The Frank Skinner Show - The Tooth Fairy Has A Side Hustle

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

Frank and Emily are joined by Rob Auton. Frank has had a first at the barbers and Rob has been reminicing about his childhood. There's also an email about Frank's filthy mugs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's Frank off the radio. It's the Frankskinner podcast, don't you know. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Rob Orton is with us today. Alde? We can tighten that in it. Would you mean there's no edit? Oh, no.

Follow the podcast. Don't tighten it in the edit. Produce them edit and note as if she's going to tighten it in the edit. Yeah, right. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram You can email the podcast via Frankoftar Radio Avalon UK.com I think I sounded a bit Rob Orton then

Did you think? Anyway, and on the WhatsApp front You can WhatsApp us on Oh 7457-4-17-769 Yeah, I'm not sure about that one A worst band in the world Yeah Who are the worst band in the world?

Hmm, good question. What would you say? Well, a band who I love very much is my bloody Valentine, who I went to seriously in the Albert Hall. And my wife was also an enormous fan of them. And I was, I bought the tickets. It was a charity gig. I went through the indignity of paying.

And I had to go through. my manager's assistant, Max Chichester. I don't know if you know, Max. Familiar with this work? Tall dashing. And he... Strange review. So he said to me, I saw him last night.

I did a gig in Reading and he came along. And I was running, I want to run some by you, Rob, you being a poet about Reading. Remind me of that. So I, he said to me, Oh, after our discussion about my bloody Valentine tickets, I actually went and listened to my bloody Valentine.

I said, okay, how was that? So I didn't like it. I don't know if I'd have brought that up. Oh. Yeah? But I thought that's good that, obviously, I will get him sacked. But even so, it's good that he had the courage to do that. It is, but I would never do it myself, Frank.

But he went to eat and sell, you know, they've got that confidence. Eaton. Oh, yeah. They meant to be the loudest band in the world, my blood, They are, they've been measured at 150 decibels, I think. And apparently there's one thing, there's a section that they play an instrumental section, which is known as the Holocaust section. And it's supposed to be like standing 100 metres from a jet plane taking off is the level of volume.

But they turned it down at the Albert Hawkers through masonry concerns, apparently. The Albert Hall had just implode. I like that they're playing the Albert Hall, though. I wouldn't have put them. Well, the teenage cancer trust, they've got a deal with the Albert Hall. I think my worst band would probably be R-EM. Oh, really?

Really? I appreciate that's very controversial. It's like saying your worst film is Blade Runner or something. I'm glad you didn't say that. But... I saw them at Glastonbury in 2003. R-E-M? One of my favourite shows I've ever seen.

Oh, I do apologize. Well, no, no, everyone's got to have an opinion. Can I add a liar to this? I saw a much of church in London doing a sort of small secret gig. Absolutely fantastic. Oh, but back to you, Em. I mean, I love that you love them. R-E-M, as I like to call you.

I love that you enjoy it. But this is why I never say what I don't like. Because it does produce a very strong reaction of people. No, but that's good. Oh, is it okay? I like people to not like what I like. Well, that's definitely true in our case, Frank. Well, yeah, there's so many things that I like that you don't like.

Let's call the whole thing, sorry. Let's call the whole thing Frank off the radio. You just said the R-E-M. I like to call you like RM. Yeah. That was so... Well, whatever was. I knew there was...

I'm still... Cannot believe how quick that is. Like, just like that, bam. What, Frank? Yeah, I know he's quick, but I mean... Jesus. He is in the room still wrong. I appreciate that, Rob.

I know, but you're sounding like we've gone to see him in a care home. I mean, I can't believe how quick he still is. That will come, that will come, don't worry. People will be saying that, okay, he's shitting himself, but he's still got the one-liners. We'll go and visit him, Rob. You'll say, but he's still quick. Whatever they say about him. Yeah.

Oh, but what I'll be saying then, there'll be no filter. It'll be quick, but it'll be horrendous. Can you imagine? What I was going to say to Rob about, We'll come back to Our Ian. Of course. When I drove into Reading, I wasn't driving, obviously. There was a pub.

What do you think of this for a pub name? I asked you this as a poet. It was called the Hope and Bear. Oh. The Hope and Bear. I thought they've taken an abstract concept and an animal and put them together as if they're natural soul-made. Although was Bear definitely spelt?

a picture of a bear on the sign at. Because I thought, is it like grinning bear? Yes. But no, it's a bear plus hope. Is it bear as in the community of bears, if you know what I mean? No. Oh, no, it wasn't like a big man with a beard and a leather jacket on. Now, that would give a different meaning to Hope and Bear.

Hope gets into quite a few pub names of it, doesn't it? Like there's the Hope and Anchor. Oh, yeah. But I think I can see that as almost like a sort of nautical prayer. Yeah. Yeah. Hope and bear. Hope and bear.

Which, which word do you think is most commonly used in pubs in the UK? The. Probably. Probably and and be second. Yes. In. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Which body part? Head or arms. Oh, that's. What about when I went in. Don't say something inappropriate. I went. Because it's a bird and it's a farmyard animal.

I was. Is it called Stilton? Is that where the cheese comes from? And there was a pub called the Nelson Arms. And I said to the bloke behind the bar, it should be called the Nelson Arm. I don't think he got it. Why do you make jokes to people like that?

Because every now and again, you know, a lot of them fall on stony ground, but occasionally a small sapling will sprout up Where you least expect it. You say something on the boss or something, you know, wherever you're with. And you hear someone laugh two seats behind. No, they might not be laughing at me,

but let's see it they probably are. You know, I love that you're still making the effort. So what's the REM problem? I don't know. I didn't love the man. You know. Stipeau. I didn't love the man.

I found the man. I don't know what it is. You can never really explain why. It was just, I would hear the music all the time, and I would have to turn it off. It's a very odd thing with music, isn't it? You can't explain why it wasn't to do with repeat listening. That often helps. It made it worse in that case.

It doesn't speak to my soul, Frank. It's very odd with me, because I used to like the police. Are they the police? Rob, what do you think? The police? You've got to be careful when you start to get grey hair, that you don't put a thee. on a band that shouldn't be there.

That's what people are looking for a sign of senility. Sting's doing loads of stuff with Shaggy at the moment, isn't it? Have you seen that? Is it? Oh, Sting in his Shaggy era? Sting and Shaggy, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I mean, that's a great feat. Is it Sting feet, Shaggy or Shaggy feet? Sting. Shaggy's feet probably do. Sting after all that dancing. So Shaggy's been doing a lot since it wasn't. Was that Shaggy? I've got that terribly wrong.

Yeah, big time, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's his greatest moment, I would say. Okay. Musically. What, Honey came in and she caught me buck naked. It's his greatest moment. Yeah, well.

Did he do Mr. Bombastic as well? Was that Shaggy? Careful, careful, Rob. You've got a great career. Let's keep it that way. I've tried to sing Electric Avenue recently. Don't, don't now. It's impossible to sing it in a, we're going to go down to, it doesn't work at all.

But you can't sing it in the accent, the Paris. I thought you could. I'm not sure why you can't, but you probably can't. So if I went to karaoke, I'm not allowed to do a shaggy song. I am. You could, but you'd have to do it in your natural accent. Well, yeah, you'd have to say, honey came in and she called me red. Well, you wouldn't have to do it, pass.

Well, oh, how dare you? I can exclusively reveal that Shaggy indeed was the man behind Boombastic. Fantastic. Okay. Yeah. He's done well, but I don't really see him work. I can't see him in a video with loads of candles like Sting. I like he's done well.

He has done well. God bless him. I wonder how he got that nickname though. Oh, do you don't? He might have a big brown dog. Yeah. Oh, so do you like, Shaggy? Oh, you don't think he's. He was a naughty boy.

I shouldn't think so. There's not much of that going on in the music business. The thing about Sting, though, did he remember? Because he got very obsessed by the Russians. Do you remember his Russian period? No. I hope the Russians love their children too. Don't you remember that song?

All his videos are black and white. All his videos went black and white. Did they? He got very obsessed by nuclear threat. Okay. I met him with no shirt on once. Did you? I bet was that quite a treat?

He's very handsome. He's a lovely. He's very friendly as well. What did he say? All right, Frank. Well, he's very sort of Geordie, you know. He's like that. Whereabouts was that?

That was at the Brits. I didn't want to actually say the word. Was that the night you presented the Brits? Yeah, he's got a lifetime achievement award. I got End of my Career Award. Someone's written in about the Brits, Frank. Oh, yeah. From Hobart, Tasmania.

Wow. Are you familiar with Hobart Tasmania? No. Okay. This is from Shane. Right. The Brits. I'm glad to steal people in the antipodes called Shane.

Also, the Brits and Shane. It's like your IMDB page. Good-D-B page. Good-D-E-E-E-D-E-E. He doesn't say good-day. God bless him for joining in. He starts with G-A-Y-A-Y. Yep.

From Down Under. He even says Down Under. Shane, I'm starting to think you're not a real Australian. He's too much. He's writing from Leeds. But carry on. Long-time reader, first-time writer, listening recently to some old episodes,

when Frank mentioned the tattie mugs he tried to sell during a tour. Do you remember this, Frank? I don't know about this. Oh, yeah, I remember them. They had a dirty joke on them. Oh, dear. Maybe he meant dirty.

Thanks to the exceptional margins. You must have had some high margins. No, well, the guy who ran the merchandise, I met him accidentally. It was very don't you. I know they had a lot of stuff left. I said to them, I don't have the sort of fans that buy merchandise, but they knew best. So they lost the money, basically.

But he said to me, we've been left with a lot of those mugs with the disgusting joke. And I thought there wasn't a disgusting joke when you thought they were going to sell. No. But now they're a disgusting joke. It was a disgusting joke. What was it? Oh, no. It was me talking about it.

I was saying that I don't really like condoms. I said, I hate that moment after sex when you look down at yourself and there's a pink wrinkled condom just hang in there, especially if you weren't wearing one when you put it in. That was the joke. Oh, my. You asked me. On a mug?

On a mug? To be used by family? Well, I don't think necessarily to be used by family. But children can't read. Oh, is that written? Must be quite a small time. I think that's what I read that in the telegram. A mug, Frank, in a kitchen?

Well, it wasn't my idea. They said, can we put one of your jokes on a mug? And I said, what about this one? And they said, yeah, great. Wow. I mean, you're a funny man. You've said some very funny things in your lifetime. That is not the most mug-friendly content you've ever produced.

Well, look, why don't you beat me up for this now? I'm not beating you up. I'm beating up the merch man. Anyway, yes, so I made some tattie mugs. He's right. Who's from Ken Dodd? Shane continues. I hoped I'd find one on eBay.

I've been searching Frank's name. Don't do that. Right. And I've come across a Vendor. I love a Vendor. Selling photos... Vendor sounds like a super villain, doesn't they? Selling photos of Frank hosting the Brits.

So Vendor, your kingdom is in ruins. Would he like me? to send him a copy. Are you all right, darling? Shall we talk for a bit? Shall we come back to this? Emily's gone bright red. Honestly, we could move on and you can have a little rest.

No, I'm fine. Hang on. Oh, she's such a pro. Oh, I hate this. What if it's COVID as well? I'm here sitting here just taking it, Rob. I could feel it coming on. Thank you for passing me.

Still, my voice is still a bit like weird. Let's talk, let's just talk about someone else. Let's come back to this. When you just have a moment. Rob, what have you been up to? I've been on tour, but I've been thinking about quite a lot recently. I don't know why. When I was little, I got circumcised.

Right? Right. I must say, if we'd stop that sentence there and opened a book on what you were going to say next, I wouldn't have got anywhere near. Okay, for health reasons or religious. I don't know. I have never got to the bottom of it, really. I mean, I don't bring it up too much with my parents, but I, you know, sometimes just...

Well, it has its drawbacks. Oh, no. There we go. I knew this was going to happen, Lord. I knew... Sorry, Rob, that's the last one of those jokes I'm going to do about it. No, keep them coming. No, no, you have my word.

Why don't you make Rob a cup of tea from your mug? I'd see, she's got a voice back when she's used to threaten it. For evil. Go on, Rob, carry on. I'll be more respect. Do you ever think about your childhood and you kind of verbalise something and you think, did that really happen? And then just something about saying it out loud makes you go, oh God, yeah. And when I was little and I was circumcised, I had this, the doctors must have put like this ring on the end of my penis to keep it back or whatever.

And over a couple of weeks it kind of solidified And then one morning I woke up And it wasn't there anymore The ring had gone Yeah And I went through I'm blaming Gallum I was going to give me back that ring

I went through into my parents' bedroom And said My ring's gone And they My mum was like All right, okay Why don't you go Back through into your bed?

and have a look under your pillow. And I was like, what? And I looked under my pillow. It was a 50-pence piece. I said, where's my ring gone? And my mum said, Two-Fairie must have taken it. The two-fairies got a side job going.

Side-hustle? Yeah. So I said, what, does the two-fairie collect other stuff like that? And she said, yeah, and I pay you more for it. So I said, can I get circumcised again? and she said no it doesn't work like that you're right so I got 50p

I was getting 20p for a tooth and then you know those 50p so it used to be big yeah like the diameter of a golf bowl really and I've just been thinking about that really there's got to be an Edinburgh show in that surely

well what would that be the circumcised show it would be the fairy of the rings It's a lovely idea, isn't it? But how did it disappear? I think they must have just had instructions from the doctors, you know, and said... Well, they got it off without you waking up?

Yeah, deep sleeper. A sleight of hand. Deep sleeper. Came in at night and took the removed the ring. That is, I mean, that is a delicate operation. Well, you know, I'm thinking about the tooth fairy using it as like a hula hoop or whatever or in the Olympic rings. of the two-ferri Olympics, you know.

What do kids get now? See, when Buzz was doing... What did Buzz get? I was giving him a two... I wasn't, obviously. No. But he was getting a two-quid piece. Was he?

Her tooth? I gave him a two-quid piece because I've never been utterly convinced that they are part of the current. Oh, God. I haven't. If I've got one of them,

I think, oh, no, I've ended up with one of those things that aren't really. You know, when you look at... You get vending machines and you think, no way. will they take a two pound piece? It's never been accepted.

You're not a fun though. Do you have a favourite coin? None of us have yet used the phrase legal tender, which you know is a prerequisite in the conversation like this. Yeah, well, I don't think. When they first arrived, I thought that's great. It looks like an Arctic slice. You remember those cakes that had ice cream in the middle? Arctic Roll, my faith.

But it's never, there was parking meters in those days, And I don't think they ever allowed the two-pound piece. And that made me think, it's like a terrible outsider that's arrived. And, you know, it's the lonely kids standing in the corner of the playground where the other coins all run around together. Yes, it's got no group, has it? I saw a picture of the old pound the other day, you know, that had kind of, it had a crown on it and then like a plant coming out of the top.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. And it made me feel really nostalgic, yeah. I used to love that coin. Wasn't the one that had... I used to love that coin. Wasn't the one that had on the shoulders of giants written on the... Yeah.

And then Oasis... The Noel Gallagher quote, exactly. Yeah? I think it was the other way around. I know it was. But a lot of people probably think great. They've got that Noel Gallagher. I think they did.

Soccer fans, your chance to witness history is here. You can win tickets to the FIFA World Cup 2026 final thanks to Visa. All it takes is a B. Visa credit card to winner. Sign up and enter at bemo.com slash contest. Contest rules apply. Do you want to hear the rest, by the way, of Shane? Or would we like to?

Oh, yeah, you're going to take some following the circumcision fairy. Can I just check? By the way, with the circumcision fairy then, was this fairy's role? I mean, should you just do circumcision and... I'm just interested to know. Was it just circumcision and tea? I suppose she could take.

Is there anything else? If you had sort of aluminium knee joint fitted. I don't think they fade, do they? What else do people have taken out of them? Appendix, the appendix fairy. That's a nice job. No, that's the worst of all the fairy jobs. Oh, I don't know.

Oh, okay. It'll be like, I'd arrive on one of those butcher bikes and wrap the appendix in white paper, you know, like they used to deliver meat. Yeah, what else do you lose, though? Have you both still got yours, by the way, your appendix? Yeah, that's something I worry about, though. Well, that's a good question.

Have you still got it, Frank? I don't know. I don't know. How can you tell? Well, you'd know if you'd had it taken out? No, I don't think. I have still got it, yeah. Still got your tonsils? Yeah.

Okay. Have you? Yeah. Okay. Glad we claved that up. It's good. I'm glad we know that. I wouldn't want to be what one of us hadn't got them. And then I think the whole power balance for the rest of the podcast would have toppled.

Yeah, soon I'd be saying, well, what do you know about him? I didn't fucking miss a no appendix. Start looking down. Like, when we were it here before? I didn't say this at the time, but, you know, it loosens the lips, this podcast. Oh, dear.

Emily knocked a glass of water over on the table. And if I see people knock a drink over, I know I will never fully respect them ever again. So I always think, why didn't you see that? What's going on? Sorry, I might get over it. You must have not one over.

Have you never knocked one over? Never. There you go. Next question. I'll tell you what I did do. I went to the barbers this week. Oh, did you? Did you have had a little haircut?

Do you want to finish the Australian? Oh, yes. No, I'll tell you. I'll take it the barbers. I'll come back to this time. Then we'll see something else and it'll be like layer cake. Yes. So that's a sense.

The second week I've mentioned layer cake, I think, on the truck, but it was a Pond, Star Wars Pond last time, so that's all right. So I went to the barbers and it was busy, my regular barbers. But a new barbers has opened up the road and I thought, well, I feel quite loyal to my regular barber, but I thought, you know, if you're going to be busy when I need a haircut, you've broken the deal. When you say busy then, do you book online or do you just...

No, no, I turn up. Well, then, I mean, it's fair, reasonable. That's probably a sign of a good hairdresser that they can't just accommodate you, maybe. I like to think that my trade has kept them going during the lean years, and now they're doing well, I can't get in. Is that fair? No.

So, anyway, I went to this other man, which is empty, and he was, he was doing. I have a fade, you know, and I have it quite, I like it really bold at the ends. He likes it a bit, I don't know, but I've been told. Yeah, I really like that. Yeah, I like... US Army.

Yeah, like I've come back from... I'm on leave. So, anyway, he was... It's a great feeling when the clippers go on your neck. You wouldn't know, Robert, trust me on me. No, back in the day, I used to be all over that, yeah. So it was like... And then I...

There was this... And I thought... What was it? And I felt my, I wear a cross around my neck. I felt it drop down my. Oh. And what he'd done is he'd clip my chain. Wow.

And it had just snapped. Off the necklace? Yeah. Jesus. So he'd clip the chain on my neck. I could have been your throat. So, well, I thought about that. So he said, what was that?

And he said, what? I don't know what happened there. And I thought, well, I'm guessing, because it happened behind me. But I said, you must have caught it with the clippers. He said, well, I've been a barber 28 years. I've never done it before. Oh, dear. And then he got very apologetic about it and said, you know, I'm sorry about that.

And I'll get it fixed for you. And I said, you know, thanks. And he said, I mean, look at it positively. He said it could have broken when you were just walking around and you could have lost it. And I thought,

no, it couldn't have because nobody would have been clipping it. Yeah. And it was a bit, he sort of took, he said I'll take it away and get it fixed.

And then I thought, is he going to give me a bill when I come back and say this how much? So I sent my P.A. in to get it yesterday. I couldn't face him. So you've got it back?

No. So I've got it back. Look, here it is. Has it been fixed properly? Well, I think so. He said he was going to take... He said, I'm going to take it to a gold shop. That's what he said to me.

I don't know what that is. Well, look at those buy gold places. They're like a gold shop. What is it? Chaucer's Britain. Let me go and see the old alchemist. He took me to the gold shop. How long were you, apart from your chain and cross?

About a week. No way to talk about care. Actually, 10 days. Did you feel it's absence or? Can I be honest with you? You didn't. When I was shaving and stuff, I thought, I'm glad that's not hanging around. Suck it off.

I felt I was freed. He felt liberated. You got a burden around you. I do think his reaction is interesting, though, that he sort of look on the bright side. Yeah. It's sort of like a thief telling you, look on the bright. Outside. No, but there was an inference.

When they're on the crosses as well, isn't it? But the inference was that it just happened. Right. Because it, you know, it could have just happened when I was walking. It was an act of God. But he said, like, I've been doing it for 28 years. And I said, well, I've been having my hair cock for like 60 years. And it's never happened to me.

So, you know, let's just accept this was a pretty remarkable event. Now that he's returned it in one piece. I think, I mean, you're better place than me to have a look, but it seems, Rob. No, no, it seems fine. It seems fine. So, would I go back? Yeah. But when I go back, I'm going to take the cross off before I go in, because...

This is no house of God. There's no sense in just, you know, throwing Jesus under the boss, as it is. which is probably the title of Rob's next collection of poetry. Throwing Jesus under the bus. Oh, speaking of poetry, can I read you a stanza of poetry? You can. We do have to go back to Shane at one point. No, we will, but I want to read you this because I read this poem,

and I thought, I'd love to know what, Rob, because he's a poet, and Emily, because she's Emily, thinks of this. This is just one line. It's by a poet called Ross Sutherland. Oh, yeah, I know, Ross, yeah. And he wrote a poem called Richard Branson. Do you know it? No.

Okay. And this is the stanza. So you're ready for this, Emily? A millionaire's hairstyle is trapped in the era they first made their money. Oh, I love that. I love that. It's good, isn't it? That's absolutely brilliant.

It's a poem about Richard Branson, where obviously, it's very, very, very true. But I was trying to think of... Donald Trump, perhaps? Yeah. I mean, inherited wealth, obviously, but still, trapped in the era when he first became something. Yeah. That's so brilliant. Yeah, but why would that be?

Is it like, is it luck? You know, that was my lucky time, so I'll stick with my lucky hairstyle. What about Jeff Bezos, you know? He's bald, isn't it? Yeah, but, you know... Well, people do often say... God intervened. You stay the age you are. Was it Oprah Winfrey who said that when you got famous?

Did she? Yes. So how old that makes you 30? That makes me 30. Yeah. But you know with 30, I think you might as well be 60 if you're 30. What? I think that 30, people describe themselves as young when they're 30.

I laugh out loud. He hates it when people do that. No, 30, that is, you know, you're the other side of the mountain. Do you remember when I had that rule, Frank, and I might have said it to a previous employer here. I'm afraid you can't say I'm only 27. Once you get to 27, I'm only, you can't say that. I don't mind 27, but 30.

You definitely can't say I'm only 30. Fucking 30. Fuck off hour of my sight and die. Oh, Frank, you take it too far now. No, it is old, though. It was probably a life expectancy. I don't feel any old. I remember when me and a bunch of mates was all hitting 30 together

and people started doing fucking sit-ups and stuff in a mad panic and they were going to be 30. My and mine bought some pixie boots. Do you remember those? Oh, not how old were they? I split up with a woman I'd been going out with for a long time. I returned to the Catholic Chasel. We all went fucking Barmer, you know, because we're 30 now. We might as well just go mad and jump on the pyre.

Pixie boots. No, I don't remember them. I'm only 43. Oh. Millionaires with same hair. Phil Specter kept the same hair? Oh, no, he's a bit unfortunate. We better not talk about him. But he bought the hair, didn't he? He bought the hair that he had. See, Jeff Bess, that could have done that.

Yeah. We should say he kept the hair he always had. Do you think he was his hair? I bet when men go bald, I bet they think, I got obviously I'd kept the hair when it fell out. Then I could have my own hair wig. And they don't go bald anymore, which is great for them. Because obviously that's why you don't see the bald footballers. Transplant at 21.

I kept my first beard in a jam jar. I've still got it. Did you? Yeah. I've got some of my son's first haircut in a jar. And that is prize hair. Yeah, well, it's a good quality hair. It's a very ginger hair.

But, yeah. I think that's a nice thing. I bet you wish you kept that ring. Yeah. Yeah. It's too late now. Anyway, back to... I love the millionaire hair thing.

Back to Tasmania. Yes. Yes. Well done, Ross Sutherland. Back to Shane in Hobart, Tasmania. So he's come across a vendor selling pictures of you hosting the Brits. He wants to know... I looked a bit reform.

when I hosted the Brits. I had like a Union Jack shirt on. Did you? Yeah, it was a sort of, supposed to be a sort of an echo of Jerry's dress. I think it meant something slightly different then, didn't it? Yeah, because it was Brit pop and Brit art and Brit.

It was more Vanity Fair Oasis. It was a bit more benign, I think, perhaps. Yeah, because there was Liam Gallagher in bed with a Union Jack duvet. Yeah. And Patsy Kenza. Union Jack Minis. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, it was less... It was less flags in Kent. It was... Yeah. Would he like... Would Frank... Is that okay?

We okay with that? I think so. Okay, let's hope so. Would he like me, because he's keen to buy it? Yeah. Would you like a copy of this photo, Frank? Sent to you from Tasmania.

Why would you want a... copy of that. It's inescapable, my presenting of the Brits. Do you know about the Brits, Rob? Yeah. Do you know about Frank presenting it? No. Oh, no.

I died on my ass basically. Oh, Frank. Well, you're presenting an award? No, I presented the entire show. Oh, wow. God, that is a big gig, isn't it? He was really good on it, honestly. Made a lot of basic errors.

Oh, I think you're so hard on yourself, Frank. Who's the woman who did, uh, The Brits with you, Zoe Ball. No, no. The murder on the dance law. Sophia Ellis Bexter. Yeah, see, she came up and I said, why the white face? Oh, thank you.

I know. It was a different time. It was a different time. The Union Jat was all right. You could abuse women in public. No, no, you couldn't actually. Don't want that wrong. No, anyway, you know, I've staggered on.

I don't think I've ever regained my plan. in the British public's heart. I think so. I think it was eternally damaging. No, the MBE did a lot of work. The MBE did nothing. Let's face it. Oh, God, Frank. Anyway, I don't want the picture of it.

Shane, get out. But thanks a kind offer. Would you like a sign photo of Tasman, a man who discovered Tasmania? I doubt a such thing exists. Certainly not a photo. That's unlikely. I don't think he's on a lot of.

Mr. Tasman. Thanks for your offer, Shane. Tasman sounds like a superhero, doesn't it? Yeah. We used to say Tasin around, so I suppose he could be like the flash. Tasman.

We don't live in the black country but people said how what his superpower was. Taz, is Taz short for something? No, I think we just, we always said, oh, you know, we'll Taz over to, blah, blah, blah. Right, right, right. Like Bezzing almost, no. What's Bezzing?

Is that after Bezzing? Is that after Bezzing? Is it's just going somewhere quickly. Yeah. Exactly the same thing. Is that because of Bez? I doubt he's ever been anywhere quickly unless he was on amphetamine.

I was going to say. Yeah. Although they do hurry about the droggies. I've noticed that. Yes. They scurry. I always say, when are they scurrying? What, the Anorat ones?

The ones with the, you know, the ones with the tracky bottoms and baseball caps. They always are on their way somewhere in an absolute task. I don't ask. Looking almost furtive. Fertive, they do. They do that well. God bless them, though.

Our brother's in drugs. So listen. I love that Diastrates album. The next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days is out on Saturday. And we'll be in 2013, can you believe it? And this time, Emily has thrown me under the boss at Royal Ascot. I don't think they'd have a bus there, would be under the carriage at Royal Ascot. It's the Frank Skinner podcast.

A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via Frank Off the Radio at avalonuK.com.