The Frank Skinner Show - The Loudest Gig

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

Frank fears long-term damage after going to an incredibly loud gig and Pierre has been community-minded. There's also chat about big drinks, 99s and Aesop's fables. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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featuring him and that posh ladyo And the one with the French name From South Africa came They're all here open brackets to rain Close brackets today Martyr Rambling Rose of the Wildwood This is Frank off the radio

I'm joined by Emily Dean and Piano Valley Follow the podcast on X and Instagram You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalon UK.com. And in the WhatsApp department, That was David Thorpe's composition. And in relation to Michael? Who's Michael Thorpe?

Oh, wasn't he a swimmer? I don't know. Oh, there's a felt. The Thorpeedo? Yes, that's it, Frank. It's not Michael Thorpe. David... I interviewed him.

How did you, Frank? He took a size 15 in a shoe. Lovely to know. Well, that helped his swim in. He said that it did work a bit like flippers. He was a fabulous character. He wore a leather. sort of suit

A leather suit In the water? No, when I interviewed him The least aquatic garment Yeah I suppose cows can swim Can they? Let's find out

Yeah Let's find out after this Surf and turf Yeah, of course, exactly I'd say you get surfing turf I thought that was when JK Rowling went to Bondi Beach Oh look

I'll be straight with you. My head feels like it's in a clamp. I thought you'd given up that community. Never say. Even post-marriage, you give them a visit. Never say, safe word, never. I'm a bit deaf. I went to a gig last night

with a band that aren't known as the loudest band in the world. Who's that then? It's called My Bloody Valentine. I know them. Wow. And, in fact, way back in our radio days, I remember being in exactly this situation after a gig of this. That was 2017.

But anyway, I saw them last night. They were absolutely fantastic, but fuck me. The noise. They are loud. They are super loud. How close are you to the speaker? Well, you know, close enough. Yeah.

I don't think it gets you off. I had plugs in, but they're quite. nuanced. I bought some plugs that was like 20-odd quig because then it lets the music through but it protects your ears. I'd not chew another. You should have come to me, Frank, with my misophonia, I'm the plugs expert.

Well, you get three plugs on the way into a My Bloody Valentine's. Yeah. But they are the big wads of sponge and I should have gone for that. I didn't think of my bloody Valentine as being so compassionate and considerate. I saw the sex pistols at Bogart's beer keller in Birmingham.

in 76, I think. And it was so... They hadn't got time to sound check because they arrived like two hours like, so they were the sex pistols. And so it was so loud. I took two cigarette ends off the floor and put them in my ears.

And they weren't better than my 22-quid, nuanced plunks. What about when my parents woke me up, Frank, and said, get up, darling. The sex pistols are filming in your bedroom today. Wow, really? They filmed a film called A Great Rock and Rolls, like that. And they were filming a few bits.

There was one, I don't know if the music teacher, the singing teacher bit was filmed there. But I think... Tona DeBrette. Yeah, but there were various bits they were filming and we got really upset. Because you don't want to be woken. And at least tell us, give us a warning.

We're about seven or eight. And they didn't tell us and they were in the child's bedroom. I just think it's a bit wrong. It's good there. I mean, if you're good after you. get up early, do it? Because the Sex Pistols are filming. We were frightened of Sid Vicious, though.

The thing is with my bloody Valentine. Rightly so. Yeah, is they sound, like the vocals. It's like being in a storm, and you can hear a voice going, ah, in the distance. So it all feels quite incredibly loud, but like there's something between you and... It's like having the worst neighbours in the world.

If you could imagine there was like an aeroplane next to... It's like that. It's very, I'm going to say, ethereal. Really? But surely having the earbuds in, you're just losing it. Isn't that not better just to try and find the right level of loudness where you just don't need them, but it's still loud? Well, there are sections.

Like there's a song that they do, which everyone calls the Holocaust song. It's called You Made Me Realize it. And there's a section in that where it ceases to be music. It becomes, you can feel your ribs rattling. It's like, I mean, and it goes on and on and on this, but like super, super low. It's fucking great. But it's probably really dangerous.

But you go to all these gigs with Buzz now. Well, no, this was with my wife. But what I mean is you must be, your tolerance level must have gone up, surely. I know, but not even like seeing ACDC and stuff. It's nothing like the big. So it's like physical at a certain point The sound it's more about That's how they're interacting with

And remember when I'm sober Most, you know Most of them men I still like Blokes with big pints of beer Going for a piss every 10 minutes And I mean How do they drink?

Pints are so big They're enormous I say this every week These big drinks But you're right I noticed it When I went to a gig recently And I just thought

How would you take that on even? I know it's A pint of liquid. I don't get it. And, you know, lots of really big bea bellies in. Yeah. Like, it's called shoegaze music, but I don't think they could sit there. I haven't seen their feet since 1972.

Just as well. They wouldn't know how piss sudden they are. Frank. Shoegaze sounds like some queer subculture that's obsessed with patients. Pastry fetishists, the shoe gays. Shugay sound like my best friends. Oh, bad. So is this the demographic?

I want to tell you, it was brilliant. A you typical of the demographic, Frank, would you say? I suppose it's men over for, but there's all sorts. There was youth and even women. Really, women allowed. Well, really, I went, I really like them, but Kath is obsessed with them. So, you know. It must feel great to have a big beer belly shaken by that base you were talking.

about before. Yeah, well, the other thing is, you know, when you go to gigs, I went to see self-esteem the other week, and there's people all around us that just talk throughout the whole thing. And I said to Cathy, you cannot get upset by this, because people have forgotten how to be an audience. So they think they're watching the telly, so they just talk. But at my bloody Valentine, they could be fucking screaming at each other, and you can't hear them. It's perfect. The bloat next to me, who looked like a supply teacher, didn't have any plugs. And he took the whole thing We know, Plot.

Wow. That is freck. Oh, man, I loved it. And then there was a bit of a row. There's a bit of a calm on the drums. Kevin Shields is like the main guy. And a few of the intros went and they started arguing with each other. And then there was a big delay.

And the drummer started doing these drum fills, I think, to wind him up. And then looking across. I thought, oh, God, look, I don't need any more tension. My stomach is like a clenched fist from the volume. And now you're falling out. But it was fantastic, is what I'm saying. But I am a bit deaf today, and it's probably done irreparable damage. Oh, dear.

All right. What a lovely way to end that, Annickle. Exactly. The big drinks thing, I lost six audience members at the fringe because the bar wouldn't be open for the sort of 57-minute show. And everyone who left already had a drink in both hands. Yeah. They can't have two pints each

and they can't go without a drink for 57 minutes. I mean, this is the height of hypocrisy for me because I was that person. Remember, I was a person who had five pints to join the local library because I didn't feel I could do it sober. Library? Yeah.

I can't just walk into the fucking library sober. It's the funnest place on earth. Yeah, I just saw... Sorry, I'm just going to stop off at the off licence. I want to go to the library. I thought imagine the stress are going in there sober and said I'd like to do it. in the life. I can't do it. I simply can't do it. I'll have to go to the pub first.

But that's an interesting learned helplessness because I would describe you as one of the most confident self-assured people I've ever met. Thank you. I don't know. I can't explain it. Okay. It was, by the way, I met a man last night after the gig. It was, it got grey hair like myself, but he said, I've been in the mosh pit all night. He said, I was a bit, some of the younger and said, they'll really go for it in the mosh pit. Oh. And he said, I know I'm, you'd probably thinking I'm too old for the mosh pit. And what I was thinking was the mosh pit is like wild swimming. People only really do it so they can tell

people that they did it happen. They don't like it. No one likes it when it's happening. Oh man, I love watching it from a distance. Frank. It's like Jeremy Kyle. You're just glad you're not there. Breaking news. I've always been too old for the mosh pit. I know. At 13, at 15, at 18. I went to a chemical brother's gig once because a friend of mine was involved and I said, can I bring a chair or some sort of stool, or I'm not coming? And I was provided with one. It was like a camping stool. And I sat there and all these people, I'll be honest, mainly on drugs of some sort, I would imagine.

And I sat down as they all raved. And I felt really comfortable with my choice. I was at a slip-knock gig and I had an ice cream. I hope it was a 99. No, it wasn't a 99. And I slowly is more appropriate. No, it was a cornet. Even better, I had a

Slipknot kick. Yeah, I rarely I rarely go for the 99. Why not? It's overkill, isn't it? The flake as well. What do you mean it's overkill? I've never heard such a strange theory. Think about flakes. I'm sick of them. Ninety-nine's everywhere you go, getting so overexposed.

Yeah, no, but you don't need chocolate and ice cream, do you? You don't have to have the flake. Are you going to check it and to strow it out? Like a lid. You can just say no flick, please. It's not like a... It wouldn't be a 99.

I didn't have a flake. I went to an ice cream van once and it said... It had a list of the things and it said corn it with chocolate stick. I said, is that a 99? And he said, well, we'll tell we can't call it a 99. Oh, trade's description. Yeah, some sort of copyright thing on a 99. My problem with the ice cream van is there isn't inherent sleazy.

to it, to an ice cream van. It's something about the peeling paint and the smell of petrol. It just feels inherently sleazy. And the window hatch. And the copyright infringing pictures. Kat thinks basically everything other than W.H. Smith

and next is a front for drugs. Everything. So an ice cream van is a definite front for drugs. There's no doubt about it. I mean, hiding in playing in sight, you know, the music that they play

on the thing. Do they still have Mind That Child? I hope so. That would be flexible. Do you remember they'd have written on the back mind that child? They would have mine that child. That's right. The idea that when the child had got ice cream, all it's learned about traffic has been lost in euphoria. So they just dash out. It's turned into sort of bacchanalian lunatics. It used to be a TV advert where the kid was grabbed at the last minute as she ran out into the street and you saw a close-up of the

corn it's spinning through the air, landing on the floor, and a car went over it. And the kind person said, that ice cream could have been you. What, completely splattered flat on the groat. The same advert, but with a bag of drugs flying through the air. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You see those smashed pills? But they don't say that, they say, that's what we actually sell.

That's what it ends. No wonder, this is why we're so tall. This is why we needed alcohol to go to libraries. We grew up with weird things and we thought that you'd go to climb over fences and there'd be pylons which would electrocute you. This is the kind of thing we were exposed. You don't get warning adverts anymore, do you?

No. Why don't they do warning adverts anymore? I think they're trying to get the population down. What would the elderly live in so long? I've done my bit, can I say? The government's desperate for kids to get playing around by the wires. That's why they don't have mind that child anymore No, no, they're saying

Exactly, don't mind that child It says they went, the government went around Put it right and don't He's like Oh man Frank, may I share What about wear something white at night That was my favourite one ever

Oh, for visibility Yeah It's for visibility A white raincoat or a hat is Well a shopping bag will do as well Just use your ingenuity And wear a garment they can see.

We're trying to avoid them looking at us, thank you. Like a shopping bag, like for a hat. Yeah. Doesn't matter to us as long as you're conspicuous. What happened to that? Now they don't care if we're running over. It's getting the numbers down. No.

The welfare system can't support us. Let them get run over. Fuck them. If they're on drugs and the ice cream, put them in. Exactly. May I share with you some correspondence we've had from our dear readers? Yes, I think they've been on top form in recent times. They have. Well, Laura from Dudley has gone in touch.

That's near your area, isn't it? Yeah, I wonder if she ever goes to the zoo. Oh, is it good that zoo? I mean, they're very cruel. No, but they're not cruel, not at Dudley's zoo. zoo. Why, they don't have any animals? Because the animals were dead.

What do you mean? No, no. It was a small town, just a small town zoo. What did you have, like, a tabby cat or something? I can't remember what they. A mouse. We used to go a lot, because there was no other zoos around. But it wasn't like...

We were a bit far from the sea for bringing them in. But you wouldn't have had bears or anything. I don't know. There might have been bears. Bears around the birds. Exotic birds. Only if they came of their own accord. Yeah, you used to get that.

Tiger's and all sorts. Anyway, what does Laura have to say? Laura has got in touch. Re-Frank's experience about the ewes that shouted, shut up, as a reply to a friendly hello. It reminded me of an experience I had about 10 years ago. I was in Birmingham Bullring after a work training day, and on the way to the station,

I treated myself to a posh lemonade-style. drink. You know the type of thing. I just started to drink it when a random man came up to me and said, can I have a sip? I looked at him incredulously and said, no. He then looked at me and said, you have a big nose, don't you? I was so shocked. I told him to eff off and walked away, but he proceeded to shout after me, oy, big conk. I have to point out, I do not. I do not. I don't not have a larger than normal nose. We're all wondering. She's cleared that off. She's cleared it up. But I spent the rest of the way to the station looking in shop windows and scrutinising my nose.

It has stayed with me until this day, wondering if he genuinely expected me to give him a sip of my drink or whether he just likes to insult strangers. Over to you, Frank. Well, I was on Birmingham New Street Station many, many years ago. And a man that in those they were called tramps, but now they're called the homeless. Whereas my dad called them, do you remember, Frank? Gentleman of the Road. Okay, yeah. And this guy said, can I have a bite to your burger?

And that's a big. I mean, I'm all for helping people. Not that I was in a great state at the time. So I remember, I thought, and I broke a bit off. Did you? And gave it to. Well, I couldn't let him have a bite. No.

Or actually, you know, there'd be more, probably be more stuff. on it that would be left by his teeth. Laura was in a difficult situation here. She was. She couldn't do that with the drinking vessel. That's nigh on impossible. No. Unhygienic.

Yes. And also, if he's the sort of person who goes on about Laura's massive nose. Yeah, which she doesn't have. No, which obviously doesn't. Yeah, he's saying that. I bet she's like an hard vark. Don't say that.

I really like the idea of quite an aggressive man doing this. He's clearly a very unreasonable gentleman, but he's still using sort of Beano, big conk, sort of 1940s. Strange old-fashioned insult. Oh, you've got a bit, oh, like, big nose. Oh, what, big conk? It's something the Bash Street kids would shout. You've got a big bum.

It's like, no, they're fashionable now. It's not an insult. I like that Laura said, you know, I had one of those, you know, those posh lemonade drinks. No. I do. What are they? Oh, like, yeah, and fentamins.

I was thinking fentilums. Oh, are that lemonade? based. Yeah, a lot of them are. I have no idea. No, I know. Well, now you want to sip. When I was in Birmingham still living,

lemonade was a posh drink in its own right. You thought pandacola was posh. My mum used to put sterilised milk in lemonade. Why? To make it white. Why would you want white lemonade? Because it was that a sort of, you know, milkshake thing to it. Look at our own entertainment in those days.

The whole milkshake thing. Yeah. It's like if you bought some booze for a tramp and handed it to them and they went, whizzo, you think, what is happening here? Well, I know someone else is, he said very foolishly, I was on a railway station. And he said to a tramp, have you got the time, mate? Which people used to do in those days. Yes.

Not everyone had phones. And the tramp said, sorry, I don't operate on a chronological system. This is absolutely fantastic. Are you sure that wasn't you? Oh, man. But who would ask a person, like, if they've got the time? What time means nothing? What about when I was in a cafe in a place called Harbourn in Birmingham?

And we're using the word trap like it's okay. I don't think it is. But it was the word of the time. And the tramp came in and he had a cup of tea. And it was a nice cafe that would let people like this, like, come in just, you have a cup of. and it was fine. And a bloke came in and said to this chap, you haven't got a blue Ford Mondeo, have you, mate?

And he said, no, no, no, sorry, I haven't. And I thought, what do you mean? Have you got a blue Ford, Mon? Yeah, I just dressed like this, for a lark. Yeah, this is my style. Oh, man. We've also heard from 842. I don't know how this is going to go,

but we'll soon find out. Yeah. I just managed to... I think it's going to go really well. Well, you haven't heard it yet. No, I don't know what it is. Just managed to nab a signed photo of Frank on eBay for £1.90. A result?

I'd have given you one if you'd asked. They had one. This is the bit that I was not sure to read out. I've got about 800 publicity postcards that I bought just before my career crumbled. Embarrassing. Yeah. How embarrassing. I mean, I've got parts of them. I've sent you on for free.

I mean, my hair's a bit different and I look younger. Do you want to hit part two to this message? Thanks. Yeah, I'll hear part two. Really? Okay. They had one of David Bedil too. And whilst it would have been nice to keep the pair together, £2.91 was asking a bit much.

Yeah. Bank Skinner £1.90, Badele, 291. What say you? I told Dave he was pricing it a bit high. I don't know. I'll send you a free one. Yeah, get in touch eight four two. Self-addressed envelope. I'm honestly, I'm glad to get rid of the fucking postcards.

I've seen the photo. Oh, yeah? It's quite a nice photo, but it's when Frank, Frank had quite a lot. Long-curly, non-grey hair. Beautiful natural curl you had. I might, you know, if I become a columnist, I'll use it. Yes. It's a lovely photo.

Yes, they'll be printed in the Times and you'll think, that can't, when did they start writing for the paper? I remember thinking, he's a thousand and off. I might, you know. What? You've only got... Oh, Frank. That was 15 years ago. Oh, no.

How do they come up with such specific prices? 291? Yeah, I don't know that. There'll be some... Probably Black Friday. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but deal might go down. I might buy that if it goes down.

I need a nice photo of David. I'll bid for it. Yeah. Yeah. Over to Pierre in the studio. Paul from Western Australia. Oh, I love Western Australia. I'm not really speaking to Australians at the moment.

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay, yes. Because of the, yeah, well, well, maybe they're cheating again. Yes. You never know. No, I don't think they are. If they are, it's fucking good cheating. Oh, is it?

Oh, are they too good then? Well, they beat us in two days in a five-day test. Well, that sounds bad. You know, we'll bounce back. I think so. Get some sandpaper. Hi Frank Emily and Pierre With my latest phone update

Came an update for CarPlay While listening to the podcast recently I noticed a change in the playback speed settings A tortoise and a hair icon pairing Have replaced the old buttons For going faster or slower playback Really?

Some people listen to playback a bit faster Yeah I've done it sometimes Busy people I've done it sometimes 1.15 is quite common Really? I do it if I have to What a world we live in

I've done it. If I'm interviewing someone, let's say, and they've written a book and I want to listen to the audiobook and time is tight, they might be talking like this. And then I was born a minute. Sometimes at 1.5 is acceptable without it being difficult to listen to. But what is this life? If full of care, we have no time to stand and stay. Okay. I like that, Frank. Yeah. You know what? Imagine listening to someone at 1.5. Yeah. Oh, God. A full audio book.

Well, I have enough of that with my wife. Carry on. Although I assume the tortoise is for slowest playback speed and the hair is faster, according to Aesop, choosing the tortoise should get me to the end of the podcast quicker. That is good point. Yeah, they haven't factored in. Aesop beds to differ. What's your favourite Aesop fable, Frank?

Well, I mean, that's it. I love the tortoise and the hair because it inspires. inspired a, I really like Eddie Cochran, the old rocker. And there's a thing called Cutter Cross Shorty. And it was at different times. Two men have a race to decide who marries this woman. Some poor hapless woman, that's no saying the matter. No, no, because she's got her, see, it's, one of them is called Shorty,

and she really likes Shorty. And the catchphrase is cut across Shorty, Shorty, Cotter Cross Shorty, That's what Miss Lucy said. Cut across, shorty, short, to cross is you I want to wed. And she fixes the race. And as it says, and just like they're all storied about the turtle and the hair, turtle. Turtle. Tortoise didn't scan as well.

When Dan got over the finish line, he found Shorty Wade in there. What's your favourite? Well, I was trying to think about it. Do you say A-Sop or E-Sop? I said E-Sop. Let's call the whole thing But do you say ASA, I think I'm probably wrong I trust him on language

And I kind of trust too Well you'd say pedophile Yes And that's an AE Would you have to say things like that I don't care I don't care We're having a perfectly nice conversation

About very wholesome thing But can you feed a file for pronunciation Yeah I don't care Frank Pediatrician would have been done Just don't take us down these avenues I've ever thought of that. It was goats and all sorts last week. Yeah.

It was just a... What are the other fables? It was only a... It's the one about the fox and the hens or the chickens, Frank? Because then I thought, I've asked this question and it's an absolute hospital past because I can't remember any. Yeah. So I apologise profusely.

You've asked it like a kind of devastating question at a dinner party. Which of the other works do you like... Oh no. How many reminds? Fawkes, do you know? They've caught me out, I'm a faker. Frank, isn't there a fox and a chicken? It's the one with Scrooge McDuck in it.

Well, I keep thinking of the Good Samaritan, but that's a parable, isn't it? You know, I've never really read. No. I'm going to stop saying how you say it. Esot. I'm going with Isso. Can I apologize to Aesop, all his family, because it's an error. It's a mispronunciation error, and I will own up to it.

Okay. I'm saying Peterphal. Frank, stop it. Frank. Would you buy that book? No, I wouldn't. And I wouldn't listen to this podcast. Longlisted for the booker.

Not many do, but it's facing. Stop encouraging him. Yeah. Okay. The only one I know, there's something to do with the fox and chickens or a hen house. Well, yeah, I'm guessing the one. Is there a hayhouse? One when how do you get across the river?

Yes, that's a good one. I don't think that's anything to do. with Esop. I mean, all I know is why did the Scorpion sting you? Because he could. That's not ESOP. I'll have a look in my ESOP file. See if I can find.

I feel ESOP's gone out of Vogue. Shut up, Frank. Esop's gone out of fashion a bit. I don't think they teach them like they used to. I think, you know. I think Kirsty ESOP. Yes. And her tables. Don't mention her this week. Ah, yes.

Causing a little bit of trouble. I'm going to check. I'm going to check out more Esop's Fables. Was he Isop a man then? Yeah. But was he famous at the time? Is he a celebrity? Who was he? He was a sort of David Attenborough. Was he? A fable. But he introduced a sort of

narrative to his natural history. That's a weird thing to go into. Did he say, oh, I think I'm going to do fables when I'm older? Yeah, exactly. What career do you fancy? He was a fablist. What career do you fancy E-Sop? Fabulous. Yeah. Imagine at school. Yes, well, he's a very nice. boy, I have to say he's very good in fables.

Career officer. Have you ever Tommy Isop? Have you ever considered a career in fables? Now then, lad. All your anecdotes have an abstract meaning or life lesson. Have you considered monetising this? You seem a little judgmental, Isop. You never explain things directly. I would describe you as somewhat passive-aggressive, Esot. It is passive-aggressive.

Yeah. It's called the fox. Did you say stop rushing? It did a lot of indirect messaging. I-M's. I've got an IM from ESOP. I can't work the fucking thing out. Can you imagine trying to have an argument with him. Poor ESOP, Mrs. Esop.

Every time you had anything. Well, the tortoise did race against the hair. Shut up. Why are you in such a mood Esop. Well, an eagle once was told. Just say it. Just complain. Oh, passive-aggressive-aggressive-assop. It is passive-aggressive. It's not wise.

Richard Geh is playing him in the film. Anyway. Pierre. I will say, before I tell you why, I'm very sore today, but not in the head and eardrums like yourself. I've slightly bugged my lower back. But before I explain the community-minded way in which I did that, two very strange things happened on the way here that I think they're mentioning. One, I overheard a large group of very posh, sort of well-dressed people on the tube.

They're all standing around, and they got on at sort of Earl's Court and off at Kensington kind of types. And then the chunk I overheard from them was one of the ladies saying, well, of course, and then of course there's Satan's Temple. And I thought, what is? I'm trying to name other underground stations. She's accidentally revealing she's in some sort of eyes wide shut style society. I thought everybody called it Satan's Temple. She might be a horse racing tipster.

Oh, I wonder where that was going. Yes, that's a point. I just, I tried to hear more, but they... Satan's Temple. And it was said like you'd say, and of course there's Catholic kids, it's just an option to bear in mind. Satan's Temple. They were so, like, sort of well.

to do and plummy. I can't imagine them going and rucking out to Satan's temple. Is it a sexual position? If it was, she didn't say it with any hint of source or... It was delivered as very mundane. We'll have to check that. We'll have to have a look. It could be a nightclub.

Satan's Temple. That's the only thing I can think. I mean, not the sort of club we'd go to. Yeah. Like the Hellfire Club or something. Yes, yeah, yeah. They could have had a clue where they had to know parts of Satan's head. It could be.

I say, darling, here's a quiz to pass the journey. Parts of Satan's head, horn. Oh, everyone says fucking horn. No points for horn. Not the bloody tale again. Except horn, obviously. Little beard, oh, there, we're off. Yes, all right.

Sometimes a goatee, yes. Maybe it's one of those, you know, a sort of slightly Victorian exclamation. Satan's temple. Oh, you know, like great Caesar's guns. Yes, exactly. Perry White, the editor of the Daily Planning. I'm going to start using it now. Satan's Temple.

Well, lovely Tom Reid Wilson, who Frank and I adore on I'm a celebrity. We simply adore him. He's so marvellous. That's exactly how he's a lovely man. He always says sweet. Does he say sweet Fanny Adams? Or my sweet, is that what he says, Frank? Yeah.

Sweet Fanny Adams. It is, I think it is sweet Fanny. Yeah. That's the other thing I was a full. I'm never heard of the Adams beer. I'm so shocked at the first bit that he's saying that. Prang. You've already fainted.

Yeah, exactly. And a full sort of two cars in height tractor going through Piccadilly Circus. What? Massive green. Chris Eamank. That'll be the country protest. I'll be Clarkson. Is that where there are 800 dead foxes trading behind them?

Clocks are to the body. I bet you it's... It will be. Oh, yeah, of course. The farmers get angry because they have to pay tax. Don't come at me, farmers. I'm just saying... That's the last young farmer's ball you've been invited to.

Sorry, farmers, I understand it's complicated. But the way I've hurt my back, I was picking... I'm in the neighbourhood WhatsApp group. I live in the suburbs now. And there was a leaf picking morning. Everyone went around and picked up all the dead leaves and mud and gunk. God's litter. God's letter.

And it's ruined autumn for me. I used to like autumn. What colour were all the leaves? Oh, they were orange and yellow and red. They'd been there for so long that they'd become. So you were stooping, really? I was doing a lot of stooping because everyone else involved in this plan was retired. Which is why they were available to do this on a Tuesday morning.

You don't want to be in a leave gathering thing. don't want to be the only one who can stoop. Yeah, well... Because some of them call naturally stooped. Yes. They're halfway there. Yeah, that's true. I suppose they can spot them and you pick them off.

Well, where you want to get to ideally is the picture of elderly people crossing. When you're at that stage. Oh, yes. You know, and you're literally... Full on. Yeah. I get them on my car. Old people?

Leaves. Frank, do you get them in a little rich thing? I haven't got an old person in my car since I hit one on my driving. True story. So, I get them. take leaves off my car and the sheer joy just being able to throw them on the floor yeah oh do you get them gathering frank in the

in the dent that awful duct that ditch between the bonnets and the windscarine yeah I know and leave grow your own produce it's a little garden it's an ecosystem in that little area yeah that feels relief certainly but I think everyone else doing it looked like characters in some sort of heartwarming

British made film yes with sort of Jim Broadbent and Helen Mirren and, you know, Michael Sheen in it. What did you look like? I looked like I was doing it because a court had ordered me to. Yes, you do a bit. If you don't mind me saying, you do look a bit, Charles Bronson. I was wearing an old beanie with like workman's gloves and stuff.

I'm guessing. You're on C-Wood. I thought you'd be in full combat. Become the leaves. Camouflage, black boots, and all that terrifying bloke who lives in the road. It makes the kids. run with bricks in a backpack. And then one day.

He will kill again. Yes, he will kill again. No, do you know. Well done you, though. Anton DeBette would say, well done you. Well, full credit to the organiser because the labour of picking up a load of leaves and mud, I'm happy with that.

The idea of going and getting the special bags from the council fills me with all over there. Why don't the council clean the leaves? They do, but they wait till it's far too late to have stopped all the slipping. mud and Oh, I see. They do it once a year.

No, they're council. Yeah. But apparently, they always get to the end of the podcast first. It's Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know?

Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalon U. dot com.