swimming in terms of, does he a good swimmer and then thought, hey, my feet are getting bigger? Well, look, I don't want to get controversial, but when Castasomenia is told to take drugs to take down her... Oh, yeah. What's that man thing?

Human growth? Yeah, testosterone. You know, you could just say some people just are born with physical advantages. No one said he had to have his feet made smaller. I'm glad he didn't. What was Thorpey like? He was very nice, actually. Was he? Very torn.

He had a fin brilliantly. You know the thin haircut? He was doing everything to swim faster. He had a proper shark fin hair cot, which made him about eight feet tall. Did he? And he's Aussie, isn't he? Is he an awesome? Yeah, he's Ozzy.

Oh, is he? Okay. I can't remember, to be honest. Yeah, okay. Sorry, Steve. I think I'd travel on your... No, that was all just coming from the compliments to Dave Thorpe's jingle. Okay.

And it's sort of five, four, three, two one vibe to it. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. So I... Weirdest interlude you two have ever had. Yeah. I do what's something that happened to me this week. I was watching the...

almost religious post-pegardeola celebrations. Yeah. And he said in his moving message to the... You know, people can't say fucking anything nowadays without a bit of music under it. Yeah, yeah. I imagine that Sandy, our new producer, will be putting music under everything we say.

She comes from the world of radio where you can't talk unless there's something happening underneath. Anyway, he did this message for the city fans And it's all I miss you know, this is the family I love and all this stuff And at one point he says Nothing is eternal I thought I've gone off him

Oh, Frank I didn't know he's anti-religious He's a non-believer Damn atheist That's not predictive Nothing is eternal Because the 115 F8 charges are finally going to get answered and they're going to get

stripped of things. That's a bit political. But yeah, it could be that. The thing with him, he's now got, I thought, fair play to him, he's done 10 years and he's achieved so much. And now he needs a new challenge. That's what he's doing. You know, you need a new challenge. But what he's done, he hasn't gone to manage, you know,

PSG or something. What he's done, he's gone on the David Beckham room. It's become a fucking global ambassador. He's become an ambassador. Which means nothing. I mean, I'm going to do nothing now. It is the most, as they say in football, the most golf clubs in the boot job you could possibly have.

I'm saddened by it. When you think of what he's done, just to change, you know, technical area chic, no one has had more of an influence on the look of managers. Well, one thing that hasn't caught on. is the, you know how jazz saxophonists have this thing, circular breathing? So they are able to breathe in while they're breathing out.

Oh, that's fascinating. And so they can just, there's no gaps in their playing. It's really astonishing. You can't believe it's being done. Yeah. He does that with spitting. So he has a perpetual, he rolls the spit around. So the spit coming out, but you can see.

spit being formed at the same. If you watch him on the bench, he's like a little spit fountain. It's horrible. It's perpetual motion, sort of sputum's cradle. Do you know what it is? It's the Mediterranean tax, really, isn't it?

Because the Mediterranean, the romance language is, this will happen. Well, I've never seen any of the manager who does that. Circular spitting. It's, oh, well, it's revolutionized the game in so many ways. The fashion, the football and the flam.

He's conquered them all. That's his autobiography. Available shorty. I hope he was called that. Yeah, and the next one will be called The Ambassador Spiles Us. Oh, man, the ambassador. I hope he gets,

there's a phrase I only just learned recently because I did like a corporate thing. I know. I got to eat. And it was the phrase I'd never heard before, mission creep. Oh, yes.

Do you know it? It means you sign up to do something and the people have signed you up. You do the contract. Yes. They slowly move it around so you're doing a bit more. I hope he ends up to it.

I hope he ends up having to put the cones out. Is mission creep so it's to do with, will you just do this? And then it's, oh, could you do this video? Not just, will you just do this? But you've signed to do stuff and they just kind of wouldn't mind a bit. What about if you?

Yeah, and if you say, no, no, that's not in my contract, then you are a monster that everyone hates. Difficult to work with. Yeah, exactly. Because he was quite a dower in interviews. He didn't give away a lot as a manager. He was infamously, particularly if city had lost, they were toe-cirlingly awkward interviews. But now as a global ambassador, you've got to be a fugitive. Now, darling, how I won everything.

Well, there'll be no loss now. It's just game. That's all he's got now. It's a global ambassador. He's going to have a great old time. But all managers tend to be utterly vile when they've lost. Anyway, maybe that's enough about football. It's turning into five live here.

It is. I don't like it. I am worried about it. Sorry, love. Actually, my t-shirts turned into a check of Ben Sherman. Steve was about to say to me, could you get me a coffee, love? Anyway. She's trickle.

Thanks, darling. My neck's got a bit thicker. And you smell of Davido. I'm just saying, Nigel makes a few good. points. Frank, I need to tell you, I meant to tell you about my trip to Buckingham Palace. Oh, God, yes. Do you remember this?

I went to what happened. I remember you promised to tell. Well, I went to a party thrown by the king. It was the anniversary of the King's Trust Garden Party. I was the guest of the Incredible Hark. You're familiar with the Incredible Hark. Oh, Connie Huck, yeah. Can I tell you something about the Prince, the King's Trust is called that?

Yeah, now King's Trust, yeah. Did I ever tell you that I, many, not that many years ago, but several years ago, was the anniversary, I think it was the 400th, maybe the, maybe more, of the King James version of the Bible, King James Bible, yeah? So the Prince Charles, as he was then, was the patron of the trust that was formed. Strange party. Yeah, to celebrate. Now, so there was a trust to celebrate this anniversary, and he was the patron of the trust. So there was a party to launch the trust. And my PA put in my diary, I looked it up and it said,

King James Bible launch party. I thought, that's going to confuse anyone who digs me off and finds that. Who was DJing fat, Tony? Yeah. I love that. Well, this was just a regular... Can I tell you one of the things? You may.

Timothy West read a section from Matthew's Gospel. And there was like two teenagers behind me. You looked like they were angry about having to wear suits and stuff like that. And anyway, he finished his Bible reading from the King James version. One of them said, oh, that was a bit retro. Ro. Anyway. 400 years,

so, will you all be familiar with this then? And that you do have, I've got to say, I don't think there's quite so much pressure on men because with women it's like, oh, the hat, the shoes, all this stuff. I decided not to go hat. Instead, I went pearl headband. Wow. Yeah.

A bit to-oian. She sounds like a punk rock singer from the light of haven't you? Pearl headband sound like a flapper. Yeah. It's a bit Tory MP's wife. Oh, is it?

Yeah. I quite like the pearl headband look. Yeah. So... It also sound terribly. It sounds like a pawn turn. Of course it does. And that's why I was reluctant

to bring it up in front of Steve. I was slow on it, but Steve was grinning so evilly. I thought there must be something... Memories of time lost back. Oh, no. I couldn't look at Steve when I said those words. That's why I looked at you, Frank.

I can't look at him, really. Anyway, I went Pearl Head Band, Frank. Shut up, Steve. And I met up with the Incredible Heart, Connie Hock, outside we met, at a nearby hotel. I always think that's a good thing to do. Yes. And she looked fabulous. She always does.

But she had a baseball cap on. I said, I don't think you can wear that. Pearl. I only use that name when I'm working, but thank you. And I said, you can't wear a baseball cap, Connie, to the King's, to Buckingham. Palace. She said, oh, I just had it, I wear a baseball cap for travelling. So I said, okay. Interesting. So I said, okay, fine. But I said, you must take it off. Well, I forgot. We went inside and we're looking around the gardens and she still had the baseball cap on. We got approached by security.

There were lots of police. They didn't explicitly say, who are you and why have you got a baseball cap on? Yeah. But I think from afar, they must have thought that looked on. Yeah. So, and they were armed and everything. They came over. Luckily, when she turned, around it was awful that the celebrity worked. They went, oh, it's you. They were almost like you should have said. I mean, if she'd have had it on back to front, she'd have been shot before they got that close.

It is on set. I presented some Duke of Edinburgh awards. And there's all these kids there, and it's a very joyous little thing. And I looked up and on the roof of Buckingham Palace, there's about six snipers. It is a little bit. Except it, we do, isn't it?

Yeah, but I suppose they're going to have it, you know. We saw lots of familiar faces. I saw Sam Ryder and his partner, Lois, and they're big fans of you and Buzz. He loves you and Buzz. He's such a nice bloke. Where had he seen you at a festival or something? Well...

Do you know Sam Ryder? He's sung... Eurovision. Very good. Very good. Don't mention Eurovision. He's moved on since then. He saw me at...

At a... It's a long story. Okay, fine. But it was an event. I'll probably tell you about it later. I'd made a bit of a mistake. But anyway, I made him. Sounds unlike you.

And he recommended Burning Ambition, which is the new documentary film about Iron Maiden. He'd been to see that. He'd been invited to the first night. That's all I'm saying. And he was right. We went and saw that and he was great. But he's one of those.

There's some people in show business who were so nice, you think they shouldn't be in show business. Well, he's a huge. Him and Jody Whittaker, That's about it. He's a huge fan of buzzes. And when I told him, he didn't know Buzz was learning finish. That made a lot of sense to him.

I said, it's so brilliant. He said it's a music thing. I didn't, but anyway, he was very impressed by that. I did have one slightly awkward incident, though, which I knew, I thought Frank will be so pleased something bad. I mean, a step up from the police nearly shooting your friend. Oh, that was nothing compared to this. There were three grades of tent.

there's the royal tent we didn't make it in there the royal tent's a bit magnate that's the potions that's where the king is I looked who was in there because Rob Bryden said to me he said oh we're not in the royal tent are we I said no the royal tent was Idris Elba

Helen Mirren Damien Lewis I think you would have made the Royal Ten No I wouldn't have made the Royal Ten No you would because you're MBE aren't you so I think you would have But me and the likes of Briden, we're not quite good enough. I'd rather be in.

I'd want to be in with them. Oh, I feel so much better about us now. Well, they wouldn't even know where was those people. Well, we were in Golden Legacy tent. Golden Legacy. What does that mean? It sounds like a retirement home. I'll tell you who was in there.

It was a bit more coming up this autumn on ITV. Because Simon Cowell was sitting next to us. Simon Cowell didn't met the Royal World. He was golden legacy. He's got quite a legacy, though, I hear. See, people don't recognise him since then. Since he's gone for the slip-knot look. Yeah, what would the arm police say to his face?

We had Holly Willoughby. Ah. And, yeah, you're getting the picture anyway. It was a bit ITV. It was a bit ITV. Who don't really have a golden legacy. So, Connie and I were going to. When we were queuing to get into the Golden Legacy T-Tent,

yeah. There was kind of a beefeater or someone checking off my pass. A beefeater at Buckingham Pallet. Oh, there were, I quite fancied them. I thought they were at the tower. We had about 50 of them. They turned up special. It was so nice.

Okay. I think they turn up for the guests. I don't know. I've got a picture of them. I took loads of pictures. I don't doubt you. I took evidence. Would they not have been roasting?

I feel sorry for them if they. Roasting? Roasting beef. Anyway, as I'm queuing Frank, I say, oh, thank you when I give my pass and go through. And I hear a very posh woman say behind me to her husband. I presume it was her husband. She said, well, I don't know. I was trying to get in, but these people have just pushed in in front of me.

Oh, so you'd hear it, presumably. Yeah, completely so I'd hear it. And I'm hoping you turned around one, you fucking what? You fucking. I could have left it. Yeah, but you didn't. You know me, Frank. I can't leave it.

That wouldn't be me. So I turned round, and I was very polite, I said, I'm so sorry, is there a problem? And I went a little bit posher. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I thought, you'd have a posh-offs. You got the pearl headband on. You're suitably dressed.

I thought, let's have a posh off here. And I saw her husband looking a bit embarrassed. I didn't think it was his first time at the How Dare They Rodeo. But anyway, so I said, I'm so sorry, is there a problem. And she got a little bit surprised when I turned round. And she said, no, no, no, it's quite all right. It's quite all right. Let's not dwell on it.

I remember she said, let's not dwell on it. No, that means there was any. Yeah, I don't like that. That's where you go, I think we're going to dwell on it for a long time. I think your point. There was nothing to dwell on. Exactly. She was saying, let's not dwell on the thing that obviously happened.

She was acknowledging there was a transgression. And did you? So I said, you've just made a podcast, my friend. I said, no, no, no. And I decided to call it. I said, I'm just mortified that. you think I've pushed in. I said, I honestly didn't push in.

She said, no, no, no, as I say, let's move on, let's move on. She kept using language like move on. Yeah, so there still was an eight. I was still guilty. I was Jean Valjean, you know. And so eventually, it actually got quite awkward. And I could see her husband. He seemed quite a meek, nice man.

And he was sort of trying to help. Well, he never gets the word. And eventually, he sort of said, look, it's fine, it's fine, we're in. And I kept apologising. And you know, she suddenly turned. And I don't know what happened, whether it was her husband trying to help, or I was sort of being quite a, relatively sort of apologetic. She said, look, I think we got off on absolutely the wrong foot.

Shall we start again? My name is Annette. This is my husband, Nicholas. I said, lovely to meet you. And do you know, I said, I'm really glad we've resolved this because it would have been very awkward. We were all at Buckingham Palace, trying to have a nice day. And do you know what?

We ended up chatting. I spoke to Nick for a while, who seemed very charming, humble man. We had a nice conversation. Anyway, later, a friend's husband came over to me and said, I'm so jealous. Why were you chatting to Nick Mason from Pink Floyd?

Oh, it was Nick Mason. And it was his wife and hair. You see, I've had a... You know, I had a Nick Mason thing. I was talking with him at a party. I didn't know who he was. He doesn't look like a rock star. Well, that's the thing, Frank, he had an an anorack on.

I didn't know. Well, when I asked him, he had a denim shirt on. Yeah. I mean, unless he was him bewitched. I wouldn't recognise him as a pop star. And I started telling him about touring and what it was like. Hang on, you've done the same thing with him.

Yeah, with him, yeah. Because I thought, you know, I'll tell you about touring, you can tell me about Barcliffe. And then so I said, what do you do? And he said, I'm in a band. And I think even then I didn't get the warning. No.

And I said, oh, will I have heard of them? He said, I don't know they're called Pink Fly. But Frank, this is interesting. We've both had a similar experience. Why is it? Why is it always Nick Mason this happens to? Because he doesn't look like a rock star. That's what it is.

Is that what it is? Yeah, definitely. Because I think, yes, you're right. Because if someone had come over looking a bit more like Roger Daltry or Mick Jagger, I would have probably, I hate to say it, probably thought, oh, they're married to someone who looks like he's important. Maybe I better shut up and run away. Anyway Well it's quite nice

If Nick Mason's remained a nice bloke Despite all that from him Because certainly Well we don't know that But he seems humble And balances out Other members of Pink Floyd I think he went on to tell me

That he bought the house I think he bought Camilla's Oh did he? They're good friends I think yeah There's a connection I said I bet that's a nice He said well I bought it mainly for the stables

I thought I'm in a different word I'm in a different one I mean a different one. Can I say it was a fabulous date. There was, I mean, it was slightly mortifying that Nick thing. But I would, at least I wasn't Damien Lewis. Because Damien Lewis, I felt for him. He was presented to the king alongside Helen Mirren.

And Helen Mirren sort of curtsied. And then he goes to kiss her on the cheek. You'll be familiar with this protocol, Frank. It's his, the kings were saying. Oh, yeah, I'm at the palace a lot. Yeah, he's done the palace. But it's the king. King's way of saying, it's all right, we're friends.

I'm going to break protocol and kiss you on both cheeks. And as he's kissing him on both cheeks, Damien then thinks it's my turn. He sticks his hand out. Yeah. King leaves him hanging. Oh, no. In front of all of us.

It was, I don't know. I've never seen a hand retreat into her pocket so quickly. Hmm. It was awful. Of course, the king can't get his hand in his pocket. No, he can't get his hand in anything. No.

He has to have mittens. He's okay with kitten, but he can't unleash the sausage. It's a bit weird. Helen Mirren being there, isn't it? You see, if I'd have been the king, I'd have called her mummy. He liked doing that, didn't he, mummy? Yeah, but I mean, the fact that she played the Queen is a partner. Of course, yeah.

Yeah. Yes, maybe he's not a fan. I don't know. No, he can't, you know, he's not like the queen. The queen never missed a hand in 60 years. I didn't like, they started DJing though, Idraselba. He's lovely talented bloke, but he was DJing, and I didn't like hearing the rave music at Buckingham Palace.

I always say he wears the, he's got the nicest collection of varsity jackets of ever seen Idriselma. I remember thinking he might only wear them once. What does he do with it? Why does he have all the Valsers? I don't know what it is, but honestly, he looks like. He's been in a deluxe version of Greece. So you're suits, you got treated well with suits over the years.

Yeah. So that's his equivalent. He's got the vast. Well, he obviously sees the Vastity jacket as he's look. I doubt he would have had one on that day. But that's love. Anyway, do you know what? Well done you.

I would go again, Frank. I loved it so much. Yeah, I don't know if it's optional. I think you have to get invited. That's the problem. I'm working on it. I think you're my best next. expect. No, I think

you're with your people. It's good. Do you know, I did feel that. Yes. I really do. Maybe go by a gin and go with Nick Mason. What's that? Kick a net to the curb and go with Nick Mason yourself. Brief, less pleasant interlude. Go on. I'm just thinking now of people. I'm thinking of privilege

although a privilege at that level. It doesn't really feel like privilege anymore. But I live in Hampstead, which is a very, there's no shortage of privilege there. And on over the bank holiday, which was super hot, people, lots of people arrive. And they swim in the pond that isn't for swimming. They swim in the pond. There are swimming ponds, but they're swimming in the pond, which is for the swans and stuff.

Yes, I read this in the news. And I watched a thing today, and it was people using the nest to climb onto their eyes. island and stuff. There was eggs, unhatched eggs floating on the water and I really thought oh it's a shame vigilante justice

and I would have happily sat with a rifle to take the least people there's going to be anything floating on the pond let's make it those people. I found that earlier

I just mentioned it was really upset I was close to tears so was I it was vile and there was a swan desperately trying to sort of protect the Yeah, it was awful. That's terrible.

Anyway, I've just mentioned that as a little palate cleanser before we go to our outside world. Have it just established large portions of the outside world are assholes? No, no, it is a large portion. It's a select privileged few. Steve, we seem to have had a lot of correspondence for you this week. I don't know why that would be. No, complaints?

No, not complaints. Can I see the handwriting? All from Steve. Steve's been really popular this week with our listeners. Well, I knew if we waited longer enough. It's taken 14 years. Let's hear it. We've had, yes, Emily, men sit down to wee.

Do you remember Steve saying, I'm sorry, but do you remember Steve saying he sat down to week? I've broken through. And it made us both feel a little illy. Yeah, I didn't like it at all. Neither of us liked it. But Steve was adamant. And this character continues,

It's something my wife has encouraged me to do for many years. I don't want to get involved. So she can see in the mirror, I suppose, a cleaning of teeth. They're a very busy family. And it's especially appropriate in the middle of the night. Why is it appropriate in the middle of the night? Well, because men miss, you see. Oh, I see.

Oh, I saw that on succession when Logan Roy did a wee on the cold bit. There's also less noise, slightly less noise. Okay. As Steve said, it saves any, oh, do God. Have you regretted reading this? Yes, I have to read it all. It's not bad. It says it saves any fallout from poor aiming, okay?

I won't be doing it myself. I also, there are some men who, if there are urinals available, still go into the cubicle to urinate. And I always think, who do you think you are? Why are you doing that? Oh, really? So if you're using the urinal. Yeah, but they don't want to stand at the urinal. Is it sort of like they're saying I'm a VIP when they go into that?

I don't know if they're saying I'm so ashamed of my terrible penis. I don't want to stand next to anyone with it. I don't know what the thing is. Do they look at the other ones, willies? What, if that's the irides? Do men look at each other's willies? Be honest. It's, you know, peripheral.

It's not a deliberate thing. Here we go. I look straight ahead. Okay. I used to a thing of saying. I go full Marty Feldman. I used to say, Floor's cold.

I would find it so awkward. I don't mind it at all. I've got a memory of you saying when you'd been drinking Barocca. I'm trying to remember if this is a story you were telling me. Oh, no, it wasn't Barocca. It was when I became 50, I was given as a gift these 50 plus vitamin tablets. But they made your urine translucent. I mean, not translucent.

What's the word when it glows in the dark? Luminous. You glowed in the dark anyway. That was what it did. It's like a bright orange high-vis urine I developed. And from walking to and back, the to the

en suite it meant that in the darkness it looked like a runway this stuff flowing in the dark and when I got to the actual toilet mat

had so much so much drippage on it it was like flying over Vegas but I don't take those anymore

that's why I sit down to avoid okay I can remember you being on Graham Norton

telling that story and I was so proud of you because you had a lot of these Hollywood guests on and I love it when the British the plucky British comedian makes the Hollywood it's my favourite thing on Graham Norton is I think they come on thinking who's this

and then when they make them laugh I almost cry with pride because I think we're better than you I had it once with Greg Davis when he made them like Ryan Gosling laugh and you can see him thinking oh English people

English comedians are really funny. They're funny. And I saw it with you with an actor called Zach. He's in a hospital drama. He was famous for and he's very famous. Zach Brath? Yeah.

I think it was him. It's this man here. And I can remember him looking... Is he the one who would eat no chaff? And I remember him looking at you. It was like he was re-evaluating you. And you told this story and the whole audience just going, whoa, clapping.

It was like, oh, okay, he's quite funny. I thought he was just a Birmingham man. And then he loved you. Yeah, but then I... I hit my low ebb mention in Flying Ant Day none of the Hollywood people knew about it and I

broke the ultimate Graham Norton rule which I've never forgiven for and I said oh well maybe the big Hollywood stars have kept away from it and he said we don't want any of that Graham Norton did he did yeah so it's obviously a bit of a no-go area mentioning there well that hasn't come up

when I Google my YouTube searches English comedians making Starr's laugh, that doesn't come up. Yeah, it's been snipped. But yeah, it's a difficult if they don't know what that, it's difficult to sort of go. You won't understand, but your gardeners are going to love that. Yeah, but Graham Norton said he'd never heard of it either,

but I don't know whether he was trying to be more Hollywood than Albury. We've got another one for Steve. Oh, goodness me. This is from, suspiciously, Steve in West Midlands. This is like when you're on a... panel after a film and the star is there and you're the second AD and no one asks you a question they just ask the star go on this is from Steve in West Midlands it's you could have been more imaginative on the location Steve for goodness sake um hi team uh listen to your pod and was delighted

to hear Steve Hall has a cat named Bonnie yes as have I mine was named after the triumph Bonville motorcycle Triumph Bonneville Bonneville, sorry, which I used to own. I would love to hear how Steve's cat got her name. This is extraordinary. It is. Steve. Perhaps it was named after the infamous

American outlaw Bonnie Parker. All praise redacted, good day to you. Over to you, Steve. So she was a rescue. Don't tell me she had sex with a thousand mile cat. Oh, please. Really frank. The other Bonnie that's the only...

Bonnie has stolen the name Bonnie. Bonnie Blue. She's been travelling the UK on a feline bang bus. Yeah. Not the pussy wagon. Oh, Frank. Please. I don't want to know about the pussy wagon.

No. Go on. Unless there's actual cats on it. Unless there's actual cats. Is it Kill Bill where the bloke's car is called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carry on. I've had an idiotic idiotic eureka moment.

I've only just realized why she's called body blue. Why? Well, because it's blue. I thought it was just the colour. What did you? I think it was just a colour, nice name or something. Oh, I think you might thought she had circulation issues.

Anyway, Steve. Yeah, so they were, she had a brother who sadly is no longer with us, who was Bertie. They arrived as a pair, Bonnie and Bertie. And they were their rescue names. And so we wanted to sort of respect the family that were unable to look after them. We wanted to do something nice for them. So they were very touched that we were. kept the original names.

So that's it. And then we were going to call them. They were unable to look after them. So they were rescued and then there was a family that had taken them that weren't able to look after them for various sad reasons. So we then stepped in. And your act of kindness towards that family was to retain

the name. That was it. Yeah, yeah. And then her there was no hander. Did you pay the money? And then her brother was dead within a year as well, that cat. Oh, okay. We won't ask how that happened. And that was why. So the new kitten was potentially going to be called Clyde to...

Oh, don't do that. Frank, sir, we've talked about this. Never name them after a partnership because it will be very sad. Then you don't want to be just left with chips, do you? Or Castello. I've seen a lot of Costello's and chips over the years. What goes with chips? Whizzar?

Fish. Oh, okay. I was thinking of the comic, whizzling. Fish and chips, man. Fish and chips, as I've heard of that. You see it a lot. It's when you see... And I've heard people, I think I might have,

because I meet a lot of animals in the course of my work, and you will often hear this is Clyde, and we all know what story that's telling. Well, it could have been based on the orangutan from every which way but loose. But probably not. I've never seen every which way but loose. What role did Clyde have in that film?

He was assistant. Assistant? What did he mean, assistant? Did he have a fake chauffeur? I think he was... He drove a vehicle? Like he was driving. I don't think he drove, did he?

Hang on. I think it was made to look like he's driving. And then he would, Clint East would say, right turn, Clyde, and he'd punch something. Hang on. Clint East would a detective, isn't he? Well, was he hanging out with an orang-a-tang then? Well, that's the long arm of the law. How did Clint East would meet Clyde?

I don't know if you have, I don't know if there's an origin story. Well, the origin of the species. I hope so, Clyde. An origin story. He can't just. What, they never explain. how they got together? I don't think, but that's true of lots

of partnerships. I think the explanation was... When you watch a Laurel and Hardy film, you don't have a bit showing how they had met? Well, they should have. I think in that word, it was screenwriters in Hollywood in the 70s did a lot of cocaine. Oh, I see.

That was the reason for a lot of things. That was the sequel, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well, Clyde had a sit... Was it still the same Clyde? Well, one never asked us questions about animals in films. It's like...

Apparently with Skippy, there was like about 12 of them in the van, all in sacks. Oh, I know. Do you know they have to put kangaroos in sacks or they're very active. If they put them in sat and I just lie still. Do you know, it was the 70s was very cruel and Australia.

And I can say that because I'm half off-rolaysian. You know, they were very cruel, I'm afraid, in those days. Well, we didn't know. I mean, look at Mr. Edd, they used to put the talking horses, He's to put peanut butter on the roof of his mouth to make him look like he was talking. Well, let's not get onto the children in the WC Fields film. No, you know, children.

So now it seems less bad. Did you have to work with any animals in your screen career? Yes, just the Triffids. And I had a dog in Triffids. I was given a dog to work with. Charming dog, it was. belong to the actor because it was very 70s and 80s then

you could just say look I don't want to leave my dog at home love he just said to the director I don't want to leave it at home love can I bring it along and can you make it part of the storyline it's a good idea because every animal I've ever worked with that has arrived with

a sort of handler the handler can do absolutely fuck all the thing I can't make the animal do anything they're absolutely hopeless or the tortoise you heard Anyway, we come to the end of the show. I say that because you can't see the clock

and I'm trying to rescue you from overwork. In this intense heat or experiencing at the moment. So now usually we end on a laugh. Now we're stocking that thing. What are we going to do? I don't know. Let's Steve, can you end the podcast? I had an anecdote I was going to, but it's...

No, we don't have time for an anecdote. No. Does it involve an orangutan? Also, I don't like an anecdote that's introduced as an anecdote. No, I feel the pressure. Yeah, I reveal the work. Mainly my shoulders and upper arms is where I feel. Frank, I've got a question.

I'd like to know the answer before we go. Have you ever held her an orangutan? No. Okay. End of show. And if you've heard any different, it's bullshit. It's a frank. Skinner podcast.

A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at avalonuK.com.