The Frank Skinner Show - Tim Key

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

Tim Key is our guest! Tim pops in and tells the team all about his new film, The Ballard of Wallis Island and his new poetry book, L.A. Baby! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio featuring him and that posh lady-o and the one with the French name from South Africa came. They're all here open brackets, hooray! Close brackets today. Hey, this is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Navelli and our special guest Tim Key. All over the nation people will be going our special guest Tim Key. All over the nation people will be going, I love Tim Key. Well can I say the gentleman who does our sound said exactly that before you came on. He says that about every guest. He doesn't. Anyway follow the podcast on X and Instagram you can email the podcast via Frank off the radio avalonuk.com you can whatsapp us on 07457 417 769

hello Tim hello Frank how are you I'm good you looking well yeah you're looking very well thanks starting to feel a bit like a Guzburi here we'll move on to you you see Frank a lot and I haven't seen Frank for a while. Frank looks exceptional. And also I don't think you can say to women anything about what they look like even if it's positive anymore without risking losing your entire career. I'm going to have a swing. You look bloody gorgeous. Oh, how's 1973?

There you have an inclination of who feels most secure in their career at the moment. He can say anything at his level, he can say anything. At my level. I could have gone further at my level. Please don't. Your hair looks lovely. Oh, Frank, deal with him. No, no, it's all gone a bit like when Mickey Rourke joined the Big Brother house. Oh, right.

And he said, well, you know what he said? You know AJ A-doo-doo? I know AJ A-doo-doo. He was looking at her like, like you might only look at people on the internet. Like he was looking at them really close and on Zoom. Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't like it. Did you see any of Mickey Rolke on Big Brother? Saw the clips. Okay. Do you see the clips? I saw a clip. I like the clips. That's how I see everything now. That's what I saw last one laughing, saw the clips. Yeah.

If I was you as a man with a film coming out soon I wouldn't celebrate people just seeing the clips? Yeah. Would you do that Frank? If I was you, as a man with a film coming out too, and I wouldn't celebrate people just seeing the clips. I'd bite your hand off for clips for our film. It's how it should best be watched, I think. On a mobile, through clips. Having waited 28 seconds for an advert to finish. Yeah, well if you're satisfied already with the advert, then just leave it there. True.

Well that'll probably be you as well, like most adverts. Oh, that's nice. Now I've said it. Said it. So let's get straight into the film, because I'll be honest with you, we don't have many people on who are plugging films. They're usually plugging like stand-up shows. Yeah.

And... Scrap metal. Scrap metal. What was David Badeal plugging? I don't know, I stopped listening after about eight minutes. Somebody stop him! Tim is in a film. It would have been his musical wouldn't it, his play? Oh yeah, he's got one of his children's books has become a musical.

Oh has he? I don't know if we mentioned that in the end. Well, we're doing that now. And then your next guest can talk about my film. Pay it forward style. Yeah. So what's Dave's thing called? What is it? I don't know. We can't fumble for the information like this. What's Dave's thing called?

What's Tim's film called? This is so unprofessional. You don't get this on the Jonathan Ross show! Look, I would have plugged it when Dave was on, but I couldn't get a fucking word in edgewise! Oh, can you swear these days? No! So, Tim has got a film out... Yeah, I do, yeah. And it's called The Ballad of Wallace Island.

Okay. And it's called the Ballad of Wallace Island. Okay and this is where you usually say to the guests do you want to you know what's it about? Yeah. But do you want to do that? Oh god no. I think we've covered it enough now. Yeah but I am very excited because one of my favorite actors is in it. Oh yeah. Carrie Mulligan. Oh yes. I love her. Oh she's one I love her. And she's married to Mumford. She's married to Mumford. Carrie, Mulligan and Mumford. Yes. Which... Machine Eyes? Oh god yeah. What's he going to say? No she was a vile monster. Nobody said oh god yeah. And get Mumford round there. Oh she was like... Don't forget Anson. Get a banjo and a vest through the old neck.

She was perfect across the board. Do you think his children call him Dadford? This mic feels a long way away, but we haven't soundchecked today, so I might just sound like someone shouting in a storm when this goes out. We can all soundcheck when it goes out. Yeah. I mean I'm getting no assistance I'll be straight with you. We'll soundcheck next week for this week. Yeah okay. What's your favourite Kerry Mulligan picture? I've got one. It's not a picture but it's Blink an episode of Doctor Who. Oh yeah. Was she in Doctor Who Kerry Mullard? She was in it once, like all the greats.

It's like National Service. Did you pop up in Doctor Who? Yeah I did yeah. Did you? You got your cribbons on. Who did you play? I was Perkins, the chief engineer of the Orient Express in space. Oh wow, that Orient Express. Have you not seen Frank's Perkins? I've not seen Frank's Perkins. You won't see him this weather. Oh Frank. That's why I walked to King's Cross.

His Perkins is worth a look. Is it good? Were you proud of your Perkins? I was fairly proud. I don't think I've reached the acting levels that you have Tim. You're one of them natural guys. In fact I want to give you a quote from the blurb on this. This is from the producer. From the producer? That cheapens it a bit. Seeing Tim Key and Tom Baston working together, this is where the quote starts, is nothing short of a masterclass in comedic and dramatic performances.

Wow. Wow. And that's literally from someone that I work with. Yeah. And who's trying us at other films. That's from someone who's financially dependent on the success of the... But you are a producer. On the listing you're an executive producer. What does that mean? Oh, it's a great question. Is it just the way of the... But you are a producer, on the listing you're an executive producer. What does that mean Nick?

Oh it's a great question. Is it just a way of getting more... I think I can go to Zoom meetings if I choose to. Oh okay, go to Zoom meetings. Yeah, go in person into a Basdom screen. Yeah. Oh Frank, what about what Mulligan's... oh sorry. I want to find out what Mulligan's...

No I do actually. We've got about seven executive producers. Yeah. So what do you think they do? I think they feel like they're... Well in my experience, my manager is always my executive producer. Right. And then some other people from the management company who win that monster raffle. Oh, right. Oh, they get the money.

And I don't know if they... I think you get hands-on ones, and you get ones who do nothing. I think I listen to The Rest Is Entertainment. Do you know that? We don't talk about that? I've heard of it. Yeah, OK. You're looking at me like... Well, you look furious that I've mentioned. I don't.

The room's just gone cold. Anyway, educate yourself. Richard Osmond talked you through this and he talks through what everyone does up to the producer and the producer's more hands on and the exec is hands off except when the shit hits the fan then the exec earns their money because they have to sort out everything. This is the stuff they talk about. Yeah.

The rest is empty. Not just that. They don't just go over it again every week. So the title makes a lot more sense now. Oh boy, did I walk into that one. Is it because it's based on your short film? That I'm an executive producer. To give you credit for that? Yeah, I don't know actually.

Well yeah, we made a short film, me and Tom Basden, and then I think maybe because we wrote it, I think once, maybe there's a tipping point where you're so involved that then you're automatically an executive producer maybe? Yeah. I don't remember like fighting to be an executive producer. No. They just thought they'd head that off. You're right, I bet your agent made a right fuss about you being an executive producer. They normally do make a fuss, don't they?

She's a Rottweiler. What about when Kerry Mulligan says, I'd always sort of loved them from afar? Isn't that good? Who? She'd said that about Tom Basdon and Tim Key. Yeah. That's not true, is it?

Did you validate that? I've always been fond of you. I think you're my favorite comedian, Tim. Oh my God. But I don't think... But you and Bas, then haven't worked together on stage for a long time. No, not for a long time, but what happened was we wrote like a hit list of the people we would approach to play this part now that Kerry played and Kerry Mulligan was the top of our list. We both love her. And Griff, our director. Who else was on the list?

Beneath her? I don't know, is that rude to say? Not really, because she's got the part. Beneath her? Is that the woman who used to do Big Brother? No, she was an Abba. Oh, of course. Beneath a false hulk. Well, there were some greats underneath her. Yeah, I just wondered, I just wondered who missed out. Who missed out? You can give us one can't you?

Of course I can give you one. It's a compliment to be on the list. Yeah I'll give you one immediately. Go on. I look forward to that. Billy Piper. Okay great choice. Yeah.

Nice. Did you just go for people who'd been in Doctor Who? Ideally yeah. Janet Ellis wasn't far off our radar. But yeah, so then I then approached Kerry Mulligan. You did? I did. How did you approach her?

By email. Oh thank God. Yeah. She was taking her dog for a walk. Finally we meet. How did you open? Dear Kerry, hi Kerry. Has to be Dear walk. Finally we meet. How did you open? Dear Kerry, Hi Kerry.

Has to be Dear Kerry. Oh, Dear Kerry. Yeah, Dear Kerry, I reckon. How are you? We can put the whole email in the show notes if you like. How are you? Yeah, would have been how are you. And then it gets into the more, then it's into the nitty gritty.

The offer. We think you're fantastic and then blending into we've written a film and we'd love you to be in it and then she wrote back and said I'd love to read it. You see it's interesting that because I would have thought you'd have to go to her agent. This email, I can't emphasise enough, was perfectly judged. Right. If you think there wasn't a couple of sentences in there about, we'll obviously send this to your agent if you can let me know.

Yeah, but too late, you've already broken the code of going direct to the artist. See, Frank likes to go to the agent. Did they? Yeah. Someone what, sorry? Broke the code. Phoned me. today. Did they? Yeah. Someone what, sorry? Broke the code. Oh. Phoned me. Okay.

Phoned? Well if I meet a new comedian now, and I feel like we're getting on well, I'll say, look, can I just say early doors, don't ask me to do a charity gig. I think the earlier you make that claim, the better. Do you really say that to people? Oh, totally. Because there's nothing worse than getting a text from someone and thinking, oh, The more you make that claim the better. Do you really say that to people? Oh, totally. Because there's nothing worse than getting a text from someone and thinking, oh, here

comes a charity gig. Yeah. Do you do many charity gigs? No. Is there a cause that might sort of move the needle? What is cause then? He secretly does give to you. I contribute to causes.

Oh, you do your fair share. But I don't, I... It's a secret philanthropy. Oh you do your fair share. It's a secret philanthropy. I know it is. No. Okay. I won't be if you say I'm here. Okay, I'm sorry.

I... How much do you... Sorry Frank, how much do you give away a year? Oh my god. Oh my god. You'll get nothing out of me. I don't care how badly you dress, you'll get no money. Tim's actually wearing merch.

Yes. Official film merch. I love that you're advertising your own film. That's unbelievable. I'm a hoarding. For sale? I believe it is, yeah. It's like the snooker stars having like Ben the Butcher on their lapel. Oh, it is like that isn't it? Yeah. Well, you know, this is, in the film there's a musician, well a duo, called Maguire Mortimer.

Look, shall we do that? Shall I do it? Just get it done and then we can move on. I'll do it very quickly. Tim is a millionaire. He's a massive fan of this duo, musical duo, no longer exist. So he invites one to the coast where he lives, and then he also secretly invites the other one, because he wants to get them back together. So he's like a mad fan who, it's got a baby reindeer vibe.

It's like a mad f- Baby reindeer sort of in those details, not baby reindeer vibe I wouldn't say. Okay. And so he, obviously there's all sorts of history between this man and this woman who were the double act before so there's an edge to it. That's a fair summary. It is yeah. Have you seen it?

No I've just, I've read about it copiously. I don't think you do need to see this. No, maybe I've seen it? No I've just I've read about it copiously. I don't think you do need to see this. It's yeah it's that but with you know it's made with love. Yeah and then so in the heart in the emotional heart of the film you get a lot of Basden and Kerry Mulligan acting away. Classy. Well I've got a quote from you here. There are more conflicting dynamics at play. Added key. Added key is good. Swallowed a dictionary. It's like this podcast. Last week's podcast I was pointing out that Steve Davis on the BBC snooker coverage described John Trump's cue action as idiosyncratic and caused a major stir amongst the petry. Oh really? They were saying have you swallowed

a dictionary? Well they said first of all that's a bit of a mouthful for us on the afternoon and it culminated with Dennis Taylor after much laughter saying God when you interview Steve Davis you don't know what you're gonna get. They don't like it when you use long words. No. No. Was that were they in the studio or were they in the commentary so were they were the audience laughing? No it went from, no the audience, so it went from the the studio and then it went to like the commentators speaking over the table and still laughing about the fact that Steve had said he was syncretic. Were you laughing at home? I was furious at the celebration of ignorance.

But you know, that happens most days. Do you know the result of Mark Williams against John Higgins? I will by the time this goes out. Good point. In fact, by the time this goes out, I think we'll be on the verge of all those in the final. John Higgins? Are they just hybrid names, Snooker players? A former Snooker players? It's John Parra and Alex Higgins.

John Higgins. So look, I want to give... I want to give Basden full credit here, because I haven't quite. You co-wrote the film. Initially, you co-wrote a short film. Yeah, when we were living together in 2006. Right, and that was BAFTA nominated. BAFTA nominated. Wow. And then when lockdown happened, and I can't think of any person in showbiz who got more out of lockdown than you did.

In lockdown you said, you said let's expand that short film into a major theatrical release. Yeah, that was the plan. Yeah. And so we wrote it. And we better get a woman in it, otherwise the critics will be on our backs. Well, it would be like the two popes. I think the phrase you're after is we wanted to expand the universe. Yes, exactly. We wanted to expand the universe, which is constantly expanding, I understand. It's true, yeah, but you don't do your bit. Yeah.

I'm one of those people who just sit back and let other people do it. Let the universe expand around you. Exactly. You just let Elon get on with it. It is. I'm a bit of a solar system potato. Yeah, so we added some more story into it and some more characters and then yeah, we managed to somehow get it made.

Which are you in the partnership? You know there's often one who's the forensic caretaker. Oh great, great. I think that's, Bazdan is like, he's the engine. Yeah, he is full throttle. I can't, he's intimidating. Are you the ideas man? I think I just sort of print it out. Do you intimidating. Are you the ideas man? I think I just sort of print it out.

Do you decorate? Are you one of those folks who decorates? I'm a decorator. Well they do talk about the the typer and the pacer don't they? Yes. I'll protect in the gardener. Exactly but we're not in the same room. We're just we're not involved in any of that. You've worked with him quite a lot though. He's done music on your albums. He has. Yeah and we do a radio show together where I write the radio show and then he's

in it. And then he's the decorator. He's the decorator and then he puts me in his TV stuff where he writes the material and I do the script. And then he's done, he's written a couple of plays that I've been in as well. Can you remember the moment and who it was of the two of you who broached the idea of a collaboration? Oh great. I'm fascinated by this because nobody ever has ever offered me a collaboration. What about David Badell?

What about all those charity gigs? Yeah, they offered me those. What about with you and David? Yeah, you and David. You know what? I play a straight bat. I want you to answer this too. I want to know what happened with you and David. Don't you want to know? How did he put that to you?

I suppose that was a collaboration. And was there a conversation where he said, Hi Frank. According to interviews he's given recently, he had a series of ideas which then I was brought in on What? Is he rewriting history? Totally You can't let him do that Frank

Oh I don't care anymore Oh but this is the problem with you Frank, you used to have so much get up and go No, I... You can't be defeated by it all It has always been... I can't, I can't You know has always been. You know when you watch tennis. When you watch tennis. And you get what seems a very mismatched John McEnroe and Peter Fleming. Oh right. The original odd couple. I think how did Peter Fleming get Oh right, an original odd couple. I think, how did Peter Fleming get to be with

John McEnroe? He must have asked him. McEnroe's thinking, oh god, it's a bit awkward. Can't really say no. This can't be about you and David. No, but I'm on about, I never get, who out of you and Tom Barstin had the guts to say... Me, I approached Barstin. Okay. Did you? Yep. Brave. He was in a sketch show and I was directing it. And so I would watch him every night. And I was transfixed. I was glued to him. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

And then at the end of that... You were the director? Yeah. That's a performer's worst nightmare. One of the backroom boys saying, Can I be in it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I moved in front of the backroom boys saying can I be in it? I moved in front of the camera. Oh no. Yeah. But I wouldn't have the courage to ask even the most menial not very good circuit comedian to do a collaboration for me. Well, in case they say no. You did write to Alan Bennett once. I did write to Alan Bennett and I got short shrift. I wrote to Stephen Fry. What did he say? Short shrift, but in a good way.

Can you all write a book called short shrift? Is it short shrift? Imagine if Stephen Fry was on the snooker coverage. What, they'd have a field day. They'd be crying with laughter. Just the hello. Stephen Fry wrote back saying, thank you very much for your kind letter. I will continue to do my utmost to entertain you.

No, but I wrote to Alan Benney asking if he wanted to collaborate on a play. Oh, did you? And what did he say? He said, of course I know who you are, it began. And then he said, I'm not very good at collaborating, I tend to work on my own. Yeah. And I've never asked anyone since. Do you ever collaborate? Yes. Who do you work with? All of you. Oh yeah. This is cheap. I'm on about actually sitting in a room and writing something. Yes, I've done it a few times but not... You've got a bit cagey with someone. I haven't got any films out though. I don't have

much to show for it maybe. I've done lots of writing work and things with other people. Secretly. What, films? You're not mentioning any names. Secret films? Well, I'm trying to remember if I'm allowed to have written for something. Oh, I see. I wrote for Spitting Image, the much-loved comeback of Spitting Image that people were furious about from every angle. I'd say where I'm coming at. I just don't think

people, I don't think people see me as approachable. That's the bottom line. I'll be honest, I think that's great. After all that talk of not doing charity. Are you for real? I saw these pictures on the internet of you at Ed Gamble's wedding. Oh yeah. There's all these comedians arms around each other. Oh they're all friends. Real loving the thing. Frank Frank's never been part of that I think. Frank you are. No I've never been part of that. You've got your own friends. Yeah you've got your own friends. You've got David Bideal. Too big too soon that's what killed it for me. Oh so hang on so how quick did you reach the top? Thirty. You know I had like three years sitting in joint dressing rooms and then suddenly I'm sitting in dressing rooms on my own.

Oh. Do you think it happened too quickly on reflection? That is fast. Well, it wouldn't be the first time. Oh Frank, that's disgusting. Can I? I saw the money is... Can I ask where... Bought my life a house. A lot of the albums... Where did calling Tom Best in Lord come from? Oh, yeah, that's because one time he was just telling a story

about... he just basically said that he had a lift in his house. So we were saying that he was like rich. He's like a lord. Yeah, and so it was like a very inconsequential conversation about 20 years ago but after that I always called him lord. That has tattooed his life. Yeah he was then my landlord which would make much more sense that's why he's called lord

but it was an inconsequential conversation. Okay. That's probably got one from the council because he's got inner ear issues. Really? Issues? Yeah, gotta be issues. Can't just be inner ear. No, we've all got that. What are the issues? Balance, I suppose? Yeah, balance. We'll leave it there. Okay. But then I did I do have like I do collaborate with Alex Horne. Okay. Oh he's a nice boy. And that was him approaching me. Just in every collaboration I think it was Elton John

and his Brandy Carlisle. Okay well I think Alex feels like he's got a bit more of the Elton John about him. Okay. I think I'm the Brandy Carlile in that one. And it's not just the film that's going to be, it's going to be in cinemas, a proper go to see film, where you eat popcorn and watch it. I actually saw today that I think it's going to be in the ODIM. Shut up. I saw that. I actually saw that. I think it's going to be in the Odeon. Shut up. I saw that. I actually saw that. That's like a proper cinema there. Can you check that Sarah?

I actually... Don't you use our team like that. It's not using your team, it's what it is. She doesn't do stuff for me anymore. I know she's doing it for Tim Key. Yeah, I think so though. I think it's going to be on in the Odeon. I don't know how many times I've got to say it. Look at the way he said that, he's changed. He's gone a bit Logan Roy in succession. Can you check that Sarah? Yeah, I to be on in the Odeon. I don't know how many times I've got to say it. Look at the way he said that. He's changed. He's gone a bit Logan Roy in succession. Can you check that Sarah? Yeah. Our movie will be in the Odeon. Check that Sarah. But I think it will. I'm surprised if it's not. Hello. Yeah. Yes, we're in the Odeon Frank. Just to confirm. Fantastic. How many times are you going to see it and sort of heckle yourself? So far I've seen this movie three times. And very enjoyable. enjoyable but decreasing, decreasingly enjoyable each

time. Well like everything you want to. You see Mr Higgs. I saw a great movie last night. Yeah. You're gonna plug that? Is it your film? I can plug it if you like. Okay. What was it? Tim Vines film. What's Tim Vines film? Tim Vines made a film. What? Yeah. Is he the pun one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah he's the pun one. And darts. He's pun and darts. Does it bring both of these strands together? There's no darts. There's pun. Okay, and there's a lot of Elvis. Oh and he was just in Timberlake on Let's Dance for Comic Relief. Was he? Yeah, very good actually. He's one of the greats, but his movie is fantastic. And he's definitely exec. He's writer, star, director and producer. So, I mean if he's not exactly has been very unlucky. Well, yeah

Let's plug Tim Vines. I'm fine. Yeah get all the Tim's out there. It's getting me mean. I My respect for Tim Vines was already pretty high and then I did a sort of Like opening of the fringe gig at the fringe once and he said Oh, you'd you don't mind if I go on in your slot to you I've just I've got to go have a curry with 11 friends. And I thought, God, that's such a good reason. God, I think, wasn't that said just before the last supper? Was that a curry?

I think that's in the New Testament. I'll just have a look at that painting. I think Judas said it, and when he said friends he did those speech quotations. Judas has always done that. I don't remember seeing any noms. In fact I think Judas said it and when he said friends he did those speech quotations. Judas has always done that. I don't remember seeing any naan bread on the table in that Leonardo's you were in a double act, like a sketch show on TV. What was it?

Well, it called with Freeze. You're in a double act called Freeze. Oh yeah, so me and Tom Bazden do like a double act. It's like a very occasional thing. I haven't done it for a while, where it's just late at night somewhere. Is it sketches? It's sketches and me doing poetry and him doing singing

and us having a kind of traditional Double act relationship. Oh I'm quite mean to him on stage and then we made a Pilot for so I wouldn't say it being on TV is a bit of a stretch, but we made a pilot of her Yeah, but it's a good idea for a pilot. I think yeah. Yeah. What a sketch, yeah. No, we're a, no, it's a, it's like a comedy. We're a double act and we're going around the country supporting Nina Conti and I'm in love with Nina Conti. People, someone's taking a picture of us Frank. Quite right too. Yeah. Spirit love. Get the

word out. Yeah. Is this your people? Yeah, it all comes back to the film. There's a lot of seats in the audience. We've never had that before. What, someone taking a photo through there? Yeah, it's only because you're here, Tim. Do you ever go to Deschum? Next door. Pierre does, but Frank and I don't. I've been a couple of times. Have you?

Big old breakfast naan. Oh, it's great. The wrestlers' naan. It's all gone a bit last supper. Yeah. The wrestlers' naan. The wrestlers' naan. You won't be able to handle it.

A novel by Beryl Bane. I've still gone a bit last supper. The Wrestler's Nun. You won't be able to handle it. A novel by Beryl Bainbridge. So have you been allowed time to do live stuff? Just starting to do it again now. And you've got a new poetry book coming out. New poetry book? LA Baby. Or is it French?

La Baby. We spent a lot of time yeah. Or is it French? La Baby. La Baby. Oh, we spent a lot of time trying to work out how to write it. Of B-E-B-E. When you say we... Our baby is fine. Are you talking to Uniper? We're talking... This is the highlight of her year, every year.

Well, you know what? She loves hearing the name come from your mouth. We need to explain that. I mean, full respect to Tom Bastam, but I don't think he's Tim's greatest collaborator. He's not fit to lace up a piece. We need to explain this, Frank. Well, Emily Juniper does all the Tim's books and they are, as I've said before, obj.it. They really are.

Even if you didn't read them. If you couldn't read, it'd be worth buying one of Tim's books. Yeah. Just for the... If you pass my bag, I'll show you... Sarah, could you pass Tim's bag? There's Tim's bag. Passed by me. Was there a lot of debate over whether or not LA should have full stops, capitalization or that? There's been the entire debate over the last ten days. Yeah. Do you put the full stops in and do you have an exclamation mark after baby and more to the point? Do you have a comma after LA? Oh interesting. LA baby! You get a full stop comma and that doesn't look nice.

Well we were staring down the barrel at one point of L full stop A full stop comma space B A B Y exclamation mark. I mean that's more punctuation than letters. It's a bit LA confidential. Well we googled that and that's L.A. I knew it was. I knew it was Tim. You know you're going to start being called Tim Keyboard. Well we've gone for, that's what it

used to be, but we've added an exclamation mark. So this, oh. Looks great. We're holding. I love the font. Is this a proof copy or is this it? This is not it. This is the proof copy. That's full of mistakes.

Okay. Is it, it's presumably based around a real trip to LA. It's based around a real trip to LA where, yeah, I was there for 10 weeks. Was, is the, is the unnamed TV show real? The unnamed TV show is real. Is it? Have you read it?

Yes. Oh, god, I'm pious. Yes. Please, sir, I've read it all. Yeah, fantastic. The only TV show is real. Everything is real. Yeah. Do you want to read a poem? Yeah, I'll read a poem. Okay. Oh. Yes. Yeah. Okay. A pithy one. Should we keep talking? Excuse me. That's very medieval court. A pithy one, if you would. Sire. Okay, so this is a poem about... Have you been to LA, anyone? No, never. Yes, we've all been. I went to LA... My first time I went to LA, I went to interview Robin Williams. Okay. And it was in the days when from the airport you could literally see a yellow smog. Really? I mean you

could, it was thick. Wow. First time I went was to interview Robert Pattinson. Wow. There you go. Both Robbins. Yeah and then I... Robert Pattinson. Do you know him? Yes, was in a movie with him earlier in the year. You weren't but he was very famous. He was in a movie with him earlier in the year. You weren't, but he was very famous. He was in a film with Robert. Were you? You weren't. Oh my god, he was. Let me read this poem. You don't know what I'm capable of. He's done well, hasn't he Tim? You've done well.

Not as well as you're doing now. Strange conversation. I'm yesterday or today. You're from before. Oh yeah, I'm from before. When we were talking earlier I was on about a comic who was a contemporary of mine and Tim said oh you mean from before. That's where I've come from. Will you read that pity poem? Let's hear it. Okay, this is about when being in LA and trying to like, you know, being lonely or whatever. I fired up Instagram. Okay, let's be having you. I DM'd Hank's, Streep and Parton and sipped my Japanese lager. Come on guys, I'm new here, throw me a bone. I DM'd the great Adam Sandler. I'm in Hollywood bro, what say you buy me a few beers, make a young newbie feel welcome.

I continued leafing through them. Hoffman, Stallone, Luke Skywalker, mud against the wall really, firing flares into the night sky, waiting for an A-lister to bite. Did it work? Oh I met one. Who was it? McDowell. Really? Which one? Malcolm. Okay. Oh really? Wow that was a good one.

I think that's a good one. That's great. Yeah because I thought you would, you know, it'd be someone obvious. No, McDowell is obvious. That's really good. No. Yeah that was a thrill.

Clockwork Orange. Yeah. If. I think that's the best McDowell. I think it's up there. I think maybe it's the best a-lister What about a Roddy McDowell or a planet of the eight? I don't know if he's with us any longer is he? Ah, I'm not sure but Andy of course as well. Yeah, and of course. Yeah. Yeah, but you meet some stars of yesteryear in the in the book I do meet some stars of yesteryear. Yeah, do you know they pop they pop up. Audrey Hepburn. Yes, Laurel. Laurel. Yeah, I meet Laurel

Yeah, I had to do the um, the audiobook the other day and so I had to do an impression of Laurel. Can you do impressions? It's not easy, is it? Um, I don't know how impressionists do it But the way I did it was get a youtube clip of him on Wogan or something and then just say They just listen listen and repeat. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. He's got to, he's got to, can you repeat? Can you do him? Well, I'll do an actual quote.

Is this Brian Walton? No, this is- Stan Laurel. Stan Laurel he does. So, my uncle fell through a trap door and broke his neck. Was he building a house? No, they were hanging him. Yeah. That's brilliant. You've heard the voice most recently of anyone? Oh wow! Did you go up for it?

Steve Coogan's one? You can't compete with Coogan. You can. You can. I'm from before. That's my day job. Oh yeah, I forgot that. That is it, literally. Last time you were on you caught me. I don't even think of it as competing. Last time you were on you caught me over having never watched it.

Oh did I? Have you never watched it? We were talking about it. Is that why you've written essay notes on the film that hasn't been released yet? Well, I, no, yes I was making up for it. We should say, by the way, the release date. If I want to go to the Odeon and see the Ballad of Wallace Island, when should I attend?

May the 30th? Yeah. 2025. From May the 30th, we should say. You don't have to go on May the 30th. Was it the date? That would be a disaster. We wouldn't be as sly as...

Was it the date I was expecting? I think wait till it's almost finished and then go in. What were you expecting? I think I've seen another release date. Oh, what, May the 9th? That's right. Sarah's checking now. Yeah, I'm confident.

I've got Tom Basdon coming on my podcast. So May the 30th. Is it going to be another one of those great British films like The Full Monty? Oh, that would be good. That's a good one. It's different in tone and scale. It's a smaller vibe than that.

And there's music in it as written by Tom Baston. Tom Baston is on fire. When's he coming to Walk His Dog? He's coming, I think we're doing it next week maybe. Are you? He sent me a, I will be watching it. Very good thinking. What? He sent you the movie?

Yeah. But you didn't get sent the movie for this? No. Oh, okay. I had to just go off notes. That's because it was for Tom. Oh. I think they probably assumed if they sent me the movie I wouldn't be able to work it.

Because you're from before. Exactly. There's no point sending him the Wee Transfer link. He knows not of Vimeo. When Carey's in the UK, we'll all come in and act it out for you. Yeah. They don't seem to have a magic lantern version. I think you could open a link, couldn't you?

I can imagine you opening a link. I've opened links before. I bet you have. But you're bloody brilliant at opening links. Well, let's not go over the top. Can you navigate TikTok, Frank? Oh, don't use Facebook. I haven't.

Okay. But his is on it. That doesn't mean I couldn't. No, I think I can see you on TikTok. I think we're on TikTok. Frank's got a very big fan base on TikTok. Really? That isn't true, is it?

It is. I must check these things. Anyway, look Tim, you are, I think, my favorite comedian. Sorry, Pierre, you're very close. Thank you. When can I come and see you live next? Live is... I think it will be the 12th

of May. What? That's soon. Yeah, we're just about to announce it. It will be announced now. We're announcing it on Friday. Well, hang on, it's just in a few days, isn't it? No, that's two days ago. Oh, the 12th of May. Yeah. That's Monday. It's a week on Monday. It's what for you is a very small tour. This one is going to be like, no, I'm doing a week in Soho theater. Oh, okay.

Oh yeah. I'm doing a book tour for the book in June, but then I'm going to do a week in the Soho theater, then two weeks, the start of July, and then do a tour at some point. Are you just stand and read from the book? No, there's a book, there's two different tours. One's the book tour where it will be in conversation. Oh. Yeah. Nice and cushy.

Yeah, nice. That is enjoyable, isn't it? Emily took me to see David Sedaris once and I thought he'll be with you. He just read from the books. Oh no, I won't be doing that. He just read from the books. I thought I'd get enough of this in church. It was the worst decision I'd ever made. You know when you say, oh you'll really like this Frank and I could tell from his body language he wasn't enjoying it at all. Audiobook life?

Oh, he hated it. What is Tim Vines film? We might as well complete the plug of Tim Vines film. What's it called? Don't know. I can't rememberines film. What's it called? Don't know. I can't remember. Okay. Sarah's on to it. I think work in progress, the reviews, correspondent. Maybe remember the names. There's got to be a pun in the title. There's got to be a pun. No, there isn't.

There isn't a pun in the title. That's insane. Are you absolutely sure? There's a lot of people looking it up now. I think it's not easy to find because he's done it in quite a kind of a modest way. He just put it on in the Curz and Soho last night. And it was one of the most enjoyable times I've ever had watching a movie. It was just so funny. It's so, I think he funded it himself, the whole thing a movie it was just so so funny it's so I think he funded it himself the whole thing and it is just a wonderful charming movie and I hope he just does that again and again where he comes on introduces his movie

and then people just watch the movie with him but I don't know what he's gonna do with it but it's brilliant if you ever get the chance. Well, thank you. I'm gonna go again. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll come with you It's the Frank Skinner podcast don't you know Thanks for listening to the podcast Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com.