The Frank Skinner Show - Three Sheds

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

David Baddiel joins Frank and Emily! David discovers something about Frank he'd never known before. There's also chat about flat tyres, non-Hollywood teeth and Mummy Pig. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o, and the one with the French name, from South Africa came. They're all here, open brackets, hooray! Close brackets today. I hurt myself today. I caught my hand in like a kitchen drawer. No, this is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and guess what? David Baddiel is with us today. I know what you're thinking, too big, but no, he's here. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram.

You can email the podcast via frankofftheradio.com or you can WhatsApp us on altogether now 07457 417 769 07457 417 769 Good morning to you both. Hello. I'm really excited to have David here. Are you? Yeah. Frank Frank's looking less excited. No, well you know, just calm happiness. I mean he lives in my road. It's not that bigger. I've told you before I find your friendship immensely wholesome by the way, I saw You were getting rid of An anthology of American folk songs. I think on your war was like yeah Oh, I passed Dave's house and there's like books and trinkets for the poor. We hold out for the poor, but that's not me.

That would have been someone else in my house who would have made the executive decision he doesn't want this book. American folk songs. When was the last time you sang, this land is your land? Not recently. That's the last time Dave sat at the piano and went, freak dream, freak dream, going so fair. Yes, anyway, I was tempted actually.

No, you should take it. I mean, actually, in terms of our road, which we do live on together, are the listeners aware of this? Yes. They are? Okay. Are they aware of the fact that it's the second time? Because we used to live together for years when we were doing fantasy football and unplanned. And then I think with some bitterness from Frank, I decided that we weren't going to be like more than twice. He got a girlfriend. Were you a bit upset?

You know when it happens at school, a mate gets a girlfriend you don't see so much of them, you know what I mean? And they get mention items. I actually had a girlfriend while we were living together. Yeah but that was alright. Frank wasn't my girlfriend just to be clear. But I did decide I'm going to move out, I should grow up, and I moved to a place called England's Lane, number one.

Was that Vialli's house? Or is that something else? No, Vialli tried to buy the house I bought, but we had to toss a lot of it. Well, that's unfortunately the beginning of the story I'm telling, although my house, I now have to do a sidebar, was Roland Orzeb, of tears for fears, his house. Oh my goodness. Around about the time he was running the world, or that's Jews. Anyway. Whereas Gianna Lucovi-Harley was just running Chelsea.

So Dave could have had the manager of Chelsea live in two doors, why instead he had me. Well, what happened was, I bought number one, and then about, I don't know, it was probably about a year later, Frank bought house number five Because clearly he thought no no, I'm not having this I'm not having him moving away from me And so that was lovely He was lovely that Frank lived in my road and then I moved away from that house and bought the house where I have now I'm not gonna give the numbers Basically, they bought a house about still the same road about 20 houses down. it's like a really expensive form of stalking. Yes it's immensely touching though. It is touching

actually I do love it I love it that Frank drops around sometimes with his dog sometimes just less with the dog as Dave's got about nine cats. Yes that's true but let me tell a story that involves our road to some extent and about being here Shall we sit cross-legged on the floor? It's not gonna take that long Okay, we don't have a fire side together. It's a very good example Uncle Dave Of how you'll know this about me that most of my stories involve failure on my part to sort of Negotiate normal life. There's a lot of that and it just is real in my life

So I've got to say you got a lot of that and it just is real in my life. I've got to say you've got a lot of stories about your success as well. That too. But nonetheless, this morning I forgot that I was meant to take my car to the garage and I thought, oh God, I'll be late for Frank's show. Please tell me you just turned up at the garage without it. That would have been brilliant. That would have been extraordinary. And then just wandered off and said, okay, I'll see you later.

That would have been amazing. But no, what happened was I thought I'm going to be late. So I decided to put my Brompton, I have a Brompton fold up bicycle that I virtually never use. Is that the one I bought you? Did you buy me that? Yeah. I bought you one to go to Chelsea game because you said parking was quite difficult It was quite difficult. I said you should support West Brom You can get there at 10 for throwing a park outside the gate

Well, I think I also said it'd be great because I can get off the train and cycle Yes that was the plan. I did do that for a bit. You've forgotten I bought it. I look forward to seeing it on your garden wall any time soon I'll pick that up. Well it nearly happened this morning because I thought I know what I'll do to get back quicker from the garage which is in Belsize Park Walkable from our house. I love that you've told us that detail. But I thought I need to get back a bit quicker. I'll put the Brompton off, which I hardly ever use, I'll put that in the back of the car, I'll give the bloke the car and then I'll cycle back, right? The problem with a car is that the tyres are getting all flat for no apparent reason. They're not actually got punctures, they're just sort of very slow, weird, going down-ness, right?

Yeah, I know, I know. You can identify with that. Okay, well, in life. Just steady, slow, going down rather than any actual injury. My Tesla has a kind of mortality issue. My Tesla? It's a Tesla, right? So, I give it to this bloke. They didn't know then. I didn't know he had a Tesla, Frank.

Yeah. He looks at the tyres, he says, oh, okay, I think I can sort didn't know then. I didn't know he had a Tesla, Frank. Yeah. He looks at the tyres, he says, okay, I think I can sort this out, whatever. I get the Brompton out of the car, and I'm thinking it's getting late, and I get, I finally unfold the Brompton, which is quite difficult, I'm not very good at it, and I start moving and the tyres on the Brompton are completely flat. Completely flat. I've gone to the garage to sort out the tyres on my car and the tires on my fold-up bike are completely flat I hadn't bought the jacket, but isn't that the best place to get flat tires? Couldn't that couldn't you fill them up? I was so embarrassed about it. I went for quite a long way down England's Lane

Thinking can I just get home on the flat tires because I'm sort of too embarrassed to go back Yeah, you can say now you have to fill up, as well as sort my car, the tyres on my bike. But eventually, yes, I went back to Mitch's, if you're listening, Mitch, and said, sorry, do you mind actually sorting out not just the tyres on my car, but the tyres on my bike. So I did manage to get home, but then when I got to the bottom of our road, I was too tired. Not tired as in made of tyres.

So many tyres going on in the store. To get up the hill of our road. What? So I got off and I just wheeled the bike. Oh that's absolutely awful. Yeah. See anything good on the walls on your way up? No there was nothing until I got to my wall and I left the bike there. Yeah okay. As your wall burned. There wasn't any breathing apparatus that had been put out you could have employed. No, there wasn't. So I got here in time on my other bike, which is an e-bike, now I got here on my other bike, which you all know, obviously, Frank,

because you've watched it religiously, is the bike I use on Two Men on a Bike. Oh, I thought it was those teddy bear things from Star Wars. What are they? A very wax. Carry on. I hate it when I have to actually explain. Oh god. Do you put stuff out on your wall or is it the rest of your family?

Occasionally I put stuff out on the wall but I'm not very good with throwing stuff out. Use that Japanese you'll know. Marikondo. Yes, I'm not very married condo. No. Because she says like, if you don't actually need it, then just get rid of it. Well, isn't her thing, it needs to,

you need to hold it in your hand, both of you. I do that. Oh, David. I'm sorry. And you need to say, does, hold it in your hand and say, David, stop it. I feel the next bit is gonna to work with it as well. Okay, yes it is, you're not wrong. You need to hold it in your hand and say, does this bring me joy? Well exactly, so it doesn't anymore. Yes, I can't read Marie Kondo because I'm Catholic.

But what was it that William Morris said? He said, look at everything you own and ask if you know it to be practical or believe it to be beautiful. And if neither of those pass, you have to get rid of it. Yes. And then put up a lot of florid wallpaper. Which I do like his prints, may I just say. Oh, it's all right, he's not listening. Not shading.

I went to an interview with Michael Landy. do you know who that is? I know Michael Landy. He's the artist. Okay. Okay, now I thought it was the bloke in Little House on the Prairie. Michael Landy. That's Michael Landon. Oh, Michael Landon. Very good. Michael Landon. He sells fruit now in the market in South East London. Michael Landon. So yes, not him. Michael Landy is the sort of conceptual artist and he did this thing of getting rid of everything he owned.

Right. I mean everything. Not just getting rid of it, someone gave him like a warehouse space or a disused shop in Oxford Street and you could go and watch his possessions being destroyed. Was he naked? I don't know what happened about his clothes. When you said, I mean everything, then he should be naked. Well, they had things like he got his birth certificate and his passport shredded. Right. Really? And they didn't just smash him.

You could go in and watch the bristles being removed from his toothbrush. Wow. And stuff like that. But he did the whole thing, closed. That's a good point. I hadn't thought of that. So he sort of... Oh, wish he'd been there. Becoming a non-citizen. He got rid of a lot of... He said 7,227 possessions he destroyed. And none of them went on his wall outside in Oxford Street. No, well they might have done, but in ash form. See, that seems a little bit unfair because I think the idea, which my wife, Maewhenner, is very keen on, is that by putting stuff on the wall, as Frank says really for the

poor, we are helping people who might think, oh I need a Brompton or I need a bristly toothbrush. Or an anthology of American folk. Exactly, that's what I've been looking for. I've seen some blokes up there in check shirts and guitars who've just jumped off the train at the bottom where they've been riding illegally. But where do you draw the line between, as you say, helping the needy and fly-tipping, which is illegal? Yeah, well we don't actually have a skip outside our house and I think if we did have then that would be clear But I think this raises another issue which is I've just been on holiday And I've just been on holiday on with more winner by ourselves Which is the first time we've gone out on holiday by ourselves since we've had children

Because they don't really want to come on holiday with us anymore But more importantly and the issue I raise is perhaps a vulgar one, but hey, it's fine I think it's particularly fine on this podcast. We have money. We have some money and We want to spend it before we die Basically, they've got from the needy to the knee deep Can we please just have the trailer of David saying we have money? It's fine. You've worked hard. Yeah, we have some money and we want to spend it. You've changed the world as well. Thank you. Made it laugh and then changed it. But meanwhile, so I said let's stop like you know worrying about this and go and

spend a bit of money on quite an expensive holiday for a week and push. He's been working incredibly hard for a long time. So she... In case people don't know, Dave's wife is Mwenna Banks, who has written a lot of the stuff. Basically, she's written everything on television that my brother-in-law hasn't written. That's correct. She writes Slow Horses. She's one of the writers on Slow Horses, and she wrote a series called Funny Woman. That's my love. She's writing presently, and has been working for ages on The Sister Show to Slow Horses with Emma Thompson and Ruth Wilson. Please say it's called Fast Horses.

It's not. And let's not forget the voice of... Yes, well this is the point. I think she's flogging a slow horse. Something she's not in love with, but yes, she is indeed the voice, she is mummy pig. And for years I have said that's complicated for a Jewish bloke, but I think I can't do that joke again on here. I have to put inverted commas around. I think you're the only one on here who's going to do Jewish jokes. Yes, that's true. Actually, you may know this, I'm now slightly

putting into storage the holiday. Don't worry, it's is I'm still committed to the holidays is the other day I was at my computer and a news alert came up saying that mommy pig was pregnant and I did in fact write on Twitter fucking first I've heard of it because I hadn't she hadn't told me and I had no idea how old is mommy pig then how How old is Pepper Pig? I've always thought Pepper Pig was sort of... I thought she was early 30s. I think Mummy Pig is early 30s. No I'm on about Pepper Pig. Pepper Pig? Oh Pepper. She's been on. About 20, 25 years or something. Oh, one of those failure to launch children. So it's like one of the late pregnancies where you think oh we needn to bother with using that anymore.

I read somewhere that there was a sort of controversy about Mummy Pig announcing that she was pregnant because the newspaper said, well, what will parents tell their children? You know, like parents can't tell their children about sex or something. And then I read someone saying, yeah, we spoke about it to my daughter. And my and my daughter said oh I guess there's a new character in Peppa Pig that's it that was the conversation. Well one I mean I'm anticipating a litter. It might be a litter yeah. Suddenly there'll be an extra seven kids. One of the things I think about Mummy Pig and I could ask Mummy Pig about this is that she tends- You don't call her that, do you? Only in bed. Oh, baby.

I think she doesn't generally- That's disgusting. I think it's an anthropomorphic pig. It's certainly as far as gynecology goes, or obstetrics goes, she doesn't have, is my point, multiple litters. No. She tends to have single children. No.

Yeah. Which I know is possible for a pig. There's another thing as well, she speaks. Yeah, she also speaks. That's another clue to the anthropomorphic angle. I think she also doesn't walk on four legs. It's all really things. I can't believe we're discussing the gynaecology. Sounds like she's been on four legs of light. Oh no, I'm so sorry say Six Senses. Do you

know that? Of course I know that. Of course you know them. The Six Senses, they're like the Four Seasons. Posh hotels have to have numbers in them for some reason. Clearly at Six Senses they thought we've got to be better than Four Seasons. What could we be? Six Cents. Their slogan is I see rich people coming. Exactly. Have you been to Six Cents? No, I haven't.

Have you been to Four Seasons? I don't know what it means. Is it a place or...? No, it's just a hotel brand. Where is it? Four Seasons. Well, the one I went to, there's lots of them, but the one I went to was in Portugal, was in the Douro Valley in Portugal. But here's what I want to raise. I'll have to look through my condo-nast traveller back issues. Mary Condo-nast. Marie. Anyway, here's what I want to raise for the group. We went there with this mortality thing, like we're going to we're gonna do it it's fine. What's the mortality thing? I said that we're

gonna die soon we've got to spend our money. It's not a tax thing it's just purely thinking our kids are gonna be fine they already are gonna be pretty well off. Oh my god, I mean is John Wiley and I telling you more about a lot of a lot of the people listening to what's in shop doorways? Well I'll make them feel better. Is it like sort of top man radio? We have for these cars like you get on pole in day coming around broadcasting. Anyway I feel I can speak about this with you, you've done-up about having come into money. And actually, this is my point that we're going to come to, because this is not about coming from money.

This is the whole point. Is that when we got there, it was lovely, it was really nice, but the food was also really expensive. And we found ourselves, despite having this impulse, like, come on, let's do it, let's enjoy ourselves, smuggling breakfast food up to our room and on one occasion actually going out to a corner shop And then putting it in a plastic bag that we had to smuggle through the lobby in fact They'd given us a posh wicker basket to sort of swan around with by the pool And we put the plastic bag of sort of

wine and cheap bread and cheese and that so that we could smuggle it up to our room and we just couldn't do it we couldn't carry on the thing and Morena uses a phrase which I think would definitely be true of her and I do want to bring this up which is we are poor children even if we are rich adults we are poor children and this is what are rich adults, we are poor children. And this is what I particularly want to bring up with Frank, is when I have conversations, which I sometimes do, with comedians often, or just people, about who do we know who had a properly deprived childhood, who basically is properly working class,

I always say Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner had a properly extraordinarily fuck-off deprived jar dude. He had basically, you know, the bath only had coal in it, he had an... No, newspapers as well. Yeah, and I think the flame in your kitchen that was just an open flame that was the sort of... Well, the cooker was in the bathroom and in that place there was a bar that you pulled out, it was like a pipe, and just an actual naked flame came out for light and warmth. Yeah, so that sounds like something from 1927, not from 1961, doesn't it? Also do you remember when R. Terry got a toothbrush and Frank Stead said, oh he's changed, he's getting a new station.

We've lost him. It's like Terry going to the six senses getting a tooth break But I there is one other person who I could put up against Frank Skinner in this kind of Monty Python You know we have to live in a septic tank and it is more Wenner Banks Yeah, because more Wenner represents something else which is rural poverty. She's from Cornwall. Her dad was a fisherman. He died when she was six. And she told me something, we talked about this on holiday that I didn't know, which is that she had to sleep in a room. It's a great holiday. Smuggling breakfast up to your room and talking about the death of your poor relatives.

She had to sleep in a room with her three brothers, her two brothers, right? You're gonna get to a premiere and talk about rich people and nice things. But this is a thing that I that she had to sleep in a room with her brothers then she had to sleep with her mom. Well, that's like you slept in a room with her brothers. Yeah. Yes Yes, but here's the thing that I think might be you. Had an owl. Here's the thing that I think might be you. He had an owl in the actual room. My brother had an owl. He had an owl on the wardrobe. An actual owl? Yes. Yes.

Like in Harry Potter? Yeah. Well, in a cage that was... So it didn't fly out and become a wizard? No, but what happened was that... You had an owl? Yeah, my brother was a... Which brother?

Terry. Oh, Terry. Terry was very much into wildlife. You had a toothbrush and owl. Yeah, I know. He... You had lost him. He was something of a rebel.

But didn't the owl used to speak? Yeah I know. He was something of a rebel. But didn't the owl used to speak? Other owls used to come and sit on the trees outside and screech all night at our owl. What was the tribe communicating? Yeah, it was like a rooftop protest about it being in prison. What was Terry's owl called? I don't think he ever named it. They don't name animals. What are you talking about? I've got four cats, they've all got names. I know but they're not wild animals. This is something he managed to sort of drag out of the air. So it was Harry Potter. Okay well this is what I'm gonna put to you. We had a jackdaw as well which I also think is not supposed to keep us at bay. I don't know about the jackdaw! How did Terry attract birds?

Obviously St Francis. No, he had various, he had what he used to call a thing that men used to make in those days at work. People used to make stuff when they had like lunchtime. They'd use materials at work and make things. And people used to make these things called trap cages. And they're a cage with food or with another bird in it. And as the bird flies in, the door shots behind it,

it's on like a spring thing. And then you've got a wild bird caught. But you're not supposed to do that, should we? No, no. Should we? The RSPB will be furious. I never said we didn't know then! Okay, so that's incredible. We ate most of them. Oh, Frank. That's incredible, I didn't know. Did you ever hear about the owl? Actually, I've known you for so long and heard so many stories

about your early life, I didn't know that Terry had an owl. Well, you're saying... And that's a sentence I wasn't expecting to say. Frank slept with the owl every night in this room. I don't sleep with it. Well so Mawena, this is where I'm going to try and get Mawena to actually beat your level of deprivation. I'm not, really it's not a contest. Well it's not but I'm interested in making it so just for the sake of this podcast. Which is that you had a garden.

I know this because your dad set fire to the shed in it. Three sheds. Three sheds, that's a lot of garden. Well one was a pigeon loft, but there's no pigeons. Not an owl loft. No, no. No wonder there were no pigeons in it, they left in protest. They were probably.

They were probably. In your room. They were taken out of the air by the owl. We're not staying here. The owl had wardrobe rights. Yeah it's on top of the wardrobe. Anyway you had a garden with three sheds in it. By the way people who don't know these stories will think hang on did David Baddiel just say your dad set fire to the shed? He did. My dad, what happened was he asked my mom and our Terry to take him a bet. And they wouldn't go to the... Take him a what, sorry?

A bet. You know, to go to the bookie office. Oh, like people who bet, yeah. Because his argument was, if I have to go out, I'm going to put my suit on. If I put my suit on, I'll have to get drunk. This story I know. Okay. Yeah.

So they didn't, and the horses won and so he dragged two sheds and a pigeon loft into the middle of the garden and set fire. Thank God the pigeons had gone. Yeah. Anyway, so there we are, you had a garden. I remember standing at the window and literally the woman next door said the lace curtains had singed up her window. The heat was so intense. Can I point out though, lace curtains? Come on up her window. The heat was so intense. Can I point out though, lace curtains? Come on! None of those in Mulwenna's village. Anyway. So I'll just say, I remember standing in the window as my dad set fire to all this. And we were like, agape at this thing was happening.

I like to hear that the owl was watching as well thinking I never liked those pigeons the owl's thinking time to be moving on we just watched like in silent horror and my brother broke the silence Keith by saying my cricket bat's in that chair okay so anyway in itself is a fantastic story but the point I wanted to make is that Moenna didn't even have a garden. It was a house, it wasn't a flat, they had a tiny house in a tiny village called Flushing,

they didn't have a garden. I said, well, you had no outside space, they had a tiny yard, but there was no room to play in it because she said there was an outside toilet, a washing line, and then a coal scuttle. And then she said, and this is what I wanted to tell you, in the coal scuttle, there was an outside toilet a washing line and then a coal scuttle and then she said and this is what I wanted To tell you in the coal scuttle. There was coal but there was also a cannonball from the Spanish Armada Shin bone from a monk who had apparently lived in a monastery with the venerable beat Wow I did Hexham. Yeah, I knew you would like that Wow extraordinary I did Hexham, yeah. I knew you would like that. Wow. Extraordinary. It's an interesting place to go. You get relics at Colescottle.

Yeah, well apparently it had come there in some weird way via a dad who had died. Her dad's brother-in-law had brought it when he died or something. All the North Eastern saints traveling, I think Saint Cuthbert's head traveled independently of him for years after he died. Well, for a sort of tax reason. Exactly. I can understand that. Cuthbert, the head is not the same person. Yeah, they had to split it down into two, three senses instead of all six.

Petrol receipts was very complicated. So where do you place yours, just out of interest? Well, I have this conversation with a friend of mine who I do another podcast with called Tim Hinks. Oh, he's lovely. Well, we try and prove to each other. I should say, in case anyone's interested, Dave and Tim Hinks do a David Bowie. Well, we do a podcast called Stalking Time for the Moon Boys a David Bowie. Well we do a podcast

called Stalking Time for the Moon Boys which Bowie aficionados will know is a lyric from the Beulah brothers but actually it's sort of become a podcast where the game is are we even gonna mention David Bowie at all. I've done I've done many other people when people do a themed podcast I think eventually that theme is gonna get a bit thin. Oh, dare you! But what we talk about is which one of us is the more lower middle class. Right. Because I have no aspiration.

And by the way, I think it is a sort of aspiration because when I was talking to Mo Wenner, I did say, oh, I might talk about this when she told me about the Venerable Beat and his shin bone. I thought I have to talk about this on Frank's podcast. And then she got a bit worried. She's very private, Mo Wenner, and said, oh said I don't know if my brothers will like you talking about how poor we are. That's the problem you see. It's alright with it but our Nora is not so keen on it. I think if you've sort of gone off and been a showbiz star it's quite cool to talk your book, but for a lot of people it's something that you want to keep quiet. But that's interesting, that is genuinely interesting because she said this about her brothers and I thought but in the

modern world, in like my kids, whatever, and the world, the thing that they're embarrassed about is privilege. Most people are like check your privilege and they really don't want to talk about coming from any kind of privileged background. So really one of the reasons that I sort of do like to talk about this at some level is When I started on the cabaret circuit, there were all these blokes. They were always blokes Pretending to be from deprived backgrounds and very working class or whatever and then I met Frank and I thought what are you talking about? Mark Thomas, right? What are you talking about? Kevin Day? I'm sorry, I'm just going to say it out loud. But you are sort of the real thing and you didn't go on about it.

Well, I don't know. I remember someone saying, I'm not going to name names, it's had a timeout, first job on a building site. I said, I think it was to Joe Brand. I said, I didn't know he worked on a building site. He said oh I said to I think it was to Joe Brann I said I didn't know he worked on a building site said his dad owned it yes I know who that is, I think I've said his name already but we could cut it I remember I once said to my mum I said mum are we middle class and she said no we're classless darling right but only a very very posh person would say that

well that's what I said and when I later told a boyfriend that story he did say I think the darling rather answers the question. Well Boz asked me what class we were and I quoted from that Ian Dewey biopic when he asked his mom and he says are we working class or middle class? She says no dear we're arts and crafts. Yes. So there we are, that's what we were talking about on holiday and it was being born out by the fact that we couldn't quite do that thing of like, yeah, yeah, let's just spend and spend for a lovely time. Yes. Can I change the subject? Sure. Somewhat, although this sort of fits in.

It was my nephew's ninth birthday at the weekend. This isn't the nephew's night. It's not the nephew who had never seen spaghetti bolognese and was a bit horny. No, no. It is the nephew who said something brilliant about a baked potato. It's the nephew who, this is Elia, who said, what's an interesting fact about you? And he said, I'm frightened of jacket potatoes. Yeah, that's an interesting fact about you? And he said, I'm frightened of jacket potatoes. Yeah, it is an interesting fact. But we bought him for his birthday. And so I wasn't involved in the actual technique.

Kath tells me she contacted the person who makes the gladiators outfits on, not in the Ridley Scott no no in the television in the television the Bradley waltz yeah I'm gonna tell you something about Bradley waltz Bradley and Barney I think you'll find yeah Barnes is that his son yeah they do it so you think on you and Ezra could be presenting a popular game show. Yep, but we're not. Anyway. I can't see you doing gladiators.

So, Kath, I mean she's told, I'm assuming this is true, she contacted the people who make their costumes and said could you make one for my nine-year-old nephew. And so that was his birthday present. Wow, so he's got an actual, has he given himself a bespoke name? Furnace. Furnace? I love Furnace. What's his theme? Don't they have a theme the gladiator? Well Furnace. Fire. Fire right. He said it in a slightly odd way. I'll be honest with you, when he said it I didn't think you said furnace. I thought you said it was like a lock in Scotland. The barrow in furnace. That's his theme barrow in furnace. I thought you said it was like a lock in Scotland. The barrowing furnace. That's his theme, barrowing furnace. Just the general Scottish gritty

aggression. Or Lord furnace. That's his main theme. He does a little like a little sword dance with his hands raised when they cut to him on the programme. Was there a tiny moment when Kath thought, I can use this as a way of making your nephew challenge his phobia of jacket potatoes? Why, by calling him Furnace? No, not Furnace.

No, maybe his theme should be jacket potato, basically. And he should be like, jacket potato. And he uses Matt Lucas's theme, his jacket potato song. Do you know that? I don't know that. Yeah. How does it go? Do you know the song? But the thing, then, would have brought him a jacket, surely, right?

A jacket made out of potatoes. I mean, I've never been... What a disappointing gift. I've never been happy with the term Jacket Potatoes, because it's a suit, isn't it? What do you mean? Oh, I see. The potato is wearing a suit.

It's more of a onesie, I think you'll find. It's a strange thing, because I saw a clip this morning and if you've been watching white lotus, yeah Okay. Well, let's not go into white lotus but because I want to talk about severance, but maybe Not maybe next next week. Yeah, but I watched Dave will be back on the next oh, he'll be back Yeah, I watch what I figured if they're still listening at this stage It means they're liking it. But Amy-Lou Wood, who is the woman, you know, she's got big teeth and whatever, she's kind of a star from White Lotus.

Yes. I happened to be a woman with big teeth. Yeah, I was a bit worried about that. She'd be in Slow Horses. But that, I want, this is another thing, but you know, there's a whole movement towards non-Hollywood teeth. Congratulations. Oh, my time has come.

Did you not know about Amy Lewin? It's like, I mean she's a good actress, but to some extent she has become a star because of her teeth, which are very prominent and the whole thing is we wouldn't in, you know, 20 years ago have allowed that, but now we can see that she's- I'm holding out for a venerable bead biopic for my teeth to come into their own. Absolutely perfect. James Cameron presents. Anyway, the thing I wanted to say, which is a strange coincidence, is because I watch White Lotus,

it comes up on the algorithm on my phone and there was a scene from a show, I don't know what it was, with her and David Morrissey in which she's playing David Morrissey's daughter and they're having an argument about Jackie Potato and David Morrissey in which she's playing David Morrissey's daughter and having an argument about jacket potatoes in a Market in which he says I will have some jacket potatoes and then she says okay So said not those because they haven't got a jacket on She goes yes, they do. No, no, we've got a jacket on it should be leather and they have a big row about this And I'm watching thinking no one thinks that. You've created what you think is a comedy scene, whatever this programme is, on the basis that David Morrissey, who's

meant to be stupid and she's clever, has thought his whole life that jacket potatoes wear an actual jacket made of leather. Is it Sherwood? Wasn't he in Sherwood? No, he's not Sherwood. No, but he was in that. No, he's not Sherwood. I don't know, I've never seen Sherwood. Alright, let's not have an argument about that, okay? But it relates to Frank saying that it's not a jacket. It's a suit, which is correct

It's got a boiler suit, isn't it? Anyway, it's the it's the gladiators final tomorrow. Is it and Yeah, I'll tell you what they do on gladiators, you know this thing about How you make an audience cheer you say yeah, and what happens? I'm going to give it 120%! And I just thought, wouldn't it be great if one of them, and my gran would have been watching, but this week she died in a car crash! That intonation, I just wish an audience could regiment themselves to the point of saying saying I'm not being forced into this. Well I was at a charity event quite recently, I don't know that this will be funny, but anyway. We'll soon find out.

Yeah let's end on something really forceful. The Home Secretary did a speech, what's her name? Liz, the one who used to go, is she the one? Liz Kendall. Is it Liz Kendall? Yeah. Is she the one who used to go home? She's not the Home Secretary but he's thinking of Liz Kendall. No, no, who is the Home Secretary? Or when you were talking about Liz Kendall, when you said she was the Home Secretary. Is it Lisa Nandy there?

We don't know. She's the Culture Secretary. Who is the Home Secretary? I think she's the one who used to go out with Greg Davies. That's Liz Kendall. That's Liz Kendall. But I think, I thought she was pensioned. This is terrible. This is awful. She was a politician. I thought she was pension this is terrible Guys someone Google it I wish they would start it like that anyway anyway She was doing a speech at this charity event. It was a charity event We have Intel this news just in any politics fans listening. Evette Cooper, Evette Cooper Anyway she did a thing which is when she wanted a round of applause of just sort of raising her voice a bit Yeah, and saying things in threes that was sort of it

It was like and we will do this and this and this and after a while I thought are we supposed to just applaud because she's done that? But people all it works. It does work. You know there are some presenters whose made a career out of are you having a good time? Yeah, well, it's alright. Guys I'm so worried about the Home Secretary thing. Are we gonna put that out? We look awful. I'm fine with it. Are you okay with that? I think I's alright. Guys, I'm so worried about the Home Secretary thing. Where are you going to put that out? We look awful. I'm fine, really. Are you okay with that? I think I'm alright with it too. Are you?

Yeah, I don't. I'm going to be more like you two. Politics, I mean... Look, I voted for him. She wouldn't have that job if it wasn't for me. I also think that... I have to study as well. In the old days, there were Impressionists,

notably Mike Yardwood, but later on... I thought you were going to say Manor. How far back are we going? No, he never did James Callahan. No. Or painted him. I don't know. But anyway, and I think- I wish he did. When I was a kid, I knew who politicians were because Mike Yarlwood did Edward Heath.

Oh, is that why he did him? And then even later on, Rory Bremner. Spitting Image. Yeah and now there's nothing like that. Who does Yvette Cooper? No one does Yvette Cooper apart from Yvette Cooper. Maybe Ed Balls does a good Yvette Cooper. I've no idea.

But I think it makes it more difficult to know who politicians are. That's right we need Spitting Image. That there's no general satirical take anymore on politicians I've never thought that but that's why we had that problem. Do you think people who work on dead ringers? I think hold on we've been completely what you're doing that job. Yes. That's true. Anyway, look we need to move on I'll tell you about my Bradley wolf story on the next episode. I look forward to that It's brief, but I think it buys into the idea of rich man, poor man. Okay.

That you've brought up. I also think we could talk about the fact that you are in a parallel universe, Bradley Walsh. What? Oh, okay. I look forward to that. Goodbye. It's Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio, Frank of the Radio.

It's the Frank Skinnerner podcast don't you know. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradioatavalonuk.com