The Frank Skinner Show - Speakerphone Etiquette

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

Frank and Em are joined by Ruth Husko. Frank’s been upgrading his tuna sandwiches, there’s a theory about cocktail umbrellas, and the team discuss speakerphone etiquette. If you want to message the show email us on [e-mail] or Whatsapp us on 07457 417 769 We’re currently sponsored by BT - behind brilliant things! Search ‘Why BT’ to find out more or click on the following link: https://www.bt.com/broadband/why-bt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Nan. Man. Anyway. I don't know how I feel about that. Or as we say nine. I've just had the second half of a tuna and sweet corn-corn. How was it? It was frustrating.

Why? Because I had one. I was doing a gig the other night and I had one on my rider. A rider being, I don't mean I ate one off the back of a let's eat, whatever it's called. Is that what it called, let's eat? Just eat. Let's eat would be nice. So would Nick's that's suggesting he's going to join you.

David Bowie, a follow-up single. Yeah. Let's eat. open your sandwich So I opened my sandwich And I placed olives Pitted olives on it Oh you're so mad at train

Honestly If anyone That's like a Tunei Niswai I know but it was absolutely fantastic Was it? And I got as many as I could On the raft So to speak

It's like I was rescuing people Let me get this right The olives were inside the sandwich So I took the top off the tuna sweet corn sandwich and I slightly pressed the olives into the the give in the tuna

you know what I mean like I was putting Smarties on a gingerbread man I get you or like sticking sequins on a gingerbread man I know I know it's confectionery so yeah it was the best sandwich I've ever had in my life

if anyone you should try it's brilliant and I really I got as many on it so when I ate that sandwich and it hadn't got the olives Oh it feels a letdown You've been spoiled now for you have Yeah I have it was It was like when Robbie left take that

That's what that sandwich was like So that was Do you eat well when you're on tour may ask Well Does omar god buy you food Well we sometimes we just stop off And I get stuff. Sometimes he gets

in advance. He's got a cold bag. Okay. But we don't mention it. I love that he has a cold bag. Speaking of the cold, we've had a burst of hot weather. I was talking to Sandy, the producer before. She was telling me that the reason, this might be something that people come. Is that someone looking through our window?

I tell you exactly what happened, Frank. The owner of Spiritland, the actual owner just walked over and peered in as if to say, what's going on here then? We have paid for this session. We've not only paid for the session. We've not only paid, we've been coming here every week for the best part of two years. What's happened?

It feels like someone's turned up and said, look, you know, I need to do a, like Nick Ferrari. He's outside saying, I need to do a podcast. I need to do it now. And he said, I think, well, it's difficult. Someone in there. Never mind that. Get that bloody podcast on.

But, you know, these people, they're, their money. That's what I think is going on outside as we speak. I'm sorry. Nick is a little more intimidating. Yeah. You understand. Exactly. I can imagine him. Oh God. Oh God, I think I just saw a table go over. Is that his real name? Nick Ferraro?

Nick Ferraris, yes. I used to work with his wife, yeah. And he will be feeling... No, he used to be the gang leader of a bunch of car thieves. And that was one of his regular instructions. Very fine.

His veins will be throbbing in this hot weather. Oh. Oh, poor Nick. Yeah. They're throbbing now. He's fucking furious out in Spiritland. Anyway, I do apologise for that interruption. I think we've been left in peace now.

Anyway, continue. It's all right. It's just a weird thing. Someone's a bit in at your window like that. Well, especially the proprietor. And he did that thing when people look in a, this is me looking kind of way. He came at a slight angle.

Like it was a bunch of duty show. He did a bit of theatrics. You know, Frank, recently you were talking about. No, but he could have walked past her and just had a casual look. Do you know what I think? I wouldn't have even noticed here. He suddenly appeared like Hartley Hair. It was like the script thread looks through windows.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Then the director says, um, Luigi, can you just take it? Louis. Is that his name? No, because no one's been called us since 1974. Luigi. This is a mastery scenario.

So next time, just give it a bit less on the, look in. Just try and make it. Yeah. I know you went to Rada, but, you know, we're in TV now. We're in TV. You've got to take it down a bit. Yeah. So.

You look like, you know, at a DW Griffith's movie, like fear. Anyway, Frank, back to you. So Sandy was saying that when you have, you know when you have like this weather, you have a cocktail and stuff and you have a parasol. You do. Yes. I don't. I have a mocktail. I've had some lovely mocktails, Frank. Anyway.

I'm never 100 that they haven't got alcohol in. Do you know what I mean? It's because you're inherently deeply suspicious. It's because I'll, well, now I'm frightened of waking up on waste ground shouting. I used to be on television. I understand. Again. So this is Sandy's...

I might say this, you might say, you might say, everybody knows that what you're talking about, that the parasol is in the cocktail to keep the ice

in shade to stop it from melting too quickly. I didn't know that, Ruth. That's going to be... That's adorable. That actually makes me

love the parasol. Yeah. That's going to become a big mo, that is. Do you think so? Yeah. Well, I just feel like that people know that and we've been kept in the dark, so to speak.

Yeah, I'm wondering about that. If it's a thing that most people know. Do you think it's just us? Well, our listeners will tell us. Well, next time you go for sundowners. I used to work at the college and on a Friday we used to go for sundowners after work. What's in a sundowner?

No, it is. The sundowners means having a drink while. The son goes down. I got the idea from... Oh. I got the idea from... I can't remember the name. Carrie.

Gary Cooper in high news. No. I was thinking of... Well, I'll tell you what I was going to say. I feel that that really you can age someone according to their cocktail, the cocktail of choice. Or the cocktail they'll reference. Yeah.

Like sex on the beach. They're going to be all. 45. 100%. And in my case, my era, you know what I am? I'm peak cosmopolitan. Oh, of course. Because of sex in the city, Frank. SOTC. That's where they all drunk. Yeah. What was yours, Ruth, would you say? I'd say, well, I'd say my generation, and I've never had one, would have been porn star

martini. Yes, your porn. But they can't call it that anymore. Can they not? Can they not? You either see it with a P, asterix N-star Martini. Or they call it, what do they call it Sex worker or something. Only fans. They might only fans. No, it's something like a, it'll be like movie star, something like that, Martini.

Yeah, but that could be Nick Nolty. That's not glam. She's not a movie star. It's something like, yeah. You're thinking of Nick Noles. It's something like that. Texting, if you know what it is. Yeah.

I didn't know there was one called porn star. Yeah, and you have a little, it's like. Oh, don't tell me the details. Actually, do you know what I've just realized? There's no cream element, is there? No, there's not. But you have a shock. it worse than it is.

You have a shot of something. Do you? Well, I've never had one, but Prosecco, you have a Prosecco, you have a Prosecco. Oh, no. Oh, disgusting. Yeah, but I mean...

Is that disgusting? Yeah, I don't know. Could be worse, like Frank said. I don't like anything golden in that area. Do you know what I mean? Oh, that's what it represents. I know what these people are like. Oh, they've gone. They've gone niche.

Very quick. I mean, let's establish the drink before we go. for a development. If you wanted with Brisek, go on. Frank, what cocktail summed up your era would you say in cocktail bars? I would probably say

a lager and lime. Or rum and pep we used to have. What's pep? Pepper mint cordial. What? I thought Pepsi. No, Rom and Pep was yeah, rom with...

I used to drink them actually. If I had a hangover and I couldn't breathe, I used to get them because you get drunk quicker. Frank, what was the thing? Then I could breathe enough to swallow pints. I met someone at university and I think he was from your part of the world. Something in black he used to order. Roman black. Oh, what's that?

That was Roman black corin. Oh, okay. Was that one of your cocktails? I didn't like that as much as Rom and Pep. Rob and Pep. I used to have a pint of mild and put a barley wine in it. Oh, have you ever had that? No, it seems horrible.

I don't know what it is. Very sickly sweet barley wine, but man, it was strong. I used to drink snakebite and black. What's that? So that's cider and laager and blackcurrant, yeah. And it's been banned now, apparently, didn't they? Oh, they've all been banned for one reason or another. Right, Nigel Farron.

They're banning bloody everything now. Yeah, you can't get a bloody rum and pep! I will be campaigning to bring back rum and reman pep. That's it. That's in their manifest. I bet if you called Nigel Farage and told him that, that would go straight to the top. The thing is,

when he finishes a rum and pep, you just know he'll put the cigarette out of the glass. What? Can I ask a question? You'd be good on details like this. Go on. I know he smokes. What brand do you think?

you smokes. I'm interested to know. What, cigar? Yeah. Oh, no, cigarette you smokes. Oh, what, how does he smoke? See, I had him down as a cigar bloke. I think he's a Rothman's man. I think he's a Lambert and bottle. Anyway, let's smoke apart.

We can't just be rattling off this. I'll just talk about Nigel. I want to ask you both about something that has been bothering me this week. And that is the etiquette of being put on the speakerphone. it's increasingly becoming a thing now. I don't know if you've experienced this,

that you'll call someone and your voice sounds slightly disembodied. And it turns out you've been put on speakerphone. Fine. Frank called me the other day. I put him on speakerphone, if you must know, I was doing my tone. I wouldn't know, though. Yeah, that's what I mean.

But I live alone, so I think it's... I couldn't even hear clicking. Raised joints are a bit better now. Okay. But I think that's ethically, I feel comfortable with that because I live alone. So the only person who's hearing you's Ray.

But how would I know if you'd put me on speaker? Well, this is the problem, Whitney Houston. You wouldn't. No. And this is my issue. Because people have dispensed with the... Can you see that metal aureole clamp from here? Have I had a wardrobe malfunction?

It's aureole. Is that how you say it? It's ariola. I don't like saying it, Frank. No, okay. I won't say it. I'm fine with Ruth saying it. I'd really rather you steer away.

You couldn't see it. That was under the clamp. Yeah, I'd just feel more comfortable with you not saying it. Okay? Under the clamp was the books you wrote about that wardrobe malfunction. Oh, God. So my point is that people seem to be, I'm noticing this. I don't know about you, but I'm noticing this increasingly.

People in the street. Everyone's on speakerphone. Those people don't know they're on speakerphone, just as you've proved, Frank Skinner. I was in Uniclo, only metres from here the other day. And there was a woman trying something on and she'd propped her phone up on the shelf, some sort of business conference.

Oh, wow. And she had the other caller on speakerphone. Were they on FaceTime? Because I've seen people walking down to the street. They weren't FaceTime. I don't mind FaceTime because there's consent there. You know you're on FaceTime, but she just had the speaker function. I saw that singer who wears the very allowance.

elaborate outfits nowadays. Hmm. Who is non-binary. Olly Alexander? Oh, Sam Smith? Sam Smith. Oh, did you? I saw him.

Oh, no, I didn't see him. Shit. I saw them walking through Hampstead going, yeah, well, I am talking to someone on FaceTime. I'm really like, and I could hear them going, yeah, well, what will do, Sam? I thought, wow. Is that like a conference call?

This is what I find inappropriate. This woman in Uniclo, I mean, it's no Sam Smith. But still, I could hear the person, and you're absolutely right about the FaceTime. FaceTime's fine. We all know there's consent on both parties there. Well, not necessarily. Well, no, but you know you're on FaceTime, you can see it. But why do you need...

The speakerphone, Frank, you don't know if you've been put on it. That's my point. And I heard this woman, and she was sort of talking quite loudly saying, well, you need to tell him. I would absolutely tell him. And it was kind of relationship-y. I thought I'm like a juror at this man's trial. I don't want to...

Judge Judy. Judge John Deed? Yeah. I would have been a good judge, I think. Oh, yeah. Take no prisoners me. Oh, yeah. But anyway, I'm having it a lot.

Judge ye not. For as you judge. No, I like to judge a lot. So, carry on. So she carried me. A lot is what I've changed that to. I found it happening with friends a lot. They'll be talking to me.

And I have to point out, Kath rarely does this. A lot of the time, friends will be chatting to me. And I'll have a little moan about the husband, or the other half. Nothing serious, but oh, it really annoyed me when he did this. And then Kath doesn't do this, partly because she's too busy sort of Googling what someone we knew in 1994 is doing now. But I do have friends that do this, Frank, and they don't tell me, I suddenly hear the husbands. I'm supporting them, being their cheerleader, saying, oh, it's terrible.

Yeah, I think it's awful he does that. And then I hear the voice. So they're on the line? No, I'm on speakerphone. The husband can him. He's walked into the room. Now that is off. Do you not agree?

You see, I've got a friend. Well, it's not exactly right. But if ever they're slagging anyone off, they always check their phone. Oh, yeah. I've got a friend who does that. I always put it on flight mode if I'm gossiping. Do you?

You actually can put it on gossip mode. Oh, yeah. I'm going to do that. Let's call it spite mode. Well, that's fantastic. No, it's not necessarily spite. It's not. What could the little emoji for it me?

A little bit of gossip. Because I was talking to a friend, I'm glad you brought this speakerphone thing up. I was talking to a mate. We were having a little gossipy chat about various things. I've been talking to him for an hour. And I heard his girlfriend's voice. He said, oh, you're on speakerphone.

Yes. I mean, I hadn't, it was, we were just. talking about, you know, it's like when people are. If people call me in the car, when you're automatically on speakerphone, because it comes through your luteu. I think you're on. I always say, my family is here. You're always born. You've called me before. You are live. Live. Do not swear. Well, I ended up saying to my friend recently, she was saying, well, he's making me go to this event. I don't want to go. He said, oh, well, you know, don't go. She said, he says it'll be really good for me for work. So I'm trying to support her. I don't give a damn either way. You're saying,

Leave him. No, all I said to try and sort of like smooth this over, I said, well, if he's so keen, why doesn't he go? And I suddenly hear plot twist a male voice saying, well, the reason I can't go. Oh, no, that's true. It was like a sting operation. I was on the, the overground coming back from a gig.

I did a gig in one of your own? That's not. No, my own. So obviously I was shaken. I sit on and I go through the gig and notes on it on the train. So this bloke got on. I thought, what the fuck's happened? It was this really loud voice.

I mean, the loudest clear, so clear. And I thought, what is? I thought it was an announcement on the train. But I thought I've never heard a train announcement this clear before. What is he saying? This guy who got a phone. It was coming from his phone, but it was, I mean, there was an whole couple who probably hadn't heard anything that loud and clear for 15 years, looking at him in the maze one,

he got a spliff in his mouth, which I think was on lip. I couldn't, but there's a strong, I mean, it's already breaking several laws. This is part of modern life now, is the smell of gear, as my wife calls it. Everywhere you go now, I don't know if it's, I can smell my wife. all the time. Yeah, everybody. The whole world's on it. So he had this in his mouth and then he had, there was this bloke talk

but honestly, I don't, because I was looking for additional speakers on him, you know, if he got somebody like a one man band, if he got someone on his back. But it seemed to be just coming from the phone. It was, I cannot exaggerate out loud. It was so loud.

It was like the voice of God. And it was an American, it sounded actually like a religious American person. Very, very loud. And I thought, oh, maybe he's spreading the word, except that he's smoking a joint at the same time. And this bloke in the thing that was coming out loud said,

and I saw this, it was just a little comic book. You wouldn't even notice it. It had a cat on the cover. A cat called Garfield. And I thought, well, this is either a religious person. or a politician. They're speaking of Garfields, if it's some amazing discovery

that you won't have heard of, right? So I thought this must be leading towards some sort of religious point. You know the sort of a... I had an hard-boiled egg this morning. Many ways, we're all like that hard-boil. It does. It feels like a ramp to a favour.

But it was so low. The blow has still got the joint in his mouth. Also, I noticed he hadn't got an heart. which always puts me off. What do you mean? Oh, I know. You mean it just... You know those men?

They hang straight at the man. Oh, yeah. The jeans at the bat were like unhampered by flesh. They just hung down like a curtain. I know exactly what you mean. They look a bit like the Keep Britain Tidy Man. Do you know what I mean? The white outline.

I can't picture him. No, the white outline of a man for Keep Britain Tidy. They had no flesh. I always sick there of people with no solid. foundations. What, as human beings? Yeah. So he had no ass, a joint,

and the loudest clear is foul in the world, this bloat was just getting onto what was in the comic with Garfield. When it went, I thought, the old people thought, obviously the pacemaker had gone. And it was somebody calling him in the middle of it. So he went off then on to, you know, normal thing. And he was saying, yeah, yeah, hey, what's happening?

And I thought, you tell me, mate. Yeah. You tell me. And then a woman said, can I have a selfie? And I thought, what was she collecting, like, train freaks? Is it like London eccentric? But she was talking to me. I realized, and I thought, oh, God, it's all right.

I want to draw attention why this bloke's knocking about. But luckily mine was. the next stop. But what had he done to his phone to make it that loud and clear? You mean to make it that? So it sounded almost like stereo sound, it sounds like. It sounded like, it sounded like this.

So I went into this comic book shop. It was like someone had come on and started doing that. Are you sure he wasn't just a Royal Shakespeare Company actor? If he was, he was, he was, He was definitely playing one of the mechanicals.

Yeah. I've heard people watching, they're like TikTok sermons and things. Really? YouTube sermons, yeah, but I don't know why they're so loud. Well, perhaps he was trying to spread the word. Yeah, maybe. But then why would he have a phone call in the middle of it? Well, why would he have a spliff?

It's a reasonable question. I don't know. Some of the smaller religions. He didn't look raster far as to fair, and at all. Did he not? What happened? So when you got off, was he aware? I don't know if he was aware of anything really.

He was easy to get past the course because he had no off. So I was able to go past him without having him feeling a damn thing. I like that in the midst of all this chaos, you still took the trouble to notice that he had no ass. Well, he was standing with his back to me. I mean, just as well, really. He's not a bloke. Was it a slight fashion thing?

You know when they have them hanging down? No. He was so low. I know. But he couldn't have done that. Because nothing would have kept them up. No, he'd have had to have had scaffolding if you wore a mark. That's right, because usually the ass is, you know, the belt is being held up by the ass, isn't it?

I prefer that to, I just prefer that to an overly feminine male bomb, I'll be honest. Well, you've talked about Michael Gove before. He's got, yeah. I don't like a Kim Kardashian on a man. It's just the way I am, I'm sorry. You know what they say? As a Mike Martin used to say, I need a big arm. Motenock a big nailing.

I hope I don't meet that friend. I wish him well. Yeah. Anyway, I'm still confused, but I'm envious of this guy's phone. So the speaker sounded phenomenal. It sounded like he had like, you know those massive speakers

they hang from the ceiling? Like surround sound on his phone. Like you had that on his bat like some sort of tortoise. And did he have a backpack or anything with him? He was just him and he... Maybe he had a speaker with him, Ruth. It was disguised somewhere. He had a backpack.

Nothing grows in the shade out there. That's why he had no ass. No, he didn't have a backpack. In those situations, Frank, if he was disturbing you, would you ever go over and say, excuse me, could you turn it down? Well, I thought it was funny at first. And also generally people with no ass, that they're not, you know, muscular people.

Yeah. It's extraordinary generalisation. Exactly. You mean they're not robust people? Well, I mean, if it came to a fight, he didn't look like somebody where you thought I'd have no chance. I wasn't going to fight him. He was also, you know, it seemed like he was about to spread the word of the Nazarene.

Sorry, I wasn't going to fight him. I shouldn't hope not. You're a millionaire who lives in Hampstead. I wasn't going to fight him. Yeah. Well, the trouble is, you know, what's he going to land on if you knock him over. Imagine if Kath was there. You're back late.

I'd just been in a fight. I'd be terrible. His spine would go into the floor of the tray. I'd have to be left there as a regular, like those things you have at the seaside who laugh when you put ten pens in. Oh, I don't like those. No.

I tell you what's very unflattering. I had this recently. It was a friend's wedding in Ramsgate, is it? Margate? One of these places. Two different places. Oh, I don't know. Things.

Don't make me remember. It's something where. there's a dreamland, Margate. Margotte. And they had one of those old pose in these I don't know, I'm amazed they still allow them. It's sort of bigger people, I'm going to call it, in swimsuits.

You know those cartoons and you put your face in it? Most unflattering thing I've ever done. Even Adam Kay's husband, James, who's the kindest loveliest man. We looked at all the wedding photos going up, he went, it's not good of you. He's the nicest man in the world.

Even James, he warned me. He went, It's not good. It's not good. And I was just going to have a look. He said, I wouldn't. I really wouldn't look at it. It's never occurred to me that they are an element of fat shame in that. I guess they are.

Would you say, Ruth? Where would you put fairground mirrors in this? Yeah. Because there's all sorts of categories, depending on where you stand. Yeah. Well, I just go straight for the thin one and I don't leave. Yeah.

Just stay there for an hour. Do you think they're offensive, Ruth? I don't know. But you can get other ones like mermaids and stuff. that you put your face in, can't you? Oh, I haven't put me face in a mermaid for years. Oh, here we go. Sorry about that.

Oh, here we go. I love mermaids. They are the mythical creature that I think is most likely to exist. I love mermaids. Yeah, I do. What do you mean? If I see a statue of a mermaid or something, I'll always take a photo. What do you like about them specifically?

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that. You don't know. I love. I love, do you remember there used to be a joke which doesn't work? It didn't really. It was my favourite joke and then it didn't work after decimalisation. Well, OK, brace yourself. This joke hasn't worked since decimalisation.

Brace yourself, ladies. It's respectable, honestly. But the joke was, I went out with a mermaid once. Fantastic figure. 3624 and 3 and 6 a pound. Come on, it's a good joke. It is, but couldn't you update it for modern currency? I've tried.

Is it not as funny? If you make it, no, it doesn't work. The thing is, at the time, Miss World was quite a big deal. And nearly every competitor, what they used to call their vital statistics, was nearly always 36, 24, 36. You're right. It had so much, it was so dependent on time. Yes, I see that.

Oh, well. But, you know, I'm glad you still have a fondness. So do you like The Little Mermaid? Did you watch that with Buzz ever? I don't. I have seen that. Yeah. Okay.

Under this. Yeah. But I went to an exhibition in Dollyge by a Scandinavian painter. And he did loads of paintings of mermaids, but they all looked like really, like rough, dangerous. Just slit your fucking throat mermaid. Oh, well, they sort of prisoner cell blockage mummies. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, you know, they're sort of leaning on rocks and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, you try it, mate. Yeah. I'd never seen that. Those kind of. They were the proper protectors of the sea. They've been sexualised over time. To the shell bra. They love a shell bra.

No, these women did not have a shell bra. I don't like a shell bra. I think it's a charm. Do you like it? These ones were completely topless. Have you ever worn one? A shell bra? No.

No, no, me. Sorry, Frank. That was a bit rude. You can't include. I might have worn a coconut bra in a Hawaiian thing. Oh, did you wear the Hawaiian? Yes. Oh, yeah, the grass skirt and the coconut.

Frank was always, friends of mine were very keen on fancy dress, and Frank was always one of the best. No, this was a sketch, I think. Oh, was it? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Those were the, were they? So, have we heard from the outside world?

We have. Actually, can I just say I took it, I took, when we went to see FCA Twinks, which I talked about on the show. Yes. There is a mermaid. There's a mermaid at the O2. Is there really?

I'm showing it to... Oh yeah, not a shell braring site. Look at that. He's taking a photo. Yeah, lovely. That's Frank's equivalent of only fans. Mermaid content. Yeah, it's what I like.

Bronze. A bit of bronze. He likes statues mainly. I've got photos of... I did Copenhagen on tour, so I got that mermaid as well. All right. Christian Anderson. Yeah.

I love that. Did you see you, by the way? I like my women with a bit of bird shit on them. Something different. Exactly. Talking about... Some different. I am past that.

Talking about your pal twigs. I thought, did you see Harry the Stiles lad? Because Franks are the fans, did you see that, Ruth? What did you mean? Jogged. To, it said, from his home in Hampstead. There were videos of him. Oh, yeah, he ran to Wemble.

To Wemble. And it took him two hours. I loved him for that. I don't know why. And then straight on stage? Straight on stage. I didn't go straight on stage. And he's running gear.

No, he would have had a time to get ready. But still, don't you think that's impressive? I was on stage in me in the shorts again last night. Oh, yes, too hot for the soup. Very hot. Stiles wears full soups and things. Yeah. I've seen him in some little shorts jumping up and down the stage.

And I thought, I thought, I thought, that's safe to favourites. Yeah. I thought, when you said that, I thought, oh, yeah, he ran all the way. and then when I ran onto the stage. He was putting a shift in. He was really giving it some on the stage. It's not like the old days. Rock stars would never do that normally.

Anyway. What, run to her now, exactly. Well, they wouldn't. I associate them leading questions. I can't see Barry White doing that. Wow. You know what I mean? Old rock stars.

You just imagine getting up at midday, having a cigarette, getting in the, they're so clean living these young ones. Oh, God, yeah. It's a good thing, obviously. It is very good. Have we heard from,

We have. Well, Ruth, did you see this big news about tackies? Yes. Should we get into the tackies? So, hi all, exciting news that Frank may already be aware of. Tackies are now available in lollipop form. Perfect for the older Tackies fan who maybe doesn't want to do all that crunchy and sorry, Frank. Could we have a live taste test on an upcoming episode? Praise redacted. It's your friend, Ruth Jordan. Yeah, Ruth. Not me, a different Ruth. That's my name. Were you, Ruth and another of our long time as we'll remember that I used to have tackies every week. Why have you stopped with those? Well, producer doesn't get them.

Really? I didn't want to bring it up with her in the room. She didn't know. She didn't know. You know, I'm constantly, I'm constantly plugging for no reason other than I like to share good things. The greatest sitcom ever. Superstore. Well, Garrett, a regular character on there, I was watching it last night. He had three different types of Tachis on his desk, eating them sort of, you know, taking it in turns.

One from that bag, two from that bag. Frank, which came first, your love of Superstore or Takis? Oh, Takis first. Really? My love a Superstore is only like... Pretty recent. Yeah. So...

I'm cramming. How do you feel about the Takis Lollipop? I can't quite picture what it is because they're tubular tachis. Yeah, maybe it's a long tubular lollipop. But it'll be spicy, right? Tackies are spicy. Well, yeah, I mean, you want Fuego for four things. Fuego.

Yeah. Fuego is the hot one. Some people favour the blue, but I don't think it's as hot as Fuego. This is my question about the blue ones. Did they make your mouth blue? Yes. I don't like things like that. I didn't used to swear on this podcast until I had blue. Do you want to have a look at the Takis lollip?

pop because I'm a little worried about it. I don't like, I don't like the look of it, guys. How does it? How do you secure a tube to, oh, I see. Can you explain to the listeners, guys? Can you explain to the listeners? It is no longer tubular. What it looks like, it looks like it's been mined.

It's from the tachis mind and they haven't yet formed it into anything. It's, they've just taken it out as a nugget. It's a raw element. It is. The big tackish rush. It's more like a corn dog. It is more like, but it's a rough corn dog. Yeah.

Again, I have a name. It's Emily. It's a shaggy corn dog. It looks a bit like an undettonated artifact from World War II or something. Oh yeah. Ross, that could be Ross. It's got the right thought. That's what it is.

Exactly what it looks like. Frank and I used to love a show called Danger UXB when we were younger. We discussed this like, do you remember? It was essentially just an armist. That was a stressful. You must have. Do you want, tell Ruth what it was, Frank. There were unexploded bombs.

Yeah, so there would be, what's the word? Disarming bombs. Unexploded bombs, yeah. They used to use stethoscopes. Right. So they'd have that on the casing. It was a drama, obviously, but every week, because you'd think. Every week it was will.

They never blew up. I never remember it blowing up ever. I think it did. It was Christmas special. It was awful. Oh, was it? Okay, fair enough. Happy Christmas, everyone.

So it was a drama, so it wasn't, they were actually... Yeah, it was a drama. No, it would be a great documentary. People would be a reality show. Oh, yeah. We're every week there to disarm an unexploded World War II bomb. I would watch, live. It has to be live.

And so does the bomb. Imagine the GC. I'm claustrophobic. I can't do it. I can't get it. Okay, I can hear something. I can hear a... Woof.

I'm a celebrity, get me out of me. But you know, you know, when sometimes footballers, like they'll kiss the lens of the camera and it leaves the lip thing, there'd just be a big splath on the camera that you'd see was dispersed. Oh, God. Let's bring back real peril to Saturday Night TV.

Exactly. I'm all for that. We can squeeze another one of these in if you overmined. Okay. Well, we've got a... A couple here. We've got, I tried to book, do you remember us talking about a tribute band called Adel of a tribute? And we weren't so sure on it. But Leo says, I tried to book Adela of a tribute, but she was busy. I said, never mind, I'll find someone like you. I'm a big fan of that, Leo.

Very nicely. I think that's pretty good work, to be honest. We also have. This is the finale. And this is from Jack and Maine. Better be gold. I will don't put that kind of ridiculous pressure on it, for heaven's sake. You've had danger, UXB. What more do you want content-wise? Jack in Maine, I mean, the fact that he's in Maine, as in Banga, Maine. Have you been to Maine?

I've never been to Maine. I have stopped off once, lovely place. I thank Emily an exalted guest. That's you, Ruth. In your discussion of chain mail in a recent episode, you mentioned the idea of using a scouring pad as imitation chain mail. Well, the possibility goes the other way too. I have a chain mail scouring pad.

It works pretty well. More durable. Who is this from Richard the Lionheart? Our Lionheart. It works pretty well. More durable and less damaging than steel wool. But the best... Can I just take...

I just... Julian Glover was at... Comic Con. He was in Kess, wasn't he? And he played, no. Oh, Brian Glover. Yeah, Julian Glover is a sort of classical actor. Oh, I know it is. I know it is. He's in lots of... I know him.

He was Aragog. He was the voice of Aragog in Harry Potter. Okay. Anyway, he was, he was also Richard the Lionheart in Doctor Who. And so I got him to sign a picture. He's very, very, very actor. And he signed it. And, you know, they put the role in inverted commas. So he said, he wrote Julian Glover, he wrote Richard de Leon. Nice. Love it.

I love that. Carry on. So my dad used to call it. Hank Sank. Henry V. That's what he'd call it. Oh, nice. Okay.

Jack in Maine continues. So he's got this chain mail scouring pad, which Frank seems to be a fan of. But the best thing about it is its name. It was sold as a chain mail scrubber. Every time I use it, I think to myself, that's no way to talk about Joan of Arc. Pre-redacted, pre-redacted, Cheers, Jack and Main. I love the chain-mail scrubber. Do you wear it? Is it chain mail?

We need to know. And then you clean things with it. We need to know more about it, Jack. I was assuming that it was made of more durable, like what chain mail is actually made out of it. It's a heavier metal. That's what I thought. Yeah. But he's, it's called chain-mail scrubber.

I mean, you know what it does? What? It asks more questions than it answers. Yeah. Yeah, like, who's that bloke on Mastermind, the host? Oh, I love him. Clive Myrie. Clive Myrie.

He asks more questions than he answers. I know. But do you know what, Frank? I like the look about it. I'm just going to show you a final picture of the tree. chain mail scrubber. Oh, that's great. Do you see what I mean?

Yeah. It's on a little key ring. I think you could probably great cheese with it as far. It's called Victorian Chainmail scrubber. Victorian? That's a very niche category of porn, isn't it? £20. It's worth £20.

For your crimes. Imagine that on Porn Hobb. Categories. Do you know, if I was going to be on Only fans. Frank, if I was on Only fans. My page would be called Victorian chain mail scrubber. You know, there's a niche for everyone. Exactly. There'll be someone out there who that's all they're interested.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I'd be happy to do that. Loads of money they earned, Frank. Yes, you're finished intercourse and you've sanded down the bedstead as well. Really? Really. Oh, by the way, the next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days is out on Wednesday. I decide I'm going to add stage directions to my text messages. So that was what I did.

So it's things like, I'm not coming tonight. He said with a snigger, that kind of thing. And the team analyzes Simon Cowell's daddy outfit. Looking forward to it. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and

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