The Frank Skinner Show - Row O

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

This week Frank has seen a TV programme advertised that's left him with questions and has a confession to make about a trip to the theatre. And Zoe Lyons joins the team again this week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Okay, flights on Air Canada. How about Prague? Ooh, Paris. Those gardens. Gardens. Um, Amsterdam. Tulip Festival. I see your festival and raise you a carnival in Venice. Or Bermuda has carnaval. Ooh, colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom. Book it. Um, how did we get to Thailand from Prague?

Oh, right. Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations. If you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. It's Frank, off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o And the one with the French name, from South Africa came They're all here, open brackets, hooray!

Close brackets today. This is... Awful. This is Frank off the radio. I was laughing a bit so my whistling wasn't up to... I don't think it's... Blame your laughter. It was just quite bad whistling.

This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Zoe Lyons is with us. I don't care what it says here. Zoe Lyons is with us today all the way from Brighton. Yeah. With everything that that entails. She's separated herself from the pride and she's come to stay with us. Exactly.

She's had her day off. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via, such a mouthful this, frank oftheradio at avalonuk.com. They've made it too long. Two minutes, how am I supposed to tell them all the higher case? Why don't they keep it simple? You can WhatsApp us on 07457 417 769 in any order. I love it. You know when you have to read the number up, Frank? So whenever Frank has to read the number up, it feels like, you know when you see those slightly cheap commercials where you're staying in American motels, it says, call us if you want legal advice on 0800 298. Same.

If you like bail money or something. Yeah. Don't call us by the way if you need legal advice. They do sometimes call us. I sometimes look at the WhatsApp messages and we've got you have six missed calls. Really? Yeah. I only very recently was WhatsApp called for the first... WhatsApp is still a new world to me. Frank, no. I couldn't work out. Really? There was a symbol, it was WhatsApp, but there was like a ringing sound. So I just didn't...

I could see who it was and I wanted to speak to them but no, why was I answering? Who was it? Can you show her? It was a lady who lives in our road. Oh, I see. Oh, is it the local WhatsApp group? No, she was calling about... Well, anyway...

Yeah, but did you... The point is, did you see that and think... I thought, what does that mean? I thought WhatsApp was just like texting in green. Right. I don't know if that's how they pitched the problem. What's the difference between texting someone and WhatsApp in them? I can't see any difference at all. Well firstly WhatsApp is free. Okay.

It uses white dials. Well don't say like that's nothing to you. Well texting, is that expensive? Well yeah, it all comes into your mind. When you get your bundle from the phone shop, they say you get 18.4 million texts free before you start, I only send about three a week. Do you know, I hate the way they call it bundle.

What is it, some log cabin? Can I say they might not call it bundle? I think they do. They do still call it a bundle. They do that. It's still a bundle. I've recently went through. They try and make it sound all cosy, your bundle. Bundle of texts.

It is pretty cosy though, the old phone, where would we be without it? Frank, can I just say? I know people don't like them, but we'd be lost without it. I'd be lost because I use Google Maps just to generally walk around. Do you know about his poor sense of direction, Zoe? Have you got a poor sense of direction? Oh poor isn't the word. Apparently I didn't crawl when I was a baby. I waited till I was an alcoholic. That's when I did most of my wedding by myself as well. And apparently according to Piaget's stages of child development. If you don't crawl that then you don't develop a

sense of direction. Really? Well, apparently I never crawled as a baby, I rolled. Yeah. Absolutely bypassed the crawling and just went straight to rolling. Rolling is an interesting way to get around, isn't it? Yeah. And I have a a I've got a pretty good sense of direction I think. Okay yeah. How's your role in an adult life? Rolling in adulthood I'm not versed to it. I think it's still I think you know it's a it's a much unused and much unappreciated mode of transport. Do you ever do the steep grass bank thing? Oh I love that. Frank normally I would think that would be a good question to ask an adult. I was about to say when did you last roll? Yeah, but given that we've got a member of the SAS here, there's no point.

Tuck and roll, tuck and roll. We did it 18 months ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even get the Ubers to stop anymore. Tuck and roll straight out the door. Just bang on my feet. When did you last roll, Frank? Well, when my child was younger, I was pressured into doing quite a lot of grass bank rolling and I don't think there's ever a point when I wasn't say a half, two thirds of the way down the grass bank when I didn't think to myself, I wish I hadn't done this. But it's no getting out of it. Gravity. You're fighting gravity. Slope. Gradient, whatever you want to call it.

You're fighting some of the big concepts. It's like zorbing, that's gone out of thing. What is that? Where you're in a big inflatable ball and then you roll down a hill and... Oh yes, you must know zorbing Frank. I've never been zorbing, I've watched my child zorb. You've never taken a call on WhatsApp either. You should take a call on WhatsApp while zorbing. That would be... Do you get reception in a zorb? I imagine you do. They're sort of transparent, aren't they? It's probably illegal to be on the phone when you're zorbing.

You'd have to be hands-free. They use them on gladiators, of course. Yeah, big metal zorb. By the way, I made a note today. You know when I was talking about programs that just turn up on TV. Yes and you've never heard anything about them before. I was talking about Dr Pimple Popper which I see listed a lot but I've never actually seen it. Have you never delved in? No. But I saw a thing today which, well, I was taken aback. Really?

Do people still get taken aback? Was it a trailer for a forthcoming new show or something? It was just the name of a program and I wrote it down somewhere. I don't think I can find it. That's a shame, isn't it? It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Was it really?

Yeah. No. It was something about Bradley Wolfe's Explores the Egyptian Cosmos. I think that's what it was called. That's a fever dream. No, it's a programme. Honestly, it's a TV. I'll get the producer.

Was he doing it? The producer's already looking it up after I said the producers already Was he doing this with his son? He does it with I don't know if he does it with Barnes He does it with Barnes because he does most gigs with Barnes now. I think he only does gladiators and Breaking Dad. Oh, yeah, but that's two Yeah, that's two. That's quite a lot of gigs. Yeah. Frank, talking the funniest thing you ever heard, we heard from Chris Southerd, had a question for you. He's a fan and he apologizes for being a fan, obviously, because praise is redacted.

But I'm the one person you don't have to apologize to for being a Frank Skinner fan. Everyone else, you have to sort of explain yourself. He says you were on a panel show once with Ali McCoist Yeah And the two panels were bantering and someone on Ali McCoist's panel made a very flat joke But Ali McCoist turned it into the funniest joke that I've ever heard. You yourself, into the funniest joke that I've ever heard. You yourself, Frank Skinner, said at the time, that is the funniest joke I have ever heard.

And it was done by Ali McQuist. I am writing a book, and I would love to include this joke in it, but for the life of me, I cannot remember it now. I get so many contacts from people I'm saying, I'm writing a book. Let me rephrase that, you're writing a book. Yeah. And so is lots of, I'm writing a book. Let me rephrase that. You're writing a book.

And so is lots of other... It's called Bradley Walsh colon, Egypt's Cosmic Code. Oh. Wow. This is the show, by the way. This isn't a joke. This isn't the funniest thing you've ever heard. No. This is a programme. No, this is an actual programme, but... Hang on. So what's it? Is he exploring?? Well I don't know what Egypt's cosmic code is. It's the thing about the ancient Egyptians. Yeah I suppose it is that. What do you think of him? Barns! They were utterly cosmic. Yeah maybe he's an Egyptologist you know we didn't know about it. But don't they get historians to do these things? He's kept his light under a... Can I just say in a world where

let's be honest a lot of television isn't getting made at the moment that one's got through the net that somebody's looked at that and goes yeah. No but someone said I want to make a documentary about Egypt's cosmic codes. Names? Anyone? What about Bradley Walsh? Oh, yeah, well that's it. Job done. Bob? I was going to say you might be really into that stuff. I've no idea. I'm thinking what other names would work before that.

Frank Skinner? Yeah. Oh, I'm not sure about that. That's not very you. I've never been that keen. I like several of the ancient worlds, but the Egyptians I find. Have you been to the pyramids? I have been to the pyramids. Yeah, there you go.

That's probably more than Bradley's done, so you're probably overqualified. Yeah. I remember the guide said to me, you've picked a good time to go to the pyramids, because there was a major terrorist attack last week so a lot of people are staying away. I thought well every cloud. Do you know what I'd worry about you doing that? You'd have to wear a Michael Moore Pergo Panama hat, you'd have to have a whole look. No I don't think I did wear a Panama hat.

Okay but if you presented it you'd have to. I bought some of the local cigarettes because so I was smoking at the time. I bet they were nice. Twenty Cleopatra's, whilst at 27p. Twenty Cleopatra's? They can't be called Cleopatra's. They honestly were. Do you know what?

I like... See what it was like smoking them. Have you ever beaten a car pit and breathed in? Yes, the dust and mites. That's what it was like, smoking a Cleopatra's. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. like smoking them. Have you ever beaten a carpy and breathed in? Yes, the dust and mites. That's what it was like smoking a Cleopatra. I'd call her a Tutankhamun light. Oh man, I took a mate with me and I paid a supplement on the hotel room. For the friend.

That said Pyramid View and I thought I won't tell him because I took a little pair Binoculars with me so we'd be able to see the pyramids a bit closer up So we got in I opened the curtains I thought I hope this isn't a con the pyramids were about 30 yards Yeah about 30 yards away. Oh wow! Oh my goodness! You know when you get a tube of toothpaste and there's like a pointy bit on the top of the lid that you use to pierce the silver paper? Yes. I could have done that with the pyramids. They were clever, the Egyptians, they built them very close to hotels. They did of course, it's a really good idea.

Always thinking ahead of the commerce aspect. Were they marvellous to look at? I wonder how many of those people who were bedded in sand for all eternity actually checked out. Yeah. You know when there's a queue at reception you think, oh forget about it. Out of all of us, who do you think would have done the best in Egyptian times? So that's a very good I think probably Zoe. Yeah. Because Zoe is sort of very I could imagine dragging slabs of stone. Yeah. Sort of enjoying it. I'm sitting around. Yeah. Oh my god.

Well I reckon I could handle a chariot. I can see you. I can see you on a chariot. I wouldn't be doing that so. I'm not going to lie. I can see you. I could overturn a chariot. You'd be out doing some arable work. What I don't like about

a chariot is there's no windscreen. You get a lot of bugs in your face. Oh man, you're covered in yeah flat flies bird droppings I'm gonna say I hope you don't take this offense But I think I am gonna I'm afraid seize the sole court position here Not that it was a court as such so you don't have that and getting going a bit Tudor, but I would be with the Pharaohs Okay, yeah, why with the Pharaohs. Away with the Pharaohs. Nobody loves a Pharaoh when he's 40. I can see him Frank doing something with reeds. Oh yeah what hiding underwater. I don't know why I say that.

From dangerous men. Possible nuisances. Possible nuisances. I definitely see him rocking a leather sandal. A leather sandal, a tunic... I don't know why I'm going to say this but it's just slightly too high above the knee tunic. Yeah, well you know, man's got to live. And do you know what? He's always had a good leg. Yeah, a good leg. I'd have

been a slave though. Whittling a reed. Oh don't put yourself, what do you mean? Do you think it really? Artisan basket maker. Oh well. Oh that's quite, you've upgraded. Yeah. I wouldn't be the first person who they couldn't find a slot for to end up basket making. No. It's an old tradition. Well, maybe I could have made the basket that baby Moses... There you go....floated along the Nile. Lovely. OK, well we've all solved the question, what would we have been like in Egyptian times? Oh yeah, what was the question that we were asked? What was the joke that Ali McQuist did? Well there's your answer. I'd have been a basket maker.

The answer is Chris, we don't know because he thinks it might have been a have I got news or a question of sport. It sounds like it could have been a question of sport. Honest joke you've ever heard in your life on question of sport? Yeah well I'm a man of overstatement. I'd say you're a generous man. Yeah but it must have been good for me to say that. Okay, well maybe if Ali's listening, he can fill us in. Yeah. Okay.

I doubt he's listening though. Why? Well, I've always been more of a Celtic man and he's very ranges. Has he? Hmm, well he played for them. Okay. Like forever, or seemed like forever. Okay. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for

texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Now, I don't know if you've ever heard this podcast, so you don't have to answer that. But last week I was reprimanded. I don't know why because I was saying that I was on the Hampstead Heath and my partner said to me, oh you just totally blanked him and I said who? She said Harry Styles, he just smiled at you and you just walked by. I said I didn't see him. What Harry Styles? He's often on the Heath I'm told. He blanked Harry Styles. You blanked Harry Styles?

To blank someone you have to see them and then decide not to. I just didn't notice. Oh would it kill you to smile at Harry Styles? Which FYI I would do anyway without any prompting or being a celebrity. I don't look people in the eye when I pass them on Hampstead Heath. This isn't people. I learnt the hard way. Never again. Frank, we're no longer in people territory, we're in Stiles territory. I know, but you know, he doesn't carry a sign.

The thing is... Well, he did have one, but it said Jesus was coming in 2031. He... Stiles, according to Kath, and I trust her, she she said styles had sort of given Frank a brief glance. It's the sort of the international brotherhood I call it of celebrity and he'd sort of smiled in acknowledgement and Frank hadn't. Returned it. But I didn't see it anyway.

Oh God. What have you done now nevertheless who now so I this week I did actually said hello to Harry Styles well I thought it was how I know I was at my neighbor to Taro This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard you do. I was at My Neighbour Totoro. Oh I love that film. No it's not a film, it's the stage version now. Oh okay. Nevertheless, I love that film.

No the film is good yeah. I was at the Gillian Lynne theatre, do you know that? Oh yes, familiar with it. Do you know it? No. It used to be somewhere else. Gillian Lynne Theatre. Do you know that? Oh yes, familiar with it. Do you know it? No. It used to be somewhere else. Gillian Lynne. Choreographer? Choreographer. But Gillian Lynne's got her picture up there. I mean, fair play to Andrew Lloyd Webber. She was a choreographer and he named the theatre after her. I think the first woman who wasn't a member of the Royal Family to have a theatre named after her in the West End. Oh wow. I think the first woman who wasn't a member of the Royal Family to have a theatre named after her in the West End.

Oh wow! I'm not aware of this. So there's a picture of her. Is she sort of a classic choreographer? She was lying on top of a load of theatrical posters. Very uncomfortable, Yeah, get one of those rolls up your... She was lying across them with a cat at her side. Hint, because she choreographed cats, which was one of her big things. Yeah. Have you ever seen there's a picture of her having a cough? I'm going to find it on my phone. I know this won't work but we'll put it up. Can we put up pictures that have got the name of a photo

agency written across them? Well leave it with us please. I think it's alright if you... Look she's having a cup of tea. Yeah. Oh! Wow! Wow! Do you want to describe what she's doing? What she's doing is she's got a right leg I would say eight inches higher than her head. Wow. Whilst having a cup of tea. But she's having a cup of tea. That's quite something innit? What a woman! I think it's fair to describe Gillian Lynn as Pete choreographer. Yeah, like always on. Yeah. You know, like sometimes you meet comics that are always on, and it's, yeah. And then that is... Have you met Frank Sinatra? Yes.

Anyway, who was this man? Well, I don't know who he was, but he came down... Well, what do you mean? What did you say? Well, he came along... You know when people excuse you down your line? And there he was, he really looked like him. And I said... I thought, I'm going to make up for last time. I feel ill. And I said, I thought I'm gonna make up for last time. I feel ill.

And I said, hello, you all right? And he went, yeah. Yeah, hello. And he went down. And Kat said, do you know him? And I said, I don't know him, I know who he is. She said, who is he? I said, it's Harry Styles.

What did she say? She said, he's fucking not Harry Styles. And I thought, oh. Oh. Oh. I mean, I can't imagine Harry Styles would have been at the... This bloke had definitely had a go... Totoro.

He'd work, you know, he'd help. Was he an actor? I don't know who he was. He thought he was Harry Styles. I did think he was Harry Styles, but anyway, it wasn't him. You see, because you missed that opportunity, that's going to, the rest of your life, you're going to be the ancient mariner with your tale to tell. You're going to be going around to curly haired attractive men saying hello, having to be all nice to them in case it's

Styles. Erm, what you're suggesting that he don't live me? I'm just saying Frank. Well look, I like Harry Styles. I don't know him but I don't mind his work. He's a very positive role model for the young men as well. He's very handsome. He dresses extravagantly which I like.

Maybe that's why he was giving you the nod. As positive male role models go, I'd say he's up there with Jamie Lang currently. Yes. Which is a good thing. Jamie Lang, in case anyone isn't aware. Yeah, who wouldn't be aware of that? Who is he? I mean maybe somebody who knows who Harry Styles was Styles was. He did Ultramarathons. Yeah, but everybody does that now. I'm really sick of those. Oh Frank, don't put people down. But there was a time when, but now I think somebody else is nearly killing themselves for comic release. Spoil things. You know, respect, but...

Oh yeah, it really sounds like loads of respect. There's a thing that people used to shout at West Bromwich Albion Games, if, sit down, we've seen you. And it's a bit like that, we've seen you now, sit down. Do you not like it when people like swim and run for charity? Look, I respect it, but it's not exciting anymore, is he? You know what I mean? It's the Chilean minors. When the first two came out, it was thrilling. But the third one, yeah, what else is he? You know what I mean? It's the Chilean minus. When the first two came

out it was brilliant, but the third one, what else is on? Well you say that, but I had feelings for six as we all know. Six of the Chilean minus? No, number six. Oh that was the, oh I don't know. I didn't get that far. I was watching Scooby-Doo by then. By the way we haven't asked Zoe what she's been up to. We don't know what's going on in The Lion's Lodge. I haven't finished my story yet. You're a con to Zoe. Don't think you can walk on here and just...

What about my story? I was at my neighbour to Toro. Oh yes, you were, sorry. Who else was there? And this was the real guy. Andrew Lloyd Webber was in the audience. Oh, okay. So, is this all right? I took a sneaky picture of him. Did you? Yeah. And you know, like a real, the way people do. The thing is with it, is I've had dinner at his house. Yeah, why would you?

I wrote a song with him once, and now this is how all the mighty have fallen. And now I'm taking a secret picture of him. Sorry Frank, why did you do that? Because I wouldn't be confident now to walk up to Andrew Lloyd Webber that he would know who I was. Why is your confidence falling like this? I don't think it's... I'm just... I've just remembered something else actually. Why would you want a photo? I'll tell you in a bit. Why would I want a photo of him? Because I can say to people, look it was at the My Neighbour Totoro.

That's quite a weird thing to boast about. I've deleted my Harry Styles photos. The thing is Frank, I think you're reducing yourself and you don't need to do that. You're a very celebrated, talented, successful man and I don't like to see you lowering yourself to sneaking photos. From row O. Did you have to zoom in? Were you zooming in on the... That's what I was gifted. Row O. Do you remember the days when you used to get D? Oh, D. Central D. Who do you think was in D this time around at Totoro?

Bradley and Barney. Barney Walsh. I'd say Todd Rundgren. But I would leave, he's still alive. Yeah. Frank, I just, I don't think you need to take photos of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Well, I did it. I did it. But what are you going to do with the pictures?

I'm going to put it on social media to show how pathetic I am. I watch reality television, I mean how twisted is that? Celebrities sitting at home watching ordinary people on the television, what's happened to the world? I'm just looking out the window. But I can give you an example, someone you've met briefly and maybe don't see so much of anymore. I assume, who's someone, Mark Lamar. If you suddenly saw him taking a picture of you, would you think that was a bit odd? No, I think I was dead. I think he was with, I don't know, some secret organization. Maybe Dark Sphere. Anyway, so it's kind of, I don't know if you've seen the stage version of My Neighbour to Tariq. No. I can't think of any film television programme that wouldn't be improved if everyone was

replaced by Poppets. No, I'm going to have to admit I don't even know what the play is about. Okay, well do you know, are you familiar with Studio? Gili. Oh, is it Gili? It's Gili. Is it Ghibli? Is it Ghibli? Studio Ghibli? You've heard of Studio Ghibli? That's a made-up thing. No? Studio Ghibli? It's a Japanese. Did they do Spirited Away, Faye? They did do Spiritor. Oh, okay. But I thought that was where they went

wrong. Controversial opinion. The reason I got into them originally was Jonathan Ross used to send me like pirate VHS's of studio. That's why I'm so familiar with them. And I actually own a wind-up Tartaro which someone bought me a long time ago. Tartaro is this big giant creature that lives near to this house in the thing. Okay. It's what, I tell you what, it's, I believe what they call magical. Okie dokie. Which always worries me.

I like magic, but magical I think is going to make me vomit. So the play version of this, is it puppets or is it people? There are massive puppets. Right. So you know, you know when you get people who are all in black with stick Yeah And then you got to try and sort of trick your brain to not see the people in dressed in black well It's hard. I might see yeah, but there's some incredible. It's a brilliant

It's an astonishing thing to say did Andrew Lloyd Webber like it well. It's his theatre I was gonna add to like it well you could's his theatre, so probably had to like it. Well you could always look back at your photo and see if you're smiling. Yeah I'll have a look. How many did you take Fang? I took two. Two? It's so weird, it's one of the weirdest things you've ever done. Well stick around, because just... Oh yeah, what? Oh my god! Why did you take that photo? It's a terrible photo! He's on the moon!

It's a terrible photo! It's Andrew Lloyd Webber! No, but it's because... I didn't put a beauty filter on it! From that photo it looks like you're being... It's like the point of view of someone who's being asked to leave. Yes! No!

It's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done. Okay. Well anyway, on the way home, me and my child, after my neighbour Totoro, we, Totoro, Totoro, nearly did the accent but I think I got away with it, we passed the Theatre Royal Drury Lane. There's a lot of people outside. Why? Well, because Tom Hiddleston hadn't left the theatre yet. Out comes the phone! Oh no, you did it! What is happening to you? I've given up on celebrity. I've decided the other man's grass is always greener. That's a terrible phone. Wow. I've got better ones. That's a terrible face.

I've got better ones, I've got better ones, don't judge me. Frank. I mean, obviously I've got a really good one. You're literally just going out taking pictures of celebrities. Well, somebody's head's in the way. That's not in the way. That's him. Oh, okay. You know what?

You know Loki, don't you? It's very... Just so you know guys, we'll put the... It's very far away. Well, what do you think I'm gonna do? Stand on the pavement outside the stage door? Well, essentially what you did do, but Tom Hiddleston is wearing a puffer jacket and looks very uncomfortable and harassed. Well, there's a big queue of people waiting for his autograph. Yeah, like you. I didn't join that queue. No you just took weird surveillance pictures. I admired him from afar. Oh my god Frank was that in the same week? Same night. Wow. That was on the way back from Totoro. I saw, we passed that

theatre so I did some more. Why do you think you're being like this now? I think I've just accepted the celebrity thing as... as like a bit of stale tea in the bottom of a mug. And so I'm drinking from other people's receptacles. Where would you draw the line? Who wouldn't you take a photo of? So like you live near David Baddiel. Would you take a photo of him? Well I have taken photos of David Baddiel. But not take a photo of him? Well I have taken photos of David Baddiel. But not surreptitiously? No.

No? No. No, I mean I can always go around and he'll give me a sign that by 12. Yeah. Oh, but it was... Oh God. What about this? The next night... Oh.

I went to...actually it was two nights nights later I went to Inside Number 9 Oh I've been to that. I stayed frightened. Was it good? I've been. Yeah were you frightened? I don't get frightened by things like that but I loved it. I don't like a jump scare. No I don't like a jump scare. Who did you get as your celebrity? Well I'll tell you because we went out to I'll tell you, don't you mean you'll show me? Who your camera out. Who did you get? You took a picture of them. No, I didn't take a picture. You're in the street. And do you know what? I've regretted that ever since.

Why bring it up? I got... Because we should explain what it is, Frank, that there's a special guest they get every night in Inside Number 9. Or every week, I think, they might do it for a few nights. No, every night. Oh, is every night a different one?

And you don't know who you're going to get until you come on in the dressing gown. I got David Morrissey. Or every week I think they might do it for a few nights. No, every night. Oh, is it every night? A different one. And you don't know who you're going to get until you come on in the dressing gown. I got David Morrissey. Very good. Oh, I was quite pleased with that, Frank. Yeah, that's high. I was worried it was going to be in an ex-appline or something. I'll have to walk out.

They said Morrissey did it last week and I went, oh man, I'd like to have seen that. And then when I'm reacting and then I realised it was David Morrissey who I also really liked. He was great. If it had been Morrissey. Who did you get? Well I'll tell you because after... The camera came out. Get out the old box brownie. We went for drinks. Oh yes we went to those drinks. So this, I sat at a, you know I am something of a lover of Doctor Who. Yes. I sat at a table, you know I am something of a lover of Doctor Who. Yes. I sat at a table that dripped Doctor Who. There was me, who's been in Doctor Who. Okay.

There was Frances Barber. Oh, Fanny Love. Doctor Who. Derek Jacoby. Wow. The master in Doctor Who. His husband Richard Clifford who's done loads of the audio dramas. And was Steve or Rhys ever in Doctor Who. His husband Richard Clifford who's done loads of the audio dramas. And was Steve or Reese ever in Doctor Who?

Steve and Reese were both in Doctor Who. They were there. And the special guest that night was Simon Pegg who's also been. Oh, can I say? It was a dense Doctor Who table. That was a good collection. Pegg is a good night. Yeah. And you know, I left and I didn't put any money in for the

drinks I realised. Oh no, that's so embarrassing. Yeah, my Jacobi, I didn't see him, I didn't see any of his money came out, he went before me and he had red wine, I had water. Of course Jacobi had red wine. Of course he did. What are you talking about? Of course he did. What else is he going to order? had red wine. Of course he did. What are you talking about? What else is he going to order? Everyone knows that. So I imagine that Reese Shearsmith now and Steve Pemberton hate us all for leaving them with the bill. Did you just dash it? But then you don't drink in fairness. I know but I had two glasses of water. Did anyone else have the Jacobean red wine? Yeah but I don't want a name name. Oh I think we can work it out. How's Peg? I like Peg. No he's a very nice guy. I like him Frank. Every time he's mentioned on anything, Kath will always say Cheltenham. Why Cheltenham? I think he's from

Cheltenham. Oh is that it? Kath gets very proud doesn't she? I would say almost obsessed with anyone who comes from Cheltenham. Oh, is that it? She loves that. She gets very proud, doesn't she? I would say almost obsessed with anyone who comes from Cheltenham and has made anything of it. Is she from Cheltenham? Is that right? Yeah. Well, she grew up in Cheltenham. I was frightened, though.

Were you? There was, even when I went to the toilet in the interval, I thought, what if they've gone interactive? Oh, you're so silly. No, but if I made a scary play, I would have people sitting in the auditorium and go, woo, and grab people by the shoulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I suppose they might die.

Yeah. It's always an insurance problem isn't it? It is. But when I saw Paul McKenna's show I was in the bar in the interval, a man came in and went, bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop interval a man came in and went and he was a man who he told him to become a chicken in the interval. You probably guessed what he told him to be. And he come into the bar just walking about the theatre. He broke the fourth wall of his pen. Oh God that's a nightmare scenario. It was. I didn't like that. So I didn't want anything ghostly anymore.

He didn't have a little trail of plop plops, did he? No. I don't recall the trail of plop plops. So you found it frightening. You didn't. But I'm not good. It's not that I don't. It's just that I get very scared.

Yeah. I don't. I enjoy things like that, but I don't find, I've never found that kind of thing scary on the stage. I think I can never ever come out of the fact that there are actors on the stage I can't lose myself to that degree with scary things. I remember years and years ago seeing the woman in black. Oh God I saw the original of that Birmingham rep and I remember there's this was one moment in that. Bit, which is in the rocking chair. Yeah, the whole audience collectively, I think, sharted.

It was, yeah, yeah. A collective shout out. See, what I do, I go to bed that night and then I lie in bed, I open my eyes and I know that's my jacket hanging on the door, but it looks like a hovering specter and I'm too frightened to get out and rehang. Well don't bring specter into this, we're all terrified. If he was in the bedroom I would be afraid. I have to sleep with a light on if I'm on my own in the house. Do you? Yeah, yeah. I have in the past bought a little plug-in toddler's...

Oh, a night light? Yeah. Okay. Does it have like moving cosmos on the scene? No. The Egyptian cosmos. The Egyptian cosmos. The Egyptian cosmos go nightlight. I mean it could be the next George Foreman's grilling machine. Oh George Foreman. I think we lost him recently. He died last week. Can I tell you one story? Please do. We never got round to what Zoe's been up to. But she'll be back for goodness sake.

There's someone who's with Zoe. She's been on the radio show with us so much. I don't think of her as a guest. Well that's... It's like having a happily-member. Yeah, one of the team. Which is a compliment. Tired with an apology. But you haven't tried to take my photo so... No, that's a bad sign. As I leave, I'll turn round and you'll just have your camera out and I'm like, that's

so weird. The question is what if you turn round and I don't have my camera out. Yeah, that seems more hurtful. That is bad. Yeah. So what was I just about to... You were just saying... George Foreman.

George Foreman. Yeah, I was... He lost him recently. I was staying at the Beverly Wilshire, which is a quite... Used to be quite a posh hotel. Oh, a pretty woman. And they've got street rules there. So I was at...

I remember at the Carvery there and there was... Sorry, did you say posh hotel with a Carvery? Well, there was a Carvery. I'm sorry. I know. I'll have all the meats. This was the 90s. It was a carvery! I'll have all the meats! This was the 90s! It was a tall bean!

Can I have pork, chicken, lamb and beef please? You know weirdly the Americans, they do quite like a carvery. It's quite an American. Yes well Cathy, the woman from Misery. Oh Cathy Bates. Cathy Bates and Danny DeVito were standing with her plate. It was a fever dream. No, it was that kind of place. And we were told when you sign in, there's a big sign that says do not approach any celebrities. Oh, and then comes Frank, so I didn't talk to them, those two. But I was in the

foyer, I'd just left the local bar, the frying pan and George Foreman came in and I thought fuck it, I'm talking to George, even if they throw me out. So I went over and I said, George I'm not even allowed to speak to you because you can't approach celebrities here. And he said, well don't worry about that. And I said, it's really exciting. And he shook my hand, his fingers were like, he had the biggest hand. It was like shaking hands with the thing from Fantastic Four. And he was really nice and chatty. And then I interviewed him years later. He was a great bloke, great fighter. And sadly remembered for the fight he lost. Not for all the ones he won.

Was it the Rumble and the Jungle? It's like if I was just remembered for the Brits. Now you're going to be remembered as that weirdo who takes pictures of celebrities. Well I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm gonna put them on the... I'm gonna put them on our thingy though. What do we call it? Social media. It's not social media is it? It is social media Frank. I thought there was a thing that was a line to the actual podcast that we put them on. Like a website? Not a website. Just tell them anything or we'll leave you.

CD-ROM! You're going to put them on your floppy? At my age I don't have much choice. Anyway, so yeah, it was good, My Neigh neighbor Totoro and Inside Number 9 was frightening. They were my reviews for the week. Funny, but it's hard for me to laugh when I'm really frightened. Do you find that? That's what Tom Hiddleston said when he saw you coming out of the corner.

We're going to the, me and Buzz are going to Mochadu soon, so... Good luck everyone. I might get a second bite of the cherry, you know what I'm saying? We missed Hayley Atwell, so we'll have to get out a bit earlier this time. It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio It's the Frank Skinner podcast don't you know. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com